One of the greatest things about erotic novels is that they spread the notion that everyone deserves love and loves love, no matter your race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or size. But how do we make sure we are getting all the [...]]]> (This post was brought to you by the lovely folks at Adam and Eve.)

One of the greatest things about erotic novels is that they spread the notion that everyone deserves love and loves love, no matter your race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or size. But how do we make sure we are getting all the love in our lives that we possibly could?

Love Yourself

Love starts at home. There’s no way someone can truly love you if you’re not loving yourself, and I mean this in every single way possible. Do you believe in yourself, have self-confidence and self-worth?  The great thing about all of those qualities is that when you have them, you don’t even need someone to love you because your love is enough. But they also make finding love a whole lot easier, because you know what it looks like and what it should feel like. If you feel like you’re lacking a little in that department think about what you could do to fix it. Make a life change, make an appointment to see a counselor, do whatever you need to do to love yourself more.

Loving yourself also means taking care of your needs. You shouldn’t be afraid of taking your sex life into your own hands. This is a great way to explore your own body, learn what you do and don’t like, become more sexually confident and feel great about yourself. If you’re not keen on really doing it yourself, consider getting a little assistance by going to your local novelty shop or an online store like Adam and Eve.

Love the One You’re With

If we love ourselves, we have to look at the way we are loving our partner. It’s easy to fall into routine after you’ve been together for a while, but are you at a point where you’re just taking him or her for granted, the sex has dwindled and you’re more like friends than partners? If so, it’s time to reinvest in your relationship and get out of your rut.  Bring back the romance, start complimenting your partner again, do little things that help him or her out and start having a whole lot more sex. It may seem easier said than done, but if you ultimately want to make your relationship last and to be happy you have to work on bringing yourself out of the mentality you’ve sunken into.

There’s still work to be done even if you aren’t in a rut. You can always work on making a relationship better by getting more inventive in the bedroom, by letting your partner know how much he or she means to you and by surprising him or her. Keep the focus on the love you two share and you’ll find that you’re both much happier and more affectionate towards each other.

Finding Love

Are you taking the right steps to find love if you aren’t partnered up but want to be? You have to start with loving yourself, but then it’s going to take a little effort on your own. It’s easy to exhaust your friends list, but you could also try to meet someone by investing in your hobbies and things you like. Join clubs and groups around town that are involved in activities you like, like a wine club or a cooking class. You’re likely to find people with similar interests and people you get along with.

What’s interesting is, even if you didn’t meet someone at one of these events, you’ll suddenly have a full life and hobbies.  Potential partners will actually find it much more attractive that you have things going on instead of sitting at home every night. So take your new found busy life and try your hand at online dating. One in five relationships begin online now, so there’s no shame in it.  Just remember that you deserve someone great, so don’t settle and don’t stop looking until you find your special someone.

Just remember that love can be in every part of your life. Let it in, explore it and find how much better your life is when love is involved.

They’re a plucky lot, spammers, aren’t they? I [...]]]> The spammers have most definitely found me. I think the part that makes me sad is that it’s not even creative spam. I dutifully go through my spam comments daily though, in hopes that someone didn’t leave a real comment that got lost in all the spam.

They’re a plucky lot, spammers, aren’t they? I mean, they know about all the technology developed specifically to keep their grammatically incorrect, nonsensical messages from reaching human eyes, and yet they still plod along, every day, submitting, submitting, submitting.

Maybe I need to take some lessons from them. Not the part about annoying the crap out of people, but definitely the part about not giving up.

It’s easy to give up, whether you’re writing or doing something else. It’s easier to just accept failure from the outset than to try and – heaven forbid! – succeed, if even by accident.

For years I gave up without even trying.

“No one is going to want to read anything I’ve written. Who am I kidding?”

But that wasn’t true. And the more I persist and strive, putting the proverbial pen to paper, the more I prove those early beliefs wrong. I think we all need that reminder now and again, since it’s easy to forget.

Do I sleep now, or [...]]]> Home, family, writing, work, laundry, blogging, dogs, cats, kids, more laundry, dinner again? I think we all have the problem of balancing everything. As busy as we’ve all gotten, sometimes I feel like one of those plate spinners trying to keep all of my various responsibilities spinning instead of falling.

Do I sleep now, or finish this chapter? How many times can I wear that without becoming a walking biohazard? Wait, this show airs LIVE every week???

It’s tricky, but I’ve found that setting my priorities and sticking to them really helps me to keep all those plates spinning. And the more mundane things (laundry, anyone?) I do while I’m waiting for other things.

Every now and then I find a new priority and everything has to shift a little bit. Is it a perfect system? Of course not, that’s why sometimes we’re all back to spinning plates. But I just remember to be gentle with myself and that we all have the same 24 hours to fit everything into.

What are your secrets for balancing everything? Just because I’ve got a system doesn’t mean I’m not open to suggestions!

The leaves changing really brings a [...]]]> Fall is definitely my favorite time of year. The weather is cooling down from its hellish highs and all the cold weather gear starts coming out. I don’t like freezing, but I do love some cute hats and scarves; they make the world a little more interesting, I think.

The leaves changing really brings a new life to your neighborhood, wherever you are. I find that I pay attention to my surroundings in a completely different way when fall hits.

Of course, there’s also Halloween and Thanksgiving in there, but the best part is spending those celebrations with friends and family.

I used to love spring, but allergies have taken a lot of the fun out of watching the flowers bloom, for me.

How about you – what season do you love best, or what do you love best about fall?

Personally, I can’t write fast enough with pen and paper [...]]]> Those of you that write, how do you do it? I’m not even talking the esoteric “facing northwest at dawn while listening to the hoot of a particular breed of owl,” I’m talking more simply than that. Paper and pen(cil), or computer only for you?

Personally, I can’t write fast enough with pen and paper to get everything down. I type pretty fast, around 70 – 80 words per minute, and even that isn’t fast enough sometimes if the ideas are really flowing.

Paper and pen just slows me way, way down. Now granted, sometimes we need that. Sometimes slowing down helps to get dialog just right or to make sure a particular scene is described accurately.

Most of the time, though, if my muse is on fire I need to just take advantage of that fact and that’s where the computer comes in handy.

What about you, fellow writers? How do you do it? And if you’re not a writer, I’ve got another question for you: when is the last time you had to actually use pen and paper for more than just a quick grocery list?

Water (This cover is just [...]]]> I was looking for a few new reads and ran across some highly-rated freebies over at Smashwords, so I thought I’d share them here. A short note, I haven’t read these yet, so I don’t have specific recommendations for any – just wanted to share!

Water (This cover is just gorgeous!)

Blurb:

Water. That’s what does it for me. Ocean waves, relentlessly rocking. A pounding, pulsing waterfall. Bodies tangled together in a bubbling Jacuzzi cauldron. A steam room, dripping like a tropical jungle. Snow pressed against goose-pimpled skin, hardening my nipples to painful, begging peaks….

Pia

Blurb:

Pia loves Sasha, she still has a difficult time believing the beautiful actress wants, and loves her back. But, when she is near Sasha, any time of the day or night, her body goes into sexual overload. She has a difficult time keeping focused because Sasha ignites every pleasurable feeling inside of Pia.

Join Pia as her body screams for release, and gets more than she thinks she deserves as she takes what she wants.

 Elfbitten (Another gorgeous cover!)

Blurb:

Taryn Malloy is a Bright Elf, her magic lives in her blood, fueled by sex and lust. Recovering from a terrible break-up, Taryn’s best friend, Roxy, decides it’s time for Taryn to get back in the game. She’s wallowed long enough and let her magic diminish to a dangerous level. Tonight, Roxy is taking Taryn out to a club that caters to the carnal needs of the supernatural community of their city. Roxy is determined to make Taryn forget about Cillian and she knows the only way to get over one elf is to get on top of another. A night of elves, fairies, vampires, revenge and more is exactly what Taryn needs.

Shaken and Stirred

Blurb:

Secret agent Kizzie Baldwin has a mission with a simple objective: Steal a formula while attending the festivities on the villainous Xander Duquesne’s luxury yacht. There’s just one problem—she has no idea it’s a BDSM party.

Dom and criminal mastermind Xander is a man who likes to be prepared. But the unexpected run-in with Kizzie throws him for a loop. Will he give her what she came for, or a little something extra?

*The story first appeared as a short in the free anthology Summer Heat. It is presented here in its entirety.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and download some fab freebies – don’t forget to leave some reviews when you’re finished. Us authors love to hear what worked and what didn’t!

I just can’t do that.

I love music, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t write a word if I’ve got music playing in the [...]]]> Many of my writer friends talk about playlists that help them to write better, stronger, faster. Heck, some of them even have playlists for characters or for the entire novel.

I just can’t do that.

I love music, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t write a word if I’ve got music playing in the background.

I’ve been like that since I was a kid and doing homework. I can tune out noise around me: the television, coffee shop noises, library whispers. But turn on some music and suddenly my feet are tapping and I’m humming along with the chorus. Give me another few minutes and I’m singing along, full steam.

Which, as you can imagine, shoots my concentration all to pieces. So, no music for me, at least when I’m writing.

I get my fill of music in the car or while I’m cleaning – those are the times that belting out a few tunes helps me to actually focus better. Isn’t that odd how different our brains are all wired?

I’d love to learn more about the folks who stop by here – when does music work for you and when does it get in your way?

I can share information, explore characters and how they interact or influence opinions (on a good day), just by stringing words together in particular ways.

The information and opinion influencing aspects are usually saved for the day job, since fiction doesn’t really require much of either skill set. Blogging doesn’t really require [...]]]> I really do.

I can share information, explore characters and how they interact or influence opinions (on a good day), just by stringing words together in particular ways.

The information and opinion influencing aspects are usually saved for the day job, since fiction doesn’t really require much of either skill set. Blogging doesn’t really require much of each, either. I mean, I like sharing information here, but this is more a space where I can ramble and share random things. I like that freedom.

I really love writing fiction. Specifically, I like writing spicy fiction.

I love love. And I love reading and writing about people finding each other and falling in love. Along with that comes the spicy end of things, of course, and I enjoy writing that, too. Some people don’t like reading erotic romances, and that’s fine. But people and their love stories fascinate me, and part of any good love story is the spicy part.

The story doesn’t just go on hold when the bedroom door closes, and those romances that skim over the hotter parts have always frustrated me.

The sex is just as important as the date the characters just had, or the fight they’re about to have. It’s another part of the love story, and it’s criminal to leave it out I think.

Does that mean that sex for its own sake is not as fun to read or to write?

For me, no. I prefer erotic romance, but pure erotica has its place too. And if it’s done right, it’s just as hot as the sex scenes inspired by characters who are falling in love.