Tatter Scoops - Scoops from two cultures, one heart

Wisdom Beyond His Years

2010-08-27T04:29:53Z

“He is your son…he can sense your feelings…”

That’s what my mother told me some months ago and I believe her.

How can a boy who is not even 4 years old, who depends on me to get him his juice, to give him his bath, to feed him, to clothe him and to cuddle him before bed find the wisdom beyond his years? It is truly astonishing.

Our children picked up on our vibes, I’ve read and heard about it but nothing prepare me for what this boy had given me. They will know if you’re troubled. They can sense these things although they may not fully comprehend the truth or the extends of what ever weighing you down.

So when this little boy wiped my tears and said “Smile Mommy…don’t cry” he grinned showing me how to smile then proceed to gave a hug that engulfed me with so much love, I feel like it is me who depends on him.

As much as I try to stay strong for his sake he just knows it…he is part of me, my blood runs inside him.

“Don’t cry Mommy…” he said with a smile

And why did it only made me cry even more?

Holding him there I tried to pick myself up, tried to absorb the strength from a little boy. It doesn’t seem fair! I should be his Mommy…it is my duty to wipe his tears, kiss his boo-boo not the other way around.

Yet he does…he kissed my boo-boo. He wiped my tears. He made it all worthwhile.

Thank you, pumpkin! You really are a God’s sent.

If only I’m not such a crybaby Mommy.

With this post I’m letting you know that I had decided to take a short break from blogging so please do excuse my absences on your blogs. Won’t take too long but right now I just need to sort some things. See you when I get back!

Photography From A Mom’s Point of View

2010-08-27T04:35:21Z

Growing up I don’t remember our family taking lots of pictures.

At least not to the extent that I’ve been snapping pictures of Lil’ A – which reminds me I have to do something with these mountain of digital pictures.

Yes, maybe a few clicks on birthdays or Christmas but nothing that really stood out in my memory. My parents just wasn’t big on taking pictures.

So when I was given my Oma (Grandmother) collection of pictures went back as far as 1920s, I instantly knew where this love of photography came from. She took some amazing pictures in her young age.

Then in 1992, we lost our house in a fire. At the time we were living in a small mining town called Sangatta in East Borneo. We lost everything except for the clothes on our back, an old suitcase where my father kept all of our families important documents and my bible.

It was at the cracked of dawn…it happened way too fast for us to even thinking to safe anything. All of us went out of the house bare footed. My biggest regret is not even thinking to rescue our photo albums.

Old family pictures are important to me because they act as a bridge from one generations to another. I really wish I will have a chance to ask my Oma about some of her old pictures but I fear there isn’t enough time left and some of those pictures will forever be a mystery to me. Since we had lost all of ours, what little that my family have today came from my grandparents or other families.

It’s rather sad to know that I won’t be able to show Lil’ A pictures of his mommy when she was in elementary school…picture of me with my beloved little yellow bike…or my first dancing recital pictures.

Becoming parents, mommy, had changed my way of embracing photography. Not only that it captured and freezes the milestones from the first time I hold my son to the first steps he took but it’s like a little time machine. Time machine that can still transport me back to those early days where I was too sleep deprived and tired to savor each minutes new baby brought. These old pictures can still put tears in my eyes and made me smile.

Granted, there are pictures that would be perfect for blackmailing him in his teenage years and I will keep them too. Going through little old pictures that I have of me when I was a baby it strike me too how much this boy looks like his Mommy. Here, see it for yourself:

In almost 4 years of his lifetime, Lil’ A has only been in a photo studio once and DH told me that he doesn’t need to since his Mommy already has been snapping pictures since day one. With moving around I haven’t had too many pictures printed out tho’ which I should plan on doing soon.

If you’re into taking pictures of your children, how do you manage the pictures? How do you feel about them?

Being Single in Hollywood

2010-08-26T04:53:49Z

To kick things up a bit on Tatter Scoops. Please welcome Trias. She’s a friend of mine, a beautiful Indonesian girl living in Los Angeles, California. This how she described herself: “To me, it’s all about taking chances, it’s about trusting that people were put in life for me to capitalize on the opportunity. I work hard, party harder but study the hardest cuz life is short yet moves so fast. ♥” Don’t you just love that? Please give her some warm love.

“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty, sexy, and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”
(Sex and the City)
~o~

Hi, I’m Trias and I’m single.

When Maureen posted on her Facebook looking for a guest blogger, I had no idea what I wanted to write if I were featured as one considering most of her posts are about her son, Lil’ A. That cute little boy with sparkling eyes and naughty smirk –boy, is he handsome or what!

But then I was like.. hey, I could relate to that.. well, somewhat.. just not in a mommy kind of way. I, for sure, deal with many-many boys over these years. So.. sit tight, you’re about to hear the ugly, sweet, and fun boy(s) stories of mine.

March 2006.

• The Hollyweird Weirdo •

It was my first date with this guy named Billy. Please-please believe me and my eyes, he’s not only cute but also tall! He also got this cute smile with hazel eyes that amazed me until… I listened to the words he’s saying.

Boy, I tell ya, all he talked about throughout the night was.. him, him and him, and well.. him. He loves himself so much not once he asked about me. Listen to what he said:

“What else do you want to know about me? Ask me questions!”
“Want to touch my arms? Here *folding his arms, showing off his biceps* I just worked out, feel it!”
“And my chest *pulling his chest up* Feel it”
“Am I as cute as you said on your emails?”
“I do yoga. I can show you my yoga moves. I’m very flexible ya know“

OMG! this guy, I can’t believe him! I couldn’t help but laughing. Not because he’s funny, but because he’s such a little kid trapped in an oh-so-hot 29 yr old guy. Oh, let’s not forget, he’s also an actor. Well, duh?! This is Hollywood! Aren’t everyone in this town an aspiring actor? He’s blabbing about his short film, about him being a writer and oh of course he also modeled before, for some magazine or some sort. I was like (in my head).. OK OK, I GET IT. You’re hot, you’re an actor, you’re a model. SO WHAT?! (I swear I wanted to run out)

That’s not the weird part of the story, by the way.

When I walked back to my car, he walked right past me, and FYI, I have this thing of checking out a guy’s butt all the time hehe.. so of course, I looked at his behind.. and OMG! He.. umm.. he freakin‘ wore thongs!

That’s it. Big turn off. No second date for the thong guy!

April 2006

• Next time, Actually LISTEN to your Friends •

There was this Yugoslavian guy that I met at a bar last week who asked me out to dinner. My close friends said he was ugly, weird and slimy. They told me not to go, but knowing me I went anyways, because I remember him being tall, got accent, and cute….. well.. I thought he was.. until last night.

When I saw him, I still thought he’s tall and cute…. until he smiled. Bad teeth hahahaha. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude or mean, but really, he’s in desperate need of braces. I’m just saying. But anyways, we had dinner and had small conversation. He sounded cool at first, until he asked me “Do you smoke pot?“ WTF?!

I asked if he’d been married before, he said I AM.

I said, “Well, I can’t hang out with you then. How long have you been married?”
He said, “6 months.”
WTF???!

I became less and less interested to continue the dinner. I mean.. Hello?! I’m not about to mess around with someone’s husband! So, I stopped asking questions. But then he asked if I were married. I said no, and told him that I’m divorced. He asked if I got any kids. In which I answered no. But then he said “I do. Two. They’re in Yugoslavia now.“

Eeeekkk! Married for only 6 months with 2 kids left behind and there he was, on a date with moi.

Ooohkkaay. Time to call it the night. Ciao!

Stay tuned for more…

Hello, I’m Anti-Social

2010-08-27T04:31:16Z

photo credit: mscaprikell

In today’s very social world I think I’m not that social after all…

Did I catch your attention?

If you nod then that’s good! Why don’t you take a sit, while I pour coffee, or tea or whatever you like to drink.

Yes, I have enjoyed and savoring the online world a lot in the past decade. Have met and make great friendships along the way too.

For the past 10 years I had my share of fantastic meet-ups with people that used to be just pictures and names on the screen. The not-so-cool meet-ups were also part of the trade. Maybe it’s yin and yang…maybe it was just my luck, who knew for sure.

But since what happened in 2008, I found myself holding back a little from meeting these online friends/acquaintances in real life.

Chit chatting online and meeting in real life are different things and it always made me nervous.

Now that we’ve been living back fully in Jakarta for over a year now, I still don’t have that many friends in real life. Maybe I do suffer from being anti-social? Or I’m being too cautious? Could very well be!

One girl once told me “Hey, that mix couple group has regular gatherings in Jakarta, you should join them.”

Honestly, I’d rather not. Call me cynical but let’s be honest, most of these so-called Mrs. Bule clubs are full of women totting designer purses, while parading their real cleavages.

Networking or beauty/rich competition? You be the judge!

I would rather meet real people that I knew online who are not shallow and will not inspect me from head to toe to see if they can spot a designer label attached on me. Oh yes, they would all be super sweet in front of you but then starts gossiping about you behind your back. Come to think of it, it’s actually the ‘aftermath’ that I can’t stand.

Back in the States, I had seen this type of ‘community’ and there were always cat fights involved so I had kept my distance since we moved out of the States in 2008 and since I was backstabbed. Again, not all of these women are like these of course there are still real genuine people that I am lucky to call as friends.

One of my best friends – who is still single btw – can’t believe how tough friendships between Mrs. Bule can be when I told her all about it. Well, it’s real kiddo! I think Bravo could come up with a hit reality series of Real Housewives featuring these Mrs. Bule!

Yeah, I think I’d rather be somewhat anti-social than be part of the soap operas.

How do you feel about meeting your ‘online friends’ in real life?

Weely Roundup – 4th Week of August

2010-08-24T04:38:53Z

August almost come to an end, how crazy is that?

I haven’t been online much since last week thanks to the nasty cold Lil’ A is having that caused a scary spiking fever for two days in a row. Not only that I think the darn cold made a hit on me too. With a sick toddler and a pounding headache, staying unplugged was the way to go.

Anyway here are some updates of our lives besides the darn cold.

If you happen to be at one of the 5 stars hotels in Jakarta – you might be seeing this picture. Yep, that’s Lil’ A picture on a banner. His uncle who has been abusing his nephew’s pictures ‘borrowed’ some for his hotel’s birthday package promotion. The original picture was taken by me on Lil’ A’s second birthday party back in Florida.
Lil’ A’s pictures also made a cameo appearance on Time Out Jakarta magazine for their August edition. No, he’s not doing professional modeling or some sorts. They just got interested in using his pictures.
DH is in Serbia for yet another business trip probably until next month, in his field a business trip cannot be defined so we had learned to be flexible. As much as I understand it is part of his job, I really wish the company would let him take his annual leave soon. He needs a break!
My father is recovering greatly after they did some laser on his eye. If you remember, he had some problems with one of the blood vessel on his right eye and the doctor suggested laser treatment. He’s still in Johannesburg right now but recovering really well. Thank you for all your supports and prayers.
Last week I had my first guest post over at Our Mommyhood. Do check it out, it’s my first guest post on an English based site so I was pretty nervous about it.
My photos for The Holiday Inn Photo Competition are still up for voting on Facebook until September 12. We’ve been getting pretty good votes in, so if you had vote thank you very much and if you care to vote please follow this link and here’s a screen shot on how to find the tiny vote button. This mama can use some getaway to Bali!

From the toddlerhood phase: The boy has been saying that one magic line “I don’t like…“(fill the dots accordingly). Usually it will come out during meal times. “I don’t like veggies!” followed by mouth shut. Can someone tell me that this too shall pass?

How was your week? Did you guys do anything fun on your weekend?

How Eat, Pray, Love Will Not Ruined Bali

2010-08-23T05:21:35Z

With all the hype of Gilbert’s book turned into movie starring Julia Roberts, I came to read one article on why the book will ruined Bali.

As some of you who had read the book or had catches a glimpse of the movie’s trailer, Gilbert did take the Love part to Bali.

Personally, I wasn’t very impressed with the book when I first read it 2 years ago. I skipped most part to read the last chapter simply because it have Bali on it. I was biased when I read the book – somewhat turned off after finding out Gilbert already had the book deal under her belt prior to do all these ‘life-changing’ journeys. Alas, it could be one of every writer’s dream to secured a deal then ventured out to write yet to me it feels like it tainted some of the authenticity of the story.

Yes, she did experienced everything written on that book but personally, I think a genuine memoir would be better when it first written before a book deal.

Regardless, I can’t wait to see the movie and gulping down as much Bali as I can since I love that island.

Anyway, the article I mentioned before said she’s ruining Bali by ‘opening the gate’ to middle aged women invaded Ubud, Bali, looking to emulate Gilbert’s enlightenment.

Really?

If you know more about Bali and how it’s living breathing from tourism then you wouldn’t think so!

The movie may failed in the critics eyes, the story lame…whatever but if the movie means that it will boost tourism for that island then so be it.

Last time I was there in 2004, remains of two major bombings were still too vivid. The island suffered tremendously almost in a comatose state after the bloody bombing attacks. Economy suffers. Simply put, no tourists means some people just can’t bring the dough to feed their families.

So now when everything is pretty much back to normal, some highlights in Hollywood movie will definitely bring more incomes to the local Balinese, to its tourism industry.

You will get obnoxious tourits everywhere regardless and I really couldn’t care if they are middle aged or hippies surfers. They are tourists = income to the local communities.

If crowds really isn’t your thing and believe me it can get pretty crowded down there in Bali then feel free to explore Bali’s neighboring island, Lombok for example. There are plenty of ‘hidden gems’ in Indonesia.

So I say let them middle age-caftan wearing-soul-searching-love-hunger women comes to Bali any day!

Married To A Bule = Easy Life, Think Again!

2010-08-20T13:01:52Z

photo credit: abooth202

“Laki lo kan bule!”….(You’re married to a white guy!)

It’s one line that I had heard a thousand times – well maybe not that much – but enough to pushed me to actually write about it. Why? Because of the typical misconception plenty of Indonesians have about being married to a foreigner.

First of all, being married to an American does not means you immediately being handed over a green card! Just to get there alone cost us plenty of money and although we were pretty lucky because my fiance visa was approved within 3 months it doesn’t stop there.

It took us over a year to get my green card in the mail and it involved our local senator. You bet it cost us money and last I heard, the fee were going up just to file for Adjustment of Status. They – the USCIS – will pretty much probe everything from criminal records, financial records to our health records.

Oh and being granted a green card doesn’t means that I’m automatically a citizen. First green card you will be given is called Conditional Resident Permit which is only good for two years. After that you must file for Removal of Conditions which means more paperwork and if you’re good to go (read: your marriage proofed to be solid & real enough) just then you will be given a 10 years green card.

Most people who is outside the mix marriage circles will not understand the process we had to go through to legalize everything. Read interesting facts about this topic over at my friend’s blog, Maryline.

Besides all these piles of paperwork, to survive living in a foreign country that you never been to is not a walk in a park either. It took a lot of adjustments.

If you’re looking to climb up the corporate American ladder, it’s not as easy as people thinks either. You must proven yourself first so all your fancy degrees won’t guarantee you a prominent career if you have no skills.

“Laki lo kan bule!”….(You’re married to a white guy!)

When I talked to others about my effort to return to the working world often times I heard the same question “Laki lo kan bule.” (You’re married to a white guy)

Huh? So..? Does that mean I’m not allowed to have dreams of my own or attempt to pursue it?

Being married to a white guy doesn’t mean that life comes easy for you or everything is being given to you on a silver platter.

How would you deal with these type of misconception? Have you ever been subjected to one?

I Dream Of These…

2010-08-19T06:33:14Z

What I would give to be lounging here…

Sipping something like this but preferably either Margarita or a smooth Tanqueray No. 10

Then admiring a view like this

But here I sit with a poor sick boy…yet my mind keep coming back to Bali.

This has been Wordless Wednesday entry and I cheated because all pictures were taken by my brother Reggy, who went to Bali last week for a business trip oh and he works in a hotel and they went for a photo shoot in Bali. How I envy you, brother!

Hop over to A Beautiful Mess to link up.

Happy 65th Independence Day, Indonesia

2010-08-21T08:35:52Z

Today Indonesia celebrates her 65th Independence Day after proclaiming its freedom from Japan (Japan took over Indonesia from Netherlands occupation in 1942) on August 17, 1945. Still young compare to some other countries but we’ve surely come a long way.

Unfortunately, because the day fall during the Ramadhan month, seems like there won’t be too much of traditional celebrations going on, sadly much like last year.

For fun, here are my top 10 reasons why I love my country:

My rich cultural background. Yes, I’m Indonesian but when people asks me where I’m from and I asked them to guessed they all failed miserably. My father is from Ambon one of the most beautiful island in Indonesia that I have sadly yet to visit, while my mother is originally came from Manadonese descents but I was born in Makassar. My family had hopped around quite awhile growing up which is something that I will forever treasure.
The foods – need I say more? With so many cultures there are too many delicious foods here.
The beaches and underwater wonders. Granted I haven’t visit all of Indonesia beaches but with over 17,000 islands you bet there are still a lot of virgins white sands beaches around. I don’t dive but I’ve heard and have seen so many breathtaking views from our underwater ecology like the ones in Manado and other islands. Diving is on my bucket list for sure and checking out these fantastic beaches. Can’t wait for my trip to Rote island this November!

Flores beach - photo courtesy of Mauricio

Sumba beach - photo courtesy of Mauricio
Living cost – depends on your chosen lifestyle – but moderately living cost in Indonesia is still considered much cheaper than in other countries.
The spas – oh how I love the spas here. From the fancy swanky ones to the ones that is dirt cheap.
Handicrafts and jewelries. Again, with so many different cultures Indonesia really have so much to offer when it comes to its traditional handicrafts. Some of my favorite necklaces are gems coming from Borneo.

Batik and other traditional weave textiles from all over Indonesia, not only beautiful but also timeless piece with rich historical culture stories behinds each patterns.
Habitat of some of the world’s endangered species such as the orangutans, komodo dragon, etc. I remember growing up in Borneo and seeing our little ‘neighbors’ the orangutans swinging from tree to tree. Those were precious moments that I will never forget.

Image from Greenpeace

Despite the glitz and glam of big city such as Jakarta there are still people who live and dress like this in Irian. It shows cultural diversity. Traditions still plays important roles in plenty of Indonesian people lives.

Image from Incito Tour

The smiles – Indonesians are generally a very friendly people. Yes, of course there are bad apples everywhere but in general people here are friendly and smiles a lot.

Yes, as a developing country there are still so much work to be done to bring this country into a better future, there are still things that irked me to death but I still love this country with every ounce of my being.

Happy birthday, Indonesia!

The song above still brought tears to my eyes – try listening to it when you’re thousands miles away from home!

Pickin’ My Battles

2010-08-17T08:03:33Z

Any mother of a toddler – well maybe all mothers – will know that we are constantly have to pick our battle when it comes to our children, right?

Dealing with a very strong headed little boy who’s not even 4 – he’ll 4 soon enough on December.

It’s a constant bargaining, tugging and bending…

When it comes to pickin’ my battles I had surrender when it comes to these:

Scenario: Bath times. Lil’ A: “Don’t wash my hair!” His Mommy: Sniffin’ on his curls if there’s no noticeable smells then the shampoo will be put back in the shelf.
Upon going places, he will pick his own shoes and often times will pick his Thomas boots – even when it’s not raining outside. Even when he already picked on a spiderman t-shirt and a stripes short. Talk about fashion hit and run!
When he wants to strip himself half naked because it’s too hot. Hey, who could blame him! I would do the same thing if it won’t be such a scary view!
When he insisted that no one should touch his creation of block tower. What can I say, he’s an architect/engineer in the making!
When he just wants to listen to his Toy Story from the DVD while he’s busy playing with his train. God only knows if that DVD player can scream it surely will. He just needs the sounds!
When we went out to eat with relatives. One of them is slurping their noodle so the toddler thinks it’s fun to do the same. Breathe in-breathe out tried to ignore the sounds. Hey, besides you can’t correct it in-front of the perpetrator right?
When he thinks it’s more fun to break that free crayon he got at a restaurant to pieces after he’s bored drawing. He made a mess but oh well…

These are just some that I can think of but there’s been plenty of backin’ down on my part that I failed to remember – blame mommy brain – but yeah, once in awhile it is definitely necessary to pick your own battles when it comes to toddlerhood.