Ron "Texas Gardy" Gardenhire vs Slim Jim Leyland

The most difficult job in baseball doesn’t belong to a pitcher or catcher.  It belongs to the team manger.  A manager has numerous factors and strategies that he has to consider each and every game, and that is in addition to dealing with the personalities on his bench and in the bullpen. Texas Holdem poker players are very similar to managers in the types of situations that they have to deal with every time they sit down to the poker tables.  Let’s look at a few of those common similarities.

A poker player is very similar to a manager in baseball in that he has to analyze not only his own play, but also the play of the players at the table.  He has to be able to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of his opponents, but unlike a manager in baseball, a poker player has to do this on the fly and many times without the help of any advance scouting information.

Even if a poker player has information on his opponent, he has to watch for tendencies in the other players.  In baseball, a manager can easily recognize when a player is playing exceptionally well or above his typical skill set.  Adversely, they can also see when their players are not playing well.  Poker players have to watch out for this as well and adjust their play the same way that managers do.

Also, baseball and poker are very situational.  If your opponent has runners on second and third and a left handed batter comes to the plate, you might adjust the outfield or even put in a reliever that has done well against this batter.  Poker players have to make on the fly adjustments based on what they know of the other players and how they are playing.  Does this player have a tendency to fold when pressure is applied on the turn?  Do they bet too often on the flop?  You have to analyze each situation and adjust.

Sites that feature online poker games often talk about the mental game of poker.  The mental aspect of poker is easily the element that often separates winning players and losing players.  The same is true for baseball.  Think about the best managers in the game and they will all have a genius level IQ when it comes to the game.  The big difference is that when a baseball manager put together a winner, he is immortalized while the poker player just moves on to the next game.

Today 1500ESPN’s Phil Mackey ruffled a few feathers with his column “Like it or not, scaling back payroll is right move for Twins”.  He laid out some valid points as to why the Twins should be cutting the payroll, the main point being the Twins have to wait and see how Mauer and Morneau bounce back before putting more money into the team that can’t contend without them.  I suggest you go read his column if you haven’t already, Phil’s one of the best Twins guys in town and he’s got some good nuggets in the column.

My take on the payroll.

I get Phil’s point as it’s a valid, logical argument but at the same time, the fan in me isn’t too stoked about it.  I accept it but that doesn’t meant I have to like it. The Twins still haven’t addressed the pitching staff, which if they did have a healthy Mauer and Morneau, would be the downfall of this team. Marquis doesn’t count (hope he proves me wrong).  No offense to him but he’s another pitch-to-contact type pitcher that the Twins already have too many of because they’re pitch-to-contact hoarders.  I’m not a fan of the wait-and-see approach with Mauer and Morneau’s health. Why not be proactive instead of reactive?  I’m sure there are some FA’s the Twins could sign that help them beyond this season.

Anyways, that’s just my thoughts on the payroll discussion. Stuff I’ve been trying to tweet but butchered with the 140 character limit.  I like the moves the Twins have made thus far with Willingham, Doumit, and Carroll.  To be fair to the front office, if the Twins are healthy and legit contenders, who’s to say they don’t go and trade for a decent arm during the season?

The new Twins TV deal and reason I was writing this before wandered off into payroll land.

In the aforementioned column, Mackey  reported that the Twins have a new contract with FOX Sports North worth approximately $29M annually.  I don’t know anything about television markets but when I saw the amount, I was surprised at how low the number was.  Although the Twins payroll may not be consistent with a small market team, the TV contract certainly screams small market, especially when it’s compared with the Angels deal with FOX Sports which is reported to be around $150M annually.

Want to know where all the money goes?  The good folks at TTBB Analytics are here to help. Remember the saying “don’t spend it all in one place”?  Yeah……

Opulence, Joe has it.

Obviously I have no idea where the Twins spread the $29M, it just doesn’t sound right, 80% of your TV deal is going to one player.  Imagine if an Angel’s player made 80% of their annual TV revenue, wow.

Closing thoughts.

After trying to crawl out of the shadow of a small market team, the Twins may be going back into the shadow due to cable changing the revenue game. There’s no way the Twins’ TV deals will ever be as high as teams like the Angels and that puts them at a financial disadvantage.  A disadvantage that the team has no control over, unlike attendance.  If the Twins are ever going to win again, it’s going to be done the Twins Way 2.0—having a higher payroll thanks to the new ballpark but still pinching pennies and finding cheap free agents on Craigslist.  Why? Because That’s Twins Baseball.

UPDATE (The impact on payroll part)

Thanks to @Ray_Cowan for tweeting me a link with information on the Twins’ previous TV deal.  Remember how I thought the $29M deal sounded low?  Well back in 2004 (after the Victory Sports One kerfuffle), the Twins signed an 8 year deal with FSN for…$12 million.  That’s not $12M annually that’s $12M over 8 years or $1.5M annually.  This year the Twins will see a $27.5M increase in TV revenue alone!

Wait a minute.

So let’s get this straight…the Twins are making $27.5M more a year in TV revenue and cutting payroll by roughly $15M in the third year of a beautiful, revenue spewing ballpark? I now have no problem with fans thinking about their pitchforks and torches.  It feels like you can do better than Jason Marquis and no bullpen help when you’re sitting on added revenue, and money that was already cut from payroll.

If the numbers above are correct, I’m pissed if I’m a season ticket holder or hell, any Twins fan.  Then again the Twins could be saving the money for 2013 when they know for sure if Mauer is back and Morneau can be productive again.  If Mauer and/or Morneau aren’t back to where they should be, then they tap the war chest and go sign some top shelf free agents….right?  I crack myself up.

If I’m wrong about the previous TV contract, feel free to call me an idiot.  I think it’s right.

Update Jan 6th, 1pm.

Heard on Reusse and Mackey that the Twins deal actually started last season and the previous deal was $12M per year for 8 years, not $12M total over 8 years.  If anyone can confirm or deny, it would be much appreciated.  Don’t want to use false information.

Update Jan 12th, 3pm.

I wanted to get the facts right so I emailed Phil Mackey to get confirmation on the details of the previous tv contract.  Was it really 8 years for total of $12M (which now seems absurd) or was it 8 years at $12M/yr?  He replied via tweet

@bennyc50 Forgot to reply to your email last week. Sounds like old deal was worth maybe 1/4 of what new deal is.

Hopefully that clears up some of the confusion. Thanks to Phil for the info.

I tried to pair up Twins players with LOTR characters based on physical characteristics or the roles they played in the film.  I was hoping to make quite a few of these but unfortunately my free trial of Photoshop ran out so I won’t be making anymore.  Anyways, here are some of the dumbest (coolest?) things I’ve made for TTBB.  I wish I could say I was dropping acid while making these, they’re just that dumb.

Gardy-Gimli

Jamey Carrolrond

Rick Legolas of the Bullpen Realm.

Terry Ryandolf the White. He was Gray but was sent back to help save the Twins.

Samwise Cappsy (h/t @jtsanderson)

Legodrewboolas of the Catcher Realm

Plouffagorn

Maueragorn: The Return of the Swing.

Sorry, I had to.

From last week but figured it belonged here.

I wonder if Plouffe the Magic Dragon wrote that top tweet.

The fine folks at the TTBB Art Department have put together a couple illustrations of what Plouffe, as Aragorn, riding Shadowfax, may look like…

Can I get your Shadowfax number?

It's beautiful artwork really. A Plouffcaso.

Well it’s good to know that some athletes share the same geeky traits as some of their fans. I hope this offseason shows us the meaning of haste.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play Dungeons and Dragons and see if I can find Lew Ford online somewhere.

Update: Another LOTR inspired post from last season when things were looking up for a couple weeks: Joe Mauer: Return of the Swing.

Brought to by Sanford Health...

I have needs

You'll throw his arm out, kid.

It's just a simple request.

Sorry, had to.

Ohhhhhhh Scrapppp

That's....what I thought you said.

Schwartz!

Now we know why Cuzi missed it.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Stocking Stuffer

Creepy Ryan Claus

I don't want to

To be continued….

This sums up the season

1. [TTBB Exclusive] Getting to know meteorologist Kate Bilo (from 2010 season but lots of search hits from her being in Philly now)

2. Strange Billboards Start Popping Up In AL Central Cities

3. TTBB Investigates: The Blonde Babes Behind Home Plate

4. The Target Field Trail: Game Predicted Twins Horrible Season

5. Mijares Calls Out Mauer, Mauer Responds With Steel Chair

6. TTBB To Release New Book: ‘Gardyball’  (From 2010 season but caught on this year)

7. Bert Rips Yawning Kevin Slowey During Broadcast

8. JJ Hardy Will Haunt

9. Tom Kelly Shows Robert Incmikoski The Diamond Cutter

10. Jim Thome and the 600 Taters

My favorite that didn’t make the list: Joe Mauer Russian Rehab Video (to the theme of Rocky IV)

Oh and of course this one: Bruce Chen Facts

The Target Field Weather page actually had the most views but I left it out of the “post” category.  That page will be going away next season as I integrate my newest waste of time http://bleacherweather.com into the mix here.  Check it out if you’re bored.

Thanks again to everybody who have stopped by and hope everyone has a great offseason.

Kneel to Chen

If your favorite baseball team plays in the AL Central, then you already know who Bruce Chen is.  If not, I thought I would help spread the legend of Bruce Chen so that future generations may know of his greatness.

1. Bruce Chen doesn’t sleep, he waits.
2. Bruce Chen made Ozzie Guillen leave the AL Central.
3. Bruce Chen doesn’t chew tobacco, he chews on glass.
4. Bruce Chen killed Bin Laden and Gaddafi with his fastball.
5. Bruce Chen doesn’t believe in the periodic table of elements, he only believes in the element of surprise.
6. Bruce Chen’s dog walks him.
7. Bruce Chen is paid in gum.
8. The Chicago White Sox and Minnesota Twins have retired Bruce Chen’s number.
9. Bruce Chen was raised by chupacabra.
10. General Zod kneels to Bruce Chen.
11. The character Anton Sugar from “No Country For Old Men” was a toned down version of Bruce Chen.
12. Bruce Chen has more wins than Coach K.
13. Bruce Chen occupies everyone’s street.
14. Bruce Chen doesn’t care for Facebook’s “like” button.
15. Bruce Chen once made Michael Cuddyer swing at his fastball twice in one pitch.
16. Bruce Chen drives slow in the left lane because he can.
17. Bruce Chen splashes the pot whenever he wants.
18. Bruce Chen dug the Panama Canal by himself.
19. When the Worlds Most Interesting Man watches baseball, he watches Bruce Chen.
20. Meg Ryan was thinking of Bruce Chen during the deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally”.
21. Bruce Chen has never faked anything.
22. In the movie “Roadhouse”, the character of Dalton was loosely based on Chen’s presence in postgame bar fights.
23. Bruce Chen wonders why the Twins would sign Jamey Carroll.
24. Phil Jackson practices “Chen Buddhism”.
25. Bruce Chen made McDonalds bring the McRib back.
26. Bruce Chen was going to be traded to the Red Sox last September but he does not eat fried chicken.
27. Buffalo Wild Wings delivers to Bruce Chen.
28. Bruce Chen told Clint Eastwood to get off his lawn.
29. Bruce Chen canceled NBC’s “Community”.
30. Bruce Chen can toss a football over them mountains.
31. Whoever wrote the song “Only the good die young” must have had Bruce Chen in their kindergarten class.
32. Up up, down down, left right, left right, b a, b a, select, start is not the Konami code but the movement on Bruce Chen’s pitches.
33. Bruce Chen never dies on the Oregon Trail.
34. Bruce Chen once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
35. If you ever party rock Bruce Chen, he will kill you.
36. Bruce Chen pisses excellence.
37. Bruce Chen is the father of January Jones’ new child.
38. Kim Kardashian’s divorce was a result of her cheating on her husband with Bruce Chen.
39. Peyton Manning’s neck injury is a result of a Bruce Chen roundhouse kick.
40. Bank of America pays Bruce Chen $3 every time he uses his check card.
41. King Kong ain’t got shit on Bruce Chen.
42. Bruce Chen’s tears can cure bilateral leg weakness.  It’s too bad he has never cried.
43. The act of killing a person who is planking, is now known as “Chenning”.
44. Bruce Chen’s fastball is so slow that you can run your home run trot before you hit the home run.
45. Bruce Chen was drafted straight out of the womb.
46. Bruce Chen knows what the Rock is cooking.
47. Bruce Chen is the only man Joe West will not eject from a game.
48. Clubber Lang’s got his “Hey woman” pickup line from watching Bruce Chen work his magic at a bar.
49. In the movie Dumb and Dumber, Lloyd Christmas doesn’t put out the vibe at the bar, he puts out the Chen.
50. Bruce Chen is the architect of the Matrix.
51. Bruce Chen knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried because he buried him.
52. The only walk Bruce Chen has given up was when he let Jesus walk on water first.  Chen followed immediately after.
53. Bruce Chen doesn’t believe in WAR, he only believes in War.
54. The highest selling Denver Bronco jersey is Bruce Chen’s.
55. Every morning Bruce Chen waterboards himself instead of showering.
56. Mike wants to be like Bruce Chen.
57. The earthquake felt throughout the southern plains last week was due to Bruce Chen body slamming someone who party rocked him.
58. Bruce Chen is the reason the oldest person on the planet seems to always die.
59. Nobody speaks of Bruce Chen’s name at Hogwarts.
60. Bruce Chen is sent in to clear out “Occupy” protesters.
61. Bruce Chen lives in a van down by the river, because he wants to.
62. Bruce Chen knows more about foreign policy than Herman Cain.
63. Houston Astros are moving to the American League to give Bruce Chen more competition.
64. When Tim Tebow “Tebows”, he is actually thanking Bruce Chen.
65. If Bruce Chen were a Twin, he would mathematically eliminate Minnesota Nice.
66. Legends and Leaders was inspired by Bruce Chen.
67. Bruce Chen is Han Solo’s father.
68. Bruce Chen’s version of Happy Feet is him kicking field goals with penguins.
69. Bruce Chen shot JR.
70. Ron Gardenhire wishes he had Bruce Chen but the liability insurance would cost the team too much.
71. Bruce Chen hates Rascal Flatts.
72. Jagger has moves like Bruce Chen.
73. Bruce Chen doesn’t believe in Gardyball.
74. Bruce Chen is the 3.14%.
75. Adele wrote all of her songs about Bruce Chen.

I’m sure I will think of more later.  Have any yourself? Leave them in the comment section below.

Enter Terry Ryan…again.

Help us Terry Ryan, you're our only hope.

The brilliance of Mauering is in its simplicity. You’re probably doing it right now. Just sit down. That’s it. Maybe you’re not feeling very good, or maybe you feel fine. It doesn’t really matter, just sit down. Also, try to look stoic and maybe even a little disinterested. See, you’re Mauering like a pro!

I recommend reading the rest of the article.  You can check it out here.

As one who loves this idea of Mauering, I couldn’t help but make my own Mauering picture.  This picture is one of Joe Mauer Mauering Tim Tebow after a sack in last weeks football game.  Not very good sportsmanship by our Savior.

Joe is smiling because he gets paid while Mauering

Once again, great work on the Mauering concept.  If you’re not already following them, which you should be, you can follow Clarence Swampton at @CSwamptown and Randball at @Randball.

There is also a nice Mauering Gallery set up on the Dan Barreiro page at KFAN.  Check it out.