Engaging Everyday Life

Blog site has moved.

2013-04-15T18:39:00.001-05:00

My blog site has move and will now be found at www.darrendake.com Please follow the link and subscribe there.

Be blessed......

10 Critical Points of Productive Leadership

2012-07-12T16:20:00.000-05:00

www.darrendake.com

One important aspect of finding happiness is to be productive. However, it is not just happiness that is desired; but to be fruitful, to matter, to make a difference, and to find meaning in productivity. Leaders are productive people, by their very nature a good leader is and must be productive. Productivity always comes first, but remember, productivity is part of the journey as well as the final destination.

1. Productive people accept the pressures of chronic discontent.

Productive people are willing to be somewhat chronically dissatisfied. In a productive ministry, business, or charity, one continually feels the pressure of not doing enough or getting it exactly right. In life, it is much easier to lower ones standards and to settle for lower levels of productivity. But in a situation where someone is happy with the way things are, nothing is likely to change. For leaders to be visionaries they must be discontent with where they are in order to desire going somewhere else. Discontentment is based on a comparison of what an individual’s life is at any point in time as it relates to the vision that God has given him.

2. Productive people have specific visions and goals.

Many people have visions and goals, but productive people have very specific and defined visions broke down into specific steps, behaviors, and goals so that their work accomplishes their vision.

Vision generates productivity when two things happen.

· First; When they are made specific

· Second; When they are connected to action

3. Productive people fast before feasting

Here is a concept that is lost on the world. Delayed gratification is a lost art these days. The idea of work first and celebrate or reward second, does not happen very often. But productive people know how to have delayed gratification. This is a Biblical principal, it simply means that one has to work hard and be productive for now, and maybe do some things he really does not want to do, to see the bigger reward later.

· There is no achievement in the ministry or business that occurs without pain. This means hard work, sacrifice, deprivation – things one would like to avoid.

4. Productive people tell themselves good news

They understand the Biblical value of a positive thought life

“Whatever things are true, whatever things a noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report…..think on these things.. Philippians 4:8

Proverbs says; As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Now I’m not saying you should lie to yourself; if you fail at something, get bad news, or something just didn’t work out, recognize it for what it was and move on. But don’t dwell on the bad, move past it quickly…

5. Productive people hold themselves accountable.

Productive leaders take responsibility for results and outcomes. They understand that what they do makes a difference. Non-Productive leaders seem to see everything as being in God’s hands and suggest that, if it’s God’s will it will turn out right, if it’s not God’s will then it won’t. They leave it all to God. That is just another way of avoiding accountability and responsibility for their part of the equation.

God is Sovereign, but He expects you to do your part as He has given you the authority. Productive people hold themselves responsible for everything leading to the moment when God takes over and , by His Holy Spirit, achieves the results.

6. Productive people ignore unfair criticism

This is HUGE. To be a productive leader, do not wear your feelings on your sleeve. You are going to get darts shot at you when you’re on top because you make an easy target, expect criticism and ignore it. When you pursue the vision that God has given you, you will most likely rub some people the wrong way.

Remember, there is a strong principal both in Scripture and psychology that productive people frequently cut against the grain of less productive people. Their dreams are beyond the dreams of normal people, their self confidence will be mis-understood, and their discontent will be unsettling. So they draw criticism.

7. Productive people keep a tight focus..

Productive leaders are not easily distracted from the basic core of their work. The ability of a man or woman to get a single minded, godly purpose generates tremendous power. Highly effective leaders understand that they cannot do everything, so they focus on the basic theme or core of God’s work in their lives, and delegate the rest. Highly effective people are many times described as obsessive.

8. Productive people find and join a conspiracy of mutual support

I like to call this Master Mind Groups.

· Find like minded people that you admire and look up to

· People you want to learn from

· Start a group that meets regularly to discuss topics

Develop a mastermind group of about 5 people other than yourself. The first one may be hard to find, but keep trying. Find positive upbeat people that will keep you and everyone else uplifted. The last thing you want is someone that dumps a load of trash on you all the time.

Leaders and ministers need to find and be around people who will believe in them and team with them in a mutual conspiracy for good works.

Know This: If you want to know where you will be five years from now, look at the people you hang around with the most. The influence of their lives will bring you up or down.

9. Productive people don’t sweat the small stuff

This is another way of saying, keep the big stuff in mind. It does not mean ignore the details, it means to keep clearly in mind what it is your working toward. Productive people are able to keep the big picture in mind of what they are doing for God, while at the same time not be carried off by the grand design and lose focus. It’s like the saying, you can’t see the forest for the trees. Get a handle on the small things, delegate them, or forget them. But manage them correctly and keep on track toward the main goal.

10. Productive People take time to recharge the battery, get some rest, and enjoy the trip

God does not want the leader’s life to be all drudgery, all obsessive focus, all work. God engineered man to need rest, to relax, and to have recreation. No job on the “to do list” is so important that God wants you to neglect your family. You must find balance in your life. Good time management skills and sitting priorities are vital. Yes the mission is important, but not at the cost of your health or the health of your family unit.

QUESTION: What experience have you had with productivity issues and how have you overcome them ? Leave us a comment so that others can be involved..

Copy Right 2012 Darren Dake and Darren Dake Ministries

Leave Familiar and Lead to Greatness

2012-07-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

www.darrendake.com

Are you tired of the familiar ? Are you convinced that you were created for more, or at least sure hope you were ? In this great book written by Bruce Wilkinson, Dream Giver, takes us on a journey through parable of a little man named Ordinary as he leaves his old boring life and sets out on an adventure to find what he was created for.

Buy it Here

Dream Giver is a book that relates to all of us looking for more. How many times in your life have you thought, there must be more than this to my life ? You have big dreams and goals, or should I say, you had big dreams and goals. Somewhere along the way you were domesticated, broken, and all your fire and ambition left you. That’s not where God wants you. He created you and all of us for greatness.

Take a day and just reflect on your life and recall those great ambitions you once had. It’s not too late to find that fire again. All it takes is a decision by you to fight for it.

Pick up a copy of this great little book and rekindle that spark. I have not in any way been asked to endorse this book, nor am I financially tied to its sale in any way. I have simply read the book and have added it to my library and you should too.

Stop living in your land of familiar and set out on your adventure with the Dream Giver to find your big dream. It’s never too late to start again..

Question:

Have you read this book ? If so please give your review so that we can share in your insight.

Children addicted to porn; Yes even your child......

2012-06-29T16:41:00.001-05:00

www.darrendake.com

So let’s talk for a few minutes about childhood pornography addiction. What it is, how it can start and what the damage can be ? Most of those questions seem obvious I guess, but they really aren’t. They can be as varied and the children themselves. I heard an interview the other day, I do not remember with who, but he was stating that one in four girls are sexually violated in some way as a child, but surprising to me, 1 in 9 boys are. This can include everything from just being watched in the shower to an all out physical abuse. But anywhere in between can have an effect on the mental development of that child.

12 year old porn addict:

So where does the porn addiction come in. I’m speaking from experience here. Porn addiction in children is caused when the child is introduced to some form of sexual experience or arousal before they are mature enough to mentally process it. When this occurs the mind will naturally gravitate toward sexual thoughts. I was introduced, by accident at first, when I was twelve by an older boy that I caught in the act of self stimulation. (I cover this in my book Unrighteous available on amazon.) Not really knowing what I was seeing, I was still naturally aroused, that’s how God made us. But the downfall was I did not feel that I had an open enough relationship with my parents to ask them about it, so I wondered. I found porn one day along the road by our house and addiction was immediate.

Cause and affect:

God made us as sexual beings, but for a purpose and for our spouse. However, our body parts still work regardless of who or what is trying to start the engine if you will. I have read case studies and have worked with some investigations where children as young as six years old were addicted to porn and sexually active to some degree. The cause? Abuse of course. Someone started the engine before the car was fully build and it took off from there.

So what is the outcome of early childhood porn addiction. As you can imagine the list includes:

Ø Early loss of virginity

Ø Adolescent and teen pregnancy

Ø Sexual diseases

Ø Low self image and embarrassment

Ø Relationship issues as adults

Ø Commitment issues

Ø Sexual fear and insecurity with a spouse

And the lists goes on and on. The issue is not getting any better, in fact, it’s getting worse. Our society is more tolerant of sexual activity today than ever before and children have greater access to pornographic material today via internet through computer and smart phones. Without parental involvement and open lines of communication, children will continue to drown in guilt and lust as they damage a healthy sexual experience later in life.

The Question to you:

So I leave you with this question: What experience have you had with childhood pornography addiction. ? Please leave a comment and let us know…

Update Blog Format

2012-06-28T15:46:00.000-05:00

www.darrendake.com

In the coming weeks you will be seeing some changes to my format. I will be dedicating this blog space to blogs relevant to Christian living and everyday topics that affect Christians where they live. I will remain theologically sound, but this will not be a "preaching" platform, but rather a lively open discussion blog to share ideas and issues that affect Christians in and "everyday" way. We will talk about money, relationships, church leadership, business leadership, parenting, and many more topics. All through the lens of a Christian world view. Please share this blog site info with all your friends and repost on your social media groups. The larger network we build the more interaction we can have which will expand our views and topics.

Christians Have Lost Their Voice !

2012-05-29T18:12:00.003-05:00

www.darrendake.com

We as Christians are losing our voice. Why is that? It’s because we are not using it. 76% of Americans claim to be Christian, plus this nation was founded on Christian beliefs. But we are not standing up and taking charge of our Country.

I’m not wanting a church government, but I’m wanting what every American wants, the freedom to worship as I please. I think we are still guaranteed that right.. But when judges are removed from the bench and marriage counselors are sued simply because they refuse to condone same sex couples, we are losing our voice.When the Ten Commandments are removed from a courthouse in Alabama, even over the protest of many to satisfy the few, we are losing our voice.When our schools refuse to teach anything about God or Jesus, but will gladly teach same sex unions, Muslim beliefs , abortion, and evolution, we are losing our voice.

When we allow the government to spend tax dollars on abortion, supply money to groups and projects that directly undermine Christian values, we have lost our voice. In fact our current President, voted in by a majority I might add, did not want to display the nativity scene in the white house as it has been for decades. His reason, he didn’t want to offend anyone, and this man leads our Country, leading to what is my concern.

When we don’t remove ungodly politicians from office we are losing our voice. I have heard Christians tell me that they do not vote. I cover that in detail in my posting Should Christians Vote. When we do not stand up for God and godly values then we have lost our voice.

The Bible tells us that if we deny him among men, He will deny us..

Ever heard the term, the squeaky wheel gets the oil , well every minority group in America is squeaking louder than us.

I’m not preaching a Christian radical message, I’m simply pointing out that our country, which was founded on sound doctrine, has lost its voice. If Christians would once again stand up for Biblical principals this Country would be far better off than it is now.

No Christian is a perfect being, and God gave each of us free will to live as we choose. But when that right interferes with any group, other than Christians, there is trouble. But let a Christian be removed from office, fired, sued or humiliated, There’s joy in the streets..

My summary is this. Stand up for God and Christian beliefs. Don’t set out to harm anyone. Love everyone and show Godly love in all situation. But do not compromise Christian values to please the wheel.

Ambition vs. Arrogance

2012-05-15T06:55:00.000-05:00

This article is a reprint of an article by Pastor Steven Furtick. I felt that it was an awesome article and I agree with it so much that I had to share.........

Steven Furtick

StevenFurtick.com

Steven Furtick is the Lead Pastor of Elevation Church, an incredible move of God in Charlotte, NC with more than 9,000 in attendance each week among (soon-to-be) six locations. He is the author of the book, Sun Stand Still. He lives in Charlotte with his wife Holly and their three children, Elijah, Graham and Abbey.

Leadership Character: Ambition vs. Arrogance

Steven Furtick

Steven Furtick: "If you’re never accused of being arrogant, you’re [probably] not being ambitious enough."

There’s a word many Christians are afraid of. It’s almost a bad word. If you have it, many people assume it means you’re self-serving. Power hungry. But most of all, arrogant.

I’m talking about ambition.

It’s almost like if you want to excel at something or do big things with your life or organization, then you must have a God-complex. An all too elevated sense of self-importance.

There’s no denying that that’s definitely true in the case of some people. But I also fear that our fear of ambition is severely limiting other people who have been called to do great things for God. Why should we put a cap on their potential because some people can’t put a cap on their pride?

I’ve seen too many pastors settle for reaching hundreds when God called them to reach thousands. I’ve seen too many talented businessmen stop short of the impact God had called them to make on their field. All because they feared being thought of as ambitious.

So let’s clear this up once and for all: nowhere in the Bible is ambition condemned. Selfish ambition is definitely warned against. But ambition for the sake of God’s glory is not only condoned—it’s commended. It’s a required asset for anyone wanting to rise above the mass of men and do something extraordinary.

Ambition led Noah to build the ark. David to expand the borders of Israel. Solomon to build the Temple. Nehemiah to rebuild the walls. Paul to spread the gospel to the ends of the Earth.

I wonder if people accused them of being arrogant? Maybe. But then again, if you’re never accused of being arrogant, it’s probably a sign that you’re not being ambitious enough. You’re dreaming too small. Your goals are too easily attainable.

Let me free you: it’s OK to want to be the best at what you do. It’s OK to want to achieve as much as you can with your life for the sake of the God who gave it to you. I sincerely doubt God is going to look at you at the end of your life and say, “You did too much for me.” But I do sincerely believe that God is going to look at many people and say, “You were too 'humble' for your own good and the good of countless people you could have impacted if you'd had a little more ambition.”

Don’t let anyone ever tell you that ambition is synonymous with arrogance. Godly ambition is what God uses to do incredible things in our world.

If that makes you look arrogant, don’t back down from what God has called you to do. Instead, mourn for the people who are living so far beneath their potential that anything greater must be arrogance.

Fatherless Homes: Reasons and Impact.

2012-05-11T12:22:00.000-05:00

So where have all the daddies gone? I have been working on some research for an article that I am writing about the loss of father’s in the home and what impact it has on the family. I’m amazed by what I’ve found. A large portion of children are fatherless in America today; two main reasons exists for this trend. First, the working American father is gone all the time to work and/or play, although he may technically been considered in the home, he is not engaged in his children’s lives. This could be worse on the family than him actually not being in the home at all in some cases.

The second issue is the actual single mother home. This is an ever increasing trend among all races. However, African-American families experience this at a much higher rate than all other races combined. Many experts agree that this is a factor in gang expansion. Young boys are looking for acceptance and validation from other men, or at least older boys.

According to an article published by The Root.com 11-09-2010. 72% of African-American children are born to unwed mothers. They site many reasons for this, but the impact is the same. Children of fatherless homes are much more at risk for suicide, run away, behavior disorders, and high school dropout, just to list a few.

But why is this occurring? The number one reason is that the “family unit” is not looked on as important anymore. We , as a society, have allowed the degradation of the family to get to a point where it’s seen as a negative rather than a positive. It’s looked upon as “old fashion” or to “evangelical” for today’s world. The increase in casual sex, gay marriage, and similar symptoms are adding to the problem.

I read a book a couple years ago titled, “what if America were a Christian nation again”. I have to agree. Whether you are a Christian by faith or not, you must agree that the principles of family, love, mandates against sexual immorality, service to a higher authority, as well the basic context of the ten commandments, all make for a good society.

The cure for the fatherless home is simply stated but not always simply implemented. It is obvious that if America would put their values back into the Bible, as this nation was founded on, the problem would nearly disappear. But as l long as we continue to live against the Biblical foundations set forth for us to follow, the problem will only get worse.

Pray for my pet...................Really?

2012-05-04T19:13:00.000-05:00

I received a phone call the other night from a friend of mine asking me to pray for his dog. He told me that she was in an ICU unit of a large veterinarian clinic. He went on to tell me how this little dog had become such a huge part of his family since only he and his wife lived at home. He explain that since all the kids were grown, he guessed she has just become another one of the kids.

I joined him in praying for his dog and continued to remember her for several hours into the night. This got me to thinking. Does God really honor our prayers for animals, and will our pets go to heaven when they die? So like any good researcher these days, I posed the question on facebook, “ will our pets go to Heaven” and “will animals be in Heaven” . As you might imagine I received several comments.

But before we explore pets in Heaven let’s consider this idea of praying for our pets and livestock. This too is a bit subjective. God must value animals to a high degree, He made them before man. God has given us a command through the Proverbs in 12:10 to be kind to animals, saying a righteous man regards the life of his animal.

So the question posed was; is it appropriate to pray for sick, hurting, or lost animals. I’m going to say that it is. God has given man authority over every living thing and has instructed us how and why to pray. I believe that God is in the business of answering our prayers no matter how big or small. As in all prayers, God may decide to allow life to proceed without His intervention, but without prayer He surely would not intervene. As in all things, prayer is the key to all successful outcomes.

What farmer won’t pray over good crops, we accept that as okay prayer; so why not a sick dog or a lost cat, or a declining milk cow. If it is concerning for us, it is concerning to God. So keep praying for your pets and animals. God will is sovereign and His will is always accomplished, but asking for favor is always allowed.

Regular Church Attendance

2012-04-29T15:21:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than going into a garage makes you a car. But if you have even the slightest desire to have a more rewarding life in Christ you must attend church regularly. Now I’m not saying you have to be there every time the doors are unlocked and stay until the last deacon runs you out, but you do need to attend regularly. At least a couple times a week if your church offers it, if not find one that does, or attend two churches. What if I told you that you could only eat once a week, I think you’d fight me for it. So what makes you think being fed spiritually only once a week, or twice a month is any better for you?

Church attendance is Biblical and is for the edifying and strengthening of the body, just as food is to the fleshly body. We need to be fed the word of God on a regular diet for our spiritual body. Church attendance also helps our walk stay on that narrow road by surrounding us with Godly people.

Think about it this way, we are like those red hot coals in the fire pit. As long as we all stay together, we all stay hot. But take one out and set it aside and it will remain red hot for a while, but then as time goes on it will fade and start to cool until it goes luke warm, then cold. But pick that coal up and place it in the group of red hot coals and you will find in no time, its red hot and on fire once again. That’s the importance of church attendance.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians; bad company corrupts good character. The Bible also warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. So church attendance gets us around the right people, most of the time. Remember however, only sinners go to church, and all are on their journey to righteousness, so yoke up with those who are well on their way .

I don’t say you should not have any friends outside of the Christian faith. If we separate ourselves completely, then we cannot be the salt and the light for the world. But having the people you spend the most time with be like minded and of like faith, you will find it much easier to live a Godly life. Plus you should have a Christian accountability partner to help you on your journey.

Find a Bible based church if you are not already attending one and become involved. Your life will be richly blessed as you bless others and grow in your faith.

Are you a reader ?

2012-04-23T09:18:00.000-05:00

Are you a reader? I mean aside from blogs. Do you regularly read books of interest ? I am what many would call a book nerd. Yet I’m not a nerd at all, at least not in the since most would think of the definition. I learned, or most likely read, years ago the phrase; readers are leader, and leaders are readers - and I took it to heart.

Every year I set a goal to read a certain number of books over the next twelve months on specific topics. Some may be in my area of vocation, some may be in a new areas of interest, and some may just be fiction. But I read and I read a lot. Of course I read my Bible every morning and spend time each night reading books on my goal list.

I don’t decide in January exactly what books I will read, only that I will read a certain number of books in a specific category. The fun part is getting to look for that next great book. I read with a pen and paper close by. I mark up the book, write down notes, and copy phrases to look into further. Most books, if they are any good at all, are so marked up when I’m done they probably wouldn’t be good for anyone else.

If you are not an avid reader, let me exhort you to take a greater interest in this sport. You will be amazed at what you can learn and how it will help you in your career. I have learned over the last twenty-five years that the leaders are readers quote is true.

Find some books of interest and get started, you will be richly blessed.

Spiritual Hoarding

2012-04-21T09:16:00.000-05:00

I think we are all hoarders to some extent. Some of us call it “pack rats” but most of us save things that we think we may need later on. I’m a pretty organized person in most areas, but if you were to look in my garage I could probably be called a hoarder to some degree. But I just never know when, or if, I might need one of those valuable items.

Spiritual hoarding is just as bad or in most cases much worse than hoarding things. What do I mean by spiritual hoarding? All too often we want to hang on to past hurts, anger, pride, and jealously. These feelings of the past just hang around and are pilled in one mental closet or another and serve no purpose but to clutter up our mind.

Too often we want to take out some of these treasures and re-visit them. We re-live the pain and hurt that these feelings caused. We roll it around in our minds and justify our feelings. Then after our pity party we stick them back in the closet and close the door. We are so busy hanging on to our past hurts that we are hindered from growing in God. We want to complain about how horrible our childhood was and how angry we are with a parent or relative that we can’t see past the pain. We grumble and fuss, cry and complain, and rationalize our hurt. Then we wonder why it seems that God never hears our prayers.

In many cases we are still angry at people who are dead and can’t right their wrong, but we stay angry anyway. Or maybe that person just won’t right the wrong that they have caused. We forget sometimes that God has forgiven us of a great debt; and yet we won’t forgive another. We didn’t deserve to be forgiven, but He did anyway.

Other times its jealousy or pride that is holding us back; we deserved that promotion, we should get more recognition than we do. Hate and racisms is another weight that holds us down. Hate only serves to eat you up from the inside out. Your hatred for another human being does no harm to them but will eventually kill you; both physically and spiritually.

The weight of haughtiness and pride fills our minds with an unclear and most times, wrong view or ourselves. Keep in mind that the Bible warns us that pride comes before the fall, and you will fall every time and very publicly. God lets us build our selves up so that it is easy for everyone to watch as we are knocked off our pedestal.

Do some house cleaning today. Get rid of the junk you’re holding on to, give it to God and let Him deal with it. Free your mind of the clutter and grow.

Understanding Conflict Between Ministry Leaders

2012-01-23T14:44:00.002-06:00

In the real world, not everything goes well, not everyone is happy, there is always bad news as well as good, troubled waters as well as smooth.Very few ministry leaders fail because of their inability to deal with success. Typically, failure in ministry results from an inability to deal with problems.Conflict resolution within the church can be very difficult. Some action, even if that is deliberate non action, must take place.

Lets take a look at the 5 basic principles of conflict;

1. Conflict is normal and not all conflict is
bad.

Some conflict is creative and has real positive uses. Sometimes its just a matter of differing life styles or opinions. Resolved properly these can be very use full

2. Good conflict may deepen superficial relationships

Many times relationships are very shallow and people never get close enough to ever even have a conflict. Very often when a disagreement occurs the relationship between the two parties deepen, because they have come to know each other better.

3. Personal growth often occurs through dissonance

Dissonance simply means lack of agreement. Growth often occurs because the social turbulence causes people to look for resolution there fore resulting in personal growth.

Within the body of Christ and among men and women of goodwill, conflict is common, not always bad, and can have positive outcomes.

Scripture offer many examples of conflict in the new testament

4. A model of advocacy may appear to be contention when it is not
really conflict

This can be an effective way to reach decisions. If a group in a room brings together their own passionate opinions and each expresses them strongly. A disagreement can result.

But done correctly and in humility the end can result in a balanced and successfully outcome and decision.

5. There is a Biblical pattern for resolving conflict.

Matthew 18-15,16 gives a pattern for resolving conflict.

¹⁵ “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’^[^a^] ¹⁷ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Five Basic Causes of Conflict

1. Conflict is frequently because of unmatched expectations

These can lead to disappointment which leads to loss of confidence, and can arise from misunderstandings.

A different set of expectations of a leader, program, style, etc is a certain recipe for conflict

2. Conflict is caused by the mounting number of buried hurts,
slights, and insults.

These hurts are often times collected up and saved. Burying feelings , disappointments, personal injuries, etc is a deadly illness in the church. It is very unhealthy to bury your hurts..

They will come out someday and in a big way.

Many times conflict between two people in the church is from a gradual buildup of hurt and disappointment

3. A major cause of conflict is unexpressed fears. (and jealousy)

People may find themselves resisting others because of fears that may have never been expressed.

It is easy to become paranoid in the church. It is easy to be fearful about what might happen in situations involving other Christians.

If these fears are never expressed, they can never be countered, they can never be checked out, so they can never be resolved.

4. Competition for limited resources can cause conflict.

There is never enough money, time or attention in the work of the church.

Church leaders are many times placed in a situation where there is competition for your time and attention.

The leader must respond by constantly reassuring people in an atmosphere of fairness so that conflict won’t occur

If someone gets the feeling that they are not valued as highly as someone else, conflict will occur

5. Conflict escalates in a hostile and failing environment.

A psychological study shows that if people or animals are put in situations in which pain is delivered and discomfort is created, individuals or animals will always turn on each and start fighting

So basically when things are not going well they just get worse. Conflict will occur and resolve must be obtained. In a hostile environment people will lash out even when they are not meaning it personally or have any real reason for doing so.

Understanding what causes conflict will help us as leaders to understand how to deal with the problem and what if anything needs to be done at the time. Next time I will ocer how to handle conflict between ministry leaders..

Faith Without Works is Dead

2012-01-21T13:12:00.000-06:00

Faith Without Works is Dead

Faith without works is like a bird without wings; though she may hop around with her companions on earth, yet she will never fly with them to heaven. Francis Beaumont

The last topic we discussed on living a fulfilled Christian life was tithing on your income. You are called to tithe the first fruits of everything and that includes your time . I know that the world today is a twenty six hour day on a twenty four hour clock. No one has time for anything. Just how could we live without texting, email, and the microwave? Ask your Grandmother, she did it just fine. I know we are all very busy. Life today demands it in most professions, not to mention raising a family, church, and social events.

James tells us in James chapter two starting in verse fourteen and following that faith without works is dead. I understand that our salvation is not based on works and that we cannot work our way into Heaven by the good things we do. But if we have faith in Christ and do not work for the Kingdom of God, are we really disciples of Christ?

James continues to say that he will show his faith by his works, he goes on to say that it is good that we say we know God, but that even demons know God and tremble at His name. But if we say we have faith and do not have works, our faith is dead faith .

So what are the works James is referring to in this text? Well one example he gives is; if a brother or sister is naked and hungry and you simply pray for them and tell them to depart in peace, be warm and filled, but you do not give them what they are in need of , what has been accomplished?

As Christians wishing to live a successful and fulfilled life we must become involved in the work of the local church. This does not necessarily mean teaching or even being seen in the light. Churches by their very nature are organizations that require people to become involved in every level to ensure that they are successful. That may mean helping out on a work day, being on the kitchen fellowship committee, helping in the food bank or homeless shelter, or being an usher or greeter. Everything you do to show the love of Christ is Christian works.

Sitting in the pew and sneaking home at the altar call will not make for a fulfilled life. God wants you to become involved, become intentional about living a Godly life. Stop for just a moment and think about something that you are good at, that is the gift that God gave you, how can you use that gift to bless others and show the love of Christ ?

Are you a carpenter ? I bet a few older people in the church could use a blessing of some home repairs that they cannot afford to pay for. How about an auto mechanic ? You are always hearing of people with car trouble that they can’t afford the labor rates to have it fixed, the elderly, single parents, those on fixed incomes. Anything you do in the name of Jesus is a blessing to others. If you’re a stay at home mom maybe you have time to help someone clean their house, or maybe cook dinner once a week for an older couple.

God can use you to bless others if you will only take the time to find out where you can be used. Being used for good works and as a blessing to others, is essential in striving for a fulfilled Christian life. I have been told many stories where someone has set out to be a blessing in someone’s life and in return they themselves were blessed.

I read somewhere that Bible study alone will make carnal Christians, and it will not produce spirituality. It went on to explain that study without service produces Christians with judgmental attitudes and spiritual pride.

That’s the same reason a closed in pond will go stagnant. Water comes in, but none ever goes out. Without the outpouring of your faith through missions, evangelism, or ministry, your faith will go stagnant.

Remember, faith without works is dead faith.

New Year; Resolve not Resolutions

2012-01-04T08:34:00.000-06:00

As our New Year has gotten under way I wanted to speak for just a moment on the old practice of New Year Resolutions. You know the ones, we are going to lose 20 pounds, spend more time with family, pay off that credit card once and for all. But in most cases we have all but forgotten our plans by March.

It’s an industry fact that gyms and sports clubs make a large percentage of their membership income in the first two months of the year and then by summer are not spending any extra money on staff because the majority of the new members have never shown back up.

I suggest that rather than making resolutions, that we make resolve. Make a commitment. In the book of Philippians, Paul tells us that he is pushing toward the goals ahead. That is what I mean. Push toward your goals. The best way to accomplish this is to set your plans in God’s will and for His glory.

Let me give you an example. If you want to lose that next 20 pounds, make a commitment to God to lose the weight for a God honoring purpose and for His glory through testimony. Paying off your credit card will make you a better steward of your money so that you will have more for missions and work in the local church.

You see, making a resolve to do something is setting your mind on that idea with purpose and stubborn to the cause. Further, making the commitment to God is binding and is a strong motivator. I don’t want to purposely lie to God, do you?

Finally find an accountability partner. Someone you trust that you will agree can hold you to your goal. It is always better to put someone over you in reaching for your goals.

Finally, pray. In everything you do, pray. If you will pray and let God lead your path you will accomplish great things. Remember that in all you do, do it for the glory and honor of the Lord. Anything else is just selfish ambition

Take a moment and listen this..

2011-12-15T21:18:00.001-06:00

Reflecting

2011-12-15T21:07:00.004-06:00

I have sat here all evening working on a book that I'm writing and reflecting back on many periods in my life where God has seen me through so many uncertain times. I have reflected on becoming a young father and husband, leaving my family for military training and my years spent running from God. Not really a bad guy, just a luke warm guy. Not everyone is called to preach, teach, or sing. But we are all called to be a disciple of Christ and to live a life in pursuit of righteousness . God has seen me through all my years of running and has shaped and molded every detail of my life, for this time in my life. Although I entered the ministry at what many would consider late in life, it was all in God’s timing and for His purpose. It’s never too late to submit to what God has for you.My biggest burden is for the people living a life as I was for so many years. Believing that God won’t allow “good” people to go to hell. Can I tell you that hell is and will continue to be, full of good people. You see, Christianity is about a relationship, not a religion. If you are not developing and pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ, you are not serving out the one main calling on your life of being a disciple of Christ. Anyway, my reflection is just that I am glad to see that God had His hand on me this whole time and I am glad that the last several years has been for His service. I don’t really regret my beginning years I just wonder sometimes how much more I could have done for God if I had submitted to my calling sooner. Even if you’re not called to greater works, don’t delay your calling and Biblical mandate to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ, it could just cost you your eternity.

Living a full filling Christian Life

2011-12-12T17:32:00.000-06:00

Living a Full Filling Christian Life

A plan for success

Have you ever wondered why others in your church seem to be happier and have a closer relationship with God. Do you ever wonder why you just can’t seem to reach God or think that he is not paying any attention to you. I think that we all have been at that point some time in our Christian walk, well I’m going to share with you the formula to get the most out of life and the most out of God.

Everything I tell you is from experience and not just repeating what I’ve heard or re-spouting a sermon from somewhere, I have lived the mistakes that have proven to me what God wants for our lives.

What does God want for our lives ?

First and foremost God wants us to except the salvation of Jesus Christ. God does not desire that anyone should die and go to Hell. If He had wanted that He would not have created a plan of salvation for us..

God wants each of us to be happy and have joy in our lives. He expects that we prosper in everything we do. He also desires that we be worshippers and live by the teachings of Jesus Christ.

How do we achieve a victorious and full filling Christian life ?

I’m going to give you the formula for success in living a full filled life in Christ. It is a proven fact that if you follow this formula you will indeed succeed. A warning though, going into this formula half heartedly will not be successful, in fact you may very well fail altogether by altering or leaving out any part of the formula. However, by following this success plan you will have a very full filled life in Christ and be a joy filled Christian….

The Plan

Step One:

Control the Battle for your mind:

Satan uses three weapons for the control of your mind, if you can recognize and control these three areas then you are ahead of Satan. The weapons he uses are thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. Satan uses any of these three tools to control your actions. Understand and recognize this strategy and you can regain the control of your mind. Not understanding and recognizing what Satan is doing will lead to sin and failure. Not understanding this is why good Christians fail…

Prepare the ground for the battle and victory.

You must prepare the ground for the seed to be planted and a harvest to come. The ground that must be prepared is in your heart.. Hosea 10:12 says Sow yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy, break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the lord till he comes and rain righteousness upon you (KJV)

God will provide the seed, God will provide the water through the Holy Spirit. You must prepare your heart, God will not do that for you. He will not trespass upon you.

We are going the explore a few ways to prepare your heart.

Submit your Life to God

I don’t mean just a little bit here, I mean all and totally. Submission to God means a total life transformation. You can’t serve two masters and you can’t serve two God’s. Meaning the world and God. An old Indian saying talks about the fact that man has two dogs living within him, and are fighting to the death. The winner is the one you feed the most.

Feed your Godly spiritual life and you will be successful, neglect it and it will die.

Study the Word of God.

I can not express how important this area is. We have to read and study God’s word to understand what we believe and what God wants for our lives. It astounds me sometimes when I consider that the Bible is a divine collection of 66 books written by 40 authors over a period of 1500 years. It has the same thread message of salvation from cover to cover and all attempts to destroy it has failed, all attempts to prove it wrong has proved it right; and we can’t spend 30 minutes a day to read it…

Find a good daily Bible or a daily devotional. Read the Bible with a purpose. Before you start reading find a time and place that will be quite and you most likely will not be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. Then set aside this time every day to read and study your Bible.

Start with prayer and ask that God will open your mind and heart to receive the Word that you are about to read. Pray that the Word will be planted in your heart and will speak to you. Then read the portion for the day and then spend a few minutes meditating on God’s word and asking how that word applies to your life. End in prayer. Thank God for His word and ask for spiritual guidance throughout your day…

Tithing

Tithing is a subject that always brings up deep emotions and some preachers want to stay away from the subject. But let me tell you this truth. If you’re looking for a successful and fulfilled life in Christ you must be tithing.

How can you be filled with real joy and have a great relationship with God when you are stealing from him. Yes, I said stealing. The Bible is very clear, you are to give the first 10% of your increase back to God. It is all His to begin with, He sees that you get some but you are only allowed to keep 90%.

Tithing must also be done from a willing heart. Simply adding it to the list of bills to pay for the month and paying tithes out of pure obligation is not what God intended. I believe that you will receive some blessing for being obedient. But the greatest blessing’s come when you tithe your 10% and more because you want to and find real joy in doing so and giving back to God, that’s when real blessing’s will be poured out upon you…

Remember, I said that you cannot skip any step in the formula for success. Doing so will cause you to fail.

Become involved in Church and Church Activities

After submitting totally to God, studying and reading your Bible, and paying your tithes you still must be involved in a Church and Church activities. Being involved in your local Church is imperative in your Christian walk.

I Corinthians 15:33 says; Do not be mislead: “Bad company corrupts good character” NIV

Now this of course doesn’t mean that you have to seclude yourself from all non-Christian people. You should be a witness to the unsaved and un-churched. However, as stated in Romans 12:2 ; Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind…NIV

So the sum of it is this. Yes you will be involved with non Christian people in your life but you should be involved in church and church activities as much or more than you are other activities.

Being involved in Christian work keeps your mind focused on doing God’s work and will help you battle the control for your mind that I talked about earlier.

Another area of being involved in church is being in church. Do you attend church regular or sometimes. Do you go more than just on Sunday morning, do you attend Sunday School or just service? If church is second or third on your list of things to do on Sunday then you are already losing your victory.

Church attendance is crucial in developing your Christian life. People ask me, is going to church really that important, I can serve God without going to church? My answer is; can you? I don’t think that you can. Now this of course does not apply to those people that cannot physically be in church due to health or logistics. I’m referring to the people that choose not to attend church. What’s the difference ? Well, mainly it is the desire of your heart. If you chose to put God second on your list you will not live a very success life. How important is church, well take this example. A large set of red hot coals in your BBQ grill stay hot a very long time. Now take one coal out and lay it outside the grill. It will stay hot for a while, but very soon it will start to cool and the heat will die out. But take that coal and place it back in with the others and it will heat back up very quickly. Being in church keeps you on fire and keeps you in a state of worship.

A closing thought on church attendance. God does not want to be served and worshipped at your convenience. You have a choice, submit to serving God or not, there is no such thing as treading water when it comes to serving God. Treading water will lead to sinking..

In Closing

Although I went through each of these areas quickly I think that you can see the formula for success here. It is now your responsibility to follow this formula and develop it further in your own life. My prayer and hope for you is that God puts a conviction in your life to desire serving Him to your fullest. It is then that you will truly find what living a victorious Christian life is all about.

Doing my Best to Serve

Darren Dake

NFocus Design Change

2011-12-07T13:36:00.000-06:00

Good afternoon. By now I guess you all have noticed the name change and design layout change. NFocus Ministries is now up and in operation. Check out our web site at www.nfocuschurchleader.com . Also find us on facebook and twitter, both can be accessed from our home page.

NFocus’ mission is to help church leaders become better leaders, and better leaders become outstanding leaders. Church and Christian leadership has unique obstacles not found in traditional leadership experiences. That’s where we can help….

Please pass our web site along to church and Christian leaders that you know…

God Bless

Darren

Thanksgiving Blessing..

2011-11-23T16:13:00.000-06:00

To all my followers I would like to take a moment and wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Please take time these next few days to reflect on what you do have to be thank full for. Even in the worst of times you can find the blessings if you look. God is faithful and will bless. Sometimes we have to get out of the way to receive, but if you will just focus on Him and your relationship with Him, you’ll find blessing.

For any of you are close the Cuba, Missouri this weekend I’ll be preaching the morning service, (11 am) at Covenant Praise Church of God. For church info or directions go to

www.covenantpraise.com

Doing my best to serve, God Bless

Where I've been.......

2011-11-17T15:01:00.000-06:00

It’s been a while since I have posted and hope to be back regular now. A lot has happened since my last post and I have gotten a few questions as to where I’ve been and where my posts have been , so I will update you all and then promise that I will try to start posting more regular.

I have completed my ordination process with the Church of God, Clevland, TN and now hold the credentialing level of ordained minister. My wife and I are still battling this horrible dieses but God has been faithful and at the end of every rope we find ourselves sitting in God’s hands. I have been asked to be on staff at Covenant Praise Church of God in Cuba, Mo. where I serve the people as Administrative Pastor. I love the position and love the people. It gives me such a wonderful opportunity to serve in an area that I am comfortable in and where God has gifted me.

I recently completed a sermon series entitled becoming a Lion Chaser. It was based on the book, In a pit with a lion on a snowy day. I hope to recount some of those sermon notes here over the next few weeks.

God Bless.

Anger "who it really hurts"

2010-11-28T17:05:00.000-06:00

Recopied from an article written by Tammy Dake

“ When you remain angry and bitter at someone, you give them power and control over your life. They will continue on with their lives, while you obsess over what was done to you, how to get revenge on that person, and how to keep it from happening again. When you let go of that anger, their hold over you is released and you are free from them. Holding onto anger does not hurt the person you are angered at, but it hurts you. You’ll lose control over your own actions and good judgment.

Is it easy to rid yourself of anger and bitterness? No. It takes time and much meditation, but eventually, just as the sun will rise each day, the anger will be washed away. Shield yourself and learn to recognize future things that anger you and be quick to deflect the anger so that it cannot penetrate your heart again. Only then can you have complete control over yourself.”

That was very well said. If you are harboring anger toward someone make the conscious choice to release that anger. Jesus spoke many times on anger and forgiveness, in fact he spoke those very words on the cross. The Bible is clear that as humans we may at times become angry, it is a human emotion that is God given. The choice, “free will”, that we then have is whether we are going to have righteous anger or worldly. Then whether or not we are going to release that anger and move on.

Jesus taught us to forgive when we are wronged. That is more for our healing than for the other person. But, keep in mind that you are not required to continue being hurt by that person. Forgive them, let them know that you forgive them, and then move on. Don’t keep putting yourself in a position to be hurt by that person.

Matthew 6:14-15 says this. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespassing, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

During this Holiday season we will all be getting together with family, some of which we would just as soon not be around. Family has a way of hurting each other and then we just keep it going. I encourage you that if you have a family member that you need to forgive, do it this Holiday. If not for them, then for you, release the anger and start healing.

Spiritual Drifting

2010-07-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

I heard this sermon preached a couple weeks ago by our Senior Pastor and it was so striking I wanted to summarize it and bring it to you. He spoke on Spiritual drifting. Hebrews 2:1-3 warns against neglecting your salvation. It does not say rejecting it, but neglecting it. So many times we are all in danger of neglecting our salvation and we start to drift away from God.

Neglect will cause us to drift away unintentionally, unknowingly, and unexpectedly. Very few people purposely reject and turn away from God, but many many people just drift away slowing without really knowing it. Drifting is easy because it requires no effort, people are looking for an effortless religion. You can go to church every Sunday and still be drifting away from God.

Remember that drifting never takes you forward only backward. And it will always lead to a waterfall disaster in your life. That could be a loss of a job, a marriage, ministry, or family. In many of these cases sin can be traced back to the root cause. Everyone, including ministers have to guard against drifting. Life becomes one day after another and soon you find yourself, if your even looking, a long way from where you started.

Some signs of drifting are these. A lack of interest of Bible and Prayer, when you would rather spend time around non Christian people, when you can hear the truth and the word and it not affect you, when you begin to see your sin as no big deal and when we forget that ending well is as important and how we began.

We must be properly anchored so as not to drift when life’s storms come along. Otherwise when the storm is over we find ourselves way off course. If we don’t re-evaluate our course we just continue along off course all the while not realizing how far away from God we have gotten. Our anchor is the Bible and Prayer. Neglecting these will most assuredly float you off course.

Take the time to do a little self inventory. Are you drifting, are you where you should be in God? Matthew 7 speaks of the narrow road and narrow gate. Don’t try to walk the wide road and think that you can just jump over to the narrow gate at the end. Your life must be a Christian walk not a worldly walk claiming a Christian salvation in word only.

We all find ourselves drifting. God’s grace will pick us up and put us back on the right road if we simply recognize that we are off course and readjust our path.

Leaning on God

2010-03-07T12:00:00.000-06:00

Some of my readers are aware that my wife has been in and out of the hospital over the last couple weeks. This of course has delayed my postings a bit and I do apologize for that. I would also like to thank each of you for the prayers that have been offered and continue to ask that you hold Tammy up in prayer, as we know that her healing will take place through God. Whether He chooses to do a miracle in her life, or use the gifts of medical science which He has provided us. I should also tell you that this past year has made both of our faith stronger and we are trusting in the Lord. We may not like the situation that we are in but we are trusting.

As a husband it is hard to watch the person that you love so deeply go through the pain and problems that she is going through, and as a man, not being able to “fix” it as I have always tried to do, is also very difficult. I feel helpless and have no options but to lean upon the Lord for strength and encouragement. Yes, it does become difficult at times and in those times I ask that God renew my strength and give me the resources to be encouraged.

Prayer and studying the Bible is a great source of strength in times like this as well as encouragement of friends and readers like you. Be sure to encourage others as you see them in need, you too may need that encouragement some day.

Understand that God is grieved by our pain and suffering as well. At times He chooses not to fix a problem the way we think it should be fixed, but keep in mind that that is not up to us to decide, we may not understand the whole reason behind what is going on.

Also know that God does not cause suffering in this world. Sickness, child death, horrible accidents are not designed by God. Life happens. I believe that the world is on auto pilot so to speak and we are given free will to make choices in our lives that will results in consequences. Sin and corruption dominates this world and Christians, although should not consider themselves of this world are still very much part of this world and we will suffer right along with everyone else.

Old Testament times showed us very long life spans and dieses and sickness were few. But as sin and corruption continued in this world life spans shortened and dieses grew. Medical science can only do so much. Remember that Satan is currently allowed to roam the earth looking to whom he can devourer.

So know that God is still very much in control, but we are not immune to trials and suffering. Just lean on the Lord and He will give you strength to go through the valley that you are walking. Knowing that God will never leave you nor forsake you is a great encouragement for times such as these.

My post today was going to be on being a Consistent Christian but it seems that I was lead in another direction. I will post that discussion at another time..

God Bless

Who are you ? Image and Idenity

2010-02-06T10:28:00.000-06:00

The following is a reprint of a sermon reduced to summary by our youth Pastor, Dave Wild. The message was so relevant to our everyday lives that I asked him to share it with us..

Who are you? This is a question that only you and God can answer. Our image is our identity; this is how others see us. In too many cases people don’t know who they are, or more importantly who God would like us to be. The only way to know who God wants us to be is to ask him! Who better to ask than the one who knew us before we were even formed in our mother’s womb, (Jeremiah 1:5). If we go through life not asking, not knowing, then we will miss out on who we were designed to be, you will never develop into the one that God wants you to be…

If we don’t inquire of God about His plans for us, then we allow ourselves to be molded and shaped by others. This is very common in our society today, it’s called identity theft. This happens when we allow Satan to convince us to be someone we are not.

This is a common struggle even in the church today. We often make choices and decisions based on what we see, and because of this we try to justify what we do based on what we see someone else do. The bottom line is that we’ll all be held accountable for what we do, and I don’t think God will let us off the hook with the “ because I saw brother or sister so and so do it” excuse. “ They have been in church their whole life so it must be ok for me to do what they do”. This is another misconception.

We are all individuals, each one of us are uniquely different. Paul calls us peculiar and special. We, each individual, need to learn to ask God what is right for ourselves. Our choices and decisions are what shape and mold our image. Our image is not only what others see ,but also refers to our qualities like intellect and personality.

Genesis 1:26 says that we are all made in His image. This means that if we are a child of God then we should bear some resemblance to him. Just as most children have a likeness to their parents. It should be no different with our relationship with God.

I want to encourage you to inquire of God who He wants you to be and let Him be the one who molds you and shapes you ! Don’t let identity theft rob you of your future..