The Cinema Sickness Crew

After Life Season 2 thoughts (spoilers)

2020-05-10T01:09:00.001-07:00

#Beer Reviews Ep.1: Liquid Desserts from #BigBellyBrewing

2019-02-23T14:25:00.001-08:00

Once Upon a Cash Grab

2018-12-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for both "Deadpool 2" and "Once Upon a Deadpool" (mild spoilers, though).

On paper, Once Upon a Deadpool sounds like a fantastic idea. Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) kidnaps Fred Savage to tell him a "revised" [PG-13] version of Deadpool 2, "filtered through the prism of childlike innocence". When Ryan Reynolds released an image of him and Fred Savage, I immidiately got hyped of the idea of a PG-13 version of Deadpool 2 in which Fred Savage comments on the story of the film à la Princess Bride, while also [probably] making fun of the idea that a PG-13 version of Deadpool 2 ever exists. However, that promise becomes [barely] realized.

Sure, the Fred Savage stuff is hilarious (especially when Deadpool keeps bleeping him to make him sound like he wants to F*** Matt Damon), but there's barely any of it that you kept wondering why you even bothered to see this. Sure, Fudge Cancer, but is it really worth it to watch an airplane edit of Deadpool 2 just so you can give 1$ of your ticket to charity? These reasons don't justify Once Upon a Deadpool's existence. I think there are maybe 5 or 6 scenes with Fred Savage and I think that the one that lasts the longest time is a minute long. He is in this movie for maximum [effort] 10 minutes and has nothing to do.

The rating change also makes Deadpool 2 look and sound like a horrible film. I enjoyed Deadpool 2 when it came out, and there are still some parts that are enjoyable to watch, but not as enjoyable as the Hard-R rated version or the even better Super Duper Fucking Cut. For example, when Peter (Rob Delaney) gets hired, in the theatrical cut, Dopinder (Karan Soni) lashes out a huge FUCK that is unexpectedly hilarious. In this version, Dopinder says "GOD--"...it doesn't work as well and the audience was dead silent during most of the movie. Actually, the audience only laughed during the Fred Savage moments...the rest of the film is so bogged down by its over-editing that you cannot appreciate the film at it's fullest. The action is choppy, messy, trying to hide blood, guts or anything remotely badass or fun. The Domino (Zazie Beetz) fight scene in the facility is trimmed down and edited to shit that it loses all of its "badassery", stunning action direction and cinematography from Jonathan Sela. I was bored, and that NEVER happened while I was watching the original cut of Deadpool 2 and the original Deadpool. The PG-13 cut removes all of its artistic and kinetic energy and brings a cold, subpar, tonally inconsistent mess of a film that didn't need to exist in the first place. While I appreciate Ryan Reynolds's good intentions, Deadpool can absolutely be PG-13 if you have a SCRIPT that revolves around the idea of Deadpool being PG-13. A wasted opportunity and actually blatant cash grab, even if proceeds go to charity.

2/5

The Leap of Faith of "Into the Spider-Verse"

2018-12-18T06:08:00.004-08:00

Warning: This review contains spoilers for "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse".

Being a major fan of the Spider-Man universe and Marvel in general, of course I resonated incredibly well to this film, it should come as no surprise. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Versetells the story of Miles Morales (Shameik Moore) who gets bit by a radioactive spider while hanging out with his uncle, Aaron Davis (Mahershala Ali). After trying to find the spider that caused the bite, he sees Peter Parker (Chris Pine), fighting Green Goblin (Jorma Taccone), who works for Wilson Fisk (Liev Schreiber). Fisk is trying to open a portal called "The Collider", to resurrect 🅱️anessa (Lake Bell), after she and his son died in a car accident, whom Fisk blames was caused by Parker. Fisk kills Parker, but the collider opened a portal where multiple Spider-People from multiple universes teleported to Miles's world: Peter B. Parker AKA The Amazing Spider-Man (Jake Johnson), Spider-Gwen (Hailee Steinfeld), Spider-Man Noir (impeccable Nicolas Cage), Spider-Ham (John Mulaney) and SP//dr (Kimiko Glenn). Miles must transport the spider-people back to their respective universe, while also destroying the Collider and stopping Fisk at all costs, while also being mentored into becoming Spider-Man himself from none other than "The Amazing" Spider-Man and soulful words of wisdom from "Stan The Man".

I honestly didn't expect Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse to be packed with this much heart and soul that it honestly surprised the hell out of me. I already knew that the animation was going to be amazing from the looks of it (and is literally a true feast for the eyes & ears in IMAX 3D, but the back & forth between different styles of animation can be a bit jarring and felt like Sony really wanted to assault you with so many styles of animation that the exercise became quickly exhausting. However, the animation style is never boring and always fresh & creative), but I didn't know that the directors would opt for a story with heart. Of course, Stan Lee's first posthumous cameo had to be the most emotional one, delivering a fantastic line, when Miles says that he'll bring back the Spidey suit if it doesn't fit. Lee replies "It always fits...eventually". At the time, the filmmakers didn't know that Lee would pass away, but the cameo is so damn beautiful when you realize that it was released posthumously...it felt like a proper send-off and it's a shame that a legend like Stan The Man is no longer with us, but this is Stan Lee's greatest cameo he has ever done. Much respect to you Stan and excelsior.

Beyond that, the movie also explores the theme of family, first with the tumultuous relationship with Miles's dad (Bryan Tyree Henry), but where the theme really shines Aaron Davis's arc as the Prowler, who is a "mercenary" of sorts by doing Fisk's dirty work. When he realizes, after a confrontation with multiple villains in Aunt May (Lily Tomlin)'s house, that the Spider-Man he is about to kill is Miles, he refuses to do the task, which ultimately leads in his death, but the realization that he has made mistake after mistake and has never been a good role model for Miles is the most emotional gut punch of the year. Of course, you can say, "Ugh, why does it always have to be the uncle that passes away in a Spider-Man film?", but instead of a clichéd death, we get a death that has meaning, not only for the fact that Davis has redeemed himself as a human being in his final moments, but as motivation for Miles to go after Fisk and not going down the same path Davis did. Mahershala Ali voices Davis to perfection and brings some emotional strings that were very much needed in a franchise that, for some people, is growing tired.

But when you have an inventive and incredibly kinetic film like this, how can it grow tired? Sure, Marvel movies have a villain problem, and it's still a major problem here with Wilson Fisk. Of course, if you've seen Daredevil, you know Fisks's backstory, but this is a different Fisk (though with the same 🅱️anessa obsession) and I'd hoped to see a different take on the character, but he was barely in it, and his cartoonesque stature just made him incredibly unmenacing and surprisingly quite easy to beat at the end. The backstory on how Vanessa & his son died is told literally in a flash (there's no time for a proper villain to develop and grow on screen), his lines are clichéd at best and forgettable at worst that you can't help but compare him to Vincent D'Onofrio's brilliant portrayal of the man in Daredevil. Fisk has barely anything to do here, and it's a shame to waste such a good villain like that. The same goes with Olivia Octavius (Kathryn Hahn), who's "there", but doesn't advance the plot or bring anything to the movie. Both villains are typically clichéd in traditionnal "animated movie bad guy" tropes and it's a shame, because there could've been something more with them and actually do something different like with Zach Galifaniakis's fantastic portrayal of The Joker in The LEGO Batman Movie.

Nevertheless, Into the Spider-Verse is a remarkable achievement in technicality and scale for animated movies: the animation is insanely creative and pops out soul-stirring colors that made my jaw drop in IMAX 3D. It's a fast-paced, fun and incredibly kinetic superhero action/animated-film that's great entertainment for both kids & adults.

4.5/5

A Pointless Remake is Great (A Star is Born Review)

2018-12-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

(The following review contains spoilers for "A Star is Born"...but if you've seen the other adaptations, it follows pretty much "every beat" of the same story so you probably know what's coming).

I've underestimated the crap out of this movie. For starters, I have no idea why this film is getting remade for a THIRD TIME, proof that Hollywood has lost any type of originality they once had. However, I was proven wrong. It was pretty darn good.

Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) is a rock singer dealing with alcohol addiction and substance abuse. When he goes to a drag bar and sees a woman named Ally (Lady Gaga) sing Édith Piaf's La vie en rose, he falls in love instantly with Ally and her singing voice. After spending the night together, Maine invites Ally on tour. While she refuses at the beginning, she quits her job, frustrated and decides to go on tour with Jackson. When she arrives, she is pressured to sing her song "Shallow", and she becomes a viral sensation on Youtube. While Ally's career soars, Jackson's self-destructive path reaches a downward spiral that feels like it's never going to recover...Ally marries Jackson, but his behavior worsens, until he decides to get treated for his addictions to become a better man.

There is a lot to like in A Star is Born, though the movie isn't as "perfect" or "near-perfect" as many critics make it out to be. The biggest issue I had with the movie was Sam Elliott's character. His performance was absolutely incredible, and he deserves a best supporting actor WIN at the Academy Awards, but I honestly think the relationship between him and Jackson would've worked better if he was his father. While every scene that he's in is riveting, compelling and strucks an emotional core in your heart, being Jackson's "older" half-brother just doesn't work as well as straight-up being his father. Imagine the kind of moralizing dialogue we could get with Sam Elliott if he was his father, we would get a subplot that could've deepened Jackson's self-destructive nature and how his father is ashamed of himself and prays for the safety of Ally. I'm thinking of this and it would've honestly made his character so much more important than the way they completely shoehorned a "half-brother". I honestly didn't get that part, and imagine what would've happened if he was his father (talking to the people that saw the film). The movie also frequently use the word "fuck" because "RATED R". They keep saying "FUCK, FUCKIN" all the time that the word ultimately loses meaning and actually make some of the lines unintentionally hilarious. It's not because The Wolf of Wall Street used f-bombs in an excessive, but funny way that you don't mind the excessive use. A Star is Born has no justifiable reason to use f-bombs, even though Patrick Star calls them "sentence enhancers", it makes some sentences lose all of their credibility. Take "If you don't dig deep in your fuckin' soul, you won't have legs"...remove the f-bomb: "If you don't dig deep in your soul, you won't have legs". The line, without the f-bomb, works better and the meaning it tried to convey is felt even more when you remove the swear.

Aside from the film's few flaws, A Star is Born is a remarkable achievement in camerawork with Matthew Libatique's subjective cinematography, putting you right in the middle of the stage, following Jackson Maine's insane guitar riffs and the beat of the songs. The film's cinematography deserves the Academy Award for Best Cinematography, though I don't know if Libatique's arrest will hurt his chances for an Oscar (even though he was released without being charged).

The movie opens with Maine, in front of a large crowd, singing his song, Black Eyes. As soon as the song starts, the film grabs you and never lets you go. The song is fantastic and Bradley Cooper electrifies the stage as he riffs his guitar like a madman and sings to his heart's content. Cooper absolutely deserves an Oscar nomination and Jackson Maine, seeing him destroy himself while Ally rises to stardom is incredibly soul-crushing. You can tell Jackson wants to be happy with Ally, but cannot overcome his demons, even when he goes to rehab. When he comes back home, he realizes that he is going to be a nuisance for Ally, when her manager, Rez (Rafi Gavron), tells him that he is the one that is holding Ally back and, because of him, she won't be able to grow as a signer and her career will ultimately die. Because of this, he hangs himself, thinking of Ally and her career. He obviously didn't need to resort to suicide, but the scene is done so elegantly that you, the audience member, will ultimately cry when Maine takes off his "cowboy hat" and puts it on the table, as a sign that "the singer has left the building". It's a powerful moment and, honestly, one of the most emotionally draining scenes of 2018. There's talk of Lady Gaga grabbing an Oscar for her performance as Ally Maine, I'd see it, but her performance didn't hit me as hard as Viola Davis in Widows. When Gaga sings "Shallow" for the first time on stage, the scene hit me hard and I started crying even more than Jackson's death scene. The sequence was so powerful to see and hear in IMAX, the only way to properly experience every note of the fillm, the way the director intended.

I've said a lot about the film, because it struck me emotionally, the same way Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again (unexpectedly) did. While I cannot overshadow A Star is Born's unoriginality as a remake and a typical, paint-by-numbers "rise to stardom" movie, it's still a well-made film that is likely to snag a few awards coming Oscar season. If you get a chance to see it in IMAX, make sure to stay after the credits for a 10-minute making-of documentary called "The Road to Stardom" that talks about Cooper's creative vision and is incredibly interesting to hear.

4/5

Comiccon Amsterdam 2017 Vlog!

2017-09-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

"The Emoji Movie"(2017) Film Review

2017-09-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Rated PG For Rude Humor

1hr 26min/86 Minutes

Zero Stars out of 4

There's a short film shown before the theatrical screening of "The Emoji Movie". Based on the highly successful "Hotel Transylvania" films, "Puppy" is a five-minute exercise in a silent comedy, albeit with sound. In it, Dennis(voiced by Asher Blinkoff), the son of couple Mavis(Selena Gomez) and Johnny(Andy Samberg), is lamenting about how much he would love a puppy. While his parents tell him that taking care of a small creature is a big responsibility to uphold, Dracula(Adam Sandler) overhears this and decides to spoil his grandson by giving him an adorably giant dog, one who's head delightfully grazes the ceiling. The short flies by like, well, a dog playing outside. It's five minutes, and in those five minutes, the short sets up a believable story, likable characters and comedic set pieces. Now, the movie starts and imagine my total surprise that the 86 minute feature to follow, not only had none of those things I mentioned, but, somehow, was totally empty. There is nothing, I mean nothing to reach your hand out and grab onto in "The Emoji Movie". One is to ponder why, exactly, this particular film exists. One needs to look no further than the films own Wikipedia page. In the section discussing the production of the film. In it, you find out that Tony Leonids, the director of the film, was wondering about how to make a "Toy Story" like film about a toy of some sort that was the current craze. At the moment of his wonderment, he received a text with an emoji attached, and that's how we have this. If that isn't the definition of a true Hollywood success story, then I don't know what is.

Gene(voiced by T.J. Miller) is an emoji, very excited to start his first day of being in the texting app for the phone of Alex(Jake T. Austin). He's not supposed to be excited, rather, he's supposed to be "meh." Gene is to provide that simple function and emotion 24/7 in order to fit in with the rest of the phone. Gene can express an array of emotions, which causes him to screw up, royally, on his first day of the job. Finding out that one of her employees isn't performing the proper emotion, Smiler(Maya Rudolph), an emoji that's to be constantly happy all the time, orders Gene to be reset. Following a meeting with other emojis, Smiler changes her words and orders Gene to be destroyed. Malfuntions aren't allowed in her place of business, but Gene doesn't want to be essentially murdered for making a mistake, so he sets out with High Five(James Corden) to find a hacker by the name of Jailbreak(Anna Faris). The reason? So they can reach the Cloud. The Cloud is the only thing that can reset Gene in order for him to perform his one and only function. Along the way, they have to out-run the anti-virus bots sent out by Smiler, navigate different apps throughout Alex's phone and discover what it means to be a real emoji, once and for all... or something like that.

Why must Gene be ordered to perform only one function? Can't he be allowed to express himself and just save his function for when he clocks in for his time on the phone? Actually, he only really needs to perform his "meh" function for about ten seconds. The emojis all get in their squares and if Alex picks them, then all they have to do is make the appropriate face for a few seconds while a machine scans them in. The machine then sends the scanned face up to the phone so Alex can see and use it, if need be. When Gene makes a simple mistake, Smiler, and all the other emojis for that matter, treat him negatively. The way Smiler explains to Gene what the exact issue is, she does it with the same affectation as a school administrator explaining to a student that they have a learning disability. Nothing too wrong with it, until Smiler orders him to be executed because of it. That's wildly unacceptable to put in a film for children/pre-teens. It's OK to show someone not being accepted by others and his or her plight to prove them wrong. That's a wonderful message to send to kids, but to show the main antagonist of the film ordering death on the main character for being different, that tells the kids that if you are one of the more unique individuals out there and people don't quite understand you, there is someone out there who possibly wants to cause you harm because you're a little different. Yes, there are bullies out there, trust me, I experienced them too much when I was younger, but movies are supposed to be an escape, especially for the little ones. Bringing up this aspect might make them worried. Smiler is portrayed as a psychopathic freak with severe OCD. While there might be people like her in real life, I can't think of a single one that exists in a child's world.

What about the non-emotion specific emojis? The pizza? The Ice cream cone? Are they supposed to perform under one single emotion or are they the only ones allowed to do as they please? So many questions are subtly posed by "The Emoji Movie", yet none of them can be bothered to be answered. The movie seems to have no agenda, merely just a product of standing there, hoping the audience enjoys the fact that it's wasting their time. As for our main character, Alex, he is totally useless to the main story, as he is the rest of the movie. Take "Inside Out" for example, one of the movies the film poorly apes; Riley is our main character for that story and she is a winning creation. She has a clear motive for the emotions inside her head and a reason as to why they wanna help her. She is well-developed and thoroughly likable throughout. Alex is a non-entity and the reason as to why the emojis want to help him is mystifying. It really doesn't make a severe impact on him, the emojis have no effect on his emotions or life, they just cause him minor irritation and inconvenience. That's another thing; at one point, the emojis have to race to get to the Cloud because Alex has set up an appointment at the phone store. He's 14 years old. There's no conceivable way he would be able to set up a phone appointment by himself. Odds are, his parents have purchased the phone for them, they foot the bill for his phone. He doesn't have a job, ergo, no income coming in. The owners of the phone(the parents) would have to set up the appointment. Also, why are the emojis concerned about being deleted from the phone? Alex is going to the store to begin with to wipe the phone for a clean reset. OK, but the emojis come standard on every phone, therefore they wouldn't get deleted. Alex is also very careless with his phone. As the employee has hooked up his phone to a computer, the phone begins resetting itself. Since Alex is fixated on some girl, he instead takes the phone off the cord, thereby interrupting the process. The phone is totally fine after this. I'm sorry, but if you do that in real life, your phone is far past gone.

Jailbreak is a total cardboard cutout of Wildstyle from "The LEGO Movie". She acts as if she's a punk-rock chick with a softer side just waiting to be uncovered by the nature of the plot. When this softer side is revealed, it has no impact on the story. High Five is beyond unctuous; insufferable to have to witness, this is our supposed comic relief. I mean who doesn't find tired old jokes like "#Blessed", "#Truth" or "Bye, Felicia" funny? I don't. The last time I laughed at "Bye, Felicia" was only a minor chuckle when Daniel Tosh signed off an episode of "Tosh.0" with a perfect delivery of the line. That was two years ago. The movie stops twice, twice, dear readers, so the characters can play a game, both at five minutes apiece. The first is "Candy Crush" after Gene inadvertently becomes trapped in the game board. It's about as entertaining as playing the actual game, which is to say it's as stiff as the waiting room you play the game in. The second is "Just Dance". First off, how do you play "Just Dance" on a phone? It's a motion, exercise based game, so playing it on a phone defeats the purpose entirely. This is also where Gene makes up "The Emoji Pop", a dance where you squat up and down like you have to really rush to the bathroom and make dumb faces accordingly. They also take the time to travel to apps like YouTube, where you see the stupid "Pen-Apple-Pineapple-Pen" video and a cat video from ages ago; The piracy app where they find Jailbreak(going into this app, this prompts Gene to ask "What could a teenage boy want to hide from his parents?" The answer should be obvious, but given that this is stuck with a PG rating, you can't really say that), and the Instagram app, and honestly, this is where the only neat moment of the movie is given. Whenever an emoji goes into an Instagram photo, the photo becomes a still, three dimensional world they can kind of interact with. That's where the minor compliment ends. In order to get to the Cloud, the emojis ride Spotify soundwaves so they can get to the Dropbox app(which they make sure to mention is a secure and safe app), so they can break down the firewall to get to the Cloud. If Sony could stop fondling themselves in the form of a movie, that'd be great. "Wreck-It-Ralph", this is certainly not.

T.J. Miller, usually very funny and charming, is lost as Gene. His voice acting is neither happy, nor jovial. James Corden is stiff, wooden and unfunny as High Five. Corden has been solid before, even on his TV show, but you wouldn't know it by watching this. Anna Faris is delightful, funny, charming and sweet, but as Jailbreak, she is forced to use abbreviations like "NBD" and "Keep it on the DL", sound tough and then warm and opening. It's unconvincing and sad. Maya Rudolph is unsettling as Smiler, and not in a good way. Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolidge make no impression, both in the movie and as their characters, as Gene's parents. Christina Aguilera plays the "Just Dance" instructor and makes such little impact that she might as well have not even shown up. Finally, Sir Patrick Stewart is shamefully given the role of playing the poop emoji. He'll bounce back after this, but it's still embarrassing. One last thing about the voice acting: It seems as if it sounds like the actors are being held hostage in the recording booth. They sound worried and uncertain. If they enjoyed themselves, hey, good for them, but it sounds like they're uncomfortable. Jeff Ross shows up to voice an internet troll, in which all trolls are portrayed as overweight slobs without jobs, companions and lives. That's nice.

"The Emoji Movie" left me in a catatonic state as to how low an animated film can sink, one from a a major studio, no less. How is a movie that has no story, no substance, nothing at all that the viewer can hold onto and think about long after the film is over, released nationwide? I've seen direct-to-video movies miles better than this, and those were the movies deemed not good enough for theatrical distribution. This is such a disgusting example of filth that's pushed onto children, and they've been getting some solid movies this year, with "The LEGO Batman Movie", "Captain Underpants", "Cars 3" and the soon to come out as of this writing "The LEGO Ninjago Movie". Who thought that children would take to this? Honestly? I want someone to tell me what the motive is here. You wanna know what I experienced? In a theater that was semi-packed with children and families, the audience was stone silent. It's so awkward to sit through an animated film that tries to be funny and heartwarming, only for the audience to give it nothing in return. Out of the entire audience, only one person laughed. The person was myself, and it wasn't even from the actual film itself. It was from something one of the children at my screening said to the movie. During a scene where Alex is interacting with the girl he likes, as the girl is walking away and the film becomes silent for a moment, a child said out loud "Ugh, she's ugly." The statement caught me so off guard, that it managed to make me laugh. Kudos, kid.

"Transformers: The Last Knight"(2017) Film Review

2017-09-05T15:26:00.000-07:00

Rated PG-13 For Violence And Intense Sequences Of Sci-Fi Action, Language And Some Innuendo

2hrs 30min/150 minutes

Zero Stars out of 4

2007's "Transformers" was nothing special; a silly popcorn movie about fighting robots based on a cartoon series from the '80's, but it did it's job surprisingly competently. It was entertaining, well-paced and left you feeling a sense of fun. 2009's "Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen" was a significant drop in quality; a repeat of the same film as if it was written by a college-frat, bro-dude. It was lackluster, overlong, unfunny, juvenile and racially insensitive. 2011's "Transformers: Dark Of The Moon" was somehow worse, sinking the franchise to a new low. Filled with tedious, overlong action, monotonous and awful dialogue, characters that were unctuous, a beyond whiny and irritating Shia LaBeouf, so on and so forth. 2014's "Transformers: Age Of Extinction" brought the series back up to a stable height. By replacing LaBeouf with the effortlessly charming Mark Wahlberg and making the movie entertaining, but at the same time, over-exerting itself. Let's face it, 164 minutes is a long time to sit through an action movie. And then, there's "The Last Knight", a movie that promises to keep the series on the same level as "Age Of Extinction", but instead, it somehow sinks lower than "Dark Of The Moon", setting itself up to be one of the most excruciating motion pictures to ever hit the big screen. From frame one to the end credits, the movie gets absolutely nothing right. It's a total mess of metal flying across the screen.

The plot, surprise, has Megatron coming down to Earth, y'know, because the first four times weren't enough, in search of an ancient talisman once owned by Merlin. Yes, that's right, we have the ancient magician Merlin trotting along in this. Not only is Megatron after it, but Cade Yeager(Mark Wahlberg), Oxford polo playing professor Vivian Wembly(Laura Haddox) and the last member of the Witwiccian order, Sir Edmund Burton(Anthony Hopkins) are also hot on it's trail. You see, Optimus Prime is being held captive up in Cybertron by some evil princess for no reason other than to have Prime being presented a threat, and they think that by using this object, it can restore Cybertron and Earth back to it's normal state. Roll credits.

The writing might be a good place to start. Exposition drowns the proceedings, and I mean drowns it. There's a solid fifty minute section where no action is taking place. All the characters are required to stand around and spout out endlessly boring, nonsensical mumbo-jumbo, and they expect you to take it so seriously. If you think that's bad, the dialogue is even worse. One liners are ugly junk and they plague the film from beginning to end. "Look at the junk in her trunk!" a robot exclaims after seeing literal junk in the trunk of a hooptie-like car. "Without sacrifice, there can be no victory" is said twice before the title of the movie shows up on-screen. "For my world to live, yours must die" Optimus threatens as if he has no problem killing almost seven billion people. Cogman(voiced by Jim Carter) casually shouts "Move bitch, get out the way!" several times in a row while speeding through traffic. Squeeks(voiced by Reno Wilson), a BB-8-like creation, says "Ay, Chihuahua!" over and over, like it's in a different movie, altogether. Cade and Vivian are supposed to be romantic interests, but when Cade turns to her at one point and says "You, British lady, shut up", it's cause for one to go weak in their knees. If this is how screenwriters Art Marcum, Matt Holoway and Ken Nolan think people flirt with each other, than Cade and Vivian's future is going to go about as well as oil and water. By the way, three people to write this movie? That's pathetic. But the one line that made me consider pulling my first ever walk-out comes from a character named Nitro Zeus(voiced by John DiMaggio). As he's introduced, he comes onscreen, dancing around whilst shouting jovially, "Free at last, thank Megatron almighty, I'm free at last!"

Director Michael Bay isn't really the one to blame entirely for how these movies turn out. Yes, he makes some creative decisions that don't always work out, but the screenwriters are at fault for even thinking up such a ridiculous movie in the first place. Honestly, after viewing the film, I had trouble even remembering why the Transformers were fighting down on Earth again. This could either be because my ADD was acting up(that the movie didn't end until after 1:00 in the morning could've been a factor) or the fact that the filmmakers couldn't explain the premise of the movie in a cohesive manner. If I can't remember the basic plot of a movie almost thirty minutes after exiting the theater, then you haven't done your job properly. Another thing that gave me a massive headache, is that Michael Bay has every single shot of this 150 minute movie, turn into a different aspect ratio. This was done for the film being shown in IMAX theaters, but I don't think the movie needs to change that frequently, and in 2D showings, it screws with your equilibrium after 15 minutes. I don't think that two characters engaging in a conversation needs to be constantly switching up ratios. The action in the film is also tedious and confusing. For example: "The Fast And The Furious" films are silly action blockbusters, yes(they at least have emotion), but the action is done how it's supposed to be done: slicky and cohesively. The fact that I buy a scene in which former street racers are suddenly on ice, racing away from a technologically enhanced submarine, blowing cars up left and right, more than I do Mark Wahlberg being the savior of Earth is a bit disconcerting. Side-note: after one of my theaters decided to switch the original 2D screening to a 3D screening at the last minute(because that's fair), my friend and I sat through the film, and the 3D was utterly useless. The film provides nothing that pops out at the viewer. As a matter of fact, the projector was still programmed to show a 2D showing for the first ten minutes, so we couldn't really tell a difference. Thanks, Regal.

For the first time in, maybe, ever, Mark Wahlberg gives a disinterested, lackluster performance. One of the most charming leading men in Hollywood, Wahlberg stumbles around the entire movie like a loud, brutish drunk. Can you honestly blame him? The poor guy looks trapped. Laura Haddock seems utterly confused and lost, her facial expressions amounting to looks of concern and annoyance. You get the deep feeling that she's not acting, she's genuinely upset that's wound up in this mess. Anthony Hopkins also looks lost and trapped. He's literally only on hand to spout out the inevitable exposition and plot points. Isabella Moner plays orphan Izzy. From what my many friends tell me, she went to the same school I did. Color me ignorant, but I don't remember ever coming into contact with her. I remember seeing her in passing, though. Moner struck me, in the film, as a performer that has depth and a wide range of emotion, one to watch out for in future films. Unfortunately, this awful excuse of so called entertainment doesn't showcase this. I still have hope. Her character, though, is useless throughout the film. She serves no detectable purpose. These actors aren't at fault, the script just might as well take action figures of them and splash them around in dirty bath water. Jerrod Carmichael plays Wahlberg's assistant at the junkyard he works for. A comic relief that's not funny? I'll pass. Returning actors Josh Duhammel and John Turturro serve, what's that? You guessed it: no purpose. Turturro literally phones in his three minutes of screen-time from the other side of the world. Voice acting is non-descriptive and totally pointless. The robots are just as one dimensional creations as the humans. The main robot, Optimus himself, has only fifteen minutes of scenes and he wastes them all by casually repeating, over and over "I am Optimus Prime." Did you think we somehow forgot?

This is, without a doubt, the worst big budget movie I've seen in a long time. The movie doesn't understand that flash and fury don't make a good movie. There's a little word called "substance". Please have it. I have lost all faith in this series. The sick thing about this is that Michael Bay can do good movies. I think 2013's "Pain & Gain" might be his most accomplished work to date. The problem is that he keeps coming back to do these movies and I don't understand why. Eventually, you have to get tired of it. Supposedly, this is his last foray into this series, but has stated that he will come back if he thinks the story's good. You mean to tell me that he thought this was decent enough to helm? Gimme a break. By the time the movie has extended it's climax for the third or fourth time, all I could think about is curing up in my bed, later that night and falling peacefully asleep. At one point, Wahlberg calls one of the robots a "skank". He could just as well be referring to the people behind the cameras, whoring themselves out for that money. C.R.E.A.M. Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Dolla Dolla Bill, y'all. "Transformers: The Last Knight" is beyond patience testing; an empty, soul-crushing, spirit diminishing piece of shit.

Atomic Blonde

2017-08-19T04:38:00.001-07:00

I won a photo shoot!

2017-07-24T09:56:00.001-07:00

A very cool short film I'm working on!!

2017-03-04T08:40:00.001-08:00

"Fifty Shades Darker"(2017) Film Review

2017-02-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

Rated R For Strong Erotic Sexual Content, Graphic Nudity And Some Language.

1hr 58min/118min.

13 F-Bombs.

3.5/4 Stars, Thumbs Up

"I'm trying to be romantic, and you're distracting me with your kinkey fuckery."

-Anastasia Steele(Dakota Johnson)

"Fifty Shades Darker" is the "exciting" second chapter of the infamous "Fifty Shades" trilogy. It has a beginning, a middle and somewhat of an end. Is it sexy? Somewhat. Is it steamy? Actually, in two scenes, yes, but only because our protagonists are standing in a hot shower. Look, no one sees these movies expecting high art; they wanna be entertained and potentially titillated. I've seen a lot of reviewers call out certain plot elements for this film and regarding them as unnecessary and wildly stupid, but I'm not lying to any of you when I say that all of these elements are taken straight from the book. I'm personally a fan of autobiographies and nonfiction books regarding movies and music, but I HAD to check these books out. They're poorly written(a second grader, if they wanted to, could do better), have COUNTLESS grammatical issues and are poorly edited. The publishers never took a close look at these pieces of soon-to-be classic literature because sentences, mostly questions, will be missing the last word, therefore negating the whole thing. Example: "Can I go to the store?" is translated to "Can I go to the?" The dialogue in the final film is somewhat along the lines of this. I'm getting ahead of myself; let's take this step by step, inch by inch(not dignifying that) and notch by notch.

Anastasia Steele(Dakota Johnson) is still recuperating from leaving her mysteriously dull-I mean, interesting beau Christian Grey(Jamie Dornan) after pushing her to her sexual limits. The two, almost like clockwork, meet back up at a gallery opening for Ana's photographer friend, Jose(Victor Rasuk). They soon get back together(literally within the first ten minutes) and are back to doing the three things they're good at: Finding out secrets about each other, fighting and sexual congress. But, uh oh, we have three new characters to deal with. There's Jack Hyde(Eric Johnson), Ana's sleazy, yet charming, boss at S.I.P.(Seattle Independent Publishing) who may or may have a burning desire for Ana(I didn't accidentally leave "not" out of that sentence). There's Elena Lincoln(Kim Basinger), Christian's original "mentor", I guess. Finally, there's Leila(Bella Heathecoate), a past submissive of Christian's that could've been an interestingly essayed character, but spends all of her scenes looking menacing and whimpering like a lost puppy, when need be. Will more secrets be revealed about Christian's past? Will Jack succeed in winning over Ana? Will a poster for the deliriously dumb 2004 film "The Chronicles Of Riddick" show up in the background? Do cats meow?

As of this writing, I still have a few reviews on the backburner, one of them being for "xXx: Return Of Xander Cage", but both that movie and this one share something in common. A good screenwriting tip for any writers out there is to read your dialogue out loud and see if it sounds sensible. If it doesn't, rework it or scrap it entirely. The makers of "Xander Cage" and this film clearly didn't abide by this rule as the dialogue is, for lack of a better term, something I like to call "Heinously Anus". Take for example our first intimate encounter; as Christian disrobes Ana of her undergarments, taking them off of her ankles, he starts to rise up, but she places her hand on his head, keeping him on his knees and says: "Kiss me". Take another scene, where Ana uses the term "kinky fuckery", granted, a phrase used in the book, but what exactly is "kinky fuckery"? It sounds like something I would say if something in my house isn't working right("The damn DVR didn't record 'House Hunters', that's some kinky fuckery, right there"). Take the scene where Christian marks, on his body, lines where Ana is not allowed to touch. He decides to do this with her lipstick, of all things, and, after it being on him for awhile, she asks to wash it off. His response? "Don't stray far from the lines, Ana." At the gallery exhibit, there are 6 life-size portraits of Ana(at this point, Jose has stopped being cute and turned into a bit of a maniac) and, what do you know, Christian buys every single one of them. His reasoning: "I don't like strangers gawking at you, Ana". Did anybody, ANYBODY proofread this? Why is Anastasia so driven by Christian, anyway? I think after a scene in the first half-hour, where the two are getting ready for a charity, masquerade ball run by Christian's parents where he makes her put metal balls up somewhere(surprisingly, not through the backdoor entrance), I would've run for the hills. These balls are never explained. What they do is unknown to the audience because Christian never explains it. Do they vibrate? Do they offer some sort of stimulation? Do they give off a sonar signal when a submarine is nearby? I don't know; the movie gives zero explanation to the point where I got curious. Professor Haines is gonna tell you. A simple type of "metal balls adult toys" into Google will tell you that these are vibrating, "Ben-Wa" balls for stimulation in that area. OK, the point is, I shouldn't have to look up a sex toy to understand what it is, because the erotic movie I'm watching wants to be a prissy little kid and not tell you anything. Christian is also a controlling nightmare of a person. If Ana breathes in the wrong direction, he throws a hissy fit. You would think being away from her for a little while would make him change his ways, slightly, but no, here he is, back to his old ways.

The amount of time that these two spend together would seem, at least, to any normal person, to be a few months spaced out overtime. In actuality, these two spend five, that's right, FIVE whole weeks together before(and sorry, but, if you do care, SPOILER ALERT), Christian decides to propose marriage. The time just FEELS longer, because these movies move at the pace of a snail. Christian, also, for reasons that aren't really delved into, has Ana's bank account info. Why? So he can pay her the $24,000 that he received for selling Ana's old car, which, by the damn way, is something he couldn't have possibly done without her knowledge; she would've needed to sign a title, etc. All of these grievances can be attributed to the writing, coming from a screenplay by Niall Leonard(E.L. James' husband, so we know who's getting whipped on and off-screen). A little research on some of the behind the scenes process of these two films and you'll find out that the director of the first film, Sam Taylor-Johnson(wife of actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson) left the series after finding E.L. difficult to work with. Why? Because E.L., much like her monstrous creation of Christian, is controlling, and denied even the smallest changes from novel to screen. How can these movies have an opportunity to grow or be given the chance by film reviewers if you don't allow other people's creative input? Also, how much are some of these editors being paid? From what I found out, VFX artists were hired onto the first film, to digitally add on pubic hair to Dakota Johnson, simply because it's how her character was in the book. Forget the masterful effects and stunt work of "Mad Max: Fury Road" or the technical prowess of "Furious 7", "Fifty Shades Of Grey" should've taken home the "Best Special Effects" Oscar in 2015.

Dakota Johnson still manages to shine radiantly in such a thankless part, that it's a wonder she doesn't get more recognition. She breathes life into Ana and makes her an independent force to be reckoned with. Jamie Dornan is a little better in this film than in the previous entry, but he's still very wooden and awkward. This makes no sense, especially when seeing him in interviews. In interviews, Dornan is massively charming, adorable and even funny, so why can't he bring those traits to this role? Just because Christian is a severely damaged individual who always wants to piss and moan and brood all the time(even after surviving a pointless helicopter crash(I know the whole reason behind it, but that's to be explained in the third film), doesn't mean he can't have other "shades" of emotion. Credit, however, has to go to screenwriter, Leonard, for not having Christian refer to his dead mother as a "crack whore" in every other line as he did in the books. Marcia Gay Harden returns as Christian's adoptive mother, Grace, and is still quite good. Newcomer to the series, Kim Basinger, is severely underused as Christian's initial introduction to the BDSM lifestyle. Eric Johnson is unusually good as slimy perv Jack Hyde, Ana's boss at S.I.P. Bella Heathecoate is good, but also underused, as Leila Williams, a former submissive of Christian's targeting Ana. Rita Ora is still only OK as Christian's sister, Mia, though thankfully free of the disastrous fright wig she was forced to wear in the first. Eloise Mumford is still solid in her brief return as Ana's BFF, Kate. Luke Grimes is also here, again, as Christian's brother, Elliot, but... who honestly cares? That's how much he resonates with the viewer. Finally, Victor Rasuk is still unintentionally creepy playing an unintentionally creepy guy, that being Jose. Yes, I get that he's still got a hard crush for Ana, but he's long since turned down a point of no return and is one of the subtlest, creepiest characters outside of the horror genre.

It seems like I'm making this out to be one of the worst films of 2017, so far, but I loved every minute of the movie, actually. It's trash and it knows it's trash. It runs with this notion to the fullest effect and has a lot of fun with it. I criticize the movie because it's fun to do so. The only real detriment I have with this movie are two little things. First, there's a lot of female nudity coming from Johnson in these movies, including full-frontal, but barely any from Dornan(he, reportedly, signed a contract prohibiting from having his frank and beans(or "dooleywhacker" as my grandmother, for whatever, inexplicable reason, describes it) and therefore, won't do any full-frontal nudity), which is a little unfair. Also, this movie has the balls(figuratively, not literally) to interrupt itself, halfway through the end credits to showcase a 15 second teaser trailer for "Fifty Shades Freed"(due out on February 9th, 2018). How cute, it thinks it's a Marvel movie. If you wanna see this, go right ahead. It's a lot of fun, I'm glad I saw it and am looking forward to seeing the final installment. Hopefully this will be one of the greatest climaxes to a franchise in cinema history(Why are all of my jokes extremely on point in this review?).

Addendum(05/22/2017): "Fifty Shades Darker" has been released to DVD, Bluray and Digital HD with an unrated cut, and I wouldn't be doing my duty if I didn't cover it. Whereas the unrated cut for the first film ran only three minutes longer, this cut runs a whopping fourteen minutes longer, extending it to the length of a "Fast & Furious" escapade. The first bit of new content is a scene occurring right after Ana and Christian meet back up at Jose's art exhibit. Before they go to the restaurant, Christian takes her to some sort of alley and just starts kissing her before Ana stops him and, almost verbatim, repeat the same dialogue exchange we just heard in the exhibit. Why this is in here, I'm not too sure. Then there's a scene right after the two go out for breakfast, where Ana unfurls an unnaturally humongous umbrella and asks Christian who the mysterious girl is that keeps following after her. There aren't any other noticeable differences for another half-hour, but the next thing that happens is extended thrusting and facial expressions during the "spreader bar" scene. The next is when the two come home after a saucy encounter on an elevator and this is where a bigger omission takes place: the pool table scene. Christian gets a call as Ana saunters into a room with a massive fireplace and huge pool table. The two make a bet as they play the game and, believe it or not, the scene, for three to four minutes, comes across as genuinely sexy, with Ana's playing skills coming across as a playful tease. This is diminished once the two commence sexually aggrandizing themselves on said table. I would be shocked, had the scene not been already covered, in detail, in the book. The helicopter sequence is longer, insomuch that it shows the copter going down longer and the actual collision. A scene shows the news announcing Christian and companion safe right before he walks back into his home, instead of him just waltzing in as was shown in the previous version. The dinner scene, directly following this, is slightly longer. Directly after the two's red room escapade, the two cavort on their bed, in the nude. Directly after this, Ana shares a phone call with her mom, in which she informs her that Christian has asked her to marry her, to which she's said yes, even though an actual proposal hasn't yet taken place. There's all the sordid details, nothing more, nor less.

"Split"(2017) Film Review

2017-02-05T13:21:00.000-08:00

Rated PG-13 For Disturbing Thematic Content And Behavior, Violence And Some Language

1hr 57min/117min.

3.5/4 Stars, Thumbs Up

"He's done awful things to people and he'll do awful things to you. I also have blue socks."

-Kevin(as Hedwig)(James McAvoy)

M. Night Shyamalan has had a wildly mixed career. 1999's "The Sixth Sense" was a tremendous ghost story. 2000's "Unbreakable" was a solid follow up film; an alternate superhero film unlike any other. 2002's "Signs" was his first misfire; a sloppy alien movie that a lot of people love and a lot hate. 2004's "The Village" and 2006's "Lady In The Water" were ambitious, but boring. 2008's "The Happening" was fun B-movie and 2010's "The Last Airbender", 2013's "After Earth" and 2015's "The Visit" were all terrible. Needless to say, there was a bit of intrigue and hesitation on my part when I first saw trailers for the film. There were ways that this could've gone bad. Shyamalan has had ambitious ideas that flopped, after all. I'm very happy to say that "Split" is an incredibly strong film and his first good film since 2000's "Unbreakable". It might have to do with the story, the writing, James McAvoy, or all three.

The first scene that's shown in the trailer is also the first scene shown in the movie. Three girls, Casey(Anya Taylor-Joy), Claire(Haley Lu Richardson) and Marcia(Jessica Sula) are chloroformed and kidnapped by a mysterious man named Kevin(James McAvoy). Kevin has D.I.D.: Dissociative Identity Disorder. He has 23 different personalities coagulating inside his head. There's Barry, an outgoing artist and fashion snob; Dennis, a control freak with intense OCD; Hedwig, a nine year old boy; Patricia, a motherly figure; so on and so forth. Together, the personalities are known as "The Horde". These three girls have been under their watch for quite a while and are being kept as an offering for an unknown entity only known as "The Beast". Some personalities are more power-hungry than others, causing potential discord and confusion for the three girls whose lives are on the line.

What's interesting to note is that two stories are kind of going on back and forth. The main story and the other involving the backstory of Casey. Casey is a bit of a damaged figure, but details of this story are best left for audiences to discover on their own. It should be noted that the writing, particularly for a horror movie, is exceptionally top-notch. In a screenplay by Shyamalan himself, he treats Kevin as a very troubled being, rather than an outright monster. Sure, as the movie plays out, Kevin exhibits monstrous traits beyond his control, but still seems to feel sympathetic for him because it's out of his hands. The three girls are also well-developed humans, rather than caricatures. Some of the dialogue is very clunky, particularly in Claire and Marcia's lines, but that's the only detriment in an, otherwise, fine-tuned movie. Casey is a very three-dimensional character, her plight is the one that's followed the most out of the three girls; the screenplay giving unfounded layers rarely glimpsed onscreen.

Let's get to the real meat of the movie: James McAvoy. McAvoy is one of the most underrated actors currently working in film, today, and he gives a performance amazing beyond any words that I could write. In playing at least 6 different people(Barry, Dennis, Patrica, Kevin, Hedwig, Janice), he gives each one of these people their own distinctive traits. Barry seems to be the most reasonable out of them all, the one that seems to be at the forefront most of the time. Dennis is very strict, very stern and very controlling. If there's a tiny piece of dust on your shirt, he'll demand it to be removed so he can wash it. Patricia acts like a mother to the girls, feeding them and brushing their hair; it's almost as if she's the calm before the storm. Hedwig is a nine year old child, so when need be, McAvoy acts like he's nine; saying random things because he just thought of them, drawing whatever he feels like and dancing. McAvoy is so, so exceptional that the Academy, come next year, should keep an eye on his role in this when it comes time to announce nominees. Anya Taylor-Joy gives her best performance, yet(after 2016's "The Witch" and "Morgan") as Casey, a fragile girl caught at the forefront of the madness.

"Split" grips it's fist around the viewer's body and refuses to let up on it's vice-like grip. The entire time, the movie makes the heart pound and the hands grip even tighter on the armrest. The film has reinvigorated my faith in M. Night. It'll be interesting to see where he decides to go next; without giving anything away, the ending reveals what Shyamalan has been laying out all along and that ignites even more intrigue to see where he can go. In the middle of all of this is James McAvoy, giving an amazing performance and carrying the movie through multiple personalities, something that no actor has really done before. As a theater experience, it's wildly fun, but viewing it at home will be just as effective.

"Sleepless"(2017) Film Review

2017-01-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

Rated R For Strong Violence And Language Throughout

1hr 35min/95min.

3/4 Stars, Thumbs Up

81 F-Bombs

"It wasn't no easy hit, man, they got T!"

-Vincent Downs(Jamie Foxx)

"Sleepless" has no business working in any way, shape or form, but for some odd reason, it does. As the film plays out, it reminds one more and more of an action film straight out of the 90's. Funny, because the movie is an American remake of the 2011 French film "Sleepless Night"(unseen by me). Maybe that's the way the filmmakers intended; that way its more accessible to an American Audience. Whatever the case, it works. It's entertaining, it's mildly suspenseful and, at the end of they, it gets it's job done. It is predictable as all hell and has a myriad of cliches that would make a direct-to-video movie blush, but if a movie can make those two things work, then by all means, it's doing it's job, even if some of the twists are seen from three miles away.

Jamie Foxx plays Vincent Downs, a cop who dabbles in some crooked criminal undertakings. Because of this, his relationships at home have been strained, due to his focus on work, or what he perceives as work. His ex(Gabrielle Union) works at the local hospital. He is to pick up his son, Thomas(Octavius J. Johnson) from the waiting room and take him to his baseball game, returning him promptly at 9:00. Things go haywire, very quickly, as Thomas is kidnapped and Vincent is stabbed by men from a business deal gone awry. What Stanley(Dermot Mulroney) wants are the bags containing 25 kilos of cocaine that were taken from the wrong people, so he can transfer it to Rob Novak(Scoot McNairy), in exchange for Thomas. Hot on Vincent's trail is Jennifer Bryant(Michelle Monaghan), a cop who knows something's up with him and is on his trail to sniff him out, exposing him for the person he really is.

The movies tropes are lied out onscreen as the movie goes on. We have double crosses, people who aren't who they initially seem or say they are, the main character's strained home life, a kidnapping plot, drug dealings, profane exclamations and ballistically, brutal, bloody violence galore. What's interesting to note is that most of the movie(at least 80%) takes place in one location, this one being a casino. The cinematography and set designs are top-notch and sleek, perfectly setting the scene so the film can get into the nitty gritty. The art-direction and use of color is also prominently on display. The film does, on occasion, get a little clunky; a scene involving a car on display in the casino driving off is an obvious example of poor CGI. The film also has a problem with explaining certain details too many times. Once a key revelation involving Downs is brought into play, it's expected that other characters bring it up, but not to the extent in which they explain it. Every time it's brought up, a character will go into the same exact explanation for why it's important.

Jamie Foxx is solid in the role of Downs, but speaks too softly throughout most of the movie. At times, it's hard to decipher what he's saying. Michelle Monaghan is a brilliant actress and gives her all here as Bryant, a cop who's put up with too much guff and is looking to put a stop to it. Scoot McNairy is deliciously over the top, but doesn't over do it. Unfortunately, his character isn't that interesting. T.I. seems to be more effective as an actor than a rapper. I'm not too big a fan of his albums or music, but whenever I see him onscreen, I would be lying if I said he didn't exude a certain amount of charm. He should look into doing more acting. I'm not saying completely give up rap, just explore other avenues that you're good at. David Harbour is good, as always, as Bryant's partner Dennison. Gabrielle Union is fine, as usual, but is stuck in a five minute, one-dimensional role. Lastly, Dermot Mulroney is kind of bland as one of the central heavy's, Stanley Rubino.

At the time of writing this, "Sleepless" has been taken out of most theaters, due to underwhelming box office returns. Is the movie perfect? Absolutely not. Is it going to revitalize the world of movies as it stands? Probably not. But, as a fun movie to watch on a snowy or rainy Sunday, it fits perfectly. The movie has a sequel-baiting ending, which is kinda cute, but how, exactly, a sequel would play out for this movie is unclear. Sure, we could get one or two or seven direct to video follow-ups, but is it worth it? I say: "Not Really."

Qwertee T-Shirt Update!

2017-01-27T09:51:00.003-08:00

Qwertee T-Shirt Update!

2017-01-27T09:51:00.001-08:00

DVD & Blu-Ray Update: The Slightly Drunk Edition!

2016-12-22T17:42:00.001-08:00

JRM - Black Friday 2016 Pick-Ups w/ Channel Update

2016-12-10T19:13:00.001-08:00

The Ugly Christmas Sweater!

2016-11-28T16:00:00.001-08:00

Vlogging Bastendo Webisode 2: Movie Going Experiences!

2016-11-08T15:33:00.001-08:00

Vlogging Bastendo Webisode 1: Halloween - Saw movies!

2016-10-31T16:27:00.001-07:00

JRM - "Eyes Without a Face (1960)" Movie Review

2016-10-30T22:25:00.001-07:00

JRM - "The Changeling (1980)" Movie Review

2016-10-30T20:39:00.001-07:00

JRM - "The Phantom Carriage (1921)" Movie Review

2016-10-28T15:09:00.001-07:00

JRM - "Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)" Movie Review

2016-10-26T21:12:00.001-07:00