Tarfumes.com - Humor, politics, and more

RIP, Mr. Wizard

2007-06-12T18:24:00.000-07:00

RIP, Mr. Wizard.

Mr. Wizard passes away

Debate hijacked by crazy old man

2007-05-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

Last night's episode of The Daily Show featured highlights of the Democratic Debate from South Carolina last week. The highlight: the debate being hijacked by a crazy old man (former Senator Mike Gravel of Alaska, who is apparently running for president)

Move along, there's nothing to see here

2007-04-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

Over $800 million of offered foreign aid after Hurricane Katrina went unused

March protests pace of 9th Ward recovery

No relation between the 2 stories at all.

Stephen Colbert Sean Penn Meta-Free-Phor-All

2007-04-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night's edition of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took on Sean Penn in a Meta-Free-Phor-All. Robert Pinsky served as the moderator. I won't ruin who wins, but it will suffice to say that it's a funny clip. The random challenges are one of the best things about the show.

John McCain's MySpace got "hacked"

2007-03-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

MySpace sucks, but this is pretty funny.

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat//articles/0328mccain-myspace28-ON.html

Osama Bin Laughing?

2007-03-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

Rowan Atkinson, of Mr. Bean fame, is planning on starring in a comedy as Osama Bin Laden.

It will be interesting to see if he pulls it off, but it will be hard to do. I suggest musical numbers and fart jokes.

Dick Cheney to stand trial for sodomizing dead dog?

2007-02-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

I knew it!

A story about a guy being charged with sodomizing a dead dog, accompanied by a photo of Dick Cheney? Now that's just funny.

The actual article, as of last check the photo was still there

Kiss My Ass George

2007-02-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

Kiss My Ass, George!

And no, my ass isn't up on the site.

Don't Stop Believing in Tony Romo

2007-02-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

My Valentine's Day present to you:

TONY ROMO + MR. BELDING + JOURNEY + RANDOM METAL BAND = BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO EVER

Why are those guys covered in hair?

2007-02-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

Two men responsible for yesterday's Aqua Teen Hunger Force bomb scare will only answer questions about hair

LOL. This story just keeps getting better and better. I love how Boston is freaking out about this, but none of the other cities with the lite brites are.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force causes bomb scare

2007-01-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

Aqua Teen Hunger Force causes bomb scare in Boston

Electronic light boards featuring an adult-cartoon character triggered bomb scares around Boston on Wednesday, spurring authorities to close two bridges and a stretch of the Charles River before determining the devices were harmless.

Turner Broadcasting Co., the parent company of CNN, said the devices contained harmless magnetic lights aimed at promoting the Adult Swim network's late-night cartoon "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." Law enforcement sources said the devices displayed one of the Mooninites, outer-space delinquents who appear frequently on the show, greeting visitors with a raised middle finger.

That is awesome.

Law and Order: Scranton Victims Unit

2007-01-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a great trailer for The Office - in the style of a crime drama.

Bored tonight? How about the SOTU Drinking Game?

2007-01-23T16:14:00.000-07:00

Wonkette has created a pretty good State of the Union Drinking Game.

Some of my favorite rules:

Chug your beer or down your wine or do two shots when:

Audible "fuck you!" from House side.
Fox cuts to Harry Reid playing pocket pool.

Normally I would watch so I can have a laugh, but the Suns are playing the Wizards tonight, and that game will be far more entertaining.

Edit: It appears that MSNBC is going to re-air the State of the Union address throughout the night, so if you are like me and have something better to watch, or if you just want to play the drinking game over and over again and never wake up again, you can tune in there.

Colbert on O'Reilly, O'Reilly on Colbert

2007-01-19T15:16:00.000-07:00

Last night, Stephen Colbert and Bill O'Reilly appeared on each others shows.

Stephen Colbert on The O'Reilly Factor:

Bill O'Reilly on the Colbert Report:

Stephen Colbert sure does do a great job of staying in character. And Bill O'Reilly is not very funny. But we knew that. I'll give him credit though for playing along.

No More Kings - Sweep the Leg

2007-01-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

Now here is an interesting video. A band called No More Kings has done a tribute to Karate Kid called "Sweep the Leg". For the music video, they got the cast of the Karate Kid, including Ralph Macchio and William Zabka (no Pat Morita, of course, RIP). Plus Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell for really no fucking reason. Not that you need a reason for our favorite principal.

Oh yeah, and the song? It REALLY sucks.

Barack Obama gets ready to run

2007-01-17T15:57:00.000-07:00

As expected, Barack Obama has formed an exploratory committee, which is the first step in a presidential run.

The video below is from his site, and serves as a nice little introduction to his campaign.

Bloomberg: "We are waiting for the gas to pass"

2007-01-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

This is what is on the Drudge Report right now about the natural gas smell that is currently wafting through New York City:

Ah, there's nothing like a good fart joke.

(props to Best Week Ever)

A very good day

2007-01-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

I've got CSPAN on right now, and for the first time in a very long time, it's not depressing and frustrating to watch. A Democratic Senate has just been sworn in. A Democratic house has been sworn in. After receiving a huge standing ovation, and then a long roll call vote, Nancy Pelosi has just been sworn in as Speaker of the House. Now we can begin some real progress.

Today is the day where the new congresspeople bring all of their families to the chamber. After the roll call vote, they showed a row of kids, and there was a little girl who had her leg up on a seat. Well, the little boy next to her didn't like that, and repeatedly shoved her leg to get her to move. It was cute and funny.

The children are now being invited up to touch the Speaker of the House's gavel. It's nice to be able to write that with no double meaning.

Before the session started, they showed Harry Mitchell. He was looking around the chamber with this huge grin on his face. Congrats, Harry, you deserve it.

Today is a very good day.

PS: Dick Cheney is apparently still alive. Who would have guessed?

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

We are apparently going to die this year. But don't worry, Jesus will save us.

An AP-AOL News poll asked Americans what they thought would happen in 2007. Here are the highlights of their results:

Six in 10 people think the U.S. will be the victim of a terrorist attack. An identical percentage thinks it likely that a biological or nuclear weapon will be unleashed somewhere else in the world.

Seventy percent of people in the U.S. predict a major natural disaster in the country and an equal percentage expects worsening global warming. Also, 29 percent think it likely that the U.S. will withdraw its troops from Iraq.

35 percent predict the military draft will be reinstated.

35 percent predict a cure for cancer will be found.

25 percent anticipate the second coming of Jesus Christ.

19 percent think scientists are likely to find evidence of extraterrestrial life.

So there you have it. Aliens are going to cure cancer by warming up the planet, but then attack us, so we will need to remove our troops from Iraq and have a draft, but Jesus will come back and lead us to victory. You heard it here first.

Dumbass of the Week

2006-12-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

The Dumbass of the Week award goes to Tobi Gutt, a 21-year-old German tourist.

Tobi, like many other people his age, had a desire to go to Sydney, Australia on vacation. However, when booking his ticket online, he entered the destination incorrectly, and ended up in Sidney, Montana.

"I did wonder but I didn't want to say anything," Gutt told the Bild newspaper. "I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the United States."

Tobi spent 3 days in the Billings, Montana airport before family and friends finally sent money to have his dumb ass shipped home.

Gerald Ford Dana Carvey SNL Tom Brokaw

2006-12-27T09:45:00.000-07:00


I found the Saturday Night Live video featuring Dana Carvey that I referred to in my post about Gerald Ford's death yesterday. Enjoy.

Gerald Ford dead today, at the senseless age of 93

2006-12-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

Gerald Ford has passed away. And you know what that means.

Yes, it is time for that classic SNL sketch starring Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw (Full Transcript).

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ sad ] "Gerald Ford dead today.. at age 84.."

Voice of Producer: That was good. Good.

Tom Brokaw: Okay, what now?

Voice of Producer: Now let's do one for if he's shot.

Tom Brokaw: Well, what are the chances of that?

Voice of Producer: We're just covering contingencies.

Tom Brokaw: I mean, it just seems that Gerald Ford..

Voice of Producer: Look - you're the one who wants to spend the whole winter in Barbados, okay? Now, we gotta be ready with something, just in case. Alright, Tom?

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Gerald Ford, "1913-1996" ] "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at age 83."

Voice of Producer: Uh.. add the word "senseless".

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford shot dead today, at the senseless age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Um.. uh..

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. "Gerald Ford shot senselessly dead, at the age of 83."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Okay, now suicide.

Tom Brokaw: What?!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Alright. "Gerald Ford dead today, after jupming out of an office building, senselessly."

Voice of Producer: That's a nice touch. Okay, moving on.

Tom Brokaw: Okay. "Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

Voice of Producer: Good, good.. Next.

Tom Brokaw: Alright. [ graphic of Gerald Ford and a commuter plane ] "Stunning news from Michigan, as former President Gerald Ford was chopped into little bits by the propeller of a commuter plane."

Voice of Producer: Good. One take.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, we got it?

Voice of Producer: No. We've got "eaten by wolves".

Tom Brokaw: What? Now, come on!

Voice of Producer: Just read it!

Tom Brokaw: Gerald Ford isn't gonna be eaten by wolves!

Voice of Producer: Taft was.

Tom Brokaw: Really? Taft?

Voice of Producer: Uh.. yeah.

Tom Brokaw: Alright, alright.. [ graphic of Ford surrounded by a pair of wolves ] "Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious." Now.. now, that's just superfluous, you know?

Voice of Producer: It's a former President, Tom. What do you say - he's not delicious?

For the moment, that transcript will have to suffice, as I can't find it on Youtube.

Stephen Colbert vs. the Decemberists

2006-12-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

On last night's 2006 finale of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took on the Decemberists in a guitar solo challenge.

I love the Colbert Report, and I love the Decemberists, so needless to say, it was a good show.

The show featured Colbert and the band, of course, as well as cameos from Henry Kissinger, Peter Frampton, and Rick Neilson of Cheap Trick, who apparently created the them for the Colbert Report.

Below is the original challenge from Colbert, as well as a Colbert-inspired entry from the Decemberists' green screen challenge for O! Valencia. To view the entire episode from last night, go to comedycentral.com.

Congratulations!

2006-12-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

Congrats!

You have been named Time magazine's Person of the Year!

Does this mean I can put this on my resume?

Border Fence Firm Snared for Hiring Illegal Workers

2006-12-15T11:02:00.000-07:00

This is just slightly ironic.

Company hired to build the fence along the U.S./Mexico border busted for hiring illegal immigrants