The Cricket Nerd

GIF of the day: Gilly dances

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 18 May 2013 16:45:00 +0000

Adam Gilchrist? More like Adam GIFchrist! (sorry)

GIF of the day: Bhangnam Style

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 21:47:00 +0000

Not a title I'd ever have wanted to type.

Gifs of the day: Gayle being awesome

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 01:53:00 +0000

It's like he wants to be GIF'd.

Gif of the day: the Bravo jig

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 03:47:00 +0000

He's getting really pelvic.

Gif of the day: Ponting flies

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 02:58:00 +0000

While Harbhajan watches.

The gif is a slightly slowed down version of real-time, by the way.

Gifs from DD vs RR: Sreesanth and Rahane

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 06 Apr 2013 21:19:00 +0000

He's back.

And here's some brilliance from Rahane. Not the best angle but it's a screamer.

IPL 6: Young Indian players to watch

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:30:00 +0000

The IPL is near, heading towards us like a meteor. A meteor carrying cheerleaders, soulless sponsors and music way past its expiry date. And whichever Ravi Shastri clone swallowed a microphone.

Last year we used it as an emotional shield from the battering India received in Tests, this year we can pretend to be eagle-eyed scouts looking into space for the future stars of Indian cricket.

I peered at this year's squads with narrowed eyes to make this very short list, because I was looking for players who were (a) new to the gig and (b) likely to get at least one game. That ruled out most of the others. That doesn't mean there won't be surprises, because IPL teams are only consistent in their inconsistence.

Baba Aparajith (Chennai Super Kings) - Big things are expected of this 18-year old, who was a key part of India's recent U-19 World Cup win. Apart from looking like R. Ashwin's younger brother, he's a reliable batsman, a more-than-handy offspinner and an athletic fielder. Doesn't have much of a T20 record yet, but he is playing for his home side and he might get a couple of opportunities if ~~luck~~ Dhoni allows it.

Ishwar Pandey (Pune Warriors) - He has had a very impressive season, and would even be known as the best fast (medium) bowler in India if random comments on the Internet meant anything. His chances of making the XI are low, as Pune also have Bhuvneshwar Kumar and Ashok Dinda, but with the number of games to be played he could get a game or two.

Vijay Zol (Royal Challengers Bangalore) - Another member of the successful U-19 side, Zol was snapped up by RCB before last year's IPL. This aggressive left-hander has already taken to T20 cricket, having already notched up a hundred and a fifty within his first four senior matches, with a strike rate of 150. RCB are always rotating their Indian batsmen who aren't named Kohli, so he will get his chance.

Biplab Samantray (Sunrisers Hyderabad) - He's an underrated medium-pace bowling allrounder, with more domestic T20 fifties and a better economy rate than Ravindra Jadeja. Hyderabad having the weakest Indian contingent in the IPL could well work in his favor.

Not the image you're looking for.

Sachin Baby (Rajasthan Royals) - Because why the hell not? Look at that name. Now look at it again. Keep looking at it until you're imagining Sachin Tendulkar's head on a baby's body. Okay, it's not that much different from the real thing (just kidding, Sachin diehards. don't come looking for me, I only exist on the Internet)

Aaanyway, about this guy. He definitely has the numbers - he averages just under 50 in List A games at a strike rate of 103, while averaging a shade under 20 at a strike rate of 160 in T20s. He could be just what Rajasthan need to shore up a shaky lower middle order. Also, did I mention his name?

Honorary mention: Unmukt Chand played for Delhi last year and hasn't really looked cut out for T20 until he smashed consecutive hundreds a few days ago.

Comic: Starc contrast

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 16 Mar 2013 20:33:00 +0000

Too good a screencap to ignore. Pretty sure Dhawan's 'mo was sculpted specifically for this crap.

Gif of the day: Swept away

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 05:05:00 +0000

Alternative titles:

Down, Billy

Stop, drop and roll

Billy Bowdown (okay, that jumped the shark a bit)

Gif of the day: Well left

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sun, 03 Feb 2013 01:39:00 +0000

Dougie learned that from Michael Clarke.

Vote!

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:43:00 +0000

So, the unexpected has occurred and this blog has been nominated for two Sportskeeda Blogger Awards - in the Cricket Humor and Syndicated categories. Usually I'd say that I'm not doing it for the awards, that I just love writing/blogging and all that crap, but that's just because cricket blog awards have never really been a thing.

So click on the portal/link/image below and vote for me, and maybe I'll get to go a ceremony where Ricky Gervais makes fun of me.

Comic: Sledging?

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:09:00 +0000

Shane Warne does everything better.

Gif of the day: Raina mimics Billy

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 03:51:00 +0000

Fun little incident from a disappointing match.

The Worst Test XI of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 08:14:00 +0000

It's that time of the year again. The time to celebrate the duds. This year's got a pretty good crop of talented players who had the kinds of performance issues that can't be solved by pills. Not legally, anyway.

Taufeeq Umar (246 runs at 24.6): This year was a return to mediocrity for Taufeeq, who had a pretty successful comeback year in 2011. He managed to hold onto his spot because he was competing with Imran Farhat and no one else. Still has a flashy backlift.

This is for his backup career as a car salesman.

Adrian Barath (179 runs at 16.27): Talked up by Lara, century on debut against the Australians, but little else going for him. With things looking good for the West Indies in the latter half of 2012, Barath will need to do a lot more to get his place back. Like get Steve Bucknor to talk him up, to lower all the expectations.

Shaun Marsh (14 runs at 3.5): While his teammates piled on the runs, Shaun Marsh was the walking wicket India didn't have to worry about. And we're grateful to him for that. The IPL did put him in the public eye, after all.

Sachin Tendulkar (357 runs at 23.8): I never imagined I'd have to do this, but this was not Sachin's year. He looked listless, and at times even out of his depth. To be fair though, he depth is very deep, if that makes any sense. Ended the year by retiring from the format that made him a superstar.

Eoin Morgan (82 runs at 13.66): Eoin "Vowels" Morgan was one of the few batsmen to audition for a lower-middle spot in the England batting order this year, and he failed miserably. Five out of the six dismissals were brought about by spin - thrice by Ajmal and twice by Rehman. Test cricket is destined to be without the most confident reverse-sweeper around.

Samit Patel (109 runs at 15.57, 4 wickets at 64.25): Morgan's failure meant that a spot opened up for Samit Patel, who could also chip in with his... spin? A true allrounder, he was awful with both bat and ball. And you can make up your own "all round -> fat" joke. That's beneath me.

No joke here.

Kruger van Wyk (wk) (341 runs at 21.31): He probably wouldn't have made this XI if I had decided it didn't need a real format, but I did and he was the worst 'keeper-bat statistically. Actually, Baugh had a lower average but van Wyk played thrice as many innings. (Cool story, right? I know nothing about Kruger van Wyk, except that it's what I'd name a Bond villain if he owned a tiger. It's a toss-up between Kruger van Wyk and El Tigre Pussygalore.)

Aizaz Cheema (1 wicket at 167): Pakistan have been known to produce many quality fast bowlers. This is not one of them. If you had told me at the beginning of 2012 that Mohammed Sami would average 75 fewer runs per wicket than the next worst Pakistani bowler, I would have coughed up my appendix laughing. Which would conveniently free up space in my body for an appendix-sized pizza slice (because that's how the human body works).

Ishant Sharma (7 wickets at 75.57): These aren't the bowling figures of an unlucky bowler, they're the stats of a bloody awful bowler who has a firm grasp on one end of a very long rope. Longer than several of him put together, even. Ended the year, somehow, as India's spearhead. That's a very blunt toy spear with an "all ages" sign on it.

Looks threatening enough.

Nuwan Pradeep (1 wicket at 235): And with an economy of 4.19. Yikes. Moving on.

Imran Tahir (17 wickets at 55.88): I could have put someone else in this spot, but there's no way that was going to happen after the tonking he got from Australia. 0-180 from 23 overs! I've always got a leggie's back, but that was unadulterated filth. The kind that sleazy hotels wouldn't even put on premium pay-per-view. All highlights are censored.

Rated R.

Dishonorable mentions

Daniel Vettori (5 wickets at 87.8)
Tim Bresnan (16 wickets at 55.43)
Sreesanth (0 wickets at 0) (This won't make sense, but I've never made a Worst XI list without a mention of Sreesanth. It just isn't right.)

Gifs of the day: Sachin Tendulkar

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 17:36:00 +0000

Just some of the classics. I know I'm missing a few. And by "a few" I mean several million.

Heavy page, obviously. Give it some loading time if your internet isn't tracer bullet quick.

Continue reading this article.

Gif of the day: Raina is disappointed

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 21:24:00 +0000

Another anonymous request. WHO ARE YOU?

Gif of the day: Ma-hell-of-a-catch

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 01:35:00 +0000

This one's an anonymous request (apparently, that's a thing I do now).

Great title, right?

Gif of the day: Trottshot

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 23:00:00 +0000

England are trotting to a series victory.

BCCI to arrange retirement seminar

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 01:43:00 +0000

In a recent press release (well, a tweet), the BCCI announced that they would be holding a seminar on retirement, for cricketers who are unsure about the final phases of their career.

"No one can play forever, right? No, they can't," said a high-ranking insider somewhat nervously, answering his own rhetorical question.

The BCCI is hip. A hip that needs to be replaced.

Our reporter, Fikshan-ul-Percin was there to ask the high-ranking insider (let's call him Faikh Naim) about the itinerary.

"There will be a number of guest speakers who will talk about their own experience with retirements. We have multiple retirees Mohammad Yousuf and Shahid Afridi, who is also the record holder for most failed retirements so he brings a lot to the table. We also have Ricky Ponting to tell you what he did wrong, Dravid, Laxman and Kumble for a personal touch, and a surprise guest who will announce his retirement from international cricket on stage! Hint: his name rhymes with Kadagoppan Kamesh," said Naim.

"And what about entertainment?" asked Fikshan.

"We have Saurav Ganguly doing an improvised special, called 'Things I Would Do Better if I Were Sachin Tendulkar.' Then, we will have a live musical performance from Paul McCartney."

This is six hours long.

"Is that because McCartney, like Sachin Tendulkar, was also once part of a great group of guys who did very well together, and is now the only one left standing?"

"What are you insinuating?" asked Naim angrily.

"You're obviously holding this for Sachin, right? You're clearly too afraid to drop him, and now that he's put his fate in the selectors' hands, you want to put the onus to retire back on him?"

"Preposterous!" said Naim.

"Is it?"

"PREPOSTEROUS!" he repeated.

"That sounds like exactly what a mustachioed billionaire would say when accused of plotting to kill a struggling writer who is also his daughter's lover."

"Look, we're scared, all right," said Naim bipolarly, "if Indian cricket fans were teenage girls, Sachin would be Justin Bieber. There's no way we're going against that." With those words, Naim crossed the moat, hurried back into the BCCI headquarters, and raised the drawbridge.

They have sharks with laser beams in that moat.

The event will be catered by Tendulkar's restaurant, Tendulkar's.

Note: This is very obviously a work of fiction. Leave me alone, BCCI. I am moving as I write this so don't try to find me.

Promo: Pitch Imperfect

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 08:39:00 +0000

Fact: Two minutes into opening Photoshop, I realized that this wasn't particularly worth it.

Don't worry, I'm as horrified as you are.

(Here's the real movie)

Click to enlarge.

Gif of the day: Ponting's Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 00:51:00 +0000

Fare thee well, you angry little man.

Gif of the day: Daren Powwhatthehell?

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 23:23:00 +0000

Took me only 17 seconds to come up with that winner of a title.

Thanks to Robelinda for the video.

Gif of the day: Umpires

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:29:00 +0000

Umpires, Y U NO competent?

I know this clip isn't from a recent Test. Still awful though.

Thanks to Robelinda for the video (and countless others).

If there's a gif you'd like to see, write it down in the comments, and I'll get on it ASAP. Link to a video if possible, to make it a simpler process.

Gif of the day: Ponting falls

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 22 Nov 2012 03:58:00 +0000

There's a Ricki Lake, and now a Ponting Falls. #lame

Callous delivery from Jacques. Okay, I'm done.

Let me know (using the contact tab in the menu above) if this stops being animated, I'll reupload it.

Promo: India vs England (The Grudge)

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 23:14:00 +0000

Of course it's about vengeance. It's creepy that Cook works so well as the creepy Japanese kid, guyliner and all.