I don’t remember ever reading Where the Wild Things Are [affiliate link] when I was little but it’s one of those books you’re supposed to read so I bought it for Cara.

I like the book but listening to Christopher Walken read it makes me love it.

When you write, you just DO IT. You write. You try to block everything out and do it. At least, you hope to do it. Not the sessay stuff. The writing!

Eventually, with all this writing stuff, you’ll end up with nothing and you’ll be stuck and you’ll be wandering around the interwebs and wondering where you should go when where you should probably go is to bed. But, you’ll keep wandering around and, hopefully, you’ll end up on K.M. Weiland’s YouTube channel. Right now she only has 440 subscribers and she deserves so many more that that.

More days than not, I get emails from YouTube letting me know that K.M. Weiland had uploaded a new video. Every. Single. Time. I watch the video.

Why?

Because the videos are short and they hit me where they need to hit me.

Every one of the videos addresses some issue I’ve been dealing with and, while the video doesn’t SOLVE the issues, it makes me think.

Short post from a fangirl to get the word out.

If you’re looking for a “writer” YouTube channel, then K.M Weiland’s is where you need to subscribe.

What?

What?!

If I want to post another trailer for another book-turned-movie, I can. Because I might be posting them on the same night. I might be, allegedly, not writing what I should be writing.

This is the internet and it is magic.

Maybe I’m more receptive to the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter trailer because I liked the book more than I dug The Host? I’ll take that bet. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a better book and the trailer has better splosions.

A girl can’t get too many splosions.

Last night, as I was trolling around YouTube so I didn’t have to work on my book, I came across the teaser trailer for The Host.

I read The Host just after it came out as I was coming down from my Twilight high.

I didn’t hate the book. I didn’t love the book and in order to give it its just deserts, I should go back and read the book again. However, the point of this isn’t how I felt about the book but that the movie is coming in 2013 and the first teaser has been released.

I’m less than underwhelmed.

From The Hunger Games wiki

If you haven’t read any of these books then you’re rolling your eyes at me right now and I don’t blame you. You can get The Hunger Games Trilogy [I get a few cents if you buy via this link.]–hardcover–on Amazon for $30 right now, by the way. Read the books and you’ll get why they made a movie out of the first one…I just went off again for fifteen minutes to check if all three books will be made into movies. I never found out since I realized I wasn’t writing this post.

I’m pretty sure I need to go take my Strattera.

THE POINT IS YOU NEED TO READ THESE BOOKS.

Yes. All caps were necessary. I was afraid I would forget if I didn’t get it out. I’m better now.

Yeah, The Hunger Games is YA and I know a lot of adults are put off by that–I hid one of the Twilight books under some diapers so other Target patrons wouldn’t see a grown-ass woman buying a kid’s book. Hunger Games aren’t some less sparkly, bloodier, Twilight series. Don’t get me wrong here. I enjoyed the Twilight books and I’ve read them several times. Judge me if you must.

I’m trying to make another point here and am finding there’s no point in continuing this other than to say: The Hunger Games beats Twilight.

This took entirely too much time to write.

Image | Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

This past year has been full of ups and downs but aren’t they all?

I’m pretty shocked I’ve ended up with this many posts I want to rehash.

At any rate, let’s just get to the posts, shall we?

My Favorite Posts on Taste Like Crazy from 2011

1. My Left Boob – My left boob decided to produce blood. Which isn’t normal in any country…or boob…or whatever.
2. Get ‘em Checked – I made this because of #1. I’m pretty proud of it.
3. Show the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and Keep Going – Sometimes life is roses and sometimes life really, really sucks. Hiding the suck doesn’t help anyone.
4. The Belly Rub of Vulnerability – Sometimes going to vulnerable is where we have to go before we can be…free.
5. Four Pieces of One Heart - “That’s why the heart has four chambers; everyone gets one piece.”
6. KmartGamer: Take Me To E3 with You! – I entered a contest to go to E3 with Kmart. And then I crossed my fingers.
7. I Can Be Your Rock – I seem to excel at being a wimp. And then my husband needed me to be strong.
8. Do We Pay Too Much Attention To Our Kids? – How much attention is too much when it comes to our kids?
9. Sophie, The Goat Pit Bull, Ate Two Pounds of Homemade Caramel – I really like this one because I’m petty.
10. Ollie. A Bead. The Emergency Room. – As the title implies, Ollie put a bead in his ear. It was LOADS of fun.
11. I’m Going To E3 Cause I’m a Winner – Apparently crossing fingers helps you win contests to E3 since I won. WOOT!
12. We’re Evacuees Because of the Alabama Tornadoes – There were lots and lots of tornadoes and it was very scary. That doesn’t even begin to describe it.
13. Step By Step Easy Sun Dried Tomatoes Recipe – Super easy way to make “sun dried tomatoes.”
14. Six Good Things I Love. Six Bad Things I Hate. All A Part of Me – Good and bad…whatever. It’s just the way it is, right?
15. Self-Doubt and Green Haired Gilbert – When you write long enough–read that as when you’ve written for like a minute or so–you’ll encounter Gilbert. But Gilbert will probably be named something else. Just read the post. You’ll understand afterwards.
16. Video of Me At E3 – I include this because Cara said I have to include it. And who am I to argue with a five year old?
17. Father’s Day Comedic Gold: Hooker or a Maid? – It was funny at the time. In fact, it’s still funny.
18. Homemade Playdough Recipe – Playdough gets old and drys up and that costs money since you have to buy more. Solution? Make your own.
19. Falling – I wrote this a long time ago but I still love it even if Heather thinks it reeks of angst. Which, I guess it does.
20. I Spank My Kids – And then she wrote that.
21. Muse vs Plotting: Who Wins in a Cage Fight? – There’s the Muse and there’s plotting. Which is best? Which wins?
22. Sparkly Crotch and a Dance Fight – I’m not sure what’s going on either but it’s pretty awesome.
23. Suicide: The One Who is Fighting the Battle with Himself. – “Be a thorn in their side.”
24. The Night I Thought Tucker was Dead – I thought he was dead but he wasn’t. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared as hell at the time.
25. The Military: They’re Just Doing Their Jobs But Don’t Forget Them – I come from a long line of military and Tucker is Navy. I have some thoughts on this whole military thing.
26. Yesterday At Gymnastics or When Ollie Melts Down and Moms Are Cool As Hell – Who knew it only took a massive toddler meltdown to make one realize how cool people can be?
27. Where Do I Go From Here? – I still don’t have an answer for this one but that doesn’t mean this isn’t a good post.

Image | Jimee, Jackie, Tom & Asha

He thinks old tech is old tech and that our kids aren’t missing anything by having not been exposed to ancient things like tapes, Playstations and printed dictionaries.

I hold that it’s a sad day indeed when Cara asks what cassette tapes are and then gazes in awe at Mom’s old wedding album and it wasn’t just because Mom was so young.

Then there’s the deal with the books.

I’ve always been a reader and I’m not quite sure how many paperbacks I currently have in my possession. And books take up a lot of space. Just ask Tucker if you don’t believe me. In fact, he’s spent the past several hours stuffing my books into our bookshelf. If Tucker had his way, all of those books would be digital and we wouldn’t have a book shelf.

But I can’t give up my books. Memories are attached to each and every one of those books. There’s a reason why it was always a bad idea for my Books manager to assign me to alphabetize the Children’s Section when I worked at the Hasting’s.

The feel and the smell of old books just does it for me. If you “get” it then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I love the old but I also love the new…

So maybe it isn’t so much that Tucker and I have reached an impasse as me, myself and I have reached an impasse?

I’m not afraid of tech. I embrace it. We pay the high price of being early adopters. Technology can be a fabulous thing. I own a plethora of electronic books; they fit great on my phone. But every time I buy a book on Amazon and download it to my phone, I feel like I’m cheating.

The King is dead. Long live the King?

What side do you come down on? Leave me a comment cause I can’t tell if I’m just being a sentimental oaf or if Tucker’s just stupid…or both…

Heh.

I’ve been trying to figure out why it’s taken me so long to write a follow-up post to the “Where Do I Go From Here?” post and I’ve come to a couple of conclusions.

First and foremost is the fact that I knew I needed to respond to your comments and I just didn’t have it in me. You took the time to leave thoughtful comments the idea of doing the same made me tired. Understand I’m touched by the comments and though it’s cliché, it was me and not you.

There’s also the little matter of my desire to play Skyrim overwhelming my desire to write about…anything. Think of it as a Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs applied to modern digital life or some such.

I’m thinking I just needed a bit of a recharge.

I needed to step away from the internet rat race and just chill. If you follow me on Twitter or circle me on Google Plus then you know I didn’t go totally off the grid. In fact, I was more active on those two sites than I’ve been in a long time; something about those microemotional transactions was more appealing and manageable.

The kids are still in Arkansas–we left them to spend time with grandparents–and at this moment, as I listen to Tucker play Mass Effect, my only concern is if I want to expend the effort required to apply makeup before we go to Walmart. I’m thinking probably not.

I’m not saying I’m coming back to write every day or even every other day. That tiny amount of pressure seems too much and as Tucker tells me, I don’t have to blog. The world won’t end if I quit the internet for a while. And, hell, there’s more to the world than the computer. Balance has always been a problem of mine and this is just another manifestation of that.

I’m also not into doing the whole “New Year’s Resolution” thing but pushing against some comfort lines isn’t a bad thing and that’s what I’m planning on doing this coming year and in some ways, it goes along with me striking some kind of balance. I don’t know how many changes I can take on and actually succeed so I’m going with two: gym and not being a shut-in.

The gym part’s being taken care of by, well, joining a gym. There. That was easy. The hard part? Actually getting off my ass and going to the gym. Being that it’s a 24 hour jobber, my chances of coming up with a valid excuse has been reduced greatly.

The hermit shut-in part is a bit harder. And by “harder” I mean it’s more uncomfortable. I’d rather go to the gym every single day than have to meet new people. Really. New people are scary.

Last year at Blissdom I nudged the new people comfort line with my toe when I agreed to do a “Wisdom Workshop.” That required me to talk to new people but only for a short amount of time and after that I could hide if I wanted to hide. THIS year I’m a Community Leader at Blissdom. And I just threw up in my mouth a little.

It’s my job to keep a group of first-time Blissdom attendees from sobbing in the bathroom because they’re scared and feel alone. Not that I can identify with that at all. It wasn’t Blissdom and I wasn’t sobbing. That’s all I’ll say on that topic. This is me taking the new people comfort line and giving it a massive shove. I thinking part of my brain knows I can do this and that everything will be roses. The triune/reptilian part of my brain wants me to run away. Lizards are silly creatures so I’m going to try and ignore that brain segment.

I leave you with three posts: “The Belly Rub of Vulnerability,” “Let’s Be Nice” and “My Basket.”

See ya when I see ya.

Image | winterofdiscontent

The whole thing started with me talking to Heather about something or other on Skype which led me to this post about awesome stuffed pork chops which then led me to this post about not cleaning up enough–shocker!–which then led me to this post about self-doubt and writing and all the fun stuff that comes with that.^[1]

Remembering the video from that last post made me remember a conversation Tucker and I had a couple of nights ago when we were watching The Middle or Modern Family. Both are shows we can identify with on some level and both have solid writing. We were laughing through a commercial and talking about the last lines that we loved…we were those annoying people who recite the lines and then cackle about them.

That right there? That is power.

Writing something so awesome that you inspire two random people to talk about what you wrote and to replay it a couple of times and to talk about it. And to laugh. Lots of laughs. And it doesn’t have to be laughter. It can be tears. Tears are as powerful. Or anger. Getting someone really pissed off is almost as powerful.

Probably the only people who ever think of writers as powerful are writers themselves.

We’re like power ninjas!

Or something.

The point is that words really do have power and the whole “sticks and stones” thing is utter crap–anyone who’s been teased can tell you that. The goal of a writer is to harness all that power and mold it into the shape the writer has envisioned.

Pretty simple, huh?

1. ^[1] If you haven’t clicked on any of the pictures below the posts where it says, “You’ll like these too:” then I suggest you start. That’s how I found these. ↩

I have entered no man’s land with regards to where I stand in the blogging world.

And that’s awesome when you’re just blogging cause you want to write about what’s going on with your life and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

BUT, when you’re wanting to gain some respect in MULTIPLE areas, it’s hard to do so with one blog.

Jack of all trades, master of none. That’s me.

Focus? What’s that?

I can remember telling my father, as we drove to the next bean field that needed to be checked, that I was a hell of a catch.

I was 14.

I knew about horses and horse breeding and Quarter Horse bloodlines. I had “soft hands” and had broken my first horse–I still have her. She lives at Tucker’s parents’ house. She was born in ’89.–when I was nine. I knew about crop rotation and pesticides and herbicides. I had been driving since I was 11. I could cook like a hell of a housewife. I could read people like The Mentalist.

I was a hell of a catch.

Now I’m almost 30–shot yo mouth!!!–and I can do all of those things and I’m damn savvy at Twitter and Google + and I can do websites–I did Taste Like Crazy and Sims 3 Gamer…among others–if someone wants to pay me. I know about monetization and actually make money with my sites. I know tech and I know gaming. I won a spot with KmartGamer to get an everything included trip to E3. I write for Kmart Gamer now. I’m a damn good writer. No. Really. I’m working on a book and it doesn’t suck. Ask, Crissy. She’s read some of the rough chapters. I know about spirits/booze from writing at b5Media. I know about Sim 3 and have a site dedicated to the subject.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want a million sites which is why I started my “baby feeds.” I’ve gotten some subscriptions to the various feeds–you can subscribe by looking above the header–and I like the idea that I’ve given people the option to read what they’re interested in reading. I like the fact that I can write about tech one day and booze the next and maybe I can publish a story and if you’re only interested in Mental Health then that’s all you read. I write about my/our life. I suppose I could be classified as a “mommy blogger” if you only read my “Life” feed.

I know I don’t write as honestly as I did when I first started Taste Like Crazy–then it was called Tastes Like Crazy but I couldn’t buy Tastes Like Crazy since someone was camping on my URL. I sensor myself more now. Can you believe it?! Me. Censoring myself. Heh.

Some “brands” are put off by my cussing–I write like I talk and think. Some don’t know what hole I fill–That sounds so dirty.

You can’t please everyone but I feel like I’m not pleasing anyone.

Least of all myself.

Maybe I’m supposed to figure out where I fit and go from there? But do I pick one and ignore everything else?

I had hoped all of this rambling would help me focus on something I’m passionate about. I had hoped I could pare down to what makes me me. Result?

I’m more confused than when I started.

What do I want?

I want to contribute to our monthly income. I want to not feel like a parasite. I want to prove that I am more than “just a mom.” I want my kids to still have their mom and I want to do a damn good job with them and I haven’t done a BAD job. Can one balance doing a damn good job with their kids and finding success with what they want to do.

What if they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up?