The Adam and Matty Show

Episode 23: Please insert here, in another dimension, hunky policeman, s&m barbie, and the outlaw of the West.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:46:18 -0500

This is a shortened episode because Adam is getting ready for his trip to Washington State. Adam starts out by talking about his recent car experience and the hunky police officer who helped out.

In the news, Christians could start getting arrested in Brazil if they discriminate against homosexuals. In England, families are outraged at the new "S&M Barbie." And a surgeon is being sued for tattooing a patient while she was under anesthesia.

We listen to an audio clip of a 911 call here in Texas of a man who decides to take the law into his own hands. Decide for yourself if we have gone back to the age of cowboys and Indians. :)

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode 22: Extra Crispy or Extra Bitcy, Adam's "GEEKY" bad day, Advertising "Suck our cocks, their the best!!", Happy Anniversary and Fuck Off!, Dead Donkey Auction, and Play the music Adam!!

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:56:19 -0500

Adam and Matty are crabby, bitcy and Matty is drunk this evening. It's an interesting time to say the least. There's a conversation with Terminally Single Tim, including three ways and Paula Dean, Rock Throwing, and British Kisses...and that's only in the first 25 minutes.

In the News, a man recieves a bill for damage to a police car incurred while retrieving his stolen vehicle. A man buys a dead donkey and then raffles it off, robbery by lightbulb, urine tests, and sawed off pee pee.

In Matty's ignance land, rescued gimpy dolls, crack head attacked by toilet seat, torched yard, and stupid crook returns to crime scene to recover his dropped wallet. We also listen to a naughty british kids show. No wonder those Brits turn out the way they do.

This is the F*ck up show!! Adam forgets about voicemails and starts the ending music early. Then the audio isn't loaded. Will this day EVER end.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #21: Full moon rants, one-shot, two-shots, three-shots, WHORE, three blind mice and a shotgun, matty gets his ignance song, and Gerbil lovin.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Tue, 8 Jul 2008 23:56:08 -0500

We begin tonights show with rants from the week. What is it about a clearance sale and white trash women? Adam and Matty bitch about their crazy customers this week. There are also stories about the nude pool party, one shot, two shots, three shots, whore.

In the news, a woman shoots herself as she trys to kill a mouse in her trailer with a .44 handgun. Children may be racist if they don't like ethnic food. And woman assailed by swinging genitals in Germany. Adam and Matty would love to be assailed by genitals.

Matty can finally stop his bitching and moaning about an ignance song. Adam put together a theme song for the ignance list. Please send all negative comments to someone else. Any positive comments can go to Adam.

Finally, we listen to a radio news story about a gerbil, two homos, and a paper towel tube. Oh my!! I'm not sure that it's a real story, but it sure is funny.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #20: Bangers and Mash, Adam and Matty's Blue Ball Special, a whole new meaning to TheeWay Calling, watermelon Viagra, and Mini Me sex.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Wed, 2 Jul 2008 00:23:30 -0500

Let's all have a heaping helping of Bangers and Mash. Or at least get banged by our guest tonight. Jai, the hottie from the British Isles joins us for a brief chat at the beginning of the show. Keep your hands off boys. He's OURS.

Adam and Matty discuss encounters with a gecko and their trip to the lake. Sorry guys, it wasn't the nudie lake this time. We just had a swim in the mudhole called Grapevine lake. Have you ever heard of a moon fish??

In the news, Adam discusses the $25 an hour pay of an old homeless man in Colorado, a streaker in a thong, fake breasts, and a wig, and watermelon viagra. Matty attempts to read his ignance list and fails miserably. He won't be quitting his day job.

Lastly, listen in to a sex scene you didn't hear or see in the Austin Powers movies. Mini Me having sex? Adam makes a true life confession. And listen in to the listener voicemails. We love you all!!

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #19a: Menajapodcast, Prudy McPrudy Pants, 5 bottoms on the kitchen island, WOW that dental plan is really workin out for ya, double wide houseboat , road head, and REALLY, I would've just pissed on myself again .

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:38:24 -0500

This is the third series in our menajapodcast special. Of course Adam and Matty wanted to CUM last. Join us in this third part of our podcast orgy with The Way We See It Podcast and QThunderboysLIVE. Please excuse the audio as skype had some sort of STD when we recorded.

I would take the time to outline everything we talked about, but I would be here all night. Listen in as we ramble about anything and EVERYTHING. Nothing is too sacred for this f'd up podcast.

Matty covers a shortened ingance list for this episode and Adam has a couple of "Dirty Minds" questions for the bois. And REALLY...does pissing have to come into EVERY podcast??

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #19: Lucky Jock Strap, Clothing Not-So Optional, Chocolate with Cream, and my organ teacher with the HUGE organ!

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:21:48 -0500

The bois discuss their week mowing weed wacking, NOT wacking off, and going to more pool parties. Matty got WAY too drunk at the party leaving Adam to navigate his way to gather the drunky food and get them home. With only one dropped burger, the boys made it home without incident.

In the news this week, girls sexually harassing builders, ugliest dog, and the CDC uses Duct Tape in their $214 MILLION facility. Even scientists know how good that shit is. It will stick to anything. And we listen to an outtake of a news report gone wrong.

We try a new game this week. Listen in as Adam and Matty play their dirty version of The Price Is Right. Will Matty guess the price of the inflatable dong? Only if he can pull the one out of his ass to check the tag.

Links from this Episode

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Episode #18: We don't swim in your ass, so don't cum in our pool. Excuse me sir, before you get on the plane, do you need to empty your poop sac? How many immigrants can you fit in one attic, and Flaming wheel chairs.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:29:22 -0500

Adam and Matty had a fun time at the first pool party of the summer. There will be pictures posted, and we're sure there will be more of the parties this summer as well. How scandalous is YOUR pool party?

In the news, we learn about airport security that can tell you how full your poop sac may be, immigrant stow aways, and flaming wheel chairs.

We also make fun of two ignant girls in Florida who stole money from a girlscout. And then, they proceeded to show their lack of brains and remorse while giving an interview to a local station. What lesson did you take away from this situation? "We learned not to get caught next time." Whatever!?!

Links from this Episode

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Episode #17: I'll Have a Burger, Fries, and a side of schlong please, cream on the side. Gay love Connection in Sinton, a mooning gone horribly wrong, and "Matty, Judge and Jury".

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 9 Jun 2008 11:37:21 -0500

In this episode, Adam discusses flirtation with a new boi at Wendys. "Are YOU on the dollar menu?" I don't think so.

We discuss a listener in Sinton, TX and offer up to make a love connection with one of our listeners. As there is NOONE in Sinton to be found.

In the News, a guy is injured in a mooning incident gone horribly wrong and Matty sits as Judge and Jury, which is no surprise to anyone we're sure.

Links from this Episode

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #16: Vacation Hell, Bull Testicles (what?), yeast infected Sex and the City, and can I have some dirty hot puffy tacos?

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 2 Jun 2008 00:42:51 -0500

Adam and Matty discuss their not-so vacations with the family over the Memorial Day weekend. Matty is bitter over his trip to Corpus and Adam recounts his trip to Hickville.

In the news this week, we celebrate the bull testicle as Adam reads a story about a festival in Wyoming. Anyone care for some deep fried nuts?

Adam and Matty recount their trip to see Sex and the City this weekend. "Fabulous" movie, but beware of the hoards of pussy invading the theaters. This is a female filled movie guys.

And last but not least, we discuss our trip to the bar on Saturday and the puffy tacos we enjoyed later. We will let you listen in to figure out what that is. It's delicious!!

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #15: It's Memorial Day so get out your moomoo and get to the beach, vacationing with the evil twins, naked matty, and get your gay on vacation destinations.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:30:43 -0500

This is the Memorial Day broadcast of the Adam and Matty show. We were on vacation this weekend so this was prerecorded, but posted late so that I could add our updates.

Adam and Matty discuss naked sunbathing for anorexic bitches and the top gay vacation destinations. Also listen in to our bitter voicemails from our trips to see family this weekend.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #14: Thank you for calling dell, how can we fuck you over? My computer needs a dickectomy, you can see my pussy, but not my face. Fall TV preview, too bad it's not porn, and I'd rather have a dildo ass scratcher than a revolver up my ass.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 19 May 2008 00:13:49 -0500

Adam discusses his attempts at repairing Matty's ailing computer this past week. We get to hear Matty type the entire episode as proof that the computer was fixed. Adam complains about the Dell customer service representative and plays audio that is very fitting.

Matty discusses his week at his new job and a couple of hot guys that work in his department. Is it sexual harassment if they are hot?? We certainly hope not.

Adam discusses a woman in the news who divorced her husband because he removed her vail after 30 years of not seeing her face. What has he been looking at all these years? Her twat? Adam also goes over a fall TV preview...and NOT porn you dirty minded listeners.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #13: Weedwacker wackoff, birthday ass, dirty dildo candles, and kinky news.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:31 -0500

The adventures of Adam and Matty continue as Matty has a fight with both a weedeater and a 6 inch stud and looses. Matty also turned one year older this past weekend, and of course, drama ran rampant as usual. How many guys do you know who get ass for their birthday??

Matty also started a new job this week and Adam has more adventures at his new part time job. Which of these candles will fit in my ass??

The news this week is full of kinkiness as a CNN anchor get's busted cruising in Central Park and a woman kills her husband in a bondage fantasy gone awry. Or did it?

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #12: Hot creamy mexican, don't you dare tax my double cheeseburger, smell my chair, good luck baby toss, and double "D" Obama.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 4 May 2008 22:33:36 -0500

We had a pretty uneventful week this week. But Adam does discuss the creamy light skinned hispanic guy from Mexico City that he works with at Pier One. He'd like to tap that mexican ass.

In the news, there is discussion of a "sin" tax on fast food in New Jersey. Matty may fall over dead if that ever happens in the wonderful state of Texas. A politician in Australia smells a womans chair after she gets up for that smell of twat. Doesn't that come in a room spray??

There is a story about religious fanatics in India who throw their babies off of a temple 50 feet to a sheet below for good luck. No wonder they all work for Dell reading off of scripts. And we discuss a reverend in Manhattan who hates Obama.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #11: Wank Your Way to Good Health, Can I get an Amen and another round for the fellas, Forklift needed for Sex Slave, Dear Jesus can I have cheaper gas, and adolescent city council.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 22:54:36 -0500

Adam discusses his new part time job other than the escort business that flopped. Matty discusses his new job as well and the drama surrounding his current position. Bitterness flows like vodka in the Adam and Matty studios.

Adam goes over funny news stories from the week including a way for men to avoid certain cancers, curious church services, overweight corpses, and triplet porn stars. Matty has another ignance list filled with sheer stupidity.

Lastly, we listen to a clip of a recent city Council meeting in detroit that goes a bit ghetto and a lot adolescent. Listen in and listen to what your tax dollars may be paying for.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #10: Take Deux, take one cap of bleach and call me in the morning, it's a fat ass world, and it's sheer ingnance.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:00:33 -0500

Hey everyone. It's our second attempt at episode 10. We recorded orginally on Saturday, but the audio was unbearable due to my shitty ass Vista operating system and McAffee. I found out McAffee scans continually unless you turn the shit off. I THINK I've gotten it fixed. Hope so. If we aren't funny in this episode, then just think of how HILLARIOUS we were on Saturday.

I go over some funny stories from the news this week including the high level of sex education in Florida, the anorexia delima in France, and of course the fat asses at Disney.

Matty thinks just about everything in life is ignant, so join in as he starts his list of ignance from the week. I'm sure you will all be enlightened.

Last, but not least, a show just wouldn't be a show without some stupid bitch squeeling like a pig as she is tazed by a hot cop. Is this an abuse of power or did she get what she had coming?

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Episode #9: How does white trash install a satelite, What does a man have to do to get a penis sucker, and porn for the blind (only moaners need apply).

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:08:50 -0500

Ok ok...it's not usually funny when someone dies. But when you hear this story, you will not be able to help yourself. Whatever happened to using a drill to make a hole in the wall?? What do you think a white trash man will use to do the same task?

We discuss our hunt for the illusive penis lollipop, or as we say in the south, "sucker." We also reveal the winner to our very first show contest. Tune in to find out.

Were you ever told that you would go blind if you masterbate too much? Well, don't you worry. If you do go blind, there is a porn website for you. You won't even have to skip a j/o session. Log on to pornfortheblind.org. :)

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Episode #8: What does it take to get a trick? Step right up ladies and gentlemen to see the purple haired leather daddy and world's first Pregnant Man. Bitchy choir directors and organists who bend over. Adam and Matty whip somebody's techno ass, and loan officer on X with his Pecker stickin out.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Mon, 7 Apr 2008 22:59:02 -0500

Matty is as usual preoccupied with finding the next trick. "Bottom down on aile three is a blue light special!" What does it take to find a trick in bum fucked Egypt anyway?

We discuss the recent story about a pregnant man. My stance on the issue is that it's not a man at all. If you got a pussy, you ain't a man. We'll leave it to you to decide.

We also discuss a new song to grace the pages of the internet. If you ever feel stressed at work and want to kick some ass, you'll appreciate this song. Try out the blues AND techno flavors please.

And finally, we discuss our bitchy choir director,the organist bottom, and the faggoty loan officer with X-tongue and a sticky outie pecker...Oh MY!

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

Episode #7: Nipples, nipples, and more nipples. Can a fag measure higher than 8 1/2 inches? How dirty is YOUR mind? I've got a toiletectomy at 10. And, take a swim in the dead pool.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:10:02 -0500

Can there ever be too many nipples and boobs? When they are attached to women,we say YES. We describe our trip to the local white trash sports bar and a recent news story regarding an airport and a nipple ring. Evidently a pierced areola cannot fly the friendly skys.

We discuss our recent endeavor into lesbianism. We are tiling the backsplash in the kitchen ourselves. The horror! Can a faggot really measure anything that's over 8 1/2 inches? A ruler and a gay boi do not mix.

We also try out a game we pulled out of the "closet." How dirty is YOUR mind? Let's find out. Let's take a dip in the pool as Adam and Matty start their very own dead pool for '08. Who do U think will die first?

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #6: Bitter pills, the resurrection of Matty, Bear Cave madness, Feltup Barback, and "I'll take my communion on the rocks please."

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:28:17 -0500

Matty is coming down from a Vicadin high in this episode. Sorry for the bitterness, but his back hurts. Hmmm... What was he doing to get a back ache?

We discuss our trip to the bear bar over the weekend. We didn't really fit in. Find out what happens when you mix two semi-twinks with a room full of bears. It's not always pretty. We had to leave the bear cave and go to our favorite bar at the moment, so Adam could feel up the barback.

We ramble on about our Easter madness and it seems Matty wants to give a review of all of the bars in Dallas. Who needs the Damron guide when you have our show?

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #5: Introducing our friend Joseph, the wicked Bitch, Queen of the Northwest. Tar and Feather the Fat Baptist, Governors and Hoes, and Revenge of the Sucky Faggot Realtor.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:08:00 -0500

Sorry for the delay in posting this week's episode. Things have been a bit hectic here in the Adam and Matty household. I had a concert on Sunday and wasn't able to edit the audio until yesterday.

We introduce you to a good friend of ours in this episode. Joseph will be joining us from time to time to shoot the shit and talk about whatever is on his mind. He doesn't even have to be drunk to be giggly. LOL

In this episode, we discuss fat baptist senators from oklahoma who think that homosexuals have an agenda to teach their children our ways. Does every politician have a hoe on the side? Find out where the good escorts hang out in Dallas.

We also are suprised to learn that our stupid faggoty realtor listens to the show!! We are sooo embarrased that we've said all that about him. Maybe we can make it up to him by giving him a good time. :) Once he has the best bj in the world,he won't even remember what Matty said.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #4: Urinal foreplay, jumpstart me with your huge jumper cable, and my fellow Americans "What's the price of gas?"

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 9 Mar 2008 23:04:00 -0500

Do you enjoy some nice hot forplay at the urinal? Well, it appears Adam does. Listen in as Adam and Matty discuss their trip to the local cruisy bar for some hot strippers, hot bar tenders and play at the urinal. Play at the urinal?? Just listen.

Adam and Matty discuss car trouble woes. But don't worry. Where there is a broken down car, there is a HOT SEXY str8 boi with a big THICK jumper cable.

In the news, President George W doesn't know the current price of gas. We guess he's spending too much time planning the Presidential Library and his retirement home here in TX.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #3: The Matty Show, with special guest, ADAM. On your right, you'll notice your graveyard. The Corpus Christi International Airport and Trailer Park, and Duck Orgasms.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 2 Mar 2008 13:08:58 -0600

Matty gets a little long winded in this episode when he discusses his trip home to see the family. If you don't know everything about his life and family, you will after this show.

Adam and Matty discuss air travel and the amount of training it must take for that flight crew to sound so calm no matter what issues are going on in the plane.

Adam discusses his trip to the strip club with Justin from the DTWF podcast and their fun times with the stripper.

Last, but not least, this isn't an episode from the Disney channel. Listen in as one of Disney's characters has an orgasm. A WHAT?? Just listen in.
Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #2: Southern Fried Goodness, Oops I slipped and fell on your stick shift, and looking for fisting friends.

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:26:18 -0600

Adam discusses his Southern fried Valentine's Day dinner for Matty. Adam reads a survey done by Kia motors concerning couples and driving. Do you hate your partner's driving? Has driving ever broken up a relationship in your life?

Adam and Matty introduce a new segment called Adam and Matty's 5+5. 10 things that drive us crazy when driving or riding with others.

Looking for friends on gay.com? Please don't put pictures of your ass hole if that's all you want. We discuss people who show their privates online but pretend to be "looking for friends."

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.

Episode #1: Introductions, Tranny Sex, Butthole tattoos

adam@adamandmattyshow.com (Adam & Matty) — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 20:46:58 -0600

Adam and Matty introduce themselves. Ever had tranny sex? Does this make you less gay? Do you think a butthole tattoo would be cool or gross? Matty thinks porn was sent from God above. What do you think.

Listen in as we discuss these topics and more. Call us on our Skype line 469-277-2204 and leave a voicemail. Visit us at www.adamandmattyshow.com and leave a comment.