Temple Transformation

Physical Stomach vs Emotional Stomach

2011-03-04T11:12:00.001-06:00

****DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ABOUT FEELINGS, IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN FEELINGS OR YOU'RE LOOKING FOR GOOD FEELINGS, CLOSE YOUR BROWSER. *****

There is so much swirling around in my head that I can't make sense of it all. Years ago, when I was in graduate school, I battled depression. Thankfully, I had an amazing friend and office mate who walked through that time in my life with me and I got the help that I needed without the wheels totally falling off my life.

I see many similarities surfacing over the last few months and am trying to carefully figure out what to do and where to go. My weight issues are so tied up in emotional and mental struggles that to simply focus on calories or carbs or even just the food and exercise in general is asinine.

I've been doing some journaling lately to try to sort through some things. My husband often asks me "what's wrong?" and gets mad when I say "I don't know." It takes me longer than most to figure out really what's going on inside of me. I may be able to say I'm mad or I'm sad or I'm lonely or any number of things, but I'm not satisfied with just labeling a feeling.

Last night I was vegging on the couch because I felt like I was coming down with some kind of cold/flu. As I was flipping through the channels, Dr. Oz was starting. I can hardly stand to watch his show, but there was an intervention going on for a woman who weighed over 700 lbs. Battling weight my entire life, I am sort of unreasonably obsessed with weight stories, so I watched. The one thing that really struck me was when this lady's new therapist was talking about what they'd be discussing in counseling and brought up the physical stomach and the emotional stomach. Obviously she only spoke for a minute, but I have been thinking about that imagery.

I used to be an emotional eater all the time. When I was sad, I ate. When I was happy, I ate. When I was mad, I ate. Over the last couple years, I think I've evolved into a different type of emotional eater. When I am angry, I want to eat. The end. I don't know how to process feelings of anger. I start to try to figure out why I'm mad, but often rationalize that my anger isn't justified and then still feel mad, so I eat, in order to not feel. To punish myself for being mad?

When things are out of my control or I feel helpless or alone or like I've been abandoned, I get frustrated and eventually angry. I am a go-getter who just does things when they need doing and when I can't do that, it ticks me off. I find myself lately feeling like if nobody else cares about me, why should I? So I've been eating. To punish myself for being pathetic.

I don't get the whole idea of self-love. It's beyond me right now. I don't feel capable or lovable. So I eat. To punish myself?

To me actions speak louder than words. Anyone can type and speak. Few have what it takes to go beyond what's easy and safe. Maybe this is why I'm unimpressed by kindness via Twitter or Facebook or email or someone telling me they want to do something...because it's all words. Good intentions.

I decided to make a kind of list deciphering the difference between my physical stomach and my emotional stomach.

My Physical Stomach

Is only used for food

Food is only for energy and nourishment for my physical body

I KNOW what is best for my body

My Emotional Stomach

starving for attention

starving for time

starving for connection

starving for help

For me to be eating food and expecting anything in my emotional stomach to change in any way is silly.

Years ago I did some counseling with someone that ended up becoming a great friend to me and eventually to my husband. He was involved in our premarital counseling and our wedding. At first I resented the fact that I had to pay money for someone to listen to me and help me work through my problems at that time in life. Eventually I made peace with it and knew I was getting valuable insight and doing hard work and that it was the one hour a week where I could be totally honest and the one hour a week that was totally about me. I didn't have to ask him how his week was going or endure small talk or show a bit of care or concern about anyone but myself. I'm an expert at making it about everyone else and secretly hoping that someone will do the same for me in return, but then when it doesn't only get mad at myself for being that way.

Several months ago I started researching counselors in my area, but was so overwhelmed that I gave up and thought I'd give it another go on my own. And now I'm mad at myself, because I'm realizing that I can't continue to be angry at myself and others for not being able to be what I need or give me what I need. If I have some things I'm working through, it's not fair to expect others to carry me through and then be hurt when they don't, when they didn't sign up for that.

I'm happy to say that my sister is coming to visit next weekend and then the following weekend my parents and other sister are coming. I really need some time with my family right now, just to remember that I am loved and lovable. Their visits couldn't come at a better time. Thank you, God, for knowing that.

If any of you know any good counselors in the KC area, I'd be grateful for your suggestions.

Head Over Hurdles

2011-02-22T16:02:00.000-06:00

My life is NUTS this week, but I have a tiny bit of down time to get this post out (more for my own record keeping than that I assume anyone is chomping at the bit to hear what I have to say). I had several meetings and workshops that had to be cancelled because of snow last month and it just so happens that they are all rescheduled to this week. I do ok with busy periods as long as I have an organized game plan. So last week I tried to get all of my usual plans squared away until NEXT week, because I knew THIS week would be CUHRAZY.

I'm more of a prevent fires from coming up, rather than putting fires out as they happen kinda gal. This way, little to nothing slips through the cracks and shit keeps gettin done without me feeling like a maniac.

Well, I'm super happy to announce that I weighed myself on Sunday and was down another 3#, putting my official pounds lost since starting my temple transformation at 101! HALLELUJAH! For realz. Yes, I know that I have worked hard and been diligent and carried out the practical day to day physical steps, BUT, were it not for the strength and courage and spirit of my God alive inside of me, I know I would not be where I am.
When I have needed wisdom, all I've had to do is go to my Source. When I've needed encouragement and discipline and self-control, He has kept His promise.

It's given me renewed motivation to finally be passing the hundred pound hurdle (and giving it the middle finger as I sprint on by)! This combined with it almost being effortless to stick with my eating and exercise plan has me feeling high as a kite! I'll be the one floating around on the clouds because I feel so great.

My leprosy is showing a little improvement, so I was kind of glad it got cold here again, so I could wear a scarf and something with a collar to hide my disease (If you're new here, I do NOT really have leprosy, but am having some kind of reaction to something--can I have any LESS information?). It hasn't even been a week since I saw the doc and she said to give it two weeks, so I'm trying to be patient. I considered doing a couple tanning sessions, because that often cleared my skin up asap, back in my fake n bake days. Eventually it'll be warm enough to soak up the rays outside, but not quite yet. Part of me wonders if this reaction could be related to my vit d deficiency, but imagine I'd have seen it happen before this if that were the case.

On to workouts. I've been doing the same routine on Sundays for a few weeks now, trying to improve my time. I always start with 2 walk laps and then 2 jog laps on the track for a warm-up. Then start the five rounds of running 2 laps/walking 2 laps carrying 50 lbs in kettlebells, ending with a cool down same as the warm-up. I only time the 5 rounds. Sunday I clocked 28 minutes--shaving another 2 minutes off the previous week's time. It felt awesome.

Yesterday I did the same routine as the previous Monday, but my plan is to start timing this as well, working to beat each week. I walked 2 laps, jogged 2 laps, then started with 100 jump ropes and 15 35# full extension kettlebell swings, then 90 jumps and 15 swings, 80 jumps and 15...etc. Then my cooldown was 2 jog laps and 2 walk laps. I worked on mobility and stretching at home. The last round of swings was m.u.r.d.e.r. But that was an improvement from the week before, where the last several rounds were a major struggle. I wanted to get through it fast so I could go back home and enjoy the evening with my husband and daughter, because I have meetings every other night this week. Yay! So, next week I'll be timing this routine.

Today I wanted to try to establish a little more of a baseline for my deadlift max. Last week I had put 90# on the bar, which Sam confirmed weighs 30 lbs. I was mistaken in saying that I was doing 120# deadlifts. I was doing cleans. SO, today I did 4 sets of 10 deadlifts at 140#. Then I loaded it to 160# and did a set of 10, 6, and 4. Then I was interested to see what I would max out on today. so I added another 10# and did a couple, added another 5# and did a couple, then finally had 180# and did one and was done. Beyond done actually. There was an old man sitting on bench behind me that just sat and watched the WHOLE thing. I thought maybe he was waiting for the bar, but after I was done he just started working on the machine he was sitting at. I hope grandpa enjoyed the gun show! I know I did!

Then I did 5 rounds of 10 overhead press squats w/45# dumbbell and 10 sit-ups. Finally, I did 100 jump ropes, followed by 10 box jumps, then decreased jump ropes by 20, staying with 10 box jumps until I completed the decline. My cooldown was 2 jog laps and 2 walk laps. I did my stretching and mobility before leaving.

I should have been tracking my food the last few days and posting that, but I didn't. However, I made these TASTY bite-size treats the other day. They aren't 100% Paleo, but they are sugar free and pack a protein/fat power punch.
I mixed up some sunflower seed and almond butter with unsweetened coconut flakes and coconut oil, a scoop of whey protein powder (chocolate), and enough of my morning coffee to help it stir into a thick batter. I also added a little instant coffee that I had in the cupboard (from a Starbucks gift pack I got for Christmas from my awesome secret sister), but probably would leave it out next time. I then scooped out thumbsized amounts and pressed a raw almond into each one and put them in the fridge. My husband probably would have liked to eat them all in one sitting, except we have an abusive relationship, so I monitor his food intake. (OBVIOUSLY joking!)

Tonight I have a stew in the crockpot with the rest of the turkey from last week, homemade stock, coconut milk, vegs, and curry/cumin/various herbs to season. It looks and smells AWESOME. Be jealous or come on over for dinner! I won't be here, but my husband and daughter would love the company!

So Close

2011-02-18T16:46:00.000-06:00

Happy Friday!

So, I confess that I weigh myself every morning. I know people advise not to do this, BUT it helps keep me in check and keeps me from even considering backsliding if I just step on the scale once a day. I don't freak out or have a hissy (too much) if it doesn't change. Obviously. The scale has been soooooo slow to do anything the last few months. Though last month I lost about 10 # in the Paleo Challenge and this month I'm down another two pounds. This puts me at 98 pounds lost since I started my lil "temple transformation" about 18 months ago. I think it'll actually be two years in July?

The one thing I'm grateful for is that I've never considered quitting, no matter what. Even when the scale hasn't shown evidence of my effort and diligence. Even when I've deviated and had/done things I shouldn't have. Even when my emotions were a wild roller coaster and I felt like I was failing and would never see victory. Quitting was never an option.

I make zero claims to have this all figured out. I find things that work and things that don't. I realize my strengths and try to use them to overcome my weaknesses. I try to be open to change and know that if something works for a while, doesn't mean it will forever. What is a struggle now, won't always be.

I still can't believe I'm actually going to reach my goal weight for the first time in my entire life THIS YEAR. I will be 34 and in the best shape of my entire life! While part of me is really saddened by that--mostly for my child self, I'm absolutely elated to see the horizon.
I feel like by now I should be posting my starting weight and current weight and my goal weight. I need to build the courage. I know it's just a number. I know that even though I weigh what I do, I'm still a total bad-ass and could twirl you like a baton without breaking a sweat. BUT to tell you what I weigh? I'll have to let that settle in a little bit longer. Maybe tomorrow.

This morning I was not hungry (again), so had some whey protein and water with my cup of coffee and vits.
For lunch I had a leftover turkey leg and a few strawberries.
Tonight we have parents' night at Maddie's school and I'm bringing some turkey meatballs so I know we'll have something we can eat. And I'm about to sit down right now and eat part of a leftover sweet potato with coconut oil.
I've been drinking water like a mother. I recently read that you should drink the same number of ounces as your weight. That's a shit ton of water for me. heheh.

More good news? My leprosy is slightly improved from yesterday. I may consider wearing my hair up tomorrow, instead of being terrified of exposing my neck.

Thirty to Life

2011-02-17T18:42:00.001-06:00

While I'd say I'm doing another 30 day challenge, I'm not actually
counting the days this time. I know this is the way I want to live the
next 30 days and every day beyond that.

I am finally over the effects of the shit-fest this weekend. AND
actually down a pound on the scale! I'll still be tracking my food and
exercise for a while, to help keep myself accountable.

Tonight Justin and I are taking a wine tour spinning class for our
workout of the day! Apparently while you spin your happy little ass, a
movie screen plays wine country and talks about wine characterstics
for various regions. I love trying new things, so it'll be great no
matter what.

I went to the doc about being a lepper today. She said I was having a
terrible allergic reaction to something and my skin was in terrible
distress. No shit. I could've told you that. She advised stopping all
current facial products--including makeup. Then wanted me to start
some steroids, but I reminded her of the whole blood vomiting stuff
this fall and she agreed steroids would cause huge problems. Instead I
go the "slow" route and take some anti-histamines, use Cetaphil
cleanser and moisturizer, and am going back on the pill.

I expressed auto-immunity possibilities and she looked at me like I
was crazy. She said if I was having a reaction to something in my diet
I'd be seeing a reaction on more than just my neck/face. I'm not
convinced. But have been paying very close attention to what happens
when I do/eat certain things.

I hate being on drugs. But I also hate looking like I should be put on
a deserted island. She said the pill would also help my floundering
iron levels and ease my pms symptoms and keep me from getting
pregnant. Again, no shit. I was on the pill for 1200 years back in the
90s. I'm well aware of its function and benefits.

If I don't see drastic improvement within two weeks I'll be referred
to a dermatologist. No biggie. I'm glad to be doing something about
it, other than hating my face.

This morning I was busy prepping the turkey for roasting, so I just
had a few strawberries and whey protein w water.

I had a late lunch of turkey, cucs, and cashews.

Dinner was turkey and sweet potato w coconut oil and a few bites of
unsweetened apple sauce.

Time to spin!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Mid-week Food Action

2011-02-16T18:32:00.000-06:00

This won't be too rambly. I'm simply updating my food report.

I wasn't all that hungry this morning, so I had a hardboiled egg and a
couple strawberries.

This afternoon I had some green tea, but didn't eat until dinner tonight.
I made Paleo spaghetti (beef, homemade tomato sauce, green beans)

When I have my Natural Calm tonight, I'm planning to enjoy some
blueberries and 85% dark choc.

Tomorrow I'm seeing the doctor about the "leprosy" on my neck. It
almost looks like hives and I'm freaking out cuz it's so ugly. I
thought it could've been a reaction to something I ate this wknd, but
wouldn't it be gone by now?

Nasty!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Tuesday's Food/Workout

2011-02-15T20:58:00.001-06:00

My breakfast was eggs, ham, and kale.

I attended a lunch meeting at church, but pizza was being served.
Thankfully there was a massive bowl of field greens and olives and
tomatoes, so I piled my plate w that (no dressing) and had water and a
cup of coffee (I bypassed fresh baked cookies even!).

We had grocery shopping to do after the meeting, but when I got home I
ate a leftover porkchop and some cashews.

Dinner was salmon fillet and sauteed cabbage

This evening I had a few strawberries and am about to eat some tuna,
walnuts, and coconut oil.

My workout was sort of a mix of stuff.
I walked 2 laps on the track, then jogged 2.
Then I did 5 rounds of 10 squats and 10 dead lifts. My problem is that
I don't know how much the bar weighs. I had 2 45# plates on the bar,
but it's a set-up where the bar is locked onto the rack and I have no
clue how much it weighs. So, I know I obviously had 90#. Next time
I'll try a standard bar, detached, I think those are 30-45#? I'm
trying to establish a baseline for myself and have been having to
figure it out by watching videos and stuff online. I don't advise
doing it this way. Form and technique are so important. I'll probably
end up injuring myself or someone or something.

Anyway, after that rotation, I did 5 rounds where I took a 45# dumbell
and did squats w overhead lift 10 times followed by 10 sit-ups. So,
for clarity sake: 10 squats/10 sit-ups 5 times.

Then I set up a step for box jumps and did a series of 100 jump ropes
followed by 10 box jumps, then 80 jump ropes followed by 10 box jumps,
declining 20 jump ropes but staying at 10 box jumps, until zero.

Finally I jogged 2 laps and walked 2 more.

I'm not a huge fan of creating my own workouts, but think I've done a
decent job so far at pushing myself harder than I have in a while.
Tomorrow is rest day and Thursday night I'm signed up for a wine tour
spinning class! Fun!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Poop n Stuff

2011-02-15T09:48:00.000-06:00

You'd think by now I'd realize that even the occasional food blunder
isn't worth it. I'm not even talking about weight gain, because the
scale stayed the same. But how I feel is so drastically affected, I
can't adquately put into words. But I'll try. And it's gonna be gross.

Gas. When I'm eating steady Paleo, I almost never toot. Put some
standard American food in me and I have awful gas pain and fart like a
tester in the baked bean factory! Misery!

Diarhea. To borrow a phrase from the back of my Natural Calm
container, when I'm eating Paleo, my stools are "comfortably loose."
When I deviate, loose becomes explosive.

Itchy. I've always had problems with my complexion. The best results
have been when I follow Paleo eating and am diligent with using the
Oil Cleansing Method. After having a couple different items with
gluten and diet soda twice (after not having it for months), I wanted
to claw my face/neck off. I have a horrible breakout going on and had
to clip my finger nails to the nubs to keep myself safe.

These are just a few of the lovely side-effects of my weekend of
irresponsibility. Not to mention bloat and puffiness. Everywhere.

So I fasted from Sunday night until about 8:00 last night. After my
workout I had a bowl of Paleo chili and an avocado. And some 85% dark
chocolate (it's that time of the month, so lay off).

My workout was 100 jump ropes followed by 15 35# kettlebell full
extension swings. I decreased each round with the jump rope by 10,
continuing w 15 swings, until I got down to zero. To clarify, 100
jumps/15 swings, 90 jumps/15 swings, 80 jumps/15 swings, 70 jumps/15
swings...get me?
The last 3 rounds of swings were extremely difficult and I think I
almost had a baby. Or it sounded like I was. People were scared.
Then I did some stretching and mobility at home.

Today I woke feeling almost back to normal. The bloat is almost gone
and I feel sane again. I've eaten some eggs, ham, and kale and am on
my way for a quick workout before a lunch teaching at church. I've
been careful to invest with equal fervor into my spiritual health as
my physical. What great results I expect that will yield!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Power Planning

2011-02-13T22:07:00.001-06:00

Well, here we are. Happy almost VD to everyone. Valentine's Day has
never been my favorite, so I always call it VD. Before I was married I
also called it Single Awareness Day. Haha.

Anyway, there's been some upheaval in my life recently and it's really
thrown me for a loop. I'm not interested in sharing all of the details
here, but we've been forced to reevaluate some of the way we've been
doing things and living our life.

I'm so thankful for my faith and my husband right now. Though, as
we've been figuring out some details, especially in the last week,
I've been operating at maybe a 60-70% Paleo lifestyle. I feel pretty
gross. Bloated and gassy would be the understatement of the century.
Did I really have popcorn and diet soda 2 days in a row? Yes! And I'm
paying for it!

In case you haven't noticed, I am 6 lbs from 100 lbs loss in this
journey. I was really hoping to lose another 30 by summer. Since Fall
it has been coming off at a snail's pace. I've been rereading the book
"Protein Power" by Drs. Eades and was reminded to stop using the scale
as my only measure. It's what my weight is made of that matters more
than my weight. They suggested getting a pair of pants that don't fit
and try them on once every week and note the changes. Can you only get
them up to mid-thigh at first, but then a week later to your hips?
Etc.

Quitting is not an option for me in this. So it's important for me to
find ways to continue to make this work. This includes investing
equally into my spiritual health as my physical. These 2 things are
deeply connected for me. Similarly, I have learned that my health
pursuits are much more fulfilling when I'm sharing them with
like-minded people.
I have a great desire to be part of a group of people who are driven
and willing to work hard. My bootcamp class provided that on a very
basic level for a while, but is no longer something I will be
pursuing.

As my husband and I check into some other options available, we have
set up a very detailed plan to help us continue on our own.
Tomorrow we'll be starting another 30 day Paleo "challenge" on our
own, along with a couple other great folks I've connected with on
Twitter. A few differences from the last challenge are that I'm going
to allow 85% dark chocolate, Paleo margaritas (if I really want one),
and some whey protein for days I don't pack a lunch for school but
want a boost.

I always do a weekly menu for my home, but today my husband helped
with the planning. Fun! Then I needed to come up with a more detailed
workout plan since I'm on my own. Back before bootcamp I used to sit
down with my planner every Sunday and schedule my exercise like
appointments and it worked great. This time my husband and I plotted
out our "appointments" AND what we're going to do for each workout.
AWESOME!

So today was my usual Sunday: 3 warm-up laps on the track, followed by
5 sets of 2 laps run and 2 laps of walk w 50# of kettlebells, followed
by 2 cooldown jog laps and 2 walk. Last week my time was 32 minutes.
Today I shaved TWO minutes off and finished in 30! I was pretty
excited (and surprised). Last week was rough because I had been crying
all week and was emotionally exhausted. Today I had some of that, but
just mostly felt gross because of allowances I've been making in my
eating.

I plan to see a sharp change in my time next week, with a great menu
and detailed workout plan set in place.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I had some string cheese the other day.
Remember I was so excited to introduce it back in after the challenge?
Well, it was gross. I couldn't even finish it and have had no desire
for cheese since. Weird!

Justin and I have been praying for wisdom and guidance as we make some
necessary changes in our life. God has been so faithful to see us
through, even though I've been more scared and nervous than I care to
admit. Today has been a day of confirmation that we are headed in the
right direction, though change is never easy for me. I'm a senior
citizen in that respect. And I feel a sense of loyalty to everyone in
the universe, even though few deserve it.

I look forward to seeing what the weeks will hold for us!

--
Sent from my mobile device

The View From The Underside Of The Wagon

2011-02-06T18:25:00.000-06:00

Starting posts is the hardest part of blogging for me. I mostly know what I intend to communicate when I sit down to write, but finding a nice way to introduce is where I suck. To tell the truth, I could really care less today. To quote a silly country song, "my give a damn's busted."

I have been struggling with some things personally for a while and have run out of myself. Before when I said I was dragging my feet of the wagon by having dark chocolate, I would say the last few days I've thrown myself off of the wagon and asked for it to run me over. So this post finds me laying underneath the wagon...or covered in mud on the wagon's tracks. Whatever.

When I first started my weight loss venture, and was really trying to get a hold on the emotional and mental part of it, I attended Overeater's Anonymous meetings several times a week. My husband was the only person to ever know about it at the time. For some reason I was embarrassed and didn't want to hear what others would think of me going there. ANYWAY, I remember a meeting where someone was sharing that they were experience a lot of anger and frustration in life, and to avoid dealing with it they did some "fuck you eating." Logically that makes zero sense. You're mad at someone or something so you go punish yourself? But I knew exactly what they were feeling. It is a similar experience to a recovering drug addict who can't handle the pressure of being "sober" and caves and goes on a bender. You use food like a drug...like an escape...for comfort...to check out of having to feel anything.

I would say that I haven't "used" food in over a year or more. But this weekend has basically been a "bender" for me. It's all relative, because a bender for me now would have been a great day back in my shit days. And when I say bender, I guess I mostly mean that I was trying to numb myself to keep from the relentless suffering that I've been trying to get through.

After eating so clean and deliberate for so long, I obviously feel like shit physically, mentally, and emotionally. It showed in my workout this afternoon. I went to the community center for my Sunday routine this afternoon. Last Sunday was to test it and today was to start doing it for time.
I started with a warm-up of walking then jogging 4 laps. Then realized my phone didn't have a timer, so I just had to go by the clock on it, and not have a time down to the seconds. Big deal.
The workout: running 2 laps on the track followed by walking 2 laps carrying 50 lbs (2 25lb kettlebells). FIVE sets. My time was 32 minutes. I felt like complete and utter shit the whole time but pushed through to complete it. In the middle of the 5th round I felt kind of barfy but managed to keep it together. Then I walked and jogged 4 more laps for cool-down.

I suppose you're wondering what I've eaten the last few days. I'll close with a rundown of my food and say that I'm grateful that God's mercies are new every day. I'm clinging to the fact that HE sees me and has good things in store for me. HE IS MY HOPE.

Friday: a bowl of rice krispies for breakfast
   a 99 cent cheeseburger, small fries, and diet coke for lunch
   Papa Murphy's pizza and salad for dinner, chocolate chip cookies for dessert

Saturday: mini-muffins, sausage and cheese strata, coffee for bkfst
   chicken strips, sweet potato fries, beer for lunch
   a dish of rocky road ice cream and Almond Joy in the afternoon
   scrambled eggs and avocado for a late dinner

Sunday: donut and coffee at a donut shop, after being unable to get a parking spot at church
   bacon, sausage, eggs, apple slices, english muffin, coffee for brunch
   dinner will be: beef roast, kale, avocado

Day 30 Finds Me Happy In #Paleolove

2011-02-01T16:07:00.002-06:00

Well, folks, it's the last day of The 30 Day Paleo Challenge!

I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment and contentment in my ability to basically continue what we've been doing. As you may recall, I have been eating Paleo 80-90 % of the time since June, but had never attempted an "all in" strict 30 days until now.

My motivation initially was to detox myself from the crap I ate over the holidays. I felt a little out of control after allowing myself some "freedom" while we were traveling and celebrating. While I didn't gain any weight, I felt kinda garbagey and was left fighting intense sugar cravings. That needed to end immediately! I wasn't going to be ruled by anything, so this seemed like a great opportunity to better myself.

Where I Struggled

At first it was very difficult to not have popcorn or peanuts (2 things that had become my "go to" snack if I was hungry in the evening) and peanut butter. I also missed being able to have string cheese as an easy protein snack. Almond butter and sunflower seed butter were new things I tried, and I have no plans to reintroduce peanut butter, though I do have some peanuts that have been sitting up in the cupboard that may find their way into my body.

In order to get over my popcorn loss, I simply tried to do away with evening snacking, period. A couple nights I had tuna with coconut oil and walnuts, but was genuinely hungry and not just wanting to snack out of boredom or habit.

I had one setback (you're right, Jamie) in the sugar department, but it was the 87th birthday party of my husband's grandma, so let's just qualify it by saying "Hey, she might not be around much longer and you've gotta make an old lady happy, right?"

Things That Are Normally Paleo Approved

There were two things that are on the Paleo approved list that were to be avoided during these 30 days: dark chocolate and Paleo margaritas (basically tequila and club soda). I stuck to it for the first three weeks and then was really fighting it after that. I decided if I was going to indulge, having a small square of 85% dark chocolate or a cocktail was better than falling totally off the wagon. I was more dragging my feet off the wagon than anything, right?

Where I Excelled

I journaled my food, sleep, and exercise every single day! This has been an area I've struggled in the past, so I'm proud to have tracked everything.
I also did a meal plan every single week and prepared myself for success along the way. I've always done a loose menu for my family, but was much more deliberate in planning and adhering to said plan.
The weekends have turned into a meat cooking extravaganza so that we have no choice BUT succeeding in living this lifestyle. I find myself much more aware, connected, and appreciative of my food, my life, my body, and the people around me that help me continue to be the best ME!

I lost 10 pounds in the 30 days--all of it in the first two weeks. I found healing from chronic pain in my shoulders, hips, and knees. I've had increased mental clarity and am noticeably less stressed about things and people that I have no control over.

What Happens Now?

Well, nothing. This is my life--what a great realization to have had! I'll continue what I've been doing, but allowing a 10-20% area of "error" for things like birthdays and special occasions, but grateful that it's up to me to focus more on WHAT and WHO I'm celebrating more than viewing it as an excuse to eat junk. Why would I mark a special day by punishing my body?
I'll probably start by introducing some cheese back into my diet on Friday and see how that goes.

An incredible community has evolved in this lifestyle and I am thankful for each and everyone of you and your influence and encouragement as I continue in this journey!! Some of you really went out of your way to interact and answer questions and help me along these 30 days. I can't thank you enough!

These are just a few that I'd like to highlight and tell you that if you are interested in knowing more or learning what this is all about, they will be invaluable in your quest for betterment!

Thank you, Joe Petrusky at Crossfit Love in Philly for organizing this!
Also thanks to my husband at The Paleo Pulpit for FINALLY going all in with me, Diane at Balanced Bites, Brandon at The Paleo Experiment, The Lazy Caveman, Liz at CaveGirlEats, Scott Grice, Robb Wolf, Josee at Caveman Strong, Chris Kesser, John Durant at Hunter-Gatherer, and Melissa McEwen at Hunt.Gather.Love.

Finally, special thank you to other friends who have supported me in my pursuit for health and wellness all along. Gwyn, Jamie, Wendy, Amy at Super Healthy Kids, The Balanced, and of course, Sam at Kansas City Health and Performance. You are some of my greatest blessings.

Day 29: Winding Down The Challenge

2011-01-31T21:47:00.001-06:00

We are in the middle of another winter storm warning here. Today has
been the freezing rain portion. Tomorrow is the shit-ton of snow
portion. Wednesday is the windy bitchass cold cherry on the sundae.
As you can imagine I'm thrilled about all of this.

I have one more day left of the challenge and am looking forward to
info about reintroducing some things. I have no immediate plans to go
crazy. My menu for the the next week is the usual Paleo, and grocery
shopping is done. But Friday we have plans to have Papa Murphy's
pizza. I'm looking forward to it.

My plan was to go to the community center tomorrow for my workout, but
given the attack from bastard old man winter I'll be using my
husband's kettlebell at home instead. I'm ok with it.

Food for the day:

8:30 eggs, ham, spinach cooked in coconut oil, vits, coffee

1:00 I had been slow cooking a beef roast for dinner tonight and had
several bites--enough to consider a serving for sure. I also boiled
some eggs for deviled eggs and ate one of the boiled eggs.

3:00 handful of walnuts

6:30 beef roast, sweet potatoes w toasted almonds on top, zuchini, a
deviled egg, a ton of blueberries atop a tiny bit of gelatin w yogurt

My in-laws came over for dinner tonight. It was truly a pleasant
evening. I used to have them over a lot, but have kind of gotten out
of the habit since I started teaching again. I should get better about
it. I'd much rather have people at my dining room table than go out to
eat. I love feeding people good, real food.

Anyway, that's as chatty as I'm feeling today. Thanks for following
along. Be safe and warm!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 28: Had To Start Over

2011-01-30T20:05:00.001-06:00

I had originally written this post and got WAY off track, so am
starting over and saving the other for another blog entry not about
the Paleo Challenge. I also need to cool off and edit it when I'm in a
better mood and like people more. I've been reading lots of scripture
lately about the power of our words and keeping a rein on my mouth.
It gets me in trouble sometimes and I'm trying to change that.

SO, I did my own workout at the community center today. I was sort of
sad, because I love Sam's workouts so much and hate having to think of
what to do on my own. However, I'm a planner and want to really see
some big progress from myself in the next few months that I can
measure and really focus.

My plan today was to do laps on the track, alternating 2 sprinting
(which I can do a few times and then it turns to running then to
jogging then to slogging (slow-jogging)) with then picking up 2 of the
35# kettlebells and walking 2 lapss on the track. So each set would be
4 laps on the track. Make sense?
I got there and jogged 3 laps at a steady pace for a warm-up, then ran
as hard as I could for 2. I picked up my 70# and started walking. I
was only able to do this for 1 set (2 laps). I have an open blister
from kettlebelling last week and it was murder to hold the 70#. So I
switched to 50# for the other weighted laps.
I ended up doing this FIVE times. This means 10 laps sprinting/running
my hardest and 2 laps w 70# and 8 laps w 50#. I then walked a few
cooldown laps. On my way out I begged the receptionist to cut my
hands off with a butter knife. They hurt so much.
As I was doing my laps there was a beautiful (stunning!) gal wearing
paint on her skin that doubled as clothes (sarcasm). She maybe weighed
90# and every so often she'd jog a lap after walking a few and would
end panting and barely able to catch her breath.
The old me would have seen her and envied her figure and beauty. But
today I considered picking her scrawny ass up and carrying her around
on my shoulders for time. I was strong and powerful today and I didn't
care that I wasn't the thinnest or most attractive woman there.
I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Doing exactly what I was
supposed to do. That is a HUGE mental breakthrough for me.
My plan is to do this workout every Sunday this month, but time myself
from now on. Each time I intend to beat the previous length.

I slept like shit last night and hope to go to bed early tonight.

Food for the day:

8:30 sausage w leftover Paleo pancakes and a couple bites of fresh pineapple

12:30 out to lunch at Barley's--sweet potato fries and a salmon club
(grilled salmon, onion, tomato, bacon, lettuce, bread--I got rid of
half the bread (I know, not challenge approved)), unsweetened iced tea

4:00 ham and cuc slices

6:30 Paleo tacos (taco meat in lettuce leaf) and avocado, couple bites
of fresh pineapple, square of 85% dark choc

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 27: Easy Breezy

2011-01-29T18:20:00.001-06:00

Happy Kansas Day! We've been a state for 150 years! Clearly I have no
life since I find this so exciting.

It's a mellow day around here. We'll probably go to the park again for
some red light/green light. Mads and I did yesterday after school and
it was great to get some fresh air and move. Apparently more snow is
in our future next week, so I need to make the most of the barely
warmer weather today.

I thought I'd be chomping at the bit for the challenge to be so close
to over, but I'm realizing that this is how we've been living! So why
the desire for it to be over? I think I'm more tired of recording my
food and boring thoughts. It's been fairly minor adjustments to adhere
to the challenge guidelines and the benefits have been worth every bit
of "sacrifice."

Food for the day:

10ish: I didn't have an ACT workshop this morning, so we got to have
our usual Saturday family brunch. We love brunch in our home! I was in
the mood for something wrap-like, so in the food processor I put eggs,
raw almonds, pumpkin (not pie filling, just pumpkin), coconut oil,
pumpkin pie spice, and a lil water and pulverized it.
For my husband and I, this "pancake" served as a wrap, and for my kid
I added a few chocolate chips and it was pancakes.
On my wrap I had an egg, sausage, and kale.
Then I also ate strawberries and drank coffee.
I did have a bite of my kid's chocolate chip pancake. Heaven.

2:00 We went to the trail to play and I had some ham and cucumber
slices when we got back.

I was feeling like socializing and having a cocktail this afternoon,
but don't have any friends here who would have any interest in doing a
spur of the moment let's have a drink (I hate it!), so after feeling
sad I just took a nap.

5:00 But, I had a drink w dinner--tequila and club soda w 1/2 a lime.
Chicken breast and sauteed zuchini served on plate of salad w walnuts
and mushrooms (no dressing). My avocado wasn't quite ripe yet, so had
to go w/out.

Now it's time for watching some KU vs K State basketball and probably coffee.

I'm starting my new workout tomorrow afternoon w a visit to the
community center. It involves kettlebell and I'm super excited. I'll
include more details tomorrow.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 26: Pick Up Sticks?

2011-01-28T19:23:00.001-06:00

The title has no relevance whatsoever. I wanted to rhyme and that's as
much time as I cared to spend on it.

Today is a GREAT day!! I failed a little bit in the sleep department
by staying up too late (damn you, How I Met Your Mother reruns!), and
dragged a little getting out of bed. However, we had a prediction of
reaching 50 degrees today and I want to enjoy every second of it, and
it was the last day of this session of bootcamp, so I excitedly
started the day!

This may sound silly to some of you, but when I'm driving to workouts,
I always pray for strength and endurance to do my best. It helps put
me in a right mindset and focuses my energy. Today I prayed for a hard
workout from Sam and that I'd kick its ass. I was not disappointed.

From the start of the warm-up laps to the sprints at the end, I felt
stronger and lighter than I ever have. I still struggled a little with
the lunge rounds at the very end (my bitch left knee), but put forth
everything I had on the sprint portion (we were alternating sprints
and lunges for six rounds around the gym). I added a level of risers
on my box jumps and swung the 35# kettlebell like nothing.

It's hours later and I still feel high. I am so blessed. Thanks, God
and thanks, Sam! I really needed that today.

I'm pretty sure Maddie and I will go to the trail after school today
for some red light/green light...sunshine!

Food for the day:

7:45 a couple bites of kiwi and pineapple as I was cutting for my
daughter and for brunch tomorrow

8:15 eggs, ham, spinach, cooked in coconut oil, vits, coffee

1:00 time totally got away from me this morning and before I knew it
we were flying out the door for school. Maddie eats lunch right when
she gets to school, so I don't have to think about feeding her, so
often I forget to think about feeding me as well. I had to pick up a
few things at Hen House Market after I dropped the kid off and had
some time before class, so I got some roasted chicken breast strips,
unbreaded, no skin, just meat, from the deli. I was kicking myself,
because I have that very thing in my freezer at home, already cooked.
I just didn't plan.

In evaluating my food journal from the last few weeks, I see that I
was eating three solid meals a day those first couple weeks. I was
diligent about getting plenty of healthy fats in each meal and slept a
TON. When school's going, I eat considerably less and had gotten lax
about the fat. My experiment for the next wk is to increase my protein
and fat intake from where it's been the last couple weeks and see what
the scale thinks of that.

This is all about much more than energy balance, folks. Calories in
being less than calories out is not always the bottom line for weight
loss. If you take anything away from reading this today, I hope it's
that.

If you've struggled with weight loss, educate yourself. I'd love to
point you toward some great resources. And pray for wisdom and
guidance to find what will work for you, so that you can be the best
YOU that God created you to be!!

6:00 Had a date night w husband; we decided to save our money and just
eat at home since I'm a better cook and we are still in the challenge.
We made salads: greens, bacon, walnuts, mushrooms, cucs, small amt
shredded carrot and purple cabbage, avocadon coconut oil.

I'll prolly have some coffee this evening and that'll be it. I'm kinda
tired and hoping to go to the community center tomorrow.

Love and good health to you all!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 25: I'm Alive

2011-01-27T18:27:00.000-06:00

I'm grateful for the sunshine today (even though it's still cold winter). It's a little too cold to drag my daughter around the trail again, so I decided to redeem my free two months of membership certificate at the community center before the childcare area closed this morning. It is a really nice facility and I'm always surprised by the kindness and friendly attitude of everyone that works there.

I wasn't really interested in a hard workout today, but in just being alone with my thoughts and moving a little. So I dropped Maddie off in the kids' area and walked a brisk 45 minutes on the track. I made the mistake of wearing my old sneakers because I'm tired of winter boots. I don't know how I used to stand wearing these tennis shoes! It felt like they were shaped for another person's feet and made the simple act of walking uncomfortable. When I go back on Saturday I'll definitely wear my other gym shoes.

Tomorrow is the last day of this session of bootcamp. Monday will start a new month. I think I finally decided that I will do some work on my own for the month of February. However, Fridays are typically more "intense" days in bootcamp, so I will stick with going once a week on that day and my own plan, which I'll post more on soon, the rest of the time. These winter mornings are hell for me. I know I sound like a whiny bitch, but I DREAD getting up when it's dark and cold, and I'm a morning person! I LOVE mornings and am that annoying person who is chipper and happy to be awake as soon as they get out of bed. But, winter is my kryptonite (is that even how you spell it?). So, getting up at 4:30 in the morning three days a week in the dark of winter is making me hate working out. Obviously quitting working out isn't an option, so I need to figure out something that will work until this bastardy old man winter moves along.

I'll try it for a month and see how it goes. I expect that the increased numbers in bootcamp will level off soon so we won't have to start each month back at square one for the new folks. My husband and I discussed the possibility of me doing Sam's summer training with him for more intensity this summer, but are skeptical of our daughter being old enough to handle it yet. Summer training happens at a park and I imagine our kid would be a pain in the butt while we would be trying to do workout. We'll see....

Enough rambling! The 30 days are almost over!! Not much will change, except I'm gonna try eating cheese first. I thought I missed peanuts a lot, but have gotten over that. I also thought I'd die without popcorn, but have held firm and been fine. But, the cheese. String cheese was an easy go-to snack for me. I also love eggs and greens with a little cheese on top. And, of course, my dark chocolate. Mmmm...I think I read somewhere that today was national chocolate cake day?

Food for the day:

8:00 a breakfast sausage and apple and almond butter

11:45 salad w lettuce, ham, cucs, tomatoes, olives, no dressing

5:30 salmon cooked in coconut oil, zuchini, spinach, small square of 85% dark chocolate and coffee (I haven't had any today and Justin brewed a fresh pot when he got home)

I've been having a bit of an email chat with Sam today and did a little picking apart of my food the last 25 days. I am down another two pounds (FOUR pounds from 100 lost), but saw a steady decline at the beginning of the Paleo Challenge and the last couple weeks have stayed the same. He suggested I take a look at those first weeks and see what's different from now. Duh--why didn't I think of that? I've done an initial look through and will do more tonight and post tomorrow. But I say this because I'm going to have a planned snack tonight.

8:00 tuna, walnuts, coconut oil, and my Natural Calm

Day 24: PS

2011-01-26T22:07:00.001-06:00

I drank my Natural Calm and relaxed for a while and really was
genuinely hungry. So I had a can of tuna w some walnuts and coconut
oil stirred in.

Thank you and goodnight.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 24: No More. Please.

2011-01-26T20:15:00.001-06:00

I'm officially done with winter. Dark and cold are two things I
dislike in the morning.

However, workout was good this morning. It started out a little slow
(in that I wasn't sweating or needing to push myself much), but then
ended up good and hard with 35# kettlebell swinging, skipping rope,
push-ups, and running laps. LOVE LOVE LOVED it and wanted to do about
8 more rounds.

I'm glad we are getting new people to join bootcamp, but it stinks
slowing things down.

Anyway, I'm ready for this challenge to be over. I like living Paleo
80-90 % of the time, but realize I'm not at a point of strict 100%
compliance. After these 30 days are up, maybe I'll do this quarterly?
Meh, we'll see. Anyone care to join me if/when I do it again?

Food for the day:

7:15 apple and almond butter, 2 hard boiled eggs, coffee, vits

12:30 handful raw almonds, small pce of leftover steak (about the size
of my thumb)

4:45 (have a workshop on campus tonight, so I have to eat early)
chicken leg, another thumb sized pce of my leftover steak, hard boiled
eggs, little bit of leftover zuchini

6:00 coffee that I brought to workshop

I'm about to head home from campus and want a friggen burger! That
just means I'm tired. Whenever I crave junk after dark this means I
need to go to bed. But I really am kind of hungry, junk craving aside.
Prolly just gonna have some Natural Calm when I get home and that'll
be that.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 23: Weeeee!

2011-01-25T18:36:00.001-06:00

ONE week left!

It was a wonderful day of sunshine today. That is fresh air for my
soul. I love sun and being outside. I secretly hope that something in
our future calls us to move further South. I can't stand winter. Never
have enjoyed it (well, except for going ice-fishing with my friends
when I was in college). I especially disliked it once I had a child.
Bundling up and lugging stuff and people around is silly. And a pain
in the ass.

Anyway, it was sunny today, so I took my kid to a trail this afternoon
and dragged her around for a couple miles by skipping and running and
playing red light/green light and doing bear crawls and crabwalks. We
had rosy noses and smiles when we got home. I LOVE moving in the
outdoors!

I had planned to go activate my community center membership today, but
didn't get around to it while the childcare was still open. What will
be nice is to have a little more flexibility in my workouts for a few
weeks.

I'm fighting feelings of agitation today by just keeping my mouth shut
and thinking on lovely, praiseworthy things. I'm not really sure it's
working, but I haven't done or said anything I've regretted, so we're
heading in the right direction, right?

Food for the day:

9:00 turkey, avocado, apple, almond butter, coffee, vits

1:45 leftover spinach onion burger on lettuce, hard boiled egg

5:30 steak, chicken (both sounded good and I couldn't decide, so I had
some of each), zuchini

I am craving some homebaked cookies in a big way. Good thing I have
none of the ingredients on hand...except butter and eggs. The rest of
the week is sort of busy and while it's nice to be distracted
sometimes, I tend to feel disconnected and don't like that. Anyhoo,
never give up, right?!

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 22: Fumbling To The Finish Line

2011-01-24T19:29:00.001-06:00

I'm kind of failing all over the place today.
I got up for bootcamp and hit the remote start on the jeep, started to
get ready, but was FREEZING. So I got back into bed just to warm up
for a minute...and...fell asleep until 8:30. Luckily the remote
starter has a 10 minute timer, so it just shuts off. Aside from my
guilt, I felt like a trillion bucks when I got up for the day!

This has been kind of a big struggle for me in this journey--getting
enough rest AND managing my stress level. I find when I'm getting
enough rest, the stress mostly takes care of itself. When I'm lacking
sleep and under stress, the scale does NOT budge. A key aspect of
Paleo living is getting at least eight hours of good sleep each night
and keeping stress in check (read up on cortisol and other stress
related problems--it's very interesting).

That's why I'm thinking about switching up exercise for a month or so...

Food for the day:

9:00 bacon, turkey, cucumber slices

11:30 I was working on lesson plans at a coffee shop and I failed and
got a blueberry scone. I heart scones, plus tax. I make THE best mocha
dark chocolate scones, but never do because I lose all sensibilities
around scones...as evidenced by ordering one w my coffee. It was
delightful and I loved it. Sorry, Paleo challenge.

4:00 hard boiled egg, apple, almond butter

6:30 spinach onion beef burgers (mixed a load of chopped spinach and
onions in the ground beef) wrapped in lettuce w fried onions on top
(heaven in my mouth; I had been craving burgers for a couple days)

7:30 coffee and small square of 85% dark chocolate (yeah, the
challenge wheels are falling off ;-)

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 21: Blah Blah

2011-01-23T20:32:00.001-06:00

Happy Sunday, everyone! It's another busy day here, but God is good
and I am beyond blessed, so how can I do anything but smile?

I slept so well and got up around 7:45. Two Sundays a month I teach
preschool aged Sunday school at our church before service. I have to
be there by 8:45, so I didn't really allow enough time for fixing any
breakfast, BUT I did throw a beef roast in the crockpot before I went
out the door so lunch would be ready when we got home at noon (and I'd
be starving).

Here's where I'm struggling today: it's my husband's grandma's 87th
birthday party this afternoon. Last night my mother-in-law said she
was baking TWO cakes for nine people. And ice cream and whatevers. As
I previously mentioned, I don't love cake, BUT, when you haven't had
anything sweet for three weeks, gum from the underside of a school
desk seems appealing now and then.

We're on our way there as I type this and I am armed with a big cup of
hot black coffee and we'll see if I have anything or not....

Food for the day:

Do I have to count communion?

12:15: beef roast and green beans

2:00 coffee

3:30 birthday cake and a tiny tinnny maybe 1/4 scoop of ice cream (
yeah, fail, I know)

6:30 bacon and eggs, 1/2 cup coffee

8:00 apple and almond butter

Tonight I boiled up a bunch of eggs and cooked a couple pounds of
bacon and packaged up some breakfasts for my husband. Usually I pack
his lunch for the following day when I'm fixing dinner for our family,
but then he skips breakfast a lot. He'd like to lose another 20 lbs or
so and I think he'd benefit from increasing his protein, so I've been
trying to find ways to make that happen. It's sort of fun to
experiment.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 20 P.S.

2011-01-22T21:15:00.001-06:00

We stopped at Culver's on our way home and I was HUNGRY so I ordered a
cashew chicken salad w no dressing (and water).

Now we're heading the rest of the way home from Osage City. I'm a lil tired.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 20: Celebrate Life

2011-01-22T19:22:00.001-06:00

I had a workshop on campus this morning and wasn't hungry when I woke
up. I slept sooo good and felt awesome this morning.

9:00 coffee at workshop

12:00 couple slices of turkey when I got home; going out to lunch in
an hour, but kinda hungry.

1:15 (great lunch w our pastor and his wife at a Greek restaurant)
grilled chicken and a Greek salad (greens, cucs, green peppers,
olives, tomato), lemon water

5:00 We went to a farewell party in Osage City for Justin's cousin
Danny at Lucky's Bar (he's going to Africa for a year in his role in
military police). Soooo, a gathering at a bar w Kansas BBQ...here's
how I did: pulled pork (no bun or added sauce), cole slaw, andddd 3
tequila club sodas. It was so fun to see Justin's uncle and cousin
play music together and other in-laws we rarely are able to see.
Dancing. Laughing.
What a fun time.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 19: Are We There Yet?

2011-01-21T20:41:00.001-06:00

So, it's been a stressful week and while I'm glad it's Friday, I'd be
really glad if I could have a cocktail and some dark chocolate. There
may be a cheat this evening. We are going to some tasting party thing
and though I'll eat a Paleo dinner right before we go, I'm not sure
I'll be strong enough for the temptation.

I've said to my husband that living Paleo is pretty easy when you
don't have much of a life. So we have that going for us!

Food for the day:

9:30 eggs, leftover beef, ton of spinach (all thrown together and
cooked in coconut oil), coffee, vits

4:00 turkey and sunflower seeds

5:30 stir-fry (chicken breast, broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, onion)

7:15 The tasting party was fun and I didn't go bonkers, though I did
cheat a little. I had some fresh vegs that I dipped in guac and a
tomato sauce made w crushed tomatoes and herbs, chicken breast chunks
that had been cooked in a grape seed oil/herb mix, my "cheats" were: 3
bites of bread--1 dipped in grape seed oil and 2 plain, the other
cheat was a few bites of chocolate mousse. The chocolate was
incredible and just enough to tide me over for the next 12 days, I
think.

My brain is FRIED. G'night.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 18: On Lockdown

2011-01-20T18:41:00.001-06:00

We just got a load of snow, so there's no chance of going anywhere
today. Mostly I'm fine with that, but something about knowing I CAN'T
go makes me cagey.

I slept like a log and nearly bounced out of bed around 8:00 this
morning, feeling great. Unfortunately, my ass is broken from squat
overload at yesterday's bootcamp. It's a good pain, that I haven't had
in a while, so I'm "savoring" it. I love doing squat intervals almost
as much as skipping rope and lifting heavy things (which is a lot, in
case you never bothered to ask or don't know me).

Food for the day:

I got busy doing stuff with Maddie and finally made some brunch around 10:30.
Eggs, bacon, spinach, avocado, vits, coffee

2:30 hard-boiled egg and a chicken leg (you're welcome for the rhyme)

5:30 spareribs and asparagus

--
Sent from my mobile device

Day 17: Snow And Shit

2011-01-19T20:14:00.001-06:00

We are in the midst of another winter storm here and I'm trying to be
optimistic in thinking this should be our last snow fall of the
season, according to the weather prophet, Gary Lezak. He predicted our
snowfall for the winter to be 13 inches. This combined with the one
just last week puts us a little above that, so he better phone it in
to God that Kansas has fulfilled their wintry obligations!

Workout was good and hard this morning. The thing I like and don't
like about bootcamp is that each session is sort of progressive. The
begining (why can I NEVER remember if that has 1 or 2 n's?! And can't
spell check via phone) of the month starts out "easier" and gets
harder each week. This was great when I was new! But now that I'm
really wanting to amp things up consistently, I feel like I tread
water with slight improvements toward the ends of the month. Anyway,
we'll see what happens. I've been doing some research on my own and
tinkering around with some ideas for if I take a month or 2 off of
bootcamp to do my own thing.

My extreme fatigue was far less of an issue this morning. I felt
pretty ok when I woke up, despite staying up until after 11:00 working
through some stuff with the hubs. I'm scheduled to have stuff on
campus all the way until 8:00 tonight, but expect the snow will change
that.

Food for the day:

Nothing sounds good to me and I'm not hungry AT ALL. I don't think I
could even force myself to eat this morning.

7:30 coffee and vits (I know it seems ridiculous to take vitamins with
coffee, but I seriously would barf if I take them with anything else.
I have a couple NASTY tasting supplements that are only tolerable when
cancelled out by coffee taste.

9:45 I made myself eat some turkey on our way out the door (and packed
some cashews in my bag) since I won't be home until 3:00 at the
earliest. Simply fuel today, not enjoyable.

1:00 cashews

5:00 (spent TWO hours after class trying to get home!) 1 hard boiled egg

6:30 everything was cancelled for us tonight and thankfully I had
tilapia fillets ready in the fridge, bc I figured that would happen. I
really considered ordering pizza, but instead Justin and I rolled
cooked/chopped spinach up in the fillets and did some Greek seasoning
and olive oil drizzle to bake them. YUM! We had the tilapia bundles
with steamed green beans and avocado. It looked beautiful and I
totally forgot to take a picture to Tweet!

8:30 apple and almond butter

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