The Sweet Life

Why do Humans Hate?

2018-01-13T02:14:00.000-08:00

Hate is a strong word. Why hate, when you can love? You should be a better human. I thought you are happy in life. You are a strong person. Why do you have to be like this? Hate means you still think about them, why give them space in your life?

and the list goes on and on. My last post was a hate post, where I openly hated on people from a phase of my life. It was not the darkest phase, but yes, close enough. So why do I choose to hate rather than be a better human and forgive?

Urm..Apparently for the same reason, To be a better human. When Pandora opened the box releasing all the evils, hatred became a part of the worldly life. I hate broccoli, I hate that music or maybe something intense, like, I hate you.

I'll share an excerpt from a story here. Read on.

"She knew she couldn't cry. She couldn't show her tears to anyone. Too many questions. She felt her breathing hasten. It was getting harder to breathe. She couldn't understand how anything could affect her breathing. 'I expected this much. I swear, I did. Miracles have never happened in love for me. Why did I expect one now?', she said trying to breath deep to calm herself down. She looked into the mirror, straight into her eyes. She knew what had to be done. In a second, she could feel herself in control again. Back at her desk, she was the person everyone knew her to be, again. The rest of the day went by, with her controlling herself well enough. She was much better at it from practise. Apart from her dysfunctional tear glands that seem to betray her and her facade from time to time. But mostly, she was successful. On her way back home from work, she would usually get the bus. Tonight was especially windy. A strange weather, topped with the most beautiful moon. A beautiful stormy night. The paradoxical night made her feel sick. Everything felt wrong, from the way the leaves rustled to the way that there was no one on the streets. She didn't like the fact that the moon shone so bright. It would have been better if it was darker. As she made her way to the bus stop, she found herself struggling with the strong winds. But really, she was struggling with something else. She was trying hard to find those emotions she buried during lunch.

She felt the urgent need to cry. She felt the tinges of pain, but sadness was nowhere to be found. Instead she felt weaker. She felt lost. Waiting for her bus in the windy night, she could feel the war raging inside of her just as the winds were raging outside. 'Where did I hide the pain? Why am I not able to find it?', she thought to herself. Her eyes were flooded with tears, yet she couldn't feel the pain. It felt wrong. She felt drained. She felt betrayed. Sadness and tears, though looked down upon, are miracles to the life of humans. They let you heal, they let you feel. But from her constant exercise of suppressing those feelings, she felt like she had broken herself a bit. She remembered her conversation with a friend from a while back,".....You know when it hurts so much, that you can't breath. It hurts here in the chest like someone stabbed a knife and dragged it around. It literally feels like that. And it hurts so much that you feel you can't live with it anymore. It feels like you would die. And then when you can't bear it anymore, suddenly, it vanishes. Suddenly all your pain vanishes. But not in a good way. It's as if you turn off the switch to your emotions. But only, you not only stop feeling pain and sadness, you stop feeling everything. It feels like living in a void. It doesn't feel human. Like a machine set to work, you carry on with your life, without feeling anything.....". Just then she saw her bus coming from a distance. She knew she couldn't face other humans. She just had to deal with herself on her own. Without thinking twice, she started walking in the direction of her house, missing the last bus. The winds still raging strong, were ironically, the perfect representation of the feelings stirring inside her. The memories started flooding from a place she had chosen to forget about. It brought hatred, pure hatred raging through her blood........."

Now, one might think that the person in this story succumbed to her hatred making her less human. But actually, hatred saved her. It was the key. It saved her from losing herself. I believe that the range of emotions that humans can feel support each other. Happiness and sadness support each other. Similarly, love and hatred also support each other. You can't always be happy or always feel love. That is something that makes us so unique. The unique set of things we like and dislike. The unique set of things that bring us joy and pain. For a long time, I suppressed my feelings of pain. I suppressed my feelings of hatred.

I always sought to understand. I always sought to be happy. But it doesn't work that way. You feel all or you feel nothing. And that understanding of myself has empowered me to be a better human being. And I don't mean that in a nobel peace prize laureate way. Humans are designed to feel a myriad of emotions. Acknowledging some emotions while suppressing others doesn't work.

Although I mean to perpetuate hatred, in no way I support hate crime. Please know the difference. It's not hard to understand. It's a simple concept. I hate broccoli. But that doesn't mean I spend my eternal life destroying every piece of broccoli I find. I just stay away from it and I let the people who enjoy it enjoy it. If I hate certain music, I'll not listen to it. It doesn't mean I'll in any way abuse the person who makes that music.

If I hate you ( the people from a certain dark phase of my life, the fucker set of three roomies I had, the love I had faith in, and people I trusted as friends who ended up disrespecting our friendship just because I didn't reciprocate their feelings of love), I really hate you. My eternal goal in life would be to stay away from you. Stay away from me because If I meet you, I would eat pills of indigestion just to barf and shit all over you. I would do that without an ounce of remorse, I would.

It's funny in a way. I have a few people in my life who hate me. I know they hate me to the core (mostly because I didn't reciprocate their feelings of love). It's hardly ever any other reason. I'm a very lovable person, believe me. I could never understand why they hated me so much. Maybe because I never acknowledged the power of the emotion, that is Hatred. I always thought, 'Why do they hate when they can love?'. It was a lesson ingrained deep inside of me. '...you should not hate. You should love everything and everyone. Spread love, not hatred...'

But I'm here to tell you, you have been taught wrong. We have been taught wrong. You should hate so you can love. You should hate because it's what makes you unique. You should hate because it's what makes you more human.

Having said that, it's a simple case. If you hate broccoli, you wouldn't go about destroying the very existence of broccoli. Because there's a myriad of other things to be eaten, explored, tasted. People often say 'Don't waste your time on hate', when instead they should say, ' Don't waste your time acting on your hate'.

When you know what you hate, you can start from there to find what you love. You hating something or someone doesn't make you any less human or a weak human. If anything, it makes you more human. It forces you to accept and acknowledge those feelings, move on and find the things you really love. What does make you less of a human, is if you let the feeling of hatred sweep all over you and hurt someone in the process. But hatred is not be blamed here. It's the same with love. If you love something or someone too much and obsess about them, love can be more harmful than hatred.

I hope this lesson on hatred would help my readers in some way. It's easy to ignore the importance of hatred when you haven't felt its need. You will eventually understand what I say here, if you don't already. For all people out there who care for me, I'm just a human. A flawed one at that. And I take pride in acknowledging that for a fact. Please don't tell me to feel more of a certain emotion and less of others. It doesn't work that way. For everyone out there who hates me, urm well, I have just validated your feelings. So believe me when I say, I will stay away from your life. For all the people I personally hate, like I said in my previous post, fuck off!!! Unless you wish to be buried in barf and shit.

Peace not out.
Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1

Empath Exploding!

2018-01-02T12:43:00.002-08:00

(P.S.: Viewer discretion advised)

I’M AN EMPATH AND I HATE IT

Life of an empath is a roller coaster ride. I hate feeling what others are feeling. I hate connecting to what others are feeling. I hate not being able to discern my feelings with that of others. Some days, I feel great being a healer, being someone who is such an amazing listener, being someone people inevitably fall in love with, being someone who understands varied people and situations. But most days, I hate it. I hate it to the core. I wish I could stop feeling so much of everyone's emotions. I wish I could stop understanding people so much. I wish I could just feel my pain alone instead of a mixture of everyone’s feelings.

Today I hate each and every person I ever healed. I hate each and every person I ever understood. I feel so wronged to the point where I believe justice and Karma do not exist.

If we ever were friends and if ever you felt like I healed you, understood you, meant something very important to you. If you ever felt that I understood your words and your silence. And if because of that, if because of those precious moments, if you confessed to me your undying love. Fuck you. I hate you. If I was ever The One to you because of how nice I was to you, fuck you!!!!!!!! If you ever felt like I loved you just because we spent time together and I trusted you as a friend, fuck you. Die . Burn in the pits of hell and fucking die.

If you ever cursed me the whole night, while I tried hard to remind you of your real self while asking if you were alright and apologizing incessantly to you even though it wasn’t my fault ( you know it). Fuck me, I hate myself for being this human being who feels others pain more than I feel my own. And fuck you, fuck off.

If this seems like a hate post, it might just be. Because I’ve had enough. I’ve been bullied. My personal things searched without my permission and my personal life gossiped and laughed at by my bullies. But fuck me, when those bullies were ill, I cried for them and their pain. I ran to the store to get them medicines. I made them home medicines in the mid of the night when there was no one to tend to them. Yes fuck myself for crying. For feeling their pain. I hate myself for feeling others pain. And you fucking bitches, do you think you’re all that and more, just because you’re stubborn? I didn’t say a word. Except my tears, you didn’t see anything, because fucking that’s what I could do. Because guess what I could understand your need to bully me!! I understood how low you felt of your already tiny persona that you had to resort to such shit. You have no idea how it feels. Being an empath is constantly fighting myself from kicking your ass to inevitably understanding your ugly soul.

I lost everything important to empathy. I did. Today I lost my faith and fuck you if you’re gonna tell me oh don’t lose faith. Because I realized for some people, feelings are portable. Apply to you today, to someone else tomorrow. So fuck your principles and your tattoos. Where was I the last three years? I don’t know. Hmm let me think. Maybe the first year, I was depressed. I wanted you so bad. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I weighed 38 kg and I slept less than 2 hours every day. And I didn’t make my way to you, because fuck I thought about the guy I trusted as a friend and his feelings. Because fuck , I thought I wasn't good enough for you. Because fuck I felt everyone’s feelings but my own. All I felt was empty and hollow. Oh then what about the next year? Fuck you, who already found someone else ….And now you ask me, it has already been 3 years. Yes fuck you. It has already been three years. Fuck you and fuck her!!! The one thing I’m going to do is break her nose and her few teeth. Because fuck myself for understanding everyone’s feelings.

If you’re a hot shot. Be whoever the fuck you want to be. Why am I responsible for your feelings? Is a clear No not enough. Fuck you if you think you deserve more, just because you scored more in an exam that tests nothing more than knowledge of a few books read by millions or gave away money to people in charity. Fuck you if you think you came all the way to another country for your love. Well fucker, remember how you told me you were coming for yourself. After dealing with my personal depression, why do I need to deal with your fucking feelings as well? Well, fuck you dammit. You might be a genius angel for someone, for me you're just a fucker.

And for the biggest kind of fucker I ever met on Earth who deserves nothing less than the worst treatment of hell. I trusted you. You knew that. I trusted you, so I protected you, our friendship and your feelings. You knew how much love I had for the person in my life. Yet you had the guts to destroy all my happiness. I’ve had enough of understanding your feelings, because all I really felt was betrayed. You never even apologized for the fucking mess you made of my life. And yet me, my stupid self, felt bad for you for the longest time, even though it was me who lost the most precious thing to me in life.

This is a letter to all fuckers out there, Fuck you for thinking you’re the most important thing in the world. Fuck me for making you think that way. This is a letter to all empaths, fuck such people. Kick them out before they become the poison to your existence. You don’t have to apologize for anyone.

If any of my reader (not part of the above list) feels sympathetic for my pain, don’t. I’m an empath. I was born to take people’s shit. I was made strong enough to take the worst shit that comes in my life, but fragile enough to cry for others pain. I have cried all night, eaten next to nothing, felt nothing but pain and yet I’ve made my way to work. I’ve smiled to people who needed my smile. I’ve helped my friends and enemies alike. I’m not what you thought I was. I’m everything you never thought I was.

For all you fuckers reading this post, fuck off and never ever come back to my life. And for any fucker who thinks I might be The One, the love of their life, fuck off already. Like I said, I’ve lost FAITH in anything close to love or justice.

P.S.: Just fuck off already!!!!

Pic Courtesy: 1

逆夢 (Sakayume) : Searching for reality (Part 4: Most Beautiful Man)

2017-12-29T11:53:00.002-08:00

...Continued from Part 3...

'No, but really what were you up to? I'm always curious as to how you spend your days on Earth', Doctor quizzed Yukie.

She sighed, thinking to herself, 'There he goes again'.

'Well nothing much. I'm living an average life there. A 9 to 5 job, a few interests to keep me busy, family and some friends', she replied hoping to answer in a way that wouldn't raise more questions.

'Ohh. That sounds good. But let me ask you something please?', he continued hinting an oncoming question.

'Always a question', she thought to herself. 'Yes please, do ask', she replied resigning to the fact that there was no escaping the Doctor and his questions.

'What about love? I heard humans are really into finding a fellow human and calling it love. Are you not, in human terms, 'seeing' someone?, he asked her.

That was a hard question for her. Living in two worlds was something she could cope with, but relations, not really. In fact, most of her relations happened in a time zap where she had been zapping unintentionally. It was almost impossible for her to be in a relation due to her past traumas. As a defense, her body put her in a timed zap without her realizing it.

She would almost always feel this urge, that something wasn't going right, that she wasn't herself. She would suggest breaking off. She would always find reasons to break off. For her, it was the only way to feel like herself again. And when the relations finally ended, the timed zap would end as well. She would feel like herself again.

Unfortunately, she ended up making a few enemies and bitter exes on the way. She never understood why they hated her so much. They never understood how she could forget all those precious memories of them being together and in love.

'There is someone', she replied.

' Oh, Brilliant. Is he tall and handsome?', the Doctor probed deeper.

'He is....just himself. You know when sometimes you meet someone gorgeous and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick?

Then there's other people, and you meet them and you think, "Not bad. They're okay." And then, you get to know them and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality is written all over it. And they just, they turn into something so beautiful. Nezumi is the most beautiful man I ever met', she said with eyes that spoke volumes of the depth of her love.

'Beautiful words', the Doctor said sensing Yukie's emotions. 'So you are "seeing someone"', the Doctor added teasingly.

'No, I'm not', Yukie replied sounding dead as a wall.

'I thought you just described him', the Doctor added looking puzzled.

'I did, indeed. You see it's complicated. I was dating him when I didn't knew anything about timed zapping and this alternative world and the interface and dream walking. I didn't understand myself. I didn't understand anything I did. He didn't understand anything I did', frustration peeking her voice. She stopped for a second to cool off. The Doctor tried hard not to worsen the awkward silence.

'It was always miscommunication. I hurt him real bad and now..he is with someone else. And he is happy', she added in a lost voice.

'And are you happy?', asked the Doctor sensing the strain in Yukie's eyes to resist the tears.

She turned her face to control her emotions, took a deep breath and controlled herself, before turning back and replying with a smile.

'You know what, it doesn't matter?', she replied trying to forget the pang tugging at her heart.

'Why does it not matter? Why does his happiness matter while yours doesn't?', the Doctor asked her looking straight in her eyes.

'Because it isn't love if it's not both sided'.

'Now what does that mean?', the Doctor asked looking more puzzled than before.

'Well...Love is an emotion felt in unison by two people. It's never about one person alone. If it's just one person, then it's just infatuation or in extreme cases obsession. I don't believe that only one person can create love. Just like you need two hands to clap, you need two hearts to make and sustain love', Yukie explained with an air of wisdom in her voice.

'Hmm..Interesting!', half smiling, the Doctor replied.

'Ok, What is it? Why are you smiling now?'

'Erm..No..I just realized from your description of the person that you are obsessed about him, given that he doesn't love you anymore', the doctor said teasingly giving a devilish smile.

'No, I'm not!!! That description is from when we were in love! Both of us!!!', she shouted unknowingly.

'Hahaha..so she says', the doctor replied looking amused at Yukie's sudden burst of anger before getting busy with the Coronal Intergalactic Interface.

'No. I'm seriously not', she shouted to the back of the busy Doctor.

Hands crossed to her chest, she felt herself take a sharp breath, a thought flashing her mind, ' Maybe I am. Am I?' She gulped hard, before wondering, 'Where do I belong? Who do I belong to?'

Noone chose to be a Dream Walker. They were born this way.

(To be Continued...)

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逆夢 (Sakayume) : Searching for reality (Part 3: The First Encounter)

2017-12-28T00:56:00.000-08:00

...Continued from Part 2...

A year later...

Yukie found herself waking up to the humming sound of machines. It was hard to open her eyes to the blinding white surroundings. She noticed something move near the corner of her eye. Her brain managed to decipher the image receptors of her eyes and for once she knew it was a familiar face.

'Ahh. Wakey wakey! Someone's finally up!'

She tried to move herself up to the friendly voice of the Doctor. Her head still feeling the buzz. Like woken up from a bad hangover, she tried to settle her head by applying pressure and blinking her eyes.

'Ah! Why do all humans do this? I know your head is buzzing from the zap but squeezing your head and blinking your eyes hard wouldn't really help, you know. It's all your perception, like when you try to turn off the volume of your music in the car when you're trying to see the directions.', the rusty voice said once more.

'We're going already?', she asked looking a bit confused.

' Well, yes my dear. Unless you were doing something interesting back on Earth! Which I'm sure you weren't because you were sleeping.', he added with no ounce of sarcasm hidden.

She half smiled at him acknowledging the legitness of the comment before bringing herself from the couch cum her personal bed, these days. She had her first encounter with the Doctor when she was a teenager. For most teenagers, breakup gone wrong wouldn't mean much more than few weeks of crying and moving on. But it was different for her. It was like fuel added to her dark past. Something that she had chosen to bury long back. It ate her every night.

Add to the ordeal, her parent's pressure to get good grades! Oh, the world puts too much importance on things that are of no use at all. She knew now. The grades were nothing but a bunch of papers from her past that held no importance in the worlds she frequented now.

But she didn't know back then. Unfortunately, none of the kids know that. They just believe what they are told. Living a world that the society wants them to live. Never really learning, never really growing, never really living.

In all of this, Yukie found her respite in meditation. She would meditate for hours. It started off as an interlude that brought her peace and focus. But somewhere, the sessions became longer. She ended up in such cogitative state for days on end with no memory of what happened in between in her surrounding, like working on auto-pilot. She knew she was doing what she was supposed to do, going where she was supposed to go, but not knowing how. She always found it strange that she could never remember things. Her family and friends would scold her, get angry at her for forgetting things big and small. But she never did that on purpose.

She just had no idea of what they were talking about. Sometimes, some things they said clicked and she did recall. But on most days, she just nodded yes to avoid an awkward conversation about her memory, or the lack of it.

But it really got worse, when she unknowingly started slipping into these meditative states during her sleep. She remembered clearly, that fateful night.

She was in a room that looked very much like hers, but felt different. Her table, her wardrobe, her mirror...For a second, she lost her breath. There was no reflection. She was right there in front of the mirror! It felt like the worst nightmare.

'Maybe the mirror was faulty...maybe it's not a mirror..maybe its a drea...', before she could finish her train of thoughts, she saw herself. She finally saw herself. She was lying on the bed, just the way she remembered she fell asleep a few hours back.

'How can I see myself? It's a dream...it's a dream....it's a dream.....it has got to be a dream', she shouted inside her brain to calm herself. She looked down to her feet and forced herself to think that it was just a dream.

'I need to wake up...Everything will be fine, then...I need to wake up!', she thought to herself. She loved it when her brain worked on critical moments such as this. She clenched her fists closed and her eyes shut.

'Wake up...wake up....wake up', she tried to force herself. But just when she thought she would wake up from this dream that was nothing short of a nightmare, she felt something.

It's nothing short of a miracle, the 'Human Instincts'. It's an aid to the gift of life bestowed to humans, strongest when that gift of life is in danger. And that moment, all her instincts told her something very dangerous was right in front of her.

She opened her eyes to a monstrous dark figure standing near the windows. Just like a ghost from a movie she saw, it came inside her room without the need for a door. It looked dark, gaseous and spine chilling. She took a sharp breath and looked down at her body on the bed sandwiched between the dark figure and herself.

'This can't be right!, she thought to herself, tears welling her fear-filled eyes. She stood their frozen, not knowing what to do, with hands over her mouth. This whole situation was nothing but a math equation she didn't knew how to solve. At 18, how was she supposed to make sense of something like this?

'Well, it could be a dream. This could all be a dream. Just a nightmare. I knew I was pushing it by watching all the horror movies. I'm pretty sure it's just my brain.', her thoughts ramming each other inside her brain.She wanted to feel that it was a dream, but for some strange reason, it felt so real, painfully real.

The dark figure took a look at her and then moved towards her body lying on the bed. Out came a scythe from the dark figures body. It moved the scythe over Yukie's sleeping body and her body started to writhe in pain.

Yukie watched all this happen in utter horror. 'So this is what it looks like to watch yourself die. It's painful...It's painful...It's painful', she cried hard. The scythe moved over her body from head to her toe. As it reached her heart, she felt something. She saw every moment of her life rewind in front of her eyes. It took less than a few seconds to see the entirety of life she had led.

She stood frozen. Back in the moment, she saw the scythe move down.

'This feels too true to be a dream. This can't be...This can't be a dream. Does that mean I'm dying?' she thought to herself confused. She saw the picture of her parents and family hung on the wall of her room.

She felt herself sinking to the ground. She couldn't stand anymore. She could feel her end. And there was nothing she could do or she could think of doing.

She did what all humans are programmed to do, ask for help.

Ask and it will be given to you
Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will be opened to you
(Matthew 7:7)

(To be Continued...)

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逆夢 (Sakayume) : Searching for reality (Part 2: The Stains Within)

2017-12-21T17:24:00.002-08:00

(Fictional story series based on depression. Reader discretion advised)

...Continued from Part 1...

It was time for her last resort. Yukie took off all her clothes in a hurry and headed towards the bathroom for a hot shower. She had known from experience that it always helped. She would put on her favorite music and stand for hours under the hot shower. Her family often wondered what took her so long to take a bath. It wasn't her body she was washing, but her heart. It wasn't dirt that she was trying to get rid of, but her pain. And it took time.

It was almost a ritual. Choose the song playlist for the day, while the water heated up. On some days, it was the happy playlist, on others, the sassy, and yet on other days such as today, she needed the saddest songs to let her emotions make way out of herself. She was so good at hiding her feelings that it was almost bad for her. Her feelings and emotions ended up being bottled up inside, before bursting out as a volcano or making her very sick. She knew she had to let it out. She stepped into the shower with the speaker playing the saddest of melodies.

It didn't took her long to burst into tears and cry as if it was the last day of her life. After minutes of crying her heart out, she felt better. Not entirely, but it was better than how she started. That was enough for today's shower.

She was a roller coaster of emotions. Pure excitement and joy at one moment, darkness and sadness the other. It was hard for others to understand her. Even people she trusted the most often failed to understand her. She stopped expecting anyone to understand her after sometime. She just lived her life alone.

'If I walk alone, I wouldn't confuse anyone. If I walk alone, I wouldn't hurt anyone', she told herself. She never let anyone inside the walls that guarded her heart.

Or maybe she did. Yes, she did. She let him in. Of course, just like others he chose to walk away. It was hard for him to understand her. It was painful for him to understand her. She knew it. So she let go. Although he was all that she wanted, all that she dreamed, all that she loved. She let him go.

She knew a day would come when he would let go. But she never knew that a day when she could let him go would never come. She loved him with all her heart and her broken bits and pieces put together.

"There's no such thing as a sadness that lasts forever and there's no such thing as a love that lasts forever either.

I think there is.

Which one though, sadness or love?

A sad love"

Every night, she debated if she should beg him to be back in her life. Every night she rewinded all the memories that they shared. Every night she decided that she was too complicated to ever be able to give him happiness.Every night she cried herself to sleep with this thought of resignation.

She was great at forgetting memories that hurt. Something she picked up when she was a kid in her bid to forget the demons that haunted her. Yet she was never able to wipe him off her memories. And every night it hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt.

With the feel of metal in her mouth and a heart heavy as a rock, she lulled herself to sleep again. The only relief that by morning she will forget everything. It will be another bright day. People around her will only see her smile and hustle. She will do great until it's night again.

Days bright as the Sun, nights dark as coal. She was God's greatest irony - living and breathing.

(To be Continued...)
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逆夢 (Sakayume) : Searching for reality (Part 1: Winter that lasted forever)

2017-12-21T17:04:00.001-08:00

(Fictional story series based on depression. Reader discretion advised)

As she made her way back home. Rain pouring gently over her head, she felt queasy. She couldn't put a finger on the reason. Was it the cold rain? Or a stomach bug she caught from work? Or the hurt that had it's place in her heart?

On most days, it was hard to point the reason for her happiness, her sadness, even her existence. Looking up to the cloudy sky, she stopped for a minute to let the cold rain cover up her tears. She didn't want anyone in her apartment to know she was crying. It was always hard for her to explain to others.

Reaching the apartment door, she tried to take her keys out of her hand bag. The cold had her hands freezing. It hurt to skin her hands while taking out the keys from the hard leather bag. She didn't want to do it. She wished for the ground to eat her up, or the sky to swallow her.

'It would be so much easier to stop existing. I'm sure it would hurt less', she thought to herself for a second. Like a lightening bolt, the face of her favorite singer flashed her mind. He was the same age as her and was her inspiration. Through many of his songs, he had comforted her. On nights filled with tears, his songs had always served as a source of solace.

"Famous young singer commits suicide in his apartment. Last words, 'It has been very tough'."

She wondered if he felt better now. Her hands finally traced the apartment keys from her bag. 'No, don't think about such things. Like the counsellor said, 'One step after another, I need to keep living. I can do this. Fighting!', she convinced herself.

Over the years, her counsellor had embedded these words inside her brain. It didn't hurt any less, but counselling did help her recognize and understand herself better and also gave her the power to not think of anything extreme.

She opened the doors of her apartment to meet the familiar odor of cigarettes and Max, her roommate's dog. She hated this smell. She loved everything about this apartment and her roommate Mia, except the fact that Mia smoked inside the house. She adored Max, but it didn't help that his odor mixed with the cigarette smoke created a smell which had to be her least favorite.

Opening the door to the living room, she realized the house was empty. 'She must have gone for Christmas shopping', Yukie thought to herself. She didn't like that the feeling of being alone in the house. It seemed so much bigger when she was alone. The queasy feeling in her chest started growing again.

The mirror on the stairs that led to her room greeted her as usual. In the mornings, she found it useful to touch up her lipstick. But on most evenings and nights, she avoided the mirror.

"If you look into the mirror for long enough when alone, you could see your inner self."

She stole a glance to see how bad it was. She looked nothing like herself. Her skin was dark, her eyes had a strange sense of loss and sadness. The rain drops wouldn't have helped. Anyone who saw her at that moment could tell that she wasn't doing well. As she made her way up the stairs, she felt a strange weight take all over her body. It wasn't the bag she was holding. It was the weight of her heavy heart that she carried with her.' One step after another...One step after another...', she kept repeating to herself.

She reached her room to find her familiar haven. The one place where she could be herself with all her smiles and tears. She threw the bag to a corner and herself on to the bed. Staring at the ceiling, she hoped that lying on her bed would somehow take away the nauseous feeling. Tiredness could be the reason, after all.

It would be better if it's the stomach bug', she thought to herself when even minutes of lying on her bed didn't help. Because if it wasn't, then it was probably going to be a long night for her.

Depression can take many forms. The worst form is that of helplessness. You can almost taste metal in your mouth. As if your heart made its way from your chest to your mouth. The feeling of helplessness takes over your existence with every option of an escape shutting itself on you.

(To be Continued...)
Pic Courtesy: 2

Letters to Love: Time and Band Aids

2017-09-13T15:21:00.001-07:00

Which helps heal first? Time or Band-Aids?

I got a cut on my finger. I was told that a band aid could help in healing it. My heart was hurt by someone. I was told that time would heal my wounds. But both those statements were proven wrong! Neither did the band aid help with the cut nor time with the hurt.

I removed the band aid the next day, the cut was still there. I checked my heart in a few years time, the hurt was still fresh. I blamed both the band aid and time for not being able to help me. Every day I blamed them, every day I cried. Helpless with the pain, I couldn't see things straight. I stopped relying on them. I chose not to put my trust on them anymore. I lived with a painful heart and deep cuts.

As life would have it, I got my finger cut again. I used a band aid after a long time. I didn't want people to question my open scar, due to the nature of work I'm into (i.e life of a donut chef). I removed it the next day as always. But this time around my wound healed! I was surprised. How did this happen?

It was the same band-aid, same hand, same amount of time! I thought well and I thought hard. My eureka moment gave me more food for thought.

The only difference from previous times was that, this time I was careful with it. It wasn't exactly me but my circumstances. I was at work and a cut meant I couldn't do my job unless it healed. I had a reason to heal myself. I kept my wound away from water, I made sure the band aid didn't loosen up. So, essentially I was more careful! I played a part!

I realized I never did this before! Neither with band aids nor with time. I just expected them to heal without playing my part. We often go into the mode of passive participation in our lives. There are circumstances that we don't like but we don't do anything about them except put the blame around.

From my personal experience, I know active participation is no joke. It doesn't come easy. To find a reason to love, live and heal yourself doesn't come as easy as it sounds. But it is worth it! It is worth finding a reason! It is worth finding your inspiration to live again. It could be someone else's hand or your own. Hold it tight, find the reason, love and live again.

Don't stop. It's ok to rest for a while, but keep your heart open to the reason that would help you heal yourself. Play your part. It's every bit worth it. Your healed scars and a once-again-joyful heart are worth it!

xx
Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1, 2, 3

Letters to Love: Ego or Let Go?

2017-09-03T15:51:00.002-07:00

Would you choose to keep your ego or let it go?

So the other day, I was watching a movie with three female protagonists. All three with completely different temperaments. The first one was the "innocent" type, the second was the "practical yet very flexible" kind and lastly the third was "stubborn, fierce and independent" type. As the story progressed, all three were subjected to similar situations and all three dealt with them in their own ways.

The best part about the story line was that the three were best friends and thus there were scenes where they criticized and debated on all three approaches. The overall feeling from those discussions and the way the story moved forward was that there really isn't a right or wrong way to deal with situations, everyone has their own way.

Now this is something that I feel is very true. Based on our own life's circumstances; our temperament, behavior and attitude towards life is shaped. What I have learnt from my life is that you can't really blame anyone for behaving a certain way. You either shape up or ship out, as they say!

A person who is afraid of relations might have faced influencing conditions repetitively to be conditioned into such a person. Similarly, a person who is very forgiving or trusting might have their own reasons. No amount of calling them stupid or trying to get your sense into them is going to change them. This understanding of human nature can provide us with great insights and relieve us of a great deal of frustration that we feel when dealing with people in general!

As I continued to watch the movie, my brain kept wanting to bracket myself into a particular type (from the three protagonist types) so that I could justify in some way what I was to myself. It is not new for humans to try and do that. We do it all the time by trying to find co-relations through zodiac sign readings, Myers-Briggs Test etc to justify ourselves!

I still remember the time I read an article about introverts for the first time. It was a moment of re-discovery for me! I was so relieved to know that what I was, what I have been, is justified, is normal! So the fact that I hate small talk is scientifically proved! How cool is that? The next time anyone tries to make small talk with me, this is all I need! I just need to tell them how I'm an introvert and so it makes sense that I hate small talk. Wow!! Talk about making life so much more easier! So I guess, unconsciously, I tried doing that again as I watched the movie with the three protagonists.

Now I definitely couldn't relate my self to the "innocent" type! Don't get me wrong, not that I'm not! I just feel that to be the "innocent" type in today's day and age (*I can't comment on how it was in the yesteryears*), you have to be dishonest with others and most importantly, yourself! You constantly deny yourself of things or pleasures or whatever to conform to the rules of innocence defined by the society. Now I honestly don't have any problem lying to anyone! But I hate lying to myself. And to that, I have made a huge fool out of myself more than a dozen times, but it was worth it!

Moving on to the next types, I could actually relate myself to the other two protagonists better. The 'practical yet flexible' enjoyed her life as she wanted to, was honest to herself, all fine and dandy except the part where she sacrifices herself and her ego for the one she loves! She was cheated on by her partner twice and yet they found a way to get back together! It just really felt like, "What????", "How???", "Why??".

I could see myself in the last protagonist much more clearly! Stubborn and independent along with a bit of fierce here and there. Ofcourse you can't uncouple loneliness from independence. It's just how it works, but it's the price you pay!

But then I realized I was actually a mix of all three, depending upon the situation! Noone, including myself, could put a label on me! I once told a series of my life's failures to a person I thought of as a friend. He was quick to judge me as a fail! Another time, when I related the poor decisions I had made with the relations I've had with people, someone was quick to judge me as a bi**ch! Now what surprised me most about these situations and judgments was that I already knew that these people thought of me very highly before I told them these stories! Talk about flipping!

So the question for this post is, "How do you decide if you are right or wrong"? A lot of people may feel that the second protagonist was closest to the real deal. But for me, the third protagonist made more sense! I always tend to keep my ego instead of letting it go!

For a situation I faced years ago, I still remember how I had the chance to choose between my ego and letting it go. I chose to keep my ego, kept all the pain in the back stand, dusted myself off the ground and went to work the next day with a smile on my face. Looking back, I seriously wonder How it would have been if I could let it go? Would anything be any different? This dilemma reminds me of my last post when I talked about the two roads and the choice you make!

Thinking back, I feel that it really wouldn't have made much difference. I strongly believe that things that are meant to be will be. People who are meant to stay in your life will stay. I'm not talking about passive living. One should always work hard for one's dreams. But I guess there are just some combinations that are not meant to be!

Instead of fighting the circumstances, I prefer to live like a cool person. A person who works hard for what she wants but is unfazed by the failures. Taking every failure as a beautiful lesson to move forward with much more vigor. Ofcourse a lot of people who believe in flexible living and happy endings won't agree with me, but like I said, "..you can't blame someone for behaving a certain way..."

Have you ever judged a person? Or have you been judged by a person? Were they right or wrong? What did you feel like when you knew they weren't right about you? Even if they were right, did you feel good about being put inside a bracket?

With lots to think about, catch you in the next post.
xx
Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1, 2, 3, 4

Letters to Love: Love or Mere Responsibility

2017-08-30T16:35:00.002-07:00

When does love turn into mere obligation and responsibility?

The feeling of love often begins with butterflies in the stomach and an excitement that knows no bounds. It makes us lose sleep and it feels like the whole world is our oyster! Love gives off a lot of energy when it starts. But later, as time passes, it feels the opposite way. All the strength and courage evaporates in thin air.

The city that saw the start of our love also witnessed its end. Every memory made, every place visited together became a feeling of burden. Something that weighed down on me with every breath. It's weird when I think about it now. Sometimes I feel like it was love, sometimes I doubt it.

If it was really love, it should have lasted! Isn't that what we have always been taught? That true love lasts! That it's not the end unless it's a happy end? So, if it doesn't last, is it not love?

But they also say, love hurts! That reminded me of my favorite song - " Love hurts...but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive". Definitely, one of the better songs written by mankind. Although I'm not sure about feeling alive! It really felt like I'd die. It really felt like I was dying every day! It really felt like '..without love, I won't survive...'.

Why would I want something that hurts so much? Isn't it human instinct to throw away or get rid of something that harms you or causes pain to you? We do that all the time! Eat bad food and you will puke it away. You get something in your eyes, it tears to get rid of whatever it was. The tendency to keep away from danger and pain is quite instinctual to human nature.

So, if someone doesn't keep away from pain, isn't it a psychological condition? Masochism? Ok, maybe that does sound a bit extreme, but it is a probability in the world of psychology.

I feel it is only right for a person to step out of such a relation. But how do you decide that love is no more?

When the feeling to protect someone feels like a responsibility/obligation than a pure instinct!

It feels unfortunate to be someone who saw the transition take place. The person I thought would protect me instinctively turned out to be someone who did so only because of his feeling of responsibility! Did I ask to be saved at the first place? I don't remember doing that! Yet you make me feel like a burden? Speechlessness was a feeling I felt for a long time! It was a mixed feeling of speechlessness and betrayal!

When a person feels like you are their family, when they feel obligated to you, when they feel responsible for you, it should be a good thing, isn't it so? But it wasn't the case! It was different. No amount of laughing or crying over it changed it.

Anything old wears out. Anything old gets rotten. Over time, everything changes. That goes for people as well. My love was a mess. And I didn't want to be part of the mess anymore.

In that single moment, all past memories came in flying, like a movie, playing in the blanks of my mind. It was time for me to decide!

"Two roads diverged...Sorry I couldn't travel both...I doubted if I should ever come back...I took the road....And that has made all the difference."

I wish it made any difference, like Robert Frost claims!It sure didn't change anything for me! After all this time, if I were to be sent back in time to that crossroad, would it be any different?

The answer is clear! NO! I would still choose a painful goodbye to a relationship where I was a mere burden.

I still remember the night I let him in my heart. I still remember seeing all the pain that lay ahead if I chose him, as if being told by my future self not to go ahead. I still remember the tears in his eyes that asked me to stay. After all this time, if I were to be sent back to that night, would it be any different?

The answer is clear! NO! I would still choose him. The words of confession would slip away like I have known him from long back, like I have known him forever!

What would you do if you were at the crossroads of time? Would you have the courage to accept love? Would you have the courage to let it go when you need to?

xx
Ruhie

(*Fictional Work*)
Pic Courtesy: 1, 2, 3

Letters to Love: What Happens After The Last Chapter?

2017-08-23T15:08:00.001-07:00

Hola cupcakes,

So we have all read story books and novels. Some have a happy ending, while others leave us with bad taste in mouth. Today I would like to draw an analogy between real-life endings and not-so-real life endings.

In most stories, there is someone who gains while someone who loses. A hero and a villain. However, I feel like in life, we often switch positions. A person who is good in one story may turn out to be a villain in another. Different phases, different experiences of life bring forth different roles for us. Somehow, today I feel like a villain (*please excuse gender for ease*).

But then comes the question, who is a villain? A bad person? A person who brings pain to someone else? A person who suffers from the evils of hatred, envy and so on? A person who is hated? Actually, I'm not sure. Then on what grounds do I have that feeling?

Have you noticed that in fairy tales, the villain always loses? They lose everything that is dear to them no matter how hard they try to claim it. As if being struck by Karma!

Well, a similar feeling. I feel like I have lost the most precious thing to me, even though I tried so hard not to lose it. I fought, I reasoned, I fought again, but in vain. It is something about losing that makes us feel inferior.

So what did I lose?

I have lost the most meaningful thing in my life. I have lost some of my most cherished friendships. The worst part of it being that I lost them to another equally significant emotion, of Love. But somehow I don't regret losing love as much as I regret losing friendship. It might be because I have never really believed in love, never in my life.

Love is revered as the most precious choice. I choose to love you. I choose to not love you. The reasons of love maybe known or unknown to a person. But those words have the power to wreak havoc. My dilemma is the strong interconnection between love, friendship and trust.

It starts with friendship. Friendship forms the basis for trust to grow, which becomes the heavenly breeding spot for love. But if love comes, then it never leaves empty-handed. It takes both trust and friendship away, and all one is left with, is a feeling of blankness. A feeling of loss. The loss of, not one but three significant feelings, can leave a person feeling empty inside. It is harder to deal with than one can imagine.

So how does one deal with it? In a healthy manner? Without hurting anyone? I tried to save friendship but by the time I reached, only the ashes of a burning friendship remained. An empty room that only had memories of the dead.

One can't live in the house of the dead. One can't live of ashes. So what does one do with a blank canvas that is sullied beyond repair? Burn it?

Maybe that is why I feel like a villain today. After the last chapter has ended. After everyone got their share of happy endings, I stay in the shadows with the empty canvases sullied with memories of the past.

On this cold night, after the last chapter, I stay back. I stay back with all the sullied canvases. I stay back with a wild fire tonight. After the last chapter has ended, after the curtains have been closed. I stay back to burn all memories, to burn all the pain.

May the warmth of this dreadful night paint a better morning tomorrow. Hoping for a better story where I won't be the one to burn the canvases after the last chapter.

xx
Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1, 2, 3

Letters to Love: Try

2017-07-25T11:15:00.004-07:00

As days pass by,

joy and pain collide.

Like clouds passing on a blue sky,

you witness the smiles & the tears you cried.

Even if it's a bit hard,

I wish you would try.

You may be scarred,

but it isn't time for you to say goodbye.

Create strength if there is none.

Inspire hope to fly.

Even if you fail, after all has been said and done.

Fight on..With all your might, I wish you would try

Light your darkness with love

Work hard to rise above

Even if it's a bit hard

I wish you would try

You maybe scarred,

but it isn't time for you to say goodbye...

-Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1

Letters to Love: Memories

2017-07-23T13:24:00.001-07:00

As I was preparing to wash my dishes after breakfast today, I realized that I didn't want to! Not because I was lazy, but because I didn't want to remove the traces of a beautiful and happy moment. But thanks to technology, I guess I can save that memory without having to keep the dishes gross and dirty!

Even if this picture does not hold meaning to anyone else, it will always do for me! It is evidence to my happiness. It is evidence that I wasn't alone. I could have just ignored it. But something in me told me not to!

Living life as we do, we often come across different moments. Some make us very happy, some very sad. But often instead of whole-heartedly embracing them, we shut ourselves up.

I feared happiness because I was scared that it might not last. I ignored my pain because I knew it won't last. Like waves, I couldn't stop them from coming. But I chose to not surf any.

We end up living like that, ignoring our own heart & feelings. There is a poem I read somewhere:

When the wind blows, let it come, stay & leave.
When a feeling of longing comes, let it come, stay & leave.
Pain will come.
It will stay & live.
It will live & leave. - Anonymous

It is true. Everything will pass away at some point. But not embracing it; be it happiness, pain or even love won't help.

When you are happy, embrace the thought that you are happy. Let it out. Don't hide that smile, or that big laugh .When you are sad, embrace that you are in pain. Cry as much as you want. Comfort yourself.

No one's life is perfect. Our circumstances, memories & feelings make us unique. In this world, where everyone is so unique and yet tied up by the same set of emotions, I wish we could stay true to our feelings. I wish whoever reads this blog post finds the strength to embrace their feelings & memories, just like I did today.

Keep Smiling

Ruhie

Choco Chip and Apple Tart

2017-07-16T16:21:00.001-07:00

Dreamy eyes as I watch you smile

Didn't realize all this while

How sweet you taste to my heart

Like a choco dip and an apple tart

Give me sunshine everyday

I'll love you in every way

We'll take the love and care

And everything we'll share

My heart's gonna overflow

with the silly love and the stupid glow

of your love that lights my heart

I feel silly falling in love

Feels like there's nothing below neither above

Damn I hate this sinking feeling

No medicines and no damn healing

But whenever then I see you smile

I forget all the pain in a while

And with dreamy eyes as I watch you smile

I realize that why all this while

You tasted so sweet to my heart

Like a choco chip and an apple tart

- Ruhie

Please don't ask the motivation behind this poem!!I was eating Cadbury Silk and earlier I ate Crunchy Chocolate Pastry and also I've been eating chocolates I got from my sister from Mumbai which look like rocks but are actually chocolates!! So too much sweetness!!And definitely silliness!!

Take Care My Lovelies!!

Loads of Love

Ruhie

Find your Inspiration!!

2017-07-16T10:47:00.001-07:00

Hello cupcakes,

How have you been? It's been a long while. Life had thrown so many ups and downs that somewhere I lost the inspiration to write. A bit sad, isn't it? One of my friend keeps saying the same thing. That he has a lot on his mind, a lot that he would like to do, but somehow he can't seem to find the inspiration. He has no idea, how much I can relate to him.

I had so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to share! But I just couldn't find the words. I was even scared of my own words! But my dear friends, who are going through a similar situation! I have a secret I would like to share with you....

It takes only a moment to find back your inspiration, your imagination and your words. Just a single moment! So don't give up and keep looking for that moment! :)

I wish all my readers find their moment of inspiration if they have lost it somewhere..hehe...It is closer than you think.

Loads of Love

Ruhie

Pic Courtesy: 1

Dublin Pride!

2016-06-25T17:21:00.003-07:00

Hola Lovelies,

Today I had the opportunity to be a part of an amazing celebration in Dublin. It was the celebration of love! The 'Dublin Pride'! Now, my home country isn't really open to the LGBT community and so ofcourse this celebration in itself was one of its first kind for me. I have nothing but compliments for the celebration, the people who organized it and the amazing crowd who showed their full support.

So, what is Dublin Pride?

The Dublin LGBTQ Festival is the largest LGBTQ pride festival held annually in the month of June in Ireland. The vent has grown from a one-day celebration in 1974 to a ten day festival celebrating LGBT culture in Ireland.

Today's parade started from Dublin's oldest gay bars The George and ended at the Pride Village at Merrion Square. The parade was just fantastic! The energy was flowing in the air. The parade walked to the tunes of latest pop songs while the crowd cheered them on. I thought it was the most fun parade and celebration ever! So much positivity! This is exactly what the world needs! Positivity, acceptance, love and happiness!

It has been pouring for last two days in Dublin, and even though it was cloudy all day long, I guess the clouds just couldn't help but cheer up watching the rainbow crowd of thousands!

The Pride Village at Merrion Square was equally amazing. The place was literally bursting with people in rainbow colors. There was a stage set up with events like speeches, dance and music performances happening right outside the park. Inside the park, people were just chilling, enjoying the cool weather, clicking pictures, making human pyramids, eating burgers and ice-creams and just enjoying the day.

I took this picture while entering the park. Super crowded! Super exciting! Perfect festival mode!

The rainbow shades ruled every object in the park, from people to objects to unicorns!

Anyone hungry after the walk? Ofcourse everyone was hungry. The queue for the donuts and burger was just endless.

The human pyramid! This reminded me of 'Dahi-Handi' festival in India. It was the same, except there was no handi to be broken! It was a successful attempt.

The crowd inside Merrion Square was quite chilled out. It was fun doing crowd watch Catch the pictures below!

I loved the pet dogs in the crowd! They were super cute!!

The beautiful crowd in Merrion Square.

There were Rainbow Angels as well! Just in case, if you wanted to make a wish on a rainbow! Just Kidding! But really cool ensembles!

The Kid's Area was the cutest place! The kids were so adorable. They are born adorable. But then they head out to a park, where they do all kinds of cute stuff. They fall, they smile and laugh like crazy. They keep trying to get to the ride before the other kid! We had a nice time just watching them do their thing!

The stage outside the park was hosting events all day long. There were speeches, dance performances, musical performances and some other ones as well that we missed.

Another angel, just in case!

People in Rainbow! I loved their hair color!

Hope you liked the pictures. Spread the love. Stop the bullying!

Loads of Love

Ruhie

Rainbow was on us!

2016-06-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

Yeh fitoor mera

laya mujhko he tere kareeb

Yeh fitoor mera

rehmat teri

Yeh fitoor mera

maine badla he mera naseeb

Yeh fitoor mera

chahat teri...

Hello Cupcakes,

It's not a bright day outside as I write this post, but I hope there is warmth in the hearts of my readers. The words above are from one of my favorite song from the movie 'Fitoor'. It has a beautiful meaning. You can know more about it here.

Today I'm posting pictures from a really beautiful place in Ireland. It goes by the name, 'Ballybunion Beach'. It is a coastal town in County Kerry. Possibly, one of the most beautiful beaches in the whole of Ireland! See the pictures to believe it yourself. I took tons of pictures and it was a serious challenge to pick a selected few for this blog post. The struggle was real!

Doesn't this scene remind you of a tragically sweet love story. Sitting on this old bench, do they confess their love or do they bid their goodbye? What would happen in the love story in your mind?

Ireland has these beautiful dandelions everywhere. I feel I'm going to capture dandelions on every beach I visit. Fragile, yet beautiful. Waiting for a strong wind to blow them away. With the wind, they carry all the wishes with them. So, don't forget to make a wish next time you see a dandelion.

Apart from walking on the beach you can take a long circuit walk along the cliff. The views are gorgeous! It was slightly rainy the day we went. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or bad. We were cold, but the whole scenery became so much more pleasing.

The scene of the clouds from the cliff was right out from a movie! Don't they remind you of candy floss? What if we could take some out and eat? Wait! Would it be blue or white candy floss? I'm not sure. I would take either.

The beach is safe for both bathing and surfing enthusiasts. The beach is divided into two parts, with the beach to the left side of the castle called the "Men's Beach and right one called "Women's Beach". But, don't worry you don't have to follow the name as a rule.

The panoramic views from the cliff will take you to another world. The blue of the water merges effortlessly in to the blue of the sky.

And as if they combination of blue water, blue sky, green grass and white sand wasn't enough, there were these angelic pink flowers all over the cliff. I find it so hard to describe that place. It was so beautiful! It's when I visit places like these, that I feel I'm so bad with words.

The walk along the cliff also has a blowhole, famously known as 'The Nine Daughter's Hole'. This blowhole is a natural formation. According to local legend, the nine daughters of a local chieftain fell in love with the nine invading Vikings, and planned to elope and get married. The chieftain threw his daughters and the Vikings into the hole and they drowned. Talk about tragic!

I just wanted to jump into the water. The water was so alluring. But I wouldn't dare because it was super cold!

Interestingly, the rock in the picture above is called 'The Virgin Rock'. The sea has carved out three caves, which have met in the center causing the whole center to collapse. It is an island held-up on three legs.

That is how I like my feet! Red tipped, messed with sand and overlooking the sea! I would prefer a beach life any day. The sound of the water, the strong wind that sways you from within, the smell of sea that refreshes you, the texture of sand that soothes your soul and the cold sea water that calms you down. Who wouldn't prefer that?

They have a bench that overlooks the sea. Sitting here, you can see the sunset. I call this place Peace! I call this place Love. Hold hands, play fallafel, make jokes, meditate, feel the wind play with your hair, write a beautiful poem and just be yourself. It brings a smile to my face even when I think about it. I thank my angel for this day.

I'm not sure if you can see the rainbow in this picture. It is between the two arrows and it goes around where we lived. It was a perfect view. The rainbow was the right end to our trip.

Don't forget to include Ballybunion Beach in your Ireland itinerary if you love beaches.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures

Loads of Love

Ruhie

Walk by the Canal

2016-06-11T07:56:00.002-07:00

"She wandered in the world with her beauty abound

No one could see her eternal wound

She could be healed

The spell could be broken;

if only it was love

She could break free and rise above

So she waited and wandered night and day

But fate had its cruel way

Unbeknownst to her, he was around

But was lost in the arms of another love, never to be found." - Ruhie

Hello Cupcakes,

Hope you are doing well! So morning walks are super peaceful! Don't you think so? I guess, there is a huge divide among morning and evening people. I have always loved early mornings. As much as I love sleeping in till late, I love taking long morning walks. I think I have my Dad to thank for that, because he made sure we went for our morning walks with him! Everything is so beautiful early in the morning. It's like everything is re-born. Then we have the birds chirping, the cool breeze to soothe our souls and the peace before the crazy city wakes up.

Dublin has many places where you can go for a good early morning walk. One such place is the Rathmines area. There is a beautiful pathway along the canal where you can jog or stroll. Although it's beautiful throughout the day, I feel it's most beautiful in the morning.

The pathways is lined up with trees which makes it even more serene. It's like walking in a path created by nature. But of course it's man-made. This picture was taken in the Winter, so the trees are bare. But now it's more beautiful because the trees are laden with leaves and beautiful flowers of different colors. But even without it, I don't feel the scene is any less!

The reflections or the fishes in the water of the canal, you can gaze at either. Maybe with your friend or even alone. You don't necessarily need company in such places, but it's good to have some.

The walk by the canal has a beautiful point somewhere near Rathmines near the Atlas School, where they have many swans and spots where you could just sit, relax and meditate. The swans are so graceful. They always remind me of my favorite ballet, "The Swan Lake". The tragic life of a girl stuck in the body of a Swan, only to be freed by the touch of true love. The story is sad, but the ballet is so mesmerizing.

I find the canal,one of the best spots in Dublin for writers. It's the perfect spot to take your pen and diary, soak in nature's beauty and write your heart out. If you don't have anything else to do, you can always count the trees. I counted till 1586! Just Kidding! But you probably know that anyways.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures.

Loads of Love

Ruhie

Dublin Port River Fest June'16

2016-06-07T17:13:00.001-07:00

Hello Cupcakes,

It has been a beautiful few weeks in Dublin. The summer is so calm and serene. After being huddled up in layers of clothes for 3-4 months, I finally find myself not looking for my winter wear! That in itself is such an amazing feat for me! I never thought I could do that in Ireland!

Every place is green and beautiful! I remember when all these trees were bare and now they are full of pretty flowers! The breeze is 'just-the-right-amount-of-cold'. The Sun is bright, shiny, even harsh sometimes! But I'm never the one to complain about that.

The Grand Canal Dock is picturesque with its clean port and beautifully blue water. It is the perfect spot to go jogging everyday. I wonder how I missed it all these days! I always knew that Grand Canal Dock was a cool place, but never really got to come here, before this festival.

I so wanted to do this! There were a bunch of kids who wore diving suits and were jumping into the water. It looked so appealing! I'm definitely going to try this! It looks a bit scary, because the height of the jump is around 6 feet or so, but I'm sure the feeling is worth it.

Restaurant boats were docked for people to enjoy a drink or bite and get the feeling of being on a vessel. These were really cool to be on. Grab a drink, take a seat on the boat and just chill out in the Sun. Perfect way to do weekend.

The band performed Beatles tribute for the audience to enjoy. We were looking forward for the DJ competition but that wasn't until late for our disappointment. But the band did a great job entertaining everyone.

This trampoline thingy was the cutest attraction primarily because of the kids that were on it. Super cute!!They had a good bunch of rides for kids and many stalls as well, which were primarily aimed at attracting kids and thus families. We did feel a bit lost and out of place at times.

All the elements needed for a River Fest: Ships, Pirates, Rides, Games, Circus Artists, Music, Food, Drinks and the Sun. It was enjoyable and unique. It's always better to be at places like this when it is good weather rather than be stuck at home! I prefer this any day!

The Squad!

Life is a game. What do you think about that? Some play it fair, some play it unfair. Some make it far, some make it half-way. We are all chasing that invisible finish line in our heads. Surprisingly, we never reach it. With every milestone achieved, the finish line seems to go one step ahead of us. "When do you think will you be happy?". We have different answers. But if we take a step back and think about it, isn't just living not enough a reason to make us smile and be happy? The chase for the finish line is never-ending. I'll be happy once I crack the entrance exam. I'll be happy when I complete my graduation. I'll be happy when I find a job. Doesn't it always elude us? Take a step back. For just a minute, stop thinking of life as a race, instead take it as a beautiful journey. Take time to appreciate every little joy you encounter while moving towards the finish line. If we do that, I feel we can all live without having any regrets. We won't have to look back from the finish line. We will be able to accept our past, present and future with a smile and a warm heart.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. Don't forget to leave a comment.
Loads of Love
Ruhie

Guest post by Tata Nano GenX : GenX Rides with GenX

2015-05-08T15:00:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone!!!!

I am Tata Nano GenX.

Today I write a guest post for The Sweet Life.

Sounds interesting, eh? ;) Why not? Read on to know more about the fun filled adventurous Sunday!

So lets begin!

The day started with me waiting for the bloggers to come to Pune from various parts of Mumbai and Pune as well.

The venue was an exquisite location.

TATA LakeHouse Pune

Check out the pictures!

Now I don't like waiting around much.So it was a relief to me when the road trip started; the flag off took place.

It was show time.It was my time!

The route was pretty simple and the roads of Pune were a charm.

During the trip we were bombarded with various challenges by the twitteratti!

Challenge 1: Drink coffee in Nano GenX.

My Take: Hah! This would have been a tough one, had it not been for my Creep function and AMT jazz!

Easy Shift Automated Manual Transmission is something that all girls fall for! I definitely heard Ruhie fall head over heels for it!It's all about the joy of riding the car, no stress on putting the clutch and changing the gear for every speed you drive!Just pull into AMT mode and you are good to go!

Creep function helps in easy driving during bumper to bumper traffic.It is by default and all you need to do is take your leg off the brake. No more awkward car shutdowns during traffic signals with honking cars at your back!

So imagine this!A kitten crosses your path, you pull a sudden brake!Let the kitten pass, while drinking your coffee. Pull your leg off the brake and accelerate, all while drinking your coffee.!No need to mess around with the gears!

Sweet, ain't it? ;)

Challenge 2: Find something the color of Nano GenX

My take: I have many brothers; all of different colors.But me,oh well, I'm what you'd see if you were right on time for a beautiful sunset or the color of a fine aged wine or the blossom from gulmohur that reddens your sky every day to your delight.Well I'm that and more!

Challenge 3 & 4: Flash mob and head banging video

My take: Replete with a powerful inbuilt Amphistream music system along with Radio, CD Player, USB & Aux-In, Bluetooth connectivity for phone and music streaming with the power of four powerful speakers! The bloggers were set to roll to their favorite music.

Challenge 5: The Circuit!
My Take: Now this was the most fun and interesting of them all!!

The track was really tricky with crazy turns and angles!But with ePAS (electric power assisted steering) the track was a piece of cake!

With a 4 meter turning radius and electrically powered steering, quick turns and U turns are on your fingertips!

Challenge 6: Make adjectives to describe Nano GenX with the letters from the gear panel.

My Take:

I'm sexy and I know it ;)

Other than these amazing challenges, there was a great breakfast session at the Tata LakeHouse, lunch at Mezzo 9,Pune and evening snacks once we came back to the Tata LakeHouse again! These humans need to learn a word or two about mileage from me ;) *21.9kmpl * That's how I roll!

Last but never the least was the amazing performance by Varun Venkit followed by the most relaxing Pjembe session (*words of Ruhie*). Varun Venkit, the very talented Psychologist, Drum Circle Facilitator, Drummer, Healer, Biker and so much more!

All in one, just like my jazz (*Easy Shift Automatic Mode, One Click Sports Mode, Manual Mode*) All in One! ;)

It was a great day with even better company!

Check out the pictures.

An amazing event, the bloggers have Indiblogger team and the team of Tata Motors to thank!

Hope you enjoyed the post!
Wish you a safe and happy journey through this maze of life!
Don't forget!Just Easy Shift!! ;)

Signing Off!
Tata Nano Genx.

My First Road Trip for 2015!!!

2015-05-01T11:40:00.002-07:00

Hola My Lovelies,

Guess who is on the Indiblogger Page!!!!

Me!!!!!!!

Yayy I love it when people put my picture first!I'm so happy. This is a beautiful moment. I think I might cry!Ok, so history!

A few days back, Indiblogger came up with a road trip and if you lived near Mumbai or Pune, you could apply for it without any pre-requisites.I applied for it, obviously! Who would miss an opportunity for a road trip that too, when you are guaranteed the company of amazing fellow bloggers!

Guess what? I got selected.Yet cherry on the cake was definitely the fact that I'm first on the list, at least on the webpage *evil laugh*.

So I'd request you better follow the GenX on their road trip unless you wanna miss all the fun!Find my twitter handle here.

Although I'm a little rusty with my driving lessons, I hope they'll let me drive the car. I just hope they don't ask me to park it. :P #guiltyofbeingabadcarparker

Anyways I hope to have an amazing time. It's been so long I met some interesting people.

The funny part of this situation is that I have been wanting to go to Pune from the last 2 years, but some how or the other it never worked out! But guess God had already planned it really well. This was worth the wait! :D

I will be sharing more posts on this Road Trip. Most of the fun will be on twitter though! So don't forget to follow me on Twitter. It's gonna be awesome!

Thank you Indiblogger!

Loads of Love

Ruhie Kumar

Together!

2015-04-13T11:06:00.004-07:00

"Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked. It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you" - cahayawawa

Living alone in the fast paced life of Mumbai, if there is something that I have realized and started to acknowledge, it is the importance of Family and Home!

Life these days has become a series of realizations!

Like when we are young we don't realize the beauty of a home and a family to return to!It is only when we go out to make a life of our own in a strange city among strangers that the need strikes us hard!Two years into living alone and house hopping from one rented flat to another, one set of room mates to another, the urge for permanency has only increased manifold!

Likewise its funny to realize that you took for granted the days when you could run back to your Mom for a slight cut or bruise.I spent the crux of my life with my family, so when it was really time for me to live separately because of my job, I never thought it would be so tough!

I had always considered my self to be a toughie!But when I actually faced the real world I realized that I was a huge softie! It was revelatory to find that the strength I thought of my own was actually the strength of parents, my family and my friends who constantly supported me!

There were days when it was pretty hard for me to even bring myself to wake up to face the harsh reality of life!One such day was my birthday, it was last year that I spent my first birthday without my family or friends!It was a sad affair. I couldn't stop the tears flowing through my eyes no matter how hard I tried! Memories from the past made me nostalgic all day long!I wasn't alone;as a matter of fact I was partying, but my heart ached for the company of my loved ones! Cutting the cake, partying hard..none of it was the same without them near me!

But this year it was different!I got the best birthday gift! My mom and my best friend came to visit me on my birthday!I remember waking up feeling so blessed!It was just last week, 9th of April to be precise!It was a hot summer day, people who live in Mumbai could tell you that! We decided not to go out in the scorching heat! Honestly speaking,Essel World, Imagica and all other outdoorsy places lost their charm under the unbearable heat!So it was decided that we would have lunch at home and maybe go out in the evening!

I remember just sitting on the dining table during lunch, my Mom at one side and my bestie on the other passing food around the table. I felt ecstatic! That very moment, that very lunch was the most precious gift! I'm thankful to God for that moment!I remember holding back my tears, though unlike last year these were tears of joy!

Although now everyone is back to their daily lives, miles apart from each other! Everytime I look towards the dining table in my moments of solitude, I will remember the simple yet precious moments of love and togetherness we spent that day!

And with that I came across the biggest realization of my life!It is these fleeting moments of Togetherness that become your biggest source of strength! It's the warmth of these moments that light and guide your way no matter where you go!

Relish these moments while they last! Hold on to them and cherish them! The power of Being #together!

The trio after the lovely lunch; all set for a movie!

Hope you enjoyed the post!If you are one of my kind; alone and house hopping around India looking for great places to rent or to buy, you will definitely find use in the latest house hunting website www.housing.com

Keep Smiling!!

Loads of Love

Ruhie Kumar

Pic Courtesy: 1

Press Release: Rolling Stone India March Cover Shoot

2015-03-30T13:09:00.003-07:00

Women in the Indian music scene: Behind the scenes pictures form the cover shoot of our March issue, which marks the seventh anniversary of Rolling Stone India.

At the shoot for our seventh anniversary issue to celebrate some of the best female artists in the Indian alternative music scene. Monica Dogra of Mumbai electro rock band Shaa'ir+Func, Tipriti Kharbangar of Shillong blues band Soulmate, Mumbai-based vocalists Anushka Manchanda and Vasuda Sharma on the cover.

The Sunny Affair: Top Favorite Sunglasses!

2015-03-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

Hola my cutie pies!

Hope you are doing great and enjoying the approaching summer! Ooh yes! It's only March and its hot as an oven here in Mumbai! Though I'm not the one to complain! Yet the harsh Sun does take its toll right from 10 in the morning to 5 in the evening. I can't even imagine going out without my shades in this super hot weather! Maybe I don't wanna imagine ;) What can I say! I love my shades!!

So today I'm going to share my top favorite shades. Take some hint and buy them all ;) As they say, there is one for every occasion! Enjoy the list!

Wayfarers

Introduced in the 1956 by Ray-Ban, they were the revolutionary break that cut past through the metal eyeglasses of the past. I love the way they transform any look into something so much more laid back. You could wear it with your torn jeans and tee or with a classy white dress. The wayfarer effect will permeate through any outfit to make it look cool and laid-back.I like to wear it when I'm out with my friends just chilling!

Mirror Sunglasses

If you are planning to head out anywhere near the beach you need to have these babies! I have had two amazing beach trips and my mirror shades have never betrayed me. All you need is the Sun, the sand , the water and your mirror sunglasses and rest assured the camera will love you;no matter what you do!!

Round Sunglasses

Bohemian!!! Yes sir ;)

These are the latest addition to my shades collection! I can't thank myself enough for investing in these hotties! They are awesome-ness redefined!!!The best part is that the camera loves it!!Every picture I take with these babies is a dream come true, which reminds me I have so not been sharing more pics! I will! I Promise!!

Over-sized Oval Shades

I don't know about you all, but my Mom and all her sisters used to have these really awesome oval sunglasses! Pretty huge, and there is at least one pic of me and all my cousins with those biggies!! :D They looked so cute on us!Would totally hide our faces and yet make us look so chic ;) Those were the days!

Nothing's changed though!Except the size of our faces! :D Love these biggies for everyday use! They are amazing for protecting the eyes from dust and pollution!

Aviators!!

Last, but never the least, The Aviators!!They don't need any introduction!They shout out "Classy" loud enough for the world to hear! Aptly glamorized by the handsome Army men, these shades can never ever go out of style, come which era it be!

That was my list of top favorite summer shades!Hope you enjoyed the list!

So this Summer, just slather on your sunscreen and enjoy the Summer like it's nobody's business!!

And yes, don't forget your favorite pair of elite sunglasses!Eyes,eyes cool baby!!!

Loads of Love

Ruhie Kumar

The pictures used in this post DO NOT belong to me. They have been taken from Google Images for informational and graphical purposes. If you find your licensed work posted here, kindly refer to the blog Disclaimer.

Voguish dresses for Valentine's Day gifting!

2015-03-03T10:42:00.000-08:00

Hola Lovelies!!!

A very very sweet and amazing Valentine's to all my lovely munchkins! God Bless you all with loads of love and happiness. So I just came out from the late night show of "ROY", the much awaited movie. Now I'm not half as sure about the movie as I am about Jacqueline's dresses!!!!*Me Drools*

Talk about the perfect Valentine Day Fashion Inspiration!! Now its easy for girls to choose a dress, but if you are one of the lucky guys to have the love of your life by your side but not the gift of your life, then you could definitely use this post for some help! And please don't ask me why you need to buy her a dress!! Girls are born pretty, then somewhere someone invented dresses and **it just got real!

You need to watch Dhoom 3 and well, the various Hollywood movies where the guy leaves the dress on the girl's bed and asks her to meet for dinner!!Awww it is so romantic!!In simple words, it shows that you care.She will love you for this. So go ahead and make her feel like a Princess!

1) Never Blue

Nothing better than a gorgeous blue dress to drive away her blues!Remind her how she is like the beautiful sky, that ought to bring up that sunshine smile on her face!

2) White Rose

A Splendid White Dress coupled with your love to lighten her days.

3) Floral Love

Try a floral dress to go with those Valentine's Day bouquet you buy for her!

4) Ravishing Red

Yes!!!With the right Red Dress you can melt away her heart in an instant! Nothing can make a woman feel more beautiful than a gorgeous Red Dress!!! So what are you waiting for?? Express your love and make her feel like the Queen of your heart.

Happy Valentine's!!

Loads of Love

Ruhie Kumar

Pic Courtesy : 1, 2, 3

5 Fantastic Picks from American Swan

2014-11-29T09:29:00.001-08:00

Hola Lovelies

Hope you all are doing great!

I have become a huge fan of Sonam Kapoor and her sense of style these days! I mean talk about killer office looks in her movie "Bevkoofiyaan" . The funky looks in "Khoobsurat"! Awesome-ness re-defined! So taking inspiration from her, I decided to revamp my wardrobe! But then I remembered that I was a lazy bummer and walking from store to store in search of that amazing dress just ain't convenient! So what do you do, if you got money in your hands, clothes on your mind and your faithful internet connection! Woot woot, you shop online!!! Just when I thought I needed a change from the usual online stores I buy my clothes from, there came American Swan!! With wowzer deals and amazing sales, they have me hooked to their website. So just for my lovely honey bunnies, I decided to pick five amazing pieces that you can shop from American Swan!

AMERICAN SWAN - THE BRAND

American Swan is an International online Fashion & Lifestyle brand that combines Urban American Lifestyle with a quintessential Youth-oriented Fashion: its Spirit, Energy and Authenticity. The brand offers an invigorating twist to the genre of preppy fashion, offering an authentic casual wear range to the youth who seek occasion-led collections.

American Swan offers a distinctive collection of Men’s and Women’s apparel, accessories & footwear at the convenience of a click, on the brand’s e-commerce portal. The styling is distinctly modern and voguish, with an emphasis on design, quality, innovation and affordability.

American Swan in the recent times has bagged awards in 5 diverse categories at the prestigious Asia Retail Congress 2014 being declared the ‘Retail launch site of the year'. The fashion brand has also been adjudged as the emerging E-Retailer of the Year at the recently held India Retail Congress Award 2014.

The Fantastic Five Picks

1) Red Trench Coat

Talk about love at first sight!This red trench coat is such a killer. Now you know how to raise the temperature on a cold winter night ;)

2) Gray Blazer

Talk about must-haves!!!There is no dearth for outfit inspirations especially when it comes to gray jackets! They are so classy and sophisticated.

3) Navy Blue Pullover

I just so love the textured pattern given in the pullover. You have got to try this outfit inspiration. It is so chic and classy. I love it when winter wear gets so interesting!

4) Maroon Trousers

I fell in love with maroon trousers the moment I saw Taylor Swift wear it with that black top! But turns out it is so versatile that you can even pair it right to make it an amazing office outfit!

5) Gray Sweatshirt

Laze out your Sunday with this cool sweatshirt. Keeps you warm and cozy too!!! :)

Hope you like the fantastic five picks! For more amazing fashion trends and tips, don't forget to visit their fashion blog The Swan Confession.

American Swan has a wide range of fashionable clothes, footwear and accessories for men and women as well as home and personal care. They even have a special section for sales and discounts! They have a variety of options in both casual and office wear stuff.They provide credit card, debit card, net banking as well as cash on delivery. With a 14 day exchange policy they are definitely making it a sweet treat! Hope you enjoyed the post!

Keep Shopping!

Ruhie

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7