TarsTarkas.NET Blog http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog Not Just Another TarsTarkas.NET Blog Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:01:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 John Carter of Different Trailer http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/08/john-carter-of-different-trailer/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/08/john-carter-of-different-trailer/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 10:01:20 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7102
Here is a trailer spot for John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) that showed up on ComingSoon.com, which features the odd line about how the Martians are going to invade Earth or something. In case you are wondering, that’s not in the books at all. It is weird, each trailer is either really good or really terrible.

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/08/john-carter-of-different-trailer/feed/ 0 John Carter of Extended Super Bowl Ad http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/john-carter-of-extended-super-bowl-ad/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/john-carter-of-extended-super-bowl-ad/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:18:19 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7094

Hey, they cut out the “Ma’am” in the “Yes, ma’am”! That makes that scene 100% less corny. So here is your extended commercial for John Carter (of Mars, dammit!) that has a bit more new footage. Things still don’t look totally awesome, but at least we’re seeing some nice action pieces, things exploding, and apes being killed by huge rocks.

Taylor Kitsch John Carter

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/john-carter-of-extended-super-bowl-ad/feed/ 0 Jaws 19 Poster http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/jaws-19-poster/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/jaws-19-poster/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:04:10 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7090 Jaws 19
Here is a poster for Jaws 19 as it appeared in the background somewhere in Back to the Future Part II. The original artwork was auctioned off along with many other pieces of memorabilia in December 2011.

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/05/jaws-19-poster/feed/ 0 The Happytime Murders http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/03/the-happytime-murders/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/03/the-happytime-murders/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:05:56 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7079 Thanks to the success of the Muppets movie, things have now shaken loose for the film The Happytime Murders, a puppet/human murder mystery movie that has been in development since 2008. The Happytime Murders are set in a world where puppets and people live together, but puppets are treated as second-class citizens.

When the puppet cast of an 1980s kids TV show gets murdered one by one, a disgraced detective-turned-private eye puppet takes on the case.

Brian Henson will direct, and the script is written by Todd Berger and Dee Austin Robertson. And Katherine Heigl is going to be in it for some reason.

Grover Detective

Variety via twitter
Image via

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/03/the-happytime-murders/feed/ 0 Check out this AWFUL 3D Star Wars Episode 1 Trailer http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/01/check-out-this-awful-3d-star-wars-episode-1-trailer/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/01/check-out-this-awful-3d-star-wars-episode-1-trailer/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:44:24 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7074
Yes, it’s cool to hate Lucas, but seriously, Episode 1, SERIOUSLY? You need to check out this trailer monstrosity designed to sucker poor innocent kids into seeing this film. The narration. THE NARRATION!! My brain…melted on the floor…out my ears…

For those of you who are lucky, you will be unaware that this trailer is narrated in the style of the Disney BLAM! If you aren’t lucky, then you clicked that link and are now wondering why there is a moron explaining everything happening during the cartoon and saying lame jokes. Apparently kids these days are wet cardboard box stupid or something.

At least check out this Disney BLAM! parody

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/02/01/check-out-this-awful-3d-star-wars-episode-1-trailer/feed/ 3 Adam Sandler is now the Lord of Candy Land http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/31/adam-sandler-is-now-the-lord-of-candy-land/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/31/adam-sandler-is-now-the-lord-of-candy-land/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 23:28:44 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7070 Remember back in the day when we were promised the Candy Land movie would be like Lord of the Rings, except everyone would probably get diabetes by the third film and be missing legs? Well, that dream is as dead as your dreams of becoming an astronaut, because now Adam Sandler will star in the Candy Land movie and co-write it with Robert Smigel. This is fallout of the collapse of the Universal/Hasbro deal, which also claimed the lives of the Clue movie among others. Stretch Armstrong jumped ship to Relativity Media, and now Sony snagged Candy Land. Will the Viewmaster movie find a place? What about the movie for Uno? Because we need an Uno movie. We need it to be like Lord of the Rings for card games…
eeyore costume

This image came up when i searched for "Adam Sandler Eating Candy", so here it is

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/31/adam-sandler-is-now-the-lord-of-candy-land/feed/ 0 Stretch Armstrong cannot die, extends release date to April 2014 http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/stretch-armstrong-cannot-die-extends-release-date-to-april-2014/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/stretch-armstrong-cannot-die-extends-release-date-to-april-2014/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:05:00 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7061 Yes, that’s a terrible title pun. But regardless, the Stretch Armstrong film starring Taylor Lautner was dropped by Universal a short while back as Universal began pulling away from some of the Hasbro films (because Battleship is going to flop like 10,000 dolphins at Sea World!) But never fear, Relativity Media has come to save the day, and the now shirtless werewolf free Stretch Armstrong will be around to lose them money now!

The Stretch Armstrong toys are probably more interesting than the movie. Besides our hero Stretch Armstrong, the original 1970s line had Stretch Monster and Stretch Octopus!
Stretch Armstrong Stretch Monster Stretch Octopus

But when Stretch Armstrong was rebooted in the 1990s, he has a host of new villains! There was his evil brother Wretch Armstrong, the evil Vac-Man, and Stretch’s new canine companion Fetch Armstrong!
Wretch Armstrong
vac-man
Fetch Armstrong

And let’s not forget this version, which sadly is not stingray-proof…
Steve Irwin Stretch Doll

via
toy images via via via via

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/stretch-armstrong-cannot-die-extends-release-date-to-april-2014/feed/ 0 The Muppets attack Fox News! http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/the-muppets-attack-fox-news/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/the-muppets-attack-fox-news/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:58:38 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7059
It’s a good day when a major media company gets into a war of words with some puppets, and that day is upon us as Fox News’s attacks that the Muppet movie has a liberal agenda against oil companies gets a succinct and direct assessment by Miss Piggy.

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/the-muppets-attack-fox-news/feed/ 0 Don’t Hug me I’m Scared http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/dont-hug-me-im-scared/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/dont-hug-me-im-scared/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:20:19 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=7054

A new Film by This Is It

]]> http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/30/dont-hug-me-im-scared/feed/ 0 Woody Woodpecker laughing his way to the big screen http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/26/woody-woodpecker-laughing-his-way-to-the-big-screen/ http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/2012/01/26/woody-woodpecker-laughing-his-way-to-the-big-screen/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:09:23 +0000 Tars Tarkas http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/?p=6767 Walter Lantz’s Woody Woodpecker will be hitting the big screen, in an updated “modernized” version of the character. Expect him to rap and ride a skateboard, Poochie style! Though it probably won’t be that bad. Maybe. Hopefully. Universal’s animation arm, Illumination, will be doing the animating (thus making it likely CGI.) They did the work on Despicable Me and The Lorax. John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky – two writers of Blades of Glory – are in talks to script. Hopefully this leads to a Chilly Willy film! The world needs more animated penguin films…
Woody Woodpecker
image via

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