Why stop with Oliver Twist? I want parkour everything! Parkour is the new asteroids hitting the Earth. Parkour Star Trek, Parkour Iron Man, Parkour Fast and the Furious, Parkour Parks and Recreations. Parkour it all!

via FSR

Even this cat is doing parkour. Or running to get a laser pointer. Same thing!

First up, remember Contagion, the 2011 Steven Soderbergh film where a disease spread and it was all sciencey and stuff? Sequel! Warner Bros got Scott Z. Burns, the writer of the original, to write the script for the new one. No word on if Soderbergh will return. (via It’s on the Grid)

Those of you who are fans of list-based films where the actor who played a major character has died in real life will be happy to know that soon there will be 10 More Things I Hate About You. The director of the original (and most of the tv series I never knew existed!) Gil Junger will be directing this new entry, and he’s gotten Hayley Atwell from Captain America. The real question is will Jacked Up Stone be in this sequel? Because the public will demand it!

Universal president Eddie Cunningham wants a Love Actually 2! The bland ensemble romantic comedies they’ve been putting out (Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Day) just steal it’s formula, anyway. So why not? Expect it to show up eventually with a bajillion stars. No one is linked to the project yet.

Don’t worry, there will be more sequels to more things that don’t need sequels soon!

Sequels? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Barbie Hsu is Million Dollar Crocodile! Looks like SyFy Channel is leaking again, and got some of their radioactive goo into China! And why is Million Dollar Crocodile always running? He’s like Forrest Gump during the time he was running around America for years, except he’s constantly eating while on the go. Guo Tao and Lam Suet also enjoy getting money to appear in films like this. And, yes, someone already bought the worldwide sales rights. Li Sheng Lin wrote and directed it. The plot:

Xiao Xing, a general little boy lives in little town, Mei Jia Wu, is his in grade four. He has a best friend named Amao, who is an eight-meters long crocodile. They get alone with each other, peacefully.
Many years, Amao has been living in a local crocodile farm ran by tough Bald Liu who caught Amao from Thailand. But this year, Bald Liu has to sell all the crocodiles cause the poor management. Unfortunately, the notorious tricky businessman Zhao Da Zui bought them all for developing a series crocodile meals. When the crocodiles are going to be killed by slaughters, Amao pulled apart the ropes angrily, and lead all crocodiles fighting for their lives and killed the chef and escaped.
This incident breaks the little town, Mei Jia Wu’s quiet and easy life. Xiao Xing and his father Da Wei Wang were all involved.

I like the concept of a juggernaut crocodile much better than that plot…
via @TheGoldenRock

The heck was this doing on Google Image Search? It's on here now, cause I can't afford a Million Dollar Crocodile. This is Dollar Menu Crocodile!

He gets introduced to parkour by a sexy stranger after he crashes his bike.

Sexy parkour! I hope the Punisher makes a cameo and remembers to bring his rocket launcher. You know Tracers will be good because it will build on all the action movie breakthroughs Lautner brought to Abduction.

Park Whore? I'm in!

PLOT:In the year 2233, a dark energy is emanating from the forests of Magic Valley bringing into our world dark creatures and evil monsters. Meanwhile the GRIMM Corporation nearly has control of the U.S Government and The Planetary Alliance and seems to be ignoring and maybe even enabling the growing darkness. It’s up to one lone R.E.D.D. Agent to defy Grimm forces and fight her way through, Vampires, Werewolves, and Zombies, and get to the center of the forest to confront “The Grandmother”, before evil consumes the planet.

Sure, fairy tale stuff is all the rage, but this hypes it up to a crazy level. And though zombies are overdone, the real monsters here look to be the werewolves, especially the werewolf with a laser eye. You know, I’ve got laser eyes, and I know what you’re thinking. It comes as no surprise, Christmas lights are blinking…

Here is the pitch video:

There are bunch more videos at the Kickstarter

Here is a pack of links if you want more info:
http://reddmovie.com
http://www.facebook.com/reddactionhorrormovie
http://twitter.com/reddmovie
http://about.me/patrickprejusa

And the Kickstarter link!

CAST:

April Crum is REDD
Chris Plouffe is SMITH
Amanda Elizabeth is BETH
Eve Butler is RICK
Jennifer Russoli is CARTER
Alethea Delmage is SNOW
Nick Karner is SIMON WELLER
Richard Gaither is CHAPEL
Brooke Hamrick is ANNIE
Danielle Motley is ELIZABETH GRIMM
Ron Rice is DARYL

Written, Directed, Produced, Edited, and Scored by

PATRICK A. PREJUSA

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have announced their next film will be…The Starving Games! Yes, they’re parodying The Hunger Games. And also Avengers, Harry Potter, and Sherlock Holmes. Because they hate us. Seltzberg will kill us all…

No word on if this is the continuation of their 3D flick, or if that one is still on the backburner…

via

That's it, goodbye, people!

Norman Bridwell’s Clifford the Big Red Dog books first were published in 1963, and were previously a well-loved PBS series featuring the voice of John Ritter.

via HR

Clifford the Big Red Dog makes deals to get the DREAM Act passed before the Senate figures out it's on a rider to a bill celebrating Apple Pie...

June 9th brings us Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Check out your Snookies and J-WOWs vs ocean death, and pray that the Jersey Shore loses big time. Only sharks can save America from Snooki’s baby! Jack Scalia and Paul Sorvino star, while the Jersey characters have names like TC “The Complication”, BJ, J-Moni, and Nooki. John Shepphird (Chupacabra Terror) directs.

Next week on June 16th is Piranhaconda – Jim Wynorski’s new flick about the Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! Michael Madsen and Rachel Hunter star, and the title alone is worth a view! The trailer recently popped up.

June 23rd gives us Arachnoquake – the awesomely titled film where and earthquake causes giant albino spiders to get unleashed upon the Earth to attack Tracey Gold, Ethan Phillips, Bug Hall, and Edward Furlong.

Griff Furst directs, he’s proven he can direct a fun SyFy flick (and be fun as well when he shows up in one of his dad’s films)

I couldn’t find a trailer, so here’s an interview with Furst and some of the cast:

And finally June 30th gives us Bigfoot, which is notable because Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams are following the Tiffany/Debbie Gibson route and teaming up for a SyFy film where they play rivals! Sherilyn Fenn, Howard Hesseman, and Alice Cooper also star.

Needless to say, the DVRs are being set as we speak to make June the SyFyest month of them all!

Do you like pornography?

Do you like horror movies?

Do you like found footage horror movies?

Do you like found footage horror movies with pornography?

Do you like found footage Christian horror movies with an evil box of woods pornography?

Then you will love HARMLESS! The movie about evil porn and how it is evil. Check out the trailer, drop a couple thousands in funding, and we’re off at the races! Rich Praytor is the creator.

Harmless is a feature film shot in the popular found footage style. It’s the story about a husband and father and his battle with a box of porn that is found in the closet. Once opened, the box of porn begins to torment the family, much like a poltergeist. It’s sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family. Actual home movies and interviews tell the story of the terror the family faces when a box of pornography is opened and something is unleashed.

Official Site
Kickstarter

Only 14 days to go, people!

Actual picture of Van Helsing audience reactions...

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA, May 1, 2011—Universal Pictures today announced the studio has signed a two-year first-look production deal with one of the leading writing/producing teams in the entertainment industry, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, and their K/O Paper Products banner. The duo will kick off their new relationship with Universal by reimagining titles from the studio’s library including Van Helsing and The Mummy. The announcement was made by Universal Pictures Chairman, Adam Fogelson and Co-Chairman, Donna Langley.

Kurtzman and Orci have collaborated with some of the industry’s top creative minds including J.J. Abrams, with whom they wrote the third installment of Mission: Impossible, which grossed nearly $400 million at the worldwide box office. In 2007, they wrote Transformers and went on to write Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in 2009. Together, those films grossed more than $1.5 billion worldwide. More recently, the pair wrote and executive produced 2009’s Star Trek, which grossed more than $385 million worldwide. Accompanying their impressive film resume, Kurtzman and Orci have found tremendous success in television, having created the series Fringe, writing/producing Alias and in 2010, producing the reboot of Hawaii Five-O. They also currently executive produce the highest rated show on Hasbro’s The Hub, Transformers Prime.

“Alex and Roberto are extraordinarily talented writers and producers who know the value of a great story in building successful tentpole films,” Fogelson and Langley said in a joint statement. “They have been a major part of some of Hollywood’s biggest movies and television shows in recent history, and we’re eager to have them build on that success at Universal.”

“We’re thrilled to call Universal Pictures our home,” said Kurtzman and Orci. “From the moment we sat down with Adam, Donna, Peter, Jeff and the entire Uni team, there was an instant flow of inspired ideas. They really understand the importance of building a strong creative team and giving our shared projects their full support. We’re proud to start making movies that will live as part of Universal’s enduring legacy.”

Kurtzman and Orci’s K/O Paper Products will develop and produce a modern reimagining of Universal library titles including The Mummy, alongside producer Sean Daniel and writer Jon Spaihts. The pair will also develop and produce Universal’s reimagined Van Helsing, with Tom Cruise attached to star in and produce the film.

Kurtzman and Orci’s upcoming projects include writing Sony’s next installment of The Amazing Spider-Man; producing Now You See Me, for Lionsgate Summit, set for release in March 2013; and producing Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game, also for Lionsgate Summit. Kurtzman and Orci wrote and produced People Like Us, which marks Kurtzman’s directorial debut and is scheduled to be released in June 2012, and wrote and produced the second installment of Star Trek, set for release in 2013. The pair most recently rewrote All You Need Is Kill for Warner Bros., with Tom Cruise attached to star, Doug Liman to direct and Erwin Stoff to produce.

Kurtzman, Orci and the rest of their K/O Paper Products team, including President Bobby Cohen, will be housed on the Universal lot. Former assistants Ben Kim and Kim Cavyan will come aboard as creative executives. Kurtzman and Orci are represented by CAA and attorneys Michael Gendler and Kevin Kelly of Gendler & Kelly, APC.

Van Helsing pic from here