Sound of Mull

The Sticky Institute and La Soiree

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 07:37:00 +0000

Gabe was in town over the weekend. I was coming off the back of one of those ridiculous weeks you fall into because you can't say a big fat 'no' to new commitments. Gabe came in on a Thursday; I pulled an all-nighter to get my essay in; Nic was crazy busy in surgeries; I went for this less-than-swishy function for work; and then we were at this place in that cartoon where your legs are swinging wildly in mid-air as your mind races on to the fact that you've just hurled yourself off the cliff.

And then our weekend began.

I hadn't seen Gabe since the wedding and it was just brilliant to have him spend some time with us. It's strange how things are constantly changing such that when you meet a few months or years hence, you always have to find this new foothold to knock heads and break laughter over coffee and wine. There was way too much alcohol involved (but of course, we're Australians), a bit of dancing and a smidgen of angsty 'what-am-I-doing-with-my-life' soliloquies. I brought him to the Sticky Institute at Flinders Street Station - guys, if you haven't visited this Melbourne institute, and you're the type of person who reads blogs (well, obviously, or how else are you reading this?), you need to check out this little hole in the wall for zines (click on the link below the image above and do a bit of googling - zines are the perfect way of taking your first few steps into the world of graphic novels or reinventing your blog). Anyway, where was I: Gabe's arrival marked the start to the last quarter of the year for us both, and a time to really start catching up on promises made.

For me, it's the same old tune of: holy crappola, I haven't been spending enough time with my friends. And I think that's a real pity - the danger of juggling all these balls in the air and assuming that everyone will still be around after you're done with your circus act is that you find yourself woefully alone - or you could be. Maybe the excitement about being back in Melbourne still hasn't ebbed after a year, but I find myself constantly taking on more than I can chew, trying to get things done. So far, it's been exciting, but unfortunately, I haven't seen some of my peeps since April. right.

Anyway, I was going to start the quarter off well, so we began at Brother Baba Budan:

Image from BroadSheet

Then a brief skip and a hop through Melbourne before we ended up at the Ian Potter NGV. I love the museum at Fed Square - I could spend months there. Although I was a little irked they had taken the Jeffrey Smart's out of rotation this time. Still, I get lost in their collection of aboriginal works - particularly how they have quite a few pieces that don't reflect the typical colours seen. As an architect, the idea of art being this memetic map and the mythologising space is truly remarkable. Particularly when you get to the pieces that use these shocking blues and greens and pinks and purples.

We ended up catching the 10pm La Soiree show (Melbourne Festival is on at the moment - make sure you get out and throw some spice in your life). It was sensational. Gabe was in love with David O'Mer (bath boy) who I have to say is pure sex in a tub. And not the awkward kind. If you know what I mean.

Nic liked the male pole dancer. I thought that's amazing - if that had been me (not that I'd ever have that kind of upper body strength) my face would've been red by the first 20 seconds, I'd be panting and my forearms would be spasming in protest....

But the standout acts for me were this comedienne who wore this dress of words. She made the show for me particularly as she was so astute in her choice of this particularly member of the audience (it was largely audience participation driven). She picked this man - David was his name - who was cute, wholesome, sufficiently pained-in-expression, expressive, reticent, and just so bloody awkward. It was.... torturous fun seeing him being put through the paces. I. Absolutely. Loved. It. Would've been better if she was a drag queen.

And of course, there was La (or Le) Gateau Chocolat - who has the most amazing vibratto. too bad he massacred Radiohead's 'Creep' with it... but I LOVED how sensual (s)he was - the original bearded lady, purring her way through the inner circle where we were sitting (let me just segue into how I loved that they did this in the Forum Theatre with its little fake night sky roof and tacky tivoli-esque decorations).

Nic couldn't stop chortling after he did this full lap dance on a man at the end of our row (apparently, le Chocolat's victim was not impressed at all). I thought that that way less offensive than his chocolat s emen thing. So vulgar and funny at the same time.

Anyway, yes, well worth your time (unless you've already seen it all at the Spiegeltent):

Oh yes, and that Contortionist.... was sublime.

One of the most powerful images I've seen in a while

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 15:29:00 +0000

One of the most powerful images I've seen in a while. Dwayne Booth (who illustrates under the name Mr. Fish) came up with this graphic to accompany the truthdig article on 'the War on Gays' by Chris Hedges. Hedges believes that even as the glbt community progresses in our rights in the cities, we've left behind our peers in rural areas who are finding it harder and harder.

In America, the refusal to acknowledge class struggle has led to a 'spreading of hate' and what Hedges calls an 'empowering [of] the increasingly potent culture of hate'. It's particularly telling that President Obama, in accepting the nomination, observed '[b]ut we don't think that government is the source of all our problems – any more than are welfare recipients, or corporations, or unions, or immigrants, or gays, or any other group we're told to blame for our troubles.'

What really annoyed me about the Tyler Clementi suicide was that the people involved were Asian. It just makes me thoroughly disgusted that my community would do these things. Such utter shame. Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei.

The Truthdig article is worth reading. Click here.

Worth a read: the 5 Myths about Same-sex Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 20:35:00 +0000

image source: here

Jonathan Rauch has this great piece on the Washington Post exposing the 5 Myths of Same-Sex Marriage.

Some days

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 13:56:00 +0000

This video really affected me. And some days, I wish fiercely that I believed in reincarnation, and that there are lifetimes available to work out the kinks in life. Sometimes, I'm just grateful to be partnered to a vet, who holds above all, an animal's quality of life.

I'm not quite sure what an animal communicator is though... but I'm trying not to be cynical about it.

Monash University - It Gets Better Video

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 02:28:00 +0000

Wow. Love it - Great job, Monash.

Golden Rooster and the fight for Family

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:13:00 +0000

I was a bit exasperated at my progress at preparing for this impending exam, so Grant (click HERE for his blog) caught me at a vulnerable point and convinced me to do something I wouldn't normally do - I went for my first Gay Asian and Proud meeting.

Gay Asian Proud is an initiative run by the Victorian Aids Council to support ethnically Asian gay males and their partners or people attracted to Asians (which I assume to be Rice Queens). They were joined today for Yumcha by their sister group, the Yellow Kitties - which makes me think we should've been called Golden Roosters or something similarly ~~cheesy~~ tongue-in-cheek. I would've even suggested 'Sunset Cockatoos' or 'Topaz Peacocks'... though the names would, presumably, be far too intimidating - 'Golden Roosters' ain't too bad though. It has a ring to it that is similar to 'New Gold Mountain' - one of my favourite bars - and named after the Chinese name for Melbourne following the decline in the Californian gold rush.

Sorry, the best I could do for 'Golden Rooster' was this Easter Greeting.

I find myself often reluctant to attend such meetings (and Grant could probably tell you of the number of times I've declined his invitation) because I think it's a bit too strange to partition my life into Asian and non-Asian... sure, a casual glance at my Facebook friends list will yield a greater percentage of Asians in my life (I did grow up in Asia), but I am not quite sure whether I'd contrive to meet people who were only of a certain background or persuasion... no, that's not true, I have found myself at an Asian gay night on quite a few occasions, so perhaps it's admitting it while the sun is up that is my issue.... hm.

So Grant came over to my place so we could walk over to the restaurant together, and it's been a while since we caught up (he came to my wedding in April) and we bumped into each other on Lonsdale Street a month back - but we've both been caught up with things (in fact, I hardly think blogging on the eve of the eve of a killer exam paper is my smartest move). And having experienced the session first hand, I have to say - I really think it's a great group. It's non-intimidating, the people are immensely friendly, and I found the experience very pleasant. I did find the $40 per person for yumcha an absolute rip-off. The venue could've been better chosen, and in this regard, I think it may work against the group. For that amount of money, you could dine quite nicely in venues with much better food - and I think it'd be a bit of a barrier to entry for overseas students (presumably their target group?).

Right at the end of the session, a guy comes up to me and says, 'Congratulations! I thought the photos of your wedding were beautiful'... and for a moment, I wondered if he was one of you guys - a reader (yes, my long-suffering, and neglected readers). But it turns out he had recognised me from the article on Fridae. and the article in SameSame. We had been approached by Samesame after they saw our wedding video, and after we did that interview, Nic said we should contact Fridae to share our story with our gAysian community. The brilliant thing about the interview with Fridae is that it was with a junior from my secondary school in Singapore - so there was quite a roundness to how things clicked into place. And it's been good, we've had around 17,000 views on the video.

The strange thing about this coming up was that it raised that question of my ethnic identity again. It was me, being Asian and Gay. The primary driver for sharing the video was to really say to our community, hey, you do realise that some of your sons and daughters are gay and lesbian and transgendered - and why aren't you being more vocal about this? Yes, it's a very Asian thing to immigrate and then try and keep your voice soft and your heads down - but you miss so much of what's happening, and chance to be part of this history. And I feel like we're so ready to move beyond what we've been for so long.

So I was asked again the question - and this has come up quite a few times -
Why do the ceremony and 'get married' in Melbourne where there is no legal recognition?

And again the initial answer was (and has always been) very simple: the ceremony is for us - very selfishly, it's for us. I love Melbourne. I was born here and though I struggled when I first returned to Australia, in the intervening years, I can think of no other place I'd rather be. And so it had to be here. And we were extremely fortunate for the generosity of people who came. There was always a plan to head to Vancouver to formalise it, but now I'm not sure that's necessary.

But asked this question again, today... I had the chance to reflect on what came after the wedding: Nic was very excited about the video we had created with our videographer, Shushan, and had wanted to share it with as many people as possible. For me, I thought, okay, this opens us up to criticism and to backlash (In fact, I left my previous job because the director had said, 'I have a problem that you took two days off for your wedding that was not even a real wedding' - which, I have to say, was terrible when I first heard it, but I thought - okay, as cutting and cruel as the statement had been, you're not wrong. It's not a 'real' wedding, but it meant to me. I didn't respond in the end. But I really felt, for the first time in my working life, that this was a firm I could no longer support or believe in).

I think I have an answer to the question that I'd like to run past you all, particularly as so many of us are marching for Marriage Equality today:

This ceremony was our Rosa Parks moment. Nic and I are resisting this nonsensical separation - between different-sex marriage and same-sex marriage. We are resisting this evil and mindless use of the word 'Family' - a word that is so disgustingly politicised so that it immediately positions my parents on the backfoot to have to defend themselves as great, great parents; that says whatever way I choose to live my life is so much less worthy of the wholesomeness that is attached to the word; that says I need to sit at a different section of the 'Family' bus. And to this I say, I'm Asian - I come from a culture that revels in its familial ties, and my culture has created a person like me, and my family is with me. So when you say Family First, I say, 'Thank you very much. Now sit your ass down and let my family and I tell you what we want. Don't speak for me'.

I want to get married and I did get married.
Now watch me jump for joy.

Ten

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 16:07:00 +0000

That's the number of years I've been blogging - and just like that, I've documented my entire twenties.
So to celebrate the 10 years of me acrceting this gigantic thought bubble that may or may not outlast me in the 'real world', I shall begin with a collection of photos that I absolutely love, and that I've shared over the past two years on this blog. I shan't connect them to the actual posts, so if you're hideously bored one day, you can spend a lazy Sunday arvo looking them up to find out what the real story was.

It has seen me at my darkest place

My most loquacious (and happiest)

And I miss pouring out my thoughts.

My rate of posting this year has been quite appalling. The words are there, but the blog feels tight and claustrophobic - as if I've outgrown it somehow... but I haven't quite worked out how I've changed and where I'd like to take this.

Looking at some of the posts from a decade back (they were migrated over from my livejournal account - I moved over to blogger sometime in 2006), I'm astounded by how things are different. My first entry ever was this description of how I felt when I flew back to Melbourne from Singapore, and I was agonising over how it felt like the entire city was Pleasantville (confer: movie of the same name), and how it felt 2 dimensional against the spices, the colours, the enveloping humidity, the cacophony of crowd that was Singapore.... and a decade later, the view outside my window has changed. The city is crowded. The bars are familiar to me. And I've pounded the pavements beyond my doorstep: through Carlton Gardens; up Lygon; down Lonsdale; up Swanston; dangled by the Yarra; holed up in the State Library; comatosed on a sunny, grassy patch somewhere; lost in Perth; London; San Francisco; Chicago; Kyoto; Prague; and the hideous bus ride in Morocco... and I haven't even been back to Singapore in the past 3 years (even though I am itching to return though). And I am here, where I want to be, almost doing the things I want to be doing. (Incidentally, it's Melbourne Open House this weekend - see you around if you're heading out!)

I hope I find my way back to this blog soon. I think of it as a pet waiting patiently by the door. I'm on the other side, I've got the keys in the lock, and I just need to turn the knob.

Best Weekend Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 13:17:00 +0000

Okay, as requested, I've got pictures and I've videos for you - click the photos to get them enlarged. Blogger does this cool thing where it pulls out the photos of the post in an overlay and you can scroll through the lot in large format. We'll start off with 1 of the videos, I've put the entrance video (the vid we played at our reception before walking in) right at the end of this post:

Next up, some of my favourite pictures of the day (and from two of the photographers). The amazing thing is that we ended up with five photographers! Gabe Wong (who y'all should be familiar with - he's in the first pic below with Emily) got me these two incredibly cool photographers with a whole gamut of techy stuff to make us look pretty. Here's Gabe with Emily (my groomette) getting through some last minute details just before we headed out for photos:

These are Nic's really close mates from when he was studying in Brisbane:

The Grooms' Party:

Our closest friends:

My mates from Uni and my Venetian gang (if you listened to my speech in my last post, you'd understand why... wait, actually, I'm sure they've featured in this blog in London, Brighton, Venice, Singapore etc..)

This is me, walking in. We came in from opposite sides and met at the centre.

Yeap, on a bridge.

This is at Carlton Gardens

If you read about a particular photo I wanted... this was the one I was talking about:

The quintessential Asian Wedding YUMMMMM SENNNGGGGG

And if you're friends with me on Facebook, you'd have seen a tonne of these photobooth pictures. They were ridiculously awesome!

Tim and Nic Tie the Knot from Shushan on Vimeo.

I'm really, really excited to be sharing this with you

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 00:17:00 +0000

Okay, this is pretty brilliant and I'm really happy to share this video with you. Thanks to Celina's sister, Bernice, I have the privilege of sharing with you my speech from my wedding night. Check out the youtube thumbnail: it's my spirit fingers!

This will stick

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sun, 20 May 2012 14:21:00 +0000

I just wanted to quickly do a post to say that I'm at a whole different place from Tuesday - and thanks for the well-wishes. The week was hard at work and I'll most likely transition to a different job in the near future, but I'm in a much better headspace. I got this really sweet text message from Adaptive Radiation on Friday night and we had a bit of a chat, and I have to say, despite everything, I'm still very, very grateful that I'm here.

One of the amazing things this year is that despite how challenging it has been, I've also been brought to a place where I can't deny how incredibly loved I am. I know I haven't written very much about the wedding - I'm still processing my thoughts - but we had around 25 to 30 guests flying in for the wedding, and about 80-odd at the ceremony and a special 52 at the dinner reception. The funny thing was that when we were talking about how we met, I realised that a huge bunch of them were my friends through blogging - mostly from LiveJournal when there was that community function and it brought together all these people with common interests (before Facebook was open to the masses).

The guy who married us - Gary - I met him when I was around 19. He was one of the pioneers of this gay-friendly church in Singapore, did his degree in divinity the London, then got ordained. Now he's helping to plant gay-friendly churches all over Asia. That's pretty cool.

There's Gabe Wong who some of you know via Pinkboard. We've met up a couple of times in different cities - the most interesting thing is the first time I met him, I was holidaying with Clement (my best man) in Sydney - so he met my best man waaay, waaay back. He's also been a real mentor to Nic and I when we had relationship dramas in Perth. And one of the best things that happened during the wedding, was how my friends started to click with each other and begin these amazing conversations which I hope will continue deep into the years to come.

I met my whole Venetian gang through blogging. In fact, most of them were from Ryddy who I met before I met Gary. We used to do lunches at the national university of singapore when he was studying there, and I was back for holidays. He got me to pack my bags and move to London once, and when I got there, he told me about a fortnight later that he was off to Singapore because he'd landed this amazing job (yes... leaving Nic and I in London going... what the.....). From him, I met this whole other group of bloggers - we've done quite a few trips together in Brighton, London, Venice and I can't wait for our next trip together.

Anyway, that's just a bit of an update to say, I'm here. It's been a hard trek. This was the first year where I felt like people had really done me wrong. It's funny, I must've lived a very sheltered life till now because I've been woefully underprepared for what hit me. And there's been this blockage - this bitterness, and anger, resentment, unforgiveness that I haven't been able to walk through and leave behind. And I really want to come through on the other side and get to a place where I'm stronger for having been through all that. I want to be able to say, "I don't have to win. I don't need justice to be served. I just want my happiness returned to me and to believe that such a thing is possible". And I'm ready to grab onto this strange trapeze and launch off.

(That wasn't a quick post was it?)

Today was a very hard day.

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:49:00 +0000

Today was an incredibly hard day. And I feel somewhat fearful that I'm wading back into the same situation again tomorrow and the day after. IDAHO (International Day Against Homophobia) falls in two days and to be in a place where I recently felt like my directors made me so uncomfortable being gay and being unvalued, it's very sad. I've never felt like this before. And it's also sad because I genuinely love my colleagues - in fact, most of them came to my ceremony. Anyway, I just want to record here that this and next week will be the toughest times of my life (I have a court case next week to try and evict tenants who haven't paid rent since February - a situation that has been just incredibly stressful and disheartening).

But today is only 24 hours, and it is almost over. And then we begin again.

Yes, I'm one of those people who can't run.

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 12:47:00 +0000

You can tell from this picture:

I had a really good day yesterday

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 11:03:00 +0000

But I want to be ridiculous too....

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 07:12:00 +0000

Posted on my Facebook wall today:

So if you look at how clear I am in this photo.... (I didn't resize the photo... so click on it - there's actually a fourth person to my left... your right). Anyway, this photo makes me think two things: 1) I laugh at a slower pace to everyone, or 2) I take longer to work out a punchline. Or maybe... just maybe... I have ESP: extra sensory photogenetics. Zeddie Little, on the other hand, does not have ESP. He just runs slowly. And smiles with the sunlight in his hair while doing just that. (Yes, I'm clearly jealous).

There's been this slow uptake in photo-taking which I know is going to just explode after my exam on Monday. And the thing about photos is that if you're with just the right people, it becomes absolutely magic.

And here's an example of magic photos: Click Here.

In pursuit of that very, very quiet space.

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 06:37:00 +0000

I like this photo of Jason deCaires Taylor's underwater sculpture off the coast of Mexico (it follows on from his incredible installation at Grenada). For me it's a woman at the bottom, in silent prayer, desperately beseeching to the waves to just hold still for a moment. Can you imagine being down there: the tubes to your lungs, your breathing drumming against the inner skin of your ears, the light filtering softly against your half-closed eye-lids, the current tugging at the very edge of your senses calling you away, the loss of connection with ground, gravity, people... and here's this woman, in stone, capturing an exhaled sigh of regret....

... that's me.

That's me at this very moment. And I don't want to be here.

I think it's time for me to admit that I've taken on way too much this trimester -I'm doing this university thing on a trimester basis, I'm working, running the student publication, doing this competition, and planning a wedding (obviously I didn't learn my lesson from this post here). I've just finished one of my exams today and the relief hasn't come like in previous times. Before, there was this wash of joy and celebration... but today: just a quiet seeping of distant happiness in my life, and a measure of the pressure lifting.

The exam was hard - harder than anything I've done previously. And I walked in there fully prepared, but at a prepared mental state of around 70% of how I know I can perform. I was glad it was hard. Had it been an easy exam, I think I would've been at a supreme disadvantage given how quickly the elements would've been to solve for everyone else so similarly prepared. But in this instance, I think I was still able to keep at it and keep pace (Thank God and Jonathan Best).

I've been distracted and, if I'm really honest, I've been very down in the last three weeks. Nic and I rented out our place in Perth, and the tenants have been a complete nightmare. And for someone with an architecture background, this has been a huge violation to my senses, a real abuse of space - space that I have loved, space that I've made my family from. The only time I've ever felt this tremendous sense of loss was when Celina abruptly passed away. But in that instance, my grief was something precious to me that let me hang on longer to her. In this case, the grieving is just wasteful and utterly demolishing; demoralising. We're not sure if the insurance we have will cover us, and we're not sure the real estate agent is really acting in our best interests. In fact, given how long this has been dragging out (since late February), I think there is room for a bit of doubt here about the level of competency we've been dealing with. I think the trust level in the real estate agents really dipped just before Easter as I was preparing for this exam, and by golly, I've been distracted and really pushing the proverbial dung-heap uphill. It's been awful. And truth be told, I've never felt like the law will let us down - but in this instance, I think there has been a great injustice served and that faith in the system... is irretrievable. And it just keeps going on and on and on...

- - -- --- -- ----
Okay, that was a bit melodramatic of me wasn't it? I now present you with an interlude of happiness: I thought this CEO of OMGPOP (who produced the addictive viral game, Draw Something) was bloody ethical in what he did. Read this article here before coming back to my self-pitying sob story: Click Here. (although it follows on the back of some incredibly bad press on Dan Porter).
-- - ---- - - ------ -

back to the story:
The funny thing I was doing all these mock exam papers yesterday, and I just couldn't get anything to work. I couldn't carry exclusion clauses forward to other contracts, my knowledge of collateral contracts was sketchy, my knowledge of implied terms was woeful.... and I said to Nic, 'I think this is very bad'. But what broke my heart was that I felt Nic had finally reached the wall. He was going to buy a ticket and fly to Perth and protest outside the house, or plead for them to go away. And that really affected me on a very primal level. I thought he was going to put himself in danger, and the idea of losing him versus losing the $7,000 or $8,000 or whatever the cost will be (Oh God, please help us - what if they destroy the house?) was just ridiculous. It made me feel more vulnerable than I've ever felt for a long time. I was like, 'we're getting married in two-and-a-half weeks!' and 'who cares? It's terrible. I hate it. I'm really down about it, but at least you're here. Please don't go'. I sound like I'm begging. Yes, that's exactly what it was.

I know we're suppose to be all loved up and all entering this period. But it shocked me how incredibly needy and in love I was, how vulnerable I was. I felt shell-shocked... I can't tell if it's because I was shocked he contemplated putting himself in that danger like that, or because this was a person who meant so much to me that I was afraid of losing. I dunno if I'm making sense. But it's scary to need someone like that. It makes you.... feel that clammy feeling, that nausea , that fear - and I really felt it last night. And it kept me awake in bed for hours... all the while thinking, 'I'm going to die for my exam tomorrow'...

I have a regret. And it is this: I was here in Melbourne last year, and Nic was moving our things out of the house. The neighbours came over and asked if we were moving out because they knew someone who needed a place to live. It turned out to be a Thai student who was pregnant, she wanted a home for her baby and I felt really moved by her story. She came along with a transvestite, and I was like... okay, I suppose I'm supporting the GLBT community. But two tenants just opened our eyes to this shocking side of the world and life and how.... evil, callous and cruel people really are. And there's lesson to be learnt here... but it's still being taught to us.

[As a bonus whine for my overseas readers: I would suggest not investing in Australian property if you're going to rent it out. Apparently, if your tenants don't pay their water bill, you get saddled with it. AND you can't switch off their water - so you keep paying for it even though you're trying to evict them. On top of everything. And they damage everything.........]

Wow.
I know my life will get better. And this is just one tiny blip in the line of good and great things that will come. But I'd like to keep a record here of this moment, how entirely tragic and terrible it's been.

Wait. I feel like I should end on a more positive note..... let me try:
So, I've been finding that when I feel lousy, music and Glee really makes a huge difference. This song in particular, it's meant so much to me in the last fortnight:

I've decided to convince all my mates to send me individual clips of them dancing to this to stitch up for the wedding night. hahah. I'm actually incredibly touched that my mates are flying in for our big day, especially my best man, Clement and Gabe Wong!

Okay, onwards to studying for my next exam. And then.... the wedding prep frenzy.

YAY.

Scott Bradlee doses you with his century of music education

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 12:49:00 +0000

This guy is amazing. He's playing 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' in the style of the decades of the 20th Century. My favourites are the '1960s Pyschadelic Rock' and '2000s Modern Alt Rock' and '2010s Modern Dance Pop' (which kinda feels very 'Rent'-esque to me...). Very very awesome - though I have squint audio-ly to try and pick up the thematic song sometimes. Am going to spend tomorrow checking out the rest of his videos while banging my head against the keyboard trying to finish this assignment....

... I love everybodddddyyyyyyyyy.

Just wanted to share this with you

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:43:00 +0000

I applaud people who can bear to open themselves to the feeling of loss time and time again, and still find the courage to continue caring.

Blood Brother Trailer from Blood Brother on Vimeo.

Adaptive Radiation and the Alexander Skarsgard Effect

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 03:32:00 +0000

This is brilliant. I'm sorry I don't have a source for this image. I saw it on Brenda's facebook page and had a bit of a laugh so I thought I'd share it - plus, I think my blog (which I've cruelly left semi-abandoned this month - and I'm making up for it today) needs a bit of Alexander Skarsgard. (woof!)

Well, this was pretty much how I felt when I met Adaptive Radiation just under a fortnight ago. It's strange because when you've been reading someone's blog for so long, and you feel like you've spoken to that person before, there's this sense of familiarity which you feel is such a given. Which it isn't. Clicking with people is a rare thing. But I think there was such a background to meeting up with him (Nic came along as well), that I found it one of the easiest first-encounters I've ever had. (Plus, his home's going featured for an apartment shoot / write-up - so that's pretty much someone I can do coffee with already). I love that he's also based in the city, so I'm looking forward to our couples' dinner night thingamajig soon in the city.

The funny thing was Nic was saying, 'he's really tall right? I read that on his blog a while back'. At this point, Adaptive Radiation's walking towards us from a distance and I'm thinking... no, I don't think he's that tall. He's probably just slightly taller than us. As he gets nearer, Nic goes, 'I'm pretty sure he's really tall'.

And I'm still going, 'Nah, we're tall Asians, he's probably just a bit taller'.

OMJB. He towers over Nic and I, making us feel like tiny gaysians. I'm like that little girl in the photo above going, 'What did your mum feed you... WHY is life so unfair?'

If you ever get the chance to meet Adaptive Radiation, you must persuade him to let you read his professional bio which comes across as incredibly warm and dedicated. If you were in the same field as he, he'd be the kind of guy you'd gravitate towards and beg to mentor you while plying him with rich indonesian food. Nom nom.

John Cleese Carefully Considers Your Futile Comments

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 02:38:00 +0000

I'm actually not sure if this is John Cleese's words or him speaking out a script by Michael Palin (his colleague on Monty Python). In any case, it doesn't detract from the stellar quality of Cleese's mind. I particularly love what is said about religions being started by these incredible minds that often speak metaphorically, and how such literal interpretation centuries later creates all sorts of nonsense.

It does make me wonder though: I've often heard it said that the funnier a person tends to be, the darker the pain that drives him or her to humour.

Ricky Martin still rocks my world

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:08:00 +0000

OMJB. Unbelievably: Ricky Martin still has it. He completely sizzles as he works the chair in this trailer from the next Glee episode.

A pity they copped out on the wiggling..... oh well, can't have it all!
Now... to pick up Spanish. Onwards to Movida! (well, more like Movida Next Door).

Matt Corby's a demigod of Sound and Fury. Here's his song 'Brother'

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 03:21:00 +0000

This is so unbelievably amazing. His voice is like everything I love about Australia - its grit, its masculinity, its beauty. It's like waking up in the morning on a picnic mat in the middle of a vineyard and smelling dirt so quieScent but alive, so alive.

Bloody hell. I didn't realise he was 21. This is so f-ed. He's going to be ridiculously good when he's 35. OMJB.

Midsumma Festival

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:03:00 +0000


It was a super warm day - and considering how ridiculously cold it has been in Melbourne - it was brilliant!

Nic and Andrew larkin' about

Then I bumped into a fellow
pinkboard blogger: Grant from Gay and Away.

More Andrew

Bumped into another pinkboard blogger:
Shannon Boh from Aussie Space Time Traveller

Summer really belongs to these incredibly fit boys.
But as beautiful as they are,
they don't come close to Jonathan Best. OMJB

Gotta love Drag Queens with their baggages

Detour to Fitzroy Gardens as we were walking back home

Let's be intense: let's talk about Death and God - Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:41:00 +0000

As an admittedly rabid fan of Futurama, I have always wanted to do a bit of a tongue-in-cheek piece on the 'Stop-and-Drop' Suicide Booths in the cartoon series. I think we don't treat death with sufficient humour - and the few that do, probably do it more for the ripples of muffled indignant gasps than as a real opener to discourse on the topic.

I came across Terry Pratchett's video 'Choosing to die' via Facebook today. He starts off in the first couple of minutes with his beautiful and articulate manner, and I think there's something deeply intelligent and yet irreverent about the way he bumbles and cajoles the topic of Capital-D-Death into the camera frame.
I was struck by this image of a diminished author as a brave wanderer: off to climb a taboo mountain in this brand new world - but things change as the video progresses, and the ending, for me, was something I didn't quite expect.

I think I'll let you watch the video first - I couldn't watch it in one sitting. In fact, I had to take off and head to the nearest leash-free park with my dogs for a bit, before coming back to complete it. I suggest having a piece of paper next to you so you can record down your thoughts when they strike you.

Terry Pratchett - Choosing to die from Lisette Leona on Vimeo.

I started the video with this hope that if we treat death in an irreverent manner, there would be none of this clinging to 'Dignity'. I felt a lot of the rhetoric surrounding the rallying cry for people in support of assisted dying / suicide lands on this notion of 'going out with grace' and 'on your own terms'. And I thought, okay, if we can joke about it, see some macabre humour in this, perhaps we might start to question the Fairness of this Vanity (the Vanity Fair?). Yes, I do think demanding dignity with your death is a form of vanity that punishes the people around you.

I took note of the time and my reactions at various points. These are a few:

At 07:14 - Terry discusses this idea of a one-stop place where you enter, kill yourself, then have your body cremated or prepared for flight/ dispatch. They tip-toe around it for a bit before admitting that there was something 'Nazi' about an industry of/ around death.

At 25:40 - Terry asks the question: who owns your life?

At 27:30 - a statement is made: knowing that you can go gives you strength. I am impressed that many people make arrangements to attend the assisted dying centre, but never actually do so. The option itself is sufficient and comforting. And it makes me wonder - if such a procedure was made legal, would it too have a similar effect? Terry struggles with some of the things the person running the organisation is saying - particularly the idea of a society where anyone may choose to die on a whim. And I think he might feel this way because such a thought diminishes the gravity in which he's applying himself to the question.

I stop around the 37:00 mark. His name is Andrew Colgan and I contemplate not finishing the video. What his mum says absolutely breaks my heart, and I hope never to put my own mother in that position.

At 40:00 - Terry and his assistant sit like they've had the wind knocked out from them. It is a breathlessness that leaves your eyes free to roam around searching in myopia for some small comforting answer.

I write down some other times, but at this stage, I'm not recording any thoughts.
53.18
57

At the end of the video, I get a sense that it is impossible to approach death with an irreverence. It remains one of the few things still sacred and unknowable - and it is disquieting to see Terry's intellect grapple with the consequences of having such a choice. And I'm not where I thought I'd be. I thought an ideal scenario would be a system where the courts would make a declaration that allowed such a choice - like how parents of intellectually disabled women can seek a declaration to permit sterilisation of their child. I'm left thinking, this isn't something I support. I don't think it's evil, but it leaves me inescapably sad.

I want to say, 'Come on, there's another way'. But I take my cue from Terry. And I look at that expression he has when he's in that room - he's spent a sliver of time with Andrew and with the older couple - and he arrives at a destination that I claw towards: yes, there is another way, but this is their way. And I just feel sad that we're here and at this point where these are the questions we have given in to asking. Yes - dammit - we don't need to ask every question. We don't.

I suppose I feel this way because I'm moved by the people around the ones who have chosen to die. They say they don't want this, or they don't understand it, but they support the person nonetheless. But I'm not sure that's entirely fair or right for them. I believe time and the nature of containing meaning in carefully turned phrases diminishes our understanding of death so that we never really understand it until it's in front of us.

What bothers me slightly is if someone, looking at this video, then says to me - what if it isn't about assisted suicide? What if it's you choosing to get married to someone of the same-sex. True, it's a decision that is reversible, unlike the choice to die.... but what if the people that support you do so only because the love you, not because they agree or understand. And that bothers me. It really bothers me.

See, the thing about death is that you're pulled automatically into questions (wait, for me at least) about God's plans, Christianity, Divine Intervention, the soul. For me, every time I approach something like this intellectually (or, as rationally as can be, I guess, in a moralistic way), I try and frame things in relation to the soul. Eg. I believe homosexuality isn't genetic, habit or upbringing - it simply exists as a condition of the soul. You have a soul that wants you to do this. Simple.

For Assisted Dying..... hmm.. Let's see: I think the soul wants to spend as much time as possible with the body - even in pain. I think. It's like someone going blind choosing to look at the sun for as long as he can because there's no going back. This is it. And it's blindingly painful but this is it. Nic and I once had a talk about the dogs. He's said that if they are in agony or pain, they're in the end-stage of a terminal illness and there is no way to alleviate their pain via medication / medical treatment - he would suggest to me the idea of ending their lives. He wouldn't do so without my agreement (Thank Jonathan Best), but he'd want me to go with his decision - being the vet and all.

I just don't see it that way. I believe a dog wants to live for as long as it can live. And it is my job, nay, duty to help them do so as pain-free as possible in that situation. But my stand now is I'm not going to inject my dog with something that's going to kill it. It... wow. wow. I can't believe I'm here. I remember this conversation while Nic was in his second year of vet school. A senior that had graduated came over for drinks and pizza, and I could see her crumple in front of me when she said: I don't want this. I didn't gain all this knowledge and skill so that I can spend my days killing dogs. I've been out seven months and I've put down more than 60 dogs. And the worst part is - when I see a puppy brought into the clinic now, I feel so incredibly sad because I know in that cupboard there is a way to end its life in under 30 seconds.

I'm not sure how it's going to be when I'm actually put in a position as that - this is all conjecture at this point.

Upcoming Part II - The God of Mice and Men.

Oh, The Places You'll Go! - Dr Seuss' best book - as retold by Teddy Saunders and the Burning Man chook

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 22:04:00 +0000

I've been having the strangest first week of any year I've been in - much of it really, really surprising in a grand way, but also peppered with some silly lows. It's not anything life-changing or bad, but for some reason, everyone on Facebook's been posting these incredibly sad photos of animals getting tortured or killed in horrific ways (like children lighting firecrackers in the mouths of dogs etc), and I've been sucked into this cycle of just reading and looking at the photos, getting really down about the world and the news (in a maudlin teenage way), and just having to disappear into the corner with a fantasy novel.

This video made by some of the visitors to Burning Man 2011 is unbelievably beautiful - I love it. And the book is one of my staple favourites. This is the reason why people should have at least one fantasy novel / book on hand in case of dire emergencies... I am so grateful for this solid dose of joy. And the colours. And the music - the score is excellent. I'm happy, happy, happy. It is Sunday, and we're off to a bloody brilliant week ahead.

Find the Bright Places!

Veg Out St Kilda Community Garden

noreply@blogger.com (Geek Buck) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 06:46:00 +0000

Okay, this is kind of embarrassing - I've failed my new year resolution to post up a photo every three days and it's... er... the 4th of January. However, I shall pretend that since the 4th IS three days after the 1st (when I actually made the resolution), posting today still complies with the resolution. All is good. ALL IS GOOD (grrrr). This photo is from the Veg Out St Kilda Community Garden - taken maybe about three weeks ago? Not sure. It's located opposite Luna Park, so from some of the plots, you get the beautiful curves of the old wooden structure of the roller coaster in the background. I really like this swan man sculpture they have there holding what I think is a poppy flower? Maybe it has some connection to our Defence Force? I took this photo because I kinda loved the way this cactus garden was put together.

Okay, more from the garden:

Swan Man - oh wait. it doesn't look like a red poppy... more like a red carnation. which means.... 'my heart aches for you' - sheesh. so NEEDY.

Not immune to the proliferation of 'i-XYZ's, the garden and it's

i-Scary-Crows sign. or maybe it was Icarus Crows.... but someone changed the order of the letters? Hm, come to think of it, that's a bloody nice phrase: Icarus Crows... New blog title... anyone?

Clearly not in Kansas.

weird cactus tree thingamajig. I'm sure Nic would know the name of this, but... *shrug* he's sooo far away in the kitchen.