tell the man to suck it.

P---I---S---SSssss

2015-02-16T23:12:00.003-05:00

I don't even know where to start politically, so instead I'll just talk about how pissed off I am. lol, or better yet I'll just talk about the things that have been pissing me off lately. And it's not going to be all downers, I'll talk about things that I can do to try and change things, or things that I'm interested in.

I'm pissed about people who fuck up their living environments. Don't throw your shit around, outside. Where you shop, where you live, where you park. It's bad enough when you just do any of that in general, but the places you go? Don't you have any shame? Or pride? If you do these things, you don't. And I hate those types of people. I wish that most of them would just disappear.

I live in Atlanta. And really, I wish most of the general population of this place would just disappear. I still wouldn't like the heat, but 1/2 of my problem would be gone. I'm tired of seeing black shower caps, and fucking pajamas. I'm tired of hearing people tell their kids to git der asses over here, and I'm tired of seeing so much purchasing and consuming of shitty ass food.

What I want, is to go to a place where most people have graduated from highschool. I'd like to go somewhere with a beautiful beach, and nice weather, and water that you can actually get into. I'd like to go somewhere where people are fashionable, and not just about waving their asses back and forth in the air. The girls here are unbelievably slutty acting. The way they walk says it all. So annoying and so gross.

By the way, this blog is onnnnnly a bitching blog. ****DISCLAIMER**** this blog is ONLY for bitching. lol, I'm not sure if you guys remembered that from the day one post. I'm not sure if I ever brought it up again.

What am I doing to change these things? Well, nowadays I'm thinking of Atlanta as just a place that I'm working on some things in and passing through. I'm constantly reminding myself that I actually like some aspects of this place, and I'm using my hate for some aspects of the culture here to cultivate a stronger kind of mind control.

Strangers

2014-11-16T14:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get really confused as to how there can be so much conflict, between people. Especially people of different races or cultures. Like two different nations, that have two different predominant religions. I get how things can be wrong politically, I know that war makes money and I know that certain countries sometimes have access to certain natural resources, and that a lot of natural resources are highly coveted. And, I know that land equals power.

But people, personally, are way more complex. First, you have the ones that are easily influenced, that hardly do any kind of research on their own, and pretty much believe anything that anyone tells them. So, take those people, and then realize that each one of them has an opinion. And they take these opinions everywhere with them, no matter how small their radius is, and they spread it, even if it is like poison, or even if it is ignorant as hell.

And then, to add to this, most people tend to hang around people just.like.them. And I guess that's ok, and I guess it's human nature, at least for some, but most people don't do any research to at least become familiar with the major things of the world. They don't know why Muslims don't eat pork, or the what the Nation of Islam is all about. They don't know the basic fundamentals about the Vatican, or even how any of the wars got started, or what countries are allies, and which are enemies.

So take that kind of person, who knows almost nothing, is prone to believing anything, and thinks that they know everything. Those are your neighbors. Even though most have the resources to figure a lot of things out, most don't even think about the things they have access to working in ways other than superficially.

So what's my point? My point is that if people knew the basics about the world, or even just considered the world as the place that they lived, that things may be at least a few degrees easier.

ATLisims

2014-10-08T13:52:00.001-04:00

more elaborations,
on supidity lol

https://www.facebook.com/jtwilliams.org
DISCLAIMER: THE LIST ACTUALLY GOES ON UNTIL INFINITY,
BUT THIS IS JUST A SPONTANEOUS COLLECTION, THAT'S IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.

What to expect, in the Atl (part I)

2014-07-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

What to expect, in the Atl
an exposure of the underbelly of 'hotlanta' (hoodlanta)

if you're coming to visit, then don't even worry about any of this stuff, it's not really going to apply to you too much. i mean, you'll see it and everything, but it'll be more of a novelty or some sort of form of entertainment versus something that you'd actually have to consider for anything.

if you're going to be moving here, and you're not hood, then there are some things that you need to know. lol, because they do things differently down here. i was born in pittsburgh, and my mom is from canada. my dad is from virginia. i grew up in upstate new york. then i got down to smyrna, ga (a suburb of atlanta) when i was about twelve. i was in middle school, and the middle school had almost all kids of the same race in it. the very first things that i got were: a)you think you're cute because you look like a white girl; b)you think you're cute because you have hair like a white girl; and c) you think you're cute because you talk like a white girl. now, just know i was coming from upstate new york where it was really, really diverse and everyone got along, really well! i had never encountered racism until i got to georgia. and when i heard these kids saying these things, i was like what the hell?! i'm not white, and i can't even understand you, at all.
that's one of the first things that you'll notice when you get here. they speak a kind of english around here that's really, really butchered. even educated people fuck it up. you know what a friend of mine told me once? never mind. lol, it was backwards, and that's just what you get here. a bunch of backwards people who are exceptionally crass and stubborn and hyper-hypocritical. and now, it's not everyone, but if the population is 5 million, then about 2 million are critically mentally impaired. and i don't mean handicapped, i mean, they are handicapped, but it's a kind of self-inflicted handicap. super-brainwashed, addicted to everything ridiculous and uuber-delusional. and loud. you'll never run into people in your LIFE that are any louder than people in atlanta.

is there anything nice to say about the people here? yeah, sure! once in a while, you'll run into a normal person, and it'll be great! because, you'll run into a ton of crazies before you see someone normal. or, it's just that they're so crazy that you can't even realize that there are normal people around. ok ok ok, we're talking about the good things. ok ok ok....ok, they LOVE kids here! well, that's not completely accurate, at all. they love to HAVE kids here. because there are a TON of kids here, but none of them are very cared for. and another good thing, the people here will make your nerves like steel, because when you see it for yourself, over and over, you'll go from total heartbreak to completely desensitized. lol. 'getch yo ass in the ca', NOW!' 'come on little n****r' (i'm not kidding, totally have heard that one), 'don't make me beat the hell out of you!'....no exaggeration at all dude. i can't even remember the last time i heard a typical atlien show their kid love. i mean, i do remember this time in the coffee shop that this homeless-looking dude dug into his mouth, for literally, 5-6 minutes, while eating a chocolate croissant, and this kid strayed from his mom and sat near him. she did let the kid keep the half of the croissant that the dude gave to him while she was still at the counter. so gross, but i guess that was something nice. i'm serious, that's the best i can come up with.

and, i do remember these kids being allowed to run free....so free! alllll throughout my apartment building. in diapers, barefoot, alone. one was about one and a half, and the other was about two. dirty, with pacifiers. alone, for hours. with doors that easily open to the outside, marble staircases, that are STEEP, and doors that easily let people in. i'd leave to go run errands, and i'd see them on my way out and on my way back in. and this was regular. is this nice? i'm sorry, it's the best that i can do. if this sounds crazy, i won't even touch on all of the other things that go on. if i do, i'm going to have to make a part two lol.

hmm, another good thing about the 'childrens'. lol, tax refund! if you love seeing an infinite sea of brand new cars, like ford focuses, challengers, 300m's, magnums, hyundai's and fords, then this IS the place for you. and sometimes, you'll see a bently in the middle of a trashy parking lot outside of a barber shop. i'm not kidding. lol.

and when you get here, know the the kind of nonsense that you're going to be dealing with is a little bit more special and a little bit more out of the ordinary. because.......georgia has the third highest drop-out rate in the nation. so, on top of self-inflicted madness, mixed in there is a place that a lot of people with little education, and usually bad education. and formal education isn't necessary, but it helps. it helps someone to learn how to think in a lot of new ways, ask questions, inspire research and thought, it also helps people interact with a variety of people, it enriches their minds, it helps the mind expand. but here in atlanta, you're going to get a whole lot of very segregated, one-dimensional people who a constantly whining about their situation. and a lot who are really, really into things that are totally out of their income levels. super-expensive clothes and cars and phones. i heard a girl 'joning' her co-worker at waffle house about not having the newest iphone. and you know, i went there a few times, and i heard this same conversation (from her, directed to someone else) twice. and once, during the same conversation of her talking about covering her tattoos on her neck and hands with makeup in order to make it into the military. i'm not kidding, and if anything i'm kind of watering it down because it was WAY more ridiculous than i'm able to put into words accurately. and, you'll also hear, ooooover and over that college is waaaay to expensive. lol. smh.

i'm seeing that i am going to have to make a part two. i haven't even gotten to the meat. all of this was just a warm-up. i still need to cover lots and lots of territory, like super insecure, over-confident slutty women and the most fuck-hungry dudes i've ever seen in my entire life. and how break-ins are the name of the game, and the wannabe hard dudes that think that they know what tough is. and how thick the cologne is on the guy who just sat in front of me. lol. thick cologne is a fashion-statement here. you have to make sure that they can smell you before they see you lol.

i'll see you in part II.

fukashima

2014-06-06T14:06:00.000-04:00

i'm not going to get into the deets, because there is a LOT to know.....a whole whole lot. but i'm trying to get more people to do some personal research about what's happening over there. just find out, and see how it affects you, and if you're in north america, see how it's affecting you over here. and if you think it's not, that's why i'm urging you to do some research. it's annoying when people assume nothing's happening, or nothing's wrong. if this is you, then let this subject, fukashima, be the starting point of your continued education. if you start on this and extend out, your world will be enriched. you'll be healthier. if you have little kids, you'll be helping your health as well as theirs. if you live in asia, you'll be hearing things your government and news entities won't ever be telling you. if you're not in asia, you'll be hearing the same things. if you're in the US, know that hillary signed a deal with JP promising them that we (the US) will be continuing to purchase their seafood. know what fukashima is in comparison to chernobyl. and know, that there is a comparison. if you think that there is no comparison, just know that you're wrong. and if you need to know just what chernobyl and radioactive fallout is, let that be your minor this this major (fukashima) understand the food chains in the water and how these things get compounded. find out what a half-life is, and find out what happens to radioactive fallout when combined with water, dirt or dust. find out what's happening now with all four of the reactors.

find multiple sources, figure out who's full of themselves, add everything up and use your mind to form an educated guess. and keep up with it, because it's ongoing. even if 4 never goes, it's already ongoing.

either be evil, or give a damn

2014-05-09T17:56:00.000-04:00

i watch a lot of documentaries, and i do a lot of reading about world news and current events, from a lot of alternative sources. anyone who knows a little bit about these things knows that things are really difficult to bear, everywhere. really, really difficult...

and, things in my own city are, as you know....very, very challenging. i feel like the people here are born naturally with some of the lowest group-iq's that i've ever experienced. the things i see here are embarrassing to humankind. and then when i watch a documentary or read something ridiculous, i become ignited. i get doubly frustrated and i want to start nuking.

but i know, that's not the kind of person that i'd prefer to be. i have to pretty much choose to go one way or the other. either i have to try at all times to be my coolest, or i can be just angry. pissed about everything stupid that a lot of people are, and become that type of person. i really don't think there's a whole lot of room for grey. i've tried that, and it doesn't work. because if i'm going to be pissed, i'm going to be pissed at everyone and every thing. and if i'm going to hate, i'm going to hate everyone. and that last part has forced me to put my own foot into my mouth way too many times.

add-on....
i've brought my gaming life into my digital-life, i'm @miniscatt on twitter, in addition to being @jtwilliams1920

and, my other blog here is, http://therenegadefilmcircuit.blogspot.com/

here's my FB fan page, https://www.facebook.com/jtwilliams.org

and my personal site is, www.jtwilliams.org

i'm updating the last one after i leave here, so please check in in a little while, then i'll be done :o) (5/9/2014)

thanks! i hope i'll see you around

life=work & life=sacrifice

2014-03-10T23:59:00.002-04:00

i'm turning 34 this year. at the very end of 2013, i had our second son, and at the very beginning of 2014, our first son turned 2. i've been married a little over 2 years.

i'm still going through an identity crisis from it all. i went from being totally carefree, and pretty lazy, and pretty financially well-off to 1000% committed and financially....ok. not bad at all, but i still get pretty pissed. we don't use a babysitter at all, and we've never used daycare. i'm with the boys pretty much all day every day, and really, it's the most exhausting job i've ever had. and i really, really love the little guys.

but what i've learned, is that all of life is a sacrifice. every inch and ounce of it. if you drive, you're burning gas and polluting the environment. if you decide to game it, that's time away doing something else that may be more in efforts towards something that's more financially lucrative. unless you're a pro-gamer, which i'm thoroughly not.

if you put all of your time into your work, you sacrifice your relationships with people and your relationship with the earth. if you have kids, you sacrifice your life. it's worth it, but you have to sometimes concentrate on the fact that it's worth it. what i mean, is when you're at home taking care of kids, you're not looking or feeling very sexy. my hair is literally waist-length. you think i'm wearing it down taking care of these little guys? you think i'm wearing any jewelry? lol, hell no.

am i very fashionable at home, no. i'm cooking and cleaning all day. literally. i'm up 2-4 times just between 12am and 7am. and usually, i'm up at 5am bc of one, and by sunrise the other is up. my nails are horrible, and my skin is destroyed, temporarily by eczema all over both of my hands.

this is all a very far cry from kicking it with my friends, spending hours at a coffee shop, or doing anything like those things...

i'm fat, and full of stretch-marks. that's the trade-off from being preggo 2 times within three years. i still feel the crazy area in my spine from where the epidural was given. i'm still traumatized from the actual day i gave birth. it'll wear off though, it did with mikey after about a year.

what i'm saying is, be prepared to give some things up when you want other things to happen. i gave up pizza, chocolate, chips, eating late at night, almond lattes and a ton of other stuff....because, i'm trading my fatness in. and i'm seeing that i haven't sacrificed enough. i get it. i miss my partying lifestyle, but.....mikey and little billy-bean sure are cute. lol. how can i expect the world to be any other way, if it's the foundation of our history? God sacrificed Jesus for us. and i can see it reflected in everything i watch and see. sometimes i have to bite my tongue though. but i do get it.

i had (another) baby, but no more babyfeeding

2014-02-22T00:13:00.001-05:00

it's true! we had another bambino....so i took a few months off.

but i continued to think and research things since then. and it's just been more that it ever has been, and my perception about the world is becoming more and more jaded and muted.

i hold onto the good things and people even tighter now. most i can't have (what i would consider) a decent conversation with. i told a person close to me about the 'pollution' on the US's west coast recently, maybe about two days ago. and their reaction was like i told them nothing, or at least something minor....like, oh, it's going to be cloudy tomorrow.

having two kids and a ton of other stress, i've stopped caring about helping people a little bit. i've noticed that you have to stuff shit into the mouths of some in order to get them to even start to think about it for themselves, and for them to even begin to understand. i'm really not into putting that effort in anymore, at least not now. i'm too exhausted, and i'm just not interested. and i see these things now, as a modern-times version of the survival of the fittest. the world and your environment will kill you if you don't pay attention and educate yourselves. that's just common, but not so common, knowledge. and the ones who don't get at least that are going to (most likely) the first ones to go.

Saturated in Problems

2014-01-12T09:04:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure if it was God's original intention, as some sort of test or interesting addition to it all, it whether it's the work of Satan, or if it's neither and just an illustration of human nature. I think it's human nature.

But everywhere are problems. Insane amounts of pollution and baby girls being given up in China, Africa as a whole is just in pandemic, Europe started it all by fucking with everyone, Fukashima is turning into a gimmick like everything else, India can suck a dick lately, and it's become an extreme embarrassment to be American. I forgot the Middle East. Fuck it, self explanatory for that one. And to branch it to the States, the Nation of Islam and the NAACP need to find an isolated island far away, like in the Bermuda Triangle.

I respect though, the Bermuda Triangle. No one can really tackle the ocean, Jacques Cousteau made it cool looking for a while, but no human on earth or the history of the earth can come close to that five-mile pit that the Bermuda Triangle has going on. Respect. And the wrath of the weather, go play in there and try to be butch about it.

If you want to say FUCK IT more effectively in your life, while you're here, taking notes from the way that the BT operates is almost necessary.

See, everyone is annoying. All of those places mentioned earlier are all exceptionally general. I'm sure there are lots of cool people in each of them. But I never even mentioned the micro of it all. Those idiots you have to see, almost all day, every day of your life. I know here in Atlanta I am absolutely drowning in them. And the countless people who are always in your face, wanting to talk, ask dumb-ass questions, and be stagnant, non-contributors to society....

Tbc

my ego is out of control.

2013-10-21T17:20:00.000-04:00

i'm assuming that what needs to be put back into control is my ego. either that, or i'm needing a gimmie for having some really, really intense pregnancy hormones that are way out of control. or maybe my surroundings are just getting to me and my mind is weak. i do think that my mind is weak.

the conversations that i overhear around me are hardly ever ones that i'd ever think were intelligent. usually, they sound incredibly stupid and silly, and generic. people talking about how smart they are, their ideas about the world, or whatever. or, like the ones i usually hear in coffee shops, about how much money that they're going to make. some elaborate scheme, some great idea, but most of the time these ideas just seem like expressions of ego. they talk about concepts and things that they're going to do. dressed like overdone trendy people that had some super-excited or overpaid wardrobe head put their hands on them...and their hair.

and, i think these conversations sound stupid. and i frequently get the impression that they're talking as so to be heard. and i'm tired of fat people. and i'm super tired of fat people in motorized wheelchairs.

i'm tired of over-confidence coming from a 30" weave. and caterpillar eyelashes. i'm tired from wearing heels to Target. and i'm tired of you not even being able to walk in them. and if you can walk in them, i'm tired from the overconfidence that you get from them.

and there's more. but it's not those things that matter, at all! none of it matters, it's my ego that's messing things up, and making these things matter. my judgement about all the people and things around me has reached an all-time high. and i haven't done anything special, as far as projects or work is concerned. and i'm still fat from my first kiddo, while i'm preggo with #2. i have no room to be anything! but my mind is getting the best of me.

my concentration needs to be focused on getting my ego tempered out. i think about thinking about nothing. not paying any attention to the obese people who call themselves curvy or thick. not caring about the ones who can barely speak english properly. i'm not even caring about that bitch who treats me like shit because of her insecurity from years and years before we even crossed paths.

so. to concentrate on my nothingness, and to ignore the many retarded somethings that are all around me. and just for thinking, i overheard a stupid conversation. the girl told the guy not to say retarded. because she took a vow never to say it, because it was hurtful. but, retarded is a word. and it's a word that's not only intended to describe someone's mental condition. i looked it up. it's actually a great descriptive for many, many things and situations other than a mental handicap.

sucking yourself

2013-10-09T16:25:00.001-04:00

i've had, i think, with becoming consumed with the things in my environment, the regular things, that i'm not happy about. that i'd rather have disappear forever. and 100% of what i'm talking about are people!

namely, the hood-people of atlanta. it's getting to me, at least it's getting to me way more than i would want it to. everywhere i go, there's some girl with a 30ft weave with an attitude. and caterpillar fakie-lashes too. i go to target by my house, and i get the stink-eye for trying to get help from a group of them because i'm breaking their conversation up. same day....i'm at waffle house...the whole crew is hood, and the customers aren't, except for two of their friends sitting at the counter. the whole crew is cussing, talking about sex, making jokes about each other about not having the newest phone, being SUPER LOUD (no exaggeration, seriously), and rude. only one girl was nice to me. i asked for a spoon, one girl asked the other, the one who was asked rolled her eyes, and took her dripping-wet hands, grabbed a spoon and handed it, with dirty, soapy water to the other one. i've seen never-ending craziness here in my city, and i'm sure that mine isn't the only one. hood is becoming way too acceptable, and i'm over it.

but, it's not disappearing right now. or tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever, and for at least a while, until i leave at least, i have to put up with it. but it's one of the things, in life, that bothers me the absolute most. i don't think butchered, bad english-speakers should be hired, especially when english is your native language. i don't think that totally unprofessional behavior should be ok, at all. and especially not the norm.

but what do i do? my mom and my sister tell me just to ignore it. am i too weak-minded to ignore these things? i mean, just today, i saw a hoodrat woman, dragging her 2.5 year old daughter out of the store, yelling at her in hood'lish telling her to 'drank yer drank' and yelling at her to 'get in the car' while the other lady, was feeding some totally artificially-colored whatever to the other little girl. i get in line to go to the atm, and two hoodbitches cut me off in line and just ignore me in a hood way. i'm just over these people existing.

everybody is a weirdo

2013-10-09T16:19:00.000-04:00

everyday is a weirdo day here in atlanta. when i go home, there are multiple people sitting on the porch. they get there in the morning, and they're there into the night. and most of the time, they just stare at you, and it's awkward. weirdo moment: you can't mind your own business. they can't. they just have no filter to stare, all together, no matter how stupid it looks.

it's made me think, a lot of times, about how a few simple things mastered, and basic society could be raised to an all-time level. no. not in some places though. is it hopeless? it is up to someone else to solve? i can't understand it. some say i can't understand because i've had too broad of a scope in my life. that these people have never been exposed to anything besides to the things that they know. and every person that they know is exactly like them.

but, i see these people with smartphones and i have a feeling that they have internet, and i know that there's a library, with books and internet, within walking distance of our house, and probably lots of other houses, but still no one knows anything? i could never understand these things. i really think it's a distinct choice.

but if they made the choice to be just a little bit better, things would be a lot better off for them. if your neighborhood is desolate, and everyone around you is desolate too, and things are just bad in general, why haven't more people made the observation that, 'hey, this isn't working...i've gotta try something different' i mean, wouldn't anything be better? and isn't it pretty obvious that court costs are expensive, and so are kids....and being in jail sucks, so...why aren't more people saying, 'i'm going to do at least a little bit to avoid these things'.

and then there are the obese. oh, my parents were big, we're just big boned. you know that's a myth, right? what were your parents eating? unless they were raw vegans, who still obese, there's not much in that. but, i've never seen that. most of these people sit all day, eat the worst food, have diabetes (which they also claim is hereditary)and don't exercise. at all. ever. no, they get super fat, and then put themselves into a motorized wheelchair. can you even imagine how many super-fat people in atlanta i see per day that are in these wheelchairs? i've never seen more in any other place in my life. and you'll see them smoking, eating crap and claiming it's their lot in life. i was in u-haul the other day and the woman pitched a huge fit, she was fat, and her fit was because the elevator was broken. then she sat in a wheelchair area saying, 'i'm sitting here, i'm handicapped....i'm handicapped' and when she sat she just spreeeeeeeeeeead so far out. and she was a bitch.

basic life operations. mind your own business. stop 'jonin' that shit is way played out. stop destroying your own environment, stop claiming its your race that's the thing that's holding you back, espcially when no one can understand your speech, you can't spell and you can't even talk to people properly (on a basic level). understand, that education isn't about a job, it's about your mind. stop buying $600 phones every 6 months when you make $7/hr, and are on food stamps and other govt programs. and you don't do anything besides listen to modern mind-slave music. stop being so FUCKING LOUD everywhere you go. and if you can't help yourself, and that's just how you are, then stay in your own hood, shoot. stay in your own place, and be as loud as you want. but stop polluting environments that were just fine before you discovered it. i don't want to hear your shitty music, i don't want to hear how rich you're going to be, i don't want to hear about your coolness. just shut the fuck up and be cool.

Hood Life

2013-07-28T18:08:00.001-04:00

lately, i've been taken to a relatively foreign part of youtube. i think it started with skin bleaching in jamaica. and then that went into videos about black women not being attractive and being the ones who are the most single, and then that went into black hair and so for a week i've been adding these things into my daily rotation of regular youtube videos.

and you know, i live in atlanta. and i don't like living here. half of the reason is because of the weather. but the other half are some of the people. the hood people. i try to ignore, but i'm very affected by my surroundings. i'm very motivated by them when they're good. i'm very inspired. but here, i spend a lot of time noticing and involuntarialy analyzing. i'd really prefer not to.

i notice things about the hood community here. and for the most part, most hood people are black people, and all black people get categorized when it comes to categorizing, but it's not how all black people are. now, a lot of black people, especially here in the south, sometimes share very similar opinions. it tends to be the type of black person who only hangs around black people. only listens to the black radio stations, and only watches all-black casted tv shows and movies. they consider some things just to be black. like eating watermelon, grilling, and not swimming or camping. these people to me get on my nerves. because they tend to be very, very shallow and small-minded. i like watermelon, korean people love watermelon. shoot, everyone i know loves watermelon. anyways, i went off-track.

sometimes these mind frames are racist themselves. sometimes against others, and sometimes against themselves. like when i first got to the south. no one in my first middle school (we were looking for a house, so we were temporarialy in a different neighborhood in an apartment) no one would be my friend. they ALL said that i thought i was cute because i looked like a white girl (and i'm not mixed with white), had hair like a white girl and *spoke* like a white girl. i still overhear these things now. speaking properly is identified as being white. having money, is identified as being white. that's not progressive thinking at all. it's self-degrading and regressive.

i've spoken to many, many of my black friends and co-workers about these things. they're black, but not at all hood. they can't believe how some people in atlanta ever got hired. another friend, was the manager at a place, and someone else hired a girl. she came to work with her hair wrapped, kept it like that all day, and when she was getting ready to leave to go to wherever she was going, she then took an hour after work before she left to do her hair. here in atlanta, i see so many SO MANY black shower caps. and rollers in the streets, and pajamas in public. girls have the same walk. very straight back, tits out, ass out. i'm telling you, so many hood girls have the same exact walk. it's very identifiable when you see it.

and i see people having iphones and samsung galaxies, these are $400-$650 phones. 40 inch weaves, nails, etcetcetc...but i often hear people saying that college is too expensive. and food is expensive. i go to the grocery store, and when i see certain people's carts, it's full of instant food, and the most generic food. stuff that's so so so full of chemicals and terrible, GMO and artifical ingredients. i went to the hospital, and the majority, the vast majority of people i saw were severely obese black people. i hear women who are 300 & 400 pounds talk about they're curvy. i see families, with very young kids, all severely obese. and they say it's genetic. they say diabetes is genetic. i see a lot of people copying what they see on tv, and what they hear, but very few doing much to educate themselves about hardly anything.

i even had a friend, a college-educated, bright friend tell me that black people shouldn't be expected to speak proper english because speaking that was is conforming to society. i have other associate friends who do nothing but write and post and talk all day about 'black life'. making deals about things that don't make sense. but i've noticed with people with this mindframe, most are extremely difficult to talk about these things with because many only have one, extremely narrow perspective, the idea that they and people like them are the only right ones, and anything that's said about them that's adverse is racist. and if you are black with these opinions that counter theirs, then you're a sellout. an uncle tom. no matter how backwards and silly, and isolated they sound.

and then i see people not progressing, but i hear a LOT of conversations about it being because they're black. i heard the loudest, crudest woman on the train, could barely speak english, complaining about a wage. then she mentioned to the guy that she was with that she couldn't get a loan because she was black. i was thinking, no, it's because you're a potential liability.

i see many things being brought up publicly about black people, because when a large group has a problem, it gets news coverage. just like the youtube videos about hair, the zimmerman trial. the zimmerman trial was a backfire. it became a black thing, when it was about the fla laws. i hear things about people making a big deal about natural hair, but no one is caring besides the people involved, and these people tend to make it seem like everyone else is the one who's making a big deal about it.

certain groups of black people make big deals about silly things, and want to be heard because it's become the norm to have a sense of entitlement about these things. like the majority of people being in prison being black. well, i think they're there because they fucked up. some, many, many times. i think many are there because them and many of their community-mates have the same idea that black people aren't worthy of money, that education is silly and for white people. and that thug-life is the only life.

what about the fucked up music? you can't tell me that the vast majority isn't about fucking, money, hoes, strippers, stacks, chains and cars. you can't tell me that the majority of videos are full of naked girls acting like hoes. one of the things i first noticed about atlanta girls. many of the hood girls walk, talk, dance and dress just like hoes. and the guys here act like they have never, ever, ever seen a girl. i've never been harassed the way i have been here by men. i've never had girls want to fight me so often. i've never seen as many shitty attitudes. i've never lived or been to a place where (black) people are the way they are here. it happens other places, but this city is seen as a kind of 'black' mecca. and the reputation of being 'black' hollywood. this is not black hollywood. lol...not by far.

i'm over the excuse of racism. i think that some black people are the cause of most racism. i think they cause it for themselves. i'm not saying that it doesn't exist, but what i am saying is that it becomes such a deal in the communities and it spreads, like mental pollution, that it becomes reborn, over and over again.

and being diverse doesn't mean that you're less of anything. it means that you're still you, and learning from anything that's good. looking to make progress, looking to move forward as humankind. (some) black people are being left behind, not because they're black, but of the shackle that they put on themselves.

no room for (sour) cream

2013-07-19T18:40:00.001-04:00

lately, there's been a lot of energy on high-force mainly because of the conclusion and verdict of a certain high-profile court case. i'm not going to mention it, because it's gotten so old to hear it's name, i don't want to. but you can add up the date of this post with anything that was happening, and know that it's all been a bit annoying.

but besides that, it's really the discussions that people have been having and their need to be heard. i understand the need to be heard, i do i do i do....really i do. i obviously have the need to be heard, i have two blogs, a yt channel, a website, a fb page and a twitter account. but when i've been reading comments about the world (i'll just call it the world) and having conversations with some individuals, not only about the world but about things in general, and when people have been wanting to have conversations about the world with me, i've noticed that talking to some individuals is a waste of time. some are so stuck in their own feelings and mentalities, that getting an idea in or having a constructive conversation is pretty much impossible. i put 'pretty much' in there just for technicality's sake. like, for the sake of the possibility that one of these conversations could go somewhere.

but so far, none that i can remember have. and sometimes i go into things thinking, 'don't do it, don't start because you KNOW that this isn't going to go anywhere.' but i get involved in some way, usually because the other person keeps plucking like a chicken, away at away, until you get confused, or have hope that the convo could go well, or something like that, and then next thing you know, you're like 30 min in, pseudo-arguing with a wall. and then you say to yourself, 'crap! how did i get here??!'

you're not only frustrated about getting involved in that conversation at that time with that person. but you carry the past frustrations of the other conversations that were similar to it, and add more frustration to them because you're so mad at yourself for getting tangled up again.

so i say, be strong! and remember some people are stuck in a place of nonsense. don't try to help, don't try to convince. keep YOUR peace, because often times, these people are troublemakers, fire-starters, and just argumentative to begin with and they just want to bitch and be heard, even though they never seem to mentally grow or try to be open-minded and progressive.

these are the people who hold others back. back into their world of bickering, 'i'm right, your wrong', how you feel isn't relative, how i feel is the only way and 'blahblah-undeucated, i'm narrow-minded as hell' bullshit paradise. when you see these, just put up the imaginary sign of caution. wrap them in virtual caution tape, and surround them with made up orange cones and save your words for someone with sense.

Left Behind

2013-07-11T18:55:00.000-04:00

I was speaking to an acquaintance friend the other day, and we were talking about why certain people aren't getting ahead, groups of people, communities of people, not getting ahead. His opinion was that it was the environment of the people that were working against them, that it was society working against them. My opinion was, and is, that sometimes things are harder for certain people. But,it's often the choices of people, through generations, and throughout communities, that often holds them back.

The choices can be about who they hang around, and what they do with their time. Whether time is going towards being intelligent and gaining intelligence, or whether it's going to something that's totally detrimental to growth. But the choices also can be about segregating yourself to those who like you only, and anything else is categorized in some sort of way. Usually in a negative way. And then I see people, many, per day, complaining about their situations, calling it racial discrimination, or society being against them. But I see them not being educated, not working on educating themselves, spending incredible amounts of money on incredibly superficial things that they can hardly afford. I see this a lot here in Atlanta. I notice similar things happening in other regions of the world. Societies at constant war and civil unrest, but societies that are heavily segregated, and oppressive to certain members of that society.

The friend that I was talking to, said that (not me, lol, literally, he said this before he expanded) people often sit on the outside and make judgments about the conditions of people without contributing to their well-being, or helping them in some way. but i've seen the help that's offered, and i've seen what's done with help, not always, but a lot of the time. it usually collapses, or gets abused, or it isn't enough. my belief about this is that it's because the help needs to start in the mind(s) of the 'needy'. there has to be a decision to be more, and an effort to try. not an automatic, 'it's hard, because of who i am. and it's always going to be that way.' those people, who are so stubborn are going to be left behind. i've already seen it begin in my city, and i've noticed it in other areas of the world. and it creates strife and heavy friction around them because it's not fitting in with progression. it's not about needing to be the same, but just being progressive. if you're slow, and trying, it's good. if you're slow and saying it's everyone around you that's making you slow, and then giving no effort, it's not good. it gets annoying, and you start getting in the way.

--An Apology--

2013-05-20T17:37:00.000-04:00

i apologize in advance if i ever offend anyone. but, this is...tell the man to suck it. and that includes holding back and conventialism. i gotta get it out. and i think it's kind of interesting. my environment really influences me. Some places, like LA or Busan, that works really well. in places in Atlanta, I have to reconfigure my whole outlook because if i allowed my surroundings/city to do the exact same as somewhere like LA, i'd stay really pissed for a long time. LA=no eczema, no allergies, no hood-life, ocean, mountain, beautiful weather, progressive, interesting people. ATL=sweaty eczema, a sheet of pollen and scratching my face out 7/12 months of the year, land-locked crazy heat and humidity, backwards hood-life EVERYWHERE....a city of people who didn't get the memo that slavery was over.

And it's not just the black hood-people, although they get on most people's nerves. not just white or 'other' people, but they annoy us brown people! believe me. my black friends have HUGE problems with them. but, this lady that i was sitting next to, white lady. her friend comes into the coffee shop, comes over and starts talking to her about a murder that happened yesterday, nearby. she says, there was a kid shot dead in the street. the first question from the lady next to me was, 'black kid?' then she starts talking about gangs. lady, you haven't seen gangs until you've seen LA. but that's cool. ignorant stuff from everyone. and then there are the small pockets of cool people, i live for them in my social life.

PARTIAL: Horses Drinking

2013-05-20T17:27:00.003-04:00

i've been thinking a bit....about making horses drink. sometimes that horse holds on to not drinking, so tightly that it doesn't make sense to the person who has the truth...errrrrrr, the water (???)

Isolation from the LOW IQ

2013-05-20T17:26:00.001-04:00

If it seems like people are getting dumber, it's true.

But, it's not their fault. Subliminal messages, over-medication, toxic food, and intentionally-polluted water are the things that are causing the IQ's of the common public stumble to all-time lows. Street-sense has turned into thug-life, and that's not all that bright because the thugs are actually believing that the videos are real. Not thinking that the jet, the Bento, and the 'hoes' are all rented. And that ice is rented too...believe that. Believe that most artists are slaves and puppets for their labels.

You can't tell anyone about how bad chemical fertilizer is, or how pesticides and genetically modified foods are terrible for you. The lady on the supermarket commercial told me that by shopping there I was making the best decision for my family...and that's the truth! Little Jimmy has ADD, ADHD, etcetcetc....and fluoride is good for you! That's why 'they' keep putting it in the water. You tell these people the truth (and it is the truth) they roll their eyes or any other 'you're crazy' reaction and tell you that 'you're crazy' and maybe even that you believe in some conspiracy theory. That's what my son's (last) pediatrician said.

I've already written about the Doctors. Most are in the same circle as the rest, and may not even be aware of it because of their 'elite' conditioning.

So, about those IQ's. Don't expect society to grow at the rate at which we should be progressing, together, as a people. Certain pockets of people are where they need to be, and we help each other out, so we tend to be leaps and bounds beyond the majority who watch BET, MTV and VH1 and believe it all. They watch the news, and think that it's all there is. They watch for which celeb is having which baby and how great their lives are (must be?). Not thinking about the unions some of these people have with 'who'.

But, the antagonist of this all is....what to do when they keep getting in your way? VERY ANNOYING! It's hard to tolerate people for extended amounts of time. You collapse, and then you recover and get up and then it's the same, over and over. Just now in the cafe', another stuck-up, siddidy Atl bitch. Sorry. But she was. They keep getting in my way! On the way to work, MARTA (the subway system) is FULL of them. And their woman-hungry, nasty dudes. Always in the way. Staring, commenting. It gets annoying. Day after day. And the airport~ FULL of them. That's all who gets hired. Almost. At my job, not like that at all b/c of a massive amount of qualifications and training and standard. But most places, hood-life. All the way. Most have some of the worst attitudes I've ever seen. Some of my coworkers have brought it up before. The theory is that they (the airport) hire people from around the area that the airport is in because there's a better chance that they'll make it to work vs someone who lives further away.

My coworkers (all races now, believe that) have had the same experiences I do. I talk to a couple of how they handle it. One dude, righteous bro, said, that you have to relate to them and try to understand. My husband says the same thing. You have to try to understand where they're coming from, and that most have never seen anything else. But I'm tired of trying to relate. This issue was a HUGE reason that I moved from Atlanta. I think the whole hood-life culture is outdated and holding communities back. But that's another article. Maybe I've even already written it. I don't even remember.

But, so. How to isolate from this? An anti-climatic note I've written today, and I'm sorry. I guess I'm asking for help. For an opinion that'll help me, because trying to relate only helps me for a short period of time. Stuck up heads of 36-40" weave, rolling their eyes and popping their gum (literally, I have to move trains a LOT because of this) and talking SO LOUD always seems to get to me. I heard a girl yell the other day, "Naw, I ain't movin' trains...we fought TOO HARD to make it from the back." But didn't we fight too hard to have you mess it up with your friends who are making my ears ring? Someone help me out.

Can't Make a Horse Drink.

2013-01-01T20:49:00.001-05:00

I saw a post on a pregnancy-type site that I frequent, a signature that went along with someone's post. 'I have a black president with bronze boobies' The bronze boobies are about how long she's been breast feeding. She was black, I'm guessing full-black, not mixed with anything I suppose.

It's something that people do. Not very accurate, very slave-like. One drop rule stuff. Even though President Obama is at least one-half something totally not black. Same as what they do with Halle Berry, a full 50% not black. Bob Marley...50% black Jamaican, 50% white. Not to denounce, but just be accurate. And not to forget, and to not be insulting to this other full half of to-be-rightfully-claimed heritage.

I know about it. I've had people try to tell me what I am my whole life. Trying to force me into their little one-drop world. And I'm like, ' what about this whoooooole, huge part, this huge half of my family over here? Slave times are over right? I don't have to count as part of massah's property stat anymore,right?'

When I saw that woman's signature, I wanted to make a completely off-subject post, just on her innaccuracy.

Just like I always want to correct and re-educate people. Not to agree with me, but just to get things right. Basically right, fundamentally correct. But you can't force people out of ignorance.

Even in my ignorance, in recent and past times, I had to get myself out. Through my own research and my own observations. Even when truths were given, bluntly and blatently. I still had to make sure I believed, not just accepted.

I want the world to be accurate, but I've let go of trying to convince. I've re-dedicated my energy towards those who are, not those who accept being lost.

It's an Anal Douche Kind of World...

2012-12-06T00:36:00.001-05:00

Catchy title huh? Yeah, some would say, but I wasn't going for catchy...see,i needed something douchey, but not the kind of douche that was just for the ladies.something that could apply to everyone,...and, every thing.

See, because it is true, it is a (an anal douche) douchey kind of world. Kids are born innocently to supreme-loser parents, maybe even the same nut sack attack,smelly taintmeat upperlip sukka that tries to run me and my kid off the highway in his tinypenis truck.

Everyone is turning into a bitch. Well, not everyone, but in general, everyone is. Everyone is getting worse, more annoying...more douchey. And i'm getting more tired, so my fuse is short despite me trying to stay zen & ghandiji-like.

Yeah,i'm still trying to be that light, that change you wanna see, but i'm beginning to not give a f. I'm beginning to wanna start slappin db's (douche bags) in the nuts then smear the stink across their faces.

But we all still gotta be cool. despite our shady political system, despite the genocide of the natives. Through it all we have to save ourselves, and the other few who are left from anal douchedom.

they all can still suck it though.

maybe it's our environment...

2012-11-24T10:39:00.000-05:00

this past thanksgiving made me think a little more about a few things that were on my mind about atlanta and some of the destroyed communities within it. lately, i've been seeing the beauty in atlanta, and proud of the progress that i've been seeing. transgender hires in my local stores, the film industry making more projects here and the effect that i think it has on our city...people being very stylish too! very nice to see...

so, everyone knows how i feel about some of the black communities here in atlanta. i've spoken to a few people, mainly older, (60+) black people from the north. and they have seen the same thing, but since they feel that they have earned their keeps on this planet, they're not worried about being pc the way i am. sometimes it's hard to talk about a certain demographic without seeming racist. but in this case, it's definitely the truth.

it's not a black thing, it's a black thing, for a very certain few, here in atlanta. i heard a girl calling her 5 month old 'nigger' like a million times...i was saddened. maybe it's not such a big deal, but i see that it is. this is paired up with a million mates of thinking white people are the ones with money, or just jewish people are good with it. stuff like that. basically, this select people have the ongoing trait that thinks, 'that can never be me'. except for being a rapper...or the 'pretty' girl, which equals to like 15lbs of remy brazilian sewed into her head, with a TON of 'mac' makeup and clothes like destiny's child when b's mom was still making the clothes. and along with alllll that, being VERY bitchy to other women. i think it's some competition thing.

anyways. i was thinking. ok, slavery. i think about it any time i see black people in desolation here in the atl. but think about the lonnnnng time that black/brown/colored...basically non-white people were treated here in the deep south. segregation just happened 1 generation ago. there are people you'll meet still who's immediate family were slaves.

and slaves were treated like shit. don't wanna cuss, but this case calls for it. they were ragged and beaten, told they were good for nothing, and told they were ugly. while getting raped and abused by everyone around them, except for in a few small, select cases where the plantation owner was a 'good guy' and didn't beat (as badly?) as his neighbors.

things here in atlanta are still very segregated, to me. sometimes you see a black person who's not been removed from their environment very much in a totally new situation, and it's like a fish out of water. like they're in shock.

that could be me! i could TOTALLY see myself saying, 'F that! i'm NOT going over to ANYONE who doesn't look like me'...if i was treated like crap for generationsssssss, like a LONG time. like 200 years of crap.

and, it's not so far removed. remember that. i went to school in the DEEP south...at ga southern. in statesboro. the last place in georgia (or was it the south?) to segregate. i graduated in 2003. there are still TONS (believe me, TONS) of confederate flags....everywhere! shoot, right by my house NOW in atalanta, the main street that the GSP and another cop entity is on is CONFEDERATE AVE. hmm. not a coincidence. but back to my school. i was working, at autozone, and an olllld white man, like 80 came to the register i was checking people out at and he said to me, 'you're just the prettiest colored girl i've ever seen' i didn't even get offended.

in highschool...in a very suburbia part of the outskirts of atlanta, one of my teammates said something similar...'you're the prettiest black girl i've seen.' kinda over being called black when i'm not full black, that one drop shit needs to go...but whateves. i got it. i was still 'them'

i get it. i'll always be them. but them are also the native americans. my mothers father was part native american, and my fathers grandmother was 100%. which leads me into why i was thinking about things like this one. a big slap in the face. an intentional slap. native american heritage month is the same month that this 'let's celebrate genocide day' is on. and people still don't recognize that.

it all leads me to say eff it. i'm not here to educate people, but yet i still want to. go fig.

----awareness....

2012-11-04T15:16:00.001-05:00

awareness is power.

even if you don't believe in the conspiracy, or that anything is 'wrong', knowing what the truth is is what the point is.

i'm not going to get into what i believe in, at least not too deeply. i'll graze the surface, and if you want, you can start your own research...and i guarantee that it'll lead to a LOT, but whatever, it can always be all a lie. i don't think it is, but i'm not interested in convincing ANYONE. believe me ;o) i'm definitely not.

and...my point is--->everything that's aired, can all be a lie. it's very possible, and highly likely.

a tad of the TRUTH. the truth is: (this is just a PINPOINT amount of what's really going on out there...very basic knowledge indeed, believe me...lol)

A: the people who own the networks also own almost all of the media outlets...radio, newspapers and magazines.

B: most of the people who own these things are also VERY politically empowered.

C: 90% of the FDA are politicians

D: most of these politicians also own companies that are DIRECTLY involved or effected by the dealings in and around the FDA.

E: these people are NOT going to do things that benefit you if it can benefit them instead. don't take it personally, it's the result of CAPITALISM. which isn't entirely bad, but you have to not see these people as people, but as the MACHINE which makes the best BUSINESS decisions for ITSELF. machines do not have hearts.

....this is only one TRUTH stream of consciousness...it's not a conspiracy theory, it's real, researchable, verifiable truth.

and only a part of a HUGE, worldwide, international, multi-faceted network.

awareness is power. if you know what's happening, and even more about the details of it, you can enable yourself to make decisions that will protect you, keep you healthier, and more informed about what's really going on when a building gets run into with a plane or some 'war' is started.

you can think about what's really in the water. fluoride isn't good for you. they tell you, if you swallow what's more than in toothpaste, call the CDC. but there's that and more in 8oz of most municipal water. that's the truth. i know here in my city, there have been massive petitions against them adding SO MUCH fluoride in the water. ha, they haven't stopped. my pedi told is it was a good thing...i like him, but i don't agree with is fundamental POV. i had already looked up what research has proven about fluoride and what it hasn't.

but my doctor told me so! your doctor may have the purest intentions, or not. same with your pediatrician, but remember. they went to school for YEARS within the educational systems that are the ones that don't teach (all of) the truth. they're still teaching the the 'new settlers/pilgrims' were friends to the native americans. what about those blankets? oh, we forgot. whatever...get out of here. btw, do you really think that the edu that the presidents got, let's say, in primary/middle/highschool is the same one that you and i got?

but remember, your doctor was convinced of the things that they want you to believe. i'm not trying to get too conspiracy style right now, but just keep in mind that you and your doctor may have very different opinions, and what they tell you is not necessarily what you need to do. you can take their advice, but just remember what they're telling you may not be accurate, or what you feel in your heart. but it sure is difficult to have the confidence to go against a doctor. don't worry, it gets easier with time. and when you know the truth.

but! your doctor may be AWESOME! i'm not here to bash anyone, including doctors. they may have gone to a really progressive open-intelligence kind of school. or maybe they went directly through the system, but they may have with a really strong mind that knew what the deal was and with their own, very educated, opinion. VERY POSSIBLE! and definitely a keeper :o)

ps...refusal of awareness and just 'taking it' is ignorance. and usually is a direct contribution to the things that take us down as a society.

you're pissed that you have poor living conditions, no money, dirty water and cities? no jobs, poor schools for your kids? it's because you're accepting the reaming of your ass. and taking what the news and magazine covers (even people...lol) as the truth, and soaking in the distraction. i watch housewives and jersey shore, but i don't wake up wanting to be them or wondering what they're doing...or even believing that it's not scripted.

i've lived in LA, getting casted for 'reality' shows. how real is that? you wouldn't even believe what you'd see on an LA set.

pss: AND TO THE THINKERS. remember! the unaware often get in the way of the aware, lemmings, bad drivers, non-thinkers. part of getting ahead is not letting them get in your way, too much...lol

peace...

for real. peace.

atlanta, what's wrong?

2012-09-26T20:22:00.001-04:00

i've been thinking about this for a while, probably since i got back to atlanta, over a year ago.

i moved to atlanta in 2003, right after i graduated from college. i spent 2 years here, and was spent. then i moved to la, was there a little over 5 years (i love la) and then moved to busan, s.korea (korea is cool). after korea, i came back to atlanta to start again.

almost as soon as i got here, i remembered all of the reasons why i left, and wanted to leave so badly. atlanta is kind of small and slow-paced, but still pretty cool as a city, with enough to do to be considered decent. what's really effed about the atl are (some of) the people. not all, but there are quite a few people here that have the 'syndrome'.

the atlanta syndrome is affiliating wealth or speaking well, or even decently enough so someone can understand you, as being a 'white' thing. there's a lot of the perpetual poverty syndrome, and when you get out of that, you enter into the realm of needing dudes to buy you purses and an extremely hostile disposition towards other women. with the men, they're extremely disrespectful to women. now, please don't forget, this is not everyone, but a LOT of the dudes here feel entitled to stare at you, from head to toe, in your face, in you ass, wherever they want for as long as they want. i've never seen anything like this anywhere else i've ever been to or lived in my entire life.

i believe that atlanta is a very (poorly) oversexed city. the women, not everyone, but the armpit ones...you know what i'm talking about...wear what's the shortest, and the tightest, can be seen shaking their asses in the street thinking it's cute, and running intentionally into 8mo pregnant women walking through the mall when there is absolutely no one else around...take my word for that last one.

so the next 'tier' is that everyone is a CEO. a ceo/president/founder, everyone else is a model. the new thing in atlanta has been the new thing since the year i left, and that's the 'gourmet' pizza place, that's gourmet because they have some movie playing on the wall and have a full(ish) bar. then there are the same lame events...listening parties, release parties, grand re-grand, rerere-openings and bootleg fashion shows. because remember, everyone here...EVERYONE is a model.

i'm not full of hate. i'm full of disappointment. when i was here, the club scene was kinda ok, usher and outkast were making music, the studios were going strong....and the full-bar having pizza kitchen was actually a new(ish) idea. that was 10 years ago.

see, i just don't think (some) people should be so proud of a place that's so not. and no...this is NOT black hollywood. atl housewives and love and hip hop doesn't make you anywhere close to anything besides a cheap (monetarily and otherwise) place to film.

but i don't really care about the princess attitudes, and my weave is fresh attitude. i don't care about the 14 year old trying to fight me from her car when i was just taking my dog for a run by the park. i don't care. i do get pissed about the dudes. i was followed almost an entire block, pregnant by a dude hassling me for a date. 7 months pregnant.

my husband's sister...when she was pregnant...a dude in ross asking her to 'chill' and she says, can't you see that i'm pregnant? and he said, well, that just means that you can't get pregnant again. i think all people do (not all all, but a lot of the all) down here is eff.

i'd be able to get over it all if it weren't so HOT and HUMID. and had traffic EVERYWHERE.

but on the good side, the underground scene here is good. you just have to dig....and digggggggg

more of the same. why?

2012-06-22T23:15:00.001-04:00

i've been subjected, or maybe i'm just noticing, some things around me. mostly that of the actions of the people in my environment, in my (current) city. sorry, but i'd never ever call atlanta mine, i'd be too embarrassed. the DIRTKEEPERS of this city get to me. who are the dirtkeepers? well, a dirt keeper is anyone who holds on to old trash and old crap. racist hillbilly's who are mad that there's a 'nigger' in office. idiot's who think that only 'white people' are meant to have money or get rich, or are some elite elite of people. or that all asians sound like 'chee chungchung' without even trying to attempt to listen to any of the languages. that kind of crap.

here in atlanta, the breed of dirtkeeper that's mostly around is the one that wears rollers or a shower cap out...EVERYWHERE, walks with a MAJOR switch, kinda constipated looking, but i guess some dude that wears his pants so low that he carries them with him everywhere he walk told her that she's sexy and that that walk was making him want to 'hit that'. no exaggeration. seriously. no belt, holding them where they button, still falling off as he walks with some sweaty nasty-pants draws exposed all prison-style. come one? that's a SIMPLE evolution. 'oh? dudes in pants advertise their buttholes by showing their underwear like this? man, i'm gonna STOP...immediately!' (unless that's what you're going for, that's cool) but no, the dirtkeeper says, no...it's a 'black/gangsta/????? style, dey don't understand, SHAWDY' so tacky.

but that pants thing is so old, who cares. stay like that. but hey, homegirls...why is it that it's always a dude that has to buy you something? why do you guys fight over that same dude that has like 6 kids to stay around you in your house not doing anything and just eating your food and borrowing your car. ever see 'baby boy'??? that's not fiction. *yes, i know baby boy seeeems like an LA thing. maybe...but those cats moved there from ATLANTA. believe me!*

and atlanta dudes, why do you guys make 'holla'ing' at women such a sport? man, you should see it, these dues will talk to ANYTHING. i've seen broke down girls pushing babies around in strollers getting screamed at from across gas station parking lots by a half homeless dude and her walking away happy about it.

and i've recently discovered the brute-force style of the atlien dude. see, he knows that you're in a hurry, oh yeah, he sees you cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeearly walking in the opposite direction. but the M.O. is this. FORCE. they'll yell at you something that you 'have' to reply back to, or they'll call you a bitch because you 'ignored' them. like it's not rude to just interrupt someone for the sake of the 'hunt'. but whatever. they'll yell (at your back) hey, hey, hey. hey miss, excuse me miss, how are you?? and (if you're dumb/nice) you turn (slightly) and say, 'i'm good, thanks.' and turn back around and continue on your way.

but then they'll (at your back, once more) yell at you again, 'ey, ey, can i talk to you for a minute?' if you're an idiot/polite, you turn around and nicely say, 'i'm sorry, but i'm in a hurry'. boom. that's enough, because just for you to turn around, that's when they start following you. trying to catch up. even when you say that you don't want to talk, they but in and say some crap like, 'i only want to talk to you for a minute' and before you know it, you have to take your mace out and tell them not to follow you. and have your knife on deck. real story, multiple times this has happened to me. ONLY IN ATLANTA.

either that happens, or you then have a new 'buddy' to stroll the sickeningly HOT MUGGY HUMID streets of atlanta. well, at least then you'll have a few less scallywags honking at and yelling at you from their cars right? that's a plus. sheesh.

i know that the ratio here is insane, like 20 to one in favor of the gents, but move to another city or SOMETHING! or at least get used to hanging around yourself. be cool with no deadbeat around. start valuing yourself. stop wearing the shorrrrrrrrrrrtest, tighest, no-style tackiest thing EVER just because it displays your 'phat ass'. or flat ass. whatever. basically, unless you're hookin...oh!!! never mind. i get it now!

and then there's the confrontational woman. ayeayeaye. what, you think i want HIM!? effing crap dude! what are you looking at me like that for?! i just was trying to go out for a run/get a water from the gas station/pay for my candy bar. the dirtkeeper woman is ALWAYS in competition with other women. when i was 8 mo pregnant, i went to lenox. which is a nice mall here, but then some hoodrats like to go to try to see and be seen and pick up men who might have some money...well anyways, we (my husband and i) went in the back way. totally clear area. 8 months pregnant. bonquifa and shante' walk straight towards me, with some LOUD HUGE weaves, one yellow, one pink....and pinky runs right into me. no one around for miles. i saw her coming, i could sense her style. so i just stopped so she'd have her choice of where to go. i was being ghandi'ish...but no. she runs RIGHT into my shoulder. i was like rrrr....we walk like 20ft away into the nail salon to get some pedi's. 2 bonkies sitting right there, getting some tacky 4in nails. the MEANEST mean mugs (from head to toe) yuckface all day. i try to smile. both roll their eyes at me. i'm telling you, these aren't isolated incidents. this is ALL DAY LONG for the female DIRTKEEPER.

i could go on forever about this place and these dirtkeepers. and no, this is not a BLACK thing. although, most of these people just happen to BE black. i want to help, but there's a strong resistance in most of the people who are a close part of these communities. and after a while, you just want to say eff it. wish you'd just disappear. you're keeping society back and making a lot of people (myself included) embarrassed that you're black. and we won't talk about how segregated atlanta is. you won't see these people with ANY body who isn't just like them. wasn't MLK from the A?! sheesh, there's a huge sector of his neighborhood dedicated to him here! and these cats are just voluntarily segregating themselves. talking about crazy white people, what?! i'm not joking. and if you're in there, and you do want to be different, you're going to catch hell. apparently, some people see education as a stupid thing. and putting 45" rims on a '81 caprice is the thing to do.

there are all kinds of cool people in the A. could be a really cool place. there's just a LOT of a certain type of dirtkeepers who just love to call this place home. *and you don't have to be born in or from atlanta to adopt a very ignorant disposition*

your problems (aren't) my problems

2012-01-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

i've been on a way higher alert ever since 12/11, when i first found out about the NDAA and SOPA bills. it was really the NDAA bill that i found out about (by accident) through a random post on a pregnancy and babies website. some of the replies were because they were thankful for it, but others thought of it as some sort of conspiracy theory and not to believe everything you read or saw on youtube.

don't believe everything you read or see or hear. but don't be so gullible that you believe everything that the media and government tells you. what about what they're not telling you? it's like the convenience of going into gamestop and being able to sell your 'old' i-everything, for games that the sellers got reamed on when they sold them, but then turning around and seeing that that same ipad could have easily sold on ebay for at least 3 times the price that you just turned it in for. and that's including all of the fees that ebay charges, including that new one. shipping fee? but ebay, you're not the one delivering my package, how come i'm paying you AND the usps? oh well, just pay it and don't ask any questions.

never ask questions, never realize that there's a whole other world behind the one that comes on right before and after TMZ. just think that that job you have is your security, even though your boss is totally reaming you because they know that you're too scared to stand up to them and tell them about how shady they are.

no. actually, i think you should be asking some questions, and realizing some other things. like the problems that the government says that are our problems actually aren't. sure, we're affected by them, but that british pound and that 16 billion euro that greece has to pay or else isn't from my doing. our debt here in the us being some crazy, astronomical figure isn't there because i put it there. it's probably there because of that whole enron thing that no one went to jail over. but if i get caught and found guilty of forgery, i could be going to jail way longer than someone who raped and killed a 5 year old.

that debt is also probably there because of a 650 billion bill that just got passed supporting a fight the war at home bill that no one except for 'them' agreed to. it's also probably there because of all the money that we ship off to other countries for them to help their own crazy economies and to help them fight wars that we continue to interfere in.

and all of that is cool. just don't make your problems my problems, because once you do a little research on the non-mainstream news sites that the government is now trying to ban, you really realize that these problems are really their problems. economy, and crisis and recession and all of those other terms are their terms, not mine. these terms weren't here when my ancestors (the sioux and cherokee) were maintaining a pretty successful and effective bartering system. ah, and i forgot to mention, this system is also peaceful.

instead, now we're begging (or demanding?) that this 'particular' middle-eastern country better not (pretty please?) shut down this certain straight because it's going to cut off millions of barrels of oil from us. all of these wars are for oil. so bush and the rest of his family can continue on their merry way. and really, that's ok too. just don't make your problems my problems.

if it were up to me (us), we'd be putting solar power into effect, like yesterday. but no. all we have now are these 20 years behind the times electric cars that still run off of gas but cost the same as a small lexus. and we continue to fight over oil. and exploit people's communities for it. watch out many remaining-to-be-named african countries. that little gold mine that your tribe/city is sitting on is the next target.

but in the meantime, before we get to the solutions of all of these problems, i'm just going to have to let you (big government) that i'm not buying into your scare tactics. i'm not worried about my credit score, so i can buy that house that you're going to try to foreclose on anyways. i'm not trying to get that loan so you can stick your thumb in my butt right before you (crummy bank) file bankruptcy. no, i'm not going for that new/used/leased car that you want me to buy. and no, i'm not selling an almost-new used car back to the grimy dealership so that you can give me a (rape) deal on a new car that's going to lose 20% of its value as soon as i turn the key in the ignition. no, especially not. because that 'deal' equals out to me getting about $8,000 towards one of your new cars, when i could have made $18,000 (easily) if i had just sold that car myself. no, i'm not falling for the marketing and that guy with the smooth voice, and the nice typography in your commercials full of that fine print that's going to get me effed later.

so, mr.the man. take everything that you want me to believe so that you can grow your everything and shove it. and when you're done shoving it, suck it. just don't try to bamboozle me into it. because if i choose to kick a jig now, i'm kicking it for me. not you.

SUCK IT.