the Dolphin Free

Nexus One: The Conclusion

2010-03-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

So in case you live in a hollowed out rock in someone's closet and have not heard... I FINALLY got my Nexus One. Sadly, the big G did not send me one for free but I did manage to sell off most of the items in my home to raise the funds to pay cash in full.... kinda. I may or may not have put the whole purchase on my brother in law's credit card, which some how made it in to my possession. I admit I was curious to see how long it would take for him to notice this rather large purchase and the line item "Google Nexus One" on his statement. It was much quicker than I had expected. Three days. Yep, three days is all it took, at which point I sadly was obligated to pay him the cash amount for the purchase.
You can be assured that I will be back in action on the blog now as my fundraising quest has ended... for now...

Lindsay needs a punch in the face

2010-03-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard (and don't ask me where I heard because I do not remember), Lindsay Lohan is suing ETrade over their Super Bowl commercial. The commercial I'm talking about is the one where the stock trading baby has a laaaaady baby over who asks about a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay. From what I remember reading, Lindsay says she is the baby since they have the same name and many celebrities are only known by one name. Seriously?!? Lindsay, I want to punch you in the face right now. I am going out on a limb here but I am pretty sure you are not the only one named Lindsay on Earth. Also, WTF is a milkholic anyway? Maybe it just means you have super strong bones. Google this shiz and see for yourself, Lindsay needs a punch in the face.. Here is the video in question

My Nexus One Saga Continues...

2010-03-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that lately there hasn't been much going on here at the Dolphin Free for the past few months. For that, you can blame Google. When they announced the Nexus one in January I have spent the majority of my time plotting to get my hands on one. I think at this point it is needless to say I still don't friggen have one, but I do continue to plot. About a week or two ago Mashable ran a contest on their Buzz account to give a way two of these phones.
I used that opportunity to sum up my efforts thus far in my never ending epic quest to get a Nexus One. The following is the actual entry I submitted to Mashable. SPOILER ALERT: I didn't win shit.

Well Mashable it's like this:

I followed the development of the Android OS for what seemed like forever prior to it's launch. I was constantly calling T-Mobile USA asking for news and driving my wife nuts with how frequently I brought it up.

So, the G1 gets released... and I have to work. Lucky for me I've convinced my wife to go wait in line to pick mine up on launch day (FTW). Loved it. First thing I do is start showing it off around the office and to my friends. Now I am talking my friends and family into getting this phone too, my brother, mother in law, father in law, their two children, 5 or 6 friends, all of them go out and get a G1. I start blogging about Android and how sweet it is then BOOM, the MyTouch is announced. I chat it up with my wife and decide that she likes my G1 so I will give it to her and get a MyTouch for me (or maybe I just picked one up, set up the G1 for my wife, and hid her Blackberry... can't remember).

Things are awesome right about now. Me and my peeps, we are all on Latitude, Google Talking each other up sharing ridiculous Google voice mails. I get a lot of questions on how to do this and that, I share new apps with everyone, I even set up a help desk for my friends and family to ask me Android questions and give them personal tutorials whenever they need. My wife even blogs about how I lay in bed with my phone, just staring at the screen. Life is good.

Fast forward to the release of the Droid. Now the rest of my friends are getting in on the Android action, oh yeah, this is gonna be sweet! Then, what's this... Android 2.0!? Awesome!! Can't wait till I get it. What? T-Mobile is not likely bringing it to my phone, they are not talking about it.... hrmm. How am I supposed to continue to be this Super Android Guy and help all my friends and family if their phones are better than mine... BETTER THAN MINE! That's crazy! There can only be one Super Android Guy!

Nexus One: Me waiting for the announcement of this phone, with all it's hype, was like pumping a toddler full of sugar on Christmas eve and telling them to go to sleep. Then, they show it, in all it's beauty and speed and 2.1-ey-ness, and I decide I must have one. What?!?! People on T_Mobile family plans get no discount...whaaaaaaaa!?!?! I work in Non-Profit... I can't swing that sticker price! Noooooooo! The devastation and disappointment fell upon me like the weight of a thousand sea gulls.

What now? I need a plan, yeah a plan will help me get a Nexus One! OK, think... oh! Maybe I will try to cancel my T-Mobile contract and get a new one... no that won't work, one of my lines is still under contract. Oh! I'll write HTC and ask for a freebie because I am "generally awesome". Dang it! With out denying my level of general awesomeness, they said they do not have a program to give out free Nexus Ones... grrr. OK, ummm. Oh! I'll write Google complaining about not being able to get to the phone "purchase screen" and suggest they just send me a free phone becasue it would probably be easier than fixing the under lying issue (that not being able to get to the "phone purchase screen" was true, but interestingly, it was remedied WITHOUT a free Nexus One being sent my way). Oh! I can follow @Jason on Twitter, he says he is giving a few away... AHHHHHHH... too... many... tweets... must... un...follow....ahhh! Well, I guess it is time to just start selling off my stuff in a fundraising effort. What?!?! Since when are Dragonball toys only worth 4 dollars a piece... sigh...

So here I am, a shell of a once revered Super Android Guy, able to answer questions and help anyone in a single finger swipe, now out classed in tech by my friend Heather who doesn't even know the notification bar on her Droid pulls down like a window shade... please help.

Cheers

As I have said before, I will get this phone, one way, or another.

(sounds diabolical right?) (muhahahahahahahaha!)(wmhm)

Seriously...ladies...

2010-02-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

Blondes, this is why the world keeps picking on you. I know it's not fair, it looks really fun too I agree. I'm just saying maybe you should get an escalator in your home and do this kind of stuff behind closed doors.

Cute Blonde Escalator Spin Trick - Watch more Funny Videos

What is going on here?

2010-02-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

DUUUUDES!!!
I found the following animated gif online and I need your help deciphering what the crap is happening here.

Ummm yeah... what do you think?
Also, is he wearing a mask?

Google Buzz

2010-02-09T12:11:00.001-07:00

I have been waiting for Google to do something like this, and I think Gmail is the right place to put it! I think will be very cool! What do you think?

Pugsley's New Trick

2010-02-06T17:15:00.001-07:00

Check out Pugsley's new trick, where he delicately removes a hair tie from the back of my wife's head (then I hit her with the camera).

Getting Organized

2010-02-02T18:25:00.002-07:00

Shit you not. I was just able to sort ALL of my T-shirts by the following categories: plain/ringer tees, video games, and jolly rogers.
Sweet.

Bat Face

2010-02-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Na na na nan na na na na na Baaaaat Faaaace!

Take a minute and look at this picture.
I have some questions & comments about it.

How did this man not manage to get his hands up? The older lady, the balding gentleman in front, even the FREAKING BABY, managed to prepare at least some form of defense to this attack, but not him.
Speaking of the baby, I notice dad has moved a comfortable distance away from the bat yet seems to be stiff arming the child on his lap towards the incoming projectile. Too bad his sleeveless shirt didn't come with any balls.
Look at the lady in the pink tank top. Do you think she choked on whatever she was eating once she realized that she had almost been killed? Is her friend next to her trying to block the bat with a nacho tray or is she shoveling them down her throat unaware of the impending threat?
To the lady on the top right: That is an ineffective blocking position. You whole face is exposed. Take a cue from the kid below you.
The guy drinking the beer in the black shirt has an expression that just screams, "Heh, that sucks. Shoulda ducked pal".
Finally, what is the ginger in the front row looking at? She looks so cocky and smug, I bet she knew the bat was coming all along. Creepy.

Original image:
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kx4m70Qscm1qadzmoo1_500.jpg

Video Texting - NOT Sexting (that's gross)

2010-01-25T19:42:00.001-07:00

DUDES!!! Let me tell you about why you're about to be seeing my face on your phone a whole lot more. "Video Texting" or "vexting" as I am dubbing it right now, is when instead of typing out an 'LOL' or sending a ";)" you send a video instead! EPIC! Yes, yes, ya'll, now you can send texts without even typing! Save your thumbs for things you're gonna need, like hitch hiking rides to the deli so you can get your fat ass a sandwich! BOOM! Since so many phones now come with the ability to send and receive MMS (thanks for coming to the party iPhone, better late than never I guess...) why bother typing at all?!?! Now I know that some of you clowns are all like "But hey, I don't want people to see my face on a video and I'm totally not gonna send one to a friend either!" We'll lady with an annoyingly high voice (in my head people... I know you can't hear anything), to that I say thbbttttt! What about sending a vext with someone or something else's face and your voice? (See video)

Your friends will think "OMG that's like a talking dog! When did you teach your dog to talk?" and you can say "OMG! I taught him Tuesday...and if you forward the message to 100 friends you get a free Nintendo Wii from Microsoft!" Oh and for people who's phones don't support video messaging, well are you really sure you want to be friends with someone still rocking tech from the1990's...I mean COME ON! What, do they fax still too?!?!?!? You know who still sends faxes and and don't have phones with video... terrorists. I'm serious though, vexting is gonna be very popular whether you want it to be or not, so you might as well just embrace it. Now run along a go vext all your peeps right now...oh, and someone send me a vext of someone actually ROTFL... I still don't believe that shit ever happens.

Link Dump

2010-01-19T20:42:00.001-07:00

Here are just a bunch of links I think you should check out. Enjoy.

Sly Dog
Disgusted Face
I Breastfeed my Dog
Personal Ad Win
Gingers Do Have Souls
Nate Keading's Attempted Suicide According to Wikipedia
No words can describe this link

Have any links of your own to share or thoughts on what you just saw? Sound off in the comments.

Books vs Video Games

2010-01-14T18:12:00.006-07:00

Video games are no different than books, in fact, they are actually better. I often have this conversation with my wife. She will be reading somewhere in the house, puts her book down, sees me playing some video games, and starts to give me shit. I always reply, "video games are the same as books". She disagrees, we go back and forth for a minute, and she walks away defeated. [side note: I typically win all the arguments in this house, it's just how I roll.] Well I got to thinking about it the other night and decided it is probably time I shared this fact with everyone so people will quit wasting time with books.

Both books and video games contain a story. When you read a book you are typically reading a story, when you play a video game you typically play a story. There's a plot, characters, climatic points, slow parts, and an ending. Both contain 'written words'. Obviously books contain words, but a little known fact is that ALL video games do too. Think about it, there is the title screen, the menu, the options, and the instruction manual (it's like 2 books in one then huh?). A lot of games go even further by adding captions and subtitles to the narration. Even if you disagree saying "you're not 'reading' a story", I say the imagery in video games achieves the same goal and does it in a far more effective fashion. How many times have you needed to re-read something to make sure you understand it? "Was Malfoy alone when he tried to kill Dumbledore or was Harry there?" Compare that to a video game, "did that dude's head just explode...yep" No confusion there, you just saw it happen. What about being immersed? "Oh I am just so immersed in this new book..." Try talking to me while I play Socom. You can't, cause I'm immersed. Plot lines have become increasingly deep in today's video games. There are just as many twists and turns in Uncharted 2 as there are in Twilight (not to mention less shiny gay vampires). Plus, in a book you do not get to control what happens to the main character. You read the book and it unfolds as planned. In a video game you have a choice, even if somewhat limited. Am I going to continue the mission and beat the end boss, or am I going to steal this car and run over pedestrians? Talk about immersed, does the fate of the character in your book hinge on any of your actions? I think not, and since I have seen any "Choose you own Adventure" books in a long time I am giving the nod to video games on that one. Finally, what about stimulation? What's the most stimulation you can get out of a book? Maybe a little emotion, perhaps you get a paper cut from turning pages, that's about it. What about video games? Emotional, tactile, auditory, visual... shit sometimes you can even taste the defeat when you have your ass handed to you. Not to mention that many games now have a seizure warning on the title screen (which you have to read). That's right, so much stimulation you just might have a seizure. Can your book do that?

Trust me, you are wasting your time with books. Go pick up a controller and truly immerse yourself in a story that both titillates and stimulates your mind and body.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to cuddle up in a Snuggie with a cup of hot coco and read a good video game.

The Brain Trust on Google Wave

2010-01-12T23:55:00.003-07:00

Last month some of us thought we would start a Google wave to brain storm "get rich quick" ideas...

As you can tell, we will be very rich soon (and don't steal my poison hair spray idea).

Firefox Logo

2010-01-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

This picture of Gemma preparing to sink her teeth into an unsuspecting, albeit undeniably deserving shitzu... TOTALY looks like the Firefox logo!

New: Free Advice

2010-01-05T23:28:00.001-07:00

(Too many pairs of sun glasses)

In the spirit of giving things away for free, I/we now offer free advice. You can either click the link above or tweet your questions to @dolphin_free and we'll provide some you with some sweet advice.
Spread the word! Our advice is the best you'll get (by our standards of course).

All advice is offered "for what it's worth"

Dolphin Free on Twitter

Google Nexus One - WTF

2010-01-05T22:00:00.002-07:00

Anyone who knows me, or has read this blog, or has overheard me talking about my phone, or seen me wearing my sweet Dork Forest shirt could probably tell you three things, 1- I am into tech, and 2- I use Google for everything, and 3- I love my phone. I literally walk around town talking about Android in general and I have enjoyed watching the contacts in my Google Talk list acquire little android robots next to their names, as I talk them into new Android phones! Well, when I started hearing rumors about Google possibly launching their own phone I was intrigued. Then, shortly after that I started to see spy cam shots of this alleged phone, followed by some video and leaked specs and... wow, it was all I could talk about forweeks (ask my wife, thought she was gonna kill me). Then, Engadget gets one sent to them (in the friggen mail) and today Mashable received one too. Turns out Fred at A VC had one the whole friggen time! I know what your thinking, "well how's yours?" I KNOW! That's what I was thinking too! My phone must be sitting at home in a cute little box just waiting to be unwrapped by me! Guess what? It wasn't. I know, I am sad too, but as I fought back the tears I remembered hearing the Nexus one phone would also be subsidized for use on T-Mobile (hey, that's my network). So I go to google.com/phone to check out subsidized rates and... WTF?!?

Here are the rates for the Nexus One (copied from Google's pricing page):

"You can choose to purchase the Nexus One from the Google Phone Webstore without service for $529 USD, or with a qualifying T-Mobile US service plan at a discounted price:

Nexus One without service: $529
Nexus One with new, 2-year T-Mobile US service plan for new customers: $179
Nexus One with new, 2-year T-Mobile US service plan for qualifying existing T-Mobile customers who are adding data plans: $279
Nexus One with new, 2-year T-Mobile US service plan for qualifying existing T-Mobile customers who are upgrading their data plans: $379

Please note, the Google Phone Webstore will automatically check your new or upgraded service plan eligibility if you choose to purchase your phone with service. If you have questions about your service plan eligibility, please contact T-Mobile for more information."

OK seems straight forward... wow that plan sucks, but that should not apply to me because I am on a family plan.
Guess what homies... turns out Family Plans don't qualify. Yep, Google hates family. OK, that's totally not true, but seriously WTF? So if I wanted this phone (which I friggen do), then I would need to pay $529 (which I friggen can't).
Son of a bitch Google, this is the first time you have ever made a product, that I wanted, vastly outside of my price range, I do not like where you are going here. I am not completely arguing that $529 for a sweet ass phone is outlandish, but it is to me, and I have already bought two of your other Android phones (G1 & MT3G). Obviously, you've got some extra change, at least enough to throw a handful of these devices out for free... to people who probably could of afforded them at full price (but I get the marketing strategy). i heard once that you want to be revolutionary, to be ground breaking. Why not make a pony that breathes fire (awesome)?!?!? That would be revolutionary, that would be ground breaking. Selling a $529 phone with weak subsidies and bad plans, is not.

This is a sad day for me as ~~an eccentric Google Fan boy~~ an avid Google supporter, admitting that I am disappointed in.. neigh, pissed at you, is a huge thing for me. Shit, I have even publicly defended iGoogle social. As upset as I am with you, at you, with not having $529 to drop on a whim, I am still going try to get one of these phones. Whether through trying to save, take donations, some super shady rate plan line dropping and re adding and fan-dangling with my current plan, or through more sinister means remains to be seen.
All I am saying Google is WTF?

FTC Disclosure: I didn't get shit for this post. Thought I made that pretty clear.

Hot Water Prank

2010-01-04T16:44:00.001-07:00

I love Japanese pranks the best. I hope this dude won some cash...

Blog Away

2009-12-29T22:52:00.001-07:00

I just got a new app for my Android phone called Blog Away. Basically, it looks like I can go back to blogging from the bathrooms! Not that I couldn't before but now I have an app dedicated to it. Heh.
Ps. This dog is not ours.

AVG Free vs. Microsoft Security Essentials

2009-12-28T18:00:00.002-07:00

I received an email today with a good question about which anti virus software is better. Figured it would be best if I shared my wealth of knowledge with everyone not just the asker (pops).

Q:
I have AVG Free.

Mom has Windows Security Essentials.

What is the difference and why one or the other and etc.?

Darth-
You are unnecessarily concerned about this. Mom has MSE because when when the Storm Troopers hit her laptop with that stray blaster shot I ended up needing to uninstall her antivirus (AVG). I put MSE on because it was shiny new and I wanted to see what it was like. I have it running on 2 of my computers at home and so far Obi and I like it. Really not much difference between it and AVG as far as I can tell though. MSE has malware protection (which might be good for you considering gargantuan amount of software you install on your computers), but both do about the same thing and are low on system resources, Sand People, Banthas, etc. So, in summation, DON"T DO ANYTHING. Let's just wait and see what happens with MSE.
Hope that helps... (it helps) <----- mind trick
PS I am making you an admin on the Dolphin Free Facebook Fan page. Please post funny shit there or consider me disappointed forever (visualize me force chocking you right now...grrrrrr).
Suck it,
Luke

I try to be helpful, but often find I prefer to be... well...

Chinese Man Throws Bicycle at Thieves on Scooter!

2009-12-28T16:22:00.002-07:00

In case you missed this... The 2 guys on the scooter stole a woman's purse and the dude on the bike...well.. he wrecks them. Awesome. Here is my question: The dude who threw the bike is obviously a Superhero, but, what should his Superhero name be? Leave your ideas in the comments.

Cat slaps dog while riding Roomba... yep.

2009-12-21T13:02:00.002-07:00

'Move B*tch Get Out The Way!" Desperate House CAT on Roomba Driver Bitch Slaps a Dog pit bull Sharky'

Maybe I need a cat to keep the pugs in check...

BRAD PERRY HOCKEY

2009-12-16T18:07:00.003-07:00

Sick Hands. Nice find @DJHamm1

Brickfish Social Media: Doo

2009-12-13T12:17:00.001-07:00

Brickfish Social Media: Doo

My wife has entered our dog into some kind of contest. Please take a look at his picture and tell me that is not the most cognitively impaired dog you have ever seen. Obviously he needs some support. Please vote for him and share his link with all your Twitter and Facebook friends. He would appreciate it if he weren't too dumb to know what was going on.

Sore Knees

2009-12-11T11:38:00.003-07:00

Click on the picture to read the license plate in front of me.

I wonder why...

Did you hear that?

2009-12-10T16:42:00.003-07:00

Everyone overhears people saying ridiculous stuff all the time. "Overheard Everywhere" puts it all in one place. The site is simple and easy to digest, even proving a way to submit the ridiculousness you might overhear. The site is definitely worth poking around on.
in reference to: http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/ (view on Google Sidewiki)