Correct Me If I'm Wrong

One missing "x" makes a world of difference

2011-04-13T11:51:00.000+03:00

When helping a client understand the language of a contract he was about to sign, I came across this language which was immensely funny but had serious contractual implications. One more reason typos have no place in your documents.

"Should the project in Canada require the engagement of some eternal consultants that XYZ company uses, a separate budget would be allocated by the project owner in Canada for this purpose."

You-Turns to avoid I-Strain

2009-06-18T22:12:00.004+03:00

A short but powerfully convincing article by Anne Miller, publisher of the "Make What You Say, Pay" newsletter, makes the following very important point for all writers.

You can significantly increase the impact of your writing by recognizing that most people are more interested in hearing and reading about what matters to them than what matters to you. After all, as Ms Miller asks with tongue in cheek, would you rather look at pictures of her family or your own?

So unless you're writing an autobiography, make sure the writing is about your reader, not about yourself.

A simple exercise can quickly help. Find all instances of first-person pronouns (I, me, my) to identify where you've been writing from your own, rather than your reader's, point of view. Then rewrite those sentences!

For instance, instead of writing "We provide our clients with improved products," try "You will benefit from improved products."

To read the full article and many more with great tips for your writing, I recommend that you sign up for the "Make What You Say, Pay" newsletter at www.annemiller.com and read it faithfully. If writing convincing copy is important to you, it's well worth your time.

Thoughts on Obama, technology, and our future

2008-11-05T10:46:00.004+02:00

Beyond the enormous significance for race relations that Obama's win represents, it also holds huge significance for education in the US and probably elsewhere. US voters chose to reject ignorance and the anti-intellectual, boozy, Joe 6-pack ideal that Bush and Palin represented and go for the sober, study and work hard model presented by Obama. Children everywhere now have a worthy example to emulate, and they may even want to! It will be a good time for teachers and education for the next four years. It is a good time to invest in America.

Aesop's fable of the ant and the grasshopper comes to mind... voters chose the hard-working ant as they faced the economic winter quickly descending upon us all. I believe there will be an enormous surge in the US economy. But then, one has to factor in the reaction of Republicans who hold the reins of finance. Who knows...

The impact of YouTube, the Web and social networking has been incalculable. It's impossible to even imagine what the next election will be like. Who knows what uninvented technology will blow us this way and that? Sometimes I feel that we are all specks of dust floating in the air being buffeted by the first gusts of an enormous storm gathering on the horizon. Not a happy image, I admit, but it reflects my feeling that our lives are being driven by the power of our technologies rather than vice versa. We are becoming the Borg, one enormous interconnected organism. Where will it lead?

The other image that comes to mind is that of a heavy space-ship as it gathers speed on its way to breaking free of gravity. Let me point out that gravity refers not only to the force that keeps us earth-bound. It also means seriousness, as in the phrase gravity of purpose.

The role of the written word as the way to share information may be shrinking. Oral histories were gradually abandoned when writing was invented. As new technologies allow us to communicate directly with masses of people, many are now forgoing the essay, the informal e-mail, and even the SMS in favor of videos, skype teleconferences, and the ephemeral twitter. I ask you, how can one transmit a reasoned argument about anything on twitter?

The exponential rate of acceleration in the creation of new knowledge and new platforms for distributing that knowledge is mind-boggling. Obama won by leveraging technologies such as YouTube that didn't even exist during the last election. Chew on that little tidbit for awhile.

We live in interesting times. Let's hope not in the sense of the Chinese curse.

Mondegreens and Eggcorns

2008-07-05T18:12:00.005+03:00

"*Fast paste personality, highly creative, team spirit"

Do you have a fast paste personality?

Huh?

Don't worry. This is a classic mondegreen from a listserve I was reading yesterday. The writer, a woman whose native language is not English, misheard the actual word in the phrase "fast-paced" and concluded that the word was "paste." She's probably been writing it that way for years.

Children are the source of many mondegreens. The one I like best is the first line of The Star-Spangled Banner, "Jose, can you see?" Makes sense to me!

Our minds try to decipher what our ears hear. Most of the time, the context will help us out. Sometimes, our brains come to a mistaken conclusion, but there's some logic involved nonetheless. If many people come to the same wrong conclusion and a new usage emerges, it is called an eggcorn.

An example? How about in the rears instead of in arrears? Arrears is an accounting term to describe someone who is behind in payment, but many people who aren't familiar with the accounting term have concluded that to be behind in payment is to be in the rears. This phrase can be found on many forums discussing alimony and other court-ordered payments. If it keeps showing up all over the Internet, there is a good chance that it will become an established usage.

By the way, eggcorns and mondegreens are classic examples of errors that are not found by spell checkers. All the words are spelled correctly, but they're the wrong words for the context.

Most of us use eggcorns without ever knowing what the original phrase was. We're totally unaware that we're making a mistake. Don't believe me? I invite you to visit the Eggcorns
site and take a look around. It has a delightful collection of eggcorns heard in the wild.

Have fun!

Life's Little Ironies

2008-06-24T00:50:00.005+03:00

It's always a pleasant surprise when I stumble across a new link to my website. Today, I found that an academic newsletter reprinted an old piece of mine in its entirety and even included a link to its page on my website. But there's more to the story.

The short article both explains and demonstrates why spell checkers don't work and why it is so important to proofread before publishing. The problem with spell checkers is that if a piece of text uses a legitimate word in the wrong context, the spell checker won't notice. This often happens when someone happens to make a typo that results in a correctly spelled word. It could also happen if a writer doesn't know which homonym to choose. Should it be there or their, it's or its, then or than? The spell checker will accept any correctly spelled word, even if it's the wrong one.

So why am I writing about this? After all, as a publication of a reputable academic institution, the newsletter provided the appropriate acknowledgement of the source of the piece: "Complements of http://www.cmiiw.com/mistakes.htm"

Ironic, right? The author added only two words and the spell checker missed the error.

I wrote the editors to let them know that they should have written "Compliments of ..." instead of "Complements of ..." After all, why should I let such nice people look bad? They were a bit red-faced but gracious and grateful. And they corrected the spelling immediately.

Penny Wise, Pound Foolish

2008-02-03T14:47:00.000+02:00

Today, I heard a very sad story about a start-up that was trying to save money. The principals were non-native English speakers. They decided to do without anyone's help in writing an introductory letter to a potential strategic partner. They got a Dear John form letter instead of the appointment they wanted. Why? Because they wrote to a Christian outlet about the New Testimony instead of the New Testament.

Everything with your signature on it is a reflection of you.

Whether you’re sending a thank you note or a proposal to the EEC, the way it is written will say whether you are trustworthy, credible, considerate, thorough, and careful – or not.

Who checks your writing before it goes out?

Do you leave that job to the printer who makes you sign that you’ve checked it? Do you give it to your secretary whose favorite reading material is Cosmo? Do you ask the tech writer to look it over – after all, his experience should qualify him to check what you wrote on that prospectus, shouldn’t it? Or, do you just wing it and hope for the best?

No one to turn to?

Sometimes there really is no one close by to turn to. No one to make sure that you’ve said what you intended to say... In the tone you intended... In the appropriate format… Sometimes you’re working on something confidential that can’t be known within the company. Sometimes…

But why beat a dead horse? You know the problem all too well. To get your writing checked, you have to hunt all over the office to find someone whose expertise you actually trust and then you have to ask for a favor. It’s time-consuming. And a little humiliating. But what choice do you have? Let your customers or Board of Directors or colleagues see you at less than your best?

Do yourself a favor. If your signature or the name of your company is on material about to make its way into the world, get a qualified reviewer to look it over BEFORE it leaves the premises. It may even cost you a little. But better to put your hand in your pocket than your foot in your mouth.

How do you spell your country's name?

2007-12-13T11:30:00.000+02:00

Recently, I received an official invitation to the Prime Minister's Conference, an annual business event hosted by the Israel Export and International Cooperation Institute. The IEICI folks are usually very careful about the wording of their invitations and often consult with us about the protocol of addressing foreign ministers and heads of government. But there in the email subject line was:

Invitation to the Isreali Prime Minister Business Conference

One subject line. Two errors.

Aside from the missing possessive, the error that was really upsetting was that the host country's name was spelled incorrectly.

Many people go to a great deal of effort in preparing material for print, but skimp when preparing things for email. Perhaps it has to do with the hard cash that one hands the printer as opposed to the sense one has that email is free -- even though it isn't.

So let me caution you. Email is not an excuse for sloppy proofreading. If you value the content of your email and if you value your reader, don't press Send until you proofread the whole item:

subject line
names of sender and all recipients
the body of the message
your own signature
the names of any file attachments

Unfortunately, most spell and grammar checkers review only one of the 5 items in the list. That leaves a lot of room for error -- aside from the inaccuracy of automated spell and grammar checkers.

And I'm sure you've seen your own shocking examples.

So proofread before you publish, whether in hard copy or in electronic form.

How did you say you spelled your name?

2007-12-11T22:30:00.000+02:00

If you're wondering why people aren't inviting you into their social or business networks on facebook or LinkedIn, it just may be because as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're invisible.

The cure is simple. Check how your name is spelled on the network site.

No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I know you typed it in yourself when you set up the account. Yes, I'm sure you know how to spell your own name. Honestly, I'm not saying this to embarrass you. Just check. Please.

Why am I raising this issue once again? Because yesterday, I stumbled across two people I know on LinkedIn whose names were misspelled. Guess how many people were persistent enough to find them...

You're probably saying to yourself that I'm making this up. Honestly, I'm not. Go ahead and look up the name Aaaia on LinkedIn. That's not his name, but he's a real person and he really did misspell it.

It's really amazing how often people misspell their own name on the web or in email. Obviously, it's just a typo. No one does this deliberately. Unfortunately, this is one place where it can really hurt you.

Just a word to the wise...

A Fabulous Game to Improve Vocabulary

2007-11-24T09:22:00.000+02:00

I admit it. I love games -- any games. But especially word games.

Here's one that actually manages to make me feel productive while I have fun!

The game shows you a word and four possible definitions. All you have to do is choose the right one. It's not as easy as it sounds!

Take a look.

wainscot means:

nobleman
malformation
dictatorship
wood paneling

Click on one of the choices, and you'll immediately be given the right answer.

The game is self-adjusting, adapting itself to your level. If you make mistakes, it chooses easier words, but if you get four right in a row, it makes the words slightly harder. So you'll always be learning new words just above your current ability.

You'll find the words will recycle over a long period of time. So even if you miss a word like "wainscot" the first time you see it, you'll get more chances to get it right and move up a notch.

It's devilishly simple, fun, and addictive.

Oh! Did I mention that for every set of definitions you click on, 10 grains of rice are contributed to a feed the hungry program? It's amazing how quickly those grains add up! I hope it's not a hoax. It does seem to be legitimate.

Try it yourself. And each time you do, you'll not only be learning a whole set of new English words, you'll also be contributing a little bit of rice to the diets of the poor.

Click here and enjoy!

Solid Research: Spelling Counts for Credibility

2007-07-02T11:50:00.000+03:00

For years I've been looking for solid proof that spelling mistakes truly reduce a site's credibility. Now I've got it.

The Stanford Persuasive Technology Lab together with Makovsky & Company conducted a study called "Investigating what makes Web sites credible today."

Here's what they found:

"It’s clear from the data that Web users do not overlook simple cosmetic
mistakes, such as spelling or grammatical errors. In fact, the findings
suggested that typographical errors have roughly the same negative impact on
a Web site's credibility as a company's legal or financial troubles."

Wow, that's strong stuff.

So if you've ever thought that spellchecking and editing were simply fluff that you could ignore and that only content counted, think again.

Would you do business with a company that had legal or financial troubles?

Enough said. To read the whole report, click on the title of this blog.

Where Vagueness Is Preferable

2007-05-09T09:25:00.000+03:00

Today, while surfing the web, I came across this line on the website of a very reputable firm:

"You will find that we work with the most talented copywriters who
have an established experience in writing email copy."

Here's a fine example of what you don't want to do with overly precise language. The problem is that tiny word "an". It means one, not more than one. In other words, the copywriters they hire have created one email campaign.

Does that inspire confidence? Would you call these copywriters experienced? Would you trust their expertise?

It would have been far better if they had written

"You will find that we work with the most talented copywriters who
have established experience in writing email copy."

Not only is this less specific, it is also more inspiring. When I read this, I can now imagine that their copywriters have vast experience. The copy doesn't specify how much and it leaves me with a much more positive impression.

So the issue is when is it appropriate to be exact and when is vagueness preferable.

When describing a product such as a table that needs to fit into a predetermined spot, precision is definitely needed. But when describing something as individual and varied as experience, a little vagueness is preferable.

Of course, this is not always the case. If you know in advance that your reader is interested in copywriters who have experience in writing about women's tennis shoes, then by all means talk about the ad campaigns your writers have run for Nike or the volunteer writing they did for a marathon for abused women. Pile on the information.

But if the best you can do is say "an" as a descriptor, then better to drop that little word. It really doesn't help.

Happy writing, all.

Does WhiteSmoke Use Its Own Product?

2007-05-05T19:41:00.000+03:00

WhiteSmoke is a company that claims its software can check your grammar and spelling and enrich your writing. If the writing on WhiteSmoke's website was passed through its own software, then all I can say is stay far away from the software.

Today, WhiteSmoke sent me an e-mail saying:
Limited Time Offer!
BUY ONCE GET TWICE
OFFER END MAY-7-07

That's right. I couldn't believe my eyes either.

Ahem, guys... Shouldn't that be BUY ONE, GET TWO or BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE?

And don't you mean offer ends May-7-07? I suppose you could claim that it's short for "The offer end is on May-7-07." Perhaps. But, dear reader, is that what went through your head the first time you read it?

You might think that I'm being too hard on the company and that if one poor soul messed up once, it's no big deal.

Unfortunately, this is not a one-time occurrence. WhiteSmoke is a serial offender. This kind of thing is rife on their website.

Here's another example from their forum. Under the heading Top Expert, they write, "Use credits to ask questions to top experts about English and grammar." Just for your information ladies and gentlemen of WhiteSmoke, one asks questions of someone; one poses questions to someone.

In 2006, WhiteSmoke sent me another ad in which there were two sentences. The first one started with a capital letter but was missing a period. The second sentence had a period but didn't start with a capital letter.

This company's English is sloppy. I can only come to one of two conclusions. Either their product is not doing its job, or their product is so difficult or cumbersome to use that they don't use it themselves. Either way, WhiteSmoke doesn't deserve you as their customers.

Why E-mail Gets Deleted: The Vital Importance of Proofreading

2007-04-17T09:34:00.000+03:00

Today, I received an e-mail with the subject line "Why Customers Leave Suddenly: The Vital Important (sic) of Sequencing." The content turned out to be interesting and relevant, but I almost passed over the whole thing as junk mail.

I get a tremendous amount of junk mail, so I use automatic filtering to help cut down on the burden. Most of it gets diverted to the junk folder, but some manages to pass itself off as legitimate, so it stays in my Inbox.

In my business, I often get inquiries from total strangers. I can't tell what's worth reading from the sender's name, so I have to decide based on the subject lines. When I'm scanning my incoming mail, if I see garbled syntax and it doesn't look like a business inquiry, I just automatically assume it's not something I want to read. Hitting Delete is almost automatic.

In this case, I just knew the e-mail couldn't be from one of the real marketing mavens, because they know better than to send out e-mail without proofreading it. But I was wrong, and I was lucky. Just as my finger was poised over the Delete key, I glanced at the name of the sender and I was able to stop myself in the nick of time.

Maybe you think I'm exaggerating about how quickly I make a decision about whether to hit Delete or not. Let me assure you, I'm not! Who wants to waste time on this intrusive, annoying, insulting stuff? And because the filters aren't perfect, I go through my junk mail folder daily to double check that there's no legitimate e-mail there. Most of the time, it really is junk, so I scan the titles very rapidly, hitting Delete as I go.

The moral of this story is clear: if you want your e-mail to be read, don't tempt fate. Before you hit Send, proofread your subject lines.

Grabbing a Prospect's Attention

2007-04-12T13:17:00.000+03:00

Has someone important forgotten you? A potential client perhaps?

Introducing yourself is the first way to start building rapport with people who are important to your business. Unfortunately, this task is often relegated to automatic signatures at the end of emails. Out of some misdirected sense of either modesty (why would anyone want to know more about me?) or vanity (everyone already knows who I am), many people simply neglect to introduce themselves at the beginning of a letter. Don't make that mistake.

Think of an introduction as the headline of a marketing message. Its function is to give someone an immediate, compelling reason for continuing to listen to you. If you're competing for a person's attention on the floor of an industrial exhibition with thousands of people milling around, or in a foot high stack of proposals on the desk of a partner in a venture capital firm, you’ve got tough competition.

Michel Fortin, the Success Doctor, once described a technique for headlines called "The Gapper." It involves focusing attention on the gap between a problem a prospect may or may not be aware of and its solution. In his article, Michel Fortin made it clear how to use it in a headline, but what does that mean for an introduction?

Let me give you an example of something I might say when introducing myself to a group at a presentation. "Hello. I'm Rochelle Treister, the CEO of Correct Me If I'm Wrong. I help people look as smart as they really are." Here I am not only reinforcing awareness of a problem that many people think they have, but also presenting them with a potential solution.

The same holds true when meeting people one on one. When I go to an industrial convention and there's someone whose business I would like, I find some basis for introducing myself and establishing myself as someone who can help. "Hi. I'm Rochelle Treister, CEO of Correct Me If I'm Wrong. I couldn't help noticing that the nametag they gave you has your company’s name spelled incorrectly. Your prospects are never going to be able to find you that way." A conversation about the importance of nametags and correct English generally evolves from there and I'm on my way to making a new customer.

In a letter to a potential customer, I might write

Dear Sir,
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rochelle Treister and I’m CEO of Correct Me If I’m Wrong, a company dedicated to ensuring that the quality of a company’s English language business material is as great as the quality of its product or service.

Of course, a little appropriate humor never hurts. (Remember, I said appropriate humor.) For instance, if you’re in a foreign country and the people around you find it hard to pronounce your name, then you might help them out by saying, “Hi, my name is Itzhak but, if you prefer, you can call me Izzie – as long as you don’t call me late for dinner. I’m …” and here you would continue with your Gapper.

If you follow this simple formula, connecting your name with people’s problems and your solution, you will find that more people will not only remember your name, they’ll also remember why your solution can help them with a problem they’re experiencing. And when it comes to doing business, that’s exactly what you’re hoping to achieve.

Now, for the quiz – What’s the name of my company and how can I help you?

RANT!!! How Will They Find You?

2007-04-04T14:26:00.000+03:00

I swear I'll never understand how people can overlook mistakes in their very own signatures when they see them over and over and over -- in the mail that they send and then in most of the mail that gets sent back to them. But I see it again and again.

Yesterday I was asked to do some work for a new client, and yes -- you guessed it -- there was a mistake in his signature.

But not just any pedestrian mistake such as a typo in his phone number, which would have been bad enough. Nope. This client of mine had managed to append his signature to an untold number of email messages with his own name misspelled.

Can you believe it?!

How did I find out? Well, luckily, the firm has one of those names that is a listing of its senior partners' names. You know, like Smith, Jones & Papadopoulos. I happened to notice that one of the names in the firm's name was almost (but not quite) the same as my client's name. Since he is a partner, there was a pretty good chance that it was his name, spelled correctly, on the letterhead. So I asked him. And it was.

So I say to myself, "Rochelle, give the guy a break. It's not so terrible."

But it is.

Imagine that you did it. How is a new client supposed to write you back and not make a fool of himself? It's a guaranteed way to make a person feel like an idiot when he finds out that he's spelled your name wrong. And then when he finally finds out, he has to change the misspelling in his phone directory, in his mail client, in his paper filing system, in announcements, in reports, in presentations, and on and on. Talk about annoying!

And how's he supposed to get information about you in Google or Dun & Bradstreet?

Errors in the company name, contact information, or website addresses are just as bad. They lead your customers on a not so merry chase as they try to find you. There goes more business down the drain.

So what's the moral of this story? Simple.

CHECK EVERY PART OF YOUR SIGNATURE VERY, VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.

And don't think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. One of my clients had a business card with 17 errors in it. Absolutely true! It happened three years ago, but he's still talking about it.

Written English as a Second Language? Fuggedaboutit!

2007-03-18T19:20:00.000+02:00

This is controversial. The education gurus will probably come down hard on me. I'm sure to get a lot of flak for what I have to say here. Nonetheless, I think that people who try to write in a language that isn't their mother tongue are wasting their time.

Why? Because most of them will never be good enough. That's why.

Yes, some might get by. There might even be the occasional Vladimir Nabokov who can write brilliantly in a second language.

But let's get real. The vast majority of people who start learning a second language in high school and don't actually use it full time will never master it. They'll be able to manage in conversations by using body language and facial expressions. Their friends will forgive their clumsy phrasing. Even business associates will make allowances for their gaffes because their accents will make it clear that their mistakes are not the result of stupidity.

But writing is another story altogether. If the reader doesn't know the writer's circumstances, there are no clues to explain the mangled metaphors, the grammar mistakes, the awkward sentence structures. And anonymous readers aren't so forgiving.

Recently, the billionaire, Malcolm Forbes, made a very important point in an interview. He said that he always hired people to do things that they could do better than he could. Why? Well, for one, he would get a better result. And meanwhile, he would be able to devote his time to doing what he is best at.

And that's exactly how I think people should treat writing in a second language.

Now let's say that you're not a native speaker of English. And let's say that you have to prepare a PowerPoint presentation for a speech you're going to give in English. Ask yourself, what would Malcolm Forbes do in your place? Would he spend hours writing his speech with a dictionary, a thesaurus and a copy of a book on grammar? I highly doubt it.

And would he let his secretary handle it for him? No again! After all, his philosophy is to use the person who can do the job best in order to get the best result.

Here's what I recommend to people in that situation. Do a brief outline of your presentation and then hand over the preparation of the final product to a native English writer. Review the result to make sure that it says what you want it to say and that you're comfortable with the vocabulary. The result? A polished product that makes you look good and that is more convincing than if you did it all yourself.

Of course, you can't hand off the actual speaking part to someone else, so it makes sense to take lessons in the target vocabulary that will likely be needed. If you know the right buzz words and can use them correctly, then any grammar mistakes you make in person will be forgiven.

You'll be more relaxed. Your slides won't jar people with grammatical errors and will let them focus on what you're saying. And your audience may actually understand you—assuming, of course, that you're topic suits the audience.

So put you're efforts into learning to speak English and let someone else do the English writing. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time.

Letting her little light shine!

2006-04-24T23:54:00.000+03:00

Sometimes you just can't hide your light under a bushel. You have to let it shine.

Today, my associate at Correct Me If I'm Wrong, Sharon Farber, received this testimonial as a consequence of the outstanding job she did for one of our clients. I'm publishing it here because I think the world of her and I want you to find out how special she is in the words of someone who received no personal benefit from writing this rave letter. Here it is.

As President/CEO of Thrombovision, Inc. I would like to offer a testimonial of my experience with Sharon Farber of Correct Me If I’m Wrong in writing the Business Plan for ThromboVision. Sharon demonstrated a great deal of professionalism and handled each and every task with deft attention to detail. She left no question unanswered, left nothing to chance and went well beyond our expectations in accomplishing our goals on time and within the allocated budget. As a novice in our industry, she was a quick study in learning our technology. Sharon’s close attention to detail and team approach working with us resulted in a world class document with the requisite underlying spreadsheets to credibly showcase our company. I recommend her without reservation.

Edward R. Teitel
MD, JD, MBA
President / CEO
ThromboVision Inc.
www.thrombovision.com

Now, wouldn't you be proud to work with someone like that?

The benefits of dyslexia

2006-04-24T22:55:00.000+03:00

Last night I heard the funniest pick-up line ever.

We were sitting with our friends, John and Jane, at a restaurant, when John nudged his wife and said, "Look at her," indicating a woman at a nearby table. I looked too, of course, but didn't see anything particularly noteworthy. His wife looked and said, "Oh, sweetie. You remembered! She's wearing our T-shirt."

Now, I've heard of our song, our restaurant, our favorite beach, and countless other variations, but never our T-shirt. There had to be a story. And there was.

It seems that John and Jane had met countless years ago as tourists abroad. They happened to be staying at the same hotel and had each independently ended up at a casual event being held there for a visiting diplomat. Jane came to the party wearing a Chanel 5 T-shirt. You know... the perfume. Not knowing anyone at the party, John looked around and decided to approach this young woman who had caught his eye. Assuming that the press were covering the event, he went over to her and said, "Do you work for Channel 5?"

She cracked up!

The rest is history.

It was only later that she discovered he was dyslexic. Sometimes, there are some concrete benefits to having a reading disability.

Equal to none or Unequalled?

2006-04-05T07:52:00.000+03:00

"Our service is equal to none!"

Oh, really? Well, I guess I'll go elsewhere.

I came across this gem in a client's writing today and I just had to comment.

The sentence as written means that the service is at the bottom of the heap. It literally says that the service is equal to no service.

What the client meant to say was that no other company can provide a service that comes up to my client's standard. It should have read "Our service is unequalled!"

English is a tricky language.

A malapropism by any other name

2006-03-29T13:57:00.000+02:00

This week, my email contained three hilarious malapropisms.

In yesterday's mail, a friend's husband was updating us on his wife's status after recent surgery. He noted that the surgery was necessitated by Maurene's "Crone's disease," which immediately had me rotfl (rolling on the floor laughing).

Of course, Crohn's disease is no laughing matter, but for someone who just celebrated a 60th birthday, Crone's disease has that grotesque ring of truth. Luckily, while on vacation last year, I picked up a whole stack of greeting cards intended for my over-60 female friends that say "Crones celebrate." I will definitely be sending one of these to Maurene with a note for a full and speedy recovery.

Today, I opened a newsletter from copywriting guru John Forde. He held forth on the benefits of better communication for world peace, making the point that the same skills used to write good sales copy could be used to defuse conflicts in all kinds of situations.

I have no argument with his thesis.

What brought a smile to my face was the line, "I'll seal the deal by drawing taught those loose ends we talked about."

Ummm, Jack... The word you wanted was taut. But thanks for the lesson anyway.

The third instance was in another of John Forde's newsletters in an article called "Prospect Plundering 101" written by a guest columnist. The title made me think of piracy. The article itself was a lot less heavy-handed than its title and really addressed the issue of how to get to the emotions that underlie most purchases.

And the line that cracked me up? Judge for yourselves.

"Here's a list of neutral pass-back questions,
statements and actions to illicit the next level of
information."

Now I understand the title! (For you non-native English readers, illicit means illegal. The word he should have used was elicit, which means to draw forth.)

What is a malapropism? It's the use of an inappropriate word that has an accidental similarity to the word that should be used. If you remember the character Archie Bunker on that hilarious sitcom, All in the Family, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Many proofreading sites suggest that you read your work out loud to find errors, but that won't work for most malapropisms. The wrong words sound too much like the right ones -- that's the whole source of the problem. Spellcheckers won't find these errors either, since malapropisms are all legitimate words.

Over the years, many people have become associated with this unfortunate foot-in-mouth disease. It currently goes by the name Bushism. My advice? Always use a professional proofreading service to check your work. Otherwise, you risk having your name become the new standard bearer for malapropisms.

Less is More

2006-03-15T23:53:00.000+02:00

Sometimes, you need to tell a customer "the whole story" as one of my favorite marketing gurus, Sean D'Souza says. But sometimes less is more.

I recently got a call from a client, Michael, asking for help dealing with a situation with one of his prospective customers -- let's call him Seiji. Things were getting out of hand. Michael sells sophisticated medical equipment. The product is quite technical and requires coordinating the settings on various pieces of apparatus. Since compressed oxygen is involved, it's important to get pressures in range and to proceed in the right order or things can get pretty explosive... literally!

Seiji had had some technical questions and Michael had tried to answer them. Several emails had gone back and forth, with each answer from Michael creating a new question in Seiji's mind. Instead of calming the waters, Michael's detailed answers seemed to be making matters worse. By the time Michael called for help, a very large sale was at serious risk!

Now understand that I'm an editor. I don't do counselling. But clearly, something about the way Michael was answering Seiji's inquiries was creating a problem. I read through the correspondence and realized that Michael needed to say less, not more!

It's the same mistake that an inexperienced, well-meaning parent often makes with very young children. The parent makes a request. The child says why. The parent explains, believing in the power of reason and logic. The child asks for further clarification. The parent explains. The child... Well, you know how it goes. In the end, the parent loses patience and yells "Because I said so!" Sometimes, it's better not to start down that road.

"Michael," I said, "he's asking you whether he's doing things correctly. He just needs to know yes or no. He doesn't need to know WHY he's right or wrong. Stop explaining! Let's make your next email as short as possible so that there's no room for him to create any more questions."

So we did. We cut Michael's draft down from 800 to 200 words. It was friendly, brief, and to the point.

It got the sale.

Ghoti?

2006-03-07T04:05:00.000+02:00

Another day, another cautionary tale. And yes, I'm still dealing with names.

Most of my clients write to people in other countries. Today, I was editing a letter of introduction that my client David was sending to his associate, William, in the United States. In the letter, he was offering to set up a meeting between William and a man named Chaim.

Given that William is an American, I was pretty confident that he would try to pronounce the name Chaim in the same way one would pronounce the English word "chain" but with an "m" on the end. Bad choice! Chaim is actually a transliteration of a Hebrew name and in this case the transliteration needs some explanation... in fact, a whole lot of explanation.

Ch should be pronounced as a soft gutteral. It's a sound that doesn't exist in English.
a should be pronounced as "u" in the word "up."
i should be pronounced as "ee" in "wee."
m should be pronounced as "m."
There is also a "y" sound as in "yellow" between the "a" and the "i" that happens because there are two distinct vowel sounds one after the other.

So, in the end "Chaim" is pronounced more like "Hahyim."

I'm not suggesting that when faced with a similar situation that you put a whole pronunciation guide into your letter. We didn't. But I'm all for saving people from embarrassment if at all possible. In this case, we wrote:

"William, just a word of advice. Chaim is not pronounced the way it's written. I suggest you ask him how to say his name as soon as you meet. He'll set you straight."

And just for fun, did you know that "ghoti" is pronounced fish?

gh as in cough
o as in women
ti as in nation

That little gem has long been attributed to George Bernard Shaw!

By the way, my name, Rochelle, is pronounced:

R as in rose
o as in could
ch as in machine
ell as in spell
e is silent

Are you male or female? Your customers, clients and strategic partners want to know.

2006-02-28T17:02:00.000+02:00

I was working with my client, Osnat, today. She was writing an e-mail to her customer, Aujne, and called me to check out some phrasing.

Well, I've let the cat out of the bag already. Yes, Osnat is a woman. But we weren't so sure about Aujne's gender.

"Osnat," I said. "Have you ever met this customer?"

"No," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just wondering whether Aujne is a man's or a woman's name. We've been assuming that Aujne is a man in this invitation, but what if we're wrong... We've just asked him to let us know if his wife will be accompanying him. That could be pretty embarrassing if Aujne is a woman! Not only that," I said. "We don't know if Aujne has a wife or a husband or even what his or her sexual orientation is!"

Osnat and I ended up deciding to be much more diplomatic. First, we did a little detective work and found out that Aujne was a woman. Then we simply asked if anyone would be accompanying her.

Now put the shoe on the other foot. A similar situation could be happening in your customers' offices. If you haven't let them know whether you are male or female, you may be placing them in an awkward situation.

Don't assume that your first name makes it obvious. Here in Israel, Sharon is a unisex name. And maybe you remember that wonderful country and western song, A Boy Named Sue?

My advice for the day is to make sure that you include some clue to your gender when you first introduce yourself in writing. A Mr. or Ms as part of your signature can go a long way preventing future embarrassment for your customer, client, or strategic partner.

Now if your title happens to be Dr. or Prof., then your signature won't do the trick. You've got to get the information across in a more subtle way. I've been known to drop a reference to "my husband" into a note, as in "My husband and I have just returned from vacationing in Zimbabwe."

Got an anecdote to share about this issue? Please do!

Until next time,

Signing off,

Mrs. Rochelle Treister