tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84024272024-08-27T08:23:39.834-05:00<P>&nbsp;<P> lowering my standards since 1975Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.comBlogger627125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-25462862249912050322010-05-17T15:03:00.001-05:002010-05-17T15:05:09.208-05:00

Coming 11/11/10

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-21301935919021467192008-10-04T16:10:00.009-05:002008-10-06T16:42:46.941-05:00

And they lived happily ever after.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-49495713807498916662007-08-30T09:09:00.001-05:002007-08-30T09:49:35.176-05:00

Now THAT was a party! People I haven't seen in years, all in the same room, for little ole me. LOVE IT! And, guess who limited herself to three drinks over 5+ hours and had lots and lots of water and is living a blissfully hangover-free, embarrassing-photo-free existence today. Give up? It's me! Go me! And, it was still fun! And I still have money leftover! This new sobriety thing is the shit.I

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-12042742522332826452007-08-27T11:50:00.000-05:002007-08-27T13:40:49.091-05:00

When I started this blog three years ago, my life was completely different.Then, I was a copywriter content to fly under the radar, with a lot of free time on my hands and the desperate need for a creative outlet. Now, I'm a creative director starting a new job in a new place with a lot of new responsibilities. Then, I was the perpetual single girl, unlucky in love, a slew of hilariously bad

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-7133435369065505762007-08-27T10:06:00.000-05:002007-08-27T12:18:23.492-05:00

Nice, relaxing weekend. Got the little desk all sanded and primed. Watched Super Troopers. Brother's wife had a baby.!!!!!!!!Welcome to the world, little Logan![This is where I would put a photo if anyone in my family loved me enough to send one.][[Also, no one has bothered to tell me his middle name. Jerks.]]PS Happy birthday to said brother and also my sis Amy, who both turned 30 this weekend.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-59645416165837389402007-08-23T14:50:00.000-05:002007-08-23T14:53:52.264-05:00

Last night I got drunk and flashed everybody I work with.They are really going to miss me around here.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-67545299837082779692007-08-21T21:50:00.000-05:002007-08-22T13:18:21.929-05:00

On hot days, there is a little girl who sells lemonade down the block from my train stop. The first day I saw her, I thought it was cute. I didn't have any cash on me at all so I shook my head at her offer, but I smiled as I walked by. She was there again the next day, her mom hovering in the background with re-inforcements. They had a customer, so I didn't stop. But I heard the lady standing

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-28727638275444463342007-08-19T10:44:00.001-05:002007-08-19T22:25:30.146-05:00

OLIVIA: I can't draw this one. I don't even know what it is.DYLAN: Here, let me see that.TR: What does it say?DYLAN: "Hunchback of Notre Dame." What do you mean, you know don't know that one?!OLIVIA: You know I don't know about sports!OLIVIA'S FRIEND: It's not sports, dummy, it's a Disney movie.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-15309934738219623192007-08-16T10:37:00.000-05:002007-08-20T15:10:37.249-05:00

After seven years here at the Jeeb, I handed in my resignation yesterday. Then I went to the bar with some co-workers and got drunk. Then I called everyone I knew to invite them to my farewell happy hour (August 29th! Save the date! Location TBD!). Then I went home and drank wine. Then I drunk dialed a few more people (sorry Mom), and also called my sister in Japan. Then I cried because I miss my

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-15774044944353343802007-08-13T09:19:00.000-05:002007-08-13T14:06:08.790-05:00

I'm a little hoarse today. 1 rock concert + 1 amusement park = 1 screamalicious weekend.SATURDAY!The Old 97's rocked out a street fest in Little Italy, where I happened to run into my favorite tall blonde drink of G&T. She was there with a friend who is a major Old 97's fan like me, but it was Megan's first show and I'm afraid we didn't break her in gently. In fact, the booty-shaking,

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-50639867988358847562007-08-08T17:16:00.000-05:002007-08-09T09:39:36.152-05:00

So I'm working on this top secret project, see. Except it's a lot less secret than I would like. Because I have a big mouth. And I am not subtle. And many things anger me. And I'm not shy about it. Because I have a big mouth. And so on and so forth.* * * * *Here's another project I am working on this week:A couple coats of white paint, some new Anthropologie knobs, and this gal will be gorgeous.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-32652086051840249252007-08-01T17:29:00.000-05:002007-08-01T17:47:00.908-05:00

TEQUILA RED: [flipping through magazine] I love this dress.COWORKER: So cute!TEQUILA RED: Except all that khaki would make me look like a Girl Scout.COWORKER: If your boobs were Girl Scout cookies, what would they be called?TEQUILA RED: Um, Oreolas. Duh.COWORKER: Nice.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-61915595158093463122007-07-31T13:43:00.000-05:002007-07-31T18:24:56.601-05:00

Q. What do you do when you're a 12 year old boy with too much time on your hands?A. Torment your little sister, of course. Poor Olivia found the following note on her dad's porch, which is conveniently located below Dylan's bedroom window.After a brief freak out, she put two and two together. We are currently debating ways to get him back. So far, I have vetoed "snakes in the bed" and "Nair in

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-18111228677240796222007-07-30T10:55:00.000-05:002007-07-31T14:36:41.126-05:00

fishswim paddlerowbuild campfiretell lame ghost storyeat s'moreseat watermeloneat fruit cobbler as big as your head"Excuse me, but I think I ordered the LARGE."ride horsesplay mini golfdig up clams, let them go, see if you can find them tomorrowplay paintballdrive go kartsfly fighter jetjump on trampolinesee terrible moviesee excellent moviestargazeread local papermock local paperread Chicago

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-63723590936833653772007-07-20T08:32:00.000-05:002007-07-20T10:58:24.774-05:00

COWORKER M: Do you think we should tell the New Bossman that "hummer" is a term for blow job?TEQUILA RED: Hmmm. Maybe.COWORKER M: Because in the meeting we just had, he kept saying [British accent] "You could win a Hummer! Who would turn down a Hummer?! I would love a Hummer."ALL: HA HA HA HACOWORKER M: And then? Right after we talked about an idea for Breast Cancer Month, he came up with a

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-36576209775574105312007-07-18T11:55:00.001-05:002007-07-18T11:55:28.347-05:00

Dude, Haloscan sucks balls lately.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-41676393562194554972007-07-18T11:43:00.001-05:002007-07-18T13:42:31.134-05:00

The other day I stopped at Nordstrom on my way to the dentist (SHOES!) and when I went through the revolving door there was a lady just ahead of me baaaaaaaarely pushing the door, so I go through and I give it a healthy push, and boy she just popped out the other side like a champagne cork, almost doing a faceplant right into the lobby rug. I think she must have cursed me out pretty good because

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-22174071255767978042007-07-18T10:56:00.000-05:002007-07-18T11:42:51.122-05:00

Yay! My block got our blue bins today! Now I'll be recycling like a mofo.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-40748625026146497822007-07-18T07:18:00.001-05:002007-07-18T11:26:13.100-05:00

Dear Michael Vick,Jail is too good for you.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-81956450830755546652007-07-17T13:45:00.000-05:002007-07-18T11:58:38.248-05:00

Lately it seems that everyone is going green. People are finally realizing that their actions have an environmental impact beyond the garbage cans in their kitchens. Magazines are doing issues devoted to eco-consciousness. Builders are using renewable resources. Cars are running on alternate fuels. There is a political party, and a concert, and of course a movie. Celebrities are basically

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-69626355325355683162007-07-16T10:54:00.000-05:002007-07-16T16:48:33.866-05:00

Brother - moved into new houseNiece - adorableNephew-to-be - probably not going to be named "Bowie"Closet - full of new clothes I can't affordBlueberries - pickedLeft arm - tanSister - aliveTeeth - cleaned & polishedVacation - starting FridayThings I WantA new suitA song written about meAll five numbers plus the Powerball

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-43392931537902595642007-07-12T21:45:00.000-05:002007-07-12T21:54:17.353-05:00

TEQUILA RED: I have to go to the pharmacy tomorrow.CONCERT JOSH: So do I.TEQUILA RED: I bet my prescription is more important than yours.CONCERT JOSH: Mine is allergy medicine.TEQUILA RED: Mine is birth control. CONCERT JOSH: So?TEQUILA RED: So if you don't take your pills, what happens?CONCERT JOSH: I get stuffed up and cranky.TEQUILA RED: And if I don't take my pills, what happens?CONCERT JOSH:

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-52851911377011088462007-07-12T09:47:00.001-05:002007-07-12T10:21:22.393-05:00

Last night I screamed like a woman while we were watching a scary movie ... preview. Poor Josh was totally not expecting it and almost fell off the couch. Apparently ghosts in the library stacks scare the hell out of me.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-28523197911519115112007-07-10T09:48:00.000-05:002007-07-11T12:27:58.457-05:00

Yes, it's true. Jane magazine is dead.Though Jane and I have had our share of differences in the past, I wish her nothing but the best in her next publishing endeavor.

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8402427.post-59726271556150837712007-07-09T12:55:00.000-05:002007-07-09T14:11:27.477-05:00

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-Victor FranklThe most successful people are those who are good at plan B.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;- James YorkeChange is inevitable - except from a vending machine. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-Robert C. Gallagher

Tequila Redhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00635345874162205239noreply@blogger.com0