The 49th Pensieve

The Elegance of Analogy

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:26:00 +0000

I am a huge fan of a little blog called Blank is like Blank. The guy who writes it come up with some seriously hilarious and elegant "metaphors to live by." My only issue is that they are not published nearly enough. They are so good and there hasn't been a new one since January. But then agian I'm not the most consistent blogger so what am I saying. Anyway here is one of the ones I am particularly fond of but please go check out the site because they are all pretty great.

Shopping at Ikea is like returning to therapy:
It feels like the right thing to to do, but then you get there and realize you aren’t adequately emotionally prepared.

[Blank is like Blank]

How Do You Like it Now?

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:20:00 +0000

In the pursuit of scientific inquiry, many times we forget about the feelings of those involved. I mean I'm not an animal rights kind of person at all but I could imagine being pretty pissed if I were a rat. This pic combines lol cats and science, who would have though that were ever possible. Good things there. But it does kinda make you think ... why didnt Schrodinger just get in the box. Come on man, sacrifice for science. The mythbusters do it.

[ICHCB]

I Want to Phat' Dip

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:13:00 +0000

Despite the possible innuendo in the title, there is a craze sweeping the nation. Actually its not a craze at all and it is sweeping nothing but the crowds of avid YouTube followers. But its got Tay Zonday and a perfect impersonation of Obama. And its pretty catchy to boot. So check it out. Try the head nod. Its a good head nod song.

[DYH]

I'm a Youtube Star

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 02:50:00 +0000

Not really but one of my friends had a little project recently in which she had to film a chase seen. I was asked to be the superhero that swooped in and saved the day. Naturally, since I am pretty super naturally, I accepted and thus ended up on Youtube. So check it out, fantastic work by the editor, I just had fun running around for two hours on a Saturday. And dont worry I am suggesting new music as we speak. I'm thinking driving with the top down from iron man ... that should do the trick.

Bedtime ... Movie?

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:49:00 +0000

We all know that Hollywood has run out of ideas. Case and point, Wargames 2, Mummy 3, and Lion King 1.5. But inadvertently in their desperate search for ideas, they happen to stumble upon some good ones. Go figure. Two of my favorite childhood bedtime stories are being made into movies and both look pretty freaking good. Of courese when you start with something that good, the end result is bound to be pretty ballin. And while there is a purist part of me that says these storys cannot be done justice on the big screen, I cannot wait to see them.

The fist was always a favorite. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Looks like they have added a bit more front story to it and kicked it to 3D. The story looks good, not sure yet how I feel about the 3D. But seeing a pancake flatten a school on the big screen is going to be amazing.

The second is probably the best piece of childrens literature ever written and had captured the hearts of like a bazillion people. (sorry that sentence was getting too cheesy) So excited not only to see Wild Things up on the big screen but to see them in live-action. That is awesome.

They Just Keep Printing ... Crap

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:09:00 +0000

So I am always on the lookout for absurd headlines and actually I have a ridiculous amount of them stored up so here are a bunch of headlines, bylines and commentary. In a world where news would rather be entertainment, this really isn't very hard but hey, at least its entertaining.

Anti-Kidnapping Expert From U.S. Kidnapped in Mexico

A well-known U.S. anti-kidnapping expert has fallen victim to Mexico's wave of abductions as unidentified assailants snatched him from a street in the northern city of Saltillo, one of his employers said. [Link]

Sometimes irony is just so sweet you can forget that there was kidnapping involved.

Mom Accused of Selling Newborns for Cosmetic Surgery
A mother in the Belgian tourist haven of Ghent has been accused by her estranged husband of selling her newborn twin boys for more than $13,000 to pay for cosmetic surgery. [Link]

That sounds like an even trade to me. Yet another reminder that humanity is not going down the drain, it did that a long long time ago.

Actor Portraying Suicide Slits Own Throat in Prop Mix-Up
An actor portraying a suicide bid in an Austrian play accidentally slashed his own throat on-stage following a prop mix-up. [Link]

I feel like this is something I would make sure to check before the show. And yet another reason why actors are not to be trusted. (sorry that was an actor-techie joke)

Teen Auctions Virginity to Pay for School, Meet Husband
A teenager is selling her virginity online to pay her college tuition — but she has a long way to go before reaching her target of $73,000. [Link]

Remember what I just said about humanity, just change that to going to hell in a hand basket. And go figure the girl was Romanian, typical. Oh and dont be deceived she was hoping to meet a husband, not she actually did meet her husband. I would pick a better strategy next time.

Police Machine Gun Sent to Grandma in Postal Mix-Up
A grandmother in Britain has told of her terror at opening a parcel she had been expecting - only to find she had been sent a police machine gun. [Link]

Okay first of all, coolest thing ever. Secondly, since when do policemen send their machine guns through the mail? Wait a second, since when did policemen use machine guns? Dont break the law in Brittain, automatic fire is what you will get.

This has been a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Hell in a Hand Basket I Tell You

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 05:25:00 +0000

If you needed any further proof that the world was going to hell in a hand basket look no further. Yes this is a post about Twilight and I know I'm overreacting and whatnot. Someone very smart proved to me that they are not the end of humanity just bad literature that appeals to teenage girls. So while I am not a fan of Twilight I am not going to go burn it. But something was brought to my attention that I find slightly unnerving. I mean take a look and pass judgment for yourself. Course they could have meant to do this ... I have seen someone skip church to read it. Creepy. Twilight is not equal to words to live by.

[Totally Looks Like]

Adios Reality

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 00:17:00 +0000

Celebrities can do whatever they want. I dont in any way follow the lives of any of them even though I'm sure watching their pathetic struggle to get a mocha frapachino is entertaining. Granted if I had that kind of power I would defiantly use it. But more for like getting to be the dead guy in and episode of CSI like Swift did. Anyway, saw this clip of Will Ferell crashing some live TV. Insane, there arnt many people who can just walk into a live TV brodcast and have no one stop them. I would have been tazed on live TV is what would have happend. So take a gander.

Pretty ridiculous no? I am impressed to say the least. Impressed might not be the right word but Mark Twain is not around so we can stick with lightning bug for the time being. But of course you cant watch this and not be reminded of good old Brad Paisley. Now there is a stand up celebrity. I wonder what he has to say about all this big shot nonsense ... oh wait, he wrote a song about it. And the video is halarious. I should do a blog on his videos but in the mean time watch this one. Its how music videos should be made. (No embedding allowed, sorry kids, check it out here)

[TBT]

Anarchy in the UK

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:58:00 +0000

For those of you who are not crazy like me and remember most lines from most movies, the title of this post actually refers to a line from V for Vendetta. If you havent seen it, you should becuase its a great movie and actually ties into this post rather well. Alrighty then, if you havent heard, Google street view went live in the UK recently and caused a slight uproar. Despite faces and licensplates being blurred and whatnot, everyone was mad that people could be seen doing such things as peeing in public. Anyway the outcry was so loud that it resulted in many of the images being removed. I hope you see the ironey hear but just incase you dont, I think this comic makes it rather apparent.

I mean seriously the UK is the most watched country in the world ... its kinda sick. Even ehe crossing ladys are wired these days. If you are interested in all of this nonsence check out this video. Some guys put it together on the anaversery of cctv in the first city it was used. They set an 8 foot tall alien loose on the city to see how fast the police would respond. Yeah, its funny but then agian, its a little creepy. I am not up in arms yet but if there were cameras following me home from work, you'd better believe I would be.

[Miscellanea]

Lets all Status

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 04:24:00 +0000

This is a continuation of my Status Update:stalkerNET series where we take a look at the absurdity that people's status updates.

[female] is very excited for tonight :)
Thats what she said? ... maybe, no ... alright then

[female] is i did not poke everyone, sorry. thank youuuu
Something about this makes me think that you in fact did poke everyone ... and for those not so familiar with facebook this just sounds wrong

[male] is liking weiner in and around his mouth...
I believe this is from a movie but again, you might run the risk of being misunderstood.

[female] misses the bunnies.
I mean whatever floats your boat I guess.

[male] thinks she is ready to go off the pill.
This would be strange enough if it was a girl saying it but a guy saying it about another girl? I would have some questions about that.

[female] is mother's day was invented because the govt felt bad about abolishing child labor laws.
You people astound me sometimes. Happy Mother's day I guess.

[female] THERE IS A PEACOCK ON MY ROOF. no im not kidding.
"I'm speechless" - Whats that from quick ... celebrity jeopardy you say? Looks like we have a winner. But all seriousness aside, you really shouldn't kid about these things.

[male] has a habbit of falling for Lesbians.
Uh huh, this is one of those things you dont say out loud, or post where all your friends are sure to see it.

And for your viewing pleasure this is a screen shot of an unnamed persons mini-feed ... that is quite a day you have going there buddy, I feel for you. For maximum effect, start reading from the bottom as that is how the chronology works with these things.

And to make it even worse, there was two message from the girl at the bottom saying "check your messages" and "Please turn on your phone." No place is better for an over dramatic breakup for all to see than our good friend facebook.

The Short Film Genre

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 04:01:00 +0000

So there is a new genre in town that I am falling in love with. It is the short films. And there seem to be quite a few very good ones around lately I thought I would mention a few of them. I'm not exactly sure what makes them so good, of course it is a multitude of small things. They are really just bite-sized nuggets of life that are intentional in their presentation, something that is missed in current media frenzy market. I dont know, its like good photography taken one dimension further. So anyway here are three of my favorites, all slightly different in their style. Granted they all have a touch of romance (dont judge me) but hey thats life. Hope you enjoy these, the higher quality version is worth it so make sure to turn that on.

Word Builder
This one has been pretty popular lately so if you haven't already seen it, by all means it is worth it. First of all the sheer art of it. One day in filming, two years in post production. That is amazing. And its got a little bit of a geeky side to satisfy.

Signs
This is a cuter story about comunication and yet it has no words ... actually none of these do. It represtents the most traditial filming style at least.

Notte Sento
This film rounds out this little list with a bit of stop motion. Very imprssive stop motion I might add. Its in Ittalina but you will figure it out.

Voice of a God

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 03:46:00 +0000

So one thing I keep a pretty good handle on is my list of people that I hope God sounds like. I mean come one we have all thought about it. Mine changes occasionally and to try and accommodate different types of voices or different styles of speaking. But pretty consistently at the top of my list, and I would imagine many others, is that of Morgan Freeman. This picture pretty much illustrates why.

I mean that is pretty close to the truth right there I have to say. I wish he would narrate bedtime stories. But that is actually a really nice segway into my next point about the man. I think we should start a petition to have the American version of Planet Earth be re dubbed with his voice. Attenbouroh is respectable hugely respectable and often ends up on that list I talked about but Sigourney Weaver? Really? I cant stand her compared to Attenbouroh. But how amazing would it be to fall in love with our planet to the soothing tones of Morgan Freeman. Think about it ... that could possibly make Planet Earth the best thing to ever be shown on a television ... ever. And have a little self respect Freeman, penguins are bush league ... take on the planet.

[ROLFLRAZZI]

A True American Hero

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:24:00 +0000

A few days ago, a little soul with a dream inspired a nation. It did not run for office, or promise change, it did not make headline news or tabloid racks. No my friends, it did what nothing of its kind had ever done before. And it was great. Yes I am talking about Spacebat. The little critter that could who followed his dreams to the end and died realizing his greatest one. I will not go back and tell his story but you can read it here. It is an awe inspiring tale and this video pays tribute to a true hero. Amidst a world lacking in true passion and bravery, with icons that disappoint, Spacebat is a ray of hope for us all. You will forever occupy are hearts. Godspeed spacebat.

[Gizmodo]

Rap Around the World

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:50:00 +0000

So this has been a popular video in the last day or so but I thought it was pretty freaking cool. I mean this is why you just gotta love Southwest Airlines (despite them not giving you an assigned seat that is). But this guys has a job to do and he does it but it is interesting. God forbid. Anyway take a look and remember this guy next time some flight attendant shows you how to buckle a seat belt.

[TBT]

Back Again

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:31:00 +0000

Well hello everybody. I am back ... again. I know my recent return to the world of blogging was shorter than I expected but that unfortunately happens some times. For those of you who care I have been pledging a fraternity (dont judge me) for the last couple of weeks and haven't even had time to get to my reader. And I'm a little OCD so that has not been the most pleasant experience seeing 1000+ up in my little corner every day. But I do have a folder full of stuff to share so without further adue, let us re-enter the pensive.

Chistmas "Down in Africa"

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:58:00 +0000

So those of you who know me know that I am really not a big fan of Christmas music. It is over played, played for way to long, and guess what I have heard it all before. I'm going to stop myself there because I have no empty boxes of soap laying around and it could get ugly. So I will digress to share with you some Christmas music that I really did enjoy. This choir from Indiana I believe has put together a rather remarkable arrangement of music that is truly Remixed. Now its worth a chuckle until it gets to the 2 min mark and they drop a musical atom bomb. Lets just say Toto is involved and it is glorious. This is the stuff to get me in the season.

via [Awesomology]

How God Intended Man to Drive

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:24:00 +0000

Of course Hollywood gives us an unrealistic picture of how amazing driving can be. I mean no one can get in a car and pull the kind of things they do in the Italian Job. Well I'm pretty sure Ken Block can. I mean I'll be real honest, I'm not a car guy. I dont know how many horsepower the new M6 has got but I do know that this guy knows how its done. Sit back and prepare to be amazed.

[DYH]

Not Fit for Print Roundup

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:20:00 +0000

This Edition of Not Fit for Print is going to look a little bit different. While I have taken a break from blogging for the last couple of months, I have not taken a break from filling my "to blog" folder with interesting tidbits. So I thought I would group several funny news stories together where the title really does say it all.

Man Nearly Dies After Lover Carves Heart on His Chest

A Canadian woman has pleaded guilty to stabbing her boyfriend, nearly killing him, in a botched sex game in which he asked her to carve a heart-shaped symbol on his chest. [Link]

I believe botched is an understatement or someone doesn't understand the meaning of the word game.

Rescue Planned for Woman Trapped by Giant Pig

A huge pig called Bruce has trapped a terrified woman in her home in Australia. [Link]

Why would Bruce do such a thing???

OMG, 007! British Spy Agency Recruiting on Facebook

Britain's MI6 foreign intelligence service confirms it's running recruitment ads on Facebook. [Link]

Are you sure its not a middle aged man posing as someone else ... or wait, that might be his job in this particular case.

Pony Falls Into Pool After Getting Drunk on Rotten Apples

A horse in England wandered into a swimming pool after getting drunk on fermented apples Tuesday, the Daily Mail reports. [Link]

I'm gonna have to stop you there sir. No more Apples for you, oh and let me have that saddle, your not ridding home like that.

Snake on a Plane Gives Cabin Crew the Slip

An Air India flight turned into a real-live take on Samuel L. Jackson’s 'Snakes on a Plane,' when a slithery stowaway was spotted under a seat, according to a report from Agence France-Presse. [Link]

Somebody's got to get these motherF#%$ing snakes of this motherF#%$ing plane.

This has been a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Kodak Moment? Probably Not

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:14:00 +0000

So its the middle of the week and I thought it would be healthy if everyone just smiled. So to help us all achieve this I have a little visual stimuli. This was the subject of a caption contest over at GorillaSushi and while there are probably a million captions that fit, I would prefer just to sit back and marvel at the pure absurdity of it. This is artwork people.

via GorillaSushi

The Big G is Watching You

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:18:00 +0000

In an attempt to further distract myself from studying for my impending Spanish test, I thought I would share a little something with you that happened to me yesterday. This particular story actually starts over thanksgiving break while I was doing a little Christmas shopping in the mall. I some how made it out of a department store without the aid of a gas mask when I walked by a little Tea shop. Now I am a big fan of tea. In Prague last year I visited a great little tea house with tons of different teas, I wish we did that here instead of Starbucks. Anywho I was enjoying this tea store in the mall, getting very excited about what all from there I was going to add to my Christmas list, grabbed the brochure and headed on my way. Well here I am a week later sitting at my computer checking my email when low and behold up at the top of my gmail inbox (you know the strip with the adds or news stories or whatnot) is the website of the exact store I had been in. Holy crap google is tracking me to improve its add placement. I mean I even thought, well maybe I mentioned it in an email I sent or something ... yeah, no. So there you go folks, your secrets are now the big G's secrets. Get used to it.

If you were wondering about that store and didnt want to wait for it to pop up in your inbox [Teavana]

Umm, My Row is Missing

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 03:59:00 +0000

So I noticed something funny today as I was flying and it made me wonder. I was on an Airtran flight in aisle 15 and was looking down the row staring at inanimate objects when i realized they were missing one of the signs for an aisle. And then on closer inspection, I realized they were missing an entire aisle all together. Yes ladies and gentlemen, there was absolutely no aisle 13. Now I know this is somewhat of a common occurrence. There is, for example, not many hotels with a 13th floor. Some dont have 13th rooms. And as a general rule, room 666 usually gets left out. And I understand it from a comercial standpoint. Its easier to avoid people complaining about there seat or row or room by just leaving those hot ones off the plans. And maybe its just because I'm not superstitios but I do find it odd. Whats more scary about a row a foot behind you (or in airtrans case, like 6 inches)? We as people find very odd things to be worried about. Perhaps we should think about world hunger as opposed to how unlucky our seat assignment is.

Mmmmmm

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:54:00 +0000

This is one of those videos that is nice to watch and be like, wow that kid probably feels like he wants to die right now. Oh its good to be the one watching other people getting hurt. Have a wonderful Friday everyone. And don't stand in front of anyone who involves gymnastics in their throw in technique.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

[TBT]

Saftey First, For the Beer that Is

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:50:00 +0000

This is a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Australian Man Fined for Buckling Up Beer, Not Child
Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car's floor, police say.

So first of all, I gotta say, this guy has an interesting set of priorities. I mean beer or gasoline is one thing but beer or small child ... not quite the same. I would also like to point out that the 30 pack of beer was strapped into the middle seat in the back ... between two other adults. The kid, with no where else to sit, was on that little lump on the floor. I mean if one guy threw his kid in the back with out a belt so he could keep an eye on the beer, but at least 3 adults are in this car and made the executive decision to boot the kid. I mean hey, at least they didn't put him in the trunk right. And on a side note, this is why I have a distaste for the news. This guy got fined 750 dollars in AUSTRALIA. This has absolutely no effect on my life and if we printed an article about every equally stupid thing humans have done there wouldn't be enough paper left for the sports section. I watch the Daily Show to hear about this kind of thing.

[Fox News]

Suprise, Look Who it Is

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 17:44:00 +0000

Well for the like 3 of you that have your RSS readers pointed my direction this will be a pleasant surprise (I hope). I have decided revive this once flourishing blog to its former glory. Now seeing as I no longer live in Eastern Europe and actually have a social life (okay somewhat of a social life) I will not be able to hold down the 2 posts a day but I would like to try and average 3 or 4 a week. You know, baby steps. My reader's "to blog" folder is quite full so I'll give you a little preview. I've got a ton of Not Fit for Print that I am looking forward to writing about. Also some Facebook statuses, funny videos, you know how I am. Alrighty then, well wish me luck and off we go.

The Things You Wouldn't Blow Up for a Boy

noreply@blogger.com (Alex Gray) — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:53:00 +0000

This is a continuation of the Not Fit for Print series featuring absurd headlines from our trusted news sources.

Report: Girls Gang Blows Up Houses Over Boy
A gang of London teenage girls is suspected of destroying three houses
and killing a man with a homemade liquid bomb during an argument over a
boy.

Now I have always been first to tell you that high school girls are the devil, what with all the backstabbing, putting Nair in the Shampoo bottle, and baking Ritalin into the cookies. But apparently in London they are taking things to a whole new level. Basically these masterminds of crime poured some sort of liquid bomb concoction (they found the recipe on the internet) into a mailbox of someone trying to steal their man. The police are now out looking for this "girl gang." My heart goes out to London's finest, its probably time to break out the riot gear.

[Fox News]