Tessa and Zach Say the Funniest Things

Got to love teenagers

2020-05-16T18:27:00.002-04:00

Times have been interesting.

Jenn and I have been focusing on our books while the kids have been bored.

We did manage to put some puzzles together, but we did manage to make it to WICKED right before this all went down.

A great time was had by all.

Check out our book series...

https://ssbks.com/LR1

Smores date

2014-09-17T22:40:00.001-04:00

We got a fire pit from my parents last weekend And Zach wanting to have s'mores . Daddy said let's do it on Saturday there's nothing on the calendar. When daddy got home the next day he saw this on the calander.

Eyes bigger than your stomach

2014-08-13T23:20:00.002-04:00

Zach and Dad were about to eat dinner and Zach put his reading glasses on.

ZACH: I'm putting my reading glasses because my eyes hurt. The only problem is that if I wear glasses it can make my eyes bigger than my stomach!

Zach's Favorite Places

2013-10-13T17:44:00.001-04:00

My Favorite Places,

Name Zach Ko

My Room

The Pole

Chuck e Cheese

Italy where I can see Mario

TESSA Random Dad Card

2013-08-11T17:11:00.003-04:00

TESSA Father's day 2012

2013-08-11T17:11:00.000-04:00

TESSA Father's day 2013

2013-08-11T17:08:00.003-04:00

FROM ZACH to TESSA with LOVE

2013-08-11T17:07:00.003-04:00

TESSA: Daddy Birthday 2013

2013-08-11T17:06:00.000-04:00

This one came with a dollar bill. Tessa said she did not know what to get Daddy so she gave him a dollar.

ZACH: Happy B-day 2012

2013-08-11T17:03:00.002-04:00

Names

2013-08-03T21:01:00.001-04:00

ZACH: I would name my kid Minion Marvelous
TESSA: I would name my kid Kevin "whatever my lastname is"
ZACH: I think that Minion has a better ringtone
TESSA: I think that Kevin Banocy has a good ringtone

Hammy

2013-08-03T20:58:00.000-04:00

ZACH: I think I pulled a Hammy
DADDY: What? Do you know what that means?
ZACH: What is a Hammy, Do I even have one?

Chicken nuggets

2013-03-17T15:07:00.001-04:00

Tessa : what are chicken nuggets made of? How are they made?

Daddy: Take chicken and cut it up, bread it they bake or fry.

Tessa: What was the first part again?

Daddy: Cut up chicken?

Tessa: So there is no steak or duck?

Daddy: What? No.

Tessa shows Daddy a McDonalds thing that says "Stack 'em dunk 'em"
Tessa: it says Steaking and Ducking.

Daddy: That says, "Stack 'em dunk 'em".

Sore looser

2012-12-24T14:43:00.001-05:00

DeeDee: Zach, are you getting better at loosing games?
Zach: yeah
Mommy: What would you say to Tessa if she won?
Zach: It's okay, I'll win next time.

Stinkydoodles

2012-12-23T12:58:00.001-05:00

Zach and Tessa were making cookies with DeeDee. They were spending more time licking their fingers than making snickerdoodles.

Daddy: "Stop licking your fingers and make the cookie"

Zachy: "I love STINKY DOODLES, they taste so good!"

Bold president

2012-11-06T18:51:00.001-05:00

Zach: I hope you voted for Obama.
Daddy: I voted for myself.
Zach: can you do that?
Daddy: yes you can write in a vote. But I am not old enough to be elected. But maybe I voted for Pop Top.
Zach: he would be a bold president.
Daddy: I guess he would be Bold
Zach: yeah he has no hair...
Daddy: you mean Bald not Bold

Obama

2012-11-06T18:45:00.001-05:00

Zach: Mom, who are you going to vote for?
Mommy: it's a secret
Zach: I think that you should vote for Obama.
Mommy: do you like his plan for the economy?
Zach: no, I like that he plays basketball and likes dogs.
Mommy: sounds like a good reason to me.

Birthday card

2012-10-06T12:11:00.000-04:00

Zach was talking to grandma on the phone with Tessa in the car.

Zach: Tessa wants you to take her to Toys-R-us to get me a gift fo my birthday.

Tessa: I am getting you a card not a gift.

Zach: Oh she wants to get me a gift card.

Tessa: I said a card.

Skinny jeans

2012-10-06T12:04:00.001-04:00

Daddy went bike riding with his friends and then went to pick up the kids at the grandparents.

Zach: Why are you wearing skinny jeans?

Daddy: These are called bike shorts.

Most Disgusting thing ever

2012-08-13T19:48:00.002-04:00

Tessa and Zach were across the street playing with the neighbors for 20 Mins. Zach comes in this ensues:

Daddy: Why are you back so soon?

Zach: (out of breath) ...I just saw the most disgusting thing ever...mmmm...I don't even want to talk about it. Don't even ask me about it.

Daddy: (Turns off TV)

Mommy: Tell us about it.

Zach: They were watching a video of two naked people "doing it". It was disgusting. Then I went in their house and they were watching scary Clown movies on the iPad.

Daddy went over and checked out the Clown and found that they were harmless. He could not find anything on the couple "Doing it". Long discussions with children ensued...

10 minutes after Zach went to bed he got out of his room and said: Daddy I cannot sleep--everytime I close my eyes I see that disgusting stuff

Just try and think of something else.

Fancy word

2012-08-13T19:37:00.002-04:00

"I'm Sexy and I know it" came on the radio. Daddy started telling everyone that some kindergarden kid got suspended from school for singing that song even though it is on the M&M comercial. Zach started singing the song.

Mommy: Zach you don't want to sing that in school.

Zach: Sexy is just a fancy word for really cool...I'm really cool and I know it.

Motivated swimmers

2012-07-12T15:51:00.000-04:00

Daddy and Mommy decided to give the kids a little motivation for getting better times out of there very unmotivated childern.

Daddy: Kids, Mommy and Daddy have decided to pay you for improving you times in swim team. We will pay you a dollar for every second that you shave off of your time.

A couple days later...
Tessa: Daddy, you are going to have to stay at work a lot longer.

Daddy: Why is that?

Tessa: You have to make more money because you are going to be broke after you are done paying me for my times.

Daddy: I am glad to hear you are motivated.

2012-06-17T13:58:00.001-04:00

We were on the way back from Grandma and Grandpa's house and Zach was pouting and saying "nobody is nice to me". So Mommy statred making fun of him and we were all laughing at him.

Tessa: I want you to laugh at me

Daddy: We are making fun of him not laughing because he is funny

Tessa: Why wont you make fun of me?

Test

2012-05-15T20:14:00.001-04:00

Mommy: Zach, you get to take a test next week at Sylvan.

Zach: YEAH, I am so lucky. I LOVE tests. WooHoo... Mommy, what is a test?

Apple a Day

2012-05-15T20:13:00.000-04:00

Grandpa: Do you know what an apple a day does?

Zach: An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.

Grandpa: What about two apples

Zach: Two apples a day keeps the DENTIST away.