How do you know if the life you’re living is authentically yours or not? Good question, and one that I think is worth taking some time to explore. After all, you only live once, and don’t you want to live your life instead of living someone else’s version of it?

I have spent a huge chunk of my life, since I was a teenager I suppose, trying take my life for myself and make [...]]]>

How do you know if the life you’re living is authentically yours or not? Good question, and one that I think is worth taking some time to explore. After all, you only live once, and don’t you want to live your life instead of living someone else’s version of it?

I have spent a huge chunk of my life, since I was a teenager I suppose, trying take my life for myself and make it truly mine. It has not been an overnight process for sure, so I’ve had to gauge my progress all along the way.

Anyway, I wrote out 24 ways to determine if the life your living is really yours. It was easily the length of four blog posts when I finished, so I decided to split it into four parts.

Here are the second six. Click here to read the first six. Some of them may seem silly or easy, but I promise you they’re not silly or easy to everyone. And until you can claim all 24, I think it’s safe to say that there are still parts of your life that aren’t really yours.

I personally love living a life that is mine and no one else’s. It lets me give a huge and genuine part of my life to others, and it lets me make so many more of the right calls for me and my son.

Oh, and I know it probably sounds like the “my cure for it” sections are meant to be a joke, but I’m dead serious. Try them and see if I’m not right

Continue reading: 24 Ways to Determine if Your Life is Really Yours – Part 2 of 4

It’s just another reason to love people.

I used to work at a movie theater and every Sunday morning, these two gentlemen would always come in and watch a movie, one man was deaf, the other blind.

Anyway, one Sunday morning, the gentlemen asked me to watch their popcorn and drinks [...]]]> Was sent this short and {awesome} little feel-good story from Danielle.

It’s just another reason to love people.

I used to work at a movie theater and every Sunday morning, these two gentlemen would always come in and watch a movie, one man was deaf, the other blind.

Anyway, one Sunday morning, the gentlemen asked me to watch their popcorn and drinks so they could use the restroom. One came out while the other was still in there and we started talking. He told me how they had actually met at that theatre when the blind man accidentally walked into the deaf man. Ever since that day, they went to the theatre every week and would explain to each other what was going on in the movie

Continue reading: Why I LOVE People: The Blind Man & the Deaf Man

I was reading about fears in Men’s Health Magazine the other day, and they were talking about the most common fears people have and how you can get over them. Fear of spiders and snakes, for example. Heights. Needles. You get the picture.

Then it listed a few of the more strange fears that people experience. Fear of foreplay, fear of hearing good news, you get the idea.

Sadly, next to [...]]]>

I was reading about fears in Men’s Health Magazine the other day, and they were talking about the most common fears people have and how you can get over them. Fear of spiders and snakes, for example. Heights. Needles. You get the picture.

Then it listed a few of the more strange fears that people experience. Fear of foreplay, fear of hearing good news, you get the idea.

Sadly, next to those fears, they listed no advice for overcoming them or words of reason, so I decided to make my own list of strange fears and to be real with you all about it…

Oh, and sadly we live in a society where I have to say this: In no way am I being serious in ANYTHING that I share below. Except the first one, Blennophobia.

Well, he worked for Adobe, and as I was driving this past weekend past their big building, I saw this billboard on the freeway.

Adobe has my respect for that, and I think when big companies do such incredible personal things without asking anything in return (they didn’t even put their name on it), they deserve [...]]]> Last week I told you that Brian, a guy I knew, had died in a motorcycle accident.

Well, he worked for Adobe, and as I was driving this past weekend past their big building, I saw this billboard on the freeway.

Adobe has my respect for that, and I think when big companies do such incredible personal things without asking anything in return (they didn’t even put their name on it), they deserve a little shout-out. That’s all.

May all big businesses, and the people who run them, be so thoughtful.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

FOLLOW-UP 06-18-20013: Apparently it wasn’t Adobe that did the billboard. Here is a message I received from a friend who also works at Adobe.

Say, I didn’t know you knew brian. he was one of my colleagues here at Adobe – I personally didn’t get to know him, but there are a lot of friends here that did. Just a friendly clarification, Adobe was not the one who posted the billboard – it was actually Josh James, CEO of Domo. Josh was the former CEO of Omniture, and knew Brian very well before Adobe acquired Omniture. Here’s the original tweet:https://twitter.com/joshjames/statuses/345596248105050112.

Now, I would like you to take a nice long look at two people in this photo. First… me

Continue reading: The Farmer’s Daughter & the Age that Divides Us

Earlier this week, a guy my age that I knew died.

He was in a motorcycle accident, wasn’t wearing his helmet, hit his head, and after being in a coma for several days he very sadly passed on.

His funeral is tomorrow. It is the 27th funeral for someone I personally have known that was my age or younger. I’m only 33 and I’ve been feeling the sting of death following me for [...]]]>

Earlier this week, a guy my age that I knew died.

He was in a motorcycle accident, wasn’t wearing his helmet, hit his head, and after being in a coma for several days he very sadly passed on.

His funeral is tomorrow. It is the 27^th funeral for someone I personally have known that was my age or younger. I’m only 33 and I’ve been feeling the sting of death following me for two decades now.

I have had many friends die in car accidents. I have had friends drown in flash floods. I have had friends overdose on drugs or commit suicide. I have lost friends to cancer and sickness. Two of my friends (brothers) drowned while scuba diving in a canal pipe. One friend fell off a cliff while hiking. I’ve so sadly been to the funerals of children and of babies. I was holding my own little sister’s head in my hands as she took her final breaths.

Mortality. We are all forced to think about it from time to time, aren’t we? The death of someone I know this week certainly has made me think twice about getting back on my brand new Harley, the motorcycle that before this week I was so thrilled about finally having. I’m sure it will pass. After all, I still drive my car, I still hike, and I still swim even though I’ve lost people through those means as well.

But why have I personally known so many young people to tragically lose their lives? Is it because death follows me? God, I hope not.

Death has come for me personally three times in the past two years, all the stories of which I’ve shared on this blog. Hell, it’s been coming for me my entire life. At the age of three, I was electrocuted once and not much later I was almost killed by a car. Yet, somehow then and now, I have always managed to escape it.

But the truth is, I could die tomorrow. I could die today. This could be the last blog post you ever see from me, and that is true every single day with every word I type. There is no guarantee that I will get to be there when my son grows up, graduates, finds love, has kids, and becomes a man. There is no guarantee that I will make it to all the camping trips and fun vacations I have planned with my son and with my girlfriend. I might not ever make it back to Sunday dinner to see my family.

God, I hope I do. But there are no guarantees, are there.  In fact, death is the only guarantee

Continue reading: Death & Its Only Guarantee

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to [...]]]>

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every Thursday I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

How do you know if the life you’re living is authentically yours or not? Good question, and one that I think is worth taking some time to explore. After all, you only live once, and don’t you want to live your life instead of living someone else’s version of it?

I have spent a huge chunk of my life, since I was a teenager I suppose, trying take my life for myself and make [...]]]>

How do you know if the life you’re living is authentically yours or not? Good question, and one that I think is worth taking some time to explore. After all, you only live once, and don’t you want to live your life instead of living someone else’s version of it?

I have spent a huge chunk of my life, since I was a teenager I suppose, trying take my life for myself and make it truly mine. It has not been an overnight process for sure, so I’ve had to gauge my progress all along the way.

Anyway, I wrote out 24 ways to determine if the life your living is really yours. It was easily the length of four blog posts when I finished, so I decided to split it into four parts.

Here are the first six, I’ll try to do one each week. Some of them may seem silly or easy, but I promise you they’re not to everyone. And until you can claim all 24, I think there are still parts of your life that aren’t really yours.

I love living a life that is mine and no one else’s. It lets me give a huge and genuine part of my life to others, and it lets me make so many more of the right calls for me and my son.

Oh, and I know it probably sounds like the “my cure for it” sections are meant to be a joke, but I’m dead serious. Try them and see if I’m not right.

1. When you want to dance…
When you’re at a party, or a concert, or a sports game, or sitting in your car, or walking down the road, or in a supermarket, and you hear that music that makes you wanna start bouncing and swaying and moving, do you dance? Or do you not dance so that others won’t be able to judge you for it?

Until the day you can dance wherever you feel like busting a move (any move, even a suburban white-boy move), and be able to say “who cares who’s watching!” you’re living a life that isn’t actually yours.

My cure for those who can’t dance: Next time you pull up next to another car at an intersection, look the other driver dead in the eyes, and start doing the fishing reel dance move. Cast out your line. Reel them in. See if you can get them to do it with you, and tell yourself the entire time… I will never see this person again so who cares what they think. And remember. Dancing isn’t about being the best dancer. It’s about moving to the music, and when you do that, there is no bad dancing.

2. When you want to speak up…
When you’re sitting in a class, or you’re sitting among friends who are all enthusiastically discussing something, or you’re sitting in a jury room, or you’re sitting in church, or wherever you’re sitting, and you have something to add or say, do you say it? Or do you keep your mouth shut so that others won’t be able to judge you for it?

Until the day you can say whatever comes to your mind, no matter what comes to your mind, no matter what anyone else thinks about it, you’re living a life that isn’t actually yours.

My cure for those who can’t speak up: Next time you’re sitting in a group environment, raise your hand until the group leader (official or implied) calls on you, even if it’s the kind of thing where no one is raising their hands. Then, bock like a chicken. When everyone is trying to decide whether to laugh or not, say, “I find it easier to bock like a chicken than to say what I want to say.” I promise you, this will lead the conversation into amazing places and you’ll realize that even at your silliest people think you’re awesome just for speaking up.

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They [...]]]>

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They believe the “natural man” is good-hearted, kind, generous, honest person who may slip often but will do good as often as possible without the need for guilt, self-aggrandizement, or selfish purpose. Watch the news every day. There isn’t much proof that these people exist.

But they do, even though their acts and lives aren’t always “newsworthy.” And they really are everywhere if we’ll just look up from our own lives now and then to see the good that others are often up to.

In the middle of a really crappy, self-absorbed day a few weeks ago, I asked you all over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook page what the nicest thing was you’d ever seen a stranger do for someone else.

These were your {beautiful} replies. They really flipped my bad day right-side up again

Continue reading: Because. People Really Are Good. Part II.

And, as I perused my somewhat secret “fat album” on Facebook, I decided… meh. Why not share them on the blog.

These are from a time I was fatter. And blonder. And balder. And harrier. And still just as awesome as I am (or am not) [...]]]> Well, I finally pulled a couple of these out so I could show the Farmer’s Daughter the man I once was. Thankfully she just laughed and loved me more.

And, as I perused my somewhat secret “fat album” on Facebook, I decided… meh. Why not share them on the blog.

These are from a time I was fatter. And blonder. And balder. And harrier. And still just as awesome as I am (or am not) now. Haha.

Continue reading: Once Upon a Time, I Was a Wee Bit Fatter

Of course, the responses to that post were extremely varied. Some people said nice things [...]]]> Earlier this afternoon, I published a blog post called Finding Out a Friend Was Never a Friend at All. In that (short) post, I shared a (short) text exchange between me and a woman, who I once thought was a friend, who quickly began being horrible and vindictive when I wouldn’t freely use my platform to push hers.

Of course, the responses to that post were extremely varied. Some people said nice things about me. Some people said horrible things about her. Some people said chastising things about me. Some people started arguing with each other. I lost a couple hundred readers.

The (large) debate that ensued was exactly what I expected, if I’m being honest. And, just like I expected, it made me question whether it was the right move to share what I shared.

But, you see, I didn’t just throw that up on the blog the second it happened. That conversation happened a week ago (as you’ll see by the time stamps), and for the past seven days, I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to share it or not.

Eventually, I decided I wanted to share it for three reasons

Continue reading: Follow Up to “A Friend Was Never a Friend At All”

Oh, the joys of being a blogger.

Of course, this was the same friend who months before congratulated me for being gay, and when I told her I wasn’t gay, I was bisexual, she had more than a hard time believing that I wasn’t some overly sexual non-committed fence-sitter in the sexual orientation game

Continue reading: Finding [...]]]> So, last week I found out a friend, unfortunately, was never really a friend at all.

Oh, the joys of being a blogger.

Of course, this was the same friend who months before congratulated me for being gay, and when I told her I wasn’t gay, I was bisexual, she had more than a hard time believing that I wasn’t some overly sexual non-committed fence-sitter in the sexual orientation game

Continue reading: Finding Out a Friend Was Never a Friend at All

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2013/06/finding-out-a-friend-was-never-a-friend-at-all.html/feed 1397 http://www.danoah.com/2013/06/finding-out-a-friend-was-never-a-friend-at-all.html

What I am about to say will probably be one of the most debated statements I’ve ever publicly made, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Good dads fart on their kids.

They just don’t fart at them, or toward them, or around them. No, they grab their squealing kids, wrap one leg around them, pin them down, and let it rip.

Actually, let me rephrase.

Good dads fart on their boys.

I [...]]]>

What I am about to say will probably be one of the most debated statements I’ve ever publicly made, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Good dads fart on their kids.

They just don’t fart at them, or toward them, or around them. No, they grab their squealing kids, wrap one leg around them, pin them down, and let it rip.

Actually, let me rephrase.

Good dads fart on their boys.

I can’t imagine any little princess of mine would ever be put into any such predicament with my bazooka aimed at her, but then again, I did it to my sisters growing up, and they did it to me, so you never know.

But, yeah. Good dads fart on their boys, the same way brothers do to each other both growing up and long into their twenties and thirties. If my brother and I ever stop, I’ll let you know.

It’s a brotherhood thing. It’s a camaraderie thing. It’s a bonding thing.

Womenfolk, I don’t expect you to understand, so just take me at my word for it.

When you fart into your hand, release it into your brother’s face, and yell “cup of cheese!” as loud as you can… that’s the stuff that brings you closer together.

When you sneak up to your sleeping brother and let a hot one waft right in his face… that’s love.

When you snatch your brother’s baseball cap off his head, blow a hot one inside and quickly replace it… that’s just awesome. And it’s called a Brown Topper by the way.

But for any of that to actually be awesome, you have to be willing to take it as often as you give it. You can’t get mad when you’re lying by the pool and a loud pfffttt is aimed your way while the perpetrator runs by laughing. You’ve gotta laugh too. And you’ve gotta laugh when it happens in the elevator, and in the lunchroom, and in the back back seat of Mom and Dad’s Station Wagon.

You laugh because you know you’ll have your revenge.

That is brothers for you. Er, at least that is me and my brothers. It’s our code and our law.

But as a dad, I’ve had years and years of unreturned flatulent attacks on my kid. He has always laughed hysterically when I did it and never thought to return the favor. He was never mad or upset about it. He always thought it was great fun.

It was like a giant, never-ending free pass for me to continue my lifelong brotherly fun with my own kid, but without ever having it dished back to me.

Until, that is, last week when I was lying face down on the carpet in the middle of a wrestle with Noah, and he suddenly sprinted over to me, sat on my face, and let the biggest fart you could ever imagine rip right then and there.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

The Truth Box is back, and this week it’s all about parenting again. We had two new questions in place of the usual ones.

In a brand new questionnaire, I asked you all to anonymously share an embarrassing parenting secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “The embarrassing thing [...]]]>

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

The Truth Box is back, and this week it’s all about parenting again. We had two new questions in place of the usual ones.

In a brand new questionnaire, I asked you all to anonymously share an embarrassing parenting secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “The embarrassing thing I did as a parent,” and “why I’ve never told anyone.” Lots of parenting secrets were shared. I will begin swapping out some of the usual Truth Box Thursday posts with these ones. Here they are… Completely random and exactly as they came in.

As a side note, these truths aren’t really meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles. Including, and sometimes especially, as parents.

In the first parenting edition, things got a little heated and even ugly. There was lots of good stuff happening too. It led to a follow-up post (The Human Parent: An Overdue Rant), and I would encourage you to read it before leaving any harsh criticism below. Harsh criticsm is not what this is about.

Did you know I have apparently been destroying families since 2010?

It’s true. After all, a few people have very blatantly told me that now. Most let me know by email. One woman went on a long diatribe after one of my posts. She started out with the line, “Single Dad Laughing: promoting the destruction [...]]]> This post has been recorded as a podcast. I’d suggest listening while you read this one.

Did you know I have apparently been destroying families since 2010?

It’s true. After all, a few people have very blatantly told me that now. Most let me know by email. One woman went on a long diatribe after one of my posts. She started out with the line, “Single Dad Laughing: promoting the destruction of marriage and the nuclear family since 2010.”

It was in the comments of my post “Tiny Fist in the Wind.” In fact, the whole comment was a wondrous doozy, so maybe you should just read it (click to enlarge):

To be honest, I laughed when I read it. And I’ve had it on my to-do list to write a letter back. So here goes. On the next page.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

Well, the week before last, the Farmer’s Daughter was over at my place, and we were looking at the poor thing.

I should also mention that we had just downed a somewhat large bottle of wine [...]]]> Remember how on Monday I shared that blog post about my chair getting leprosy (which not a lot of people read because, let’s be honest… how do you make someone want to click a link about a chair)?

Well, the week before last, the Farmer’s Daughter was over at my place, and we were looking at the poor thing.

I should also mention that we had just downed a somewhat large bottle of wine to celebrate my birthday, and we were both a leeeeeetle bit tipsy.

Anyway, this was the biggest of all the monstrosities, and when she saw it, the Farmer’s Daughter chimed out, “it looks like South America!”

I should remind you again that we were both a leeeeeeetle bit tipsy.

Okay, we were a lot tipsy

Continue reading: The “That Ain’t South America” Name That Spot Contest

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They [...]]]>

It’s so interesting to me that so many people believe human beings are inherently bad. They believe the “natural man” is a lying, thieving, conniving, greedy schmuck who will only do good when inspired by external forces or when it is for his own good. Watch the news every day. There is never-ending “proof” that this just might be the case.

Others believe (and I am in this camp) that human beings are inherently good. They believe the “natural man” is good-hearted, kind, generous, honest person who may slip often but will do good as often as possible without the need for guilt, self-aggrandizement, or selfish purpose. Watch the news every day. There isn’t much proof that these people exist.

But they do, even though their acts and lives aren’t always “newsworthy.” And they really are everywhere if we’ll just look up from our own lives now and then to see the good that others are often up to.

In the middle of a really crappy, self-absorbed day last week, I asked you all over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook page what the nicest thing was you’d ever seen a stranger do for someone else.

These were your {beautiful} replies. They really flipped my bad day right-side up again

Continue reading: Because. People Really Are Good.

The only problem is, this is what many of you saw…

When this is what I actually posted…

Continue reading: Is the Farmer’s Daughter Pregnant?!

It’s been a really good chair. I’ve had it for at least seven years. Maybe eight.

It’s done its job like a good chair should and it has never complained, even when I wasn’t the best companion to it (such as yesterday when I had a particularly potent bean burrito for lunch). It hasn’t squeaked. It hasn’t wobbled. It has definitely served its purpose.

And then, about two months ago, [...]]]> Meet… my chair.

It’s been a really good chair. I’ve had it for at least seven years. Maybe eight.

It’s done its job like a good chair should and it has never complained, even when I wasn’t the best companion to it (such as yesterday when I had a particularly potent bean burrito for lunch). It hasn’t squeaked. It hasn’t wobbled. It has definitely served its purpose.

And then, about two months ago, its upholstery just started flaking off as if it had contracted some strange flesh eating bacteria. A little at first, and then in big chunks. Within days the arms started flaking, the seat started flaking, the head rest started flaking. At first it didn’t bother me, but eventually there were gaping wounds all over the chair and black pieces of vinyl all over the floor.

It was time to get a new one.

Now, that desk you see in the photo above? That’s a big wrap-around workstation desk. It goes for another three feet or so to the right.

When I ordered my new computer, I promised Noah he could have my old one. I think it’s important for young kids to learn computers, especially in this day and age. We talked for weeks before my computer got here about all the things he could do on it. We were going to put it in his bedroom on his own desk. The more we talked about it the more excited he got.

Then, the big day came when my new computer arrived. Noah stood over my shoulder as I unpacked it and he waited with baited breath while I transferred all the data over. Eventually I was ready to swap them out, and I asked him if he was ready.

“YES!” he screamed with so much enthusiasm, and then suddenly he went quiet. His face drooped ever so slightly as some new thought wiggled its way into his thinking.

“What’s the matter?” I asked

Continue reading: Way More than Just a Chair

I have been so very blessed of late. I have had tremendous opportunities come my way. I have had really awesome readership growth. I have had excellent blog traffic. And, I have both an awesome kid and the Farmer’s Daughter by my side…

And yeah, I have my ups and downs, and I have my drama with family and friends from time to time, and there are bumps in the [...]]]> Dear friends and readers,

I have been so very blessed of late. I have had tremendous opportunities come my way. I have had really awesome readership growth. I have had excellent blog traffic. And, I have both an awesome kid and the Farmer’s Daughter by my side…

And yeah, I have my ups and downs, and I have my drama with family and friends from time to time, and there are bumps in the relationship road to deal with here and there, and I screw up as a parent sometimes, but… life is so good.

Anyway, enough about how awesome my life is. Something interesting happened over the past little while.

I launched a new membership program here on Single Dad Laughing. No biggie. It’s just an option for those who want an ad-free experience here and who want to support the site, but it’s not make or break for me as a blogger. Memberships are never going to be a major part of the business plan here. In fact, my goal is that for those who don’t want the benefits of ad-free browsing, they will never see much of a change at all.

But anyway, this isn’t a blog post about that, it’s about what setting that up and launching it has made me think so much about. I mean… the reason I finally made it an option is because I recently received news that they were making drastic changes to the way ads work (particularly for mobile viewers, but on the main site as well) that would potentially affect my income, and how much it would affect it is very much still unknown.

And… I am blessed enough to know that even if they take away 25% or quite possibly even more of my income with the new regulations, I am still going to be okay as a blogger. Like I said on the membership page, “’I’ll (with gratitude) make a buck or two off of your visits whether it’s ad-supported or membership supported. I’ll still be able to run my servers either way. I’ll still be able to put frozen casseroles into the oven at night. And I’ll still be able to take Delilah for a spin when I need to clear my head.”

In other words, I am blessed with far more than I need to survive at the moment, and that’s a blessing not everyone has. There are many bloggers who these changes will drastically affect. There are many who will see drops that do affect the food on their table or their ability to keep going the way they have. And while I do this blog as a business, and most of us do our blogs for businesses, I will never fail to appreciate that I am more blessed than most. I will never forget that it was large amounts of luck and good fortune that brought me here. I will also never forget that it really wasn’t all that long ago that I almost had to give this thing up because I was so far in the hole trying to get it going that keeping it going was not going to be a possibility.

And, I will never forget that it was all of your generosity that kept this alive and opened up the doors that made this thing actually work for me.

In my memoir that I recently finished writing (and which I now have decided that I will likely go the publishing route instead of self-publishing), I talk about that period of time in which I was poorer than I ever had been in my entire life.

I talk about a moment, in the midst of it all, when I couldn’t afford to run my air conditioner, and in the dead heat of summer I was lying on my tile kitchen floor trying to cool off. Depleted of energy, tired, worn out, barely able to continue functioning.

Things had gotten so bad financially that I literally didn’t know if I would be homeless the next day. I had lost all hope, whatsoever. I had sold almost everything I owned. I was not eating much of anything some days. And I had exhausted every avenue of trying to build this business and make at least some money from it (all of which fell through or failed) to the point that I didn’t know what else to do.

While lying on that tile floor, I fell asleep. I don’t know how long I was asleep for. Time was lost to me more often than not back then.

And then… SNAP! A mousetrap that had been set under the edge of the cabinets went off about eight feet from my face. I opened my eyes when I heard it, and I watched as a mouse flopped wildly back and forth, spasming in the trap. I just watched it, emotionless, and after it died I went back to sleep. I didn’t have the energy or the hope or the whatever to feel anything in that moment. I was belly-up broke, and nothing else mattered. It was an awful feeling. (And, believe it or not after reading those paragraphs, the memoir is actually ridiculous and funny, haha.)

It was shortly after that that I came to all of you and asked for a buck or two to keep the servers going. It was do or die time. I couldn’t keep putting my kid through such circumstances in the pursuit of a dream that wasn’t happening.

And you selflessly gave to the tune of a couple thousand dollars. And from there, everything started clicking into place. And immediately, like within a few days, things just started working, and I suddenly had a real income from ads and I’ve had an income ever since.

And now, a year and a half later, I am making more than I need to be comfortable, let alone survive. And I can’t help but think back to that moment when I had my face pressed to the cold tile watching that animal die in front of me, and feel that it’s time to give back to those who are at just such a point.

Because, you see, the industry is making changes that could really affect my income, and even if they do, I will still have enough. That is what I have been thinking so much about. I have been blessed beyond blessed.

And so, today I am going to give back.

I am going to personally give $100.00 to forty (40) of you parents who are belly-up broke.

And it’s all going to be on the honor system.

To 40 random people who meet the following requirements and fill out the form on the next page, I will send you (via PayPal) $100.00.

These are my requirements.

1) You must be a parent. This is important to me because it was the desperation I felt as a parent that finally made me get over my own pride enough to ask for what I needed not just for me, but for my child.

2) You must be belly-up broke. Not just poor. Not just not making enough money. Not just living paycheck to paycheck. I mean you must literally not know if you are going to be homeless tomorrow or not. I can tell you that there are few worse feelings than that, and I know how hopeless that feels. I also know what a difference even a few dollars makes to the situation.

3) You must promise to one day pay it forward. In your own way, whether with time, or talents, or service, or money.

I believe in the honesty of all of you. I believe that this money will all get to the right places. And I believe with a following the size that I have, there are more than enough people who need this $100 as much as I needed my miracle when I did.

That’s all. No strings attached. No jumping through hoops. Just a few extra bucks in your pocket while you figure things out.

I would be ungrateful for the miracle you all gave me so long ago if I didn’t.

Just know that this comes from a place of gratitude for how blessed I am at this point in my life. Nowhere else. It is coming straight from me, from my bank account. No sponsors. I’m not trying to sell you anything. I have no goal in this beyond giving back.

I love you all, and I’ll never forget what you did for me.

Simply fill out the form on page two and tell me that you fit the criteria, and that you need this.

Thank you for letting me finally pay it forward to all of you. I will leave this form open for at least a few days so that whoever really needs it will have time to find it.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. I’ve added the form on page two so that it doesn’t load for every single person who reads this. That would seriously bog down the server.

PPS. Please note that after I send the money, PayPal will have to pull the funds from my regular bank account which means it may take a few days to clear into yours. Also, please be aware that there will likely be more than 40 people who fill out the form. If that is the case, please know I wish I could send some to you all, and that filling out the form is (unfortunately) no guarantee that you will be a recipient.

FOLLOW UP NOTE: TUESDAY JUNE 04 10:10PM – due to an overwhelming response (of nearly 800 people hoping to be a recipient), I had to remove the form today.

Picking the recipients proved to be challenging. There were many fraudulent and repeated requests that I had to filter out (thank goodness for IP addresses), but there were still 500 or so people who are, right now, at that place I once was. Single moms and single dads. Parents who were still married or together and still struggling. Young people. Old people. Americans. Canadians. Europeans. Asians. Australians. There were those who came to where they were gradually and those who came hard and fast.

In the end, I could only give $100 to 40 people. I think that was the hardest part of all of this. I wanted to give it to all five hundred. But still, I am thankful for those people who I could pay it forward to.

I’ve included a list of recipients on the next page where the original form was. Seven or eight of the transactions are showing “unclaimed” in PayPal, so if your name is on the list and you don’t see it in your account, make sure you contact me.

And, because it’s Gay Pride Month, today I wanted to do a special LGBT edition of This is Beautiful You! The only problem is, when I requested your photos, so many were sent in that I couldn’t possibly use them all this week, so if [...]]]> Finally, my favorite post of the week! Every Sunday morning I take some of the photos that you have uploaded to the Facebook wall, and I post them here.

And, because it’s Gay Pride Month, today I wanted to do a special LGBT edition of This is Beautiful You! The only problem is, when I requested your photos, so many were sent in that I couldn’t possibly use them all this week, so if yours didn’t make it… check back over the next few months. I’ll add them in future posts.

I love This is Beautiful You because it gives me (and everybody else) an incredible glimpse of who we all are. It puts a face on the awesome people coming here. It gives us a beautiful idea of the uniqueness and diversity of the followers here at SDL. More than anything, it shows all of us just how beautiful we each can be.

Anyway, thank you for sharing a small part of yourselves. It’s my honor to put the spotlight on you today. This is beautiful you.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

I couldn’t think of a good photo to go with this extremely random post, then I remembered our extremely awkward photo album fun from last weekend and thought, why not?!

Anyway…

I just wrote 2,000 words in an overdue and very justifiable rant, aimed at far too many people in my personal life that I love.

[Sigh]

I’ve just had one of those weeks that was full of last straws, and for some reason my [...]]]>

I couldn’t think of a good photo to go with this extremely random post, then I remembered our extremely awkward photo album fun from last weekend and thought, why not?!

Anyway…

I just wrote 2,000 words in an overdue and very justifiable rant, aimed at far too many people in my personal life that I love.

[Sigh]

I’ve just had one of those weeks that was full of last straws, and for some reason my birthday just kind of made it all worse, not better.

Bla bla bla, I’m tired of people acting like bla bla bla. And bla bla bla, I can’t handle any more of this all-take no-give bla bla bla. And bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla BLA.

I brooded. I hid in the darkness of my bedroom. I canceled my birthday get-together that I had planned this weekend. I felt sad. And ate crap. And felt picked on. And ate more crap. And looked at my motorcycle sitting out in the rain for three days and felt sad some more. And ate more crap.

Yeah, it’s been one of those weeks. And I took all of my penting frustrations and created a masterful tirade to entertain the masses and passive aggressively get my point across to so many people. I’m telling you, they would have given me awards for it.

But in the end, I can’t share it. I write to entertain, yes, but I also write to become a healthier, more self-enlightened version of me.

What I wrote would have gotten some really good conversation going. It would have brought in a ton of traffic. It would have made a lot of people in my life feel bad, which I suppose was its intent. It even would have made some people laugh.

But an accountable writer knows when something he’s written ends up being for his own benefit or for the benefit of many, and he knows when to be okay being the only audience who ever sees the words that were written, as beautifully scripted as they may have been.

After reading what I wrote, I realized two things. One, it’s all true. And two, it’s not going to do any good where I actually want it to do good.

So, this time around, there will be an audience of one. By writing it, I am better for it. And that’s all that matters.

Plus… it’s the weekend! And weekends should be awesome. And fun. And full of laughs. And not sad. And they shouldn’t start off with some big rant.

And so, I shall now entertain you (even if it’s in the nose scrunched up sort of way)  with three bathroom facts that you really should know.

1) Do you keep your toothbrush out after you use it? Well, a recent study has shown that 70% of toothbrushes that sit out on bathroom counter tops are loaded with bacteria, most of which come from poop particles in the air. And, get this… About half of those actually have E. coli. Ummm, gross. I’m going to start putting my toothbrush in the drawer

Continue reading: The Most Random Blog Post I Have Ever Written

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to [...]]]>

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

After 21 years of self-destructive inner-battles, I finally admitted my biggest secret to myself and to the rest of the world. That day, and the day my son was born, were the two most incredible and wonderful days of my life.

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “What everyone thinks is true,” and “what actually is true.” More than six thousand secrets were shared. Every Thursday I try and share 60 of them here. Completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles.

Today, let’s just laugh. It’s the middle of the week. We all need a good push to get over that big hump.

I never have awesome jokes. People say, “tell me a joke,” and my mind always goes blank. I’m a wit man. I like to make humor on the fly.

So, I asked you all on my Facebook page for your Best. Short jokes. Ever. And you delivered. In fact, you delivered [...]]]>

Today, let’s just laugh. It’s the middle of the week. We all need a good push to get over that big hump.

I never have awesome jokes. People say, “tell me a joke,” and my mind always goes blank. I’m a wit man. I like to make humor on the fly.

So, I asked you all on my Facebook page for your Best. Short jokes. Ever. And you delivered. In fact, you delivered a few posts worth of them. Haha.

So thank you. I will now be a funny old man someday. Oh, and some of them were a leeeeettle bit naughty. Or politically incorrect. Or just plain wrong. I pushed those to the last page so that those of you who aren’t as “free spirited” as someone like me can skip them if you like.

Or skip straight to them. Whatever floats your boat

Continue reading: BEST. SHORT JOKES. EVER. Vol. 4

Hundreds of you responded. These are a few of my favorites (with more to come).

Today is my birthday, and I have one and only one birthday wish from all of you.

I want to have an absolutely ridiculous duck lips contest.

So… Will you take a duck lips picture and Instagram it with the tag #DuckLips4SDL pretty pretty please?

That’s all.

It’d make my whole day. Plus I have some potentially incredible stuff going on today and tomorrow, so I could really use the positive [...]]]> Dear friends,

Today is my birthday, and I have one and only one birthday wish from all of you.

I want to have an absolutely ridiculous duck lips contest.

So… Will you take a duck lips picture and Instagram it with the tag #DuckLips4SDL pretty pretty please?

That’s all.

It’d make my whole day. Plus I have some potentially incredible stuff going on today and tomorrow, so I could really use the positive mojo!

You all rock. See you over on Instagram.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. If your instagram is set to private (or if you don’t have instagram), feel free to send me your photos to theblog [at] danoah [dot] com.

PPS. Be sure to find me on Instagram via the user name danoah!

I keep a list in my phone of all the random facts I learn that I feel like I should have known or that would have been awesome to know, but that for some reason I am just learning. When it gets long enough, I share it with you.

50 Random Facts I Didn’t Know That I Didn’t Know

1. Apparently, children [...]]]> Time for another Facts I Didn’t Know That I Didn’t Know post.

I keep a list in my phone of all the random facts I learn that I feel like I should have known or that would have been awesome to know, but that for some reason I am just learning. When it gets long enough, I share it with you.

50 Random Facts I Didn’t Know That I Didn’t Know

1. Apparently, children grow faster in the spring time.

2. Elephants are the only animals on earth with four knees.

3. Humans can smell skunks from more than a mile away.

4. When Eisenhower created the Freeway system, it was mandated that one mile in every five was perfectly straight for emergency airplane landings.

5. It is possible to have twins with two different fathers. This is called Heteropaternal Superfecunda.

6. John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer.

There are good emails to get. And there are great emails to get.

And, then there are emails that make you happier than you could ever imagine.

Do you remember the Fish sisters who I told you about? The ones that were trying to get bone cell transplants to save their lives? The ones who couldn’t go outside of a thoroughly sanitized room? The ones who were trapped in their house?

I sure [...]]]>

There are good emails to get. And there are great emails to get.

And, then there are emails that make you happier than you could ever imagine.

Do you remember the Fish sisters who I told you about? The ones that were trying to get bone cell transplants to save their lives? The ones who couldn’t go outside of a thoroughly sanitized room? The ones who were trapped in their house?

I sure do. If you need a refresher or you weren’t around back then, here’s the post. Natalie and Alice both were born with Bubble Boy Disease. The chances of that happening were one in millions. The chances of both of them getting it, even greater.

Anyway, Tyler (their dad) just emailed me and said:

Dan, 

I’ve been meaning to get this to you.  Because of what you and your readers have done for our family, Natalie made it to her make a wish trip and had a great time. I attempted to make a movie of it, its a little long. Thanks for all you have done for us. 

Tyler

Natalie got to go to Hawaii (thanks to Make a Wish).

Do I need to repeat that?

Natalie, the little girl who couldn’t so much as leave her house for a year after her transplant, went to Hawaii. With her family. This is the last photo I shared with you of Natalie:

Anyway, here is the video. And you know what I love most about it? It’s not a video about Natalie, or her sickness, or her confinement, or her need for help.

It’s a family video of an entire family having the first real not-worried-about-their-daughter-dying fun that they’ve had in years.

God. It feels good to know that we all had a little part in that.

3:33. That about says it all, doesn’t it?

And thank you Tyler, for sharing this. From all of us.

If you don’t think that little donations when they’re really needed can’t make a huge difference in people’s lives, well, watch the video again.

And as exciting and wonderful as that is, you may have noticed that little Alice wasn’t in the video. I wrote to Tyler and asked how she was, if she had stayed home, or what. This was his reply:

Alice did stay home with family….she has shown improvement this past week however she is close to losing her initial transplant and the doctors have her lined up to do another if she does not improve within the next two months. We have our fingers crossed that she wont because its more than likely it will be needed.

So, keep Alice in your thoughts. She (and her parents) need lots of positive ones right now.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” It has taken on different forms and purposes over the months.

Recently, I asked you all to anonymously share something you did that others think is wrong, that you don’t regret. There were only three sections to fill out on the form. “What I did that others think is wrong,” "Why I don’t regret it," and “Who told me that [...]]]>

Here on Single Dad Laughing, I started what I call “The Truth Box.” It has taken on different forms and purposes over the months.

Recently, I asked you all to anonymously share something you did that others think is wrong, that you don’t regret. There were only three sections to fill out on the form. “What I did that others think is wrong,” "Why I don’t regret it," and “Who told me that it is wrong.” hundreds of you shared.

Every Thursday I try and share a Truth Box post here on Single Dad Laughing. Sometimes secrets you’ve never told anyone. Sometimes parenting secrets. Sometimes embarrassing things you’ve done. Here are this week’s secrets, completely random and exactly as they came in.

These truths aren’t meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down or make us discouraged, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles and that sometimes right and wrong might be a little more gray than we all like to think. Or maybe it’s not, I don’t know. Just be kind and edifying in your comments, that’s all I ask.

In fact, It’s more than okay. Farts often can be some of the funniest things ever. At least in retrospect. But when they happen unexpectedly, sometimes they’re the most mortifying things ever.

Like the time when I was in the steam room and I had been sitting all alone for at least the last ten minutes. Feeling safe, and not all that potent, I bent my naked self over [...]]]> Everybody farts. And that’s okay.

In fact, It’s more than okay. Farts often can be some of the funniest things ever. At least in retrospect. But when they happen unexpectedly, sometimes they’re the most mortifying things ever.

Like the time when I was in the steam room and I had been sitting all alone for at least the last ten minutes. Feeling safe, and not all that potent, I bent my naked self over and let a little air out.

To my horror it smelled like the rotting carcass of three-day-old smashed raccoon. It’ll all be fine, I thought. As long as no one else comes in.

Yeah. Of course someone right then opened the door and came inside.

Lucky for me, a fresh billow of steam had just filled the room and whoever it was couldn’t see my face.

They could, however, smell it, as was evidenced by the ever so quiet “Grrgghg” sound they made when they first walked in.

In that steam room, the fresh steam doesn’t last too long, so as soon as the other dude sat down, I stood up and made a B-line for the exit, leaving him to think really hard about whatever he had done wrong to deserve such a thing.

LOL. That was my story. Here are your stories. And I call this series horrifying panty burps because one of you in your comments called farts panty burps. Which I thought was way too funny.

HORRIFYING PANTY BURPS VOL. 4

1. “This is my daddy. He farts all the time.” – my 2 year old daughter, introducing me to complete strangers at the grocery store.
2. I was riding my horse, just walking, and let one rip. It reflected off the saddle so loud that my horse spooked and took off running. It took weeks to get her to walk in that corner of the arena again!
3. My sister and I were just two little girls visiting their two aunts one summer. One aunt farts really loud and the other, who is partially deaf, yells from the back room, “was that the phone?”
4. When my daughter was 3, she had a terrible habit of wrapping her arms around my legs and burying her face wherever it happened to land. Well, one day, without thinking a thing of it, I let out an SBD. A second later, of course, here she comes. She wraps her arms around my legs and buries her face I’m sure you can guess where. Her reaction was priceless! She backed away as fast as she possibly could, and with the most sour, disgusted look on her face said sympathetically, “oh mommy, you stink.”
5. My grandma was in ballet class and when she bent down she let out a huge fart. Everyone looked at her so she said, “phew! I haven’t done that in five years!”
6. I went on a mission for my church. While there, some old fat dude with no teeth tries to hit on me. He even does the “stretch, arm around the girl” move. I have not been touched by a dude in nearly a year and a half at this point. I’m wondering how I’m going to get out if it. Then I think, “I have to fart. I can’t. I’m in public. Whatever, dude, just drop it.” So I do. Dude removes his arm, takes a whiff, and leaves. That’s how I roll. The question is, should I proud or embarrassed I smelled bad in France?
7. My kids and I were in church, near the back of the room. My 3 yo son was sitting on my lap listening to the speaker… He let one rip, and I whispered (very quietly) into his ear, “Did you just fart on me?” As loudly as he was capable of, he yelled, “I didn’t fawt on you, I fawted on me!” and proceeded to break down giggling. I was mortified as many, many heads turned to look at us with smiles on their faces and the speaker had to stop because he couldn’t control his laughter…
8. My friend farted a dude off her at a concert. He had no personal space boundaries and deserved it.
9. Walking down the aisle at the grocery store with my fiance and our daughter, the local vet is walking in front of us and all of a sudden, it hits my nose…that smell. I leaned down and quietly whispered to her, “honey, did you have a toot?” to which she replied, rather loudly “no mommy, it was that lady” and pointed to the vet. The lady turned around and shook her head “no” so I leaned down again and said, “honey, what do we say if we toot?” and she replied, “excuse me” and she then proceeded to giggle because she knew she had been busted.

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked a simple question.

“What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?”

More than 1,500 of you answered.

And, just as I had hoped, you didn’t fail to deliver some of the best gut-grabbing laughs I’ve had in weeks. Here are a few of your replies…

Continue reading: The Most Embarrassing Things Ever Blurted Out By Kids – [...]]]>

Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked a simple question.

“What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?”

More than 1,500 of you answered.

And, just as I had hoped, you didn’t fail to deliver some of the best gut-grabbing laughs I’ve had in weeks. Here are a few of your replies…

Continue reading: The Most Embarrassing Things Ever Blurted Out By Kids – Vol. 2

]]> http://www.danoah.com/2013/05/the-most-embarrassing-things-ever-blurted-out-by-kids-vol-2.html/feed 64 children,embarrassing,parents,moms,dads,kids Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked a simple question. - "What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?" - More than 1,500 of you answered. - And, just as I had hoped, Over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook Page, I asked a simple question. "What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever blurted out to others?" More than 1,500 of you answered. And, just as I had hoped, you didn't fail to deliver some of the best gut-grabbing laughs I've had in weeks. Here are a few of your replies... Oh, and if you missed the first installment, be sure to check that out here. The Most Embarrassing Things Ever Blurted Out By Kids - Vol. 2 We were at Walmart when a threeish boy in the basket in front of us waves at my four year old granddaughter. She tries to ignore him but I told her to tell him hi. She wouldn't do it so I told the other child, "She thinks boys have cooties, I guess" and my granddaughter shouts out, "No mawmaw, boys have penises." My niece, after spending time at her Dad's, goes shopping with her Mom and in the checkout line looks at her and says "Mommy, you’re my little hemorrhoid!" While in a changing room with my 3 young sons, one of them looks at me and seeing the stretch marks across my belly, says (in that little child voice that carries throughout the whole changing room and possibly the store)... "Mommy! You have stripes! Like a tiger!" When my friend moved to heavily churched NC from NYC and took her son for his first physical, it included an eye exam. When the nurse pointed to the "+" sign, he looked up at her, narrowed his eyes and offered a guess, “One of those "church thingies”?” I was returning a dress to Kohl's. When the lady asked why I was returning it my 6-year old replied, "when she bends over her butt hangs out!" My son was three years old and saw an older gentleman with quite the pot belly. My son asked rather loudly (to me, but within ear shot of the man), "When's the baby gonna come out?" In the pet department at Walmart, my seven year old niece is looking for a toy for her new puppy "Boston." She finds a ball on a shelf and yells "Daddy, Boston loves to play with his balls!". My then three year old son, loudly piping up at "Children's Moment" during a church service: "My daddy is at home, sleeping on the sofa!" My brother, while very young in the 1970's, asked why our Doctor had brown skin. My Mum explained, in front of the Doctor, that he was of Indian origin. My brothers response was "Wow! Do you know any Cowboys?" My son, who couldn't read at the time, opened his fortune cookie in a crowded restaurant and screeched loudly, 'Here is what mine says - if you poop in the toilet remember to flush!' My then four year old yelled at his teacher "stop telling me what to do, you're not my wife!" To her kindergarten teacher: "My mom only drinks coffee and wine." CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE My then 3 year-old son pointed at the crucifix in church and loudly said, "Hey! It's Jesus on a stick!" Two years later my then three year-old daughter pointed at a crucifix in a bookstore and said, "Hey! It's that guy from our church!" “Look mom, Pilgrims.” They were Amish people. In the middle of a crowded Target on a Saturday morning: "Mommy, don't forget to buy razors. You need to shave." Recently, my daughter opted to take the stairs in our building after seeing a group of overweight tenants boarding our elevator. I told her I agreed to use the stairs because it was crowded and I am a bit claustrophobic. Before the elevator closed, she replied loudly, "yeah and the elevator only holds two thousand pounds". When my daughter was three she told my family at Thanksgiving, “My mom thinks Barak Obama is sexy.” My mother told me that once when I was three my babysitter took me to the grocery store. I nonchalantly looked up from the cart and asked her if, when I got as old as her, would I have a mustache too? "My mom puts a for-free sign on me and makes me sit at the end of the driveway." My daughter in our grocery store: “My Mom isn't just getting fat she is pregnant.” Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing clean 10:17 http://www.danoah.com/2013/05/the-most-embarrassing-things-ever-blurted-out-by-kids-vol-2.htmlhttp://media.blubrry.com/singledadlaughing/www.danoah.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Most-Embarrassing-Things-Ever-Blurted-Out-By-Kids-Vol-2.mp3

When some people get down or discouraged, they drink. Other people turn to pain pills. Other people to cigarettes. Other people to drugs. Other people to food. Other people to religion.

Me, I turn to shopping. And, more specifically, clothes.

I may have a little clothes problem.

I realized this last week when I opened the door to my apartment after a morning run and was suddenly hit with the stench of six week’s [...]]]>

When some people get down or discouraged, they drink. Other people turn to pain pills. Other people to cigarettes. Other people to drugs. Other people to food. Other people to religion.

Me, I turn to shopping. And, more specifically, clothes.

I may have a little clothes problem.

I realized this last week when I opened the door to my apartment after a morning run and was suddenly hit with the stench of six week’s worth of stinky underwear.

Sitting in my closet, were three laundry hampers, all heaping two or three feet above the tops of them. In those hampers were shirts, and pants, and socks, and underwear.

But not just any shirts. Regular shirts, yes. But gym shirts, too. And not just jeans, but gym shorts and warmup pants. And, gulp… not just underwear… but lots and lots of sweat-soaked gym underwear.

The smell of it all made me literally gag in my doorway. Why I hadn’t smelled it to that point, and why it suddenly hit me so strongly, is a mystery in and of itself. But it did. And it was strong. I would liken the smell to sticking your entire head into a linebacker’s navel.

Thankfully the Farmer’s Daughter wasn’t coming around for a couple days. Time enough to do my laundry and let it air out.

When I was done washing and drying the laundry (minus the bedding and towels), this is the pile of clothes that I had to put away. Please note that those pillows in the back are FIVE pillows tall. Not two.

I don’t know if you can really grasp how much laundry that is since it’s all stacked so neatly. So, I counted it out for you:

• Six sweatshirts.
• Four pairs of sweatpants.
• Sixteen gym shirts.
• Eight pairs of gym shorts.
• Eight gym pants.
• 57 pairs of socks.
• Nine button down shirts.
• 34 t-shirts.
• Five tank tops or sleeveless shirts.
• 11 pairs of jeans.
• 17 under shirts.
• Two bathing suits.
• 52 pairs of underwear.
• Two pairs of pajama pants.
• Two baseball caps.

It had been at least six weeks since the last time I did laundry. And you would think I was out of clothes. Oh, no. I still had the following clean and ready to go in my closet:

• 47 shirts of different varieties.
• Eight hoodies.
• Four pair of sweat pants.
• Nine dress shirts.
• Five pairs of slacks.
• 20 gym shirts.
• Seven pair of gym shorts.
• Eight pair of gym pants.
• 14 pair of jeans.
• Two bathing suits.
• 41 pairs of shoes, boots, and other footwear.
• Three dress coats.
• Two rash guards.
• Six pair of manpris.
• 18 pair of shorts.
• Nine sweaters.
• One suit.

Six weeks, and I still had all that that I could have worn.

I think it’s time I say the words aloud…

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And now, when it’s just starting to look so good, he’s having second thoughts so I need your help convincing him to keep this thing going!

Leave a comment below and tell him how delightfully creeptastic it is and how he shouldn’t give up.

Please. I beg you

Continue reading: Encouragement For My Brother’s Creeptastic Mustache

I don’t even know what to say after this morning’s parenting edition of The Truth Box. There have been a LOT of strong emotions flying around, and a lot of things said.

According to some of you, I crossed a serious line posting some of those confessions. Others of you have demanded that I report the submitters to the police, threatening that if I don’t, you will. Others have demanded that some [...]]]>

I don’t even know what to say after this morning’s parenting edition of The Truth Box. There have been a LOT of strong emotions flying around, and a lot of things said.

According to some of you, I crossed a serious line posting some of those confessions. Others of you have demanded that I report the submitters to the police, threatening that if I don’t, you will. Others have demanded that some of the children need to be taken away from their parents.

When I shared the link this morning, I told you all that it was my favorite edition of The Truth Box yet. And I stand by that. We had never done a parental confessions edition, and something about it all made me feel so much more empowered and emboldened as a parent while I put it together.

Many of the confessions were light-hearted. Some even humorous. And some were extremely heavy and hard to hear. That, to me, is what makes The Truth Box so powerful.

But right now let’s talk about a couple of the heavier ones.

This one has really struck a nerve with people:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

The Truth Box is back, but this week it’s all about parenting, and we had two new questions in place of the usual ones.

In a brand new questionnaire, I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult parenting secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “The embarrassing thing [...]]]>

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” ~Philo of Alexandria

The Truth Box is back, but this week it’s all about parenting, and we had two new questions in place of the usual ones.

In a brand new questionnaire, I asked you all to anonymously share a difficult parenting secret that you’ve never told anyone. There were only two sections to fill out on the form. “The embarrassing thing I did as a parent,” and “why I’ve never told anyone.” Lots of parenting secrets were shared. I will begin swapping out some of the usual Truth Box Thursday posts with these ones. Here they are… Completely random and exactly as they came in.

As a side note, these truths aren’t really meant to entertain. They aren’t meant to bring us down, either. They’re just an incredible and poignant (though sometimes heavy) reminder that we all are fighting our own great battles. Including, and sometimes especially, as parents.

My entire life, I have listened to the same handful of motorcycling stories again and again from my Mom.

The first story is about her gnarly motorcycle crash on her boyfriend’s bike when she was an older teenager. That led to a leg that is still scarred and mangled.

The next story is about her taking the motorcycle driving test at the DMV when she was younger. She whipped around and went crazy [...]]]>

My entire life, I have listened to the same handful of motorcycling stories again and again from my Mom.

The first story is about her gnarly motorcycle crash on her boyfriend’s bike when she was an older teenager. That led to a leg that is still scarred and mangled.

The next story is about her taking the motorcycle driving test at the DMV when she was younger. She whipped around and went crazy on her brother’s motorcycle before the instructor came out, and when she looked over, she was shocked to see the instructor already outside watching her. She asked when they were going to start the test, he said she had just done it.

The other story was about the time she was riding down the highway on her boyfriend’s motorcycle when a semi-truck driver she was passing made eye contact with her, snarled, and purposefully started coming into her lane on top of her. Apparently to try and murder her.

Let me remind you that these have always been stories to me, nothing else. I’ve never seen her ride a motorcycle. Heck, I’ve never even seen her stand anywhere close to a motorcycle.

Until, that is, I brought Delilah over for Sunday dinner this past week.

I parked my bike out on her driveway in the shade of her exterior garage and went in to help make Mother’s Day dinner for all the women-folk. When most of it was done and we were all standing around waiting, I invited Mom and my brother-in law Luis to come see my new ride.

Luis has lived and breathed motorcycles since he was like twelve years old or something crazy like that.

Mom, well, once upon a time, in a generation far, far away…

I told Luis to hop on and take it for a spin. He’d never ridden a brand new Harley, and there was a trail of saliva from the house to where he was currently standing. He eagerly waited to mount the bike and started demanding helmets, gloves, and keys.

Mom stood nearby, oohing and ahhing the thing. She mumbled “Can I…” then she trailed off. Then again, “do you think…” then she trailed off

Continue reading: My Mom. My Motorcycle. One Hard Decision.

I've decided to paste the text from these emails instead of the screen shots because people on mobile devices were having a hard time reading them.

Loved this one.