Master of good taste and subtlety that he is, I am in no way surprised that Quentin Tarantino has finally found his way into angling, care of these Reservoir Dogs fishing lures…

“Walk the dog gangster-style with bullet-ridden lures from the American crime classic…Available in character alias colours (Mr Orange, Mr Pink, Mr White and Mr Blonde) these 4.5 inch long lures deliver an intense walking action that is sure to deliver explosive top water strikes. ‘Four Perfect Killers. Assembled to pull off the perfect crime’.”

Can’t beat old Quent for that all-important “intense walking action”.

Click on the image to see the product in all its squalo glory and stay tuned for the Inglourious Basterds Nymph Collection. Each fly under my command owes me 100 trout. And I want my trout…

It’s an eye-catching photo as it is. Man as old as time, basking by water, using saplings for fishing rods (click on the image to enlarge it).

Are there still guys like him around, you may even ask yourself.

Then you notice the date. 1910.

Now, I’m no photographer: the ways of computer imagery are largely opaque to me. As a cynic, however, I’m a little more accomplished.

Maybe it’s a fake. Maybe it isn’t. Feel free to say so if you think I’m about to be had.

Until then, I shall give old Ivan and his photographer the benefit of the doubt and marvel at the possibility of an ancient fragment of time so vividly brought to life. Sunny, tranquil Russia, 1910. What could possibly go wrong…?

[pic courtesy of Sergey Prokudin-Gorsky]

One of the less heralded fly-fishing blogs, Fishing for History nevertheless continues to come up with some of the best stories.

Pride of place this week must go to its tip-off for The Van Buren Boys’ Blog. It may sound like a PR vehicle for a bluegrass band but it’s actually the work of “…five dedicated craftsmen working together to create a fishing exhibit for the Martin Van Buren National Historic Site in Kinderhook, New York. Martin Van Buren was the 8th President of the United States…”

Not to mention an angler whose prowess the VBBs feel has been lamentably underestimated by history.

And the men who make up this eclectic quintet?

“Dr. Todd Larsen…will be writing the history of Van Buren and Fishing.

Dr. John Elder …will be charged with constructing an 1850s-period Porter General rod and a period tackle box.

Philip Allen…will be in charge of constructing period 1850s metal spinners and flights, which Van Buren used for muscky fishing on the St. Lawrence.

Royce Stearns…will be tying period 1850s flies.

Dr. Michael Hackney…will be reproducing a period 1850s fishing reel in brass and constructing a horsehair line.”

Something tells me I’d be better off socialising with these guys individually rather than collectively. In the spirit of historical research, though, I’m happy to plug what appears to be the solitary gap in their reconstructive endeavours.

I have sourced the period 1850s Martin Van Buren hairpiece.

Three great ways for the hunter-gatherer to cover unsightly patches on the wall and only 2,300 points needed to relieve Miller Brewing Co of all three, 18 x 24in, ‘Hang ‘Em High (Life)’ posters.

That equates to eight 30-can packs of Miller High Life or Miller High Life Light, incidentally.

And anyone who thinks a woman sitting on the moon has nothing whatsoever to do with field sports clearly has no idea of the things you’re seeing by the time you reach can number 240…

Because the need for banana leaves means that getting hold of trout isn’t my principal stumbling block.

And there aren’t many trout recipes of which I can say that…

“4 medium sized whole Trout cleaned (keep the head and tail if you want to take a picture afterwards or if you are serving to guests)

Butter /oil for brushing

Banana leaves – make sure the pieces are big enough to wrap the fish in.

For the marinade

• 1 tbsp black peppercorns
• 7-8 cloves of garlic
• 1 tbsp rosemary
• 6 tbsp lemon juice
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp paprika
• Salt to taste

For the stuffing

• thin round Onion slices – 8 pieces
• thin round lime slices – 8 pieces
• a few Slit green chili peppers
• thinly sliced ginger pieces – 8 pieces

a few curry leaves”

Hope it tastes better than it looks, mind…

After all, look how Formula One mechanic turned sculptor Alastair Gibson turned out, in this amazing union between The Quiet Sport and A Very Noisy One:

“RACING BROWN SCULPTURE SPEC

Racing brown is inspired by race car design and technology, capturing its recognisable shape in fine detail.
All parts and materials used in this sculpture are from BAR and Honda Grand Prix cars as listed below. Based on the brown trout, River Tarrant, Dorset, England”

Note those spec details carefully at the link. This may be the only connection you ever find between Jenson Button and trout.

And just how many times, I wonder, has Alastair’s old boss scrolled through his site and thought, “I wondered where those 7075 machined aluminium plugs got to…”

I won’t pretend to have a clue about what goes into fish taxidermy but I suspect Paper Trout will work out a whole lot quicker, cleaner and (goodbye stuffing, hello fresh air) cheaper.

If it catches on, I see the day when you simply email a photo and dimensions of the dream fish you’ve caught and Yoshikazu Fujioka will send you the component panels and full instructions for assembling a permanent, papery keepsake of your pride and joy.

No need for a glass case, either.

The excellent Midcurrent asks the question and I believe the angler photographed offers the perfect response.

Look like that and I strongly suspect that even the most gnarled and world-weary guide will be putty in your hands. A trouble-free guided trip, guaranteed. As long as you’re good with a doting puppy…

“Congratulations, fly-fisher,” an Outdoor Foundation/Recreational Boating and Fishing Foundation survey report tells me.

Sometimes, it falls just perfectly.

Not only is the message apt.

Not only do you know exactly where on your kitchen wall it can go.

But the illustrator has even been so good as to get your name in there.

Bless you, Michael Brinkley.

Although I suspect that won’t be my wife’s immediate reaction.