Tasteful Toasts

Improve Your Impromptu Storytelling with the Three Cs

2014-05-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

You are surrounded by inspirations and life lessons and may not even know it. For example I recently learned three key concepts to improve my impromptu storytelling when Craig, my fiction-writing friend, told me about his Bluetooth bedtime stories.

Craig can be in his car or traveling afar when he calls his three and a half year old grandson Gavin for his nightly bedtime story (pictured above). These ten-minute tales are told over the cell phone and contain the three Cs: chapters, conflict, and cues.

Add More Chapters
Children’s books have a beginning, middle, and an end, but you can continue an existing story and add the next chapter or be creative and jump to the middle of the story and begin a new chapter. The setup can be super short, “Superhero Sam is vacationing in Spain when he hears a cry for help…” and shazam! you’re in the middle of your story.

Or you can pick a story, any story. In Craig’s case he asks, “What would you like to hear tonight Gavin?” The agenda ranges from "tell me about jellyfish" to "tell me about a little boy who got hurt and his Mommy saved him." Craig treats these as a Toastmaster's "Table Topics," in which the speaker is challenged to give an impromptu talk about a spontaneously assigned subject. With a little practice you’ll develop your ability to organize your thoughts quickly and respond to the request.

Add More Conflict
One of the best parts of a story is when something is wrong – also known as conflict. Why? Because you might know how you’d resolve the sticky situation, but you’ll be captivated by how and what the hero will do to be triumphant.

So pick a problem, any problem. Craig concurs. “If I fail to provide enough conflict for his taste Gavin will say, ‘...but then there was a problem...’, and he'll introduce a volcano, or a pillow monster, or a ghost or ‘a guy throwing socks.’" Then Craig must work these conflict elements into the tale, which keeps him on task telling high quality stories. “Gavin's assignments are unpredictable and sometimes tough, which challenges me to create a small work of fiction on the spot.”

Add More Cues
To keep everyone involved on their tall tale toes, asking for input is ideal. These cues incorporate a higher level of interactivity and satisfaction. Your listener(s) can contribute sound effects and descriptions, too!

• "What sound did the sawfish make when it called to you from the ocean?"
• "And what do you think he found behind that closed door?"
• "Tell me, Gavin--what did that monster look like?"

I send my thanks and gratitude to Craig for sharing a few personal tidbits and the three key C concepts: chapters, conflict and cues. It has improved my impromptu storytelling and I hope it helps you too.

Craig Strickland is a writer with more than 25 years experience who’s credits include two nationally distributed books (Scary Stories For Sleepovers #8 and Scary Stories From 1313 Wicked Way) and dozens of short stories in published in anthologies including, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Noir, Portents, Terminal Fright, Blood Review, Bronte Street, Air Fish, October Dreams acclaimed Canadian publication On Spec.

Once Upon a Skype

2014-04-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

A tornado of technology has turned storytelling, for business and pleasure, towards webinars, seminars, and Skype. Whether you’re training sales people in Pennsylvania or sharing a bedtime story with kids in California, you need to know how to best communicate and engage your audience across a computer or tablet screen.

My wife’s cousin Matthew, for example, emailed us a picture of his two boys, Cory and Derek, completely captivated by his laptop, which displayed their grandmother 700 miles away reading to them from her vast collection of children’s books.

Below are three tips on how you, too, can earn an audience’s rapt attention while broadcasting on the internet.

Act it OutWhen you tell a story in person you’re animated and your expressions are full of emotion. Do the same thing during your face-to-face video call.

You may miss a smile or a laugh on the receiving end due to camera, microphone, or speaker positions, but rest assured those normal visual and audio cues are still there. Continue on as if your audience was in the same room and you will come across professional and confident.

Add AtmosphereShow an image to illustrate your point or play music in the background to add more atmosphere. If you’re telling a ghost story you can dim the lights, wear a cape with a hood, or even play spooky soundtracks while you talk.

Try speaking in character voices, or use a cowboy hat and a Southern drawl to bring the Wild West to life. Subtle cues like these enhance the listening and viewing experience of a bedtime or adventure story.

Ask for HelpSkype is essentially interactive TV so get your audience involved. Show the book and ask open-ended questions about the pictures on the page, take turns reading sentences or discuss the moral of the story.

A key question to ask is, “What did you like most about today’s story?” and you’ll have immediate intel on what worked well. In a short order you’ll master the art of portable vid screen storytelling.

There are many benefits beyond family bonding time and beams of enthusiasm from your children when you call out, “It’s Skypetime!”

Create positive memories for grandparents, parents, and children.
Entertain children while parents do exciting things like washing the dishes.
Encourages early bedtime allowing guilt free adult conversations with parents.

Cousin Matthew sums it up nicely: “Just try and name an app that will answer your questions, move the picture in closer on demand, does characters voices, and will get a second book all upon request?! Skypetime gives our kids interaction on their terms in their way with a nice visual element and our grandparents give a gift that will last longer than any care package.”

Bonus Recommendation: Record Your Calls*Imagine having bedtime stories being read to your kids by your parents, grandparents, or even great grandparents. You can create future family comfort and blessed keepsakes.

*Legally you’ll need to inform participants the call is being recorded.

What Skypetime storytelling tips can you share?

Kiss Me, I Think I'm Irish

2014-03-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

Last year Ireland’s population was 6.4 million and 42 million United States residents claim Irish ancestry (thank you Wikipedia). In the big scheme of things, I suspect I’m about 2% Irish affording me a peck on the cheek and at least one green beer this St. Patrick’s Day.
While there are hundreds of Irish toasts to raise your mug to, my years of patrolling pubs revealed rainbows of tall tales and a pot leprechaun limericks, riddles and jokes. Below are some choice clean green comedy to share that might get you a free pint from Shamus:

Irish Toasts

May the roof above us never fall in,
and may we friends beneath it never fall out.

You’re my best friend and like a four leaf clover:
hard to find and lucky to have.

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.

Leprechaun Limericks

There once was a young man named Sean,
Whose wish came from a sly leprechaun,
To be surrounded by dough,
Was what he wanted, so,
In six months he was born as a fawn.

There once was on leprechaun
Who lived in a stump on my lawn
He had hoarded much gold
Hidden safely, I’m told
For he feared that someday it’d be gone

Irish Proverbs

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures.

Your feet will take you where you heart is

What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.

You'll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.

Irish Jokes

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.
The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
"Oh my!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I get to keep the money?"

Two Irishmen were getting ready to go on a camping trip.
First one said, "I'm taking a gallon of whiskey just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?"
"Rattlesnakes."

An Englishman walks into a pub and says, “I’ve got some great Irish jokes.”
“Before you start,” said the big bloke in the corner, “You need to know I’m Irish.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell them slowly.

An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot, "Lord," he prayed," I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday." Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said, "Never mind, I found one."

“How far is it to the next village?” asked the American tourist.
“It’s about seven miles,” guessed the leprechaun, “But it’s only five if you run!”

Bonus:
You can download and print this two-side sheet of Tomfoolery (pdf 691 kb) to aide your memory.

Your Turn: What’s your favorite Irish toast, leprechaun limerick, riddle or joke?

Achieve more with a Magic Square

2014-02-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

I remember laughing in class after hearing the classic question: “What would you do if you could not fail?” I thought, That’s silly, at some point in time everyone fails. I can learn from my and other people’s mistakes, so failing can be transformed into a good thing. But I played the instructor’s game and quickly realized the exercise was designed to motivate me beyond my fear of failure and to act. While his challenging question jumpstarted my brain into action, I found more freedom and success from a difference workshop that featured the concept of the magic square.

When I imagine my life is like a magic square, then every direction I travel is in the right path. Whether I go up, down, left, right, diagonal, or fly to the four corners, I will reach the right destination. Try it. Add any four numbers from the magic square – up, down, left, right, diagonal or the four corners – and see what you get.

To me, this means I’m always in the right place at the right time with the right number to make magical things happen. If I work hard towards any of my 2014 New Year’s resolutions and give 501 percent then I have five different winning solutions.

I cannot fail.

True, sometimes it might take me longer to realize the right path. I might focus on the obvious left/right, up/down, and diagonal options and overlook the less obvious –like the four bottom right or four center squares. Success often comes from the most unlikely places.

The magic square method proves we are not alone. We are part of an intelligent solution –a piece of the puzzle within the bigger picture. In a word: teamwork. As Michael Jordan said, “Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.”

To offer a real-world example, when we celebrate life’s events, (We Bid You Good Cheer) the recipient(s), the party, the audience and quite possibly a tasteful toast can be parts of your magic square. The words said in loving tribute, a.k.a. the toast, is your contribution to the winning combination and will help enhance the evening’s festivities moving us along the right path.

Your turn: How can the lesson of the magic square help you?

Three Writes and Makes You a Winner

2014-01-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

Becoming a self-motivated dynamo is easy as one, two, three and generates three glorious benefits: clarity, confidence and charisma. We’ll do this together. Get a blank piece of paper and pen – I know, so “old school” – but this allows you to read and write as we go step by step.

1. Write down your goals.
Merchandising mogul J.C. Penny said, “Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you a man who will make history. Give me a man without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk.” Let’s make your history. Get your goals out of your head and on paper so you can see and read what you want. This gives you immediate focus and clarity.

2. Write down specific goals.
Look at your list and edit each line to be specific. The more detailed you are the better. Here are a couple of examples of how to modify your list.

Good: I want to lose weight.
Better: I will lose 12 pounds.

Good: I want to save money.
Better: I will save $140.

Good: I want to give a tasteful toast.
Better: I will say a tasteful toast for Bob’s birthday.

E.B. White, American author best known for English language style guide, The Elements of Style, and Charlotte’s Web said, “I rewrite a good deal to make it clear.” With minor practice you’ll skip step two and get-it-all-done in step number one, which reinforces clarity and builds your confidence.

3. Write down due dates.
“Goals are dreams with deadlines,” is a quote from Think and Grow Rich author Napoleon Hill. Adding a simple target due date feeds your instinctual need to achieve and succeed.

Better: I will lose 12 pounds.
Best: I will lose 12 pounds by March 15^th (1 pound a week).

Better: I will save $140.
Best: I will save $140 a month ($5 a day).

Better: I will say a tasteful toast for Bob’s birthday.
Best: I will say a tasteful toast for Bob’s birthday on July 20^th.

Review your list and prioritize based upon the earliest due date. Look at item number one and write down the first three actions you need to take in order to complete this goal, then do items one, two and three.

Clarity and confidence are intangible feelings that grow out of achievement, which translate into charisma that will manifest in the way you walk and talk as you complete each step in reaching your ultimate goal.

Follow the above write steps and you’ll be in the right place at the right time and be a winner!

Related Articles:
Pick One and Get It Done
Find Your Focus and Win Your Game
New Year’s Nuptials

Your turn: What goal are you going to focus on and follow through to completion?

Hearty Holiday Humor

2013-12-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

I admire and follow the philosophy of Jim Henson, the creator of the Muppets, which is, “There can be inspiration and fun in everything around us.” That’s why at every holiday party I’m prepared with a few family friendly riddles.

Between Santa, snowmen, and sugar cookies there’s a lot of good clean comedic material to launch a laugh-fest. If Kermit the Frog can avoid hazardous humor then you can too.

Yes, this type of humor might cause eyes to roll due to silly puns but I’ll bet a few candy canes you’ll repeat some of these lines at your office or home in the next few days.

Below are my hearty holiday humor lines that can be used in any presentation.

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted snowflakes.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.

What kind of music do elves like best?
“Wrap” music!

Why are elves so depressed?
Because they have low elf esteem.

What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

Why does Santa like to work in his garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

Remember the four stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3. You become Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus

Six Ways to Win the Name Game

2013-11-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

I used to feel embarrassed and socially inept when I forgot people’s names until I learned that 90 percent of healthy adults forget names. Yay, I’m normal. But as a magician and frequent public speaker I can meet up to two hundred people in a week and want to greet them by name when we meet again. In my quest to get better at this, here’s what I’ve learned.

Memory expert Harry Lorayne (also a master magician) is the world's foremost memory-training specialist and the author of The Memory Book, which topped the New York Times bestseller list for more than 50 weeks.

Lorayne’s memory training method “has worked for literally millions of people all over the world for decades!” says Harry. Prominent people like New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, Secretary of State Colin Powell, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Alan Alda, Mel Brooks and many others his system to acquire a better than photographic memory.

Here are six ways to win the name game.

Get it right the first time
I was guilty of this in the past. My problem was not paying proper attention and didn’t fully hear their name when I initially met them (storage). This made it difficult later to recall their name when I next saw them (retrieval).

Storage:
1. People love the sound of their own names, so don’t be embarrassed to ask them to repeat it or even spell it. You’ll actually flatter them if you do.
a. Look into their eyes when learning their name.
b. Silently repeat it three times to yourself.
c. Use their name at the beginning and end of the conversation.

2. Link their name to an occupation, hobby or distinguishing facial feature. Adding an alliteration to assist, so if you’re introduced to a Mrs. Trish Chambers with prominent cheekbones, think “Cheekbones Chambers” or if she’s a cute chef then remember “Trish the Dish."3. Most people are visual learners, which explains why we rarely forget faces but often forget names. When you associate names to ridiculous pictures, your mind’s eye permanently stores this information for immediate recall. For example, if you want to remember the name Barry Stein, visualize a tiny dog burying (Barry) a huge beer stein (Stein) in the ground.

Get Up to Speed
As you get up to speed with proper storage techniques you might occasionally forget a name. So how do you ask a person’s forgotten name without offending them? Here are three ways of asking.

Retrieval:
4. Tactful: “Can you remind me of your name?”
5. Funny: “I’ve drawn a blank – early senior moment – your name is…?”
6. Clever: “You look like my cousin Amy, but you’re not her. Your name is…?”

You’ll see immediate results employing any one of the three storage techniques and the three retrievals are polite and appropriate in any setting. Train your brain and form better habits for remembering names and you’ll win the name game.

*Bonus* Party Time Tips
Whenever possible take the lead and offer your name first and the guest will reciprocate. Here are a few opening lines:

- “Hi, I’m Michael, Barbara’s husband.”
- “Why don’t you introduce yourself to Pam?”
- “Have you met my brother, Steve?”

Your turn: What memory tips and tricks do you use?

Birds of a Feather Joke Together

2013-10-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

With nearly 10,000 people following my monthly blog, I’m frequently asked to speak and present at various events. Many of the workshops, seminars and evening engagements include a “winner, winner chicken dinner,” which tickled my funny bone.

At a June luncheon I told an impromptu chicken joke which produced a hearty chuckle. The next mealtime talk I told two chicken jokes and the laughs lingered. Forget American Idol, I was quickly becoming a rising star on Chicken Idol.

I’m happy to share some of my best chicken material. I prefer clean corny (punny) humor, which matches my hammy delivery style. Use these one-liners and my favorite chicken joke at your own risk.

- Scientists agree that a chicken crossing the road is called “poultry in motion.”

- My nephew confirmed his chicken cross the playground to get to the other slide.

- Beethoven disliked chickens because they keep chant, ''Bach, Bach, Bach.''

- You get the best chicken jokes from a yolk book.

- It is easy for baby chickens to talk because talk is cheep.

- Chickens will never get rich because they work for chicken feed.

- Mathematicians theorize chickens cross a Mobius strip to stay on the same side.

- Parents don’t want chicken farms near schools, so pupils don't hear fowl language.

A chicken walks into a library and says to the librarian "book, book, book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and it walks out.

Ten minutes later, the chicken walks in again and says "book, book, book," so once again, the librarian gives the chicken three books and it walks out.

Ten minutes later, the chicken comes back in and says "book, book, book," so the librarian gives the chicken three books and it walks out. But this time the librarian follows the chicken.

She follows the chicken across the street into the park and watches it hand the books one at a time to a frog. The frog put on his glasses and said, "readit, readit, readit."

Your Turn: What’s your favorite chicken joke?

Have the Courage to Compliment

2013-09-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Praise is powerful and under the right circumstances it can be transformational unlocking the human potential. You might think I’m exaggerating the effects of a simple and sincere compliment, but evolution and science is on my side.

Why You Don’t Compliment
Our brains are wired to pay more attention and give more weight to negative experiences as opposed to positive ones. Cavemen and women learned to stay safe from daily dangers (a.k.a. negative and life-threatening experiences) and have evolved to meet new social fears emerged. Here are the top three excuses for why you don’t compliment:

- I’m shy.
- They already know.
- I don’t know what to say.

I’ll override these objections in order: 1) Compliments are a low risk and offer high returns, which is an excellent way to overcome your shy social anxiety. 2) Most people love to hear how well they did and often rarely receive positive feedback. 3) You’ll learn how to give a compliment in less than a minute in a few paragraphs.

Benefits of Compliments
Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Compliments will boost the confidence, self-esteem and respect for both the giver and receiver. Simple positive feedback can truly be all that stands between someone being successful and giving up. Beyond the basic feel good factor, here are the top three reasons to praise:

- Encourage strugglers to achieve.

- Reinforce learning a new task.

- Strengthen relationships.

Offering an accomplished person a compliment can lead to self-improvement and finding a mentor. “I really enjoyed your presentation today. How did you get so comfortable with public speaking?”

How to Give a Compliment
Without delay, here are the steps to take in order to provide a heartfelt compliment:

1. Pick a person. It can be a coworker, mailman, secretary, boss, teacher, stranger, friend or enemy. Use their name as it conveys respect and because most people appreciate hearing their own name.

2. Find a feature. Characteristics can be concrete or intangible like a smile, sunny disposition or hairstyle. If your praise is vague, it can sound insincere so be specific.

3. State with sincerity. Only give a compliment when you actually mean it otherwise it will fall flat. Unearned praise is false flattery and can be perceived as manipulation. Honest comments ring the bell of truth and are valued above all.

Examples of compliments:
“Barbara, that’s a lovely blue coat you’re wearing.”
“Pamela, I admire your ability to provide insightful editing.”
“Steve, I appreciate you support more than Santa appreciates chimney grease.”

Courage to Compliment Challenge
I challenge you to compliment a different person every day this week.

1. Your Spouse or Significant Other

2. Family Member

3. Close Friend

4. Work Associate

5. Local Business

6. Restaurant Staffer

7. Complete Stranger

Make magic in less than a minute by giving a genuine compliment and create an everlasting smile.

Your Turn: What compliments have you recently shared?

Five Key Questions for Proper Praise

2013-08-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

[I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because I read the Past, Present and Future walked into a bar and it was tense.]

Last month I received a question, “Michael you tell us, ‘Remember the rhyme and you’ll do fine,’ but sometimes I want to say a little bit more at a celebration. How do I figure out what to say?” Always thrilled to receive requests – a.k.a. fan mail (in my mind) – I’m equally happy to share the five key questions for proper praise for an extended tasteful toast.

The most successful toasts are inspirational and praise the honoree’s meaningful contributions to their family or community. Discovering the right material to use is easy when you know what questions to ask.
Prepping for Proper Praise
1. What qualities make this person great or worthy of praise?
2. What is his/her source of power or inspiration?
3. What debt do we owe for his/her efforts?
4. What lessons can we learn from his/her actions?
5. What is his/her place in history?

It’s best to ask family, friends and co-workers these questions about the honoree days or weeks before the event to prepare my material. Here are some tips from award-winning journalist and editor of the book, Kauai Stories, Pamela Brown.

In-Person Interview Techniques*My initial inquiry, “What in-person interview techniques can you share?” was answered by a query of her own, “If you were being interviewed, would you rather feel like you’re chatting with a reporter or being peppered with questions?” Point taken, so have a list of what you want to talk about but flow the conversation as if you are talking with the person normally. Next?

Set the Scene: Meet in a quiet place where your interviewee is comfortable, like in their home. Ask that there be no distractions so you can both concentrate on your conversation.

Record Your Interview: Your conversation will flow more smoothly and you’ll be more present and will enjoy it more – and when you’re enjoying it more, the person you are interviewing will tell you more about memorable times.

Be Interested: The more you want to learn, the more your person will want to share. In my experience, as soon as I say, “I’ve got all the information I need,” and reach to turn off your recording device, your person will say something wonderful that you are going to want to capture, so keep recording until you are out the door.

Once you’ve transcribed your interview, you’ll want to extract one to three examples that best illustrate the rich character of the person you want to praise.

Keep to the winning Tasteful Toasts formula (be brief, be bold, be done) and you’ll have beautiful outcome.

*Kauai Stories is filled with rich personal stories culled using the above interview techniques. Special thank you to Pamela Brown for her expert contributions.

Your turn: What actions have you recently praised?

Make Magic with the Aloha Spirit

2013-07-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Image how wonderful your world would be if everyone shared the Aloha Spirit once a day. You’d feel giddy inside knowing you helped make someone’s day a little bit brighter with minimal effort. That’s real magic.

Hawaiians are known for their generosity, hospitality and warm sharing. This giving nature is grounded in the principle of reciprocity frequently labeled as the Aloha Spirit.* The following real life aloha excerpt is one of more than 50 colorful, touching and humorous personal stories from Kauai Stories – a finalist in 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards.

Aloha with Your Newspaper
By Lincoln Henry Gill

One Sunday morning I cut down a large stalk of bananas from one of our trees. It was huge, about 120 bananas, far more than we could eat ourselves or freeze to use later. I split the bananas into smaller bunches and placed them in a box where our driveway meets the street. I attached a sign to the box announcing they were “FREE!”

Throughout that day, I looked out my window and smiled as people drove by, helping themselves to bunches of bananas. I love how people on Kauai share their extra fruit. We are fortunate that our trees produce more than enough to give away. By the end of the day there were still a couple of bunches remaining. I left the box on the side of the road in case anyone coming home from the night shift of work wanted some.

The next morning, when I put my hand into our narrow, bright green plastic daily newspaper receptacle, I got a surprise. There was a package with a note. Inside the package I found six small loaves of freshly baked banana bread. The note read, “This is in appreciation for the bananas which you shared last night. Enjoy! Signed, your Garden Island newspaper carriers, Robert and Winona Romero.”

The banana bread was absolutely delicious, with walnuts and small bits of fresh coconut. With every bite I kept thinking, “How thoughtful of them.” The aloha spirit makes you want to pass it on.

This true story reminds me of a Hawaiian proverb:

Proverb: `A`ohe lokomaika`i i nele i ke pâna`i
Translation: No kind deed has ever lacked its reward.
Interpretation: Give back in equal measure or more, be it a gift or a smile.

*The literal meaning of aloha is “the presence of breath” or “the breath of life.” It comes from “Alo,” meaning presence, front and face, and “ha,” meaning breath. Aloha is a way of living and treating each other with love and respect. Its deep meaning starts by teaching ourselves to love our own beings first and afterwards to spread the love to others.

[Photo caption: Gardenia and note left with daily newspaper by The Garden Island newspaper carriers Robert and Winona Garcia days after they left freshly baked banana bread. Photo by Lincoln Henry Gill]

Your turn: What’s your favorite local Aloha Spirit story?

Defend Yourself from Doublespeak

2013-06-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

Last month my brother Steve and I went to see famed actor, comedian and magician Harry Anderson perform at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, Calif. You’ll remember Anderson from his American television sitcoms: an eight-year stint as jocular Judge Stone on Night Court or as con artist “Harry the Hat” on Cheers. A talented talker of doublespeak, Anderson’s performance prompted me to warn you of how silver-tongued speakers can scam you into buying something that seems to be a good deal but is truly bogus. The best defense against this trickery is to expose their secret language.

What is doublespeak?
Doublespeak is the name for language which makes the bad seem good, the negative appear positive, and the unpleasant attractive. It deliberately deceives, disguises, distorts, camouflages, misleads, inflates, circumvents, and obfuscates. Confused? A few examples will clear things up.

Politicians, publicists and the press are the kings and queens at spinning stories:

Airplanes don’t crash, they have “uncontrolled contact with the ground.”
You’re not unconscious during surgery, you’re just in a “non-decision-making state.”
Hospitals don’t have people that die, they have “negative patient care outcomes.”

Job seekers write creative career titles on resumes:

Janitors are “Custodial Engineers.”
Car mechanics are “Automotive Internists.”
Elevator operators are “members of the Vertical Transportation Corps.”

Defrauders escape through legal loopholes by emphasizing the first and last key words:

They buy and sell “solid fools gold.”
They use the best “genuine faux leather.”
They only import “real counterfeit diamonds.”

None of these people are lying to your face: they are telling you the truth with verbose verbiage to communicate a specific message.

Defend yourself from doublespeak by learning to listen to all the words that tumble and mumble out of mouths. Be mindful and study the incoming message instead of just mentally “sitting back” and believing all you hear.

Your turn: What doublespeak terms have you heard?

3 Ways to Maintain Your Motivation

2013-05-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

I’m envious and occasionally jealous of people who have a single-minded focus and boundless energy towards their personal and professional projects. How do they find the time to get it all done? Are they eating special super-foods? Can I learn to be just as successful? I discovered all high achievers from bodybuilder, actor and politician Arnold Schwarzenegger to actor, singer and dancer Hugh Jackman to motivational speaker Tony Robbins always have help getting to the top. I’ll share a few of their secrets.

I’m not going to tell you the same ol’ transcendental stuff like, believe in yourself, follow your passion and remain positive. While those are good and true, you must have a goal to pursue then you can apply any one of these three practical ways to maintain your motivation.

Find a Friend
You can don your Superman cape and go it alone, but why? When you find a friend, not just any friend, but someone that is willing to work with you as you tackle each baby-step to your ultimate goal, then you develop a powerful support team.

While on his quest for the world’s top bodybuilding titles, one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s training partners was Franco Columbo. “I knew that he [Franco] was the training partner who could weather the ferocious workouts necessary in the coming year,” said the muscle man. Schwarzenegger went on to win the Mr. Universe title at age 20 and the Mr. Olympia contest seven times.

You can also have more than one friend working with you. Schwarzenegger has several other men including Dave Draper, Ric Drasin and his life-long mentor Reg Park.

Mentor Me
Haven’t done it before? Scared? Terrified? Find someone who has completed the job successfully and ask for assistance. Again, you don’t have to go it alone. In fact, you’ll be more productive and avoid pitfalls when you have the right mentor for guidance and advice.

When Hugh Jackman, PEOPLE magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” – my wife made me add that – was asked to host the Academy Awards (the Oscars), he sought out advice from veteran hosts Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. “I’ve always said ‘yes’ to the thing I’m most scared about then I work through it with someone more seasoned than me,” Jackman explained. Being a stand-up guy he offered his advice to the next year’s host Seth MacFarlane.

If having a mentor is good enough for X-Men’s Wolverine, then it’s good enough for you.

Reward Yourself
After each milestone is completed, take some time to pat yourself on the back. Yes, there’s more work to be done, but a little break and reward will keep your spirits up.

Master motivator Tony Robbins believes when you complete a task and reward yourself, you’re one step closer to your goal and you feel good about it. Repeat often. Robbins says, “It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.”

When I’m finished with this article I’m treating myself to lunch…at In-N-Out Burger. Thanks, Tony.

Now let me answer the questions that started this piece:

Q: How do they find the time to get it all done?
A: Set a single, specific goal. This article will help: Pick One and Get It Done.

Q: Are they eating special super-foods?
A: Not really, but they typically eat a proper balanced diet and exercise.

Q: Can I learn to be just as successful?
A: Absolutely.

Your Turn: How do you maintain your motivation?

Presidential Prose

2013-04-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

You never know when you’ll be whisked away on Air Force One to have dinner with the President of the United States, important diplomats and visiting dignitaries, so it’s important to always listen to your mother, wear clean underwear and be prepared with a tasteful toast.

When addressing government officials and their VIP entourage you might feel a little pressure regardless if the setting is casual or formal. You don’t want to say the wrong thing and start an international incident and, well, because you’d love to be invited back to the White House.

Fortunately you can rely upon previous presidential prose to ease your anxiety. Use their finely crafted words to present touching sentiments that will well received. Here are a few brief excerpts by past and present leaders that can be adapted for your inaugural reception:

“Let us mark this day with remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled.”
– Barack Obama, 44^th President of the United States of America

“Make the choice to serve in a cause larger than your wants, larger than yourself, and in your days you will add not just to the wealth of our country but to its character.”
– George W. Bush, 43^rd President of the United States of America

“Let us shape the hope of this day into the noblest chapter in our history.”
– Bill Clinton, 42^nd President of the United States of America

“Write on our hearts these words: ‘Use power to help people.’”
– George Bush, 41^st President of the United States of America

“We must do what we know is right, and do it with all our might.”
– Ronald Reagan, 40^th President of the United States of America

These quotes will resonate with every person because they all imply one thing: you make a difference. I truly believe that you are always in the right place at the right time to make a positive difference. You don’t have to solve the entire problem, but merely move it forward for the next person to lend their expertise and move it forward.

Data source: http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/inaugurals.php

Your Turn: What wise words would you share when you visit the White House?

Birthday One Liners aka Birth Mirth

2013-03-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Birthdays happen every year
You can toast with pithy cheer
Take your time
Learn one line
It’s a precious souvenir

Far too often I hear tributes that sting like the spank on your tush the day you were born. Yes, I’m referring to old age jokes. For example:

- “The twinkle in your eye is the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.”
- “You’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it.”
- “Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.”
- “A benefit of being older is that you’re safe from being kidnapped.”
- “In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.”

While those lines might be funny (and possibly true), I have found saying something a bit more tasteful and witty can provide more memory mileage for a treasured moment.

Here are my top ten birthday one-liners to better celebrate your milestone:
10. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
9. Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest.
8. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
7. Think of hot flashes as your inner child playing with matches.
6. You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience.
5. Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
4. You’re like a fine wine; you get better with age.
3. Age doesn’t matter, unless you are cheese.
2. The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
1. It is better to wear out than to rust out.

I believe in celebrating your birthday…all week, month or even an entire year. It’s important to have twinkles in your wrinkles. As Mark Twain once wrote, “Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been.”

Related articles:
Hazardous Humor Tasteful Wedding One Liners One Liners for Lovers

Bonus Stephen Wright Joke:
Last week the candle factory burned down;
Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Your turn: What are your favorite and positive birthday jokes, quotes or one-liners?

5 Ways to Follow-Through in February

2013-02-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

Leadership and Communication Expo Chair Bob Dietrich (left)

with Facebook expert Michael Varma are all smiles at the

sold-out Leadership and Communication Expo in San Diego, Calif.

After teaching a workshop at the sold-out Leadership and Communication Expo in San Diego, Calif., I had an epiphany. You can use the same five Facebook posting techniques to keep yourself energized about your New Year’s resolutions. My session, Facebook for Fun and Profit, listed five ways to engage website viewers to click-and-order or visit your brick-and-mortar place of business.

Here is an excerpt from the workshop that I’m providing you for free:

Posting relevant and compelling content on Facebook maintains your current fans and encourages others to “Like” you. An immediate connection can be made with your audience through a photo with happy smiling people and a simple succinct sentence about the image. Facebook is all about F.A.C.E.S., which is a good acronym for remembering what types of pictures to post (page five of the handout - PDF 876 kb).

Fun

A picture of people having fun is the number one motivator. You’ll hear, “That looks like fun. I want to do that, too.” Find a picture or create a vision board of people succeeding in a similar project.

[Fun photo: my dad and sister offering a tasteful toast at my 10^th wedding anniversary party.]

Action

Actions are stronger than words – cliché but it elicits powerful memories to move you to act. Watch video clips of people achieving your target goal.

[Action photo: my friends and the second couple I married as a wedding officiant.]

Character

A person with strong character can alter the ambience of an event. Surround yourself with positive people who affect your mood (lift you up without dragging them down).

[Character photo: my wife’s cousin, Tom, goes by the nickname “Bubba” – enough said.]

Emotion

Photos that elicit emotions enter your head and heart. You’ll become an unstoppable force and reach your goal when encouraged by a favorite photograph of a loved one or cherished event.

[Emotion photo: the first couple I married were head-over-heels in love – see The Magical Minister – Bubba is groom’s father.]

Success

Winners inspire success in others. “I want that” and “I can do that” quickly transforms into “I believe it,” and “I will achieve it.”

[Success photo: Daniel Rex, the Executive Director of Toastmasters International presenting the Distinguished Toastmaster award to Michael Varma.]

Choose one or all five ways to follow through in February and I’ll see you in the winner’s circle.

Your turn: What part of F.A.C.E.S. most motivates you to action?

2013-01-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

Every January you read dozens of articles on New Year’s resolutions, everything from how to eat right, exercise, and balance the work/home life. But all are missing a vital piece of information.

I’ve even written a few articles that were printed in newspapers and circled the globe online and yet I, too, overlooked the basic ingredient every successful person knows: Pick one and get it done.

My wife (Barbara) and I recently updated our Home Wish List for 2013. It’s in Excel (because I’m such a nerd) and it lists all the things we want to do to make our house a home. For example, we want to get new floor lamps, put up crown molding and paint an accent wall in the living room. You might call it just another Fix-It or a Honey Do list – we have those, too—but the Home Wish List is geared toward things we’d like to get done this coming year.

Currently our “homework” roster has 37 items listed. Ambitious? Overwhelming? Yes and yes, but I'm sharing a simple secret to get it all done. Millionaire motivational speakers and authors, Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy among them, all recommend the same thing: prioritize your list then pick one and get it done. Focus on the single task and follow through until it’s completed.

Does it really work? Absolutely. When you identify one item to work on, all the other stress and pressure vanishes. Staying on course is much easier. For example, for years I’ve wanted to update my website (www.MichaelVarma.com) and share lots of free content and begin branding all my products under one name. During the December holidays I worked on one page at a time and within days I had more than 30 pages posted.

Want more proof? Our previous Home Wish Lists has a running tally of more than 80 accomplishments. We did get new floor lamps, put up crown molding and paint that accent wall. That makes Barbara very happy and you know that fabulous saying, “A happy wife makes a happy life.” We also did it within budget, which makes a happy hubby.

What’s next in 2013? Transform my products to ebooks and share with you on iTunes. I know I’ll be successful because I’ll follow the rule: pick one and get it done.

Your turn: What goal are you going to focus on and follow through to completion?

We Bid You Good Cheer

2012-12-15T06:00:00.000-08:00

Robert and LubyAnn Hausman toasting
at their 50th wedding anniversary.

Marriages that last seem to receive less attention than high profile, short term break-ups, but I believe the media has it all wrong. I'm taking a stand and showering attention on the simple and good things in life, after all good things last the longest.

My friend Luby and her husband Bob just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. What can you say about a couple of crazy kids that married on the steps of Avalon Community Church on November 10, 1962, on Catalina Island, Calif., and returned fifty years later to renew their vows on the same church steps?

Here’s a copy of my toast that attendees said, “That was a wonderful” and "Fabulous.":

Good Afternoon, my name is Michael Varma and I met Luby more than ten years ago at a Toastmasters meeting.

Michael Varma offers a tasteful toast
at a golden wedding anniversary.

Luby is our resident celebrity. She a triple threat: she acts, she sings and can tap dance her way out of a question she doesn’t want to answer.

And we’re here to celebrate her 50^th wedding anniversary to Bob. Fifty years is quite an achievement. Most folks don’t make it that far.

Britney Spear’s first marriage to childhood friend Jason Alexander lasted 55 hours.

Kim Kardashian's second marriage to New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries lasted a mere 72 days.

But those are marriages that didn’t make it. How about other celebrities that are still together?

Hollywood sweethearts Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are still together, but it’s only been 24 years.

My wife and I have been married for a little more than 10 years and know I adore my wife more today than when got married. (Honey, did I say that right?)

Luby and Bob, you’re at 50 years. That’s five times more love than I’ve yet known. I’m in awe and offer this anniversary toast.

You are blessed from above

With devotion and love

I have a good notion

To second His motion

We bid you good cheers

Partners in love for many more years

When Luby was asked what was the secret to her marriage, she offered a favorite quote, “Love creates a marriage and after several years, the marriage make love.”

That’s a really good line. I probably use that in the future.

What great lines can you share?

Wedded Words

2012-11-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

Kirsten and Chris Wallace 07/07/2012 with the
Magical Minister (that's me) at the top of the steps.

Toasting to the three Cs of a successful marriage.

On Saturday, July 7, 2012, I had the honor of marrying Chris and Kirsten Wallace, a shy, young couple who didn’t want the spotlight, didn’t want to have a long ceremony and didn’t to say (or write) their vows. They made it clear to me the only lines they wanted to say were, “I do.” All went well and I’m sharing and adapting a portion of their non-traditional ceremony as a brief and tasteful wedding toast: The three Cs of a successful marriage: Communicate, Compromise and Compassion.

To have a happy, healthy and long successful marriage you only need to remember the three Cs. The first C is Communicate. Telling your partner what you don’t want, is good.

Telling your partner what you DO want is better. You must articulate your wants, needs and desires.

Think about your wedding. You had to make many decisions and offer many opinions. Did you get everything you wanted? No, not everything, but you did get most everything, which leads us to the second C.

The second C is Compromise. Getting your way all the time is not fair to your partner.

When you compromise things can turn out better than what you initially had planned. A good example is Thanksgiving. Will you go to Chris’s family gathering? Will you go to Kirsten’s family gathering? If you work it out right, you’ll get two free dinners!

Keith and Shawn, Sam and Jill [parents of the bride and groom] there will be some times in the future where Chris and Kirsten will want to spend their holidays alone and that’s fine, too. They will want to make new memories. That leads us to the third C.

The third C is Compassion. As you join together in marriage, you are bringing together two different families with different thoughts, ideas, opinions and that’s where you share your compassion. The two of you probably agree on many points. That’s why you’re getting married, but some family and friends may have different opinions. And that’s okay, too. And that’s where we come full circle back to communication.

That circle is a strong bond and it’s easy to remember because it is in the form of a ring that you will wear every day of your life. As you promise to communicate, compromise and share your compassion with each other, we promise the same. Congratulations.

Your turn: What’s your recommendation for a fourth C?

Michael Varma is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty…by his cat. He has authored Tasteful Toasts, a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), and frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Three Tricks and Treats for Toasting

2012-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Learn how to ward off ghosts and goblins before taking the stage.

Halloween is a good time to be scared, but a bad time to have the hebejebes before you stand up at a party and give a toast. If you feel the tension creeping into your shoulders or your stomach tightening up it's time to relax and regain your composure. I offer three simple tricks that produce sweet treats to soothe the soul for a short soliloquy.

Trick #1 – Listen to your favorite song or radio program.

Treat #1 – Music truly calms the savage beast whether it’s in your head, heart or tummy. I take advantage of today’s technology and have two categories of tunes on my smart phone that I can listen to at a moment’s notice. First up is my piano bar playlist. This set has more than 50 songs I love to sing. Spooky spirits and negatives nerves are vanquished and I’m in a fantabulous mood well before the first chorus. Second is a set of NPR’s comedy Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me! podcasts. I can laugh and test my news knowledge while figuring out what's real and what’s made up by the cast of comedians.

Trick #2 – Breathe and be Brilliant.

Treat #2 – This simple two-step process of quickly inhaling through your nose for three seconds then exhaling through your mouth for six seconds releases nervous energy. It puts you back in command of your voice with more control, power and energy. I have done this on my way to the microphone when all eyes are on me. It appears that I am merely collecting my thoughts before I begin my toast.

Trick #3 – Wet your whistle and sip a half cup of water.

Treat #3 – When you remain hydrated you can prevent dry mouth syndrome. I always have a bottle of water handy especially when I’m scheduled to speak. And even though my toast will be less than three minutes long, I can sip the rest of the water and clear the cotton cobwebs that might form.

Typically only one of these tricks is necessary to halt the hobgoblins.

Bonus – Three Halloween Toasts:

Black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,

May luck be yours this Halloween.

* * *

Halloween is sure to fright

Goblins scream throughout the night

Monsters chase you to the house

The kids are back – save your spouse

* * *

There's a goblin at my window,

A monster at my door.

The pumpkin at my table

Keeps smiling more and more.

Your turn: What are your tricks and treats for toasting?

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Write a Touching Toast in 10 Minutes or Less

2012-09-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

You want to say a few words at the wedding, but you’re stuck on what to say. Fortunately there is a simple recipe to follow to help guide you through the process to write a touching toast in 10 minutes or less.

Beginning

Start by introducing yourself by name and how you know the bride and or groom. Never assume everyone knows who you are – there will be extended family members, signficiant others and a whole host of friends that will benefit from this relation information. For example, “Good evening, my name is Michael Varma and I’ve been Jeff’s golfing buddy for the last 12 years.”

Middle

Describe one to three observations you’ve made while the couple was dating, Yes, this is the sincere touching part. Before and after comparisons frequently are well received (see #1 below). Choose from the top ten prompters and examples listed below – replace he/she with the bride or groom’s name.

1. Before he/she met you, he/she ___________. Now he/she ___________.

Before Michael met Barbara, he didn’t have a clue about Angel’s baseball, but now he knows Don Sutton was her favorite pitcher, all the current baseball stats, and even has purchased season tickets.

2. I knew he/she was in love when ____________.

I knew Barbara was in love when she baked him an apple pie…from scratch.

3. When he/she met at __________, I knew __________.

When Michael met Barbara at the Magic Castle, and that’s all he talked about for the next three days, I knew he was marrige bound.

4. Because of you, he/she sees the world __________.

Because of Michael, Barbara sees the world as a bountiful playground.

5. You are such a part of him/her that when you're gone he/she __________.

Barbara, you are such a part of Michael that when you’re gone he becomes homesick.

6. He/She looks forward to laughing and __________ as you __________.

Michael looks forward to laughing and Jazzercising as they dance down Main Street USA at Disneyland.

7. I watched him/her ________, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I watched Michael and Barbara caretake their parents, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

8. When you ____________, he/she saw you for the _____________ person you are.

Michael, when you took Barbara’s cat to the vet, even though you were allergic to fur and sneezed for three straight days, Barbara saw you for the gentle and caring person you are.

9. He/She shares ___________, so together you can ___________.

Michael shares his popcorn at the movies with Barbara, so he can have an excuse to touch her hands.

10. Your ___________ has shown him/her how to be___________.

Barbara’s generosity has shown Michael how to be more giving.

You can customize the middle a bit more by expounding – just a tad – and provide a few relevant and humorous details.

End

To conclude, raise your glass and offer a brief blessing (aka Tasteful Toasts). It can be as simple as “Cheers” to “To a long happy and healthy marriage” to my personal favorite:

Your marriage makes a perfect start

For every life is a work of art

Paint a picture filled with bliss

Treasured in your lover's kiss

Wedding vows are truly strong

May yours last forever long

Your turn: What additional prompters can you share?

Michael Varma, is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and recently penned a mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Fixin’ Our Stinkin’ Thinkin’

2012-08-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Questions to discover a simple solution

For a long time I believed accidents were always going to be in my future. Frequently I’d find myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. For example, once I was stopped at a red light and observed a car crash and another time, while out for a morning jog, a bicyclist wiped out fifty feet in front of me. Why was I a witness to so many painful accidents? Then I had an epiphany, what if I’m actually in the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time and the right person with the right skillset to provide assistance? – afterall, I had emergency medical training. I discovered that I’m not alone in this type of forward thinking.

Assess the Area

My friend Barbara Higgins is a fabulous photographer who captures special moments in a nanosecond. While shooting her Newport Beach Reflections series, she was walking on the pier and saw a couple being married with a few onlookers crowding around. She briefly assessed the area and noticed the bride and groom’s reflections in the lense of beach binoculars. Barbara was in the right place at the right time with the right equipment and skillset to snap an award winning photo (see above).

Some folks claim she is incredibly lucky, but I know she has honed her ability to assess the area and see what others have overlooked. “I’ve learned to survey the scene.” says Barbara. “I’ve done it for so long that now I’m natrually observant.”

Change the Focus

The question, “Why is this happening to me?” can be interpreted two ways: as a victim or a victor. In my initial scenarios I was being a Negative Ned whining about the collisions and calamity I saw until I changed my focus and relalized I could be a Positive Paul and provide assistance.

Victims complain, “Bad things always happen to me.”
Victors ask, “What can I do to make this situation better?”

This is a dressed up version of the classic question, “Is the glass half full or half empty?” but I’ll take it one step further and ask, “Regardless if the glass is half full or half empty, fill it to the rim!”

Take Action

Every day you and I have many opportunities, in our personal and professional lives, for fixin’ our stinkin’ thinkin’. Start small and follow Nike’s motto: Just Do It. Barbara Higgins agrees, “I still have to get the camera up pretty quick, focus and press the plunger before I lose my chance. Yes, I miss a few shots, but I get more than I miss.”

To be completely candid, I have not always found that simple solution when I ask, “What can I do to make the situation better?”, but I know it’s out there. Each of us have unique talents that will make a difference when we decide to ACT: Assess the Area, Change the Focus and Take Action.

Your turn: How have you fixed some stinkin’ thinkin’?

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

The Great Ginko Goof

2012-07-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Learn what to do after you forget something or someone important.

I stood embarrassed like a monkey’s uncle on the stage at a family celebration when I forgot to formally acknowledge my cousin David’s engagement to his sweetie-pie Amy. Fact: every speaker, from emerging emcee to professional presenter, will encounter a lapse in memory and forget to mention something or someone important. These times of forgetfulness – known as senior moments to the older generation and brain farts to the younger – can be reduced to a minimum, but never completely avoided (see Murphy’s Law). Learning to bounce back from a blunder is a crucial skill to master. The following fundamental formula leads to success and will take your FAR: Foregive, Acknowledge and Rebuild.

FORGIVE Yourself

When you make an omission, which I call “Ginko Goofs” – named after the great memory aid ginko biloba, accept the fact you made a mistake and forgive yourself. The more you say “I’m perfect” or “I never make a mistake” means you’re in true-blue denial and your pending ginko goof will be gigantic.

It’s vital to release the self-imposed guilt, which is easier to write than do, but I was finally able to let it go…the next day. I can’t change the past, but I can fix the future.

ACKNOWLEDGE the Ommission

Had I realized my gaff, I would have politely acknowledged my ommission and made amends. A simple and effective explanation of, “My adrenaline was pumping so fast that my brain short-circutted like Homer Simpson: Doh! I forgot to recognize my cousin David, who’s adrenaline is pumping harder and faster because Amy just said ‘Yes’ to his proposal. Amy, please pardon him for any mental malfunctions that might occur in the next 72 hours.”

But I didn’t grasp the depth of my ginko goof until much later. Double Doh! No way to fix my faux pas infront of family and friends. David and Amy must have felt unappreciated or unimportant when the exact opposite is true. What to do?

REBUILD the Friendship

The top question to answer is, “How can I rebuild the relationship after I falter?” Simple and direct tends to work best, so I called my cousin and apologized. David said, “It's all good. I think everyone has forgotten someone during a speech at one time or another.” Classy.

Another option is to give special attention to the person(s) after the fact. Ask yourself, “Where’s the opportunity in the mistake?” Besides, a life without a few ginko goofs is, well, boring.

Your turn: How have you overcome a ginko goof?

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Waffle Wedded Wife

2012-06-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Giggles that started a joyful marriage.

One of the joys of writing articles is when readers send me success stories, giggle generating jokes or videos like the Waffle Wedded Wife clip, which you can see on my Tasteful Toasts blog website. It’s a good reminder that you can still have fun when you flub a line.

The Gospel About Giggles

Laughter IS the best medicine. Need proof? The following is a list of the top ten fascinating fun facts from reputable institutions around the world regarding mirth’s medicinal qualities:

1. There are 18 different kinds of smiles – the most common is the smile of enjoyment.

2. Thirteen muscles are used to smile, but 47 are required for frowning.

3. You have to smile nearly a quarter of a million times to make one wrinkle.

4. You can stimulate your heart and lungs and improve breathing capacity by laughing.

5. Laughing one hundred times a day is equal to ten minutes of rowing.

6. Fifteen minutes of laughter equals the benefit of two hours sleep.

7. One good belly laugh burns off three and a half calories.

8. Laughter causes endorphins to be released, similar to a joggers’ 'high'.

9. Laughter releases feelings of anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

10. Laughter is contagious.

Two additional fun facts – my favorites – are 1) the average adult laughs 15 times a day and 2) children laugh about 400 times a day. I think I’ll follow the example the kids are setting for us.

In the case of the Waffle Wedded Wife video, there is a moral to the story: when you make a mistake, acknowledge it and move on. Everything will turn out fine.

Your turn: What gets you to giggle?

Michael Varma, is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty…by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and recently penned a mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

One-Liners for Lovers

2012-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Toasting to the ones you love.

By Michael Varma

I recently read a wedding speech book that promised readers how to get laughs, but in my humble opinion, it was geared more for roasting the couple than toasting newlyweds.

Wedding toasts should be positive as this is a new life for the couple. Remarks can still be funny. Read my opinion about Tasteful Wedding One-Liners.

Here are a dozen of my favorite one-liners for lovers – perfect for weddings, anniversaries or other romantic celebrations:

1. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. ~ Lynda Barry

2. Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~ Eva Gabor

3. Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life.

4. Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. ~ Henry David Thoreau

5. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

6. We’re here to celebrate the love match, pure and simple:
Barbara is pure and Michael is…a very nice guy.

7. Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

8. Love is not singular except in syllable. ~ Marvin Taylor

9. The first time he saw her swimming in the sea he thought she was worth wading for.

10. Live each day as if it were your last, and each night as if it were your first.

11. Love one another and you will be happy; it's as simple and as difficult as that.

12. If you’re smart, you’ll always have the last word; if you’re wise you won’t use it.

Bonus – brief marriage jokes:

If love is blind and marriage is an institution, then marriage is an institution for the blind. Which leads me to my next question, if love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Your turn: What’s your favorite one-liner for lovers?

Michael Varma, is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty...by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and recently penned a mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

You can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.