Teenage Lolita

All I want for Christmas...

2011-12-24T16:24:00.000+08:00

It's the time of the year again.

Merry X'mas, my virtual mates.

Last Christmas Eve, I was still bartering away.

Probably getting ready for another booking this year.

Mascara, blush, lipstick and that much loved corset... Checking the time, and the number of booking.

Being pleased with the 'Moo-lahs', I was about to make this 'festive season'.

Client 1, lunch booking... He was from out-of-state... Telling me that he just had to get away from the incessant annoying much un-wanted season festivity...

Every year, for the past 15years ... He has been booking 3different girls for each getaway.

The night buzzed on as I was driven from hotels to mansions to hotels again.

This year, I am sitting down in front of my laptop (Drugs & Alcohol Free). Awaiting the dinner, as the smell of smoked turkey and the sound of Christmas jingles penetrates my room.

I can't remember, how did it last felt to be a family.

It's strange.

I wonder how the night will go, and how I would feel tomorrow.

Birthday, yet another.

2011-12-15T14:16:00.000+08:00

6 years, since it all started out.

Older and wiser ? I am in doubt.

This year's birthday, was tragic. Filled with screams, hate, threats and unhappiness.

I am not sure if leaving the country was the best or the worst idea.

Whether, being in the city - reunited with the 'Family' ; picking up, attempting to mend the broken bits that I've long given up and ran away from, was such a good idea after all.

Yes, I have pretty much Zen-ed out. However, the memories and nightmares I left behind in the hustle and bustle of the big city life doesn't seem to be leaving me behind.

The past does catch up with you. Even when you thought you have buried it deep down in the dark abyss.

Even if its just recurring nightmares in your sleep. They find a way of creeping back.

My supposed façade of the 'thousand gold little precious' - uprighteous gentle Asian girl, just isn't holding up.

Reunited, the rest of the family may have been.

Never thought, that might happen one day.

At 23, far far away from being malleable; what are my chances of being a bad girl gone good.

I don't know.

Pre-retirement.

2011-10-20T12:06:00.000+08:00

'Are you sure about this ?' , said Aya.

'No, I'm not too sure. One can never be to sure. I can only make an attempt at it.' , I said with smile.

Aya stared at me , bewildered.

'Kate-chan, you are such a crazy girl. I really don't think you should do this. It's not stable. Why are you doing this?' , Aya sighed.

' Just shut-up and take it. You will need it. Plus, I rather pass this to you than anyone else.' , I said as I handed her my Blackberry.

She looked at me in disbelief.

I walked into the kitchen, just to give her and myself time to ponder over.

'Hey bitch! Kohi, o-cha, coke or cask wine ?' , I shouted.

'Cask wine ? You becoming Bogan? Kate?' , she laughed as she walked over.

'It's for marinating the bloody chicken and your mouth, silly girl!I'm moving out and have drunk anything and everything good.', I chuckled.

Aya, my favorite accomplice. I decided to handover my regulars to her.

' How about this , Kate-chan. I will help you look after these boys while you are awhile. When you decide you have had enough of being a hippie or whatever these white people call themselves. You can call me up! We can get the ball-rolling again! I don't want you to leave! You are the best! ', she said whilst tugging at my sleeve and swinging the Blackberry in her hand.

I thought to myself, 'Might as well. This girl is too much of a friend. To just take off with my contacts without feeling much guilt.'

' Okay then, Aya. You owe drinks. Fk the cask wine. Let's head down to that weird looking backpackers bar and grab some beers!', I said.

'Sounds more like the Kate, I know, Party time! ', Aya cheered as we put our heels on.

That was a great night. After which, I decided to disappear from civilization or just the scene.

Lies & Truth. Lies or Truth.

2011-10-15T14:19:00.000+08:00

Tell me sweet little lies, that my ears would like to digest.

Paint me a pretty rainbow, so my eyes can feast upon.

I'm out of the country, thrown back in the city.

So how true can I be to myself. Test time ?

What are the lies within the truth to be fabricTed?

What are the truth(s) within lies that have been told ?

I'm anxious. I'll be spending sometime with the family very soon.

Wonder how that would all change.

In a recent phone call, Mom expressed her wish of us all settling down as a family.

Finally? Isn't it a little too late ? Maybe, maybe not.

So yes, she has quit her job sometime ago to assist the twins with their lives.

She took my advice.

' Mom, you can still help them before it's too late. Before they turn 21 . The game might forever be over for you. You might never know who they are. '

I remembered telling her that 4years ago. She did take progressive steps to give up her career.

However, I still get random calls blaming me for the lack of in her life.

I guess it's not easy for her to let go of something she took so ling to build up.

But, the twins are behaving more humanely ; less spoilt and much happier.

Anxiety bites me, as I think of the 'free life' I will be giving up to give 'being in a family' a chance again.

Then again, isn't everything just an illusion of the mind ?

Anyway, on a lighter note . I wonder what the (city-chic) family would think of me greeting them in muddy gumboots and dreadlocked hair.

Kate, the fully qualified country bumpkin.

Probably atrocious and unacceptable.

'The only constant is change.' - Heraclitus

So the only way to survive is adapt.

As Darwin would say, 'It's the ones that are most adaptable to change.' (That will survive)

I'm a survivor! Or, at very least I try,

Fingers crossed. I hope that I will survive this test run in the city & family.

Also, not let the competition, greed, glam & what's not seep too much into my soul.

I feel like a rehab patient.

Closed.

2011-09-28T17:30:00.001+08:00

Yes, I did close my blog for abit.

I felt a need of spring-cleaning.

A prick at my Moral Conscience.

When young girls and wannabe pimps send my mails asking me for advice into the trade.

My only advice is that of a karmic one. No, its a no go. Please don't.

Learn to be content; learn to deal with the hard truth of reality .

It will in turn make you a stronger person.

Slant me if you like. But, I'm living with barely anything now. I'm very very very (extremely) happy & content now. More than I have ever been!!!

Cautionary Tales.

2011-09-25T16:33:00.000+08:00

Don't do it. It's bad karma. No matter what reasons it may be for. Be good. Stay home, kids.

Yes, despite all that I've blogged, said & done.

Young malleable minds that I might have influenced. I'm sorry.

I've come a big circle to realise that being involved in the trade no matter what reasons it maybe.

Does start to corrode who you are and rob you of your self-esteem.

Where does it stop ? When does it stop ? How much is enough ? What is enough ?

"I'll just do it for awhile."

"I'll just do it till we pay off the house"

I've heard girls said... But, it's a never-ending cycle.

Despair.

Yes, you may come from a broken home lack of love.

Yes, you may have financial difficulties.

But, one day karma does catch up with you.

& What you may be doing.

Yes, the temptation and material lures may be great.

But, your diginity and self-respect is worth so much more.

I do understand, myself mentioning that 'love' or 'feelings' may not be as worthy as substantial material wealth . However, it's a regrettable statement made by an angst 16year old.

I believe in situations of peril, Social capital is more worthy than that of Material capital.

Sex, drugs & money. Afterwhile, they slowly become one.

2011/Half/Just be.

2011-07-18T12:33:00.002+08:00

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first."

— Jim Morrison

2011, July. We've reached the second half of yet another new year. Thoughts manifested, dreams achieved and plans materialized.

What else is there ?

After my 22nd birthday last year, I decided to take a break from the trade. Moved to the countryside and after to the bush.

I might actually be retired from the trade.

I've come to realise how little I could actually live with and be content and happy. That most importantly to be yourself and let your inner-self shine through.

During my time escorting, I've made a good friend and some bad ones. However, with a belief in goodness and certainty that all will be well. Things always turn amazingly well.

I've come to realise that there are more to 'material' capital. That maybe, sex for sale isn't the way to come about to find happiness, truth or predictability.

That no amount of material wealth or even the 'realness' of money would ever satisfy beings. Other than themselves.

No doubt, the trade maybe lucrative and something I enjoy. However, I need to caution youths that - becareful and beware if you are thinking or have entered the trade. I do understand the 'veils' needed and facades we have to put on. One needs to note that,

"Our subconcious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."

Sidney Madwed

With that, the more we pretend to be someone else we are not, the more we do things we don't like; We eventually end up losing bits of ourselves each time, till we eventually lose all of what was true to us or even ourselves.Which, inevitably comes with the nature of the job, the act of trying to be someone else or even trying to hide who we truly are.

At the end of the day, we are only mere mortals.

I, thank all my readers and supporters for the emails and support over the last 5years. I hope that everyone enjoyed and continue to join me on this journey - called life.

The important thing in life, I've learned over the 5years of blogging and this experience of mine that.

No matter what you do, be true to yourself.

Which is really easy to lose sight of, with all the seemingly luring temptations of our Capitalistic Society.

Be true to yourself, and don't be afraid to be who you are and want to be.

Because, life's all about standing up for your rights and what you believe in.

May, own it.

2011-05-16T23:17:00.000+08:00

Living in the bush of Amazing Australia.

Falling in and out of strategically planned mind-love games with people.

The dialectics of life.

I've been writing in my personal journals, instead.

Come to term that - work and what we do is - none of anyone fucking business . We should lead life the way we deem right.

It's our lives, we own it.

O ! Mere mortals.

2011-01-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

I wonder how far some people would dive into the depths of their inner soul . I want to know what drives them to do the things they do. Suppress who they are, sacrifice their soul in exchange for perceived security & happiness.

The indulgence in artificial superficiality of the cunning ideological capitalist way of life.

No doubt, a false sense of security and the ease of material attainment is better than none.

However, is it worth it ? This blanket of falsity we wrap ourselves around.

Tell me darlings.

What's your inner construct made of ?

Another Louis Vuitton bag ? That limited Ed pair of Chanel earrings.

Kate talking about giving up the pursue of material wealth ? The life of spiritual fulfillment ?

Money ? Is always good to have .

The problem lies with how and who you spend it on/with.

Equivocal.

Birthdays.

2010-11-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

I just had an early birthday celebration over the weekend. The biggest one I ever had or can remember since I was 14 . ?

Gosh, We held over in Port Melbourne at Vlad's place. He invited all his Russian friends and we also had a couple of randoms over. Dennis was over too...

We had a couple of strippers over. A bbq, so many slabs of beer and shots of Russian vodka...

Gosh... It was mad, despite the rain.

I like birthday parties, but I don't especially like to hold them myself.

Anyway, Thank you boys for letting me do absolutely nothing for my birthday except wake up and hop in a car.

Please let me know ?

2010-11-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

Just got home from a booking with a massive client. + lots of substance.

Yes, I am getting abit paranoid that this apparent blog which I first came to seek anonymous solace had become an over-whelming site with dumb fuck comments on it.

2 - I can 1 disable the account and go back to old-fashioned diary writing.

2, just disable comments .

I can't really be fucked. I will write when I want to write.

Anyway, I just came back from 2 fantastic clients today n made a ton...

Very happy Kate.

Although, there is still this lingering question I have for working-girls & the Married ?

1. Working girls, How do you personally feel about Married Clients ?

2. Married Clients, How do you feel about seeking services ?

Mmm... I have no qualms about fucking the married. I know , each to their own.

However, being the inquisitive usual me... I want to dive into the depths of emotions.

Knifes & Naked marathons.

2010-11-24T19:10:00.008+08:00

Today, I had a pretty cute amateur client. Someone who proclaims he hasn't done 'it' before. - getting a callgirl.

Don't be shy , boys ! We ain't here to judge ! We are here to Fuck & have fun !

Gosh... Any you boys trying to call a girl for the first time, put on some confidence would you. :)

We are 'real girls' too you know. hehe...

We like to be entertained as much as you like too... :)

somedays.

2010-11-21T02:40:00.001+08:00

I do feel like I am capable of loving you (anyone).

But, somedays, I just feel completely out of it...

I feel empty, silenced, just so ... you know... like you are feeling... nothingness... nothing is worth while anymore...

Like why are you struggling so hard.

Who are you really actually trying to prove a point to ?

Whose point was it anyway ?

Bouncing back and fro...

Wondering what's the right medium for you.

Which is the right crowd for you.

Who is the right person for you

Why is this the best way you can be ?

And, Finally ... How are you going to come about being who you think / feel you want / can be ?

Today I visited - hung out with a ex-client of mine.

He's a pretty famous artist here in Australia. I wouldn't name names...

The community is wayyyy to small here.

Anyway, lovely as he was... charlies after charlies and wine after wine we had...

We mixed music on his decks and cracked jokes...

It was nice...

But, working girls out there...

Figure out for me...

I KNEW THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING SEXUAL INVOLVED IF WE MET UP AGAIN.

HOWEVER !!!

He said we were going to chill out with ( *****) of course.

Okay, maybe might have thought I was in for the free charlies.

But, I thought he was an alright person to hang out with - not exactly the best lay. Pretty alright kisser - gives good pussy jobs, Lol...

Anyway, he started kissing me tonight and playing with me.

However, when I stopped him and told him if we went on I needed to ger a condom & yes, I ran off.

When I came back he said he couldn't do it anyway tonight & we are better off being friends ?

Okay, I know I kinda did brush him off...

But, I don't really understand the psychology or physics being this ?

help someone ????

PS: East Coast if you are reading this... I can't access your blog. Hope we can communicate. LOL!

Right, Sir.

2010-11-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Reports from the Melbournian Eurasian escort :

Is my sub--existence worthy ?

I don't know . Anyway, back to basics.

I've acquired a unique favoritism for Vietnamese & Turkish food after being in melbourne .

Nom Nom Nom...

Working have been alright for me ...

As usual the high in demand Kate... Gets her say with the agency,

Lol... I have been telling them which repeats are okay for me and which are not.

On the side, I have been having a couple of toy boys and repeat affairs. All which think they are smarter than the the other and Kate is. hahaha...

O god, would they ever understand. I never would wish upon anyone to bring a Child up in such a Media-Saturated World . What values would they inherit ?

I guess my relationship with WG hs finally became the much needed turning point / learning curve for me.

Joel ? He was just a mere ambition and point that I needed to prove to my Asian parents that one of their daughters could actually date a male ?

Even if I dive into the depths of my soul and sub-consciousness I would not be able to recall the motives and the decisions I made,.

In moments of reminiscence, I would honestly say that I did at some point of time believed I was in love with Joel, and especially my 1st love.

However, with regards to WG ...

Till today, I would like to reserve my comments.

Rebound guy ? Maybe.

However, I do know for sure whatever I had with Andy (Scottish ex-housemate), was real at that point of time.

After which, I am no longer sure.

Its almost 2 am in melbourne, Australia now.

I am here living right in the middle of what's the next up coming country... listening to the random club mix penetrating into my house as I await phone calls from the agency for the next 'performance'/trick I have to turn.

People! I have just secured an internship too... With a worthy organization, I hope you guys are proud of me. I will despite what I might have become try my very best in helping others better themselves. Have the chance they never thought they would never have in life.

I may have strayed from the mainstream. However, It was my choice.

A hard one, definitely.

This isn't a life for just the light-hearted.

What would life have been if I wasn't so determined in writing and experimenting in the forbidden 6years ago.

God, another birthday awaits.

Drivers , Receptionist & the Working girls.

2010-11-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

There are a couple of drivers working for the company. Fred, Aaron, Benjamin , Sullivan, Tristan and Albert ... Names I can remember at the moment.

There are the ones doing it for the extra cash for the family, there are the ones that have dedicated their lives to the job and there are the ones who are just curious .

Benjamin & Sullivan are what we called the 'Sly snitches' . The ones whom seems soft, chatty and trust worthy. But, in actual fact they are not on the girl's side but the company's.

There's Fred & Aaron dedicated family men. Fred's working to pay off his alimonies & Aaron working off the pay his daugther's exorbidant private school fees.

Tristan the cool nice guy. whom you can never suss out.

Albert the pervy righteous one, who is constantly annoyed with the 'Office snitch' - Benjamin & Sulllivan.

Its always interesting to watch the drama unfold infront of you.

The drivers vs drivers.

Receptionist vs. receptionist .

And, the working girls vs the working girls.

Going down.

2010-10-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

O god, my tainted girls with smudged eyeliners and messy hair. What did you just got yourself into?

A lot of girls in the lower call ranks are actually doing this because they need to.

Should I be ashamed that I opted for this profession willingly . This might actually be my life long ambition not else.

There's often the scrutiny to being a callgirl.

Guys just want it for free. And, if it isn't free they whine and label it bad.

Conrad was asking me the if any of my ex s ever went down on me. I said yeah.

' A friend once told me only if you really love a girl would you do it.'

Haha, his friend is wrong. Anyway, we'll go on with his story.

' I had a huge fight with my ex, and I really wanted to make it up to her. So I asked what can I do to make it up to her. '

She said, kiss my pussy.

' So I did it. And I actually liked it'

I didn't know whether to laugh at his naïve belief or what she said.

Maybe it still is something special that people have when they are in a loving relationship .

Kate knows for sure whether a guy is in love or not he can and will go down on you.

Working girls? You will agree with me , yes?

the (un)conventions

2010-10-14T13:57:00.006+08:00

( Port Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, 10/10/2010)

Benders after benders.

My indulgence, in sex, alcohol & marijuana, excessive ?

The new Madame's assistant wasn't too happy with me, bailing on work weekends after weekends.

O well, now that I have a double major to fall back on, professional jobs and a offer to do my Masters / Phd. The Kate's getting abit cocky.

We spent Sunday lazing around Port Melbourne, sipping Champagne, snacking on cheese & crackers.

Denis refused drinks, Hassan drank and I the corrupted one pulled out a pipe and started puffing away.

Denis started freaking out and told me off.

'You shouldn't be smoking pipes in public.', he cautioned.

'I don't give a fk. I'm a tourist. ' , I huffled as I took another bold puff.

As some children ran past, oblivious to my indulging behaviour.

Discussing how we can further enrich our lives and short friendship.

With University almost done with, pressure from the folks to either further the studies or start a proper job and the strong urge to find life of my own.

Anyway, the girls in the agency have been pretty bitchy upon finding out that a newbie like moi has regulars already.

O well, experience people, experience.

Vlad arrived just before Sunset to give us a ride to the Housing Commissions in South melbourne to pick up some of the herbs.

Port Melbourne 10/10/2010.

For myself only.

Whilst I was getting ready for work. They went out with their merry making.

Yet, another work - interrupted evening.

O my darling, regulars...

How I loathe you and love you.

Sedation.

2010-10-12T17:59:00.001+08:00

My dearest sedated people. How are you feeling right now. If you dug down deep what are the pellets of emotions you find ?

Sedation. A cocktail of prescriptions and dope.

Does that make you tick or numb ?

I wonder.

are we really walking down so deep an entrenched and jaded journey. Or are we just too fabulous to face up to this broken world.

My dearest sedated people.

Again and Again.

2010-10-04T19:13:00.002+08:00

An innocent introduction and coming out session for Hassan (My new best gay buddy) turnt into a 11say bender. With, Kate dissapearing in between parties for jobs (sex).

The AFL - Australian football league celebration here have been pretty intense. With the Magpies - Collingwood winning.

I've fallen 'in - infuation' a couple of times in the last few weeks. One with a German baker, another a MD of an Investment bank and last night a Photographer.

I've been pretty lucky here in Sydney, entertaining the youngest of clients I've had. I guess BDSM is an accuquired taste. Working as a High Class Vanilla Call girl can be pretty fun too.

I've also realise the tremdous drugs use & single mothers who are working in the lower class agencies. Mmmm...

Working in Sydney has been a very different and eye opening experience for me.

Over the weekends, there was this English guy whom I never thought I see again. He had when I just started out, he had photos of his girlfriend all over his apartment. On Saturday he made a 3hour booking for me and another girl. Very strange...

So its the first time I've seen an African girl naked. Lol...

I guess, some guys just need abit of that 'dream - fantasy' once in awhile to feel alive again.

Some guys, are just too bored -lazy they can't pick up.

I feel sorry for some of the guys who have really small ****. I know how girls can be bitches.

Melbourne.

2010-09-14T16:06:00.001+08:00

Im currently still on holiday . Just flew over to Melbourne with an Australian girl I did a double with a couple of weeks ago.

Working here for till ...

:)

The customers here seems pretty vanilla. haha...

Couple of young dudes, who think they are rock stars.

Couple of rich businessman who are pretty lonely.

I want some BDSM clients!!!

***Note for east coast !

Join an agency, a good and reliable one of course. Make sure they pay you on time, and at least 50% of what you earn.

In a strip club, like would say about agencies only if they have a good client base!!

But, escorting would be the way. Its more discreet. :) Less politics with the girls, unless you are with one of those agencies that require you to be on call in their smoked filled room all the time.

In full swing.

2010-09-01T05:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry, guys. I've been away for abit. Alot has been happening in my life.

Father fell sick in August, had to fly back to see him. (WG was requested to come with me as well - so I unwillingly forked out the air ticket for him; what a cheap!)

But, yes. As soon as I got back I jumped right back into action.

Within my 1st week at the new agency, I've snapped up myself 4 regulars the next. :)

I am proud of myself.

O yes, I got rid of WG before I started.

He would have gotten in the way of my fruitful business .

With a double degree from a reputable university, does really help you jerk up your value.

So young girls out there! If you think its that simple to just lie on your back till old age. You are wrong. Education does help with everything!

Even if you just want to be an escort.

Self-improvement is the key!

I've been having alot of fun working with this agency. Awesome drivers and I made a few friends with the girls I had parties with.

And, yes, most importantly classy matured men.

:)

I'll be back!

I've an appointment with a 'Lawyer' , who apparently does alot of cocaine .

The willing 3rd party & the (un)willing me.

2010-07-12T01:00:00.001+08:00

Gosh, so you fellow twitters & readers would have remember my spunky 16year old willing adventures.

I guess, there is something the boys out there need to understand. When I am having a session with a client everything and anything is a go - except my anus. If you want me to fist you in the arse, thats fine too.

But, when you are a guy I am dating. I would say, fucking oath, you weird cunt.

No, CJ didn't ask me to do that.

But, he did. Let his friend join us & more.

WOW...

You see, my apartment isn't very big.

Londoners, you know I meant. It doesn't get too big here for a person, and if you want space go to the fucking country.

Plus, like I've said, my bed my space. My house - my energy.

Nvm that, his friend just hopped on the bed while the almost passed out two of us were on it. FIngered me, put on a condom and started fucking me from the back. After which I stared at CJ with a horrified look.

About 2mins into it, I decided to play the part and make it not so awkward. Afterall, there might be a chance of bumping into him again.

I started sucking on CJ while he thrust away.

Mmm.... thats all you get, for now.

That was all before the 2nd Belgium trip happened.

I'm currently on my last day of the 'booking'.

Thinking of heading to Scotland to meet Andy to re-ignite an old flame ?

Or, maybe visit Singapore ? (I've been offered a job that, but not too sure I would take it up. Considering the possibility of bumping into familiar faces)

Groupie?

2010-06-18T16:28:00.001+08:00

As much as you try to plan, work it out , orchestrate something. It usually goes wrong :)

I don't know whether to feel disgusted with myself for going out and sleeping with the CJ .

Here a memory refresher : TripBack.

I met him in Oct '09, while on a 10 day trip with the Ex-Sugar Daddy.

He's the lead in pretty popular and up-coming band. Which, I didn't know until we met up again in London. Knowing nothing about Music I didn't really care.

He is back town now for 2 months to record an album and play a couple gigs.

Yeah, good timing. Just when things between me and WG is tipping of the cliff.

Anyway, he called me up last night to hit some Rock 'n' Roll club that I barely knew existed.

You see the only places you see as an escort is the facade of the Glitterati lifestyle.

As in, the clients bring you to places they enjoy and enjoy showing you off at.

I slept with CJ in 09 before I left for America.

We met up once at a Music festival last year. Nothing happened.

This time, we hooked up 4x in a week.

The rest of his band isn't here yet so he is going on a fun binge.

Something he said this morning made me felt weird.

'Kate, I've been single for 6years , touring for 3-4years . I've not slept with a girl more than twice.'

'Like you, Kate, I prefer to do the runner after sex. - I thought it was funny when u mention that to me the last time. '

'There's something about you that's so unique and special. You're addictive. That's very dangerous.'

'CJ, bullshit. How many girls have you impressed with that line.' (I said that just in case he is trying o play the mind fking games; though he did sounded pretty genuine. But, you'll never know. You never trust anyone completely.)

'You took 2years to invite me in. And, you made me sleep on the couch the first time I came over.'

'I like my bed space. My home is MY SPACE. If you sleep on my bed you will invite your energy into it. We don't want that do we ?'

(Okay, apart from the familial Asian compulsion of 'NO SHOES' in the house. I have a rule about not bringing flings back- even if so. No fucking on the bed.)

Its 4pm now. He is still fast asleep on the couch. WG is coming over to my place to return me some of the cash he owes me. I hope CJ wakes up soon enough.

Total awkwardness might hit if they both came face to face especially since they've met.

One whom I feel deeply for, another whom I lust for.

Its weird, sleeping with 2 different non-clients within the time span of 30hrs.

O well, more drinking tonight mate!

that irky feeling.

2010-06-17T15:42:00.001+08:00

Its irks me when clients burst out sudden verbal request such as... " Say you love me."

To those men who use Escort services, Why do you even bother asking ?

Are you that delusional ?

Reply@ East Coast, Thanks for the compliment. I started out writing before Escorting, after which I did weekly to just randomly in Asia. I did a good few months professionally in London till I was 'bought over' for exclusiveness by an older man - Sugardaddy. Ended it left for the states - with thoughts of settling down. I do it now and then.Only if the offer is up to expectations. Just for the thrill & its always complimenting when someone pays you a flattering amount for your time.

Girls, you would agree with me.

Not sure, if I answered your question.

Why should any female be home crying - cooking away and putting up with the infidels of the male species when they can be lying on lovely Egyptian sheets in a lovely hotel by the Riviera being serve foot & hand. (Plus, being paid for it at the same time)

Capitalise on your sexuality.

After all, 'Capitalism' has indeed proliferated the lives of the masses in every possible way.

If you can't fight it, join it.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask people out there - if there's even any.

Would you say ' I love you' even if you don't mean it ? Just for the 'Capital'.

Why is it so hard ? When some of us can say it so casually?

Why is it so much more difficult saying it when you know you are being paid for it ?

And, to the clients out there.

How much 'extra' would you pay to have it said to you?

Or, does it mean anything when its said to you by whore. :)

awareness?

2010-06-10T18:49:00.000+08:00

Belgium :)

Awareness, is a frighteningly delightful acquisition.

The bare acknowlegdement of the false existence of Santa Claus, is enough to let the later years of a mystical Christmas die off.

In terms of the paranoia upon ever discovering you've been double-crossed; it never ends. You've been enlightened in the sense that its becomes a knowledge to yourself. Betrayal is always a possibility.

On the lighter note, I made a new friend over here in Belgium - after work , of course.

He is a 30year old, Indonesian-Chinese- Belgian, lawyer.

And, no, he doesn't knows what I do for the dough.

We had coffee and a really lovely chat.

He did extent an invitation to his place .

Not in the mood for more false acting or even genuine attention. I turnt him down, but gave him my number.

I enjoy being energize by the presence of people after a job usually. Sex after work, on the hand, makes me feel a strange sense of guilt. So no...

I am meeting the band guitarist whom I became friends with about 2years ago in London soon. He is touring around my area. Definitely another great fuck - unless emotions gets in the way.