th1nk p1nk.

The shutdown ends.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 18:22:00 +0000

This is word-for-word a comment I posted on an article about the end of our state shutdown here in Minnesota:

I do hope the people of Minnesota can plainly see which party was willing to work and to compromise in this budget battle and which side stuck rigidly to a tired and false economic ideology. Governor Dayton has been trying to work this issue out from day one in office. Do you know what our Republican leaders in the state house have been doing? Getting anti-gay marriage amendments on the ballot for next year, despite the fact that gay marriage is already illegal in this state. That's real productive, guys, and certainly very progressive of you. The vast majority of the state thinks it's unnecessary, and it's likely to fail.

They also sent the governor a number of bills straight out of the Republican party's list of talking points that they *knew* he would veto. A complete and utter waste of time and money, and yet they did it - why? To flex their ultra-conservative bona fides? So they could say to their base, "Look what we tried to do!"

Then, when it comes down to crunch time, the budget they send the governor not only guts our schools and health care for the poor, elderly, and disabled, but has attached to it a number of ridiculous policy-related issues like restrictions on abortions and other Republican talking point goodies. Why? Did they actually think Governor Dayton was going to go for that?

I'm sorry, but these people are nuts. There's not a moderate one in the bunch, and if there is, they've been shut up by all of the crazies. My kudos to our governor for retaining his sanity throughout this process. I can only hope that these fruitcakes don't get reelected. Actually, I should rephrase that... Fruitcake is delicious, and I shouldn't be so disparaging to such a scrumptious dessert by comparing it to these utterly self-serving Republican lawmakers!

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 01:35:00 +0000

Right now in my state, you cannot apply for a driver's license; in fact, the DMV is shut down altogether, I believe. Doctors, nurses, and teachers cannot be licensed, either. I guess that's not important, right? I mean, is a license really that important when putting your life, or that of your child, in the hands of another person?

Oh, and I read a lovely news story about a couple who met while serving in the army and they are scheduled to be married at Fort Snelling in a couple of weeks (I had a friend get married there - beautiful place) and their wedding might be cancelled if this goes on any longer. But, I'm sure you don't mind forcing two hardworking members of our military to just find another venue, this is only the place they dreamed about getting married at when they got engaged to each other over in Afghanistan/Iraq (can't recall which).

Just because something isn't absolutely essential to public safety (i.e. state troopers, prison guards) doesn't mean it isn't important to someone, somewhere, and at sometime. I know someone who works two state jobs - one at the Minnesota Zoo and the other at the Science Museum - and she's furloughed at both of them because of this. But, I'm sure educating our children about the natural world is not really that important; but as someone who was taken on school trips to both places, that I vividly remember even today as an adult and I can proudly say were essential learning experiences for me, I can guarantee the kids WILL be missing out on something incredibly special without those two institutions.

All of this, and for what? To protect the top 1.8% of earners in our state from having slightly higher taxes. Thanks, Republicans. They would rather see more cuts to education and health care. I'm sorry, but we've had enough of your damned cuts and the rich are paying less in taxes than they have in decades. They can cough up a little bit more. As awful as this is, I am thankful that Governor Dayton isn't giving in. He's fighting for what he believes in and what he knows is the right thing to do.

Minnesota is a great state that's been left in fiscal crisis thanks to our previous governor, Tim Pawlenty. Let's not continue the same ridiculous policies that lead us down this road. I want our state to continue to be a place I can be proud of. Admittedly, I am not very proud of my country, but I AM proud of my state. Much of the rest of the United States is, frankly, an embarrassment to me. This state need not go that route. We're better than that.

Rat troubles.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 22:04:00 +0000

I don't feel like re-typing this, so I'm just going to copy and paste the message I posted to a rat-related Facebook group about what happened the other day. Please ignore the terrible grammar and whatnot.

"So, I haven't posted anything for a few days because I feel like the worst rat mom in the whole world... A few days ago during intros, despite everything going seemingly well up until then, Rasputin bit Rosencrantz, one of my dwarf boys, and left him with a HUGE gash in his side. We rushed him to the e-vet, waited three hours while the people before us had their cats put to sleep (saddest thing to watch EVER... and we saw it twice), and when we were finally seen, we found out they wanted $500 to have him stitched up. We've been in a financial pickle ever since Ross graduated and lost his student job, and although he finally got a seasonal position at Target, he doesn't start until next week. We applied for CareCredit, but we were told we'd have to wait a week and the e-vet requires the money right then. We ended up having his wound cleaned and stapled instead because it was cheaper... ;_; He's fine now, on Baytril and pain meds, and there's no sign of infection. I just feel awful. I shouldn't have been doing intros while we're so poor, but we'd been doing it so gradually and I hardly even noticed Rosie had been hurt until he turned around and saw this big gash... Now I have FOUR male rats in separate cages, since Rosie has to be separate from his brother Gil while he has the staples. Ugh... I'll have pictures in a bit ;_; I feel so awful still, my poor boy..."

The picture is, obviously, to the right. You can see the poor guy's stapled wound. I still feel bad, but I'm just glad he's healing up alright. I hate when my critters get hurt, especially when it's something like this that I feel was somehow preventable.

Get better, little buddy! <3

Unemployment blues.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 06:59:00 +0000

Being unemployed is really depressing. I can't even get a crappy retail job... Target won't hire me, and I applied at several Targets. This is Minneapolis, home of Target corporate - you can barely walk without tripping over them. I thought I'd wowed Chuck & Don's when I finally got an interview, but I'm pretty sure they were scared off by the fact that I haven't had an "actual" job since 2008. Being a freelance writer doesn't count as "real work", I guess. I need money desperately, because I can barely feed myself since the money my parents give me goes to my pets first.

Ross is still unemployed, too. His statistics degree does give him a step above most college grads these days, but he's had just one interview and one phone interview after sending out over 100 resumes. The phone interview was promising, and they may call back in a few weeks for an in-person interview. While him getting a job would help with our financial situation, it doesn't help me with the getting-out-of-the-house situation.

I hate this so much. I hate feeling so useless, so unwanted. My mental health has largely recovered now thanks to intensive therapy and lots of wonderful medications, but what's keeping me down is the lack of employment. There are NO resources out there for the mentally ill to get back to work, at least not in my area - despite the fact that employment is a huge problem with those of us with bipolar disorder and other such issues. Those resources are all for the physically and developmentally disabled - and while I appreciate that and realize it's very much needed (and even then there's not enough for them) - it leaves nothing left for those of us who are or have been disabled due to mental illness. The few resources that do exist are for those who have hit absolute rock bottom. I'd rather catch myself before I lose my home, my family, and my pets, and preferably before I become a drug-addled alcoholic, too.

...and that's the kicker. I'm no longer disabled. I WANT TO WORK. I. WANT. TO. WORK. I need to work... otherwise we're going to be in some big trouble when it comes to paying the rent. I can't keep relying on my parents, because the guilt and shame of it drains me emotionally. Granted, it wouldn't be so bad if my mom weren't always so sarcastic, saying things so mean-spirited to me without even realizing just how hurtful they are. She doesn't realize that what she is saying is just a tiny step above "blood-sucking leech". She already has said that I'm "sucking her dry", which is close enough in my book.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore... I don't know where to go or who to turn to for help. I'm snapping at Ross all the time, and I hate it. I hate being so bitchy at him. We both need to get out of this damned house and get work. If only there was some work to be had.

Puppysitting.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 21:59:00 +0000

WOOKATDATWIDDLEFACE!

So, this weekend I've been puppysitting for Katie and Shmuel. This is Revy, their 7 week old vizla mix pup. A cute lil' thing when she's napping, and honestly not too bad when she's awake, either. The only real problem (besides occasionally not hitting the puppy pad and still not understanding the whole "pooping outside" thing) is her tendency to use their other dog, Max the dumber-than-a-sack-of-potatoes corgi-sheltie mix, as a giant chew toy. He doesn't appreciate it.

She came into this world like many of us, by a string of strange and unfortunate events.

Her mother, herself a vizla-chocolate lab cross, was adopted from the humane society from a responsible family who assumed their dog was spayed. I mean, why should they think otherwise? That's what the humane society told them! In fact, the humane society thought the dog was spayed, too. She had a scar where the usual spay scar would be located, and there's no other way to tell short of opening her up and doing exploratory surgery.

Revy's mom's owners decided one day to take their new dog to the dog park. She was registered, vaccinated, and, they thought, spayed, so why not? She was having a great time playing with the other dogs. Perhaps she had too great a time playing with another purebred vizla, though, because the two started to have some rather public puppy relations.

Of course, the owner of the other vizla had not had their dog neutered. This is against the rules at dog parks, of course, but they're not the ones stuck with the puppies after their boy has spread his seed, so why should they care? So, thanks to the douches who brought the intact male dog to the dog park, Revy and her brothers and sisters had been conceived. Ten more puppies brought into this world, likely condemning ten more adoptable dogs to death. Not that I blame little Revy, but the gall of someone to allow an intact male dog to run around at a dog park really angers me. I suppose you might counter with, "Well, they should keep their unspayed dogs away from the park, too!"

Here's the thing - there was no reason for anyone to think little Revy's mom wasn't already spayed. She had the scar, and I'm assuming they never noticed her going into heat while she was at the shelter, especially if she wasn't there for very long (a good thing!), so her owners took the humane society at their word that the dog they'd just adopted was fixed. They now are thinking that the scar they mistakenly believed to be a spay scar was actually from a repaired hernia. Why the previous owners didn't have her spayed while the hernia was repaired is beyond comprehension, because that dog was obviously not some purebred breeder or show dog.

Anyway, here's the moral of the story, folks: SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS!

Seriously. While Katie and Shmuel are happy to take little Revy in and she's going to be a great dog, that doesn't change the fact that spaying and neutering your pets is very important. Revy's mother should have been spayed by her original owners (and will be spayed by her new owners soon, now that the puppies are all weaned) and Revy's father should have been neutered. If his owners refused to do that, then he should have never been allowed at the dog park.

Miss Revy will be fixed sometime in the coming months, but in the meantime, she's got lots of growing and puppy-ing to do. Also, when I get a dog, I want a DOG. Not a puppy. I want an adult (or at the very least 'teenaged') dog that can hold its bowels for more than an hour. For now, though, I'll just concentrate on harness and leash training the ferrets. That's enough for me :)

Sick kitty.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 17:31:00 +0000

My poor Jiro is sick. He's got a urinary tract infection, though fortunately it's just bacterial and he hasn't had any blockage yet. On top of that, he's also got an ear infection. Jiro is the sweetest cat ever, so it's hard for me to see him feel ill. Honestly, it's hard to put to words how incredibly unique he is. He wants my attention constantly, always wanting to be cuddled and held. He's on my lap right now, trying to nuzzle my mousepad since my hands are busy. He and I will often fall asleep cuddled up together, like he's a big stuffed toy. This is an old picture of him, but he doesn't look any different. He's just a big, fluffy, cuddly ball of awesome.

From left to right, we have Jiro, Sifka, and Wesley in this picture. This was in the middle of the night, when I couldn't sleep and I realized that all three of them were on our bed lined up like that. It was a perfect photo op, so I grabbed my phone while I could. Sifka and Wesley noticed, but Jiro was much too lazy to care.

Don't get me wrong: I love all of them very much. Still, I will readily admit that Jiro is my favorite and he is like a security blanket for me. When I am having an anxiety attack, having my Jiro there to cuddle... There's nothing like it. He lets me wrap my arms around him and hug him in a way most cats would never allow. Sifka sure doesn't like it, and Wesley only lets me do it for short periods of time or when he feels like it. With Jiro, I can hug and cuddle him whenever I need to. Oftentimes, he demands hugs and cuddles when I'm busy and I don't need them! He's a very loving cat, whether you want his luvin' or not! Which is quite hilarious when my mom is over, as she's very allergic to cats.

I have to give Jiro the antibiotics and ear drops twice a day for a little while until he gets better. It isn't fun for either of us, but I'm so thankful they didn't find crystals in his urine, which would have indicated bladder or kidney stones. The vet tried to sell me on the special urinary kibble stuff, but I'm actually switching Jiro to a raw diet now. He was already stealing the raw meat from the ferrets, so it won't be difficult. When given the choice between raw meat and kibble or wet cat food, he chooses the raw meat. So, again, it won't be difficult. I can thank Woody's Pet Food Deli for making raw feeding so easy, too. If you're in the area, consider it! It isn't all that more expensive, and as long as they get a good, balanced raw diet (which everything at Woody's is), then it's very good for them!

Time to cuddle my kitty more. <3 you, Jiro!

Interview'd.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 28 May 2011 13:30:00 +0000

I actually had a job interview yesterday. It still seems unreal to me, but it's true.

I interviewed for a job at the new Chuck & Don's Pet Food Outlet store that's opening in Northeast Minneapolis. (Note: for those from other parts of MN who aren't very familiar with Minneapolis, Northeast is not North Minneapolis. This is the artsy neighborhood and the store's going to be right across from the Aveda Institute, not in the 'hood right across from... uh, the 'hood, yo.)

Chuck & Don's is pretty much the perfect job for me. I am amazing at sales. I'm ridiculously persuasive and friendly; outgoing, too. The reason I suck at being a writer is not that I suck at writing, but that I suck at being alone all day. I can't stand it. I need to be surrounded by people, otherwise my mental condition deteriorates. Also, it's selling pet supplies but not pets. They don't sell live animals besides crickets, and they are really more of a food item. It's all pet food, supplies, and toys - and most important of all, it's pretty much all top-quality stuff. With the exception of a few of their small animal products, which is unsurprising considering how few decent small animal products are on the market to begin with, nearly everything in their stores is a genuinely good product that I could recommend. All of their cat and dog foods are high quality, high protein foods, and even though Petco and Petsmart are beginning to carry these brands now, Chuck & Don's is always cheaper.

Oh, and best of all? The manager of this new store is someone I'd already met! He's the guy at the Bloomington store who I'd asked about stocking Totally Ferret! So, not only did he remember me, but I know that he's really nice and genuinely cares. He actually took the time to contact corporate and ask about this brand of food, and when he found out their suppliers don't carry it, he called me and let me know. How many store managers would take time from their busy schedules to do that? So, I think I've got a good chance here. I certainly hope so, anyway.

This was my first job interview in years. I've always said that if I can get an actual interview, I should be able to nail it. I think I nailed it out of the damn park. I'm not going to be overconfident, though, and get my hopes up. I'm being cautious so as to not set myself up for a depression. In the meantime, though, it does give me some hope that I can actually find a job. I might even find a great job, too.

So, how about those tornadoes!

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Tue, 24 May 2011 19:18:00 +0000

Weren't they fun? The one that hit north Minneapolis came nowhere near me (I live in south Minneapolis) but it was a little nerve-wracking nonetheless. The sirens still blew, waking me from a rather comfortable nap. I rushed to turn on the television, switching it to KARE11 so that the reassuring voice of my favorite weatherman, Sven Sundgaard, could inform me as to what the hell was going on. Oh, Sven... he is the best. Also, he's very gay. (No, seriously - my friend used to date his cousin, and I'm pretty sure she said he's gay. It's awesome. <3)

Fortunately, only one person died from the tornado itself, and another man died yesterday while helping his neighbors clear fallen trees from their yards. As awful as the damage was, it was nothing compared to what happened in Joplin, Missouri. Those poor people got it much worse than we did.

I can't help but feel like I could do something. During last month's tornado outbreak down south, I was at least able to help in a small way. I sent money and pet supplies to two members of the Goosemoose rat forums whose homes had been destroyed. One woman, Marsha Weaver, had the saddest story of all. She's the owner of the Cozy Cavy and not only did she lose her home, but her daughter was severely injured (punctured lung - she's okay now) and many of her precious guinea pigs and rats died in the storm. The touching part was that the guinea pig and rat communities came together to raise funds for her via Sponsor a Guinea Pig and they raised over $11,000 for her and her family. It was incredible!!

Over at Goosemoose, we also raised some money to send a new cage for one of our members whose home was lost but her five rattie girls survived. It will finally arrive this week - there was a delay with the powder coating - and I'm really excited for that. I also sent her some cages, food, and supplies for her and her sister's hamsters, because after they tornado their cages were destroyed and they were living in garbage bins for a week afterwards. With the rest of the community focused on the rats, I knew that, as a hamster lover, I had to be sure the hamsters weren't forgotten, either.

During tragedies like this, the Red Cross and other organizations like that are always there for the people, but I know as a pet owner I'd be frantic as to what to do for my pets. My critters are family members, too, and I know these people greatly appreciate the help we were able to offer for their furry loved ones. As they all rebuild from the havoc the storms caused, they're going to need those animals for emotional support. They're going to need to see those adorable little survivors every day, and know that they'll continue to be there no matter what happens. I know that's what I'd want if I lost my home.

So, as north Minneapolis recovers, I'm going to contact the Animal Humane Society and see what I can do to help the people and the animals from the area in their recovery efforts. I have no money right now to give, but I have a heart and I can possibly foster a pet or two for someone while their home is being repaired. It's the least I can do.

Money, money, money.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 20 May 2011 19:06:00 +0000

I got into an argument with my mom yesterday.

You see, being dependent on your parents really sucks. Not only do I feel like I'm a terrible person in general for it, but I feel like I'm a leech. The world thinks I'm a leech. It doesn't matter that I have bipolar disorder. It doesn't matter that my disability application was rejected. It doesn't matter that I am trying to get a job but am disadvantaged by my prior work history because of said bipolar disorder. What matters is that my parents have to give me money every week and pay my rent every month, and when the money they give me isn't enough and I have to ask for more, I feel like a pile of shit.

I spent $45 to fill up my car after running it down to nearly empty (I drive a '99 Chevy Lumina and am practicing gas-conserving hypermiling techniques like not going above 60 mph, trying to not come to a complete stop if I can avoid it, etc. so I'm not driving a huge gas guzzler here) and I need $35 to refill my Adderall and $20 to get some groceries. That left me with basically no money left, even though I'd already received my $100 allowance for the week. Oh, and I'm getting daily 8:30 AM phone calls from one of my credit cards wanting me to pay up, but I really cannot pay them right now. I wanted just $25 or $30 to give myself a little padding until next week, so that I could be sure I didn't overdraft again and, as you can imagine, Mom didn't take it well.

The problem with my mother is that she doesn't know how to say things tactfully. She knows how much I hate my situation, how guilty it makes me feel, and how utterly ashamed I am of it. She knows that, and yet she still says things like, "Well, then maybe it's time for both you and Ross to trot down to McDonald's now, huh?" Keep in mind that Ross just graduated last Sunday and just put in eight job applications yesterday alone (he's done dozens by now), including one for a job as a "medical specimen analyst" or something of that sort, or to put it in less colorful, euphemistic language, it was $12/hr to be the pee cup guy at a pre-employment drug testing place. Yeah, he's got two degrees and $60,000 in debt, but he's going to take a job as the pee cup guy. He also has applied at a movie theater and a Best Buy. So it's not like he isn't trying. I've been trying, too, but McD's is our last resort because we'd be guaranteed jobs there. We have connections via Ross's mom, who runs a McDonald's in Coon Rapids which is owned by the same franchisee as the Lake Street McDonald's. So, that's our very last option, if nothing else comes through soon.

That wasn't the worst of it, though.

"Where do you think all of the money goes?"

...You think I don't fucking know already, Mom? You think I don't know that you and Dad are spending nearly every penny you have on ME and my debts? You think I LIKE THIS? NO!

All she had to do was say, "I'll talk to Dad," or, "I'll see what I can do." Instead, she says these things that hurt me and tear me down. These things make me feel awful, make me feel like a low-life. How the hell is that supposed to motivate me to keep looking for a job, when I already feel like it's hopeless, like nobody wants me? I even told her I had two days worth of Adderall left, that she didn't need to do it right away... She doesn't listen, though. She doesn't apologize.

I want so badly to be thankful for all that my parents have done for me... and I am, and yet why does she have to make me feel so terrible about it?

Clown troupe.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Thu, 19 May 2011 22:41:00 +0000

See those cute lil' fishes there? Those are clown loaches. I'd take a picture of mine to show you, but they aren't exactly in the best of shape right now. A few of them are dead, in fact.

I've become quite the aquarist over the past year and a half, but I've been in love with clown loaches since I was pretty young. My dad had a small group of them in his tank, and the little guys fascinated me with their odd behaviors. You see, clown loaches have a TON of personality for fishes. When they fall asleep, they'll sleep on their sides, oftentimes piling up together in a group. They chase each other through the filter's current like a dance, and they will come as a group to greet you (by greet, I mean beg for food, naturally) as you come up to the tank. Fascinating little critters, really.

Unfortunately, I screwed up my tank and killed a few of them. It all started a few weeks ago when Petsmart had a clown loach sale. I had just four, all of whom had been healthy and established for many months. I really should have LEFT. THEM. ALONE. I brought home my $4 Petsmart loach, and rather than using a quarantine tank like a smart aquarist would, I thought, "The poor little guy would be too lonely in that tiny tank all by himself! He looks healthy enough, too, so I'll just put him straight in my big tank with the others."

...Ugh. I'm an idiot. Not only did the damn Petsmart loach die within a few days, but he infected my tank with ich. I had never had an ich problem before until now. Ich, for those who might be reading this but aren't fish people, is that white stuff you sometimes see sticking to fish at the pet store. That's not healthy. Standard ich treatment for a tank with clown loaches in it is to raise the temperature and add aquarium salt. So, that's what I did.

Still, the damage was done. My pearl gouramis were the first to die - the female, and then my precious male. He was ridiculously beautiful. By this point, I am beyond pissed at myself. I needed to hit the pet store anyway to get more aquarium salt, so I stopped by the good Petco in Highland Park, right across from the Ford plant. Being a tad impulsive (yes, that is an understatement), I decided to buy another clown loach, thinking now was a good time since I was treating the tank anyway. He was really tiny, but I left with my 15 day guarantee and hoped for the best.

For the next few days, I kept hoping for some improvement. Each day I would see less of the actual ich, meaning it's dying off, but it takes up to two weeks for the infestation to completely clear up. In the meantime, the new little loach passed, so I bagged him up and put him in the freezer so I could return him to Petco when it was convenient. My queen clown (the biggest of them, who I just guessed is a female although I don't have a clue) was often seen at the top of the water looking as if she was panting. The poor thing was obviously in pain, but she seemed to be hanging in there... until yesterday, when I found her little fishy corpse sticking out of the miniature colosseum. That really wasn't a surprising place to find her, as that was her domain.

After flushing the queen, I figured I should search for the rest of her subjects. Nobody was coming out of their hiding spots and I was afraid some of them had died while in hiding. I found two of them inside an ornament, thankfully still alive. The last loach... well, he had been alive.

Until I killed him.

I was cleaning the tank while I was searching for the loaches, because after pulling out Queenie's dead body I discovered that there was a TON of rotten food in the tank. I thought they'd been eating, but they hadn't been. It was disgusting, to say the least. While I was pushing around fake plants, driftwood, and ornaments, I must have accidentally dropped something on that last little clown loach. He was probably not in the best of shape thanks to the ich, so he either didn't realize he needed to get out of the way or he couldn't move fast enough. Either way... I squished him.

So, I feel really awful about that. Sure, it's "just a fish", but clown loaches are really more than "just fish". These little guys (and gals - again, you really can't tell) have far more personality and attitude than they should for a creature of such limited intellect. I'm glad that the two remaining clowns are the two who have always sort of stuck together and been best buds. I always think of them as twins, because there's no way to tell the two apart. Their stripes are identical and they're the exact same size. So, at least there's that.

I returned the dead Petco loach and got a new one this afternoon. He went in a QUARANTINE tank, where he will stay until I'm sure he's healthy and my big tank is healthy. If there's one really important lesson I've learned besides the importance of quarantine tanks, it's this - Bubbles the blood parrot cichlid is indestructible. Seriously, that fat orange fish did NOT act sick at all, and the only time I thought something might be wrong with him was last night when he wouldn't eat. I figured out that he likely wasn't too happy with all of the rotten food around. You know something must be wrong in the tank if Bubbles refuses to eat.

I'll have to get some new clown loaches and rebuild my little troupe, but this has not soured me on the species whatsoever. They're worth it.

I'm bored. Let's try this blog thing again.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Wed, 18 May 2011 22:42:00 +0000

Boredom has gotten the best of me, once again. I suppose that will happen when you are unemployed, not attending any form of college, university, trade school, or yoga class, and really haven't got much else to do with your life. I also do like to call myself a "writer", even though I hardly ever write anything unless I'm paid for it. Even those gigs are few and nonexistent these days.

I know that hardly anybody will read this, save for the spammers who love to comment on two year old blog posts to advertise their own worthless blogs or penis enlargement products. Still, I figure it can't hurt to give myself an outlet to hone my supposed craft. What have I got to lose, besides my dignity and my time, of which I have an abundance?

So, what have I been doing for the previous two years? I've moved on a couple different occasions, both times within the same neighborhood. I've stopped attending the University of Minnesota, mostly because they took away my financial aid (long story) and also because of my mental health issues. Oh, and speaking of mental health issues, I've at last been diagnosed with bipolar disorder!

It's been a long time coming, really. It finally hit me when I had three or four nurses, therapists, or doctors say to me, "You're bipolar, aren't you?" My reply would always be, "No, my highs aren't high enough to classify as mania and they don't last long enough. It has to be depression." Oh, how little did I know! I did some research and talked it over with my doctor, and now I realize I have rapid-cycling bipolar II disorder. That means that my moods fluctuate even faster than the average bipolar patient, and bipolar II is different from bipolar I in that you only become 'hypomanic' rather than full-blown manic. I didn't realize I ever was even hypomanic. What I thought was an "up swing" in my mood, a few days of feeling really great, being confident, and actually getting things done for once, is actually hypomania.

Oh, how I wish I could be hypomanic all the time. It's addicting, let me tell you! When I feel it coming on, I can only hope that it will stick this time and never go away. Not that it's perfect, mind you; I have a terrible habit of spending too much money and being unable to keep track of my finances during these times. This is often because I get these ideas of ways to improve things around the house or something in my life that happens to require money - some sort of project - and in my excitement, I rush out and buy the supplies. A few days later, I remember that my credit card bill was due last Thursday and it's now late. Again. This is made worse by the fact that I don't actually have a job, and the little money I was receiving from the county every month while I was attempting to get on disability is no longer coming in, either.

Why? Because I don't feel disabled anymore, to put it simply. I'm searching for jobs, and as everyone is well aware, this isn't an easy task for anyone, let alone someone who hasn't held down an actual job since 2008. I say "actual job" because I get the feeling that employers look down on freelance work for some strange reason. Maybe they don't like independence? I'm not really sure. Anyway, there are several reasons why I'm feeling better now, but lately I can attribute the biggest change in my mood to a wonderful new drug: Latuda.

Latuda is a new anti-psychotic that, while technically isn't approved for bipolar yet, (don't worry, psychiatrists do this all the time - and it's undergoing tests) is working wonders for me. I started it after seeing my new psychiatrist, Dr. Vine. While I like him and I'm thankful, I really miss Dr. Hardrict. Sadly, he had to close his practice after coming down with cancer - what kind, I'm not sure - so that's why I'm no longer being seen by him. The only problem with this new med is that it's rather expensive, even with insurance coverage. Dr. Vine has given me samples for now, but I'm afraid of the copay when I have to actually purchase some. Still, it will be worth it. I'm feeling FAR more stable.

Well, that's all for now. More later. It feels good to let things out again.

Writing on the bus.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 17:32:00 +0000

I know, I have been a terrible blogger as of late. I promise to write more and I don't... Well, that's in part because I vent my emotions to Ross so it sometimes seems redundant if I do it here, too. The other reason is that I want to redesign this blog but I haven't been able to procure a copy of Photoshop for my Macboo yet. The (illegal) version on my old Dell is useless because the computer can't handle it.

So, here I am, writing this on my smartphone (yay Moto Q!) because reading books and writing on paper gives me a headache while I ride but this doesn't. Huh. I'm sure it is just all in my head, as usual.

I'm on my way to see my psychiatrist and, as of today, my new employer. Dr. Hardrict is perhaps the kindest person I've ever met (aside from Ross, though I guess I'm biased). When I expressed my concerns about finding a job because my credentials and professional references were lacking, considering the few jobs there are probably have a bajillion applicants, he said, "Well then, what do you think about working for me?"

My jaw dropped. I had to ask if he was really serious and he said, "Of course, I could really use the help." I knew he'd been running his small, private office by himself since his last secretary/office worker left, but I'd supposed than he didn,t need as much help since he cut back on his client load there. He said he could really use the help and that it could be incredibly beneficial for us both.

I am absolutely esctatic about it. I will be there three days every week working three hours a day. It is a consistent schedule, I will be paid once a week, and if I have problems or issues in regards to my anxiety and whatnot I will have THE most understanding boss on the planet. I won't have to be afraid to go because if I am anxious or panicky, what better place to be than your doctor's office?

I am truly grateful for all that Dr. Hardrict has done for me since the very beginning of my mental troubles. I hope I can do an excellent job while working for him. It is the least I can do to repay him for helping me to recover.

p.s. There are probably a ton of typos and misspellings in this entry. I'll maybe fix it when I get home.

I hate Anti-Stratfordians.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Anti-Stratfordians are the people who think that William Shakespeare's plays were not written by a man named William Shakespeare from Statford-upon-Avon.

I don't like them. I don't like them, not one bit.

I can understand why some scholars might speculate that these brilliant pieces of literary genius could not have ever been written by some country boy who had only a junior high-equivalent education (well, by their standards - I don't know any junior high kids who have studied Latin and ancient Greek). Still, I think the theory is stupid because it misses the point. Even if you have years of rigorous academic training at Oxford or wherever that does not make you a talented writer or poet. It just makes you really, really studious.

Granted, I'm not saying Shakespeare wasn't intelligent. I think he was someone who was very smart and gifted but simply did not have the means to attend university. He seems to me like he was the self-study type. I also think he had a natural-born talent for writing and putting words together. Some would call it "God-given talent", but being that I'm an atheist, I'm going to simply say that he got two copies of the recessive AWESOME gene from the 'rents.

Still, what irks me about the whole thing is that the Anti-Stratforidans are incredibly arrogant. They think that just because the man didn't go to college or wasn't part of the aristocracy that he couldn't have written these works. They look down upon the man we know as William Shakespeare because he wasn't an upper class gentleman. You don't have to be in the upper class to be talented.

Le sigh. I know, this whole post is probably a little silly-sounding to most people. I was just working on my Shakespeare homework and it started to bother me again. I needed to let that out.

Bill Shakespeare's mah homeboy. Don't mess with him, or I'll mess with 'chu.

<3

New sorta-kinda job.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 06:08:00 +0000

That's right. I "sorta-kinda" got a new job.

I'm not really allowed to say here details about what I do, but it's an independent contractor position where I reply to texts from customers.

...and before you jump to conclusions, it is NOT phone sex.

I can't get into details, because I'm "kinda-sorta" under contract not to tell publicly. If you know me in person you can go ahead and ask, though. I'm not working for the government so it's not like the CIA is spying on me. Well, okay, since this is the United States under the Bush administration, the CIA probably is spying on me anyway. Le sigh...

The point of my even mentioning it here is so that you all know that I am "kinda-sorta" now employed! Yay! Whoo hoo!!! I'm getting back into the freelancing as well. It's a good way to make money and not feel the pressure of *BUM BUM BUUUUUM* actual employment.

Other than that, the other big news right now is that we had to take one of our guinea pigs, Happy, to the vet tonight. The poor little guy... We're not quite sure what happened, but we think Harry got a little crabby or something and Happy's eye got injured. Again, we can't know for sure, but we heard a very loud squeal and rushed over to see what was up. Ross reached in the cage and grabbed the first pig he could reach, which happened to be Happy, and we checked him over. We immediately noticed that his left eye was discolored and there was some blood down by the eyelid. He wasn't actively bleeding, but we were still very concerned so we put in a call to an emergency vet in St. Paul. They recommended we bring him in, and although perhaps many guinea pig owners would have simply waited until Monday morning to take him to the vet, Ross and I love our piggy guys so much we couldn't bear to wait all night without knowing what was up.

After procuring a Zipcar (and a really cool one at that - a Honda Civic hybrid!), we arrived at the emergency vet within an hour of discovering Happy's injury. The clinic is a small place on University avenue within blocks of the state capital. I parked the car facing the street and as I was turning it off I happened to look at the building across the street. It was a small shop called "Hmongland". Now, this wasn't especially remarkable really, considering the neighborhood we were in has a lot of Hmong people living in it, but it happened to spark a rather amusing memory from the other day. Ross was just telling me about how his racist-yet-endearing grandfather had called and reminded him to "be careful our critters didn't escape or the Hmongs would eat 'em".

We decided it would be best not to tell his grandpa about this adventure so close to "Hmongland". Ross figured his grandpa would say something along the lines of, "Well, I guess if they don't save 'em at that place they just send them 'cross the street so the Hmongs can eat 'em!"

It's horrible, I know, but he's pretty sure his grandpa would say something like that, and subsequently remember awhile afterwards that he probably shouldn't.

We walked in, handed the little pink critter carrier over to the vet tech, and filled out the usual paperwork. They wanted to know some of the basics, like how old he was, if he had access to timothy hay, what we feed him, any other pets in house, etc. I was in a hurry, as always, so I scribbled things down pretty quickly. When the question, "Has your pet been on any different foods?" (or something to that effect) came up I checked yes and wrote down "previous owners" on the line next to it. I'd already moved onto the next question when Ross started to giggle.

"...So he used to eat his previous owners?"

Okay, so all joking aside, we were still very worried about our little Happy. While we were waiting for the vet to examine him, we chatted a bit with the vet tech. We mentioned how we figured he was overweight (well, he is rather chubby!) and she informed us that they did weigh him: almost three pounds! Sadly, there's not a whole lot you can do to put guinea pigs on a diet, especially when they live in your kitchen and they come up to the cage and gnaw on the bars whenever you open the refridgerator.

So, to make an already long story slightly less novelesque, the vet gave us some antibiotics and some pain medication for him and recommended that we take him into our normal vet if he doesn't get better in a few days. She commented on the report that he was an "opinionated guinea pig who is very nibbly". I was a little offended by that, because she didn't seem to take into account the fact that the poor little guy was hurt, scared, and with a bunch of strange people poking stuff in his already-injured eye.

Plus, he's not too bright and thinks just about everything is edible.

Have a good night, kids. I'd better go check on some silly piggies.

Things sure have been... interesting.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:03:00 +0000

Ah, time for yet another update about the life and times of Janna. How exciting.

First things first - I am officially no longer employed by Best Buy. I'm disappointed, but at this point I am far too ashamed to go back. I feel awful about how I conducted myself in those last few weeks and I just don't think I can face everyone again.

Second, and more important (if you ask me), is that Ross and I have yet again added to our menagerie. We got a little hedgehog named Henry. He is the cutest little thing! He's around seven or eight weeks old, which is perfect because he should bond very well to us. We looked into getting a rescue 'hog first but were unable to find one. Also, we really did want a younger one so that he would bond to us better. We had to scour the pet shops in the area, since none of the local breeders had hoglets available and most pet stores were either out or had waiting lists. We finally found Henry at the Har Mar Mall pet shop in St. Paul. I wasn't exactly thrilled with the place, as I felt the tiny cages some of the animals (including puppies) were in just didn't quite cut it in my book. Still, we fell in love with a multi-colored hoglet and we couldn't resist.

I began group therapy again yesterday. It's interesting as always, though I'm not quite sure what to think about those in my group. They all seem like nice people but I feel rather naive. All of them have kids to take care of and are well into adulthood, even if they aren't all very old. I feel slightly out of place because my situation is very different. Perhaps it will be a good learning experience, though; and it feels great to finally have a place where I can vent my feelings and get multiple opinions from both therapists and other crazies like myself.

Ross will be home soon. Yay! I'll try to write something more significant later. <3's.

So, I still exist.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:41:00 +0000

I haven't touched this thing in months. I decided I wanted to get back into the blog thing today, so I revamped the look of this blog and I purchased a domain that should be working in a few days (th1nkp1nk.net - hooray!).

Here's a brief update about what's been going on in my life as of late.

I was hired at Best Buy this summer. A brand new, very spiffy-looking store was opening at the Mall of America. After losing my previous job, I thought, what the hell? I put in an application, and much to my surprise I was hired. I worked in computer sales and made pretty good money considering I was just starting. I absolutely loved working there. Sure, Best Buy is an "evil corporation" like the rest of them, but for a major corporation I don't think they are too bad. They're based here in Minnesota, and the corporate office is not even ten miles away from our store. They treat us well, and everyone is very nice. They are far more customer-focused than other chains. Plus, I really did get to help people. People need computers, and most people know nothing about them so it was fun to share my nerdy knowledge with others.

Of course, as with almost everything else in my life, I screwed it up. I started having panic attacks again and didn't show up for work a few times. I haven't been there in nearly a month and I honestly don't know if I still have a job. I told one of my managers that I needed a break to get myself back on track, and now I've tried to contact her and haven't been able to do so. I guess I'll update you if I hear anything new in regards to that, but at this point I'm pretty sure they don't want a nutcase like me there anymore.

Oh, I also am dropping out of school. I think school is what's been causing most of my anxiety and panic in the first place. I was very diligent and reliable at my job before school started, and after the new semester started up that's when my problems began. I was only taking two classes, one of which was guitar lessons, but I couldn't even handle that.

I realize I must sound very down on myself, and I really am lately, but I'm not too depressed. I'm certainly not as depressed as I have been in the past. I'm going to be joining up with the day treatment program I was in back in the summer of '07 to hopefully get myself back on track mental health-wise. Plus, it's fun commiserating with others about being crazy. I rather enjoy it.

Hm, what else? I got a new kitten. His name is Wesley. Yes, I named him after Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: TNG. He's just, well, a Wesley. What else can I say? He was twelve weeks old when I got him and he certainly has grown. He's going to be quite the chubs when he's all grown up, that's for sure. I post pictures later, I promise!

I moved in with Ross. We were struggling to pay the bills living on our own, so we squished all of our things and our pets into his apartment. At the moment, we now have three cats, three guinea pigs, three hamsters, two rabbits, two rats, and a chinchilla in a "large" studio apartment. I do realize we're a little crazy about critters, but we're happy and that's what counts, I think. I wish we had more space but overall I'm rather content with the situation. Plus, sharing the bills makes things much easier financially for the both of us. I was essentially living with him by this summer anyway, as I didn't really enjoy being alone so much.

Things with Ross are great, too. We luff each other. <3 Not much else needs to be said about that now, but I'm sure I'll gush more about how awesome he is in the future.

I think I'll wrap this up now. I'm going to focus my posts less on my mental issues and more on my various musings and feelings about the things going on around me. Politics and world affairs will sneak in on occasion (Obama/Biden '08, bitches!) but for the most part I just need a place to get my feelings out there and to continue to write things on a daily basis. Maybe I'll start writing more short stories, too. Who knows?

Thanks for, uh, listening? Whatevs. Catch ya laterz.

Okay, okay, so I haven't posted in over a month...

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 05:14:00 +0000

I apologize to anyone who actually reads this thing. I just haven't had much to say, really. Here's a quick update...

I still have restless legs problems on occasion but it's getting better. I can actually sleep now.

Ross and I are still incredibly in love and happy. We're celebrating our one year anniversary on July 1st with a three day trip to Duluth where we'll be staying at a GORGEOUS bed and breakfast called the Cotton Mansion.

The critters are all well. The hermit crab died a few days ago, and as much as I love critters I'm pretty glad he's gone. I never wanted him in the first place (he was abandoned in the apartment I was in last summer) but I took care of it expecting it would die within a month or two like the hermit crabs I had as a kid. Well, a year later and the thing was STILL kicking. It's gone now and I don't think I'll ever own another hermit crab again (unless I have lil' kids who want one, but that's waaaay down the road).

Oh, in other critter news, I came home from work the other day to find that Hermia, one of my rats, had a huge chunk taken out of her ear and was bleeding a lot! Fortunately, it must have happened shortly before I came home because the wound was still fresh and I was able to stop the bleeding. I think Helena must've bit down too hard while the two were play fighting. I'm sure it wasn't anything malicious because the two wrestle all the time and if they got into a serious fight it would probably end in one of them dead or severely injured. Good thing that didn't happen!! I'm disinfecting the wound every night to make sure it heals properly and doesn't get infected. I really can't afford any more vet bills right now.

After searching for a new job to no avail, I finally got the guts to ask parking if they'd take me back. Much to my surprise, they said yes!! I was genuinely shocked, in all honesty. My little "issues" had caused me to be a pretty horrible employee. I started working again last week and it feels good to finally have something that requires me to actually get out of bed in the morning.

For the most part, I have been fairly stable. Granted, I still have to do a little work when it comes to getting up in the morning when I'm not scheduled to work and such, but I'm doing much better. Ross has been a HUGE help, especially in the mornings.

I got my tuition refund. I'm not sure how much my tuition was for last semester in its entirety, but I'm pretty sure I got a decent chunk of it back. The refund was nearly $3900. I'm going to use it to pay off most of the loan I had to take out a few months back so I don't get stuck with massive amounts of interest.

I'm still struggling with the whole "paying bills on time" thing. I haven't been real organized so I've forgotten on occasion. Perhaps I should get a little white board for my kitchen and write down the due dates for these things so I don't kill my credit and get stuck with more late charges.

I got an extension on my logic course. I wanted to complete it on time or even early, but things just don't pan out the way we'd like sometimes. I'm picking away at it and I hope to have all of the assignments done by the end of the month. I still will have the two exams to take, but those shouldn't be too tough. Since I'm taking the class pass-fail, it'll be fairly simple to get the C- I need to pass even if I do horribly on the tests.

Ross and I went to Barack Obama's big "I am the Democratic nominee for president" rally at the Xcel Energy Center last Tuesday. It was absolutely AMAZING! That man gives me hope that perhaps this country isn't doomed after all.

Ross has been sick with mono for the past month or so. At first we thought I had it, too, but it turns out I just had the flu at the same time he found out he had mono. We just assumed when he was tested positive for it that I had it as well since I was also sick. I haven't had the constant fatigue and lingering symptoms that he's had, though. I was over it in a week or so and he's still tired pretty much constantly. It's no fun at all, for either of us.

Hm, I can't think of anything else too important that's gone on recently. For my own benefit, I'm going to make a list of a few goals I have for the next month or two. You can probably ignore this part.

Write more.
Make an effort to not take on too much work.
Eat better.
Make some new friends.
Go to Lake Calhoun with Ross sometime soon.
Get up in the mornings.
DO NOT GET MORE CRITTERS.

I think that's all for now. If I think of anything else of interest I'll post it tomorrow. I have a lovely twelve hours of work tomorrow. I know, I know, I said I wouldn't take on too much, but I like doing a bunch of work in one or two days and having the rest of the week off. It's much easier.

Anyway. I <3 you all!

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Whoops, I forgot to write...

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:41:00 +0000

Lately I haven't had much to write about, so I have been forgetting to write. Sorry. Not like many people care much anyway...

Today was excellent. Ross and I went for a long walk down to the Midtown Global Market. There, we got ice cream and looked around. Following that was a trip to Target to pick up a few necessities and a nice walk back home. It's a gorgeous day outside. A nice breeze kept us cool as the sun shone down upon us, tanning (or, in my case, burning) our pale complexions. It was rather enjoyable.

Now, I'm sitting at a coffee shop trying to get my tuition refund letter done but not having any luck. I'm too bothered by my legs. Unfortunately, restless legs syndrome is something that runs in my family so it's not unusual that I have it, though it's been very bad lately. Since I was a kid I've had it on and off and most of the time it's merely a minor irritation. This time, though, it's been keeping me awake until 4 or 5 in the morning. I know that the reason I'm feeling it right now is because I've had a little too much caffeine today, though for the most part I've cut back on my caffeine consumption. I've been taking my vitamin supplements, too, so it's not the usual iron deficiency that's causing it. I'm not really sure what the problem is, but I'm going to try soaking in a warm bath tonight before bed.

I'd better get back to "work". <3

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Trying to keep my cool.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:09:00 +0000

I'm very energetic today. A little too energetic. Either it's the caffeine or the Adderall that's causing this, but either way I'm going to try to keep my cool so that I don't burn myself out. After about two weeks without any Adderall, I finally got around to the pharmacy to refill my prescription. I feel much better now. For some reason, I kept forgetting or when I did remember I just didn't feel like going.

The Lamictal is working quite well, though. I'm not quite as hungry as I was before and I am feeling much more stable. I won't know for a couple more weeks now just how effective it'll be, but I have high hopes for this one. Perhaps I've finally found the medications that work best for me.

Oh yes, it's spring! YAY! I do enjoy the lack of snow. Not needing a coat to go outside is nice as well. Sure, if it were 50 degrees in other parts of the country, people would be wearing parkas, hats, and gloves. Only in Minnesota does 50 degree weather cause people to break out their shorts and sandals.

Much love <3

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Freedom.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:53:00 +0000

I'm officially free. I am no longer employed. I can't work for parking anymore because I'm not taking enough credits at school. So, that's it. I'm now just going to work on my freelancing and on taking care of myself. I need to learn to relax, to flow with things, and to enjoy my life. I think this time's going to be vital for me. Wish me luck :)

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I'm okay now.

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:54:00 +0000

I'm feeling better now. I am much more motivated today. I've written three freelance articles, bid on a few freelance projects, and I have even stuck to a fairly healthy diet thus far. I'm hoping the new meds are helping. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but my doctor switched me to Lamictal. It takes awhile to build up so we'll see if it's going to work or not in the next few weeks.

The new meds always give me hope. I just hope that this one doesn't let me down, too. Wish me luck

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Sad day...

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 03:30:00 +0000

Today was pretty sad.

After numerous attempts at combining Zumi with my new chinchillas, Zelda and Zinnia, I gave up. I was pretty much ready to take them into the humane society when I saw an ad on craigslist. A young couple was looking for some chinchillas. They came and took them home. They were really sweet people who love animals so I was glad to see them get a good home.

It's a little depressing, but that's not what's really got me down right now.

I am fat. I am so super fat. I've gained so much weight recently. I haven't gone down to the YWCA since last week. I keep meaning to but I run out of time or I forget. I keep eating junk food, too. I crave it madly. It's ridiculous. I hate what I've become. I'm so incredibly ugly. Ross says I'm beautiful and all but I'm beginning to wonder about his standards of beauty. He says I'm more beautiful now than when I was a senior in high school. What the hell? I was freakin' hot back then. How can anyone see a fat blob like me as beautiful? I sure as hell don't see it.

Sigh. I need to sleep.

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Y-W-C-A!

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 02:09:00 +0000

That's right, folks: Janna's finally getting off her ass and getting herself back into shape. I am getting a membership to the YWCA where I am going to work out six days a week.

Not only do I want my former fit physique back, but I want to feel better. I want this damn anxiety to go away. I want to concentrate, to function, and most of all, I want to live. I know exercise can and does help me. Today I was incredibly proud of myself. I had just two hours before work, but I managed to get myself down to the Y, get a quick tour of the place, and try out the facilities. What would I have done had I not done this? Taken a nap.

Sleep is for sissies.

I feel really good now. A tad manic, but that's okay. I like being manic. I'm not actually bipolar, because my manic swings aren't severe enough for it to be classified as bipolar. So, for me, being manic is good. I am filled with energy, ambition, and drive. Perhaps this is the way I am
supposed to be. Maybe this is what I was meant to feel like.

Either that or I've had far too much caffeine today. That's always a possibility.

Love you all.
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Things fall apart...

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 02:04:00 +0000

Nothing is ever constant in life, is it? Things are always changing, always moving, always different. My mood reflects this nicely. One day, I am full of hope and excitement for life. The next, I can hardly crawl out of bed to cross the street in my pajamas for a burrito at Taco Bell. Life is funny like that, I suppose. I never really know what I want. I mean, sure, there are some things that are constant: my love for Ross and critters, that's one example. Another example is my dream for the future. I believe I've written about it before.

I've made a decision that's going to bring me a little closer to my dream. I've decided to drop my classes and take the rest of the semester off to work on my writing.

When I sat down and thought, "What do I really want to do?" that's what I came up with. I don't want to go to school or work. I want to sit here at the coffee shop or at another coffee shop or anywhere really and just write. I know that my writing is the one skill I have that I can depend on. It's what I am meant to do, I suppose.

I'm not giving up. I'm simply taking a different direction for now. I'll go back to school in the fall, and in the meantime I still have a few distance learning classes to finish up. I'll never be a "traditional four-year student". Then again, I'll probably never be a "traditional person", either. That's just not how I roll.

Oh yeah, and Ross and I got guinea pigs. They're in his apartment and they're ADORABLE. Hehe.

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I fixeded it!

noreply@blogger.com (I'm Janna.) — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 21:36:00 +0000

I was already making plans to buy a new laptop rather than spending $200 on replacement parts when I got an ingenious idea for fixing my CD/DVD drive: dusting it. I blew inside the compartment where the drive sits, and lo and behold, IT WORKS!!

I'm feeling rather accomplished, and I'm happy because now I can watch a movie while I'm at work here. I'm currently watching Seven Samurai which is pretty good so far but I just hate watching movies alone. It's not my thing. I like to have someone to watch it with.

The other day, Ross and I took Daisy on her date with a handsome little bunny boy named Gizmo. He's a "special needs" bunny; he's got a problem with his front legs. They don't work very well and he probably doesn't have any feeling in them. He hops around with a swimming-like motion, but he gets around nonetheless. He's absolutely adorable! The date went rather well. I was worried about Daisy, though, because there was a cold wind outside and we had to wait for the train, the bus, and for our ride to the Animal Humane Society in Golden Valley. Still, she and Gizmo got along wonderfully. The two of them are so cute together!

In other news, Ross and I are probably going to get guinea pigs as well. We found a few pigs on Petfinder that we really like, so we've got some choices. I am so excited! It's so nice to be in love with someone who shares your love for critters :D

Love you all. Buh bye.

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