I watched with wonder as my girlfriends mother came out of the family house with a machete one morning and proceeded towards the bamboo patch around the side of the house. She cut down 2-8 foot sections of bamboo and then continued chopping those sections down to 1 foot pieces. She then grabbed two tiny stools and sat down amongst the family and started splitting the bamboo down to 1″x1′ pieces. Once this was done she would then use her teeth to separate these 1 inch pieces into 4 separate pieces.

All the while she tended to her child and grand child and continued her lively conversations with her sisters and brother. She was preparing the bamboo for new sticky rice containers which would become a part of their every day life. Some of the containers are very large while others are very small and they all serve their purpose equally well. When lunch time comes 4 sticky rice containers are brought out and spread out among the family so everyone had sticky rice within arms reach. Later, when Uncle went to work he was given a small personal sticky rice container to snack on through the day.

The bamboo is cut and dried and then woven into whatever sized basket is needed. It seems easy enough but there is more to it than that. The interaction between family and friends while the weaving is taking place and then the meals where they are used by family and friends alike. Often times friends coming by the farm would bring their own containers of sticky rice to share. They also make an appearance when friends are gathered just to talk or when a break in work is needed. It’s more about coming together and sharing time with people you care about.

On the family farm much of what is needed is often produced by the family. I suspect that even if they were willing to spend the 100-200 baht for the sticky rice containers they would still make them themselves because it seems to me it’s more about family and community rather than containers and food. It’s a way for them to spend time together working on something that is important to the family and the community.

Next time you see a sticky rice container in use look around and I bet you’ll see many smiling faces around it. Maybe Thailand should export the sticky rice containers full of rice to the west with instructions for use…who knows maybe the decline in family and community will slowly turn around and people will spend face time together again instead of texting, e-mailing or just locking themselves away with the internet and T.V for company.

Normally when I stay in Pattaya I like to book a nice room in a small boutique hotel because they are much cheaper and they have less rooms which means more attention is payed to the guests they have. Personally I love to stay in the Soi Bukow/Soi Dianna area because it’s central to everything.

This past trip in April I decided to stay at the LK Renaissance Hotel Soi Dianna. I had seen it being built in early 2008 and it looked like it was going to be very nice. Considering it was being built by the LK group who also own the LK Metropole there really was no doubt just how nice it would be.

When I began booking flights I looked into the LK renaissance and found that their smallest room, the suite, would run me about $70 a night. I decided to check the prices of several online hotel booking sites and found that the same room through Agoda would cost me $52 a night including all tariffs so I booked the room through Agoda.

From the second we arrived at the LK renaissance I was very impressed with the way they were met at our taxi by the doorman who removed our bags and brought them inside. While we were filling out the usual paperwork at reception the bell boy took our bags to the room and we were served complimentary drinks. When we completed the check in paperwork we were informed that we would receive a complimentary breakfast for 2 each morning in their adjoining restaurant. A nice touch as the usual breakfast deals are normally just for one person.

The suite room at the LK Renaissance is the cheapest and smallest accommodation they have, it was neither small or cheap in appearance. The room was large and very well appointed. When you enter there is a small kitchen area across from the bathroom. The kitchen area has a nice sized refrigerator, a sink and some cabinets to store snacks. This area opens up into the room which has a king sized bed, a writing/computer table, a large flat screen T.V with a DVD/CD player, a small eating area and a small sofa.

The room also had a balcony to the rear of the building which is great considering the LK renaissance is directly across from the beer bars on Soi Dianna which can be quite loud at night. Although small, the balcony is still useable. It seems that all of the suites face the rea of the building.

The bathroom is very large with a jacuzzi tub and a large sink area. My only complaint was the shower head is actually a hand held type that lifts out of the tub and no shower curtain. Minor things that you will get used to but they can be a pain at times.

The bed was by far the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in in Thailand. The wardrobe was adequate with space for hanging clothes and drawers for folded clothes. There is also an in room safe located in wardrobe.

As usual with all hotels they offer the standard amenities such as laundry service, day trips to local attractions and room service. And as usual they are over priced for these services. With several small laundry services located right on Soi Dianna as well as travel agencies there is no need to to bother using LK Renaissance for either of  these services.

LK Renaissance also owns a Spa that adjoins the hotel as well as their own restaurant. While I didn’t use the Spa I did eat breakfast in the restaurant daily. The breakfast was standard fare for Pattaya, offering both English, American and Thai style breakfasts cooked to order. I could find no fault with the restaurant or it’s service staff, everything was fine. They also offer lunch and dinner but I didn’t eat either there. Room service can be had from early in the morning until late at night.

LK Renaissance also has a small pool located on the fourth floor. Although a bit small it’s an excellent place to relax on those hot afternoons.

The front desk personnel were above average and were happy to help with any request from getting a room cleaned later in the day to getting extra towels. They also offer free DVD’s from their very large collection that you can borrow for the night or several nights if you so choose.

Everything about my stay at the LK Renaissance was perfect and I plan on staying there again. For more information on the LK Renaissance as well as their sister hotels you can visit the LK hotel Group. I would highly recommend booking rooms at the LK Renaissance through either Agoda or any of the other online hotel services to get the absolute best deal on rooms.

This is a story that I find myself very interested in because I have a vested interest on both sides of this coin. As a long time heavy smoker I recently decided it was time for me to quit. after serious research into all the products out there that purported to help smokers quit I finally came across one that did…it helped me quit in hours not days or months.

The product I discovered was an Electronic Cigarette. There are many brands of e- cigarettes and they come in many shapes and sizes but they all utilize the same technology. The e- cigarette is commonly comprised of 3 parts: a battery, an atomizer and a cartridge that holds nicotine suspended in propylene glycol. The battery heats the atomizer which in turn vaporizes the propylene glycol which in turn delivers the nicotine into the lungs and produces a nice vapor that makes it look like you are smoking.

It doesn’t take long to realize that this device tackles many of the smokers problems in one fell swoop. Obviously the nicotine is a major factor but it also addresses the hand to mouth need and the ever important feel of smoking or action of inhaling and exhaling a vapor.

Unfortunately there are highly uneducated people in the world who happen to be in the pockets of big tobacco because as of this time many countries, including Thailand, are moving to ban e-cigarettes.

Public Health Minister Chaiya Sasomsab ordered a study on information of electronic cigarettes to find measures to prevent importing e-cigarettes to Thailand because existing law doesn’t cover the new product.

The e- cigarette consists of a cartridge, an atomizer, and a rechargeable battery. It doesn’t contain tobacco but it has nicotine, propylene glycol, a chemical used in a fog machine, and fruity taste. Each cartridge is the equivalent of 15 conventional cigarettes.

The public health minister said that although e-cigarettes don’t emit smoke, they pose harm to smokers with the level of nicotine higher than found in conventional cigarettes.

He ordered the Food and Drug Administration to conduct a study of e-cigarettes and to discuss with agencies concerned to draw out preventive measures.

Mr. Chaiya said the target group of this new product is young people as they are eager to try a new thing.

He added that the intake of nicotine is approximately 50 microgrammes for each inhalation. The substance can cause harm to heart and blood vessels.

The level of nicotine in blood as high as 25-50 nanogrammes per millilitre can increase a risk of having Ischemic heart disease

This seems to be the pat answer from related agencies world wide. In America the newly empowered FDA is looking at the e-cigarette the same way now that they are to control tobacco’s future.

The real problem here is the amount of nicotine delivered by the devices. You can buy pre-filled cartiges in strengths ranging from 0 mg of nicotine to 36 mg of nicotine as well as nicotine liquid in the same strengths that the user can fill their own cartridges with. Obviously nicotine does have the downside of contracting vessels and arteries but what exactly is the difference when a smoker of cigarettes can vary the amount of nicotine they receive by smoking more or less and they ingest over 4000 other chemicals along with that nicotine.

The tobacco company giants such as Phillip Morris have seen the future and it is indeed bleak for them. The tobacco giants wrote the bills that President Obama signed into law last week which gives them a leg up with the FDA. You can bet they have been at work world wide to get e-cigarettes banned.

Phillip Morris helps to kill over 400,000 of their best customers every year…the e-cigarette has not been linked to one death much less one illness since it’s introduction to the world in 2004.  Are you starting to see the BIG picture now?

Thailand and other countries are telling the world that these products should be banned because there is no way to regulate nicotine usage. While you could die if you ingested large amounts of nicotine by drinking it, by using a nicotine inhaler, vaporizer, or cigarette the most you could do is overdose on nicotine which is basically feeling dizzy, nauseated, and having a bad headache…looks like beer might have to be banned as well.

Aside from the fact that e-cigarettes are only delivering one chemical, nicotine, they also are helping people to cut down and stop smoking cigarettes which contain known carcinogens. In addition to tar, there is also carbon monoxide, ammonia and arsenic among other chemicals….4000 other chemicals!

Many studies including some sponsored by governments world wide, have shown that nicotine also has it’s upsides such as:

• Nicotine maydelay the onset and effects of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases.
• Nicotine  may  improve symptoms of attention deficit disorder and also Tourette’s syndrome.
• Nicotine has  been found to influence mood, mental alertness, and addiction.
• Scientists have discovered that nicotine acts on nerve cells to enhance the release of neurotransmitters, chemicals that relay messages within the brain and nicotine increases a person’s ability to focus and pay attention.
• Nicotine is also known to switch on receptors on the surface of cells in certain parts of the brain, causing these neurons to release the Neuro-transmitter dopamine, a chemical that is responsible for feelings of pleasure.

Why don’t we take the potential benefits of Nicotine seriously?

Efforts by the anti smoking lobby to stop smoking, have seen nicotine’s potential benefits not get the recognition they deserve. Nicotine is simply seen as being bad due to its association with smoking, even though it is just one of numerous chemicals contained in a cigarette.

This is really like saying wheat is bad for you as some beers use wheat in the brewing process and people die of alcohol abuse. Of course, wheat in it’s natural state is not the cause of death and we all know that, however we are less open minded on our view of nicotine.

I love Thailand and plan on living there soon enough. I also loved smoking but knew it was time to stop. I now have a device that allows me to enjoy a semblance of smoking and is very satisfying and yet it isn’t killing me. If the big tobacco companies have their way with the governments of the world I will soon enough be a criminal along with all the other e-cigarette users out there. Whether it be Thailand or America I will continue to use my e-cigarette and live to tell my tale.

Below are some videos showing the e-cigarette in action for those of you that have never seen it.

If you are anything like me when you first hear about rural Thailand you brain conjures images of grass thatched huts, traditional Thai clothing and half naked women working the fields. Alright, the half naked woman thing is just a defect in my brain but the rest is usually what a westerner sees in their mind if they have never been to rural Thailand.

Of course those images couldn’t be further from the truth. While the Nakhon Phanom one evening taking pictures.

There is a small park right on the Mekong between the Grand View Hotel and the View Kong Hotel in Nakhon Phanom where every evening at 4pm a regular excercise class is held. As much as most of us would like to believe that Thai women don’t have to do anything to maintain their lithe figures, they would disagree.

The evening excercise class is free to anyone that would like to take part and it even includes an instructor with a sound system and music to work out with. A lot of ladies and some husbands turn out for the free classes and they seem to have a great time. They even bring their children who have a nice playground to play in while Mommy or Daddy work out.

If dancersize isn’t your thing the small park also has outdoor workout equipment such as weight benches, stationary bikes and ab crunch machines. If running is your thing the whole park has a nice track surrounding it that gets some serious use.

Even the Thais realize that it takes more than a good diet to keep yourself fit and healthy. If you are ever in the vicinity of Nakhon Phanom and are looking for a good workout give the park a try, I’m sure you’ll be pleased.

With the recent birth of a baby Panda cub to Lin Hui and Xuang Xuang at Chiang Mai zoo in Bangkok everyone in Thailand has had Pandas on their mind. This has upset local Elephant keepers at the Ayutthaya-Elephant Kraal.

With announcements of a 20 million baht snow house being built for the Panda family the keepers are wondering just why Thailand has forgotten that the Elephant is their national symbol.

Aside from speaking up about the problem the Elephant keepers at the Ayutthaya-Elephant Kraal have taken it one step further by painting five of  their elephants to look like Pandas. This attention grabbing effort seems to be doing the job as Thai people are not only noticing but applauding their efforts. Although rumor has it some Panda lovers are slightly irked.

The keepers were quick to let everyone know that the paint was only water colors but I for one hope that these images make a lasting impression long after the paint has been washed off. Much still needs to be done to protect Thailand’s national treasure and make sure they will always be safe and well treated in the kingdom.

It may be a publicity stunt but I have to say that the Elephant Pandas are much cuter than their Chinese friends currently in the spotlight.

Photo’s courtesy AFP/Getty & Reuters

Soap Opera’s, or serials if you like,  are a unique American invention of story telling that took the world by storm and no place loves their soaps more than Thailand. Originally serials started on the radio and would be a nightly or weekly productions that lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour.

After the advent of television they really found a home. By the 1950’s every American television station had one or more being broadcast everyday to those lonely housewives who, incidentally, were in charge of the household expenses. Marketers seeing money signs saw a very susceptible audience in those housewives and television ads really took off.

The nickname “soap opera” comes from the fact that the first real advertisers to the television serial were soap manufacturers and the fact that they were clean wholesome entertainment. I don’t think they ever expected them to be what they are today.

In Thailand they have to be multi billion baht operations because I swear every channel has at least 3 or 4 running daily and well into the night. The old joke has it that the Thai’s have 3 favorite pastimes…eating, sleeping and watching Thai soaps. I can tell you from experience there really is no joke there.

When I’m in Thailand it doesn’t matter what is going on because at the appointed times of 1pm, 2pm and 8pm Pookie’s favorite soaps are on. Alright, that might not be totally true but when there isn’t something important going on she will be in front of the television at those times for sure. She has even gone as far as to make sure if we are going out to lunch to steer me towards a restaurant that has a television and female waitresses…becauce they all watch the same soaps.

When We were in Bangkok this past April I wanted to hit a lot of the sights I hadn’t seen before and since this was a mini vacation for Pookie you can imagine that sight seeing wasn’t on her agenda. I would get funny looks whenever the 1 o’clock hour approached but being resourceful as she is we usually were headed to a restaurant around that time and damned if they didn’t all have televisions!

Going to Wat Arun or the Grand Palace? No problem, there is a restaurant on that pier just as you disembark the water taxi and they have a nice big T.V.  Chinatown, MBK, the floating market? Doesn’t matter where you go there is a T.V. and you can bet at the appointed hour there will be Thai women around it watching the soaps. My favorite was out in the rice fields in Nakhon Phanom there are little huts or covered platforms to take a break in from the hot sun. I noticed that one of these tiny platforms had electricity fed to it and when I asked my girl she said it was for many things. Her brother laughed and told me it was so the women wouldn’t miss their soaps while working in the fields.

If you are a Falang in a relationship with a Thai woman then this isn’t news to you, you’ve seen all the same ones I have. It isn’t so bad though, they can actually help with learning Thai.  I’ve found that even the parts where I’m not sure what they are saying I can still figure out what is going on. And I get that quality time with my lady…as long as I don’t make fun of whats going on and I’m relatively quiet. You can bet I get dirty looks throughout the hour especially when an actress is crying, which is every 3.2 minutes on the dot.

And nothing has changed much from the marketers standpoint, they still know their audience and instead of soap they sell whitening cream and shampoo. Trust me the marketing works and as far as my girl is concerned she would be coal black if it weren’t for whitening cream.

I have to admit though I have become kinda hooked on the one Thai soap that is pictured throughout this post although I’m not sure why. I’m sure Pavlov’s dog never knew why he was hungry every time he heard a bell either.

Extra points if you can name the soap pictured…

Sure, there is the language barrier but most people in similar relationships will tell you what I’m about to tell you…thats easy. Especially when you both have at least a small grasp of each others language and a willingness to learn. The cultural aspect of my relationship with Pookie has been more of a learning curve, not because I don’t want to learn or am resistant to change, but basically because  I grew up in the west and I have forty some odd years of seeing things one way. So, sometimes I shake my head in wonder about certain things but I am quick to realize that these things are important to Pookie so I do my best to go with the flow. Likewise, Pookie does her best to understand my western background and even understands that every great now and then I need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich…she likes the strawberry preserves but the jury is still out on the peanut butter.

That’s about the way of any relationship though isn’t it? You learn what makes the other person tick, their likes and dislikes. You bring aspects of their life into yours and they do the same. You learn together about each other and sometimes you have to over look the fact that Grandma spit her chaw out the window and it landed on your shoulder…It’s not like she was aiming…I hope.

Probably the biggest consideration in my relationship with Pookie is her family. Thai’s are very family and community orientated which is hard for some Falangs to understand. We love our families in the west but as soon as we are of age we want our freedom, our alone time, our privacy. Thai’s on the other hand do everything they can to remain with their family and family is everything in Thailand.

Pookie’s family goes out of their way to make me feel at home when I am in the village. They always want me to have the best chair, bed, portion of food…I politely decline a lot of the time because I don’t want or like the special attention but sometimes I have to swallow hard and accept things because the family would lose face if I didn’t. I’ve gotten pretty good at realizing when those times are though. Although they treat me very well, and usually send me home with armloads of gifts for my family, I still get the sense that they believe me to be rich…at least the Aunts, Uncles and grandparents do.

Another of the family, a sister on the fathers side, has a Falang husband who apparently buys everything for the family and of course the rest of the family wonder why Pookie’s Falang doesn’t do the same. Like I said earlier I made it very clear in the beginning that I’m not rich but I do what I can to help the family out when they need help, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for Pookie’s little one Fa.  I take the whole family out for Thai BBQ as well. They get all dressed up and there is much face in it for everyone. I get off lightly at roughly $35 for the whole evening and it’s nice to spend the time with her family.

There are some other aspects of this relationship that are difficult to get used to though. Spending any deal of time up country means certain rules are in effect. You don’t hold hands or kiss in public and being the man I haven’t once received the check when out for lunch or dinner, the woman gets the check…but the man still pays. Although it’s trying at times I have to smile because I know it’s trying for Pookie as well. More than a few times I’ve felt her hand slip into mine or have had her turn and give me a kiss only to look around to see if she got caught doing it.

I guess the last aspect of this relationship we have, and another one for the book of cliché’s,  is the age difference. There is an 18 year difference in our ages she being 25 and me being 43. I didn’t go looking for a younger woman and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t looking for an older man, although in Asian societies older men are seen as more stable. It really wouldn’t have mattered to me if she was 18 years my senior, it was never about age and I think there may be another reason for this as well.

I don’t feel like my American self when I am in Thailand, I feel like I’m a better version of me who is more free and susceptible to life and all it has to offer. I’m an explorer who is happy to keep the exploration going without any obvious goal in site, always peeking around the next corner with anticipation like a child looking for Santa on Christmas eve. Pookie doesn’t know the American me, the me that works too much, worries too much, has gotten lost in the remnants of the American dream and I hope she never meets that me because he’s not the me that is full of hope and wonder when he kisses her.  Some may call that a mid life crisis…I’d call it an awakening.

This may not have been a well rounded or full explanation on my experience with the Thai/Falang relationship but thats only because it’s an ongoing tale that hopefully will take a long time to tell.

Sorry about the lateness of this post. I had to upgrade the back end of the blog yesterday and once upgraded a slew of problems attacked. All fixed now. So, on with the story. We last saw our young hero and heroine of the tale in Pattaya.

As I said before I came to Pattaya for fun and Pookie came for the promise of work. When we met she was to begin work at a bar her cousin worked at. She had just arrived in town and the Mamasan of the bar promised to show her the ropes for the first two weeks. When I walked into the bar it was just to have a beer with a few friends and then head on to other bars that night. When I saw her for the first time she had the biggest smile I had ever seen, so I smiled back and she came over and sat with me…and that, as they say, was the end of me.

Although her English is very good she was very shy that night and couldn’t get a lot of English out but we managed to talk a bit and even understand each other. As we were about to move on I asked her if she would like to come with us but the Mamasan wasn’t too keen on that. After some talking everything was ok and we left together. That’s not the easiest thing to admit here but it is what it is. Technically I was her first and only customer and watching her reactions that night to the bars we visited there was no question she was very new to Pattaya.

Later that night we shed the remaining friends who were still bar crawling and headed to a restaurant for dinner. I was very surprised at how much better her english had gotten through the evening and we had a very enjoyable conversation. I eventually found out that other than learning English in school she also had access to an English teacher in her village who she learned even more from.I had also learned about her daughter Fa and everything that led up to her coming to Pattaya to work. The women of Issan take the brunt of all responsibilities in their families and to further that point all you have to do is look at all the women in the sex industry in Thailand.

Before I go any further I guess I should bring up a couple of initial cliché’s. The first being that Thai women who work in the bars are only after your money. While they are after a living they aren’t all after your money…trust me I have none and Pookie and I are still together 2 years on. I have quite a few friends in bar girls and their stories run the gamut. Some come for the allure of a quick buck, some come looking for a foreign husband and yet others come because they have no choice and desperately need money because the jobs they can get back home don’t pay enough to take care of a family.

The second cliché would be that of the foreigner taking up the mantle of the white knight swooping in to protect and take care of the Thai woman. That may be the case in a small percentage of falang/Thai relationships but from what I’ve seen it’s not indicative of the majority. I am certainly in no position to be anyones white Knight and I sometimes wonder if I can even take care of myself… I usually can but you have to remember I have the mind of a 12 year old sometimes.

I guess this also brings up the biggest cliché of them all…Western men are looking for young submissive Asian women to do their bidding in every way from the bedroom to the kitchen. I would say that is probably the worst of all the cliché’s I have ever heard and unfortunately it is usually propagated by western women in my experience. While A lot of Thai women do pursue that role of taking care of their man and family I find that most western men in Thailand are like me. We grew up in families where everyone pitched in and there were no clearly defined roles for men and women.  I can tell you for a fact that their was no man happier in the 70’s when the women’s movement took hold in America and women took to the streets burning their bra’s…Although, I was too young to understand feminism.

As for myself and Pookie I can tell you that our first niggle came early on in the relationship when I decided to do the dishes after dinner one night. She saw me doing the dishes as her being a bad caregiver and I saw it as just doing the dishes. I started to learn a lot more about face and perceived roles in Thai society that night but I still stood my ground. I let her know that night that Any woman I was with would be equal and not be there to serve my every need.

The first thing Mamasan taught her at the bar was the English phrase “Up to you” . When a falang asks what you want to do respond with the obligatory “Up to you”. Whenever pookie would say that I would say ” No, up to us”.  It took her a while but eventually it sunk in. Nowadays I long for the “Up to you”  days because now when she dumps a pile of green vegetables on my plate I hear her say “Up to me teelac…you eat”.

Pookie and I ended up spending 5 weeks together after we first met. We did all the tourist stuff and most nights we spent talking until the sun came up. She had already decided earlier that she was leaving Pattaya and unlike most Thai women I have met she doesn’t care much for Pattaya and absolutely hates Bangkok. She knew of at least one job she might be able to get making 3000 baht a month ( roughly $90.00) . I told her I thought that was a good decision and that I would like to keep in touch and see her again.

This is where the next cliché comes in…”The Sponsor”. While I didn’t pretend to be rich I did tell her I would help her from time to time if needed. Rural Thailand isn’t like Bangkok or many other more westernized areas of Thailand. The people are very poor for the most part but also very rich in community and family. The needs of all are taken into consideration. The majority of men who are in relationships with Thai women from rural Thailand are helping take care of the family one way or another. Sometimes it will be monetarily but there are many other ways from taking care of the children to helping out on the farm.

The average education level reached in rural Thailand is 9th grade. Due to school expenses and the fact that labor is needed, either on the family farm or in the house taking care of the family, most children don’t receive a high school education. This by no means makes them stupid but when it come to job prospects they become severely limited.

Many stories are told nightly in the bars of Pattaya and Bangkok about “The Sponsor”. How he sends money because the buffalo is sick , the family is sick and of course because the children need milk. The stories often find our poor sponsor being suckered out of money because the Thai women are giving it to their husbands/boyfriends. While I know there are many cases like this there are also many that are not. I am very happy to tell you that Pookies water buffalo’s are fine, the family is well, and Fa has her milk. I send a little bit of baht here and there to help out and make sure Fa has milk and when I am in Thailand I help out on the family farm and help with some shopping too. I do what I can to help out but I am never asked for large sums of money or big ticket items.

Now that all that is out of the way it will make it a little easier for me to explain our relationship as it is today and what I get out of what some would percieve as an unequal relationship. All that in the next part.

A little while ago I got an e-mail from Catherine over at WomenLearningThai.com and she would be the impetus for this series of posts. Catherine wrote:

There are way too many cliché’s going around about expat men and Thai
women. I’m guilty of it, and I don’t like seeing myself that way. But I guess
it is because I don’t understand. And I want to.

But no one really writes about the real, honest to goodness caring
relationships. We read about how many difficult some are, etc. And little bits here
and there. And of course, we read tons of the cliché’s. But not the real parts.

Sure, there are posts stating why some guys like Thai gals over
Western gals, but they are used to slam Western women more than
anything else.

So would you be open to writing a post about it? To put things into
some sort of perspective? So that we can have something to point to
amongst all the cacca out there?

A tall order if there ever was one. In order to write about the relationship I have with Pookie,  my Thai girlfriend, I’ll have to write about myself  honestly which is never something I like to do because,  honestly, I’m as flawed as any other human being out there and we never like to look at ourselves that closely. Not to mention the fact that it could get long and boring.

As far as cliché’s go,  there are a lot of them out there concerning western men and Thai women as well as a lot of bad stories and bad feelings. The fact is most cliché’s are born out of truth and there are a lot of truths in all the cliché’s about western/Thai relationships. I can only speak to my knowledge of the situation and what I’ve learned. In order to explain the relationship I have with Pookie I guess I need to start with a little about myself…you know, the unflattering bits.

I found Thailand not too long after my 40th birthday. I was doing very well in my job, had no debt and had some serious pocket change looking to be spent. I have always wanted to travel but up to that point in my life I had never been anywhere. Since I was little I had always wanted to see South East Asia, this was most likely due to the fact that I grew up watching the Vietnam war on the T.V. and,  being young, glossed over the death and destruction and focused on the beautiful back drop.

Long story short ( yeah, right) I looked into Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and Thailand. Thailand won hands down as the travel curve didn’t seem as steep as the other places. Thailand is easily adaptable to the western lifestyle if you are only visiting Bangkok and Pattaya. And to be honest I have always had a penchant for Asian women and the stories I had heard of Thailand’s night life intrigued me.

My first trip to Thailand I spent 16 days between Bangkok and Pattaya. I can’t say I saw much of Thailand but I did see every bar on soi Cowboy and most of the bars in Nana Plaza as well as a good bit of the beer bars and Gogo’s in Pattaya. I wanted to see Thailand but waking up at 3pm every day isn’t conducive to sight seeing.

Like most men that had found Thailand I was back within 6 months for an extended stay. Pattaya is a funny place, most people think the only allure is the young available women but from my experience it’s much more than that. Most men from the west have their close circle of friends but because of marriage or jobs they don’t get out all that much anymore. Pattaya is like being 20 again and friendships and camaraderie are as much a part of the Pattaya scene as the bars and the girls.

I’ve made a fair few good friends in Pattaya but for me it was all about getting away from the stress of my job and America and actually relaxing and enjoying life for once. I wasn’t looking for the proverbial submissive, nubile, young Thai woman to satiate my every need because I had been forgotten by American women or hated them. I love American women and have had very good relationships in the west…I love all women, I was just looking to have fun.

I met Pookie 1 week into my second trip and have been with her for the past 2 years. There have been some ups and downs and the learning curve regarding culture and language, while not being all together too steep, have been a challenge.

Pookie is from Issan and she came to Pattaya the same time I did looking for work. She had given birth to a daughter 6 months before and the Thai boyfriend disappeared from the village when he learned of the pregnancy. It’s a common story of a lot of women from rural Thailand. Pookie comes from Issan which is the North Eastern area of Thailand on the Lao border. Specifically she lives in a small province called Mukdahan. There isn’t much prospect for work in Mukdahan for the average Thai much less a young mother with a limited education. A lot of women from Issan will head to Bangkok or Pattaya in search of work in the tourism industries. Hotels, restaurants, malls and yes the bars. Sending as much money home to the family and children as they can every month and usually living on very little themselves.

I don’t want this story getting too long so I’ve cut it up into several parts. Tomorrow I’ll delve a little further into the background of the relationship and hopefully let the air out of some of those underlying cliché’s.

In the past several days the swine flue cases have trippled in Thailand to 151 infected individuals. Doesn’t sound very scary does it? Because it’s not! This whole swine flu phenomena has gotten out of control and I blame the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control.

Lets look at some facts shall we? The swine flue, or H1N1 as the Americans like to call it so they don’t lose sales of pork, has been reported in over 70 countries so far and has resulted in 144 deaths world wide. The World Health Organization has recently just declared the H1N1 ( I like this name better because of the American stupidity behind it) virus to be a Pandemic.

Let’s look at what Merriam Webster defines a pandemic as: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population. Well the H1N1 virus has definitely occured over a wide geographic area but it most certainly has not affected an exceptionally high proportion of the population. Remember, Thailand has 150 cases and most other countries have at most a few thousand cases.

This supposed pandemic is based solely on it spreading to over 70 countries. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to surmize that by this standard the common cold, chicken pox, venerial disease and herpes are all pandemics and we are all going to die!

The reality is that with travel as cheap and easy as it is in the 21’st century everything is easily spreadable before the person germanating a specific disease even knows they have it. So far it sounds like the WHO and the CDC are doing a lot of crying wolf with nothing more to back it up than the fact that the virus could mutate and become more easily spreadible and deadly. Show me a virus and I’ll show you a virus that could mutate and become more dangerous…doesn’t mean it will.

Coming home from Thailand in May I saw the fruits of this propaganda in action. Many at Bangkok’s airport had masks on and in Tokyo 9 out of 10 people had masks on. But that wasn’t enough for the World Health Organization they needed this to be taken way more seriously so now we have a pandemic that has killed a whopping 144 people world wide.

To understand the enormity of this hoax being perpetrated on the worlds populace lets look at some very real and scary numbers now. In 1908 and 1909 a very real pandemic in the Spanish Influenza killed over 50 million people world wide  in less than a year. While the normal seasonal flu experienced world wide every year kills an estimated 250,000 to 500,000 people. H1N1 has killed 144 people.

Since 1908  there have been 5 flu pandemics declared :

1. 1957: Asian Flu
2. 1968: Hong Kong Flu
3. 1976: Swine Flu Threat
4. 1977: Russian Flu Threat
5. 1997: Avian Flu Threat

There were some very credible threats in this list, namely the 1957 Asian flu and the 1968 Hong Kong flu. The rest have all been cases of the Sky is falling. The 1976 flu cited above was only found in one area of the world, Fort Dix in New Jersey, helluva pandemic that was!

Remember the Avian flu? You don’t hear much about it these days but a few years ago it was all the rage in up and coming pandemics that never were. The Avian flu put a big hurting on tourism in Asia for no reason other than supposedly smart people said there was a problem.

So far H1N1 has crippled Mexico tourism but I suspect places like Thailand and all of South East Asia as well as China will suffer greatly due to the perceived threat of very communal populations. The WHO and CDC should be held responsible for their actions when they paralyze the world community with less than credible threats and cause damage to economies.

Don’t get me wrong here. I believe the WHO and CDC should advise world governments and organizations on the possibilities of outbreaks and possible mutations but what they have done in the case of H1N1 is clearly irresponsible.

You had all better go out and purchase a mask and make sure you get the latest and greatest influenza shots when they are made available ( someone is making billions of dollars off of this) because you don’t want to be #145 in this pandemic that could likely see 200 people die before years end. Remember I warned you!

Soi Bukow Soi Bukaow Soi Bukhao.

The Thai language is a tonal language so it doesn’t lend itself well to phonetic spellings due to the fact that the Thai alphabet is centered moreso around sounds than letters like most western languages. So, it’s always funny to me when I see an arguement pop up on a Thailand based forum or website claiming a correct phonetic spelling for a certain Thai word or place.

Just look at these pictures of a popular road in Pattaya named Soi Bukow or if you like Soi Bukhao. If the Thai’s can’t claim a correct phonetic spelling for it then how can we. Then again, looking at the different mispellings of English signs in Thailand  maybe that arguement falls flat as well

Like many I am learning the Thai language and phonetic spellings of the words really help me sound them out properly. I’ve found that the best phonetic spelling is what works for me not what may be accepted by others.

For instance whenever you see the phonetic spelling for the polite female/male ending of a sentence it’s almost always ka for the female and krup for the male. Ka works because it sounds as it reads and as a Thai female would speak it. Krup on the other hand doesn’t work. Whenever I have heard a Thai male speak it I never hear the R so the the word sounds like cup. Of course there are the words with R sounds where the Thai’s are using an L sound. So the word for foreigner can come out Falang or Farang and in the case of my girls Aunt it comes out Fallung.

As far as phonetic spelling is concerned there is no right or wrong. Whatever works for you and sounds correct when speaking it is fine. Getting the sound and the tone correct is the most important thing and learning from Thai’s is usually the best way to really get the tones correct.

By the way the correct phonetic spelling of the road above is Boocow

In the past day a Thai Tabloid publication called Thai Rath has published a supposed crime scene photo with the head area blacked out. If this is David Carradine then suicide is clearly not an option as the hands of the victim shown are clearly tied above his head.

Carradine’s friends and family are now calling for the FBI to get involved with the Bangkok investigation because if the picture is that of Carradine then someone else was definitely present in the hotel room when he died and may have caused his death.

This doesn’t rule out dangerous sex play but it definitely leaves a lot of unanswered questions.

I won’t be publishing the picture here at Thailand, Land of Smiles out of respect for the friends and family but I will place a link below where you can see a picture of the cover story Thai Rath ran with the picture.

Although I want to be sensitive about this I think it’s important that if this is a crime scene photograph of Carradine’s death that the Thai police bring the person forward who leaked it and and bring them up on charges.

Keep in mind this could very well not be a picture of the crime scene at Carradine’s hotel room. But the photo in question does relay all the same evidence that has been alluded to by people close to Carradine.

Link to photo removed: I find I’m still uncomfortable with this picture and with more inspection of the picture I seriously doubt it was that of David Carradines death. The hotel room is way too small to be that of the hotel he was reported to be staying in and I have yet to see a Thai Tabloid black out any victims face so it’s odd they would do it in this instance.

Seesaw & Ice Cube by Bill Thomas

Cue the Theme song to M*A*S*H

Yesterday actor David Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room. By all accounts this sounds like it was an auto-erotic asphyxiation death, although there are some reports stating his hands were tied as well which could place someone else in the room. If he was alone you have wonder why anyone would choose auto-erotic asphyxiation over Bangkok’s infamous night life. Women ( or men/ladyboy’s if that’s your thing) trump choking yourself with rope while masturbating any day.

I’m not trying to make humor out of a senseless death but there seems to be a problem here.

Falangs (foreigners) die a lot in Thailand and not by natural causes. Some overdose, some like to take small jumps off of big buildings and then there are the ones who hang themselves. Last year the Thai police were alerted to a mans head dangling off of Rama VIII bridge. At first they thought it was a murder but eventually it turned out to be a badly planned suicide…rope too long…man too fat…leaves a head on a rope and blood everywhere.

What is it about Thailand that drives falangs to their death? Certainly there are the falang that have come to the kingdom to live out their utopian dreams with just enough money to give them 5 years or so which is just about as much time to make sure they can’t go home easily and when they run out of money they pull a jumper or hang themselves.

But there are also cases of men who seem to be very happy, have money, have a good relationship and they are found hanging or jumping or overdosing. Sometimes they are murders but more often than not they are suicides.

These deaths shouldn’t be confused with  the fools that come to Thailand in search of marathon sex and pop a handful of viagra and wash it down with 10 beers, they find out soon enough just how stiff viagra can make you. Then there are the men that think it would be a great idea to rent a large motorcycle in Bangkok or Pattaya, I guess they think they look cool but all the pictures of the inevitable accidents I’ve seen suggest differently. Hard to look cool when being picked up off the pavement with a shovel and poured into a plastic bag.

Like moths to a flame Thailand draws many men each year to their death. I’m not sure about tourist statistics world wide but I would venture to guess that Thailand ranks high up on the list for tourist and expat deaths. Maybe there should be a huge warning label plastered across Suvarnabhumi Airport stating: “ Men, Thailand can be hazardous to your health“. Yes, I said men! When was the last time you read about a female tourist or expat offing herself, overdosing on sex related drugs or wrecking a sport bike in Thailand?

As a man I can attest to the strength of Thailands draw but I don’t think I’ll be offing myself anytime soon and if you’re a man that’s been to, plans to go to,  or lives in Thailand you shouldn’t either. Nothing is ever so bad that you have to kill yoursef.

No one knows the complete circumstances of David carradines death yet but his name will be added to the long list of falang that off themselves in the big mango every year.It seems paradise also has an ugly side and many a man has fallen into it’s grasp.

I usually try to stay out of trouble when in Thailand, blend in and become as Thai as possible. Unfortunately the Thai’s around me seem to sense this and do whatever they can to draw the attention of the Thai police!

This past trip I had two memorable experiences with the boys in brown that could have come straight out of a Benny Hill skit. My first experience happened on the way to Damnoen Saduak floating market. The taxi driver picked me up at the appointed time and we were making very good time due to very little traffic, that should have been the first sign.

About 40 kilometers from our destination, and as soon as I thought this was going too smooth, we came upon a Thai police checkpoint. There was no question in my mind that we wouldn’t get pulled over and of course I was right. As the taxi driver spoke to 3 police officers and handed them all of his papers I reasoned that he would be getting at least two fines. One fine for having a passenger and not using the meter and another for speeding. I was correct on both points.

Normally that would be the end of the story and we would be on our way, but this is Thailand and I was involved so it’s never that easy. No, easy would have been the taxi driver getting back in and us driving away,  the taxi driver had other plans. You see, when we pulled over we parked in the mud along the highway so when the taxi driver  took off a little too anxiously he shot mud 20 feet backwards against another drivers van who had been pulled over and over two very pissed off policemen. After another 15 minutes of brow beating by the police, an old man peddling by recounting what he saw and a few more fines we were back on our way.

The second incident happened on the last day of Songkran when we were heading back to Mukdahan from Nakhon Phanome after the sun had gone down. Naturally we came upon another police checkpoint but surely this would be a no brainer as my girl was driving, no one was drinking and the stars were aligned…Wrong!

The first inkling I had that this would be a problem is when my girl said “uh-oh”. The last time I heard her say that was two days earlier when we were approaching a police checkpoint in That Phanome, little brother was driving and he apparently no longer has a license due to a drinking and driving arrest. We averted the law that time with a very quick turn off to a side street and a change of drivers.  This time the uh-oh was because my girls license expired the day before…uh-oh!

After much animated talking between the police officer and my girl a compromise was reached and the police officer walked away. A few moments later the officer returned with a very drunk old man and more animated talking ensued to which the old Thai man just nodded and burped.  The next thing I knew the old man was in the back of the truck and we were back on our way.

Confused? I was too, especially when I heard the explanation. Apparently on the last day of Songkran many police checkpoints were rewarding good drivers by handing out free iced drinks and this was one of those checkpoints. Of course while rewarding the drivers with a nice cool drink they are checking to see if they have the proper papers and also to see if they had been drinking.

Being the good Thai that my girl is she immediately confessed to having an expired license before the police officer even asked for it. Not that it mattered because the police officer didn’t care and wouldn’t have cared if she was wanted for armed robbery, because he had a problem of his own. You see, the old man the police officer pawned off on us had apparently walked into his checkpoint a few hours before our arrival and was pestering the hell out of the police. They couldn’t take him home because he didn’t know where he lived and he couldn’t walk. We didn’t get a free drink…we got a free drunk!

Problem solved…for the police officer anyway. We spent the next two hours trying to find the old mans home. The next day I made sure someone got her license renewed.

As seen posted on the front wall of the Dynasty Inn Hotel in Bangkok.  Signs like this always make me chuckle. Any other travel destination in the world you might see signs like ” no shoes, no shirt, no service” or ” no smoking”. It’s always nice to know the hotel’s stand on pachyderms! More hotels around the world should weigh in on the subject because you never know when you might have the urge to feed an elephant.

Although the sign looks funny there is a very real problem of Thai’s walking around Bangkok with their elephants hawking them to the tourists by selling them food to feed to the elephants. It’s very sad to see the elphants in the big city like that when they belong in their natural habitat.

If you find yourself in Bangkok try to resist the urge and maybe these elephants will find their way back to where they belong when the owners realize they aren’t making money anymore. I know, wishful thinking…but if more people understand the problem maybe things will change one day.