The Cricket Nerd

Comic: Sourav's suggestions

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 06:42:00 +0000

This is not based on anything Ganguly said or did.

It's not really based on anything.

It just made itself.

It's not even true.

Click to enlarge.

Cricket's all-time Hyphen XI

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 01:19:00 +0000

Mandy Mitchell-Innes knows a secret and he shan't tell anyone.

I have to say, this is a list that I never thought would escape the confines of my head, which is where I usually like to discuss similarly inconsequential things with all its other occupants (only three of them actually pay rent). A couple of weeks ago, I saw Scott Oliver's entry for the Punctuation Shield, a formidable Apostrophe XI led by Basil D'Oliveira, and, upon being challenged (it was more of a suggestion, but one of the head-occupants I mentioned earlier is a former President of the Overreaction Council), I ran to Cricinfo to compile this lot.

As flawless as Statsguru may be, it confoundingly lacks a "name quality" filter. Without such a tool, how is one supposed to effortlessly do research for, say, an Innuendo XI (it would have many Richard Johnsons) or an XI of players named after cities (like Nathan Lyon or Michael Hesse). The point is, I dove into it, despite my fear of jellyfish (so slimy and so lethal), and resurfaced with players who have actually played international cricket. I didn't go into the deeper waters of first-class cricket, so despite my awareness of Surrey's excellent Rory Hamilton-Brown, I had to exclude him.

Here we go (the order may be awkward, because I couldn't find any openers):

1) Mandy Mitchell-Innes (Eng): This stylish Calcutta-born batsman may only have played one Test because he was afflicted with hay-fever, but he racked up almost 7000 first-class runs and almost 100 wickets for Somerset. At one point he was England's oldest living Test cricketer, and parents all over America were clearly so enamored with him that they named their daughters after him as a tribute.

2) Tuppy Owen-Smith (RSA): This man was the definition of the term "all-rounder". Not only was he a Wisden Cricketer of the Year for both his batting and leg-spin, he was also a champion lightweight boxer and England's rugby captain at one point. Oh, and also a doctor. And a lightning-quick fielder. It's quite clear why he was called "Tuppy" (if you know, please tell me).

3) Inzamam-ul-Haq (Pak): The legend needs no introduction. Affectionately called "Inzi" and rather less affectionately called "aloo" (potato), he is the heavyweight (had to do it) of this line-up with his lazily elegant batting against every kind of bowler except Monty Panesar.

4) Shakib Al-Hasan (Ban): The youngest member of this side, who will surely leave the game as one of its greats, is already Bangladesh's best ever cricketer (that we know of, there could be someone better in a jute farm somewhere). In the mold of Daniel Vettori, he is a left-arm spinner who is often the most penetrative bowler in his side, a middle-order batsman who often has to cover for the top order, and an ex-captain.

5) Jean-Paul Duminy (RSA): Okay, I cheated a little with this one - it's his first name that's hyphenated, and not his last. Well, there are no specific rules. "But," I hear you protest, "if we allowed every first-name hyphenated abomination, then we might as well fill up this XI with French people!" No, because we only use the term "French cricket" when the batsman is making a mistake. Anyway, JP's a very handy counter-attacking batsman and a half-decent part-time offie.

6) Frederick Leveson-Gower (wk)(Eng): This right-handed wicketkeeper was born at Titsey Place (giggle) in Surrey. He played 16 first class games in his 15-year career, and is only in this side because he was actually the best keeper I could find. It was either him or Misbah-ul-Haq, and I believe I chose wisely (because Misbah was not born in a place with a funny name, unless you find "Mianwali" hysterical).

7) Pom Pom Fellows-Smith (c)(RSA): Speaking of funny names, here's one. Fictional Fact: pompoms were actually named after him, for his habit of taking his toupee off and waving it about every time he took a wicket or hit a boundary. A legspinning all-rounder with a batting and bowling average of 29, he is unfortunate to have ended his career with 3999 FC runs and 149 FC wickets.

8) Hugh Bromley-Davenport (Eng): A left-arm fast bowler who last played for England the year before the 20th century began, he adds variety to this side, as well as a bit of celebrity, having played CB Fry, Ranjitsinhji and WG Grace.

9) George Simpson-Hayward (Eng): He was bowling under-arm off-spin back when it was still cool (that's right, a Chappell-burn), and mastered it well enough to take 503 FC wickets in 200 matches. He has the reputation of being the best among the lobbers, in fact, and he was one of the last as well. Having been a prominent lobber in my pre-pubescent days, I must say that it takes serious skill (but only at that age).

10) Dave Langford-Smith (Ire): Dave joins Bromley-Davenport as the second new-ball bowler. He is a lively fast-medium bowler who can give the ball a thump. I honestly thought there would be more Irishmen on this list, by the way.

11) Chuck Fleetwood-Smith (Aus): Chuck, or "Leslie", as his parents named him, completes my five-spinner attack. Not-so-fun fact: he was a left-arm chinaman bowler only because he once broke his right arm as a school boy. His major achievements include 597 FC wickets, and the creation of the Two Chucks.

"Come now, Mandy. Tell your buddy Leslie that secret you know."

Comic: Friday the 13th at the WACA

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 02:18:00 +0000

If this match isn't horror, I don't know what is.

If you don't get the reference, see this.

Click to enlarge.

Worst Test XI of 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 06:03:00 +0000

Let's start the year with some positivity, right?

Wrong.

I did plan to shelve this because I thought it may be a tad late, but we're now halfway into the Border-Gavaskar series, and I'm in the perfect frame of mind to indulge in some bitterness.

Here are the worst of 2011 then, and remember, it's always debatable.

Andrew Strauss (316 runs @ 28.72, 2 fifties): Strange year for him - he had come into some pretty good form in ODIs, and was great in the World Cup, after which he quit LOIs. His form in Tests dipped, thanks to a well-publicized weakness facing anything with a left-arm. His year's high of 87 came against India, after Zaheer Khan was ruled out with injury. At 34, he won't be around long if this form continues, but we'd rather see him play on than see Alistair Cook at the helm, inevitable though it may be.

Brendon McCullum (245 runs 24.50, 2 fifties): He made big runs in the last two years, including a 225 in India and a hundred against Australia, but since the start of 2011, he managed only two fifties, both against Pakistan. And it gets worse - in his last six innings, he only has 88 runs at a shade over 14. A player like him always has a big one around the corner, though, and his next opponent is Zimbabwe.

Ramnaresh Sarwan (83 runs @ 10.37): Remember him? How bad do you have to be, that despite 11 years of experience with around 11,500 international runs at a 40+ average, a team like the West Indies, which is starved of reliable batsmen, actually drops you? A comeback doesn't look likely soon, as he hasn't played any first-class cricket since the home Tests against India, and was ignored by Guyana for the domestic T20s.

Mahela Jayawardene (517 runs @ 24.61, 1 hundred, 2 fifties): The latest entrant into the 10,000 club in both Tests and ODIs had just the one good series against Australia at home. In 18 other innings, he averaged just under 19, with a high score of 49. 2012 hasn't begun well for him, as he scored 30 and 12 against South Africa.

Jesse Ryder (97 runs @ 12.12): Very worrying return for such a talented player. Worrying for New Zealand, that is... my brows are not easily furrowed. His noteworthy innings in Tests have all come against India, Sri Lanka and the West Indies, and last year's failures were against the high-quality pace attacks of Pakistan and Australia. It won't get easier for the big man when they play South Africa in March - it will be a make or break series for him. And by that I mean it will either make him thirsty (you know) or it will break his duck. {The Cricket Nerd: incorrectly deconstructing expressions since 1764}

Ashwell Prince (178 runs @ 22.25, 1 fifty): He really should have been dropped a while ago - he only has three fifties since March 2009. Luckily for him, Duminy didn't do enough to replace him, but Rudolph's return and subsequent shift to #6 (where he scored an unbeaten 50 the other day), means that it will be tough for him to force his way back in.

Brad Haddin (335 runs @ 20.93, 2 fifties): B-Hads did his best to get himself on this list - he worked really hard all year to be recognized. Batting, keeping, throwing balled-up aluminium foil into a bin from a distance... he has messed up all of it. Sure, T-Paine was injured, but anyone could outperform him at this point.

Mitchell Johnson (13 wickets @ 56.61): This one was a no-brainer, really. The man has a whole Barmy Army rhyme dedicated to him, for Sachin's sake. I'm just really surprised that Australia stuck with him for so long, when the likes of Pattinson, Cummins and Copeland were lying around. And they miss him so much, that they bring in a likeness, Mitchell Starc? Oh, Australia. If you weren't thrashing the pants off us (not in a dirty way), I'd laugh.

"The hell? Did I just move that with my mind? Damn, I'm sexy."

Amit Mishra (7 wickets @ 61.85): Possibly the worst spinner to have played for India this decade? Keep in mind that list even includes Piyush Chawla. He looked terrible in England - he was too slow, could not contain the batsmen, and hardly looked like getting a wicket. I'd be surprised if he plays for India again. Like most Indian spinners that aren't Pragyan Ojha, he even did better with the bat. Think about that: Kumble scored a maiden hundred towards the end of his career, Harbhajan scored two, and current culprit Ashwin is making merry in the lower order.

Dilhara Fernando (7 wickets @ 57.42): Now here's a bowler that I've always wanted to put on a 'worst of' list. He's a wild card, by which I mean he has the extraordinary ability to produce more crap than a bucket of laxatives, out of which he'll occasionally produce something special. The fact that he has played 39 Tests can only be attributed to his nationality.

Shahadat Hossain (2 wickets @ 197): I was wary of putting a Bangladeshi player here, because their individual performances are generally far from spectacular, but these numbers really amazed me. I mean, this is a man who is quick and who can get the ball to move - it's not just 2 wickets in 4 Tests that annoyed me, it's the economy of 4.74! He sprays it so much, that... you know what, I don't have a joke for this. Get it together, man.

Surprise exclusions: Harbhajan Singh, Abhinav Mukund, Kemar Roach, Sreesanth. That's right, you guys were so bad you aren't even on my worst list.

Comic: Kohli uncensored

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:12:00 +0000

I know the punchline's weak, but I couldn't pass an opportunity to use that picture in the fourth frame.

There may be another one, probably worse, in the not-too-distant future.

Click to enlarge.

Australia vs India: all-consuming series preview

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:50:00 +0000

Fact: Australia haven't won a Test against India since the 6th of January, 2008. There have been 8 Tests between the two since then, of which 5 have been won by India, and the other 3 have been drawn. The first of these 8 matches marked the return of a little-know opener, Virender Sehwag, to the Indian Test side. Coincidence? I think not. But I also think that India should pick Ajit Agarkar once in a while, so you'd be better off not taking me seriously. Unless you also want Agarkar picked, in which case you must join the fan club. (Just kidding. This is the real link).

I'd pick him because he looks like he might just cry if I don't.

Anyway, I know that 6 of the last 8 Indo-Aussie Tests have been in India, and that India's immense home advantage and mid-decade rise, coupled with Australia's decline, meant that India were always favorites for those Tests.

If you compare the last team to tour there and the current one, you'll find that the batting order has improved by a great deal, simply with the addition of Gautam Gambhir at the top. There is no Ganguly, but there's the future skipper, Virat Kohli. Dravid, on that tour, was declining as a player, and was in the painful, fighting-to-score form that saw him make a 114-ball 16, but he's back to his best now. We played two spinners on that tour (which I think we should do this time too, but more on that later) - Anil Kumble, my idol, was well past his prime as a bowler, and Harbhajan Singh, my idol (haha, not really) was not far off from being past his prime. Zaheer Khan was the spearhead then, too, but the real difference was in the pace department. There was one RP Singh, who was good enough to keep Ishant Sharma on the bench. An Ishant Sharma, I might add, who would soon do to Ricky Ponting what everyone now does to Ricky Ponting (made myself laugh there). Verdict: batting is stronger, bowling weaker.

As for Australia, their openers then were a still-scoring Matthew Hayden, of whom David Warner looks a fairly similar replacement, and Phil Jaques. Remember him? Where'd he go? He averages 47 in Tests, and his last innings was a century against the West Indies. I'll just assume he beat the selectors at FIFA or something, or whatever the Aussie equivalent of a popular video game is.

"Yeah, I beat Hilditch at Didgeridoo Hero. He just wouldn't get over it. It's probably my smirk."

The middle order was the same: Ponting, Clarke, Hussey, and then an almost off-the-wagon Symonds and an almost-retired Gilchrist. Then there were Brett Lee, Stuart Clark and Brad "the Tongue" Hogg, all of whom were as good as they had ever been, and also a less shite Mitchell Johnson. Four bowlers, so obviously balance didn't mean much then either. Verdict: Bowlers now have more potential, but less experience. I'll go with stagnant. And batting, definitely a regression.

On to the main feature, then.

India

Squad: MS Dhoni (capt &wk), Virender Sehwag, Gautam Gambhir, Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, VVS Laxman, Virat Kohli, R Ashwin, Ishant Sharma, Umesh Yadav, Abhimanyu Mithun, Rohit Sharma, Pragyan Ojha, R Vinay Kumar, Ajinkya Rahane, Wriddhiman Saha, Zaheer Khan.

It always seems like there is no worry on the batting front for India. In Australia, this is how India's batsmen have fared:

Sehwag: 7 matches, 833 runs @ 59.50, 2 hundreds.
Dravid: 12 matches, 972 runs @ 48.60, 1 hundred (the 233).
Sachin: 16 matches, 1522 runs @ 58.53, 6 hundreds.
Laxman: 11 matches, 1081 runs @ 54.04, 4 hundreds.

Gambhir and Kohli have not played in Australia. It's amazes me, on seeing those stats, that we haven't won a series there. It just shows you how much better Australia have been, and that perhaps India have not batted well as a team too often. Dhoni will be a worry as always - he averages 17.62 in the 8 innings he has played in Australia, but we also know that he's a much better batsman than he was in 2008.

If Sehwag can curb his boredom, and if Sachin doesn't allow the century-monkey on his back to prevent him from playing the free, positive game we need from him, runs won't be an issue.

"Did he just say monkey? He did, didn't he? Screw you, man."

There are far too many concerns with the bowling, and I won't believe a word MSD says until I've personally seen Zaheer and Ishant bowl (interesting fact: against Australia, both have a near-identical average, strike rate and economy rate). As much as Umesh Yadav surprised me against the West Indies, I don't think three quicks should be in the XI just for the sake of it. The four best bowlers are Zaheer, Ishant, Ashwin and Ojha, and that's what the combination should be. In my ideal XI, I'd do away with the extra batsmen and go with three quicks and two spinners, because if a top 5 of that caliber doesn't score enough runs, then they don't really deserve to win.

Likely XI: Sehwag, Gambhir, Tendulkar, Dravid, Laxman, Kohli, Dhoni (c)(wk), Ashwin, Ishant, Zaheer, Ojha.

Australia

XI: David Warner, Ed Cowan, Shaun Marsh, Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke (capt), Michael Hussey, Brad Haddin (wk), Peter Siddle, James Pattinson, Nathan Lyon, Ben Hilfenhaus.

Luckily, I don't have to speculate much on this side, because the XI has already been announced. Phil Hughes, who seemed to have become quite the expert at Nick Cricket (that should be an actual game, I'd buy it), was finally given the boot after taking the ~~moronic~~ brave call to skip the BBL to focus on his game. Unfortunately, this means that he's now stuck at home watching it on the telly, since there are no other matches to play. Usman "Asian wrists" Khawaja was also left out after failing to make anything more than a good impression.

No, Mark Nicholas, these are Asian wrists.

This makes way for new-crab-on-the-block, Eddie Cowan, and the graceful (in a cricket way, not a Black Swan way) Shaun Marsh. Thanks to the IPL, David Warner and Shaun Marsh will know many a member of this Indian side, thus eliminating any advantage of surprise either side may have had in this regard. As for Ed Cowan; in 2008, the domestically prolific (more than Cowan, even) and similarly left-handed Chris Rogers, also began his career at home against India. He only scored 19 runs in that Test, and was never heard from again. Some say that he moved to Sweden and now sells hot dogs (fact: not true). Anyway , Cowan already has a hundred against us, however, so he has already distinguished himself.

The batting looks heavy, even with Ponting - never underestimate his ability to want to score against India. Cap'n Clarke looks in great touch, but Hussey will be the worry for Australia, being vulnerable to good swing, good spin, a cat on rollerskates, any kind of movement, really. Pattinson is still an unknown quantity for us, so I'd watch out for him. We tackled Siddle and Hilfenhaus with ease at home, but this is their backyard, and they will want to push us off their swing as soon as possible (I ran free with that analogy). Hilfenhaus, in particular, has that lovely outswinger that Sehwag and Sachin (and to some extent, Kohli) have been known to not just flirt with, but take out to dinner and movie. It's a fine line with Hilfy though - at his pace, slight aberrations in line and length and he will be taken apart. As for spin, I'm afraid that Nathan Lyon may be in for a whipping, and not the good kind (there is no good kind of whipping). I hope that Australia has the sense not to dump him should this whipping be administered, as was done with Hauritz - this is trial by Fiendfyre (look it up) (warning: it may not be worth it).

Official-looking prediction: 1-1. I will go for a drawn series, much to my own consternation. India's bowling doesn't look like a series-winning one, and neither does Australia's.

Comic: Harbhajan was robbed

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:17:00 +0000

I almost feel sorry for the guy.
Almost.
His luck has taken a downward spiral, but he can comfort himself by staring at his Champions' League winners' medal and thinking of the great moments he shared with Sachin.

This comic is great, if great was a synonym for stupid. I could never pass up an easy one.
Click to enlarge.

Sehwag's 219

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 20:32:00 +0000

I don't have a lot to say about the innings, because I was denied the full experience by time zonal/ examinatory/ interest-related restrictions. Relegated to watching highlights, what I got out of it (apart from the entertainment, of course) was:
(a) He was just playing straight initially, as he usually does when he goes after the bowling. His innings was made so much easier as the West Indians bowled short, wide and leg side (hey, that sorta rhymed) filth.
(b) He didn't seem to have any fitness problems during the innings, which is great for a 33-year-old batsman. lot of younger batsmen cramp up at the mere prospect of a long innings.
(c) The other batsmen combined scored at 8 an over.
(d) There are probably going to lots of "flat track bully" critics. Not a lot of 200's despite all these flat tracks, people.

And with those inconsequential mutterings out of the way, here are the highlights of the carnage that was Sehwag's innings.

Comic: Dashing hopes, literally

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:04:00 +0000

Never thought I'd have a use for this meme, but the unspectacular Abhimanyu Mithun has been picked ahead of Irfan Pathan for the Oz Tests, as Praveen Kumar's replacement.

Click to enlarge.

200 Up

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 20:09:00 +0000

Two, maybe three people may notice that something's new here. Blog's two years old, and this is the 200th post. That's an average of two posts a week, which is... adequate?

Rejected new names for the blog:

The Dipping Legbreak (too awesome)
Criception (too 2010)
Cricket Comics (too simple)
The Adventures of the Cricket Nerd (I don't have any adventures)
Super Happy Cricket Fun Times (Japanese sponsor, had to reject because payment was in Yen)
Cricket and life both suck (French sponsor)
Sachin Tendulkar (I'm not that hit-starved) (also, it already exists)

This isn't "The Adventures of Billy the Worm" anymore because I have concluded that series. The well is dry, so to speak. Here's the last one (surprise ending!) (not really). Fun fact: I drew this over 15 months ago. You must have watched a Friday the 13th movie at some point, if you haven't, it's your run-of-the-mill slasher flick.

(if you have this blog on your blogroll, please change the name!)

5 Great Shane Warne Gifs

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 22:48:00 +0000

This is a heavy page, give it some time to load. Sorry, people with slower internet!

Ball of the century

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Insights: Sachin

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 05:58:00 +0000

For what it's worth, I think he's already moved on to "what's for dinner?"

Click to enlarge.

Ishant Sharma

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 05:39:00 +0000

Currently 'leading' the attack for India.

The Barmy Army's Mitchell Johnson chant is now applicable.

Comic: South Africa vs Australia

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 18:55:00 +0000

I like to think that this is how it happened.

Click to enlarge.

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India vs England: The good, the bad, and the slightly unattractive

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:16:00 +0000

Personally, I love my metaphors on a plate.

Apparently, we have been avenged.

For me, it's only close to 30% done - because Tests do matter that much.

But I'll take the 5-0, mostly because it was fun to watch the English team constantly complain about the cold dish they were being served. (See picture above)

Anyway, here's what we learned from this series:

Even if you hate Ravindra Jadeja (which you probably do), you have to admit that he really has worked hard, and is now the ideal all-round option for India, given the lack of ~~Irfan Pathan~~ other options. He was the highest wicket-taker in the series, with 11, and an average of 17. With the bat, he averaged 37 from 3 innings with a good lower-order strike-rate of 110. He isn't going to single-handedly win you one in fifteen games like Yusuf Pathan, but he's pretty steady. For now.
Ashwin, unlike Harbhajan, takes wickets. One Challenger Trophy won't save you, Bhaj.
Selection is still weird. Why on earth would you have Rahane open, when there's no way he can bat in the top 3 in a full-strength XI? He did well enough, but from his innings of 91, he looks like a much better middle-order batsman to me.
Take Vinay Kumar's 4-30 away, and in the four other games he gave away 150 runs in 24 overs, taking just 2 wickets. Really shouldn't be a regular in the side.
Umesh Yadav was erratic too, but his pace was clearly an asset at several points in the series. I'd keep him around. And what a great debut for Varun Aaron!
The world's #1 spinner fails at the home of spin? What's that about? Swann took only 2 wickets at 95.5, conceding 5.3 rpo.
It's all #trottsfault, for scoring 202 runs at 50.5, at a strike rate a shade under 80.
Virat Kohli (270 runs @90) doesn't know what ugly batting is. Dhoni (212 runs, not dismissed), on the other hand, knows it better than anyone else, and excels at it.
Parthiv Patel had a rare bad series since his comeback, but no one cares since he's just a stop-gap opener, like Dinesh Karthik before him. This can't happen to Rahane, which, again, is why he should be in the middle-order. Unless someone retires from ODIs soon.
Do English fans feel the same way about Dernbach as I do about Vinay Kumar?

Took me five minutes just to decide whether to put the comma after "bitch".

Series against Windies coming soon, I'll be back.

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The grudge series

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 21:46:00 +0000

This is probably a day late, but what the hell. MS wants that revenge.

Click to enlarge.

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The Mumbai Indians win the CLT20: stats and other stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:26:00 +0000

For the first time in the T20 Champions League's rich, three-year-old history, a team that didn't win its domestic competition has been crowned the champion of champions. Just in case you doubt the accuracy of that fact, I've compiled a list of all the winners. Please take your time to go through it, however long and tedious it may seem.

Year	CLT20 Champions	Domestic Champions
2009	New South Wales	Yes
2010	Chennai Super Kings	Yes
2011	Mumbai Indians	No

Source: Brain

Sarcasm aside, this is actually a half-decent achievement for the Indians (Mumbai Indians, that is... I will never get over how stupid a name that is for the franchise). I would have taken any sort of win after, you know, that series. A pretty exciting CLT20 was exactly the sort of thing most Indian (Team India, not Mumbai) fans needed after being battered in Tests and ODIs. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it was... actually, I'm not going to say it at all, I'll have someone do it for me.

Thanks, Cliche Correspondent Ravi Shastri.

Nope, not until you've perfected faking laryngitis. (terrible execution of dark humor here)

Anyway, it was a good tournament, mostly because I only tuned in towards the latter stages - my first game was RCB's record chase. It's quite the underdog story for Mumbai, actually, once all the talk about flouting the rules or whatever has been extinguished. No, Somerset, you weren't the underdogs, because you really should have been the favorites to beat Mumbai. I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but you've gotta accept that, despite having a well settled team, you really did lose to an IPL side missing half its regular XI.

The India-England ODI's are a few days away, which is another post for another day. I'll leave you with some stats relating to Mumbai's CLT20 performance.

Mumbai took the idea of T20 being a batsman's game, and bitchslapped it into unconsciousness. Their highest run scorer was Kieron Pollard, who scored 123 runs at 20.5, just over one-third the number of runs scored by David Warner, the top-scorer (328).
Pollard also scored one of Mumbai's two fifties, the other one coming from Aiden Blizzard.
Among those who actually made runs, Lasith Malinga had the second-highest strike rate (183.78) in the CLT20, with the highest being Kevon Cooper's 191.17.
Lasith Malinga made exactly as many runs (68) as Yusuf Pathan and Suresh Raina, in the same number of innings.
Mumbai's bowling stats, on the other hand, are pretty impressive. Malinga (10) and Abu Nechim Ahmed (8) are both among the top five wicket takers, and Harbhajan (7) sits just outside that.
In that top five wicket takers' list, though, Malinga (20) and Ahmed (17.4) are the only ones not to bowl 24 overs.
This has nothing to do with Mumbai, but Trinidad's spin duo of Badree and Narine have a combined economy rate of 4.46 rpo in the 48 overs they bowled. Wow.

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It's Over.

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 18:00:00 +0000

Wow, he changes really quick.

Click to enlarge. Or if that doesn't work, right click and select 'open image in new tab'.

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The Review

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:33:00 +0000

And we get two of these? Nice!

Click to enlarge.

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England vs India: Player Ratings for the series (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 20:41:00 +0000

England's side of the ratings, which were a lot easier to do. If only I could rate them by the quality of their tweets.

9.5 - Stuart Broad (182 runs @60.66 and 25 wickets @13.84): Close to being dropped. Fuller lengths. Vital lower-order runs. Near-perfect series. Next Botham. Yawn, you know the whole story because everyone's already harped about it. It's a fairy tale all right, and Stuey is the princess.

"Did you take my glass slipper, mate?"

9.0 - Kevin Pietersen (533 runs @106.6): Found his best form almost immediately, capitalising on Zaheer's absence in the first Test to score a double hundred. He was pretty much unstoppable from that point on, notching up another hundred and a couple more fifties.

"He attacked me, took his mojo back, and then took mine too..."

8.5 - Ian Bell (504 runs @84): Batted beautifully all series (even during his solitary duck), and looked more deserving of the Zaltzman-coined nickname "Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice" than "the Sherminator". His best innings came at #3, but he's no slouch at #5 either, and his Test average is now almost 50 (who'da thunk it). Points off for lack of brain cells - you know what I'm talking about.

8.5 - Tim Bresnan (154 runs @77 and 16 wickets @16.31): It took an injury to Chris Tremlett for him to even get into the side, and he grabbed the chance with the strength of a man who knows his way around a plate of fish and chips (what?). And why doesn't he have an American Pie-inspired nickname like Belly does? It seems more appropriate.

8.5 - James Anderson (21 wickets @25.71): Bowled well enough to get other people to call him the best quick in the world, conveniently making them forget Dale Steyn in the process. The phrase "has the ball on a string" was used plenty of times, planting in my head images of him bowling with a yo-yo. Either way, he troubled every batsman except probably Praveen Kumar, who has no knowledge of the concept, or any concepts, when he bats.

The first search result for James Anderson in Google Images.

8.0 - Matt Prior (271 runs @67.75): Did almost nothing wrong in the series - great keeping, quick scoring (SR of 85), and is now regarded as the best keeper-batsman in the world. That is, in Tests - there are somewhere between 3 and 7.2 million keeper-batsmen in England's limited-overs teams. They have come a long way since Geraint Jones and Chris Read.

6.5 - Chris Tremlett (4 wickets @31): Bowled well enough in his only game to take 4 wickets, but his injury was probably a good thing for England. It's going to be tough for him to get back into the side, with his limited batting abilities.

5.0 - Graeme Swann (13 wickets @40.69): It was turning out to be a horrific series for him - the #1 spinner had been the weak link in England's attack for the first three Tests. Even after his match-winning nine-wicket haul, those aren't great numbers, which should give you a fair idea of how bad he was initially. If I was a bad comic, I'd even say that he was "the ugly duckling" for three games before he became Swann. Thankfully, I'm not.

5.0 - Alistair Cook (348 runs @58): Very ordinary series for Cook, especially after his Ashes purple patch. Praveen Kumar and Ishant had him hopping around for most of the series, with just the one monumental 294 to prop him up. Sort of like a kid who spends all his money on one eyeliner.

5.0 - Ravi Bopara (51 runs @51): Barely got a chance to show everyone what he's all about. He could be getting Morgan's spot soon, though.

4.5 - Eoin Morgan (194 runs @32.33): Just doesn't look like a Test batsman. Managed a hundred and a fifty, to his credit, but better bowling attacks (and any other spinners, really) will have his number. But if Raina can play Tests, why not this guy?

4.0 - Andrew Strauss (229 runs @38.16): Waning powers and all. Looked willing (amidst great discomfort) to battle it out to stick around, but needed more runs, especially considering the firepower that lay in the middle order. When you're in trouble against Sreesanth, you know you're in a rut.

4.0 - Jonathan Trott (98 runs @24.5): Decent 70 to start off the series, followed by injury and withdrawal. Sometimes a summary of events is enough.

Note: Wrote this a week ago, forgot to publish it somehow. Busy, busy week.

England vs India: Player ratings for the series (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 10:25:00 +0000

So, it's over. The series, the #1 ranking, and the bubble of unquestionable success that enveloped India after the World Cup win.

It's just one bad series, India may just continue to win from this point, but this still happened. Their best performances with the bat all series came in the final two innings, but were still nowhere near enough what was needed to even save the game.

There will be some sort of official review by the BCCI, and maybe it will reveal that they are coneheads, maybe it won't.

Srikkanth looked quite effeminate before the beard.

Speaking of reviews (because I like good transitions, unlike Indian cricket), here's my bit. No haggling on these marks (out of 10).

India

10 - Praveen Kumar (15 wickets @29.53): Performed exactly how we expected him to perform - whole-heartedly. Light on pace, he made up for it with magnanimous swing and superb control in conditions that suited him perfectly. He bowled 158 overs, second to Ishant only because he missed the final Test after bowling himself into the ground. He also scored 110 entertaining runs with a strike rate of 105, including an unforgettable 40 off 18 balls.

"Lemme at 'em!" - Praveen Kumar

9.0 - Rahul Dravid (461 runs @76.83): The Wall was as Wall-ish as he had ever been, carrying his re-discovered form over from the West Indian tour. He was India's rescue team in every game, and would have scored even more if not for a couple of dubious decisions, and if someone had stuck around with him. I can't believe people wanted him to retire just a few months ago - he still has the most interesting defense in the world. I cut a whole mark for terrible catching.

"No. I won't go back in. I want to bat some more."

6.5 - Ishant Sharma (11 wickets @58.18): This guy, who turns 23 in 10 days, was forced to co-lead a three-man attack twice in two Tests, and sort of in the other Tests too, when Mishra was as effective as a solar-powered torch. There were some menacing spells in the 173 overs he bowled, but these were often separated by some listless periods of spraying it around. He's getting better though, and missing the ODIs is the best thing for him right now.

5.5 - Sachin Tendulkar (273 runs @34.12): Just a couple of fifties in 8 innings, and a very below-par series for the man, despite not looking as uncomfortable as some of his teammates. Could have saved the last Test and got himself that century of centuries, but neither was meant to be, despite it looking that way when luck was going his way. I'm now doubting that he'll ever score that hundred, stuck on 99 for eternity with that one Bradmanesque flaw. Man, that was poetic.

5.0 - Yuvraj Singh (70 runs @35): Middling marks for him, because he played just the one Test, which portrayed both his weaknesses and strengths. He was pretty lucky to get that one fifty, too.

5.0 - Zaheer Khan (2 wickets @9): Had the ball on a string in that first session at Lord's. His subsequent injury ensured that all hell broke loose as far as India's bowling was concerned. Needs body parts like Iron Man, and must walk around in a Hazmat suit until it's safe for India to play without him.

4.0 - MS Dhoni (220 runs @31.41): His first series defeat as captain, and he has really been defeated. Things didn't go his way one bit, his keeping, while good enough in the subcontinent, was shown up, and so was his batting technique. He's got to attack when he bats, even if it leads to a dismissal, because it's quite simply the only way he can bat. It's not the same question of responsible batting that crops up with Sehwag - MS clearly must bat this way, at least in Tests. Also, what's with the 'no third man' field?

3.5 - Sreesanth (8 wickets @61.62): Started so well with those three wickets before he started getting whipped. His lovely outswinger was present, but it failed to trouble batsmen who were in the form of their lives. Bowled 111 overs in three matches, and looked flat for around 90 of those. Time to give other bowlers a go, because this guy's going nowhere.

Now it's OK to cry.

3.5 - VVS Laxman (182 runs @22.75): Very very disappointing, to say the least. He was successfully targeted with the short ball, but was also unlucky to be at the receiving end of some unplayable deliveries. Like Bell, he is a natural #3 who got to bat at that position due to injuries to others. Unlike Bell, he didn't make the most of it. I'm pretty sure that he made the least of it, if that phrase ever catches on. How much longer is he going to play Tests - no one ever talks about this.

3.5 - Gautam Gambhir (102 runs @17): He gets all these marks just for the cojones to bat injured, concussed or in a coma or whatever bad luck befell him at that point. Played loose shots after getting starts when he was fit. Screw KKR, man - you need to be fit for Australia.

2.5 - Suresh Raina (105 runs @13.12): If you take away the 78 he scored at Lord's, he made only 27 runs in the other 7 innings. Problems with the short ball, problems with spin... he was useful in one department though. He took 4 wickets, more than either Harby or Mishra. Maybe let him cook until well done in county cricket or something, with Pujara, Kohli and Rohit lurking.

2.0 - Abhinav Mukund (64 runs @16): Considering that the West Indian bowlers had him hopping around, his out-of-depth batting and failure in England comes as a surprise only to optimistic blind people. He can either tighten his game or remain a domestic bully.

"What? Mukund failed? What's a Mukund?"

2.0 - RP Singh (wicketless): Fitting, because this is RP 2.0, if upgrade actually meant severe downgrade. He won't be happy about being plucked from Miami or wherever he was. We weren't happy either. None of that great movement from four years ago, no pace - just a little control that didn't mean much because he got tonked anyway.

1.5 - Amit Mishra (3 wickets @106.67): Marks just for that superb innings that drew everyone into watching the game, only to get out leaving us to witness a horrific collapse. Thanks a lot. I wouldn't pick him in Tests ever again, not with Ojha around.

1.0 - Virender Sehwag (41 runs @10.25): Played when he was still unfit and bagged a historic king pair. It's just one bad series for him, there's no need to panic, but will he ever be fit enough again?

0.0 - Harbhajan Singh (2 wickets at 143.5): New low for him. No words for how utterly useless he was. In retrospect, "no words for how utterly useless he was" were actually words for how utterly useless he was. Right, I'm done.

Coming up, part 2, featuring England.

That's not funny, MS

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 10:07:00 +0000

Not much to say at this point.
Except, click to enlarge.

England vs India: Halfway series review

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 07:59:00 +0000

It would be the understatement of understatements to say that the series has been full of action so far, but that doesn't stop anyone from saying it either way.

Such competitive pitches... it could have been so much more than the one-sided whipping it has turned out to be. The first session at Lord's is proof of that. And then, like Dhoni said, everything that could go wrong, did.

The tour began without Sehwag; Zaheer, Gambhir, Sachin, Yuvraj and Harbhajan filled up the sick room pretty quickly, igniting my suspicion that the physio gives them a complimentary paratha or something after each visit.

I reserve high praise for Praveen Kumar and Ishant Sharma, both of whom have bowled way too many overs than advisable. Ishant has put in 105.2 overs, still fewer than PK, who at 118.3, has bowled around twice as many overs as Harbhajan Singh. More praise, of course, for Dravid, who has scored more than twice as many runs as any other Indian batsman on this tour.

Sachin and Laxman have looked at ease without pushing on; Mukund has, as predicted, been a walking wicket - his initial struggle in the West Indies was a flashing neon sign indicating the same. Yuvraj and Raina have contributed ultimately inconsequential half-centuries. And to round up, Dhoni is having a horror series - he has done absolutely nothing right, in any department of the game. If Sachin and Warne get the fairytale scripts, Dhoni's got this tour's story from Wes Craven (Wiki it).

England, meanwhile, haven't been perfect (but very close to it). Cook and Strauss haven't got going, and Swann has been carted around in his half-fit state. They've been on the back foot one or two times, but they haven't allowed themselves to be backed into a corner - they've counter-attacked with aplomb. Mr. Anderson, Broad Jr. and Bresnan have all got a five-for to their name.

India's second practice game didn't really help them in any way. Gambhir, Sehwag, Raina and Dhoni didn't get the runs, Mukund (who isn't expected to play the third Test) hit a quick hundred. Zaheer Khan, for yet unknown reasons, bowled only three overs. Mishra, the second spinner in the squad, was expensive again, just like in the first practice game. So, don't expect any comebacks, Sehwag or no Sehwag. The two batsmen who can win a Test are the fit and in-form ones - Dravid, Sachin and Laxman. And Ojha must play.

Preferred XI: Sehwag, Gambhir, Dravid, Sachin, Laxman, Kohli, Dhoni, PK, Ishant, Ojha, Sreesanth.
Probable XI: Same, but with Raina and Mishra.

Possibility of India remaining #1 after the next two Tests: see image.

The Trent Bridge gym leader's weakness

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 07:12:00 +0000

The 2nd Test starts tomorrow at Trent Bridge. Zaheer's fitness is crucial. If only it were this simple.

To infinity... and back. Abruptly.

noreply@blogger.com (Rishabh) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 13:05:00 +0000

Q: How dumb is this?
A1) On a scale of 1-10, it's a 14.
A2) It isn't. It's brilliant.
A3) You should have your photoediting software taken away.

I stopped reviewing the first match of any Test series a long time ago.

The fact that India lost elicits this response: