Temple Red Lotus - Petals in Ink

These Fast Girls are Refreshingly Unrestrained & Unapologetic

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:00:00 +0000

While Fast Girls, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, does not have anything to do with sacred sexuality overtly, I found many of the stories to contain themes related to this topic. For instance, the very first story, “Temptation” by Kayla Perrin, is about a 37 year old divorcee who winds up rediscovering her passion through the erotic embrace of her 20 year old sexy gardener.

“I was wearing a simple blouse and skirt, but his eyes made me feel as sexy as if I were wearing skimpy lingerie. ‘You’re hot. The hottest woman on the block.’ ...My age didn’t matter to him.”

This simple exchange can be classed a “Qadishtu moment,” where one person helps another to regain a healthier self-perception of their body and their desirability.

The second story, “Waxing Eloquent” by Donna George Storey, is about a woman who teaches a college class on sex and the media, and she shares with her new lover some of the topics they discuss, such as the messages about sex that people get from television and other media:

“‘It’s hard to talk honestly about sex in our culture, in spite of a media saturated with erotic images. We discussed that paradox in class, too.’”

Since this is also something that I do through my education efforts associated with my sacred sexuality work, it was wonderful to see this broached in an erotic short story. But the passage from this story that I like the best is the one that acknowledges the sacred during an erotic encounter between the main character and her new lover. She’s just gotten a Brazilian wax to explore something new and different:

“The whole scene is strangely moving - my new body, as smooth as a statute of Venus, the man of my fantasies kneeling before me to worship my feminine charms.”

All of the stories in this collection are hot and celebrate women who revel in the power of their bodies and their sexual natures. One of my favorites is “Panther” by Suzanne V. Slate. In this story, the main character encounters an exquisite statue of a panther in an art museum and as she contemplates the detail of the piece, she falls into an incredibly erotic fantasy of watching the male panther stalk and then have wild sex with a female panther.

“I watch you stalk your quarry. You descend a slope and arrive at a watering hole. Most of the animals scatter in fright but she does not...She is on the other side of the watering hole, seemingly unaware of you. But she knows you are there, and she knows what you want. She could easily escape, but she does not want to. She is in heat. She turns her back on you. She stretches slowly, clawing and kneading the bark of a tree...She arches her back and raises her rump, flicking her tail so you will catch her scent. She preens, toying with you, taking her time. She knows what is coming. Even so, she is surprised by how quickly you pounce...”

This isn’t bestiality; she doesn’t want to do the panther. Rather, it’s more an identification with the wild, unrestrained sensuality associated with these powerful, sleek, beautiful creatures engaging in a most natural way. Often, we humans are so restrained, so repressed, so worried about how we look, how we sound, if we’re going to come, etc, that we feel unable to completely let go and indulge our own wild natures.

I encourage you to pick up this book at Amazon.com or your favorite bookstore and allow yourself to be inspired; explore and experiment with how it might be to be a fast girl...and if you just can’t bring yourself to do some of the crazy things these girls do, you can at least get a vicarious thrill. :)

Discrimination between sexual minorities

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Thu, 14 May 2009 13:10:00 +0000

Why is it, when you've got an oppressed class of people, some within that oppressed class feel free to oppress others within that same group? Some proponents in the "gay marriage" movement stridently declare that same-sex marriage should be allowed, because they're still upholding the standard of only two individuals being in relationship, unlike those swingers and polygamous types. Some within the non-monogamous community, who call themselves poly, disdain those who follow a swinging lifestyle, claiming a more righteous stance because they're more about love and relationships, while swingers are just in it for the sex. In sex work, the phone sex operator says, "Well, at least I don't take my clothes off or have actual sex with my clients;" the exotic dancer says, "Well, at least I don't have sex with anyone;" everyone else intimating that their particular chosen aspect is somehow better, more moral, whatever, than anyone else's.

Hello? Wake up! We're ALL being oppressed, and turning on each other just supports the mainstream idea that we don't belong. Similar to what happened to the Native Americans when the Europeans started taking over - if they could have banded strongly together, instead of fighting amongst themselves, there might have been a different outcome for them.

We need to honor EVERYONE's relationship and sexual choices, whatever they may be, provided they involve consenting adults! Why can't that be our ONLY criterion for judging the morality of loving or sexual interactions? In the Kink community, there's a saying, "Your kink is okay, but it's not my kink." BDSM'ers have largely become accepting of whatever fetishistic, kinky behavior others enjoy, but even here, there are those who are still frowned upon sometimes.

If you enjoy or can accept that anything beyond vanilla, monogamous, missionary-style sex and love is NOT immoral, wrong, sinful, disgusting, degrading, etc - then let's unite under a banner of Sexual Freedom for ALL!

Okay, stepping down now...anyone else? ;)

Lovingly,
Inara

"A Prostitute Compassionate Am I"

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:58:00 +0000

Wow, I'm so impressed with Radical Vixen's portrayal of a recent session she had with a client whose overwhelming need was compassion!

http://radicalvixen.com/blog/2008/08/18/sex-work-and-compassion-panty-tree/

Here's the comment I left for her:

Ah, you've captured the element of your work that hearkens back to the prostitute priestesses of ancient Sumeria, Babylon, and Canaan. The Goddess Ishtar/Inanna once said, "A prostitute compassionate am I." This post beautifully describes how you embody the Goddess for your clients (regardless of your or their beliefs in such). Thank you so much for sharing this with us and I thoroughly look forward to reading more in this series. I invite you to review my sites regarding the sacred prostitute ("Qadishtu") and sacred sexuality. Thanks again!

Inara
http://qadishtublog.blogspot.com

It's not so simple to be Qadishtu

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:17:00 +0000

Ancient “Temple Prostitutes”, called “Qadishti” in some Mediterranean cultures, are believed to have engaged in sex with the populace as an act of Worship of the Goddess, whose greatest gifts to Her people was pleasure and the power of reproduction. Today, many women and some men are called to follow this ancient “tradition” who intuitively offer their bodies up for the use of the Divine, to pass on the Goddess’ blessing and healing through Her gifts of pleasure and sexuality.

This is a tricky calling, in many ways. We live in a society today that is sexually-repressed and incredibly sex-negative. Many forms of sexuality are not only socially unacceptable, they may even be illegal. Further, there is a deeper understanding today of how deeply one’s psyche can be affected by one’s experiences, with more intense experiences affecting one more deeply. Sex is an incredibly intense experience and can have deep and long-lasting effects.

Since most Qadishti are NOT trained in counseling, it is smart for many who feel drawn to this path to be extremely careful about how they engage with others. Due to the legal issues and the psychological issues, there are some fine lines to walk. In the days of the original Qadishti, the culture fully accepted and embraced the concept that sex was sacred and inseparable from their worship. The absence of sexual repression most likely meant that most people did not have crippling psychological issues around their own sexuality. That’s not the case today. We live in a completely different environment, with different mores and norms, and almost no one escapes unscathed by the sex negativity that permeates our society.

Those who choose to work as Qadishti must understand that the people that come to them for help may often need more help than that Qadishti can offer. Simply having sex with people is not always all that’s needed. Sometimes it’s the exact opposite of what’s needed, and even has the potential to make things worse. It IS important to seek some sort of training or mentorship, to learn the ropes, to figure out how to set boundaries, to detect deeper psychological issues, to protect oneself, to recognize when a physical issue needs to be treated, etc.

I would love for this path to be as simple as “Have compassion and have sex” – but it’s not. Compassion is a bedrock requirement, sex is not. And there’s so much more to be aware of, in order to avoid making things worse.

Lovingly,
Inara

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Francesca on the Positive-Sacred Sexuality Spectrum

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:56:00 +0000

I wanted to share some thoughts posted by my dear friend, Francesca Gentille, on the recent topic regarding the difference between "sex-positivity" and "sacred sexuality". For more of her wisdom, please see her site. You might even consider setting up an appointment with her for personal coaching! :)

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Hi dear hearts,

Wanting to connect with you and share some heart, spirit, and thoughts. . .

Sex - Sex Positive - Sacred Sex

When I talk about it, I discuss it as a spectrum or continuum.

I have found and experienced that in our culture we are given negative or conflicted information about our aging, emotions, bodies, spirit, gender, and sexuality. Most of us begin our sexual journey Sex Conflicted, or Sex Negative (including body negative, emotions negative, and aging negative).

Then we go on a journey to heal.

I think of the healing spectrum in sexuality as going from:
Sex Negative - Sex Curious - Sex Positive - Sensual/Pleasure Positive - Combining Heart & Sex - Combining Spirit & Sex

If I was on a healing and deepening journey with my sexual relationship with me it might look like: Fucking Myself/Masturbating/Getting Off - Self Pleasuring - Self Loving - Self Revering

If I was on a healing and deepening journey in my sexual relationship with you it might look like: Fucking you - Exploring Pleasure with You - Exploring Sexual Intimacy with you - Adoring and Worshiping you with my Heart, Body & Soul

NOTE: And it is possible to have Sacred Fucking :-) The fucking I start the spectrum with is the disconnected, disassociated, separated from spirit, and emotions fucking. One might say that with Sacred Fucking we "come" full circle and then start all over again. Or perhaps Spiral is the more accurate concept.

When we human beings are on this journey of healing ourselves around sexuality, we educate ourselves, try new things, find groups of people to be in community with who enjoy sex. We become sex positive. When we are sex positive there is often an attitude that more sex, or a variety of ways of being sexual, new toys, new sensations, is better. Often sex is still about doing or being done to. We are still body negative, emotions negative, aging negative and spirit conflicted.

Perhaps, at some point, we learn about sensuality and that being a better lover is enhanced by expanding our sensual capacity. Then we might become pleasure positive. Learning massage. Experimenting with lotions and potions for the body. Music. Feathers. Fur. And dance.

Perhaps, then we realize that we would like more heart, more intimacy, more of a sense of being seen, and known and loved when we have sex. We might take classes in intimacy, or communication, or sacred sexuality.

Perhaps, then we feel something stirring that would like to go further. To melt into oneness. Into bliss with all that is while having sex. To engage in sexuality that is a blessing and healing. Then we might take more classes, and study, and experiment with bringing spirit, deity, divinity, allness into sexuality. We may also take classes on energy work.

What is often in the way for those of us wishing to stay in sex which is more body focused and less heart or spirit focused is our wounds and received negative messaging around emotions, and spirit.

I feel compassion for this. Many of us have had our capacity to feel deep emotions and to feel safe with Spirit literally beaten out of us. "Stop crying or I'll really give you something to cry about."

Also some people are energy blind. Or at least underdeveloped in their capacities to read, receive, give, and manipulate energy.

For the more mechanistic or tender around emotions, or energy blind, I don't focus on the word sacred. I talk about Quantum Physics. That thought is now believed by scientists to be the smallest unit of matter. I talk about consciousness; the electro-magnetic field within each person, and in every living thing, and across the planet. I talk about opportunities in reclaiming emotions, deepening energetic awareness, and expanded sensuality that lead to experiences of bliss, intimacy, and extended times of erotic peace and fullness.

Sacred Sexuality is a word. It is a place-holder for experiences that are hard to put into words.

I like thinking of deity, spirit, soul, and a Loving Eternal Consciousness. I don't think I'm right. I don't think it's true. I think I like the feeling of being "spiritual." Heck, who knows what REALLY happens after we die. I get to design a way of looking at life, love, death, sex, in ways that feel beautiful to me. Each person does. You do.

If someone is in pain around their life, and their loving, and their sexing, then I want to inspire, guide, support, and educate them to design a new way, to heal from the past, and to reclaim their right to feel, to love, to sex, to age with grace, and to connect with Allness & Eternal Consciousness, and life in ways that feel nourishing, peaceful, harmonious and rich to them. I'll dance with the words and seek the ones that make sense and create an opening for them.

It's not the words that matter - ultimately. It's the intent - the presence - the openness - the peace - the being peace that matter. Our being matters.

It is not for me to judge, it is for me to be the model of a world in which sexuality brings harmony, connection, and peace to our world.

Lovingly,
Francesca

M. Francesca Gentille - Diva of Divine Relationships
http://www.LifeDanceCenter.com
Sacred Sexuality & Tantra Sexpert - Media Personality - Public Speaker - Author
Radio Host "Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra" http://www.personallifemedia.com/podcasts/tantra-kama-sutra/tantra-kama-sutra-show.html
Co-Author & Associate Editor of the award winning anthology "The Marriage of Sex & Spirit" www.marriageofsexandspirit.com
To Join My Egroup: email SacredLiving-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Diversity within Unity

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 17:56:00 +0000

Diversity is a loaded word these days. Everything is pro-diversity, in order to honor and respect those from different cultural backgrounds, whether that be ethnic, religious, social, or whatnot. Diversity training is required in many companies, and students in counseling programs are receiving training in multicultural awareness. In the world of sacred sexuality and sex positivity, there's a wide range of diverse approaches, with each different school of thought clinging tenaciously to their own label and identity. But there is within diversity the potential for divisiveness, as well. And that's what we must guard against. Within all this sacred and positive rhetoric is often a cloaked sense of superiority, which can poison and sabotage our beliefs and our noble causes.

In addition to supporting diversity, I think it is equally as important to celebrate our unity. We all - all humans on the entire planet - are really more alike than we are different. But we cling to our differences, sometimes for positive reasons, and sometimes as ways to insulate and seemingly protect ourselves, our identity, our chosen way of life. But we are united in our survival needs. We are united in our relatively similar DNA structures and bodily processes. We all are born, live, love, die. In the world of sacred sexuality and sex positivity, we are mostly working toward similar ends - to liberate sex from the place of evil and negativity that it was shoved into by past generations. We seek to transform the hearts, minds and souls of the people around us - so that they can more fully accept and enjoy their sexuality, without having to put anyone else's sexual preferences and expressions down.

No matter what we call ourselves: Qadishtu, Dakini, Tantrika, Sex Therapist, Sex Blogger, Sex Activist, Sacred Intimate, etc - in addition to any other reason we pursue this path, this Calling, we are committed to a more positive/sacred view of sexuality. Let us not quibble about what we are called, or how we define ourselves. Celebrate our different approaches, while also clasping hands in a united front.

In love & unity,
Inara

Sex Positivity vs Sacred Sexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:23:00 +0000

Check out this brief blog post from Amber Rhea:

http://www.beingamberrhea.com/2008/07/29/what-sex-positivity-is-not/

A lot of times, the way I view sacred sexuality is very similar to the more secular conception of "sex-positivity". However, there is an extra quality to *sacred* sexuality not necessarily present in sex-positivity. How would you redefine sex positivity to include a sense of the sacred, without being overtly rooted in a religious/spiritual context? How can we make the idea of sacred sexuality more palatable to the mainstream, without losing the sacred element that distinguishes it from "mere" sex-positivity (no offense intended)? Is this even necessary? Can we describe sacred sexuality to someone from the secular mainstream by using the term sex-positivity and have it be an accurate description?

Lovingly,
Inara

NCSF Media Alert on "Swingtown"

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 04:24:00 +0000

I've been watching the CBS series, "Swingtown", and have been very pleasantly surprised at how good it is. And I don't just mean the acting and the plotlines (though those are certainly good). This primetime show is actually portraying responsible non-monogamy in a positive light, and is respectfully exploring the consequences and choices faced by people who consciously choose to explore alternative relationship possibilities. They explore real issues and treat all views with equal respect and sensitivity.

Unfortunately, the conservatives of our country have decided that they are unable to just switch the channel and watch something they'd prefer; rather they are staging a thorough campaign to try and get this program removed from the airwaves. They are again attempting to be moralistic police, telling the rest of us what we can and can't watch, simply because it offends THEIR sensibilities.

Please take a moment to review the information that the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom has compiled about how we can show our support for the show, in an attempt to counter the censorship efforts of the far right:

http://is.gd/15NO

Share this with anyone you know who may also support keeping this show on the air, anyone who feels strongly against moralistic censorship, anyone who supports educating the mainstream about the validity of responsible non-monogamy and free choice in relationship options.

Lovingly,
Inara

Want to Learn about Sacred Sexuality?

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:45:00 +0000

Want to Learn about Sacred Sexuality?

Join me for an inner adventure to learn about Sacred Sexuality through the Woolston-Steen Theological Seminary's online college experience!

Starting August 11, 2008
8:30 - 9:30 pm (from the comfort of your own home!)
Cost $80 for credit / $40 to audit (they offer college degrees!)

In just 8 short weeks, you will learn about the principles of sacred sexuality, you'll be invited to view your body as a temple, you'll learn breathing techniques for emotional regulation and for enhancing your sex-life, you'll be introduced to the concept of emotional intelligence, and you'll learn some communication styles and techniques to help improve all of your relationships.

This class will also lead you through a multi-week preparation for a ritual in which you will balance the masculine and feminine energies within you. Past participants have described this ritual as "moving" and "transformational". Are you ready to embrace your Self?

For a deep, introspective, life-affirming exploration into your Self and the role of Sacred Sexuality in your life, enroll today!

http://www.wiccanseminary.us/course/category.php?id=14

Inara de Luna, Qadishtu priestess and founder of the Temple of the Red Lotus, will be teaching Sacred Sexuality 101 and 102. She has been teaching classes and offering workshops on the topic for several years, but usually only at festivals or the occasional seminar. Now EVERYONE has access to her teachings, through this affordable online class! To learn more about Inara and her Temple, please visit her website:

http://www.TempleRedLotus.com

I look forward to seeing you in the online classroom or at a future event!

Lovingly,
Inara

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http://twitter.com/inaradeluna

Personal Love vs Universal Love

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:39:00 +0000

“Love is a many-splendored thing,” someone once said. In polyamory communities, there’s an oft-heard adage known as, “Love is infinite; time and energy are not.” Polyamorous people believe that they have the capacity to love and be in relationship with more than one person at one time. Not everyone is necessarily built this way, but no one can dispute that we all have multiple loves, of different varieties. We love our spouse. We love our parents, we love our kids, and we often love our friends. We are all maintaining multiple relationships at the same time, but with varying degrees of intimacy and different levels of time and energy commitments. The sexualoving component does not actually change that reality that much, except that we’ve been conditioned to believe that it should.

There is also another concept that most westerners don’t talk about or grok well or are even aware of sometimes. There’s a difference between personal love and universal love. I am able, especially while in the role of priestess, to tap into what I call the universal love. This is the source of all life, love and pleasure in the universe. Name it what you will, most religions have some sort of concept for this. I simply open myself up to it, dissolving my small, human, egocentric boundaries and allow myself to connect in to the web of all being. From here I can access the compassion to be able to accept someone in all their human faultiness and frailty while simultaneously honoring the glorious divine within them. Each person who comes before me as a supplicant, I love. In that moment, they receive all the love I have to give, totally and completely. When that moment is over, I may feel a lingering sense of that emotion, but it does not tie me to that person, and it doesn’t necessarily herald the beginning of a personal relationship with them.

I have even been known to “make love” to a whole crowd of people, while they watched me dance. I opened that energy channel wide and poured out all my love onto every single person I made eye contact with. In that instant of connection, I allowed myself to love that person completely. And just because it only lasted a second or two, and just because I then immediately moved on to someone else and established a loving connection with others, doesn’t invalidate that true moment of communion I shared with the first.

Each moment is precious and exists independently of every other moment. But of course, moments flow one into the other seamlessly, and we sometimes attach too much significance, expectation, obligation to each individual moment, which lessens its magic. Appreciate the moments of love and grace that touch your life, and you will be better able to appreciate your life as a whole, and the lives of those who touch yours.

www.TempleRedLotus.com

Unable to Say It

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:01:00 +0000

My beloved forwarded to me some links to the Oklahoma statutes pertaining to illegal sex acts, and several of them refer to anal sex, but they can't actually seem to bring themselves to use that terminology. Instead, it's referred to as a "detestable and abominable crime against nature" and every time the statutes refer to this act they use that entire phrase! Amazing!

OK Statute on "Forcible Sodomy"

I think it should be a law that no one can make laws regarding sex if they can't even use clear, accurate, non-judgmental terminology to refer to it. Imagine if we were making laws about drunk driving and couldn't even bring ourselves to use the word "alcohol".

Besides...if we're passing laws to curtail "crimes against nature", then I can think of quite a few examples of other crimes against nature that ought be addressed first - like pollution, hunting animals to extinction, clear-cutting, etc. Aren't these crimes against nature far more detestable and abominable than anything related to sexuality?

www.TempleRedLotus.com

Illegal to Share Sex Ed Materials w/ Minors

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:44:00 +0000

A new Oregon law makes it illegal in that state to share "sexually explicit materials" with minors, including sex education materials, or young adult fiction books that contain anything considered even remotely "sexually explicit". This is an outrage, as well as a chilling new development in the War Against Sex in this country. It is especially worrisome for those of us who believe in, support, and actually engage in comprehensive sex education for our teens.

And how ridiculous is it that we would go to these lengths to "protect" our children from sex? I know they say it's to protect them from predators, but come on...did no one voting for this law stop to consider the long-term effects of this sort of restriction? Basically, this law says that even parents can't share information with their own children, if it's considered "sexually explicit". My mother helped open the "Big Talk" about sex with my by handing me romance novels containing steamy scenes. I was a big reader and this was a way to share some info, and to start conversations about what was and wasn't real. If she did this in Oregon today, she could be sent to jail. What?!?!?!? Insane...

Check out the story here and feel free to share your comments:

http://www.sexual-freedom.net/sfn/node/1403

Lovingly,
Inara

Introducing Polyamory in an Academic Setting

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:09:00 +0000

Introducing Polyamory in an Academic Setting
by Inara de Luna (c) 2008

As some of you know, I'm pursuing a Master's degree from Capella University in Marital & Family Therapy. I had to make a decision early on regarding how out I wanted to be about my various fringe affiliations, but ultimately decided that since I want to be able to serve these populations, I wanted to be able to use and refer to them in my coursework when appropriate. The following is a recent essay I wrote for class, and the ensuing discussion between myself and two learners: one supportive, and one who had never heard the word, "polyamory."

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The American Counseling Association states in its ethical code that counselors are to engage in advocacy efforts at multiple levels in an effort to improve access to services and to improve the growth and development of their clients (A.6.a., 2005). Kiselica and Robinson (2001) explain that advocacy is intended to help increase their clients’ “sense of personal power and to foster sociopolitical changes that reflect greater responsiveness to the client’s personal needs” (p. 387). Advocacy is an important function and counselors are uniquely positioned to act as advocates, due to their direct clinical experience with clients who are the recipients and sometimes victims of injustices and imbalances in the greater society. Counselors can support their clients while also actively challenging the societal norms that may be impeding their clients’ wellbeing (Gladding, 2007).

Counselors have a responsibility to keep abreast of advocacy programs enacted by their professional associations, and to pay their dues to help support their professional associations so that those associations can continue their lobbying and other advocacy efforts. Because our clients are significantly impacted by community groups and organizations, it is the duty of the counselor to educate these groups and organizations about how they could better serve the people utilizing their services. In the past, counselors have presented to groups and organizations on the harmful effects of racism, and have advocated for understanding and support for lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth (Kiselica & Robinson, 2001). Some counselors have also started their own organizations to bring much needed services and changes to their communities that weren’t otherwise available, such as Parsons who founded Boston’s Vocational Bureau in 1908, to assist immigrant youth to find fulfilling work (Kiselica & Robinson, 2001).

Finally, counselors can work with political leaders to bring about much-needed social change, by writing letters and visiting with these persons, and through writing letters and articles for media, encouraging others to speak up (Gladding, 2007). Counselors have a responsibility to stay current on pending legislation that affects both their clients and the counseling profession, and to contribute their efforts to supporting or defeating bills, as appropriate. Research on troublesome social issues can also go a long way to improving those problems, both through public and political education about the reality of the issues and their effects on people.

Advocacy is exciting and inspiring and is a primary motivation for this learner to pursue this degree program. There are a number of misunderstood and underrepresented alternative relationship adherents who need advocacy in the social, political, and academic spheres. Those who practice polyamory, who are engaged in BDSM relationships, and those who practice paganism and other unconventional spiritual philosophies are not served well, if at all, by the current society, on any level, including the therapeutic profession. In order to assist these people to live fuller, healthier lives, a good deal of strong research and effective education needs to happen. This is what this learner is passionate about and motivated to change. As Kiselica and Robinson (2001) state,

Perhaps the most important step we all must take in advocacy work is to look deep within ourselves and try to discover what forms of human suffering really move us to the point that we want to get up and fight – each of us in our own unique way – for other human beings. (p. 395)

References:

American Counseling Association. (2005). Code of ethics. Codes of Ethics for the Helping Professions (3rd ed.). Belmont, CA: Thomson Brooks/Cole.

Gladding, S. T. (2007). Counseling: A comprehensive profession (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

Kiselica, M. S., & Robinson, M. (2001, Fall). Bringing advocacy counseling to life: The history, issues, and human dramas of social justice work in counseling. Journal of Counseling & Development, 79. 387-397.

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Hello,

Your post was explosive! The statement, which really inspired me, is the fact that there are a number of "alternative relationship adhrents who need advocacy". This brings to mind the increased exposure of polygamists and those individuals seeking to escape their communities and traditional lifestyles. Surely this population will indeed require some form of counseling services in order to adjust to a "new" society. In any event, persons with your passion and drive are just the type MHC's society needs.

Great post!

F

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Hi F!

Yes, the polygamists like Warren Jeffs and his family are an exception, in that they were so insulated from the outside world, and thus, wiill definitely need transition assistance.

However, sensationalized news stories about exaggeratedly unusual examples of "alternative relationship adherents" misleads people into thinking that everyone who believes in non-monogamy practices weird things like Jeffs, when that's simply not true. Part of my advocacy efforts is to help people understand that just because a family practices polyamory DOES NOT mean they believe in marrying 16 year old girls off to 50 year old men.

Thanks for the support and compliments! :)

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First off for the record this learner believes in being married to only one person at a time and prefers no divorce. She has a friend who married a man from Ghana that was raised in a polygamist society. His father has 2 wives (I think that is the correct number and not 3) and a number of children. He described the way life was there and it is interesting how it is handled but still not for me. Luckily for my friend he does not believe in practicing that.
A number of other countries practice polygamy and even polyandry (one wife more then one husband). In some countries where there is a shortage of one sex it seems to meet a need and thus allowing more people to marry.

K

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Hi K,

I respect your beliefs. Monogamy is a perfectly legitimate and fulfilling relationship style for some people. However, responsible non-monogamy can be an equally legitimate and fulfilling relationship style for others. Polyamory is the word that was coined to describe a responsible non-monogamous lifestyle to differentiate it from swinging and other forms of non-monogamy. Polyamory is more about the relationships, rather than the sex had in those relationships, and stresses openness, honesty, and communication between all involved.

Polyamory is also distinct from polygamy and polyandry because it doesn't limit the possibilities of loving relationship to the number of partners or their gender. It is also a relationship style that is not imposed on anyone - it involves a very conscious choice and relies on each individual's integrity to make it work.

There is a growing number of people practicing polyamory, including celebrities, and as more people begin to come out about this practice, we are likely to see them in our counseling offices. This is an area of diversity that hasn't gotten much attention yet, but it will.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for being open to my response. If anyone is interested in more information on polyamory, I have a list of websites and journal articles that I can share.

--
Having no knowledge of anyone personally practicing this, this learner went to the web. Regardless of the fact that most people do not like it for a source she went to Wikipedia for quick information. This is the site looked at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory. She only read part of it as it is very long. If there is a better sight out there please post it. She knows this is not for her but she would like to read up more on it.

Thank you.

K

--
Hi K,

Thanks for asking! The wiki site does give a decent explanation of polyamory. I would also recommend you explore the following sites:

http://sexuality.about.com/od/alternativerelationships/a/psychologypoly.htm

http://www.ejhs.org/volume5/polyoutline.html

http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/

If you have specific questions, I'd be happy to take this discussion off-list and answer any of your questions via private email.

--
Will check out the sites later, when there is a spare moment. Polyamory was not a term this learner had remembered hearing about before. If she has questions after reading the sites she will get in contact. She would only be reading this for knowledge and incase the topic ever came up someone; ex. with a client or friend, she would be knowledgeable of the lifestyle. She does not believe that is the way to go and she is defiantly not looking to convert—she is very happy with the practice of monogamy. She wants to say thank you for daring to bring up an idea that is controversial to many, herself included.

K

--
Hi K,

I would never presume to suggest that anyone should convert. I offer the information to help promote awareness and to dispel myths and negative misconceptions. Polyamory is certainly not for everyone, just as pistachio pudding is not for everyone. :) You have my utmost respect, however, for being willing to learn about a practice that is so controversial and may be at odds with your own personal beliefs and values.

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:00:00 +0000

Temple - Online Training Chats - Public Announcement & Invite

Hello everyone!

The Temple of the Red Lotus, an organization devoted to the practice and promotion of sacred sexuality and the Qadishtu path, will periodically offer live, on-line chats with prominent figures in the sacred sexuality and Qadishtu communities as guest speakers. This is an opportunity to get your questions answered, to expand your awareness, to be exposed to the many different forms and manifestations of this philosophy and path.

Our next scheduled chat is with Amanda & David Torrey of Terra Incognita in Chicago. Our discussion will cover how they began their Temple and how they work with Lilith, their patron Goddess. The following is some biographical information on the Torreys and their Temple:

Terra Incognita (TI) is a Temple of Sexual Magick founded in Chicago that has slowly evolved from a small gathering of friends hosted by Amanda and David Torrey almost ten years ago, to a larger collection of karmically interconnected people. TI has attempted to integrate spirituality with sexuality using an ancient Mesopotamian model that we have found very adaptable to a variety of religious and magickal beliefs. While the Temples of Sumer and Babylon have inspired our mindset, we also feel a connection to the European mariners who were brave enough to sail to the "unknown lands" they called Terra Incognita on their maps. Scary, shadow-filled places of Monsters and Magick near The Edge of the World.

We believe that breaking fear-generated barriers is an important part of personal growth. TI also feels the power of loving energy can heal most emotional wounds as well as unite those participating in the Process. In our perspective, symbolic acts can only bring symbolic rewards, so both diety and divine energy exchanges should be real.

To actively explore these ideas Terra Incognita is dedicated to the Qadishtu path of sexual healing. For us this includes BDSM, Paganism, patron/protege program, polyamory, Sex Magick, sexwork, surrogacy, Tantra and Taoist practices. TI has developed a very flexible neo-Pagan type of ritual to focus energetic group workings, which owes a great deal to Chaos Magick creativity. Our Qadishtu priesthood is Temple-based, in homage to historical precedents and includes educational outreach and various hands-on practices with seekers. We have also hosted assorted salons, workshops and book signings, as well as presented at festivals and conferences.

Starting in the fall of 2004, New Zealand filmmaker Lynda Brendish began filming an award- winning documentary about Terra Incognita called Uncharted Lands. It captured our shift from a larger group dynamic to one that is more family-based today. The current core of TI is now Amanda, David and poly/magickal partner Kristin. However, the Temple still honors and works with an extended Tribe of wonderful folks in the Sacred Sexuality community.

9:00pm - 10pm Eastern (7:30pm Central / 6:30pm Mountain / 5:30pm Pacific)
Wednesday, Aug 29, 2007

**RSVP by Monday, August 27 , 2007!!

During our discussions, we will introduce ourselves and then I will introduce our speaker and ask them to introduce the topic. I will then pose some specific questions for the speakers, to guide the discussion. The floor will also be open to the rest of the participants to ask questions, make comments, and share some insights from their own journey.

Fee
Public: $10 per discussion
Temple Basic Members: $5 per discussion (You qualify if you've signed up at the Temple of the Red Lotus' Forums)
Temple Qadishtu Trainees: $FREE

Temple of the Red Lotus basic members will receive advance notice and a discounted price. Current students in the Temple Red Lotus Qadishtu Training Program will be able to attend for free.

Fee payable via PayPal to qadishtu (at) templeredlotus (dot) com , and MUST be received by the RSVP date (see below). Indicate in the comments section that this fee is for the Aug. 29 chat with the Torreys and be sure to mention your Temple Forum screenname if you want the Member pricing.

**RSVP by Monday, August 27, 2007!!

Once your fee has been received and your Membership verified (if necessary), you will receive an email containing instructions on how to log in to the chat room.

If you would like more information about the Temple of the Red Lotus, please visit http://www.templeredlotus.com/.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

**RSVP by Monday, August 27, 2007!!

Upcoming Chats (details coming soon!)
Sept 19 - Gigi of Aphrodite's Temple - Part 2
Oct 3 - Oberon Zell
OCt 24 - Elsbeth & Freddy of TantraNova

*** If you are interested in being a guest speaker, please email me with details about your background and what aspect of sacred sexuality or the Qadishtu path you could speak on. :)

Lovingly,
Inara

Fire the Grid!

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:10:00 +0000

Fire the Grid!

Namaste all!

I have just finished watching this amazing series of videos on YouTube about the woman who started the Fire the Grid project. This down-to-earth regular woman who started on this path as a single mom on welfare suffering from depression has galvanized millions of people around the planet to dedicated an hour of their time to the goal of changing and/or saving the world. I strongly urge you to take some time to go through all 8 sections of her presentation, to review her website, and to consider collaborating with all the others who will be dedicating their time, attention and energy to this cause on July 17, 2007. Please let me know if you choose to participate. After watching this, I believe that I will be.

Part One - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqUAluDvuU4&mode=related&search=

Part Two - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVhVCsv56kg&mode=related&search=

Part Three - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsqOZUmaECY&mode=related&search=

Part Four - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzrPCGP60As&mode=related&search=

Part Five - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66zQg0v_gn4&mode=related&search=

Part Six - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_6ajmdt39A&mode=related&search=

Part Seven - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWtJncxNeLI&mode=related&search=

Part Eight - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2sR8DWTD3U&mode=related&search=

Fire the Grid website - http://www.firethegrid.org

Lovingly,
Inara

The Dark Side of Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 13:28:00 +0000

Inara de Luna (c) 2007
Temple of the Red Lotus

In the world of sacred sexuality, there is a lot of focus on how sex can lead to enlightenment, how it can bring you closer to the divine, how it can help you and your lover overcome difficulties, how it can be used in magic to help you attain your goals. It is described in light, bright, airy terms, which seem to ignore or dismiss the darker aspects of the sexual drive. We have all experienced, or known someone else who has experienced, sex as violence, sex as control, sex as manipulation, sex as self-medication, sex as addiction. There is desperate sex, immoral sex, irresponsible sex. There is mediocre sex, uncomfortable sex, painful sex. How can we possibly say that all sex is sacred when it also carries all these dark colors?

I also believe that all humans are sacred; that everyone is a representation of the divine. Does that include serial killers, rapists and terrorists? Yes, actually it does. Some of these people become these things because they experienced neglect and/or abuse at the hands of their caretakers and society. Although as adults they are responsible for their actions, I believe the rest of us bear some measure of responsibility, too, for allowing these kinds of abuses to take place. But more than that, each one of us represents an aspect of the divine, and not all of those aspects are rosy and cheerful. The darker, shadowy aspects have lessons to teach us as well. And it could even be argued that those darker lessons are necessary in order to be able to appreciate the lighter aspects. Light and dark are intertwined, as lovers. They are two sides of a whole. You can't really have one without the other. But to call the darkness bad or evil or wrong or "lower", etc, is to assign human judgment to something that simply is. We could just as easily choose to see the darkness as primal, instinctual, animalistic, and not bad at all.

Look at Kali, the Destroyer; Zeus, the rapist; Dionysus, the insane; Lilith, the baby-killer. Many of our Gods have darker sides to their natures as well. Does that make them any less divine? Do we simply dismiss those dark aspects that we find unpalatable? Do we explain them away as metaphor? What are the lessons we can learn from the dark Gods? What can we learn from the darker sides of our own natures?

We've been taught that what brings us pain must be inherently bad. But that's not true. We wouldn't grow or evolve or improve if we didn't have pain, if we didn't need to survive pain and learn its lessons. Look at Inanna, hung on a meathook in Ereshkigal's throne room for several days. Look at Sysiphus, forever pushing a boulder uphill. Look at Odin, sacrificing his right eye for the gift of knowledge, or hanging upside down from a tree, in order to attain wisdom and power. Each of these beings, which we call Gods, endured pain and sacrifice, in order to attain or learn something that in the end improved them at some level.

That which does not kill us, makes us stronger. That cliche is true, up to a point. But I believe it is only half of the truth. The rest of it is that what could make us stronger can only do so if we allow it to. We can choose to allow our pain and hardships to make us better people. If not, we are destined to repeat and relive those harsh experiences until we finally learn the lessons inherent within them. A piece of steel must be thrust repeatedly into the fire and must be beaten over and over before it becomes a sword, wrought through intensity into a thing of beauty and usefulness.

I do not believe in a God or Goddess who does not love us. I do not believe in a God or Goddess who exacts retribution on us, who cannot forgive us, who is harsh and demanding, judgmental and punishing. I rejected that form of divinity when I walked away from the Christian church. I do believe that we have free will, and that the Gods allow us to make our own choices. I believe that the Gods send us opportunities all the time; we choose whether to see them and grasp them. I believe that all of the experiences we endure, both positive and negative, are intended to help us hone ourselves, to grow and heal and improve ourselves, so that we can eventually become the best manifestation of the divine that we can possibly be, each in our own individual ways.

Yes, sex can be used cruelly; yes, love can be manipulated, neglected and abused. Yes, the darkness is there. But without it, would we be able to identify the light? Would we be able to appreciate the light? Sometimes enlightenment is not enough. Sometimes, we must proceed with endarkment as well, both in the realms of sexuality and in spirituality. It is our choice and our responsibility. Will you turn away from the Darkness, or will you embrace your Shadow, and be transformed?

www.TempleRedLotus.com

Sacred Warrior Harlots

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 14:00:00 +0000

Sacred Warrior Harlots
Inara de Luna, Temple of the Red Lotus (C) 2007

Sex is a very powerful force. Many who use sex in magic and ritual recommend that it NOT be used by those new to magic or the Craft, because of the amount of power generated by the sex act. For millenia, church officials and political authorities have made laws and moral guidelines intended to contain the power unleashed by sex.

Unfortunately, these laws and guidelines, written from fear and the desire for control, have had an opposite effect. Rather than suppressing the sex drive and its associated effects, these policies and practices of control, oppression and minimization have actually increased the problems. Rather than educating and training people about their sexuality, we have given them loaded guns with no instructions on how to shoot, or the ethical framework to decide who and when to shoot. People are ruled by "instinctive" drives, which they are taught to be ashamed of, and so they seek to satisfy these urges quietly, furtively, guiltily, and often non-responsibly.

I believe that sex and sexuality are inherently sacred. Sex and pleasure are gifts from the Gods and Goddesses. When we use these gifts in negative, malicious ways, when we engage in sex in exclusively self-serving ways, we devalue, desecrate and contaminate those gifts. In my mind, things like rape are not sex, they're violence. Rapists may use sex as a tool, but the intent and effect is violent.

Yes, this world is quite bereft of the joy, wonder, sweetness and sacredness of sex. Yes, we see a LOT of sex desecrated all around us, from the media and advertising, to the use of rape as a tool of terror in war, to the unhappy and neglected and abused people in relationships everywhere who don't know any better way to be.

And that is where the modern Qadishti or Sacred Whores or Temple Harlots come in. We are uniquely positioned to start changing the world, one embrace at a time. We, who understand the awesome power and sanctity of sexuality, have the responsibility to pass along that understanding to whoever else might be ready to listen. We, who are capable of channeling the Goddess and using her gifts of love and pleasure to heal, have a responsibility to heal the wounded souls, hearts and bodies of those sad, broken, hurting people who come before us. We, who feel overwhelming compassion and love for those who have been neglected and abused by the system and society, have a responsibility to share that compassion and love with others, in an attempt to overturn the thousands of years of suffering this world has endured.

It's not easy. It's a difficult path to follow, for many, many reasons. We will get discouraged. We will get frustrated. We may suffer misunderstandings and sabotage in our efforts. But we must be Warriors, as well as Lovers, resolutely standing by our beliefs that Love can indeed change, and maybe save, the world. We must invoke both sides of the Deities of Love and War. Learning to temper our need to stand resolute with our capacity for compassion is tricky, but it can be done. We can be passive resistors, conscious objectors, role models, activists. We can stand firm in our principles and patiently endure the coming years of darkness and oppression, while our Light grows and our influence finally begins to shift things to a healthier, more sacred place, where sex, pleasure and love are ultimately revered and treasured as the gifts they truly are.

Knowing that what I do and who I am carries a sacred charge helps me shoulder the load. Before I found the concept of the qadishtu or sacred prostitute, I experienced great internal conflict about who and what I was and what I perceived I *should* be based on the larger society's expectations. I am now at peace within myself, although a battle still rages without. I choose to take this head-on by creating my Temple and my various discussion groups. By taking every opportunity to speak to people about the possibilities and promises of sacred sexuality. By subscribing to $pread magazine to support their great work. By any of a number of other little things, I choose every day to confront the issues of our world around sexuality, including prostitutes' rights. By engaging in these things which uphold my values, I maintain integrity and attain serenity with my chosen life, so that I can handle the storms and sacrifices this calling demands. Like I said above, it's not easy....but it's oh soooo worth it!

www.TempleRedLotus.com

Considering Polyamory

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:07:00 +0000

Recently, someone mentioned to me that they were interested in experimenting with polyamory, but weren't sure how to bring it up to their significant other. The following was my response. I thought that others may find this useful as well.

Polyamory is a valid and wonderful lifestyle, for some people. Monogamy is just as valid and wonderful, for some people. Polyamory has become a catch-all word to describe all sorts of non-monogamous relationship choices, so it's important to begin with a question: Why are you considering polyamory?

Are you attracted to someone new and want to explore a separate relationship with him/her?
Are you interested in being able to be free to follow your urges and hook up with people you meet at festivals and other events?
Are you wanting to find a new partner to bring into your existing relationship as an equal?
Do you want the freedom to be sexually expressive of your affection with your friends?
Are you looking to inject new energy into your existing relationship by beginning a new one?
Are you both looking for an occassional playmate to share?
Are you bored or frustrated with your current relationship and want some diversion?
Do you feel pressured to try polyamory because so many people around you are doing it?
Does it seem like a more natural relationship option to you based on your polytheistic spiritual beliefs?
Do you have trouble remaining "faithful" to your partner, and so want to find a way to make your "affairs" more legitimate and honest?

Once you've identified your motivations and discovered whether or not your interest in polyamory is positive and healthy (and not diverting you from some deeper relationship issues), then you can begin the conversation with your significant other. I would recommend starting from the place of your motivation, and mentioning polyamory as an option. There are many great resources for defining and describing polyamory, both on the internet, in book form, and in the form of friends who practice the lifestyle.

Beware - polyamory doesn't "fix" or "solve" anything. If you're having problems in your relationship, they will remain and may even become worse if you prematurely embark on an exploration of polyamory. Open and honest communication is the single most important quality necessary to successfully navigating a polyamorous relationship, no matter how many partners are involved.

Also remember the popular poly maxim: "Love is infinite, time and energy are not." Although those of us who identify as polyamorous believe that we are capable of loving any number of people simultaneously, we also realize (or quickly learn) that all relationships take work, time, energy, and attention, which necessarily limits how many partners we can realistically keep up with.

If you and your S.O. do decide to experiment, you should discuss AHEAD of time, some of the following (and this is in no way meant to be an exhaustive list):

Time and energy balance (who needs what kind of time and energy, and how to balance those needs)
What is permissible (flirting with others, kissing & fondling, full intercourse, etc) and when
The option of Veto power (will you each be able to veto the other's choice of additional partner?)
Jealousy (what will you do WHEN jealousy rears its head)
Hierarchy (will you adhere to the primary/secondary structure? will your family become a pod of equals?)
Where trysts can happen (is it okay for your partner to use your shared bed for trysts with their other partner?)
Agree to revisit your agreements regularly, and to communicate constantly about feelings, needs, boundaries, etc, especially if something changes - we often don't know what is going to trigger a reaction until we have that reaction, and so we need the freedom to renegotiate.

There's plenty more, but I encourage you to consider all of this first, and then do some reading and talking with other poly folk. I'd be happy to talk with you more in a private Temple session, if you'd like.

I see myself as I already am

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 17:44:00 +0000

I am on the Zaadz network (http://templeredlotus.zaadz.com/) and they posted a Question for Reflection today, which has to do with descrbing your dream job. The following is my blog entry answer....

I see myself as I already am

Posted on Mar 22nd, 2007 by Inara

This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 22, 2007:

I see myself in a flowing gown, hair streaming down my back, surrounded by a lush and luxuriant room, a smile of warmth and love radiating from my face as I reach out to you and pull you into an embrace that makes you cry with the sweetness of it all. I am a Qadishtu priestess, a divine representation of the Goddess, doing her sacred sexualoving work, bringing love, joy, healing and celebration to everyone. We heal the world, one embrace at a time.

I see myself in a Temple, surrounded by my fellow priests and priestesses, teaching them, communing with them, supporting them on this path. I see us joining hands and hearts in a common vision and mission of healing the world's mind-body-spirit split through our ethical and compassionate application of sacred sexuality philosophies and practices.

I see myself seated in a circle of teenagers, all participating at their own comfort levels, as I instruct them in a more sacred approach to sexuality. I hear their questions and honor their curiousity, without judging or criticizing or ridiculing them. I convey to them the awesome responsibility of being sexual beings, while also gently cautioning them about the consequences of irrresponsibility. I also lovingly impart the utter joy and pleasure to be found in truly equal, healthy, balanced sexualoving relationships.

I am Qadishtu. That is my dream job. What would make it even better is if I could possibly find a way to support myself and my Temple without having to devote so many long hours of the day to an office job. But I trust the Goddess has me where she needs me, and where I need to be at this moment.

Namaste and Loving Blessings to you and yours,
Inara

On Gender & Sacred Sexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 14:12:00 +0000

Essay - On Gender & Sacred Sexuality

By Inara de Luna
© April 2006

We all hold within us the energies of both masculine and feminine. These are short-cut words, used to facilitate our understanding of the concepts. But they tend to, in the process, oversimplify the concepts, thus limiting them in our minds.

Masculine refers to the active principle; the feminine to the receptive principle. We assign these principles to specific genders because the anatomy of each gender actually corresponds symbolically to the principle it is associated with. For instance, the receptive principle is called the feminine principle - look at the womb, a receptacle for the active sperm, and for cradling the new life that will begin there. Look, too, at the way that the feminine body engages in sexual intercourse: it receives within itself the male, active sex organ. You can also see the truth of this in the reverse. The male or active principle is represented by the phallus, that active organ which thrusts into the receptive vagina and does not receive or hold anything within itself. It is the conductor of the sperm, into the waiting and receptive womb. But that's where the gender-related limitations on these two principles ends.

Look at the yin/yang symbol - a field of white, with a bit of black caught within in, married complementarily to a field of black, with a bit of white caught within it. We are each like one field or the other. Some of us are more predominantly white (or male, or active) and some are more predominantly black (or female, or receptive). But we each carry some measure of our complementary opposite within us. We all can call up either energy depending on what we're needing at any given time. Unfortunately, due to the gender roles that society teaches us to play, we often don't realize that and so we are crippled and limited and often feel vague stirrings of frustration, or we feel incompetent in certain areas.

It is possible, and even desirable, to learn to integrate these two principles within yourself. But first you have to learn your own manifestations of each, and learn to recognize your capacity for the qualities associated with each. You need to differentiate a bit, and rise up out of the unconscious beliefs you hold about yourself, before you can re-integrate each side fully and become a whole human being.

Sacred sexuality, in large part, is learning to integrate the many, often-disparate, parts of yourself (mind, body, spirit) through the powerful vehicle of your sexuality. In learning to approach sex in a sacred manner, you treat your body and its passions and pleasures with mindful attention, you learn to revere your body and that of your lover, you begin to see your own divinity shining through, and your orgasms begin to give you a glimpse of the interconnectedness of all beings. By learning to harness the sexual energy that dances both within yourself and throughout the universe, you can apply that energy in different, more focused and deliberate directions, such as magical workings, creative enterprises, or caretaking duties.

Engaging in sacred sexuality practices requires you to think about your intention and your technique, it requires you to feel fully and embrace your light and dark emotions, it requires you to connect with your higher Self.

The sacred inner marriage rite is one way to symbolically unite the two sides of your Self. The heiros gamos that most people are familiar with takes place between two individuals, usually the high priestess and her high priest, who embody and symbolize the Goddess and her Consort.

Taking this archetypal act and internalizing is quite powerful. But you need first to identify both your inner masculine/yang/anima and your inner feminine/yin/animus, before you can marry them, unifying your inner Self. We will explore some techniques for how to do this in a future essay.

Celebrating Imbolc

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 14:58:00 +0000

Happy Imbolc, everyone!

Although not everyone who may read this is pagan, I wanted to share the following in celebration of this holiday that I celebrate. The ritual I describe is one that I designed, and does not adhere to any particular tradition within paganism. For the adepts, this is also fairly basic and may not meet your needs. Take what works for you and move on. If anyone else would like to share what works for them, I'd love to hear about it!

~~~~~~~~~

Imbolc is the time of the quickening, when the earth begins to come back to life, in preparation for the blossoming of spring. This is the time of year in which we celebrate the Virgin or Maiden aspect of the Goddess, as she prepares for growth and renewal. In ancient times, the word "virgin" was used to denote a woman who was strong and independent, who was not tied to any man (neither father nor husband), a woman who could make her own decisions and direct her own life. She could have sexual relations when and with whom she desired, not when it was expected of her.

The lessons of the Virgin are appropriate for both men and women. During this time of the Virgin, you have an opportunity to stand up for yourself and your own needs, to ask for what you want and to take responsibility for your own stuff. You can clear out the old, to make way for the new, by doing some self-examination and being honest with yourself about what's holding you back from being the best that you can possibly be. Ask the Goddess in her Virgin aspect to assist you in becoming stronger about asserting your opinions, honoring your feelings, and doing the work it takes to live the life you want to live.

Masturbation Meditation:

This is a great opportunity to use masturbation as a sacred sexual tool to augment your spiritual practice. Remind yourself that your pleasure is your responsibility, and that there is nothing wrong with taking an opportunity to pleasure yourself. You'll want to make arrangements to ensure that you will not be disturbed. Also remember, in addition to your regular ritual supplies and tools, that you set aside, in your circle (whether on the altar or beside the bed), the supplies you'll need for your self-pleasuring ritual.

Sanctify your space and honor the elements or directions as you are comfortable and accustomed to. Then connect with the Goddess and state your intentions. ("Goddess, with this ritual, I desire to connect with myself more deeply, and to honor your gifts by pleasuring myself. I offer my pleasure, including whatever orgasms I may have, as an offering of love to you and to myself. Please guide me this day in feeling secure in the knowledge that I am a sacred being, that I am worthy of this pleasure.")

Sit or lie in a comfortable position, close your eyes, breathe deeply from your belly. Relax and begin to touch yourself lightly in non-sexual ways and places. Rub your arms, your legs, your back; scritch your head, massage your neck. Then gradually begin caressing yourself in loving ways, slowly allowing your hands to move to more erogenous areas. Allow the energy to become more erotic as you continue to touch yourself lovingly and sensually. When you are ready, begin to pleasure yourself in the manner you like best. Start slow and let the energy build. As you do this, repeat to yourself the following mantra: "I am sacred. Pleasure is sacred. I am worthy of this pleasure." The energy will build, your rhythm will increase, and your chanting may get louder (you can repeat it silently, as well, but when we say things out loud, our subconsicous works with them on a deeper level.) Continue pleasuring yourself and chanting your mantra until you approach orgasm or you're approaching some sense of satisfaction and culmination. Continue until you reach that energetic and/or physical peak, whereupon you will release the energy toward the Goddess, and you may shout, moan, scream or otherwise vocalize your gratitude to the Goddess.

Allow yourself to wallow in the after-glow with yourself and the Goddess for a few minutes. Allow the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction to gently and naturally subside. If you feel silly, embarassed or any other seemingly negative emotion, forgive yourself, hold yourself in compassionate space and assure yourself that all your feelings are valid. If you're feeling joy, power, happiness...revel in it....and thank the Goddess again! :)

This is just one suggestion for how to use sacred sexuality to honor and work with the energies of this season. Happy Imbolc, no matter how you choose to celebrate or observe it! :)

In sacred love & sensuality,
Inara

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 02:33:00 +0000

Essay - It's All About Sex

Inara de Luna (c) September 2005

Why is it always all about sex? Have you heard someone say this, or perhaps have you said it before? Many people tend to get disgusted with how much sex is used in advertising. “Sex sells,” is the standard response. We, as a society, want to relegate sex to private, monogamous, bedroom interactions. The military has its “Don’t ask; don’t tell” policy. Teachers and other professionals are encouraged to keep their relationship status out of their workplace in various ways. Movies and television shows and video games all have to clearly state if they include any type of sexual content, and many of these can only be shown at certain times or at certain places, and to certain people (those considered “of age”). Sex is a taboo topic of conversation in “polite” social situations, and many people would like for it to be completely obliterated from our children’s education.

What people don’t understand is that sex IS a part of everything. Sex is, literally, what makes the world go ‘round. The most obvious example of the truth of this, of course, is that if we didn’t have sex, none of us would be here. We need to reproduce as a species, and the best way to do so is through sexual intercourse. But there are so many other ways that the concept of sex can be seen to be present in all things.

Let’s look at the word “yoga,” for a moment. It means, in Sanskrit, “union.” Well, what does the word “union” mean? Basically, union is the bringing together of multiple things into one new thing. In yoga, it’s usually taken to mean that one uses the practices and techniques of yoga to achieve union between the mind, the body and the spirit. Or to achieve union between man and the divine, or between oneself and all of creation.

Sexual union is usually understood to be a joining between (usually) two people into what feels, briefly, like one new entity. Have you ever experienced that feeling of not knowing where your skin ends and your lover’s begins? Have you ever been so attuned to someone that it seemed as if you could read each other’s thoughts, or knew exactly what each other’s bodies were craving? Sex and yoga are both unions.

And if we expand our concept of sex to include the entire spectrum of sexuality practices, including the dance of attraction, then we can explore our metaphor further. The sexual dance of the cosmos, the sexual interplay of atoms and molecules…the “marriage” of ideas…engaging in conversational intercourse…sex is a give and take, a play of interrelation, a joining and melding and unifying force, however that force manifests.

If we weren't so afraid of the power of that force, we could relax into it and enjoy the many ways we can interact with that force. Perhaps it's too much of a stretch to think of sex as a universal force. Think of it this way: sexual energy and creative energy come from the same source - the universal life force. We are always constantly creating in multitudes of ways: fixing dinner, crafting a persuasive argument, designing the layout of your new house, even dressing yourself everyday is an act of creation. That creative energy, at its core, is the same as the generative energy associated with sex. We call on the same life force energy when we decided to create something new, or just to practice creating something new (as in a baby, during sex).

Have you ever experienced a rush of ecstacy outside of the bedroom? A final triumphal moment in a game or race, a deeply satisfying sense of accomplishment upon completion of a major or important task, a deep sense of contentedness, serenity or joy in any situation...these are all akin to the orgasmic rush at the peak of a sexual experience. Even supposedly non-sexual spiritual mystics enjoyed moments of ecstasy in communion with their Creator or God, moments which sound suspiciously like sexual gratification when reading their own descriptions of the experience.

Sex can be seen as to be pervasive in all things and you can learn to recognize the sensual dimension of every part of your life, thus making of your life a sacred sensual expression of divine communion. It is all about sex...but that's not such a bad thing....

Creation of new yahoo group on Sacred Sexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 19:07:00 +0000

Hello all!!

For the last couple of years, I have been running a succesful private yahoo group called CLASS_Atl (Celebrating Love and Sacred Sexuality in Atlanta). Although that group is still going strong, I wanted to create an additional group to meet the need for this kind of discussion on a larger level. The Atlanta group consists largely of people who already know each other from the local pagan festival scene and the related communities. This new group CLASS_USA will be open to the public, although new people will have to go through an application process, so that I can screen out those who are just looking to spam new sex-related groups. I will keep this group tightly focused on our discussion theme and I won't tolerate disrespect between members.

If you are interested in learning more and sharing, I encourage you to come visit us!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CLASS_USA/

Lovingly,
Inara de Luna

Linking Sacred Sexuality and Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:42:00 +0000

In light of the recent flurry of interest in the Global Orgasm project, I wanted to post an essay I wrote a few weeks ago which links sacred sexuality, peace and the concept of sacred play ("lila" in Sanskrit).

For more info on the Global Orgasm event, check out these links:

globalorgasm.org

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines06/1120-02.htm

And now, on to my essay...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Essay - Connecting Sacred Sexuality, Sacred Play & Peace

I've been asked to give a workshop at the Peace Day Festival, which has been themed "A Day of Play," and was told that my classes on Sacred Sexuality would fit in beautifully. This has challenged me to define the connection between sacred sexuality, peace and sacred play.

To me, sacred sexuality is twofold: (1) the process of using sex and sensuality as the vehicle through which you experience recognition of or appreciation for the divine in yourself and others, and (2) a practice toward integration of your being on several levels: the body, mind, heart and soul; the male and female aspects; the human and divine; the sacred and profane. Through the process of recognition of the divine and the process of integration, a sense of peace and harmony is inevitable. This is true whether you're working primarily with yourself, in a relationship, or in a larger community.

When working with yourself, learning to see the divine within helps you to achieve peace because you are no longer at war with yourself. Once you recognize your own inner divinity, there is no more reason to beat yourself up over little things, you can see that your body is a beautiful temple of the divine, no matter what its shape or size, and you are more in touch with your innermost feelings, desires, boundaries and personal power. Of course, there is more that goes into achieving a state of peace, but we'll delve into that later.

When you are able to consistently appreciate the divine within your lover, partner, parents, siblings, children, etc…you can be more forgiving, more compassionate, more open, more vulnerable, more trusting. The Divine is all these things and so to see them in your very human partner opens you to interacting with them from a place of divine grace. This isn't to say that you won't still get angry or irritated with them at times, but it does help you to work out differences and difficulties with more mutual respect, patience, grace and maturity. When you connect with the inner divine of your partner, you don't operate from a presumption of distrust of their motivations or intentions.

Once you learn to appreciate the role each aspect of your being has to play in creating your overall Self, you can integrate them and become Whole and Holy. The body, mind, heart and spirit all work cooperatively to keep you healthy and happy. Your inner masculine and feminine traits and energies are balanced and equal, allowing you to temper justice with compassion, strength with vulnerability, and assertiveness with gentleness. Once you've begun to achieve these integrations, the separations between human and divine, and that between sacred and profane, begin to blur and disappear. The yin/yang balance becomes a merged union of Wholeness, in which seeming opposites are actually found to be complementaries. And once you've experienced this oneness within yourself, it's not such a stretch to expand that understanding beyond yourself to incorporate everyone around you, and to fully know that we are all indeed interconnected.

Once you can sense the interconnections between all the beings on the planet, and appreciate that the divine resides in all things and beings, it becomes impossible to hate and make violence on anyone else, because they are a part of you. To harm another is to harm yourself. Peace then becomes inevitable as we learn to maintain our state of harmony and interconnection. This process of learning to maintain our state of harmony and interconnection is truly about making love, not war.

Neither sacred sexuality, playfulness nor peace can exist in the face of hate, distrust, fear or animosity. All can be experienced in and contribute to an atmosphere of love, trust, compassion, harmony and serenity.

Sacred play is about honoring the divine role that playing fills in our lives. The harder we work, the more we need to relax, engage in leisure activities, indulge our creative natures, and enjoy pleasure. If we don't make room for these things, our lives begin to resemble a wasteland, empty of enjoyment, emotion, satisfaction or serenity. Material accomplishments can only go so far in buoying us up...we need to balance our doing with simply being. And divine play can help us with that. During play, children are completely focused on the activity of the moment. Their attention is absorbed, they are wholly present, and their feelings of joy are readily apparent in the look in their eye, the big easy smiles, the bursts of laughter, the clapping of hands.

It is said that "God" was playing when he made the world. He wanted to experience some of this for himself and so incarnates as a physical being every now and then. It's fascinating in the way that a captured beetle fascinates a toddler.

Approaching our adult sexual lives with a sense of childlike wonder, innocence, playfulness, attentiveness, hyper-focus, and present-awareness can only enhance our joy and pleasure in the interaction.

Interweaving then the three concepts of sacred sexuality, divine play and world peace is a process of recognizing each other's inherent divinity, integrating all the disparate parts of ourselves so as to recognize our own divinity, playing with each other in ways that celebrate each other's strengths, fulfill each other's needs for affection, pleasure and acceptance, respecting one another's processes, listening to one another's needs and complaints from a place of maternal, compassionate, detached Witness, holding safe space for each other's growth and healing to take place.

Can you imagine a world in which the leaders of conflicted countries could come together in a yab-yum embrace, engage in an eye-gazing exercise, express their heartfelt needs, fears and hurt places, ask one another for forgiveness and express what they feel would help heal the situation, and then tickle one another until both fell over from laughing so hard, finally to be bathed by the temple priestesses before celebrating their newfound unity by engaging sensually with each other or the priestesses themselves? What a world that would be….

noreply@blogger.com (Inara de Luna) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 20:22:00 +0000

ROFLMAO!! I've got to send this you all, because it actually made me laugh out loud!!
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"We hear a lot of arguments today that the reason that we can't get serious about our borders is that we are desperate for all these workers," Emery said. "You don't have to think too long. If you kill 44 million of your potential workers, it's not too surprising we would be desperate for workers."
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You've got to be kidding me!!! The reason we can't really keep the illegal immigrants out of our country is because we need them to do the work that all those potential people who were aborted could be doing, if we hadn't killed them. LOL!! The anti-choice folks are really reaching on this one.

I hope no one here takes offense at my incredulity, but this is just going too far. I only hope that these kinds of statements don't start dictating more of our government policy and legislation.

Any thoughts? Dissenting opinions are okay, too! :)

Lovingly,
Inara

PS - I also find it interesting that this report also introduces the Fair Tax concept, but the article says absolutely nothing else about the one line statement:
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The statements about abortion, welfare policies and a recommendation to abolish income taxes in favor of sales taxes were inserted into the immigration report by the committee chairman, Rep. Ed Emery.
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: News List <NewsList@woodhullfoundation.org >
Date: Nov 16, 2006 6:55 AM
Subject: [wff-newslist] Opposition Research: Lawmakers Blame Abortion For Labor Shortage
To: wff-newslist@lists.woodhullfoundation.org

http://www.wfsb.com/politics/10329613/detail.html?rss=hart&psp=news

Lawmakers Blame Abortion For Labor Shortage

POSTED: 5:19 pm EST November 15, 2006
UPDATED: 5:51 pm EST November 15, 2006

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- A Republican-led legislative panel in Missouri claims in a new report on illegal immigration that abortion is partly to blame because it is causing a shortage of American workers.

The report from the state House Special Committee on Immigration Reform also claims "liberal social welfare policies" have discouraged Americans from working and encouraged immigrants to cross the border illegally.

The statements about abortion, welfare policies and a recommendation to abolish income taxes in favor of sales taxes were inserted into the immigration report by the committee chairman, Rep. Ed Emery.

All six Democrats on the panel refused to sign the report. Some of them called the abortion assertion ridiculous and embarrassing.

"There's a lot of editorial comment there that I couldn't really stomach," Rep. Trent Skaggs said Monday. "To be honest, I think it's a little delusional."

All 10 Republican committee members signed the report, though one of them, Rep. Billy Pat Wright, said Monday he didn't recall it connecting abortion and illegal immigration.

Emery, who equates abortion to murder, defended the assertions.

"We hear a lot of arguments today that the reason that we can't get serious about our borders is that we are desperate for all these workers," Emery said. "You don't have to think too long. If you kill 44 million of your potential workers, it's not too surprising we would be desperate for workers."

National Right to Life estimates there have been more than 47 million abortions since the Supreme Court established a woman's right to abortion in its 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling. The immigration report estimates there are 80,000 fewer Missourians because of abortion, many of whom now would have been in a "highly productive age group for workers."

The abortion connection to illegal immigration was listed under the report's recommendations on federal social policies and potential state legislative actions on illegal hiring.

"Suggestions for how to stop illegal hiring varied without any simple solution," the report states. "The lack of traditional work ethic, combined with the effects of 30 years of abortion and expanding liberal social welfare policies have produced a shortage of workers and a lack of incentive for those who can work."

Democrats contend the abortion statement wasn't discussed, much less agreed to, by the committee. Emery said there was some testimony about abortion during a question-and-answer session at one of the hearings, although he couldn't recall by whom.

"I felt like that was significant enough and fundamental enough that it warranted addressing it in the report," he said.

Missouri does not keep records of oral testimony during legislative committee hearings.

Skaggs said the abortion statement undermines the credibility of the entire report, which was submitted to the House speaker's office late last week.

"That's ridiculous to draw that conclusion. I don't think that has anything to do with immigration," said committee member Rep. Ed Wildberger, the chairman of the House Democratic caucus.

The report also includes short essays by Emery about the history of immigration, the purpose of immigration laws and the importance of a common language. In those, he notes "the issue of illegal immigration does not lend itself to compromise."

===================================
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Inara de Luna © August 2006