holy shitballs, this is one of the most intriguing sites i’ve come across in a long time. true to its name, eclecticErotica has a hugely diverse collection of erotica and themed erotica. so there are sections (of varying size) that focus on anything from art to anal, animals, liquids, hentai, penetration with toys, voyeurism, penetration, retro, spreads, arses, bush, no bush … the only i thought lacking was that there wasn’t enough penis and vaginal penetration pics.

i’ve tried to collect a few from the various sort of ‘categories’ that i liked to give you a good overview, but really, it’s best you go wander about when you have time. it might take a while though and i’m dead certain some of the pics will be a great conversation starter, so enjoy it with your lover and some lube on the side.

i couldn’t include all my faves in this here little overview, but you get the picture. check out more here [clickety click].

anyway. i’m off for some tantra magic this morning with rahasya, that daka i told you about. hope it’s going to be yummy. i’m in dire need of some sensuality. looking SO forward.

ciao my little fruits, may monday be juicy
dot
xx

(you. if you’re reading this, i do miss our interaction. hope you’re well. blogging is not the same as mailing or msging, so i reckon i’m still sticking to the self-imposed boundaries. kinda. mostly. :) x)

i found this postsecret interesting because it really reminds me how unkind we can be to those that are supposed to be the ones we care the most about.

i read this book called the 5 love languages a week or so back, and while i thought there was a lot of dated (and unhealthy) cheese to wade through, there was also a lot of value in the basic message, which is that each of us has our own way of expressing love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

so, basically, if your ‘love language’ is words of affirmation, you’ll say lovely things and like to hear affirming, validating things from your lover. if it’s acts of service, you’ll express your love by doing things for your partner, like making dinner or fixing broken things, and you’ll most likely understand love if it’s expressed as acts of service.

what the author believes is that in order for both partners to be happy, they have to understand each other’s love language (although it’s not like we just have one, there’s usually a predominant one or two and these are the ones we should understand).

while i certainly don’t believe it’s all that simple, i can totally get jiggy with the surface theory.

i took this test and it turns out my primary ‘languages’ are quality time and physical touch. assuming i’m in a relationship (of any level really), if i don’t feel enough of either, i pretty much go into defence mode and shut down. or attack mode and become mean and distancing.

*sigh*… so many issues.

anyway.

i went out with a guy once who was a big words and gifts kinda guy. after months of the relationship falling apart, the major break came for him when i told him he’d been acting like a cunt.

we’d never used nasty language in any of our fights and, hell, could we fight – big, shouting, electric, public verbal parries in markets, on scooters, in alleyways, shops … christ, anywhere, though made easier cos we were in taiwan and no one could understand us. i swear our neighbours thought we were the craziest waiguorens they’d ever seen/heard … it was actually quite a healthy relationship in retrospect.

so. yes. no matter how we fought, we were never rude to each other. we’d swear, but not at each other. there was no name calling.

he was a word person  and would write all the most lovely things to me and give me the most thoughtful gifts with the most wonderful letters and poems and drawings … towards the end though, there was less physical intimacy and less quality time … i stopped talking back and he stopped being there. that was the final straw(s) for me. for him, the word ‘cunt’.

do you see a big laughing clown face in this, cos i do and i need to know if this is something i need to discuss with morla

whatever your ‘language’ is though, i think most relationships could do with a little more niceness, more kindness, a little more verbal loving and gentleness.

if your mate looks shit in something, there are better ways than saying she or he looks stupid. you don’t need to be cruel to be kind, don’t you think?

what’s your love language? check it out here [clickety click] and let me know what your language is :)

and for more postsecrets [clickety click].

check you laters plums
dot
xx

Hi Dot,

My wife and I have a great sex life-no complaints there. The only issue is that lately her vjj has a funky smell and has had an impact on our foreplay. Any ideas as to what we could do?

Yours in Smell

***

Dear YiS

This one’s easy. Book an appointment with a gynae! Ta-daaaa! Look. The first rule of funky smell of the fanny is that we don’t fuck around with it (alliteration FTW). Vaginal health is a delicate balance of floras and PH, both of which are easily thrown off by bad diet, unwashed insertables, harsh soaps and bubble baths and even synthetic underwear.

Whether the off smell is a bacterial or yeast infection or how serious it is (could be nothing, could be an indication of something more hectic) i can’t say, only her doc and a likely swab can. so get her there immediately.

i suppose the real issue is telling her what your issue is. not sure if you guys have broached this, but at a totally random moment, when you’re both getting dressed or brushing your teeth or making the bed – maybe just say something like, babe, you know how i love eating you out, but the queen (pussy, flower, cunt … whatever term of endearment you use for her genitals) is not herself these days … it’s just not tasting or smelling as good as it usually does, i’m worried it might mean there’s something wrong.

and take it from there. don’t make it about her. don’t make it attacking or judgemental. make it medical. make it familiar — you love it, you always have, but there’s something not ok now and you’re worried.

chat about this when you’re both TOTALLY ALONE obvs. and where she feels comfy and safe.

this might be an interesting read, but DON’T self-diagnose by proxy. just go see a doctor. [clickety click]

good luck

If you’ve been good little plums, you’ll have been reading my blog regularly and know about Master D. If I’m going to tell you more about what we’re doing and how he and I got onto the convo about the VUP, I’m going to have to tell you how we started the game.

so you remember i met him and Ma’am Rose at the fetish party when Rose gave me my first flogging. at the next party we were hanging around and Master D asked if i wasn’t going to get whipped by someone else. i said no, that there were only two i would get flogged by — Rose and him, if I had the choice.

Later, I got a mail later with more or less this (‘more or less’ as i’ve edited it)

• You told that you would allow me to spank you, but this is not the right approach because then I would be the one who is fulfilling your wishes (the slave more or less) and I am not. So it will be my ‘game’ if you agree, and we are playing it with my rules.
• You always have the possibility to leave the game and then it is over.
• I will do as much as I can to make the game enjoyable for you. You may have to do things that are difficult, but you have to leave it up to me to decide what you have to do.
• The game will start if you agree to play it and there will be tasks I expect you to fulfill.
• The game will have one evening where we will meet. After this evening the game is over but if you are interested and if you played my game, well you might have a chance to go one step further.
• If you agree to play the game you will not play with others as long as our game is on.
• Don`t think about it too much. You will not find answers. You can only give it a try.
• If you agree you only have to send a SMS with the words “I AGREE” . My phone no is: XXXXXX.

and that’s more or less how Master D and I started. i sent him some questions in response: was sex with other people allowed (yes, just not play with another Dom), would he expect photos (no) … would i have time to perform the tasks (yes) … and could i back out of a particular task if i needed some time to think about it (yes, but)..

on 4 May i texted: ‘I agree’, and the game started…

Previous posts in the series:
1. An intro :: Master D and the VUP [clickety click]

about a month ago two very different men said almost exactly the same thing to me.

the one: ‘if we’re going to do this, you’re going to have to trust me.’ the other: ‘you’re going to have to learn to start trusting me.’

the former is Master D. the latter is the VUP. the former is a near-stranger Dominant who was suggesting a month-long play to teach me the ways of a D/s relationship; the latter, a near-stranger married man with whom i was considering entering into an affair with.

i decided to trust the former, based on gut. the latter, the VUP, i decided not to trust, based on self-preservation. (actually, this self-preservation thing is a whittled version of my reasoning. when trust is a wild card used within a game that has no rules its value becomes meaningless.)

nevertheless.

Both Master D and the VUP are  fundamentally changing the way i engage with relationships … or at least, how i engage with what believe i want from a partner/s. even now that the relationship, such as it was, with the VUP is over (in theory; in practice i still find myself twitter stalking), it’s become the base of some revealing questions being posed to me by morla and, curiously, in a bizarre twist of tasked orgasm, by Master D.

shoo…

you know, there has been so much going on that i actually don’t know where to start. as i slurred told Madame Pushkin last night, when people ask me what i feel when i bare all the details of my private life, i always think to myself: just imagine all the shit i don’t write about.

it’s been a year  so far of fine balances, of calculated risks, edges, moralities and questions of self i never actually thought i would have the courage to explore. still, i am surprised and made curious that through one small sms exchange between Master D and myself, the conversation about what i want and how i want it has found its present context with him and the VUP.

so odd.

anyway. i want to tell you about this and know some of you are not going to like what i have to say. especially when it comes to the VUP. but i don’t care. it’s my site and i’ll blog what i want to (apart from real names and blood types).

so i’ll be blogging something each day until we’re caught up.

anyway. as you see some of these pics, bare in mind…

ja. well there you go now.

seriously, oh my god woman, get a fucking life. because you’re a lifeless, incapacitated dummy totally at the mercy of ‘his version’ of foreplay, right?

you know what happens when you don’t open your mouth to your long-term partner (or anyone you plan to sleep with more than twice) about the kind of sex you want? this:

you shut your mouth instead of gently telling beau what you like, so the other person thinks they’re doing ok and then when you finally can’t take the incompatible technique anymore after a million years, you blurt out something stupid at entirely the wrong time and your partner then learns that what they’ve been doing has sucked, which means you’ve actually been faking it, which translates to lying, which makes them feel foolish and stupid, which translates to bruised egos, sad people and distrust in the bedroom.

don’t be a self-righteous dick. you don’t have to be cruel to be kindly telling someone what you like. you’re not doing anyone any favours by lying and, assuming you approach the topic with tact, if your partner doesn’t take the new info well there are more issues here than whether you like a finger up your butthole or a little psuedo-stripper roleplay.

so, postsecret lady. i’m totally judging on you.

pfft.

not creepy at all

though i’m not sure it’s entirely sexy-sexual, for example like my girl crush on christina hendricks that one time. nevertheless, i think what turned me on to em (em for short, cos we have that kind of relationship) was actually two or three scenes in the adjustment bureau with matt damon.

a kinda kak movie – fun idea but not very new, too surface and brittle in plot – the chemistry between her matt in these one or three scenes is awesome.

i liked the bathroom scene the most, but i couldn’t find an already cut-for-you-tube clip, which is a great pity because it’s really super. if matt fell in love with her there, i fell in love with their exchange and instant chemistry. well done you two. actually, just found the trailer, a small snippet of it is in the beginning…

this is another little piece that’s quite lovely…

crikey i’m actually super sappy.

Been wondering, i just started seeing a new guy now , we had sex for the first time, he is really really huge …im 24 years old and had a few well endowed partner before … but this one takes the cake… at first it felt like i was losing my virginity all over again second time round felt much better … now i was wondering do women stretch ? im just worried what if things between us dont last , will i ever enjoy sex again with a guy with a small penis? lol this may be kinda silly of me but im curious as to what your knowledge on this is?
Tunnel of Love

***

Dear ToL

The vaginal canal is one impressive muscle and, like all muscles, can be stretched, but also toned and strengthened. which is why women who’ve pushed babies out of their vaginas, can continue having happy sex with the comparatively small penis. this is true especially if they’ve kept up their pelvic floor muscle and kegel exercises. so i suggest that you keep doing your kegels and maybe invest in a smart balls (advice i’d give any woman really, because stronger muscles make for stronger orgasms) and rest your mind that your lady bits will bounce right back after mr big. in the meantime, use lots of lube and go slow, you certainly don’t want to be tearing anything with a monster cock that will leave scars long after a broken heart. i think the only thing you really need to worry about is not judging your next penis too harshly in comparison. personally, i find exceptionally large peni a bit of a bother and very troublesome blowing. so good luck there.

stroking the pussy, paddling the pink canoe, flicking the bean and my new favourite RUBBING ONE OUT! hahahahaha… thanks KO…

while you’re here, you may as well go check out ForTheGirls.com [clickety click]