The Animals Have Escaped

My Ephiany

2017-09-22T17:51:00.001-05:00

On an October day I parked my car in front of the high school and as I waited for my son who would have conferences the next day I observed the following

Approximately nine yellow school buses were parked in front and they were being loaded by high school juniors and seniors decked out in Halloween costumes some of these kids clearly had down syndrome some of these kids were in wheelchairs some of these kids were most likely blind because they had seeing devices and some of them were an unidentifiable disability to me as having disabilities. Clearly this was a gathering of specially abled children there were many adults near the children some of the adults or actually guiding the children and following them to the destination. Some children were more independent and could walk and talk and get on the bus all by themselves most of them were independent thinkers and independent doers I did not see a lot of interaction between peers as I have witnessed other high school students. But there was a lot of smiles and happiness and costume shares as I saw snow white Darth Vader superman Pinocchio peter pan a police officer a sheriff a princess a B and many other recognizable characters for Halloween

This is when I had my epiphany

Clearly each of the students had an IEP and we're under the guidance in care of special-education teachers just like my son Carson.

CAPS

ACTION FIGURES. Independent. Focused persistent. Alone child-like

Other projects: collaborative. Mature. Adult concepts effective. Creative. Group effort.

Am I the problem?

"WE" survived!!

2017-05-07T08:59:00.001-05:00

One principle learned in Cognitive Behavior Therapy is think with the "end in mind."

It worked ... sort of ...

8 am on Saturday and my OCD/ADD/Tourette's 18-year-old is safe in his bed sleeping. He fell asleep most likely around 3 am (I was snoozing, but barely) after watching a movie at a female friend's house. He and his Prom date, whom drove 3 hours away to attend the dance, finally landed at this safe spot. (Coincidentally his date arranged to sleep-over at this spot before driving the 3 hours home the next morning.) After being rejected from 4 friend's "after Prom parties", the couple lamented on how to spend the rest of their "magical" prom night while sitting in a mini van in my driveway ! The clock read 11:00 pm.

Being the "helicopter" parent I am, I took the couple water bottles, snacks, and expensive chocolate to pass the time and invited them in. They took the bait, came inside, used the facilities, sat on the couch, and endured awkward silence, followed by more awkward "mom" questions, conversation starters, and an appearance from "dad" warning me to "let the couple be."

My rationale for this interrogation was simple: get to know my son's date and her intentions better (it worked and I "did") and prevent the couple from sitting alone and in the dark and in a van with no friends nor adults present and on their fifth official date. It worked ... sort of ... just a "kiss!" (PLEASE PLEASE don't let my son find this until he reaches 31!) Trust between Mom & son must be honored,) 😗

Simply allowing my learning-disabled son to get in the drivers-side of my van, turn the car on, buckle his seat belt, turn on his music and anticipate the 20-minute drive to the dance venue stressed me. Having his date get in the passenger side, secure her own seat belt, turn OFF the music and immediately begin navigation protocol calmed my nerves.

I ALMOST drove the long route with my son the day before, but in between picking up his new suit, the corsage and boutonnieres, buying groceries that he chose for a home-made meal prepared by me and going over and over the route, time escaped us.

and what a perfect meal those groceries chosen by my son made!!!

Steak, shrimp, corn on cob, new potatoes, rolls and fancy cookies for dessert!

This dinner, served within our home, was a perfect and safe and affordable and quick and convienient and "controlled by Mom" experience!!! (no parking the van in a busy, crowded, Friday night restaurant lot)

LEAST stress of my Friday evening!

I am not sure how my son felt as his 24-year-old brother, his wife, their 16-month-old daughter and my 12-year-daughter dashed in and out and literally over and under ...

But I was good.

IF you are now judging me and my mad Mom parenting choices for this senior high school Prom experience, YOU MUST READ THIS PERSPECTIVE BY ANOTHER LD MOM!!!

or see this POST on my blog.

Another Mom's lamented experience with "Normal"

2017-05-05T07:33:00.001-05:00

These writings, discovered in my FB feed, reflect my son and my families experiences, thoughts and principles learned over 15 years of parenting a LD child.

13 REASONS WHY: My PERSPECTIVE

2017-05-03T13:56:00.001-05:00

Spring events 2017:

(my personal opinions are based on my own sphere of influence and experiences. I am not a professional nor do I have science-based evidence)

My husband is a pediatric hospitalist and IF a teen attempted suicide and failed, the teen would see an ER doc, be admitted, and be treated by a pediatric hospitalist to stabilize vital organs.

Mental health professionals, who are available during the hospital stay, also begin taking histories. A lot of emotional & physical work is involved.

(Ironically or coincidentally: more teens were admitted over the weekend for suicide attempt than in recent months. (Much higher than normal. This trend has repeated for 3 weeks: coincidentally,the show first aired 4 weeks ago.)

My son is a high school teacher, and I have 2 teens. (both teens have had "friend groups" comment about this series which was FIRST a book. 12-year-olds are seemingly intrigued)

Lastly, my now 18-year-old son has been treated by a psychiatrist since 3rd grade for Tourette's/OCD/ADD and I have sat it on countless sessions when the trained medical professional has asked my son if he feels sad enough to hurt himself. (Mandatory question for certain medications.)

I felt compelled to understand this series and hype and watched the FIRST and the LAST 2 episodes. (3 hours total)

I can now effectively offer opinions and weed out the " Hollywood" drama and separate reality from ENTERTAINMENT!

This is the issue with this Netflix drama and all other media streaming on our devices.

ENTERTAINMENT VS REALITY!!

The 25-and older target age group are hauntingly and willingly entertained and intrigued. The development of their brains most likely allows them to not be coercly affected by the 3 most graphic scenes.

Target audience teen brains, however, may transpose images quite differently and separating reality vs. fantasy becomes skewed based on life experiences.

The reality is doctors/medical professionals/staff in our Children's Hospital have treated more teen suicide attempt victims in the last 4 weeks than prior to this NETFLIX series being aired. Some teen patients HAVE admitted the Netflix show based on revenge suicide affected their actions.

The mental health system in our region is bulging currently. The "true" victims will be the teens that succeed in "revenge suicide" and the teens who have "real" and not situational mental health symptoms such as bi-polar, schizophrenia, depression, addiction, etc. who will get "delayed" mental health due to an inordinate amount of "revenge" attempts.

I did not waste 13 hours on disturbing, violent, overly dramatic, immoral entertainment seemingly depicting current high school social interactions.

I GOT ENOUGH IN 3 hours.

The relevant topics depicted are none other than age-old bullying, positive and negative peer pressure, honest use of social media, listening intently to your own Holy Ghost/conscience/instinct and tell it like it is NO MATTER WHAT consequences may occur to other teens. Lack of parental involvement during "trigger" moments was hauntingly absent in the series.

RAPE IS RAPE ... Death is DEATH. ... Reputations are important and should be honored.

Senior Awards Ceremony: my perspective

2017-05-02T07:09:00.000-05:00

--3 celebrations including Honors Awards Assembly, Class Day, & "Graduation"

--Same 50 names read, cheered for, paraded on stage for all attendees to honor

--Because my graduate got a 33 on the ACT, he was amongst a group of 75 celebrated, but their names were not read

--Unfortunately, during the Honors ceremony, the moderator accidentally "SKIPPED" this elect group to stand

--Nobody NOTICED--NOBODY really cared how much effort was offered for this accomplishment

--Ironically, my son's seemingly "best friend" from elementary school sat in front of us. This kid has visibly not understood my son since he began ticking in 4th grade and their friendship lessened. I witnessed my son congratulate him during this ceremony for his many awards and the student nodded his head and moved onto other friends.

--Even though the mother & father of this boy and I about 10 years ago used to be neighbors and had several deep conversations, the mother and I have barely interacted during the handful of events we were both present at. I gave up a few years ago even engaging in conversation with her as it became too painful as our common interest was no longer a "friendship."

--I don't blame or hold grudges; simply need to save my emotional energy for supporting my son and my own family

--Prior to attending the Honors Award Ceremony, I repeated the words "Don't OVER EXAGERRATE--"Don't OVER EXAGERRATE--"Don't OVER EXAGERRATE--"Don't OVER EXAGERRATE--

--Only 45 minutes of witnessing the SAME group of kids receiving HIGH ACADEMIC awards wasn't torture, but provided a feeling of great HOPE for the future

--We celebrated my graduate at a yummy GELATO restaurant PACIUGO

*My husband is not pictured. 4 night shifts and the current atmosphere at the hospital has left him "photogenically" deprived!!!

Opinion: Lifted from COMMENT section

2017-05-01T13:56:00.000-05:00

I DID NOT WRITE THIS, but found it in a comment section. I wanted to re-read this so I copied and pasted here: It is a valid perspective and I am not trying to plagiarize, simply COMMUNICATE! Forgive me if someone takes offense.

(I do not know the author)

"I first and foremost want to say I am by no means a professional or have any kind of formal education on psychology in any and/all its subcategories.

This series doesn't "clearly" communicatie anything. I want to make this abondently clear because this series, or anything else for that matter, doesn't "clearly" communicate anything.

If it did "clearly" communicate something , then there wouldn't be any sort of debate or disturbance like there is because it would be obvious.

"Most significantly" is a personal perspective/opinion and therfore not an objective stance. This is what YOU have taken from this series.

We all have a different perspective and opinion on what "reality" is. Just because someone/something doesn't agree with us, does not give us the right to be objective.

When you said "I agree things can get really shitty" followed by "that's never a reason to take ones life" I would like to seriously question you and find out if you, or anyone close to you, has ever suffered with some kind of mental disturbance.

"Although" mental disorders can cause someone to want to do that??? What kind of ignorant blanket statement is that? Have you or anyone close to you ever suffer or continue to suffer with depression?

The fact you even started that sentence with a "although" make me wonder.

"Although" is defined as "in spite of the fact; even though". The definition clearly states whar it is, but you're sentence is incomplete...

Why is it incomplete?

I agree, at 30yrs old, High school is a small moment in our lives, BUT it's still a moment.

Ever been to a funeral? What about a wedding? How about a birth of a child?

Those are all "small" moments in our lives, but "small" is subjective. The timeframe or length that can be measured on paper is completely irrelevant compared to the emotions/feelings that are generated.

You say you hope parents and teachers can convince kids of that and not to be stupid? I would love to hear a generalized blanket statement that would eleveate this issue.

Maybe it doesn't exist because throughout history it's happened over and over again?

Maybe "convincing" isn't the appropriate approach?

If we were to "convince" people not to do that, we would be willfull ignorant on the reason why they are doing or wanting to do it in the first place.

The fact you were intrigued with the show is a clear object of the intendanr audience.

To make a statement at the end and say you screamed "stupid" is exactly the intended response.

Right/wrong doesn't matter. Both are subjective by nature. What this series has created, either consciously or subconsciously, is exactly what we're are all doing.

We are all communicating.

We are by essence creating an atmosphere where "suicide" is the center of attention.

It doesn't matter who is for or against it. What truly matters, in my opinion, is that it's now aware"

Separating Entertainment VS Reality: 13 Reasons Why

2017-04-30T13:57:00.000-05:00

WEBSITEs addressing current Netflix series and its consequences to teens:

Sydney Morning Herald: haunting images

CBC news: is it exposing the truth or a "primer" to teen suicide?

Washington Post: students are harming themselves and siting "13 Reasons"

HELP SITES:

Crisis Information site

USA TODAY: high school facts

13 reasons why a conversation about rape culture is as important as one about suicide - USA TODAY

https://apple.news/AsEzFTDBwQK27ZtGCz_w3vw

SUICIDE PREVENTION SITE:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: a teachable moment

Today: Psychiatrist states that Netflix should remove 13 Reasons because ...

Entertainment: Paris Jackson-Why 13 Reasons is extremely triggering

Tourette Association of America: Carson presents to 200 elementary-aged- kids

2016-12-01T12:00:00.000-06:00

Here is a link to videos of Carson's presentation inspired by the Tourette Association of America

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jzJ77y1UhdM?list=PLj_jpj9lBobpdF8i4u3w6SO9Mj1SItM_J" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jzJ77y1UhdM?list=PLj_jpj9lBobpdF8i4u3w6SO9Mj1SItM_J" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Emotional decisions for the entire family

2016-04-23T08:30:00.001-05:00

My oldest son graduated from College TODAY. I had a ticket purchased, but felt so strongly that I needed to stay home to support my 17-yr-old third son. So at midnight the night before my flight, my husband booked a ticket for my 10-yr-old daughter as we could not just have her go "as me!" It ended costing us $1,100 for the 2 of them to go. I am so grateful we had the means to do this. As much as I would of loved to be at the commencement ceremony celebrating, I am so at peace with this decision.

BUT it also gets worse......

I am nearly emotionally spent parenting my third son. Tourette's and ADD in 3rd grade and clinically diagnosed with OCD last year, his public education has been extremely time-consuming for him and me--he is a junior in high school and got a 33 on the ACT, but I stayed home because he is failing 2 classes and his IEP and special ED teachers and other teachers are just as confused as us with his symptoms: behavior vs. brain chemistry. I don't want to even imagine him trying to take these classes again and going through the OCD heart ache!

I have been with him through Habit Reversal Therapy, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and OCD/ACT and know that I learned more than him!!!!

WHEN will he begin to embrace these therapies and acknowledge help from others????

PS My husband used the Periscope APP to video the 2-hour LIVE event so I was "virtually" there.

Rally for Tourette in Washington DC

2016-03-16T09:14:00.000-05:00

#Rally4Tourette

#TouretteConf16

My 17-year-old son and I flew to DC for a 2-day Youth Ambassador training for the Tourette Association. We stayed in the Alexandria, VA Crystal Gateway Marriott.

My son and I got to share our personal stories with 2 KS senators legislative AIDS and 1 Congresdional legislative aid!

Meeting new friends with like minds and like experiences was a highlight of the trip.

Kansas Representative Kevin Yoder's office.

Senators Jerry Moran and Pat Roberts' staff was gracious enough to hear our stories.

Children and Gardens: NEGLECTING either grows a NOXIOUS product

2015-04-25T10:15:00.001-05:00

Rainy, overcast days lead to sunny, dry soil and that leads to being a supportive community member. HUH? you ask.

Gardening...lawn care...property maintenance...digging...weeding...sweating...planting...spending...cursing...sun....bugs

and on and on!

PROPERTY OWNERS BEWARE...

Neglect is a passive form of abuse in which a perpetrator is responsible to provide care for a victim who is unable to care for himself or herself, but fails to provide adequate care.

......My hubs was not "neglecting" the family during this project! I just "neglected" to photograph him!

Maybe the funny hat hair subliminally asked me not to!

Labeling PILL containers

2015-04-09T06:02:00.001-05:00

GENIUS!!! Now anybody caring for my father's medical needs can administer his medicines and clearly identify each pill obtained by the pharmacy.

Here is my PINTEREST BOARD which includes helpful insights in the health challenges my father and mother have faced.

Teens, Tourette's and OCD: an upate after 3 years of silence

2015-04-05T02:37:00.000-05:00

My favorite color is blue. It makes me happy. I bought this purse after only a 3 minute search through the Kohl's 80 percent discount aisle in March of 2015. It reduced my stress.

I bought this book 3 hours later at a Barnes and Noble while hanging out with my handsome hubs, 16-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter. We looked like a normal, happy family just beginning a much deserved Spring Break and buying a few new books for our time-off.

But the day was far from NORMAL.....................

Our son had just met for 6 hours with this neuropsychologist: DR. JOSH HALL, to be evaluated for an IEP.

For at least 3 years prior to this day, my son with Tourettes had developed hormones and anger and independence and OCD. These raging chemicals in his body preparing him to pro-create and bring life to this lovely, beautiful and complicated earth created by a loving, all-knowing benevolent Heavenly Father, had caused much frustration with our relationship as parents. WE FELT HELPLESS.

Parents of teens remain silent on social media for the protection of their beloved offspring. Parents of teens with Tourettes are even more silent!

Our knowledge, support, love and guidance to our beloved son certainly did not stop during this time. I have gathered a lot of "digital" files and a stock pile of motivational quotes and phrases to help me navigate these treacherous years.

I've contemplated, persepherated, and rationalized posting these thoughts and wanted my words to be "just right."

This long, laborious and emotional process has been .....well ..... It has sucked big time!!

I am done trying to write the words just right and explain.... I AM JUST HITTING POST and moving on. Who will really read and digest this info anyway?

--Dr. Joshua Hall

LINK to my PINTEREST PAGE and information on Tourettes.

Current Plan of Action

1. Secure and maintain an IEP with local school administrators and other team members
2. Submit needed documents to the ACT to request more time
3. Sign-up for a one-on-one tutoring class in preparation for the ACT:
4. Investigate local community colleges and their offerings to specially abled individuals with IEP's
5. Continue to follow-up with appointments and medicine prescribed by psychiatrist, Dr. Battersson.

ACT accommodations--March 2015

TWITTER ACCOUNTS:

Stumbling into a cadbury "prize" depends on how fast you go!

2015-04-04T17:01:00.000-05:00

My exuberant daughter is seen in this video "stumbling" on an Easter candy prize!

How many times a day do we "stumble" into something because we were running so quickly through our day?

--a fantastic sale on a needed item
--discovering a long-lost "hidden" treasure we stored away in a SAFE place
--the other half of a favorite pair of shoes
-- cadbury eggs frozen in your freezer (bought for a $1 after Easter)
--a UPS package on our doorstep
--our children quietly engaging in a game together
--a spontaneous hug from a teenage son
--a hand-made card created by a kindergartener who is now in college
--a birthday card from a grandmother no longer living

These are "prizes" and when we take a moment to treasure them, are daily "runnings" are validated and we are affirmed of our divine callings as mothers!

Spring Break: what a difference 10 years makes--Part 3 (1990-2010)

2015-03-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

The "possibility" of meeting family/friends and the "reality" of making it happen

Participating in my brother's wedding was the catalyst for a 3-week road trip. Arrangements for this gathering took place a year in advance.

Past Several months before hitting the road to San Diego, we also contacted dear college friends and asked if we could visit them in Las Vegas while passing through. After several phone calls, the date was set and specific directions were given to their home. We got lost, AGAIN!

Present The FIRST day of our trip, while on a remote highway, I accessed my FACEBOOK account and left a message for two Arizona friends. Minutes later, I read my "in-box" messages on FB and began to make arrangements to meet. While waiting in line at Disneyland and Universal Studios, I logged-in again and like "magic" we secured the plans--when, where, how to meet in Arizon! Using our handy, dandy GPS, we NEVER got lost.

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ~From the television show The Wonder Years

Look forward to a post in

2020 listing the travel changes--

"Portable self-contained Urinals "

Imagine the Possibilities

Spring Break: what a difference ten years makes--Part 2 (1990-2010)

2015-03-29T11:38:00.001-05:00

Part 2---As families prepare to load up their mini-vans, suitcases, and stash of cash, memories of past vacations come to mind. This is the second of three posts reflecting on how technological advancements have changed how we prepare, plan, and participate in family outings.

4. We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong

Past-- We thought we had invented the genius idea of putting our cell phone number in our third son's fanny pack in case he got lost. During the 1 1/2 hours he WAS LOST, he never even thought to TALK TO A STRANGER and share our cell phone number. Because we only had one cell phone, we relied on WALKIE TALKIES to stick together. The problem was, so did every other of the 10,000 visitors to the park. Access to an open band was impossible. (we got lost MANY MANY MANY times)

Present-- A much more creative approach to preventing child endangerment (besides a parent's approach to discipline) is BLACK PERMANENT MARKER. A SPRINT texting plan and 4 phones worked wonders at preventing the inevitable separation that takes place with 6 people on different entertainment agendas trying to maneuver the park to see ALL attractions and get your $300 a day worth of FUN!

5. Creative ways to pack food and supplies to carry into the park so we could still pay our mortgage AFTER our vacation

Past As mom's of multiple children know, a stroller can pack a load of crap for any outing. Diapers, wipes, bottles, diaper creme, blanket, extra clothing, video camera, camera, sunscreen, sunglasses, water bottles, cooler, mini fridge, portable TV, rope, legal drugs, camel back filled with diet coke, etc...That is how we survived the theme parks with these 3 boys.
Present One VERY HEAVY pack carried by mom carried all the supplies we needed. Boost, water bottles, medicine, cell phones, camera, video camera, passes to the parks, etc.

6. Using the internet to secure lodging and entertainment
Past--A six to nine month reservation was required 10 years ago and yellow pages and AAA were a reputable source to gather information, although extremely time-consuming.
Present--Sites such as PRICELINE work like magic for finding an affordable and available hotel the day BEFORE needed and one can find a Walmart for food and supplies anywhere in the USA---except Orange and Los Angeles, County.

A balcony breakfast from a luxurious resort overlooking a golf course was our BEST FIND! Somehow, Dolly Madison donuts from Smiths, felt dummy downed for the occasion!

Spring Break: what a difference ten years make--1990-2010

2015-03-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

As families prepare to load up their mini-vans, suitcases, and stash of cash, memories of past vacations come to mind. What a difference ten years makes. This week, my posts will reflect on how technological advancements have changed how we prepare, plan, and participate in family outings.

1. Technology and the Internet

Past--We had to tote a small suitcase to transport maps and books from AAA in order to plan the trip; (still got lost MANY MANY MANY TIMES with emotional meltdowns in between) 5 pieces of paper contained typed important information as well as a calendar. The paper carried remnants of Mcdonald's ketchup at the end of the trip. We filed it away in a scrapbook as he drew a pretty great drawing of a cat. 4 months in advance, we began negotiation to secure the "right" price for accomodations and recreation.

Present--I carried an I-POD Touch that fit in the palm of my hand. Phone numbers, addresses, email, calendar, Wi-Fi access to helpful information--all at the touch of a finger. Activities to keep the kids entertained while waiting in line motivated me to ALWAYS have full battery power. (I would've stored virtual gum in there if I could!) We named our price on Priceline the day before we needed a hotel and arrived at our destination safely by listening intently to our friendly Garmin GPS with the sexy voice. (never got lost)

Itinerary--Day 1 and 2: Mini-van loaded with "entertainment" accessories kept everyone sane during the 2-day trip to NewPort Beach, CA. We booked our first night sleep in Albuerque at a Starbucks (free WI FI) 200 miles out of town. We were led their by our GPS to the hotel.

Using Expedia 3 days before we left, we committed to a CHEAP 3-day stay in Newport Beach 15 minutes from Disney and 5 minutes from the beach!!! Using the free WI FI in the hotel, we printed off 3-day passes to Disneyland and Universal Studios for 6 people. (we then transferred cash to make sure our account did not crash!) If looking for a place to stay, check out Disney Vacation Rentals

The "UNABOMBER" decided to join us on our vacation and appears in many pictures. The "disguise" provided needed protection from the harming sun's rays. Strong acne medication makes your skin vulnerable to damage.

2. Keeping everyone PLUGGED up or PLUGGED in

Past- A pacifer, fruit snacks, lollipops, gum, jolly ranchers, duct tape, etc. was used throughout this trip to keep the young from screaming. As persistent young parents, we encouraged many educational activities during the long road-trip such as reading, puzzle solving, math facts. ONLY a 1/2 hour into the trip, the fighting began. A western Wyoming Walmart was a welcome site as we dumped the old uncomfortable car seat and "installed" a new one to keep the prince happy. We would've paid anything to make him stop screaming. BEST IMPULSE purchase ever was the stand-alone DVD player. It may have sucked the brains out of the kids, but it kept them ALIVE!

Present-- With the purchase of our 2007 Honda Odyssey mini-van (a Carmax success story) keeping all 4 kids PLUGGED in was easy. (we never worry about sucking their brains out anymore, just our own SANITY) The only daughter could listen to Disney show tunes with the wireless headphones while the teenagers could listen and watch Harry Potter movies on the DVD and rock out to Green Day. The splitter allowed all 4 kids to listen to the DVD movie hanging from the wall while the driver peacefully made his/her music selection.

3. An independent fashion consultant

Past Wherever we traveled, Mom chose the wardrobe. Making sure all boys were matching was not only a fashion statement, but a safety factor. Traveling through all the parks with 3 boys made us crave caffeine and high doses of anxiety meds. These matching GAP shark shirts (found a deal) were tugged on many times, dragging the disobedient into the safety of the "gam."

Present-- Lists of clothing items to take and the number of pairs of underwear and socks were given to each boy in hopes that the chosen wardrobe would make it into the suitcase. A close observation in the photos taken, one will notice the SAME shirt, pants, etc on the teens each day. (Of course, my girl was dressed by Mom and willingly took suggestions of color choices). During a long line at Disney, I observed my youngest boy wearing a pair of shorts that DID NOT even ZIP up. They were two sizes too small. An experienced Mom just made him pull his t-shirt down.

God Made Us To Do Hard Things

2015-01-26T07:55:00.000-06:00

(originally published in 2013)

With the assistance of my Momma, a milestone that I have intensely feared most of my adult life was reached this week. Even though the agency of my father was breached, it was for his own protection.

As I sat across the table, for the first time, looking into the eyes of Dad's beloved financial planner whom he has respected and revered for many years, the weight of this meeting hit me. Tear-filled eyes brought me to my feet and I asked to be excused so I could collect myself.

Was THIS day really here?

With power of attorney in hand, I was prepared to speak on behalf of my father.

Financial affairs of my parents have always been handled by my Dad. Although not always in agreement with the handling of his assets, it was his free will and choice.

This meeting felt like I was taking his agency away, but for his own good and with his wife's approval.

Then a visual came into my head of my Dad in 1993. We lived in Milwaukee and my Dad and dog Muffy showed up unannounced on our apartment doorstep from Kansas!!! The walk to the park with 2-year-old Brandon being dragged by a very frisky and excited Lhasa apso would not leave my head ALL day!

Dad's quick pace and quick wit and the dogs short, quick legs kept us moving forward!! Despite the frigid Wisconsin January breeze, the 4 of us kept on freely running to our destination.

Even though THIS day Dad was not quickly running, nor freely choosing, moving forward to a destination was just as necessary.

So I dried my eyes, turned around, and walked quickly to face the next milestone in my life. Even though my Dad nor a dog were present to keep me moving forward, my free choice was.

Here is my PINTEREST BOARD which includes helpful insights in the health challenges my father and mother have faced.

Raising my Aging Parents!

2015-01-14T19:55:00.000-06:00

(originally PUBLISHED IN 2013)

My Dad is sick.

Very, very sick.

He spent 4 days in the hospital because of a bladder infection that needed IV antibiotics. He was also dehydrated. Since the holidays, he has fallen 5 times and needed assistance getting up.

He will only eat liquid sustenance, barely!!

He barely communicates!!

My wonderful, faithful, loving and kind mother has done her best to assist him in his daily needs and tries so hard to boost his spirits. She hardly ever leaves him alone.

He is weak, only gets up to have a bowel movement and spends the rest of the day in bed.

YES--we are being proactive with physician care, treatment, medicines and testing to determine possible causes!

He has lost 40 pounds since back surgery in April and a repeat surgery in July. He has not been very mobile.

But saddest of all: he is NOT my Dad who loves:

--to hear how old friends are doing
--to go to the SPA and listen and meet new people
--to watch BYU football or other sports on TV
--to attend his grandchildren's school and sporting events when available
--to spend time with his family and listen to his 4 daughter's talk about "chic" stuff
--to catch up with his only son concerning all things sports
--to talk and share stories with anyone who will listen
--to eat shrimp with his buddies
--to eat raspberry chocolate shakes from Red Robin or a McDonalds ice cream cone
--to play and cheat at card games
--to drive a truck that delivers food to needy people in rural communities
--to help stock shelves at our church's food warehouse
--to serve other people
--to play and take care of babies, children and his grandchildren
--to eat any leftover hospital food that the patient did not consume (Tonight, I ate my DAD's hospital leftovers)
--to be my DAD!

Today, after he only consumed four bites of chicken noodle soup and had two small bites of ice cream, he laid back in the hospital bed.

I loudly scolded him (oh, forgot to mention, he can barely hear) to be a BIG MAN and eat some more chicken noodle soup.

He did not say a word. Just silently smiled and laid his head on the pillow.

A few moments later, he arose, sat at the edge of the bed, and began to take a few more bites.

I most likely will never know if he did this because of my loud plee for him to eat or if he saw my tear-stained face and blood-shot eyes!!

He is still my Dad and I am happy to help him with his daily needs as he has always been there for me
and my family.

Here is my PINTEREST BOARD which includes helpful insights in the health challenges my father and mother have faced.

Diagnosis: Tourettes--5th grade presentation

2014-11-02T07:35:00.000-06:00

Just when you think you are settling into accepting a medical diagnosis that may change how your tween reacts in middle school, you show up at his middle school family fun night and observe him.

Quiet, sullen, alone and seemingly ignored around a crowd of energetic, happy and enthused tweens. Tears freely surface as I reflect on the other occasions (too many to list) that this observation has occurred.

No one knows their children like their mother and I have had the privilege to learn so much about my third son by participating in his medical appointments and therapies we have chosen to support to help him understand and deal with his tics and lack of attention.

He is honest, caring, capable, determined, talented, observant, and loved by so many--just not kids that attend his middle school!

Doesn't every parent want their kid to be accepted, loved, and included in school classes and activities?

In 5th grade, several classmates have inquired (some in more teasing and demeaning ways) as to why he does not stop his behaviors because it is annoying to them. He will stand in front of those students and explain to them all about his "syndrome" and educate them as to why he can't control his tics.

The Tourettes Syndrome Association and our psychiatrist provided us with a thorough presentation that is kid friendly. (contact me to learn more about the PowerPoint presentation)

My son says he is RELIEVED to be telling his peers and not nervous.

Here are other links to therapies we used during our son's elementary school years:

Habit Reversal Therapy with Dr. Ed Christopherson

Here is the list we used during our sessions of Habit Reversal Therapy

1. Send the tics to prisoners in China

2. Focus on "visual image" when anxiety arises--St. Louis Arch--in your mind focus on one very detailed part of the picture--car on bridge

3. When urge occurs, train the muscles to redirect--put tongue on top of mouth instead of outside of mouth

Research studies of Tourettes--Brain Imaging

Tics-R-Us

Cognitive Behavior Therapy

(this therapy proved most beneficial to me and not as useful to my son)

504 Plan

IEP Plan

My PINTEREST PAGE

Education and understanding is key to this syndrome and it is my hope to continue to do this with his peers, teachers, and leaders.

The is the reason I have opened this dialogue on my blog with hopes of providing a bright future for my son. He is a delightful boy with so much potential. Even though there is the hope that his tics will disappear into adulthood, he still needs to survive adolescence and all the challenges and trials that come with maturing.

Link to Tourette's Article

$200,000 x 4=YOU do the math! Raising kids is worth every penny?

2014-04-23T20:45:00.000-05:00

One aged Kawause Piano + elementary aged student + Dad's money + Mom's patience + faithful teachers=priceless memories! Each of our four children began studying this beautiful instrument while in elementary school. Although they are not Chopin or Beethoven, they are all able to produce a pleasing sound and their lessons were a catalyst for their interest in band instruments. If I counted up the money, time, and my brain synapses lost, it would equal the amounts given in this article. However, the costs of NOT pursuing these can not be measured.

Helping young children learn, progress, and master basic piano skills requires much parental commitment, support, and forgiveness--of your child and you. However, the results are worth the effort as seen in this video clip of my children through 19 years of music lessons and concerts!

Reasons we stuck with "funding" our children's music lessons:

1. Teaches children that they CAN do hard things

2. Provides positive, uplifting, and safe extracurricular activities through elementary, middle and high school years

3. Creates mentors with music teachers who in turn inspire and help build student's character

4. Builds everlasting bonds between parent and child through music

5. Music motivates students' to perform well in academics and other classes

http://www.ehow.com/info_12125893_music-motivate-learner.html

If YOU choose to "weave" a tapestry of music producers in your family, be prepared to:

1. Put yourself in Time-Out
2. Learn new phrases such as "chunk it", "V fingers", and root chords
3. Give up the latest trends in fashion for yourself
4. Drive used cars for the rest of your existence on this planet
5. Experience the plethora of sights, sounds, smells of a billion "band" concerts

Because our youngest is only 8, the "billions" of band concerts we get to attend will certainly rise, my fashion wardrobe will consist of styles from the '90's, and my "time-out" chair will need to be replaced with a "time-out" wheelchair!

But we will prosper..................

Toddlers teaching teens a lesson: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD!!!!!

2014-04-19T08:21:00.000-05:00

Although it has been since 2008 I had a toddler in the home, I'm convinced that if teens handled obstacles like toddlers, they would avoid a lot of pain and suffering. After viewing this video, reflect on the following principles of problem solving with your teen:

1. When challenges arise, tackle them with enthusiasm, quickness, and determination.

2. Despite your best efforts, detours will need to be taken and plans altered.

3. Thinking you have all the answers is a dangerous mind-set.

4. Relying on the advice of "Dad" or other trusted adults is vital to your safety and completion of a task.

Now go and enjoy your "Season" with your teen and toddlers!!!!

Rubbermaid MUST be on the holiday decor list!

2014-01-04T08:06:00.000-06:00

After spending an untold amount of money on Rubbermaid storage boxes and surviving hours spent looking for carefully crafted Christmas decor, lights, and extension cords long enough, but not too long, I have finally arrived at "my" tracking system! (It only took me 25 years!)

With this system, I can put up my decorations in one day (with the help of the children and hubby)!

ALL the items used to create a mantel, table, staircase, piano, etc. display are stored in a box and labeled as to where the items will be used. I even put lights and extension cords in the box and they are used only once a year. Quite possibly, this is wasteful, but it is worth the $1.50 it saves my sanity!

As the season approaches, the kids lift the boxes from their cozy basement long-term storage spot and haul them near the place that the label in the box directs. The garland strung with lights, ivy, ball, berries, ribbon, etc is then attached to its "home for the holidays" and like magic, Christmas joy is shared by all when the lights appear!

We all know that only in a "magazine" photo display do the lights ALWAYS work.

Half a strand here--- half a strand there--several light strands are found misbehaving!

This year, I even spent $12 to replace the batteries in a little device that is SUPPOSED to detect the burned out bulb so you can replace it. (Thankfully, my meticulous hero I married agrees to take this job) He fixed many a dud light strand this year.

Did I mention that plastic Rubbermaid boxes stack NICELY?

This large red box, when opened, reveals white plastic garbage bags labeled with numbers. I stored one strand of outdoor lights in a bag and labeled the bags in numerical sequence as to what bush they were used on. It only took 1 hour to put all the lights up! More time to make (and eat) Christmas cookies!

Boxes for the upstairs decor are stored in the attic so one does not have to drag the heavy load up the stairs. The same method works for these displays as well!

Do you think the cute "black and white" decoration will fit in the box for next year's display?

Children growing up way too fast and losing the magic of Christmas definitely is not one of my favorite things of the season, but spending time with them is!

"I am sharing my holiday home decor and cleaning tips for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls and Great Cleaners."

Homemade Nativity using Crayola's Model Magic

2013-11-02T14:08:00.000-05:00

Amazon.com sells this!

My google experience generally does not include browsing for craft projects to ~~endure~~ and create. My PINTEREST "craft" board is nearly empty, however, I do search for "kid-friendly" holiday crafts.
When I happened upon this "crafting" product, I was hooked.
Easy•••••Inexpensive•••••Limitless•••Engaging

Made by the trusted brand, Crayola, the clay-like substance is not only moldable for small fingers, but it is very lightweight for displaying, storing, and shipping. Young and old creative personalities enjoy working with and making something out of this affordable product. The clay dries quickly and can be brought to life with a little craft paint color or simply displayed in its natural form which comes in all primary colors.

And if it does not turn out how one envisioned...........

....no worries---it can be a one-time-use holiday-

Homemade Nativity

My 12-year-old boy and 6-year-old daughter were both intrigued with the possibilities, however, surprisingly, my ADD son, stayed with the task MUCH longer than the girl. He assigned himself to make the camels.

The painted wiseman carrying their gifts of gold, frankincense, and mire, were created by adults. Can you sense the "love" in the design of the headpieces?

Learn more here!

The oldest of my children will NOT be celebrating Christmas in our home this year as he is serving a two-year mission. Many of his peer group also will be spending their holidays away and us Mom's wanted to send a decoration for them to cherish and this homemade nativity was the answer.

One of the most important features of these figures is there portability! Nine sets were created and shipped to nine LDS missionaries serving throughout the country and world. We are aware that these sets may not make it home and felt secure in choosing this "magic" gift.

Confidently, us "missionary Mom's" accomplished our goal.

Having recently attended a nativity display, I was even more convinced that our homemade gift was the cheapest, easiest, and most convenient choice to send through the mail. Of course there are many other options, however...

Just imagine how a 21-year-old young man would pack in a suitcase these "homemade/pricey" projects?

Instructions here:

Purchase here:

Learn More:

Wooden Nativity How-to:

Wooden Nativity How-to

Purchase Here:

JUST HAD TO INCLUDE THIS NATIVITY!

What NOT to give a missionary for a Christmas decoration because their attention is best focused on serving others and NOT eating Chic Fil A.

Halloween "Themed" Costumes

2013-10-31T11:22:00.000-05:00

Parents work diligently to build strong sibling relationships while their children are in the home with the hopes of those bonds continuing into adulthood. With only 5 years in which to create a "complete" family bond, we were vigilant (sometimes obsessed) in providing circumstances to connect. Thus, Halloween family "themed" costumes began in our youngest's 1st year. One of our favorite family movies---Napoleon Dynamite--started us off.
Meet the cast of the popular 2004 show: Rex Kwan Do • Summer • Napoleon • Pedro • Kip • Deb

My creative husband provides the details, extras, and magic for the costumes, while I simply provide the sanity during the day of the big "reveal." Kids gotta eat you know!
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I chose the "theme" for this Halloween
Meet: Tin Man • ScareCrow • Dorothy • The Lion • The Wizard

Getting everyone to transform into characters from Wizard of Oz required some creative and psychological voo-doo as the teens were less than enthusiastic. Can you really blame a thirteen-year-old for not wanting to wear overalls and put a daisy in his pocket or a twelve-year-old for wearing a "funnel" on his head?

Posing for this picture ALMOST did not happen as hubby had to rush home as one of the Tin Man's parts did not make it into the van. Immediately after the shot, the older boys stripped out of their carefully crafted "Oz" costumes and slipped into the choices THEY wanted!

Nacho Libre

Goblin on his day off

Makes perfect sense, right?

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The Office cast Michael Scott • Jim • Dwight Schrute • Pam •

Allowing the teenagers to choose this theme was much more successful and the costumes were easier to put together---except for the hair gel! Although the youngest two did not quite fit the group, we did not break any laws not following the theme (it sure felt like we did as the number of people who accosted us the night of the reveal)!

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Cool kids dressed from the '60's! This is one of my favorite sibling bonding moments! Watching them dance together got a lot of laughs! Don't you agree!

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That's it! Our oldest was gone for this Halloween so no more family "theme" Halloweens! (insert tears now)! My husband out-did himself creating "Where the Wild Things Are" for himself and our third son. The teen put together his costume--self-absorbed!