Larry says  “I think the personal contact and helping him get into the mindset that he can make a choice are two reasons why it’s worked so far”. Makes sense to me.  I know that personal contact can make a difference.  I work hard to develop a relationship with my students and making students aware of the fact that they have an option of having a good day or not may make the difference. I’m certainly going to try Larry’s strategy. In fact, I’m going to try it tomorrow morning. I’ll  let you know how it going.  If you give it a try, please let me know how it goes.

I believe our task is to give every girl, every parent, and every teacher a shared , public language to address girls’ conflicts and relationships. A world that acknowledges the hidden culture of girls’ aggression would empowers girls not only to negotiate conflict, but to define relationships in new healthier ways. (Rachel Simmins, p.261)

I’ve accepted the challenge of doing what I can using my blog to help give a shared, public language to address the issue of girls bullying girls. Often girls bullying girls isn’t taken seriously at all. There isn’t a good general understanding about the issue of relational aggression, the form of bullying most common with girls.

I came across this video that helps begin to explain the phenomenon of girls bullying girls and want to share it with you. I found it amazing to think that 5% of girls skip school on any given day because they’ve been bullied. Come to think of it though, I’ve had students like that. They were bullied in school and stopped coming to class or even to school to the point where social workers and counseling had to get involved to try to get to the bottom of the issue and give support to the victim as well as the bully. Both the victim and the bully need our support.

If you know of any other resources that would be useful, please leave the link as a comment. We need to get the word out.

Reference
Simmons, Rachel. (2002) Odd Girl Out Orlando:Harcourt,Inc.
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That’s a threat and that’s a form of bullying. Janet’s  trying to get her way by threatening me.  The implication is that I don’t want to get her mad because … so I’d better let her  do what she wants to do.  She’s obviously learned this tactic somewhere.  Kids like Janet who try to bully teachers by threatening to get mad need to be told that threatening to get mad is a form of bullying and that tactic  needs to stop.  Bully is not an acceptable behaviour.  Period.  If she does it again,  I will  take the threat to administration.  She needs to know that what she does is a form of bullying and that bullying is unacceptable.

Other articles about bullying

Stopping bullying in my classroom

Bullying is a cry for help we’d better listen

911 for kids who bully

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying Part 1- relational aggression

Students with learning disabilities or ADHD are more at risk of being bullied

Cyber-bullying- educationing kids is better than incarcerating them

When I talked to Sam, not her real name,  in the hall about the inappropriateness of what she was doing,  she told me that telling the student to move or she’d smack her in the side of her head was her way of saying please.  Obviously, I got administration involved, and Sam was removed from my class.

Sam needs to stop her bullying behaviour.  There’s no doubt about that. She needs help.  We have an anti-bullying policy at our school and are committed to providing a positive climate for learning so Sam will definitely  get the message that her bullying behaviour is not acceptable.  I’ve made it clear that I want my classroom to be a safe place for all of my students and any behaviour that threatens that is not acceptable and has to stop.

I just want to add here that Sam’s just a kid and has learned this behaviour somewhere.  Both the victim and the bully need our support.The school system along with the  other adults in her life need to help Sam learn more appropriate ways to deal with her anger and  get her needs met.  She cannot continue to threaten to hurt people to get her way.  Next week, I hope to  find out how that is going to be done.

Some other posts about bullying

Bullying is a cry for help we’d better listen

911 for kids who bully

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying Part 1- relational aggression

Students with learning disabilities or ADHD are more at risk of being bullied

Cyber-bullying- educationing kids is better than incarcerating them

LONDON, ONT. – The public health unit in London, Ont., is using comic book-themed superheroes and a villain named the evil “Sperminator” to teach teens about safe sex.

Visitors to their website can play the game “Adventures in Sex City,” by choosing one of the characters: Wonder Vag, Willy the Kid, Power Pap or Captain Condom.

The goal is to then correctly answer 25 questions about sexual health and defeat the evil Sperminator, a character with penises for arms.  (healthzone.ca)

When I took a look at it,  I’m not sure what to think. What do you think?

There is a warning when you go to play the game that it is intended for mature teen audiences, but  aren’t immature teens engaging in sex and need to know this info if they choose to be sexuality active?

If teens are going to engage in sex,  it is important that they know about safe sex. I’m not advocating teens have sex, but if they are and many do, I want them to know about safe sex. As adults we owe them that.

I start by giving them a chart that lists the days of the week and the different times of the day and then ask them to record all their activities and the times they would do them. I just have them do it for one week. Then I help them schedule their homework into the open time slots. Amazingly, this works. I help them “see” the available time slots. Sometimes this involves a bit of rearranging of activities on the part of the student, but usually by the time we’re finished the student is satisfied with the homework schedule. They think it reasonable, and that’s half the battle. They don’t feel homework interferes with their life or that life interferes with their homework.

I suggest that the students tell their friends that they’re busy during the time allotted to do homework so they won’t be disturbed at that time. That shouldn’t be a big deal because they already have scheduled time to talk to friends anyway. I also suggest they don’t do any homework after 10 pm.

Some students schedule homework the same day everyday. Others schedule homework a different time every day. I leave it up to them. It has to be their plan for it to work. Of course we revisit the schedule after the first few weeks and rejig it where necessary.

The point I am trying to make here for my students is that homework can be worked into their lives. Homework doesn’t mean they have to give up the things they like or have to do. I talk about doing things in moderation- homework included. I tell them I try to achieve a balance in my life, and I think they should strive to do the same. Being a student is only part of their lives. Being a teacher is only part of mine. I think we understand one another.

After we watch the slide show,  I have my students set their own short term, medium term and long term goals using the graphic organizer below.

Smart Goal Setting Organizer

If you’d like this as well,  just ask and I’ll send it to you as an attachment.

I’ve always had good results with this activity.  We will revisit their goals during the semester to see how things are going and to set more goals.

Sometimes students will work on projects and assignments but for any number of reasons don’t submit the assignments for evaluation. They  seem to run out of energy, interest or whatever  and just give up. I’m always encouraging them to submit things  so I can give them the marks they’ve earned. I’m constantly telling  them if they don’t hand things in it makes it very difficult for me to find marks to give them.  I don’t find it useful to tell them that if they don’t hand work in they’ll fail.  They’re used to hearing that.  They’re used to failing. I take a different approach. I tell them they have to help me find the marks they need to pass them.  Yes, of course it would be nice if my  students just wanted to learn for the sake of learning, but that’s not the way it is for some students.  I have to start where from where my students are.

I used to get very frustrated when I would see my students working on assignments  in class and then not submit  them for evaluation.  In fact, it used to drive me crazy.  I’ve  learned to observe and record their  progress during the time they work in class  so that if for some reason they don’t  submit an assignment,   I still have some sense of their progress and can evaluate what I have seen. Believe me,  there are many reasons why assignments don’t get handed in. Not completing them  is only one reason.

It’s important to know that some of my more reluctant/struggling students are not interested in getting high marks.  They feel they’ve  aced the course when they get  51%.  I know because they’ve told me this.  Of course I encourage my students  to do more than the bare minimum and will often tell them they’ve made a good start.  Then, I encourage them to improve  their work  by suggesting  if they just changed this a bit here or expanded on that a bit there I could find more marks to give them.  Believe me.  It works.

I’ll admit this whole idea of finding marks to give students for assignments they have or have not submitted can seem a bit strange.  But, and this is a big but, I teach students who are at-risk academically, and I need to think creatively to find ways to motivate them and give them the support they need  so they can find their way to success.  That’s what makes teaching so rewarding.

Here’s why I started laughing out loud at myself.

• I love to read books, magazines, newspapers, cereal boxes etc.  Now I download books, newspapers, and magazines from the net and read them on my laptop, netbook or iPod.
• I’m always behind in my reading. So many books and so little time.  Now I catch up on my reading by listening to ebooks I download. (No more excuses about using the elliptical trainer boring)
• I love doing jigsaw and crossword puzzles.  Now I down load jigsaw puzzles and do them on my laptop or netbook.
• I love listening to the radio. Now I listen to it  on my laptop, netbook or iPod.
• I love trivia so I was always consulting my set of encyclopedias.  Now I ask google my questions and download the answers.
• I love to knit but find it difficult to find patterns I like in my local yarn shop.  Now I find patterns I like on-line  and  download them.  Many of the patterns are free.
• I find shopping mostly a frustrating experience so now I do more and more  of my shopping  on-line.
• I love learning new things so I’m forever downloading podcasts and videos.

Are you laughing out loud with me yet?

Those are just the things I do on-line that aren’t work related.  I spend hours on line looking for ways to engage my more reluctant/struggling students.  I’ve downloaded all kinds of teaching tools and learning tools. I spend writing this blog and reading many others.

Tracy suggested I consider the new media in all its  forms as part of students’  lives and not something  separate from their lives,  something that takes away from their lives or something that creates a huge imbalance in their lives.  I guess I’d have to say that the new media is a really big part of my life, a really valuable tool that helps me keep my life balanced.

LOL!!!

Image thanks to mahalo

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No wonder some of my student seem dead tired in school. School itself is a full time job. Now that kids are spending more time with media these days than time on school, it’s a wonder students have time to do any homework at all. I guess should be impressed with the marks they do get! Research determined that marks for heavy media users are lower than marks for light media users. although, more research needs to be done to determine if there is a definite cause and effect.

Years ago I remember reading that when kids spend 24 hours a week on a part time job their grades go down significantly because it’s too much for kids to manage. Fifry three hours a week on media must be way, way too much. When do kids sleep? No wonder some of my students aren’t coping. I don’t think I could do my job very well if I spent 53 hours on media either. I tell my students school is their job, and they shouldn’t let anything interfere with their job.

Kids spend most of their time on their cell phones checking out Facebook,MySpace, texting, playing video games, watching TV and listening to music. They actually don’t spend much time actually talking on their cell phones. Those 53 hours kids spend on media takes away from family time. Communication between parents and kids is almost non existent. I can remember before my son, Chris, got his license, I had to drive him every where. Bus service was almost non-existent in our community at that time. We used to talk about things while we were together in the car. I can remember thinking it would be great when Chris gets his license and can drive so that I won’t have to take him everywhere. It turned out to be great on one hand, but wasn’t on the other. Since he drove himself to whereever he had to go, we didn’t have that time together in the car to talk about things. I came to really miss that time. I felt I’d lost something precious. I would imagine now if I were driving Chris, we might not have those conversations because he would be wrapped up in his iPhone or Ipod or iSomething or other. That would be a shame.

Parents of course can limit the time kids get to spend on media. Some parents block incoming messages during homework time and after 11:00 pm. that sems like a good idea. I just had a thought. Teachers in schools have been encouraged to use web based tools as productivity tools to teach with and as a cognitive means to support learning. If using web based technology really catches on in schools so that all teachers use it in their classrooms to teach and to have their students create and demonstrate learning, how many hours a week will kids then spend using media 63, 73 ???. It’s kind of scary. Is that a good thing. I’m not sure.

Photo thanks to azureon2