For over a year now, myself and my fellow MW writers have dedicated day in and day out to be the most entertaining video game website on the planet. The Minus World was an idea originally concocted by a few drunk friends in New Jersey and ended up spiraling into a worldwide monstrosity. We did damage. But we were always too big for our own ideas and eventually, something had to give…

So in the interest of no longer keeping our loyal legion of video game comedy lovers waiting, today I’d like to make the official announcement. Regular MW contributors agent b and B Miggs were asked by the legendary GameSpy to move across the country to work in the IGN towers and help spearhead their site’s new emphasis on gaming humor. This means all of the classically deranged articles you’ve always seen from us but with none of the server crashes, tech issues, or money limitations that ever kept us from doing everything we’ve ever wanted to do with this shit. We’ll be covering trade shows, events, doing podcasts, shooting lots of video stuff and playing games months before they hit the shelves. And yeah, we’ll even be at E3 in June. It’s a huge move for us and we couldn’t be more excited about the opportunities we’ll have and the great new audiences we’ll reach.

But that doesn’t mean we’ll be leaving behind everyone who helped get us this far. I’m inviting all of you to come visit us at our new home, every day. As for The Minus World, the site will be moved over to IGN’s servers and archived forever so you’ll always be able to go back and read up on our roots, like a digital library or a dusty VHS tape of your old improv comedian friends who now have their own nationally syndicated show. We plan to carry over and continue some of our long running/recurring features to GameSpy as well, so fans of our “Activity Book” series etc. should fear not.

Thinking that such a transition will change up how we do what we do? Think again, sucka. Here’s our first few GameSpy out-the-park homers:

How To Get Famous In The Video Game Industry

Nintendo Corporate Sleepover Ends In Drunken Hazing

Main Boss Regretfully Peppers Final Stage With Dozens Of Helpful Items

5 Misconceptions Your Parents Had About Video Games

7 Videogame Magazines We Wish Existed

Thinking you’ll miss out on our other writers? Think again, uh…again, sucka. Here’s Massouken’s recent wrecking balls to the gaming industry:

Bam Kapow Reviews ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ Videogame

What Your Game Character Says About You

It’s been a fantastic and hilariously chaotic ride but we’re ready to rock the world’s stage now. I want to thank every single visitor we’ve ever had, every blogger that ever linked to us, every hater that told us to fuck off, every magazine that ever featured us, MSNBC for interviewing my drunk ass at 7am after 52 hours of no sleep, and all the friendly tech support people we screamed at in the middle of the night while our servers were on fire. Extra, extra thanks to every talented writer, artist and contributor who saw our vision and passion and offered a helping hand. It was an honor to have you on board and we look forward to hopefully working with you again someday. Lastly, shout out to all the horses and gamers (except for Call of Duty fans, you motherfuckers are insane) across the globe (except for in the country of Turkmenistan, who have STILL refused to send a single person to visit our site once).

Peace and respect to you all and don’t forget to visit us at our new home. If you have any questions, ASCII wangs or angsty diatribes to toss our way, don’t hesitate to post them up. We’ll continue to keep checking back often. I’ve never been one for hopelessly romantic goodbyes so in short, welcome to the terrordome, bitches!

- agent b

*** MEDIA ALERT***

GAMESPY.COM RE-LAUNCHES WITH NEW

VOICES, LOOK AND FEEL

Revamped Site to Focus on Entertaining Video Games-Related

Content and Commentary

WHAT: IGN Entertainment’s GameSpy.com has re-launched with a new blog-like format that will keep the most recent news and reviews at the “top of the fold.” Visitors to GameSpy.com will also find a much greater spotlight on humorous, sometimes irreverent but always unbiased content, including last week’s “And You Were Worried About Swine Flu?” and “Five Misconceptions Your Parents Had About Videogames,” written by two new editors, Brian “Agent B” Altano and Brian “Miggs” Miggels. Both will bring on the snark, focusing on making readers laugh while still delivering the hottest video game news of the day. Anthony Gallegos – creator and host of Rebel FM, one the most popular video game podcasts on iTunes – has also joined the editorial team. Since Anthony’s addition, the site’s GameSpy Debriefings podcast has leapt up the iTunes charts, and the number of subscribers to the site has grown by the day.

The revamped site’s first feature, “Seven Magazine Covers We Wish Existed,” became an instant a hit with readers, garnering front-page mention on Digg.com and driving an extensive traffic boost for the site.

WHY: As echoed in his official statement to readers, Will Tuttle, GameSpy.com’s Editorial Manager said, “The new direction of the site will offer a totally unique kind of experience – one part informative, two parts irreverent and all parts entertaining. We’ll continue to bring you the same great features and game previews you’ve come to expect from GameSpy – as well as new features like original podcasts, video features and more – all served up with a healthy dose of humor. Improving the site’s content and commentary is part of our grand plan to bring you some of the most in-depth, intelligent gaming content on the web.”

WHEN & WHERE: You can visit the new GameSpy now at www.gamespy.com.

MORE: For more information or to speak with someone from GameSpy.com or IGN Entertainment about the impact of this news, contact Kris Sharbaugh, 646.483.8446 or ksharbaugh [at] ign [dot] com.

Directed by John Hughes, this quirky office comedy involves a competitive batch of co-workers (played by Emilio Estevez, Hugh Grant, Helen Hunt and Sissy Spacek) fighting their way to the top of their corporate food chain and doing anything they can to stay out of the blue. Their big boss (Kelsey Grammer) will stop at nothing to get rid of them all, and it’s up to the gang’s wily antics to pull his card before he REALLY chews them out! Dotted with laughs and rated PG for cartoon violence, juvenile scripting and catastrophic perversion, Ghosts is the funniest movie of the year since the last time we called a movie “the funniest movie of the year” like a week or two ago. Advanced screenings have reportedly ended in mass suicide, violence, multple strangulations, barn fires, kidnappings, arsenic bakeries, a spontaneous Young MC concert and somebody accidentally masturbating to Ellen Degeneres. In theaters this summer!

(actual manual scan)

Never mind the old methods of determining your proximity to a magnetic field (being inexplicably strangled to death by your own neck jewelry, or worse, finding yourself dragged to Canada by a majestic dynamo of terrestrial force) because the new shit is all about simply checking if your Nintendo DSi is in Sleep Mode. How nonchalant the Big N is about this little phenom worries me slightly, but since I was the oldest person (by a good 20 years) at my town’s midnight DSi launch “party” I’ve probably got bigger issues to worry about.

On Saturday night, I quickly galloped towards my local gaming store to pick up the new Nintendo DSi. After unwrapping it with my teeth and wiping away at the screen with my tail, I gently placed my hoof on the touch screen and completely crushed the thing. Sadness enveloped me as I realized that video game controllers have been always very unkind to the equestrian community at large. So what can be done to rectify this?

With new Horse Controls, even the burliest of stallions will be able to game like the best of them. The buttons are big enough to accommodate your feet, horseshoes or not. Simply strap on the patented feed bag, connect the cable to your television and trample your way to victory! Your back legs power the game and your front legs control it, so you’ll even get a nice exercise to boot. Go! Go! Go!

Stop!

And go some more!

Then, please stop. Please, please stop.

Where’s Xzibit? LOL, no Minus fans I used my rudimentary photoshop skills and I put together a mock-up of what I think should be introduced at E3 this year. What better way to pick up ladies than with a horse that has been modded out to double as a gaming chair? If any of you have any photoshop knowledge I’d like to see your ideas on how a horse could be retro-fit with gamey gems. I’ll add any images to this post you would like to send me. The best entry will net you your very own Laughols The Horse statuette, autographed by me! So mail them to us or link your work in the comments section. The best horse wins a horse!

Dear Fez,

If you’re a friend of the horse you’re a friend of Laughols! We’re looking into our current finances to, at the very least, lease you a pony. That way you can ride the pony all day and your Mom will be riding the city streets in style on a fine equestrian. But honestly I feel that your Mom is a few horses short of a party. Never give up hope Fez, because hope comes from horse’s smiles.

Sincerely,

Laughols The Horse

]]> http://the-minusworld.com/2009/04/06/nag-the-horse-world-fez-bandisnatch/feed/ http://the-minusworld.com/2009/04/06/nag-the-horse-world-fez-bandisnatch/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/The-minusWorld/~3/E4Ma0vVOEkA/ http://the-minusworld.com/2009/04/06/its-me-laughols-the-horse-and-i-declare-today-to-be-horse-day/#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:27:40 +0000 Laughols The Horse http://the-minusworld.com/?p=1513

Naaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!! Those wily old Minus boys are taking the day off to drink whiskey and throw rocks at cars and they kindly asked me, Laughols The Horse to take over for them! Today is a day for the horses! All types of exciting adventure and horse-tacular arousal await! It’s a non stop saddle backed buckaroo into the world of video gaming through the eyes of a trusty steed, so hold on to your dungaroos and ride with me into the sunset! And kids get in free! So be sure to help me reach into my joke trough and pull out a laugh carrot or two!

You may have noticed that we took a less is more, negative space approach to April Fool’s Day this year (we didn’t post shit). Why? Because we make video game jokes all year so the 1st of April should be like Labor Day for us. And it was. We all had a relaxing afternoon watching the video game industry fall off a ladder and on to a rake while a 1990’s Bob Saget made audible quips and duck sound effects to the uproarious laughter of women and children everywhere. Then we returned back to the gritty task of entertaining millions and pistol whipping our server like a redheaded Natalya Simonova N64 character model. That’s how we barrel roll, bitches. Check us out next week when we interview the ghost of Bill Pullman’s character from Independence Day, find out if it’s possible to get road head in the game Out Run and dip the internet in delicious chocolate and attempt to eat it.

Fresh bags of Funyuns:

5 Video Game Songs That Would Make Perfect Porno Music
Toejam & Earl: The Movie Announced
NES Modern Classics
Resident Evil Fan Arrested For Breaking Into Museum, Vandalizing Several Exhibits
Plusses And Minuses: Wanted: Weapons Of Fate
The Top 9 Video Game OCD Moments You Know You’re Guilty Of
Yo! Noid’s Strip Club Adventure Get’s Real Bad
GDC09: GDC Ends In Gigantic Singing And Dancing Theatrical Number
CONTEST: Win Ryu’s Headband And Go Kick Some Ass
Obama Goes ‘Goo’ To Fix Ailing U.S. Infrastructure

Old chips that we kept sealed in Tupperware so they’re still pretty tasty:

2009 Predictions For The Video Game Industry
5 Alternate Left 4 Dead Covers Germany Totally Should Have Used Instead
Plusses and Minuses: The Year 2008
Chimpanzee Agrees To Be First To Try Real Life Warp Pipe
Liquid Crystal Dismay: 5 LCD Failures From Gaming’s Past

Thank you all for a great week, we had a lot of fun! And special thanks to our sponsor Ninja Blade and American Apparel!

- The Minus World Team

It’s Friday night, and you know what that means for us gamers! Not much. So what better way to spend an evening in your favorite MMORPG serenading estranged roustabouts posing as elven nymphets than with a sensual soundtrack to get them LARPing in their loins? My God, did I just type that? Here are 5 video game songs to get sensual with, and remember to always practice safe Google image searching.

#5: Killer 7 - White Sugar

Far be it from me to phone in a list comprised of embedded Youtube vids, but it’s easier than taking a midnight train to all of your bedrooms and bromantically beatboxing each of these sultry symphonies into your earlobes. White Sugar is for those candle-lit Skinemax nights where the plot makes as much sense as that jug of Carlo Rossi you just polished off and the sex is as realistic as Nintendo selling 50 million Gamecubes.

#4: Mega Man 2 - Wood Man Theme

This pulsing, dedicated and energized anthem will really get the leaves blowing. So bust out your Mega Blaster and make your own wood joke, pervert. I’m already seriously regretting writing this list.

#3: Sonic The Hedgehog 2 - Casino Night Zone

Well, what else is Sonic good for these days? Pull the crank and score big on the slots to this funked up late night jam that perfectly encapsulates a cruise down the hot neon strip. It’s like George Clinton trapped in a Genesis and loving every minute of it.

#2: Disgaea: HOD - You Go Girl

Ahhh yeeaaaah, baby. Time for some mischief. This empowering fem-ballad attacks you with everything from smoked out trumpets to slippery spaghetti western guitar riffs before erupting into inane J-Pop explosions. Sure it feels like a cacophonic crime, but it feels so damn good too.

#1: Marvel VS. Capcom 2 - Player Select Theme

Let the lyrics do all the talking and let the saxophone do the rest. Select your inner playa while bumping this bouncy song. And remember, what happens in Vega stays in Vega. So have a great weekend, Minus Worlders, and here’s to hoping each and every one of you gets lucky.