EveryDay Dreams

NEW Diet - Trying the Paleo

2014-04-03T22:46:00.000-05:00

Mike and I have decided to try the new Paleo diet and eliminate sugars, grains and stick with mostly meats, fresh veggies and fruits.

I hope I can make it and not sneak the occasional tootsie roll pop.

Cherry flavored.

Conversation with a lost heart

2014-03-22T02:22:00.002-05:00

Seriously.

Just listen.

The IceMan Cometh

2013-12-22T00:22:00.001-06:00

Tulsa was hit by a winter ice storm just days before Christmas this year. Here are some photos but more are here: TULSA ICE STORM PHOTOS

Excuse the blurriness. I'm trying to get used to taking pictures with my left eye since my right one doesn't work as well.

My Journey Back To Faith

2013-10-25T12:01:00.003-05:00

My life prior to my wonderful current husband seems like a really bad B-movie. Drugs, affairs, crime, police, deception, homelessness and abuse made it hard for me to have faith.

Why?

Because I went through the previous marriage stone-cold sober. His misery and failures were mine, too, because of "love" or some sort of loyalty I was desperate to find in him.

Losing my faith then makes me sad now. Don't get me wrong - I still believe in Jesus and the power of the Almighty.

When a person, such as myself, allows someone who seems larger than life to walk in and take over completely, the horrible realization that comes in that moment when you think "Where did my faith go?" buckles you to your knees.

I was finished. In that moment, I turned off all emotional contact with my faith, my life, my friends, my family and myself. I was, quite literally, The Walking Dead.

For a long time, I couldn't even cry.

I was a prisoner in my own home because I couldn't find the motivation (read: Heart) to step outside and change the dynamics of my existence. I felt worthless, used and completely incapable of movement. My feet were shackled and my cell sucked me in more and more to the point that all I did was go to work and come back to the cave I had created.

I invited no one to visit - even family. I couldn't let them see the misery. I refused to let them walk through my door and see the pity in their eyes.

When you begin to wake up out of the dream, Faith, in its infinite wisdom, has a way of keeping up with your comings and goings. It taps you on the shoulder often to let you know that, no matter how bad you perceive things to be, there's really another world you can step to if you just learn one simple thing.

Self-defense.

The bars that I used to see on my window are gone now. I step smoothly past the depression that used to be the end-all to my existence. The pills I took to mask the feelings are gone.

Reality is my best friend. Lies I had convinced myself of are no longer in play. I don't lie to myself anymore. Excuses are not welcome here.

This is not an overnight process. My faith is still reminding me daily that there are other options to panic (I have panic attacks but not as frequently). Long walks, laughter, talking with my husband about any distresses that happen by, keeping my camera handy and taking an interest in my own health and well-being.

I care about my faith now. I keep a close eye on it and welcome it in for coffee and a chat.

We're becoming best friends again.

Minion hat - adult

2013-10-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

This was a serious rush job - click on the photo to see a larger version.

Granny hoodie with attached scarf

2013-10-14T22:58:00.000-05:00

Newborn Crochet

2013-10-13T20:08:00.001-05:00

Just a couple of things I worked on last week. Sent just in time for my sis-in-law's baby shower :)

50 Is The New 50

2013-04-12T11:47:00.000-05:00

Most people say that I need to act my age, get involved in the community, maybe run for local office.

I tell most people to give me dark chocolate (with chili), a glass of merlot and reach down to kiss my ass.

Acting my age isn't something I'm likely to do. Life means something to me. It means having fun being with my man, playing MMO's, Facebooking with my insane compadres in past crimes, keeping a low profile with my camera and keeping my fat foot in check on my turbo Mazda.

I am who I am. Deal with it, I say :)

Being an actor? Nah, but if I did, I'd play a woman like Mags on Justified or, better yet, Jessica Tandy who said what was on her mind with poise, grace and humor and a bit of snark.

I can do snark pretty damn well. I like snark.

What I'd really like to do is help women veterans like myself. Some disabled (like me) and some that are not but all who are in need of some damn help. The enormous spirit of a woman cannot be defined or placed in some kind of mold. It is there - it is real and it needs to be respected.

Let's be straight about something. I'm not saying every woman out there deserves respect. Respect has to be commanded and some women don't think enough of themselves to command respect.

Demand respect? I don't demand anything of anyone. Just not the way of things for me. But command it. I'd better be on my damn p's and q's when I walk in a room and my actions speak for me. My response and my handling of situations in my life is how I command respect for myself. It comes naturally if I allow it to.

I don't like the spotlight but I am the center of attention in my own world. I like that because the people around me are comfortable to me. They fall in line with my way of doing things. They offer me chances to explore and grow by introducing new ideas and new philosophies.

They are my people. They are my "50".

Reflection

2012-05-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

Dwelling on the past isn't something I do often these days. It was a decision I made after removing the ex-as...., er, ex-husband from my life. I remember well that when I finally did get a great-paying job, I used my first check to skip the rent and buy him a plane ticket back across the country and out of my life. I didn't stay in that apartment long after that so rent didn't matter.

It was a trying time for me then. I was between homes so I slept in my small Honda which I would park in church parking lots and hope I wouldn't be bothered. I carried a weapon, ate from church pantries and did the best I could. Many nights of cold, bitter reflection met up with me in the streets of Atlanta - having guns pointed at my heart (he said it wasn't loaded but I'll never forget the click as he pulled the trigger), having my throat cut (the scars are healed completely), enduring the dealers that the ex used to hang out with who would come by the apartment, peck on my window at night and make noises. Scared the crap out of me when one of them came by as I was planting flowers.

He had 2 big, burly bodyguards. I gave him the phone number where he could find the ex and explained about the divorce. He didn't believe me until I showed him the papers but left me with a threat that he'd better have his money. I told him I'd call the police if he showed up again.

That neighborhood, once a nice place to live, was getting rough. The week I moved out, someone was breaking into another apartment and I was asked to try and identify him from the back of a police car. The "line-up" was at the back of another police car. The car I was in shined the lights on 5 young men and I was asked to pick one out. I kept telling the nice officers that it was night and I wasn't sure which one it was but they really wanted to arrest someone that night. I was just glad it wasn't me.

The day I moved out, a gunfight several doors down. I swear, I don't know how I made it out of that one.

I'm just an average woman with average dreams. I didn't do anything special in my life for myself except joining the Army @ 21 and marrying my 2nd husband. Both have been the best time of my life.

I was impressionable after getting out of the Army so when the ex- talked me into getting out and joining him across country, I did.

I was a fool.

The only good that came out of that situation was meeting his mother. I still tear up when I think about her. She is a special woman.

That life seems like a really bad B-Movie now and there are aspects that I still have problems remembering. Someone can show me a picture from teenage or childhood years or even when I was in the Army and I'll be damned if I can remember being there.

Sometimes, a memory will sneak up on me and throw me to the dogs. Loud, sudden sounds never used to startle me. They made me duck or dodge but startle? No.

Nowadays, I nearly faint when I hear a really loud sudden noise (like thunder, for example).

It's all a matter of perspective, though. I have someone to catch me when I start to fall now. He never lets me hit the ground. If I'm scared, he puts a weapon in my hand and says "All you have to do is point it in their general direction and I guarantee you'll never have to shoot it. People are funny about things like that." Then we laugh and all is well again in my world.

(edited 10/5/2012)

You're Blogging Me!

2012-05-16T00:05:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine says the written word is a lost art. "Nobody writes letters by hand anymore. I used to get letters all the time. Now? An email that I might miss because a unknown logic says it's 'spam'".

"What were the letters about?"

"Oh, you know. Weather. Family. Sickness. Throw in a recipe card every now and then to something that reminds you of homemade dishes that you may - or may not have - eaten growing up. All homey-like goodness in every loop and line."

"Blogging does the same thing. Only faster."

"Yes, but you can't delete what you say after you've licked the stamp and put it in a mailbox. With online blogging and such, you can always go back and edit or erase whatever you meant to say in the first place. You fool yourself into thinking that you're brilliant when all along you've just bullshitted not only yourself - but your audience, too."

"Why's that?"

"If you said what you meant the first time, there's no need to take it back."

Since I'm hanging on to every word being said, this is a clue to me that next time one of my explanations is regarded as iffy and someone says, "That's such a load of Blog!", I'll know exactly what they mean.

Photo by TateTwo Studios

Wolfgang Puck Saved My Bacon!

2012-05-15T10:41:00.002-05:00

Mama didn't get new shoes (ok, well, she did but not for my anniversary) but I got something just as awesome!

Wolfgang Puck cookware!!! and let me tell you, it makes the most perfect bacon. I've cooked bacon for 49 years (well, almost 30 - toddlers can't cook, right?) and it usually ends up being nasty burned in the middle and raw on the outer edges. Just awful!

This cookware is so completely different!

It distributes the heat all the way around forcing me to lower the temperature almost to LOW. Then I pop the lid on and just a few minutes later, I have perfect bacon! Cleanup? A total breeze with just a scouring pad and nice hot water and BAM! no mess! Better than non-stick surfaces because now I can use the stainless steel utensils that came with it. No silicone here, baby!

I love bacon. *sigh*

What shall I cook next?

I'm thinking bourbon chicken.....mmmmm.....bourbon chicken.

Maybe I'll throw in some bacon.

There's a thought.

Tulsa Garden Center - Greenhouse

2012-05-14T18:08:00.003-05:00

The Tulsa Garden Center was quite lovely what with the Bonsai show (see pics on previous post) and the beautiful day it was!

Here are a few pictures of the plants inside their greenhouse. Enjoy!

Mother's Day - Bonsai !!!

2012-05-14T02:20:00.000-05:00

It was a gloriously beautiful day today! The sun was shining bright! Families were out in the park enjoying the great outdoors and the Rose Garden, the wind was just right and the Garden Center had a bonsai plant sale going on! Woo hoo! Here's some photos of our day - hope you enjoy them! ~~ Nita

A Jam Session With Avery

2012-05-09T00:10:00.000-05:00

It was a great morning today.

Mike and I tried out the new Wolfgang Puck cookware he gave me for our anniversary and were pleasantly surprised at the completely even results. By that I mean normally my bacon is 1/2 burned and 1/2 raw because cast iron concentrates most of its heat in the center of the pan.

And because until my second cup of coffee, I seriously cannot cook. Ask anyone.

Anyway, the bacon was beautifully fried and the cheese eggs smelled dee-lish! I reached for something sweet to spread on my toast and passed up the "normal" store-bought preserves and moved my hand to a couple of jars of Amish jams I had bought last week.

I had always heard that Amish jams would make a woman who can't sing belt out an aria from the sheer pleasure of preserves done right. I don't even sing in the shower so you can imagine how much I was looking forward to this moment done right!

I couldn't wait for my first bite. I whined a little bit when I couldn't open the lids and pouted just right because Mike took pity on me, called me a "wimp" and opened my jars for me. *sigh* I just love that man of mine!

As I spread the sweet jam on my toast, my heart knocked on my eyeballs and said, "Avery would love this. I'll bet she never had Amish jam before, either." It was then, as I took my first bite, that my heart gave way.

Can you smile and cry at the same time while tasting the most perfect sweetness you've ever tasted? I don't do much these days without thinking of Avery and her Bucket List. I'm 49 years old and it's been a mightly long time that I've stopped to examine my own bucket list.

Didn't really know I had one till I met Avery.

What's on YOUR bucket list?

Woo Hoo!

2012-05-03T08:00:00.006-05:00

YEAH, BABY!

MAMA GOT SOME NEW SHOES!!! 2 for the price of one!

Here's A Tip: Upcycle Dryer Sheets

2012-05-02T11:24:00.001-05:00

Did you run out of filling for your current craft project?

Use up your USED dryer sheets. I collect mine in a plastic bag that sits on a shelf above my dryer. Great for the environment!

Save your money!! Recycle!!

Patio Pulley System

2012-05-01T13:46:00.000-05:00

Mike installed a pulley system for my topsey turvey plants. I'm so short I can't reach the hooks without standing on a chair or stepladder. So we went to Home Depot and bought a pulley for each plant, anchors and some cord. Works like a charm!

Observe, if you will.

TA DA! Now I can water my plants anytime :) They're happy.....I'm happy. And Mike? He's just glad they're out of the way so he can put MORE plants on the patio.

How do you like it? I'd love to hear your comments!!!

Home Sweet Home - More apartment pictures

2012-04-30T01:59:00.000-05:00

There's something inviting about an adult-only pool area.

One of the many BBQ areas

There's about a dozen or so swings or bench areas to sit and read:

The back side of the complex next to the road/gate area (not my back yard area)

Another BBQ area - bring your own gas container

Community Herb Garden :)

A pond area - apparently they haven't clean it out for the summer yet:

The road entrance to the complex

Side road that leads to the back gate. The neighborhood beside us is filled with duplexes that look like ranch homes. An elementary school and more private ranch-style homes built in the 50's.

Garden patios where people grow all sorts of plants, tomatoes, strawberries and many other items.

Back of the Clubhouse/office

Walkway to the pool and tennis court (only one but hey, that's all you need, right?)

Why don't you come visit and sit a while?

Home Sweet Home - New Apartment Pics So Far

2012-04-23T00:20:00.000-05:00

We moved into the new apartment this weekend. I'm exhausted. Mike is fried and the oldest son and his two moving buddies are sore as all get out. Those guys did a fantastic job of getting us moved in. So, here are the new pictures of the apartment so far. I walked the grounds a little bit today but still haven't seen all of the complex. I'll get more pictures tomorrow when I'm out and about. Let me Introduce our movers :) First, there's our son, Big Un

Then there's Ryan

And now Justin

Oh, and their mascot, Memphis

We enter from here (4-lane very busy road)

The Side street - beautiful private homes as well as very nice duplexes!

Welcome!!!

My Desk - Where Genius Happens

Mike's Desk - Where Genius Naturally Lives

We have a fireplace!

And a built-in bookshelf!

The Kitchen - we actually have an ice maker in this refrigerator. Our last place was too cheap to install one. Modern cabinets and countertops and an ISLAND! *sigh of happiness*

The Back Door - sliding glass door (with a screen) leading to a private patio.

The Patio Gate leads to a parking area in the back that is incredibly convenient!

Well, that's all for now, folks! I'll show you the bedrooms later (we made one of the bedrooms into our TV room and the "living room" into our office). The master bedroom is a mess so I'll show it later. Oh! Also in the master bedroom, there's another bath with a shower and a separate utility closet that has our washer/dryer hook-up. I'm telling you, when we get another house of our own, the laundry room is going right there in the bedroom with us. SO CONVENIENT! You guys take care!

Changes Are A Good Thing

2012-04-18T09:16:00.000-05:00

I wrote more on my book series last night. Like I said, it will probably never get published but who cares?

This is my project and my adventure and I'm really loving the characters so far. Fun and mysterious. Classy and determined.

Journeys are subtle changes. These books are taking "change" and making that something real and unique for me. I'm feeling more alive and willing to embrace new ideas than ever before.

I've come a long way, baby. I'll definitely keep drinking from that cup, for sure.

Reflections In The Rear View

2012-04-07T23:55:00.001-05:00

I'll bet you thought I was going to write something longer than one sentence, huh?

I did. I wrote three.

(I took this from Mike's corvette as we were going to get something to eat at Sonic)

Darkness Calms The Chaos

2012-04-06T13:28:00.003-05:00

Normally, when you think of darkness completely enveloping you, your natural instinct is to be afraid.

Very afraid.

For someone with migraines and ADHD, the darkness is a welcome relief.

It's an overcast, yet oddly bright day here. We've just gotten back from taking my husband to a job interview. I sat outside the building and waited in the car for him and, while I was there, wrote some more notes about Book One of my series. I don't know where all these characters come from but I get a boatload of inspiration just by watching strange-ass people. That's always a welcome respite from trying to think up unique characters all by myself. :)

The brightness took its toll on my eyes and I walked in the house feeling completely and utterly drained. My head is about to pop yet my mind is going 100MPH thinking about my characters. My brain tells me to give it up and stop encouraging a No-Win situation. Go to the Lazy-Gurl chair and relax, it says.

So what am I doing at a computer, you ask?

Easy. My eyes have to stop but I can't stop the raging noggin junk. So I'll have to think out-of-the-box and find a solution.

(LATER)

I now have a sleep mask on and am in total and complete darkness as I'm typing. The spots are beginning to fade and I'm not being at all distracted by the cats, the computer screen with all the countless browser tabs I have going across the top, my husband's tank game which is really cool to watch or the TV which is playing a very interesting movie, Malcolm X.

Of course, there's nothing I can do about the multitude of sounds coming at me but, as I smell the cinnamon rolls baking, I get a sense of well-being amongst the chaos.

I think about my characters and their reactions to smell, sight and sounds. I think about their interactions with everyday life - cooking, cleaning, even having a cup of coffee or tea - and it brings my characters to greater substance.

It brings them to a breathing, living life.

The chaos is turning into something positive.

I read somewhere that if you pass a tree when your angry, does the tree bark change because of your anger? Does it become more joyful if you pass it by in a elated frame of heart? What chaos do you carry past the tree that REALLY changes it?

On the surface, nothing. The bark stays the same. The leaves don't turn brown and wither and die because you curse at it or pass by with the foul stench of worry or stress.

If you think about it a different way, the tree actually benefits from your anger. You produce more carbon dioxide - the stuff of life for any green thing. The more you produce for the tree, the greener and stronger it becomes.

Alternatively, if you die of stress and worry, the only benefit you've left in this world is a greener, healthier tree and not much else.

So, what do you do to control the chaos? Do you go anywhere? Do you let the chaos control you or do you turn it around and produce something constructive?

Share your thoughts!

I Heard From A Friend Today

2012-04-06T01:48:00.001-05:00

I'll call her "R".

She is a wonderful person and I worked with her for well over 14 years at Sprint in Atlanta. I miss her smile and warmth and her upbeat attitude.

She reminds me so much of all my sisters rolled up into one person. Her ready laughter, her focus on the task at hand, her humongous heart.

It made me sad to hear that she almost lost her husband a few months ago to high blood pressure but happy to know that he's doing much better now. Always a good thing to never look a second chance at making a life change in the mouth and doing something good for yourself like getting the medication your body craves at a time you really need it.

I looked over at Mike who is happily playing a tank game on his computer (which, oddly enough, sits right next to mine). He's healthy as a horse, as they say, and I'm so glad for that.

I thought about how many hours he has sat in front of a computer playing one game or another and, for a while there, it really annoyed me because he wasn't paying attention to me.

I'm an attention-hog, don't cha know.

As I looked at him, I thought about all the laughter and play-acting we've done with all the games that we've played over the years. We have Nerf-machine guns for our "battles" in the house, we sometimes converse in World of Warcraft speak, and a lot of times, we're laughing at some stupid storyline or a stupid quest that we were required to do to get a stupid prize - like a flying mount or mechanical squirrel.

Life would be dull and lifeless without him in it. I'm sure "R" feels the same way about her man, too. It makes all the difference in the world when you find someone you hardly ever argue with, laugh at just about everything and wake up feeling good about the person you've become because of the person you're with.

Not too many people can say that, can they?

~~~~ Lynita

Dealing With Worry - The Sordid Truth

2012-04-04T22:29:00.002-05:00

It was an interesting week. I have been offered a job and am filling out the paperwork now.

I don't have mixed feelings about the offer - it's a good one and I'm blessed to have the opportunity presented to me. Then why do I feel like my heart is missing?

I'll tell you why.

It's because while I have an offer for a full-time, permanent position with a good company, my husband will be out of work in less than a month. This hurts my heart.

Do I feel guilty? Yes. Yes, I do.

Do I want to choose joy instead of this feeling of trepidation like the other shoe is about to drop? Of course, I want to choose joy.

But how? How do I open my heart up to this and accept the goodness God has brought to us? I finally have benefits and can see a doctor. I have a matching 401(k) plan again. I have worked for a year as a contractor with with good people who have supported our search in ways you can't even imagine. Such good people!!!

God has given us brains and opportunities if we just look a bit closer and think about how we can get ahead again.

I honestly believe that so now I just need to learn to let the worry teach me to look for opportunities that work for our benefit.

Super Tasty Enchiladas - Recipe

2012-02-08T13:55:00.001-06:00

I came in last night and decided to start on my enchiladas for today's meal plan.

The process is easy - but a bit time-consuming because that's the way I roll.

Super Tasty Enchiladas

Yield: about 12

ENCHILADA INNARDS:

1 medium onion
2 lbs of ground meat (I use an 80/20 mix)
1 package of spicy taco seasoning
1 package of Fajita seasoning
1/4 cup water

SAUCE:
2 cans of fire-roasted tomato enchilada sauce (it's savory & barely warm)
1 cup sour cream
1 cup salsa or taco sauce

corn tortillas

TOPPING:
shredded Mexican blend cheese (about 3/4 cup depending on how cheesy you want the top)

Step 1. Gather all your ingredients (listed below in the recipe) and put them on the counter.

Step 2. Heat your oven to 350.

Step 3. Chop your onion. Cook the onion for about 5 min then add the ground beef,.

Step 4. Drop in the 2 packets of seasoning, top with the water and cook well.

Step 5. While the beef mixture is cooking (remember to stir to keep the beef from sticking together while it cooks), prepare your sauce by combining 1 cup of sour cream to 2 cans of enchilada sauce (fire-roasted is best) and 1 cup of taco sauce (or salsa if you don't have the taco sauce). Mix well. (the sauce can be as spicy as you like.)

Step 6. After the beef cooks, remove the beef mixture from the burner and burn your corn tortillas. (I turn my stove eye up on high (or just below high) and quickly rotate the tortilla on the hot burner. This puts burn/scorch marks on them and make the tortilla soft and pliable in addition to adding flavor.)

SLOPPY PROCESS INSTRUCTIONS

Step 7. Cover the bottom of a lasagne pan or baking dish with a thin layer of sauce.

Step 8. Fill the tortillas and give a quick roll. Attempt to place the tortillas seam-side down in the dish and hopefully not spill any of the beef innards out of it. After you fill your pan up with those rolled-up puppies, then..........

Step 9. Spoon the sauce over the enchiladas. Make sure to wiggle the enchiladas around just a little to get the sauce in between them.

Step 10. Spread the cheese on top and bake for about 20 minutes or until the cheese melts really good on the top.

Remove from oven and ENJOY!

Leave a comment and let me know how you like them :)