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2011 - My Highlights

2011-12-20T11:12:00.004+00:00

SO, WITH 2012 nearly upon us it's time to wrap up 2011 and explore the years finest automotive moments.

This is, by the way, my own personal highlights and I've limited myself to two per category otherwise I could carry on forever, so no grumbles if your favourite thing hasn't made it.

Motorsport

Audi wins Le Mans

The Audi team went through unbelievable lows during the race. Firstly, not long into the 24-hour race, when Alan McNish's No.3 car collided with a Ferrari 458 backmarker in the high-speed Esses after the Dunlop bridge and barrel-rolled through the gravel trap and into the tyre barrier. I, along with everybody else watching both at the track and on their TV's at home sat there, wide-eyed and open-mouthed fearing the worst. Fortunately, and miraculously, McNish was basically unharmed. A bit shocked and winded but basically OK.
The team were mightily releaved but they would have to go through the same emotions again later during the night when Mike Rockenfeller's car also struck a Ferrari 458, this time at the fastest part of the circuit, causing him to spear left into the barrier. We watched the helicopter pictures of the wreckage for minutes as the commentators speculated as to the condition of the driver. It later transpired that he had been able to get himself out of the car and was OK. A fact that seemed more incredible when pictures came out later of what was left of the car. So, with just one car left in the race being driven by what was effectively their 'youth team' they struggled on, driving flat out to stay ahead of the three Peugeot's and despite some dirty tactics from the French manufacturer (which, with a French race organiser, were always going to go unpunished) and against all the odds, Audi won a heroic Le Mans 24 by just 13.8 seconds, the fourth smallest winning margin in the races history.

Button wins Canadian Grand Prix
It had been a pretty average F1 season so far with Sebastian 'The Finger' Vettel dominating so Canada 2011 came as a bit of a shock. With rain falling expectations for Jenson were high as he typically exceeds in these conditions. However, on lap seven he crashed into his team mate Lewis Hamilton, putting Hamilton out of the race and causing the first of the afternoon's safety cars. Button was then slapped with a drive-through penalty for speeding behind said safety car, he re-joined the race in 18th. On lap 25 the race was red-flagged for over two-hours because of heavy rain. After the re-start Button continued to climb back through the field but a collision with Fernando Alonso sent him back to the pits with a puncture, put Alonso out of the race and caused another safety car. We would see several more safety cars before the end and a farcical display of slapstick marshalling. Having been stone dead last at one stage Button was now up to second place and closing fast on Vettel. Half-way round the very last lap Vettel slipped and Button was through. Did he lose concentration? Did he crack under the pressure from Button? Who knows, but it was an incredible Grand Prix.

New Cars

BMW M5

I'm a big fan of super-saloons and the M5 has always been the best of the bunch so a new one is always goung to be big news. Being the first M5 to feature a turbocharged engine there was some controversy surrounding it's launch, particularly amongst BMW M division die-hards, but the new car turned out to be an absolute cracker. Although, we really shouldn't be surprised about that now should we?

Renaultsport Megane 265 Trophy

Renault has been king of the hot-hatch for a long time now and this latest addition to the family continues that lineage in excellent fashion. Not only is it the fastest front-wheel-drive car ever to lap the fearsome Nurburgring Nordschliefe (beating it's hardcore R26.R predecessor) but it's also great to drive and it looks fantastic. Do affordable drivers cars come much better than this? Not really, no.

Concept Cars

Jaguar C-X16

This concept follows on from its bigger C-X75 sibling, the turbine-powered supercar, and uses many of its styling queues. It's a brilliant looking sports car, partly thanks to its proportions being just-so. If Jaguar have any sense they'll put this concept into production and soon. With any luck it'll handle pretty tidily too, although when it looks as good as this, it really doesn't matter how it drives!

Alfa Romeo 4C

Its bigger brother, the 8C, is one of the best looking cars of recent years and Alfa Romeo have proved that it was no fluke by producing this concept for the 4C. It should prove a better car to drive though with a mid-engined layout and a kerb-weight of less than a tonne. You can expect to see it on the streets soon(ish) and when you do it will certainly stop you in your tracks. Even without the girls.

Other Stuff

Gymkhana 4

Rally star Ken Block's Gymkhana series has stormed the internet since it began. With this fourth installation Ken went Hollywood as he introduced us to his new multipurpose Ford Fiesta Gymkhana car. Featuring new stunts, a bigger 'set', some innovative new camera positions and a guest apperance from Epic Meal Time and a whole load of dancers, Gymkhana 4 made for spectacular viewing and to date has had 13.3 million views and has earned the American countless fans across the world.

Goodwood Festival of Speed

Every year the Festival of Speed grows in every conceivable way; more spectators, more cars and more drivers. With everything from the latest supercars and concepts to F1 cars and their drivers with historic Grand Prix, Le Mans and WRC winning cars in between making appearances on the hillclimb course. There were donuts and burnouts aplenty in front of Goodwood house, not to mention the action on the dedicated rally course at the top and an apperance from the Red Arrows in the sky above. It's a must attend event for any petrolhead and if you've never been I suggest you do so soon.

Honourable Mention

Gran Turismo 5 Spec 2.0
Kazunori Yamauchi and his team at Polyphony Digital served up a whole host of improvements to their hugely popular game towards the end of this year. They also introduced some new cars and a couple of new tracks including the legendary Spa Francorchamps in Belgium. Cheers Kaz!

228mph Skoda at Bonneville
It's not because I am now a Skoda vRS owner, but I was pleased when Skoda celebrated 10 years of their vRS performance brand by breaking the forced induction 2.0-litre production class speed record on the Bonneville salt flats when their modified Octavia, driven by journalist Richard 'Dickie' Meaden, hit a top speed of 228mph.

Here's to a great 2012.

BBC/Sky F1 deal: Two fingers to the fans

2011-07-31T12:20:00.002+01:00

BY HANDING THE television rights to Sky, with the BBC only allowed half the races live, Bernie Ecclestone has sold out and pushed fans away from the sport they love.

Without the fans there would be no Formula One, fact. That is how sport in general works, it exists purely to entertain the fans that love it and without them it would simply die.

Formula one fans have had to put up with a lot, with the constantly increasing ticket prices the vast majority have been priced out of actually being able to attend races live, meaning they had to watch it at home on the TV. No bad thing in itself because TV coverage has improved massively, especially since the BBC took over the coverage two and a half years ago. But Bernie's constant drive for money has seen the rights to broadcast it split between the BBC and Sky Sports as of next year, meaning that once again, many fans can no longer afford to enjoy their favourite sport.

Here's how it will work; the BBC will show 10 of the 20 races live with highlights of the other 10 later that evening, Sky will show everything live. Incredibly, both Bernie and the BBC are saying that this is a good thing for fans. HOW IS IT GOOD?

The 'Upside'

They are saying that 'You'll still get to watch 10 of the races live for free!' Oh, brilliant. And the other 10? Well, in order to watch them we have to either fork out several hundred pounds a year to Rupert Murdoch (I won't go into all that right now but suffice to say, I dislike the man) for some channels we will never use and one we will use for a couple of hours for a few weeks of the year or we will have to avoid all TV, radio and internet for the whole day in case we find out the result before watching edited highlights several hours after the race has finished. Wow, I can't wait.

What's really annoying though is that the teams are also billing this change as a good thing. Why? Because they get more money, simple as that.

Better for fans?!

Colin Kolles, boss of HRT F1 Team said to Autosport, "If you would ask my colleagues after the meeting with Bernie Ecclestone, everybody is very happy. Bernie has shown again to his people, who are criticising him, what fantastic deals he has done. He has also done fantastic for the fans because it is not only 10 races on BBC live, you also have the other 10 races on at prime time, at 6pm, on BBC - which is even better because I don't believe that someone likes to wake up at 4am to watch an F1 race. This will bring much increased viewership and it brings a quite amazing deal to the stakeholders of F1. I think Bernie has shown again what a fantastic job he is doing and this has to be really appreciated."

I'm sorry, but what is this? "fantastic for the fans", having highlights at 6pm instead of the live race is "even better" and it will bring "increased viewership". This is utter nonsense. Viewing figures will definitely go down, there can simply be no arguments about that. Bernie himself said it just a few months ago, saying that moving to Sky would be "suicide" for the sport. The teams too have always been against moving away from free-to-air TV channels. The stench of hypocrisy surrounding this new deal is almost suffocating.

There's a word in that quote however, that tells us why everybody is so happy, "stakeholders". All Bernie and the teams care about any more is money, and to hell with what the fans think.

I'm no expert, but that's no way to run a sport.

Buying a car: Personality required

2011-07-20T16:57:00.002+01:00

THERE ARE CARS out there which are brilliant; they're fast, reliable, comfortable, practical and economical...but I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole!

The new McLaren MP4-12C (above) is a case in point, on paper it is considerably faster than its rivals, it is also more comfortable, has more technology, is more economical and is greener. Brilliant, you might say, it is the best car in every area, why would you want to buy anything else?

The trouble is we don't buy cars (especially ones that costs in excess of £160k) with our heads, we buy them with our hearts. That's why just about every magazine and TV show put the Ferrari 458 (right) ahead of the Macca; because it is too clinical, too cold and doesn't excite the driver like its Italian arch rival.

Choosing the underdog

There are many cars out there which are technically speaking, quite poor, but I would have one over its rivals because it looks better or sounds better or simply has more soul. For example, the new MG6 (left) has recently been launched and received less than glowing reviews from the motoring press.

However, if I was looking for a car in that segment I would walk right past the Ford Focus, the VW Golf and the Vauxhall Astra and I would hand my nearest MG dealer a cheque for £19k. It may not be as well equipped, as comfortable, as spacious or as cheap to run as the others but it drives well, it handles better than a car of its type has any right to and despite the fact that MG are now under Chinese control, there's still something about that octagonal badge on the nose that resonates with petrolheads in a way that other mainstream marques simply do not.

Faithful old friend

Let me talk about my own car for a moment. Back in 2008 I bought a Ford Fiesta Zetec-S (right) for £2395. It is great fun to drive, although you need to work the little 1.6-litre engine hard to keep pace, it handles sweetly, the gearbox is a joy to use and the relative lack of weight teamed with a willing chassis means you can chuck it into corners and have a right old laugh doing it.

Unfortunately, after just a couple of weeks there were some issues. Firstly; there was a fairly major oil leak, secondly; the gearbox needed to be sent back to Ford to be reconditioned due to a problem with 1st, 3rd and 5th gears caused by the previous owner, and I quote: "ragging it over speed bumps". Since then there has also been another oil leak, a failure of the ABS sensors a leak in the boot, some electrical gremlins and a not inconsiderable amount of rust. It can be vulgar to talk about money but let's just say that in the time I've had it I've spent more than I originally paid for the car putting things right.

Most other owners would have cut their losses and sent it to the scrapyard long ago but I have developed a relationship with it, it's like having a faithful old dog or a child or something. Just because it needs a bit of fixing now and again doesn't mean you simply give up and throw it away. I could have bought all manner of cars instead by now but to me the Fiesta has a personality, and that's something money cannot buy.

Function over form

This brings me onto the Bugatti Veyron (left). Much has been said about the Veyron, its million pound price tag, it's 1000bhp and its 250mph+ top speed. But do you know what, given all the money in the world I still wouldn't buy one. It simply doesn't excite me in any way. It is an ugly car, there's no other way of putting it, it really was function over form when VW's engineers were crafting its shape.

Yes it has a truly astonishing set of figures but when was the last time you felt excited while looking at some numbers? Then there's the way it can effortlessly cruise at 250mph, I don't want 250mph to feel effortless. I want the car to feel like it is trying to pull itself apart, like it is really trying its absolute hardest rather than sitting there twiddling its thumbs and yawning.

The Bugatti Veyron is a soulless and emotionless car, you don't drive it with a smile on your face, you drive it with a stern expression. I won't deny that it is a very impressive car, but I don't want to be impressed. Quite simply, I just want to have fun.

Le Mans 2011 - The ultimate stay-at-home guide

2011-06-09T17:27:00.000+01:00

WITH LE MANS less than two days away now, chances are you're not going. So let this guide help you enjoy it to the full from the comfort of your armchair.

Stay up

First things first, you need to stay up all night. At the track, people will tell you to make sure you get some sleep, but that's ok, because there's a lot of walking to do, and you'll be standing up in the hot sun a lot. At home all you've got to do is walk to the fridge for a beer every now and then so you've got no excuse! Stock up on energy drinks and coffee if you think you might struggle.

Beer

Beer is a necessity with Le Mans. Those at the track seem to make it a competition to see who can get the drunkest but you need to pace yourself, this is an endurance race not a sprint so you don't want to drink everything in the first couple of hours and the spend the rest of the race utterly shitfaced.

Food

Once again, to get the traditional Le Mans experience you need to barbecue. Burgers, sausages and (if you're feeling brave) chicken will be perfect, just make sure you cook it properly! Of course, barbecues are outside and you can't take the TV out there, what you need is...

Radio Le Mans

Broadcast from the track it provides truly great commentary on the action. If, for whatever reason you need to leave the room for a bit and cannot enjoy Eurosport's expert coverage simply take your laptop or phone with you and go to radiolemans.com.

Twitter

The TV and radio coverage is very good but they can only provide so much. For paddock goings-on and pictures, make sure you follow these people:

@24hoursoflemans - official English language account for the race.

@antdavidson - Peugeot driver.

@AllanMcNish - Audi driver.

@alex_wurz - Peugeot driver.

@DarrenTurner007 - Aston Martin driver.

@radiolemans - official account for the radio station, they retweet a lot of good Le Mans related stuff.

There's plenty of other great people to follow so keep your eyes open.

The race

I suppose it's worth mentioning the race itself. It seems we may have a classic race on our hands with the Peugeot's and Audi's pretty evenly matched on pace and reliability. There's even reports that rain is possible to spice things up a bit. Should be a good one, make sure you enjoy it!

Aston Martin's black sheep

2011-06-01T16:41:00.001+01:00

ASTON MARTIN ARE are proving that a little cosmetic surgery is enough to pull the wool over the eyes of those with more money than sense.

Here's a question; would you pay over £30k for a small Toyota city car? Thought not, how about if I stick an Aston Martin badge over the Toyota one and throw in a bit of leather? Still no? Well Aston Martin are doing just that and have already found 400 ~~idiots~~ buyers who are willing to fork out the minimum 30 grand asking price.

The Toyota IQ is a very good car, it is small and economical yet capable of comfortably carrying four adults. It might not set your trousers on fire but it is a tidy handler and can hold it's own amongst city traffic too. What Aston Martin do is ship a fully assembled, £12k IQ from Japan then 150 workers set about slapping a new nose on the front, re-stitching the interior and super-gluing a couple of Aston badges on before rolling it out the door and adding adding over £18k to the price tag.

It may seem like madness but there is some logic behind it.
Aston Martin drivers like their cars, but in a city, a V12 engined car that's as wide as a bus and as valuable as most of the surrounding houses isn't the most practical choice. What these people need is a city car. Why not just buy an IQ then? Because it doesn't have the right image, simple as that. These people need everyone to know that they have money, so even though it's basically the same car they'll happily stump up the extra just so passers-by know that they can afford to.

The other reason is the upcoming EU legislation which will average out a car makers CO2 output across their entire range of cars. This is bad news for makers like Aston because sportscars, by their very nature, produce a lot of carbon dioxides. Having a small, frugal car in your line-up will bring the average figure down by a significant amount.

Don't get me wrong, the Cygnet is a very good little car. The problem is that the Toyota is just as good but costs less than half as much. It may not have posh seats or a desirable badge on it's nose but I'd rather make do with a normal car and pocket the £18,000 that I'll save.

I don't need to 'get it' though, the Cygnet is not aimed at me, it is aimed at the kind of person who spends £10k on a watch without thinking twice or who uses iPads as drinks coasters. As long as they 'get it' that's all that matters and if the 400 deposits already on the order books is anything to go by, there are plenty of ~~stupid~~ rich people who do.

I have a theory!

2011-03-28T19:18:00.001+01:00

I BELIEVE THERE is only one car maker out there right now that doesn't make a single bad car. By my logic, this makes them the best manufacturer in the world. Just don't laugh when I tell you who it is.

People may talk about Ferrari, Pagani, Bugatti and Lamborghini as producing great cars but these don't count because they don't have a big enough range of cars for it to be possible to make a bad car (although some still manage it).

I'm talking about mainstream manufacturers that produce many thousands of cars every year and have an entire range of different cars, from superminis and family saloons to MPVs and 4x4s.

You might think "well it's clearly Ford, they always make the best cars", and you'd have a fair point. Most Fords are indeed excellent but the latest Ka is a real disappointment.

What about BMW? Same story I'm afraid. While cars like the 3 series and 5 series are class leaders they also make the ghastly X6. VW make the Beetle, Vauxhall make the Antara, Renault make the Koleos, I could go on.

This is the problem, plenty of manufacturers make terrifically good cars but they all have that one model that lets the side down. A bit like a family where the mum is a doctor, the dad is a scientist, the daughter is at university studying to become a lawyer but the son spends his days in McDonalds flipping burgers. The parents will say they are proud of him but secretly they wish he'd tried a bit harder at school.

However, there is one manufacturer that makes good cars right across the board, a manufacturer without a single duffer it its range.

And that manufacturer is...

Yep, that's right. According to my system, Skoda are the best car manufacturer in the world. The uneducated amongst you may laugh at this thought but you'd be wrong to do so.

Now part of the unfortunately named VAG (or Volkswagen group) Skoda have shaken off the bad image they used to have and are now producing cars of genuine quality.

Lets examine the evidence. The Fabia is a very good little car, based on the VW Polo but cheaper, it's solidly built, good to drive and reliable. There's also a fast vRS version.

The Roomster is equally good, providing plenty of space and quality. Then there's the Golf based Octavia and the Yeti 4x4. Both extremely capable and high quality yet very affordable.

All these cars sit right amongst the top cars in their class but the real jewel in Skoda's crown is the rather presumptuously yet aptly named Superb.

The Superb really is as it's name suggests, superb. It offers levels of quality and refinement that you'd find in cars costing twice or even three times as much. Add in a good driving experience, reliability, economy and in estate form, a truly cavernous boot and you've got an outstandingly good car.

So there you have it, the best car maker in the world is Skoda. I just hope they don't suddenly release something crap and make me look foolish!

My top ten worst cars

2011-03-21T18:19:00.007+00:00

I RECENTLY WROTE on this very blog about my favourite cars. While that was fun I find it's always more fun to write about things you hate, so here it is...my top ten worst cars in the world.

As with my top ten favourite cars, this list isn't in any kind of order but here they are.

Toyota Prius

There are so many reasons to hate the Prius; the smug look on the owners faces as they waft about the place, fully believing that by driving it they have saved an entire family of polar bears all on their own, the fact that when driven normally (i.e. not driving everywhere at 8mph) it is no greener that any normal hatchback or the fact that it's simply not a very good car. Pick any, because they're all justified.

Citroen Saxo

I hate the Citroen Saxo, but most of all I hate the people who own them. When it was introduced it came with a free insurance deal, making it popuar with young people and young people are idiots! They took the Saxo to their hearts and proceeded to modify them under the false impression that they were improving them. The big wheels and lowered suspension actually hinder performance instead of helping and the awful bodykits are just offensive to look at. Seriously, I saw the car on the right and felt like my eyes had been raped!

VW Beetle

The beetle was invented by the worlds most evil man, a certain Mr. A. Hitler. This is not the only reason to hate the Beetle; its engine was in the wrong place (it took Porsche 40 years to make a rear-engined car drive properly), it was adopted by hippies as an eco-car despite actually spitting out quite a lot of carbon dioxides and worst of all, it is the reason behind that abysmal Herbie film with Lindsay Lohan. The new Beetle is crap as well!

Chrysler PT Cruiser

The PT Cruiser was one retro-styled step too far. Trying to cash in on the retro scene, Chrysler designed the PT Cruiser to look like American cars of old but it looks more like it was designed using a jelly mould. The dodgy looks were backed up by equally ropey mechanicals that left the driver feeling like they were driving something that actually was made of jelly. It was joined by an ill-judged convertible model that did nothing to improve the PT's credentials.

Reva G-Wiz

Just the sight of a G-Wiz fills my entire body with sheer hatred. It is a godforsaken little misery box that is good for absolutely bugger all! It's an electric car with a range of just 40 miles, this figure drops dramatically though if you want to use the radio, lights, heater or wipers. So if it's a cold and rainy night you're in trouble. Also, it is classed as a 'quadricycle' so it doesn't have to pass the saftey tests that a proper car does which means that if you crash it you will die.

Hyundai Accent

The Hyundai Accident isn't a bad car by traditional standards, no it's crime is far worse: mediocrity. It might not have as many faults as some cars but those other cars have good points as well, their faults are simply quirks. The Hyundai is dull and has precisely 0 personality. Several attempts to 'sex it up' with faux sporty models were futile because they were just as horrible and simply brought to mind a phrase which includes the words 'polishing' and 'turd'!

Alfa Romeo Arna

Imagine a car with the reliability and build quality of a Japanese car and the style and design flair of an Italian car. Sounds like the recipe for the best car in the world right? Well unfortunately the Arna was precisely the opposite. The unhappy product of a collaboration between Nissan and Alfa Romeo it had the worst qualities of both nations cars. The Arna was a real moment of shame for Alfa Romeo.

Hummer H2

This car represents all that is wrong with America. It's too big, too thirsty, too brash and terrible in every concievable way. Supposed to be a luxury 4x4 like a Range Rover it fails in every aspect. It's bad on the road, it's worse off road, it will cost you an absolute fortune to run and people who see you driving it will think (correctly) that you are a complete tosser. Thankfully, Hummer have now gone bust.

Vauxhall Cavalier

I can't really explain why I hate the Cavalier, I just do. It's a giant slab of boring nothingness that used to litter the motorways of Britain as sales executives trundled up and down the country. Now it's more likely to be found abandoned on a council estate. The Cavalier is also a firm a favourite amongst thieves and joy-riders due to its easy stealability.

Lamborghini Diablo
I've never liked the Diablo, there's just something about it that doesn't sit well with me. I don't like the way it looks, I don't like how it drives and I don't like the image that surrounds it. This is my least favourite Lamborghini and my least favourite supercar. Lamborghini improved infinitely in my opinion once Audi took control and they stopped making cars like the Diablo.

My ten car garage

2011-03-13T12:05:00.000+00:00

YOU CAN TELL a lot about a car fan by what they put in their dream ten car garage. This is mine.

Firstly, I should point out that this is by no means in any kind of order. It was difficult enough to cut it down to just ten cars (as you'll see at the bottom) and to put those ten in order would be near enough impossible.

Lancia Delta HF Integrale Evoluzion

I love the Delta Integrale; its aggressive stance, its angular edges, its muscular arches and its rally pedigree. Some people prefer the more conventionally beautiful Stratos but for me it's all about the Delta. Only available in left hand drive, these are very collectable and their future 'classic' status is already assured.

TVR Sagaris

TVR's in general are great, they're unashamedly loud and brash with huge exhausts, incredible styling touches and the presence of pearlescent paint on the options list. The Sagaris was just as wild, with a clear rear spoiler, slashes on the wings and sideways exiting exhausts but it was much easier to live with than previous TVR's.

Renault Clio V6

It sounds like a recipe for disaster; take a small supermini, replace the rear seats with a 3.0 V6, make it rear wheel drive and fit a ludicrously wide bodykit that, due to the cars natural shortness, gives it a distinctly square stance. If you weren't awake it would quite happily pitch you into the nearest hedge but it has huge charm and it's supercar levels of performance have already made it a legend.

Audi Quattro

Very much a similar car to the Delta, this is a rally bred performance car but it's German solidarity and engineering make it an easier everyday prospect than it's Italian rival. Also made famous by Gene Hunt in Ashes to Ashes the Quattro has recently been introduced to a whole new audience and made it a cult hero all over again.

Maserati Quattroporte

The Quattroporte isn't a very good car. There are BMWs, Mercedes, Jaguars, Lexuses (Lexi?) Porsches and Aston Martins that do the big, sporty, executive saloon thing better but what they all lack are the charisma, style and sense of occasion that the rather unimaginatively named Maser (Quattroporte being Italian for 'four doors') has in spades.

Subaru Impreza WRX STI

Yet another performance car with a rally pedigree (there's a theme emerging). The presence of this car on the list is almost entirely thanks to my hero; the late, great Colin McRae. I'd be happy to own pretty much any Impreza from over the years, but I picked the one you can see on the right for the simple reason that I like the way it looks.

BMW M5 Touring

It looks like a 5 series estate but under the bonnet lies a 5.0 V10 producing 500bhp. That's a sensible, practical and comfortable family estate car that will, if you so choose, keep up with just about any supercar you care to mention. It's a great everyday car that'll also set your pants on fire with the merest prod of your right foot.

Renault Clio Williams

Originally a special run of 500 cars, it was later joined by the Williams 2 and 3, much to annoyance of those who bought the original. By the way, if you want to buy one now go for a Williams 1 (because it was the original) or a 3 (because it had some luxuries). The 205 and the Golf may get the fame but those in the know, rate the Clio as the best hot hatch ever.

Mercedes SLR McLaren

It may seem odd that in a fantasy list where money is presumably unlimited there should only be one supercar. Whether that says more about me or about supercars in general I don't know. What I do know, however, is that of all the Porsches, Lamborghinis, Ferraris and the like, the only one I want to put in my garage is the SLR.

BMW M Coupe

The Z3 it was based on was truly awful, but after handing it over to their motorsport division and slapping a roof on top, BMW had something really special on their hands. Nicknamed the 'breadvan', its looks were (some might say) challenging and still divide opinion to this day but its fans absolutely adore it and so do I.

Left on the bench...

There are some cars I like almost as much but couldn't include in my ten so I'm putting them here instead. It's technically cheating but remember this...

My game, my rules!

Mini Cooper

It's a British icon, it re-wrote the rulebooks for family cars, small cars and performance cars and simply because, well, it's a Mini.

Caterham R500

It's faster than a Veyron, costs a tiny fraction of the price and it offers more thrills than just about any other car on the road.

Range Rover

It's all the car you'll ever need. Supremely capable both on and off road, it'll be comfortable when you want and quick when you want. The perfect all-rounder.

Jaguar E-Type

Probably the best looking car ever made, it was also the fastest car in the world. A sportscar and a piece of artwork all in one? That's value for money!

Mazda MX-5

Some think it's a hairdressers car but lurking beneath the slightly girlie exterior lies a true sportscar with genuine ability. Also, it's got pop-up headlights!

Getting it wrong can be easy

2011-03-06T19:54:00.001+00:00

THE PREMISE WAS simple, turn a successful and well proven hacthback into a stylish and sporty mini-coupe. So how can one company get it right and another get it so very wrong?

The Ford Fiesta and the Vauxhall Corsa were amongst the top selling cars in Britain, so why not make a little more money from them and make stylish and sexy coupe's out of them too?

It's a great idea because there are plenty of people out there who want the low running costs of a small hatchback but don't want the image that comes with it.

Creating

So Vauxhall and Ford got to work turning their hatchbacks into coupes. Vauxhall's small coupe was called the Tigra and Ford's, the Puma.

The Puma was sublime in just about every way and the Tigra was...well to be frank, the Tigra was bloody awful!

Now, I should explain, a coupe has two jobs; to look good and to drive well and the Puma has the Tigra beaten in both of those departments. It would be harsh to describe the Tigra as ugly but it's nowhere near as sharp as the Puma.

Driving

However, it's in the driving where the Puma really stretches it's legs over the Tigra because the Ford Puma was truly brilliant to drive as this footage from Top Gear in 1997 of Tiff Needell scaring the bejesus out of Jeremy Clarkson and Quentin Wilson proves:

The Tigra was not so blessed when it came to the driving, this was due in part to the fact that the it's Corsa platform was decidedly average. It's dynamic shortcomings teamed with it's dreary styling meant it failed at the two things you need to make a successful coupe and it was therefore rather pointless.

If you happen to own a Vauxhall Tigra then I apologise for criticising it but the fact remains, you've bought the wrong car. If, on the other hand, you own a Puma then I applaud you for owning one of the finest cars ever to wear the blue oval.

The Vauxhall Tigra is a lesson from history about how even with such simple ingredients, you can still get it spectacularly wrong. The Ford Puma however, will forever be a lesson in getting it absolutely spot-on.

A new Aston Martin? Great...but what's the point?

2011-02-28T18:35:00.004+00:00

A NEW ASTON Martin is something to be celebrated, yes? Normally I'd be the first to bring out the party hats and the champagne but this time, I'm not so sure.

What your looking at above is the brand new Aston Martin Virage, it sees the revival of a name we last saw in the 1990's on the last of the really hairy chested Aston Martin's.

I've got nothing against the new Virage, I'm sure that in isolation it's a very good car indeed. It'll be quite fast, quite comfortable and handle quite well; a good all-round car then.

A bit samey
The trouble is that statement could also be applied to both the DB9, which sits below it in the range, and the DBS, which sits above it in the range.

The official bumph from Aston describes the car as "Beautiful, dynamic and prestigious, the Virage combines outright sports car performance with luxury, comfort and refinement." Again, this statement could quite easily be applied to the other two cars. It doesn't end there though, Aston go on to say that with the introduction of the Virage they can now "provide customers with a class-leading range, all with different characters". 'Different'? All three of these cars are comfortable, stylish, 2-door sportscars with a front-mounted V12 engine powering the rear wheels. 'Different' is pushing it a bit.

This issue isn't just confined to Aston Martin, it's infected the entire car industry. Manufacturers are constantly releasing cars simply to plug the tiniest of gaps in their ranges on the off-chance that someone somewhere might want a car with 1cm more legroom in the back and will therefore buy something from someone else instead. So they make both kinds of car, one with 23cm's of legroom and one with 24cm's of legroom.

I could understand it if the gap between the DB9 and the DBS was bigger but with the DB9 starting at £122,000 and the DBS starting at £170,000 it's only £48,000. That may seem a lot but it really isn't, especially when you consider that if the Virage goes exactly in the middle it'll cost £146,000.

Hypothesising

Let's hypothesise for a moment; you're quite well-off and you want to buy an Aston Martin, so you buy a DB9. But if you're spending over £120k you probably don't mind shelling out a few extra quid for some options, pushing the price up to around £135-140k at which point you say "The Virage is the next model up, therefore it must be better and it's only another five or ten grand, I may as well buy that instead". Again, you're going to want some options which pushes the price up to around £160-165k at which point you say to yourself "Well, the DBS is the top model, therefore it must be better and that's only another five or ten grand, I may as well buy that instead." It's a vicious circle, and one that the snob in you won't be able to get out of.

I'm sure the new Aston Martin Virage will be a very good car, it's just a shame that it's also an utterly pointless one.

Bahrain Grand Prix cancelled...great news!

2011-02-24T09:28:00.006+00:00

THE BAHRAIN GRAND Prix has been cancelled, or at the very least postponed. And I couldn't be happier, but not for the reason you might expect.

It has nothing to do with what every news outlet is calling the 'political unrest', it's nothing political whatsoever.

It's partly due to the fact that the Bahrain Grand Prix has never been very good, it just doesn't produce exciting races. Granted, last year's absolute snooze-fest was due to the fact that everyone was still getting used to the new rules but the circuit itself just doesn't produce good racing.

However, the main reason that I'm glad the Bahrain Grand Prix will not be taking place in a couple of weeks is simply because I don't like Bahrain being the first race of the season.

Down-under
When I was younger, and up until a couple of years ago, the Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne was always the first race of the year. This meant getting up at 3am on Sunday morning and tiptoeing downstairs to watch the race with the volume turned right down so as not to wake anybody.

To me, it's traditional that the first race of the year is Australia. It just doesn't feel right for it to be light outside when watching that race and it's for that reason, as silly, insignificant or childish as it might seem, that I'm glad the Bahrain Grand Prix will not kick the season off in a couple of weeks.

I suppose I should also point out that all the political stuff that's going on over there at the moment is very bad but really, it's the F1 that's most important.

Mini continues ridiculous naming pattern

2011-02-23T08:21:00.006+00:00

MINI HAVE RELEASED yet another ridiculously named concept car, where will it end?

What you're looking at is called, and I'm not joking, the Mini Rocketman. We've previously had the Beachcomber, the Countryman and the Paceman and rumour has it Mini is currently working on the Boatman, the Milkman and the Binman.

Nevermind the ridiculous and possibly copyright infringing name, the Rocketman is supposed to go back to the original ethos of the Mini, being small fun and frugal. However, it's only very slightly shorter than a normal Cooper which is massive compared to an original Mini.

It's very light and according to Mini it'll be very good on fuel, the interior is funky and there are some neat styling touches but that's not the point. Mini need to a) stop extending the Mini range too far with all these pointless models and b) start putting more thought into their naming instead of just looking at old Elton John records.

Or is this the direction the car industry is going in now? In 5 years will we all be driving around in Vauxhall Tinydancers, Ford Candleinthewinds and Renault Yoursongs?

'Quick Nick' is the right man for Renault

2011-02-22T20:41:00.010+00:00

THERE WAS MUCH speculation surrounding the Lotus Renault GP team's driver lineup after Robert Kubica's terrible rallying accident, they've made a choice now and I think it's the right one.

Let me start by saying that I like Robert Kubica a great deal. Not only is he one of the sport's most naturally talented drivers but he's a breath of fresh air in the overly corporate world of Formula One. He's a decent, nice and down to earth bloke. He's also a proper 'old school' driver, hence the fact that he was out driving a rally car just weeks before the season starts. Back in the good ol' days F1 drivers would be out there every weekend racing whatever they could get their hands on; be it a rally car, an F3000 car, a touring car or an endurance racer, simply because they loved racing.

Nowadays they're not even allowed to be seen another car incase it annoys a sponsor let alone partake in something even remotely dangerous outside of a Grand Prix weekend. The naysayers will say "you see; he was doing other activities, it went wrong and now he's out for the season" but I applaud Robert Kubica, I wish all drivers were more like him.

Replacing Robert
With Kubica out, but luckily recovering well, Lotus Renault were faced with a problem of who to put in the vacant seat. Their official reserve drivers were Bruno Senna who suffered a farcical rookie year with Hispania in 2010 and Romain Grosjean who displayed a distinct lack of star quality the last time Renault put him in a race seat.

Bruno was the early favourite because he has the most recent race experience and, well, because who could resist giving someone with the Senna name a drive in a black and gold Renault powered Lotus F1 car.

No doubt Bruno would have done a fine job in the short term but he still has only one years F1 experience under his belt and this was likely to be a year long gig so understandably Renault wanted someone with a little more experience and there aren't many with more experience that Nick Heidfeld.

Experience

The extremely likeable German has 172 race starts and 225 points to his name and is often described, along with Martin Brundle, as the best driver never to win a race. That elusive race win is long over due and maybe now, for probably only the second time in his career, he has a car that might just be able to provide it for him.

Of course experience isn't everything as was proved last year when Heidfeld replaced the equally experienced Pedro De La Rosa, most famous for falling in a river at the US GP, at Sauber and scored as many points in five races as the spaniard had managed in fourteen.

Nick Heidfeld is a genuinely fast racing driver and he deserves to be on the grid legitimately rather than as a stand-in but unfortunately there is such a thing as sponsorship and it has an awful lot of power in F1. So much so that drivers with lots of it find themselves in race seats whether they're fast enough or not, while talented drivers like Nick Heidfeld, Anthony Davidson, Karun Chandhok and Nico Hulkenberg end up on the sidelines.

It's because of this I'm glad to see a talented driver back in F1 instead of one with lots of money, albeit under very sad circumstances.

Get well soon Robert. Szybkiego powrotu do zdrowia Robert.

Review: Gran Turismo 5

2011-02-22T12:08:00.016+00:00

OVER FIVE YEARS in the making, multiple delays and some awfully high expectations, but can Gran Turismo 5 live up to it?

The Gran Turismo franchise has always gone under the strapline ‘The Real Driving Simulator’ and the latest installation is no different, providing what they describe as, “the world’s most realistic and comprehensive driving experience.” As such, casual players may struggle at first to get to grips with game’s extraordinarily realistic handling physics. Cars have a real weight to them and feel as if they really are sitting on the ground and interacting with it as it passes under their digital wheels.

Racing
One area of the playing experience that has always left gamers wanting was the rival cars, often displaying decidedly odd and un-racing driver-like behaviour. This problem has partially been resolved in GT5 with rival cars now reacting much better to situations, no longer religiously following the programmed racing line however when the racing gets a bit heated they still display a distinct lack of intelligence, making unusual, unfair and frustrating moves and decisions.

Another area where Gran Turismo has always been ahead of the competition is in its graphics and GT5 moves this advantage on a step. Polyphony Digital, the company the makes Gran Turismo, always felt that the Playstation 2 was not powerful enough and was holding them back but since they got their hands on the Playstation 3 they’ve really gone to town, exploiting its superior computing power. GT5 features over 1000 cars but 800 of them are ‘standard’ models; basically cars taken straight from the PS2’s GT4 and upgraded to PS3 standards.

Graphics
Unfortunately, it is hard to see where these upgrades have been done because they look, frankly disappointing. You can’t help but feel they exist purely make up the numbers. In stark contrast however, the so called ’premium’ cars look absolutely stunning. They look so super realistic that at times you could swear you were looking at a photograph or video of a real car. The magnificent attention to detail in the smallest sections like the bulbs in the headlights or the heating elements in the rear windows really highlight the perfectionism of Kazunori Yamauchi, the CEO of Polyphony Digital and the man responsible for the entire Gran Turismo series. GT5 was delayed as much as it was because of Kazunori, unwilling to release it until it was truly finished and met his own extremely high standards, in particular relating to the damage which features for the first time in the Gran Turismo series.

Verdict
The gameplay may have a few shortcomings, the graphics may also have a few weak spots and the menus can at times be infuriating with their many counter intuitive features but to Gran Turismo devotees none of this will matter. The driving experience is sublime and when the graphics are good there’s simply nothing that can beat it. If you want an immersive and realistic driving game then Gran Turismo 5 will not disappoint. If you want a fun, arcade racing game then you might want to look elsewhere.

Rating: 7.5/10

Gran Turismo 5 is available now online and in store.