The Anti-Jared

The comment part 3- Nine years of love

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:51:00 +0000

Over a year ago, I got this comment:

The Anti-Jared's Proud Wife said...

I've been reading my wonderful husband's blog for a few months now, and during that same time I've watched him come alive in a way that would make anyone smile. He's happier, healthier, has more energy than most people I know and is loving life. I love him and I am so proud of him for making incredibly smart choices every day.
To anyone who doesn't believe in the success or power of the changes he has made in his life, well, too bad. You're missing out. My husband and I are going to have a wonderfully, long healthy life together. I've said for months that I have WW to thank for that, but really, I have my husband to thank.
All our friends and family who have seen him evolve into a new man over the last 8 months are amazed. Anyone who eats dinner with him for the first time at home or at a restaurant ends up reconsidering what and how they're eating.
My best friend came to town this weekend; she hasn't seen my husband in person in over a year. She'd seen this blog and his pictures. She'd heard me brag about how proud I am. She heard me check and see if there were "snacks" she wanted me to pick up for our weekend other than the fruit, veggies and fiber-filled food that fills our cupboards. I'll speak for her and say, she was truly amazed.
It really doesn't matter whether or not you believe what I've witnessed. It only matters what my amazing husband and I know--he did this for himself and for us and for the rest of our lives.

10/12/08 10:06 PM

Nine years ago today, I met my wife.

I met her on a blind date

Which is funny, because I hate surprises

The blind date was at a bar.

Which is funny because I do not drink.

I knew the moment I met her I would spend the rest of my life with her.

Which is not that funny, but very true.

If you ask 100 people the meaning of love, you will get 100 answers.

So here is my take.

Love is not Valentine's Day.
Love is not Birthday's.
Love is not Christmas.

Those are easy. You know in advance to be sweet. You know you need to get a gift or take someone out to dinner.

To me, love is the hard day. The hard year. The times when you want to run away, yet you stand by someone's side.

It is the day you move to Buffalo because your "girlfriend" wants to be close to her family.
Love is trying to help your "fiance" lose weight while he is on his way to 420 pounds.
Love is learning together how to raise a beautiful baby boy.

My wife and I have made many sacrifices over the last nine years. We never dwell on them.

What we do is make each other better.

That is love.

I see so many people in unhappy relationships who think to themselves

"I wonder what I could have had?"

I think

"Man, I know what I could have lost!"

My wife never made a meal for me during my weight loss or maintenance.
She never worked out with me.
She has never gone to a WW meeting with me.

Yet, I could not have lost the weight without her.

For nine years she has made me a better person. She has pulled the inspiration and encouragement out of me. She saw "theantijared" when I was 420 pounds. When no one else saw it.

So today when we woke up, I looked out the window and got a little upset.

"You know, John (my neighbor) really needs to take care of his yard or I am calling the HOA!"

My wife looked out the window and with a puzzled look said:

"You are crazy. John's yard looks awesome!"

Yeah, but it does not compare to the really green grass on my side.

The comment part 2- A Prior's Passion for Perfection

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:28:00 +0000

A few months ago, I received this comment:

priorfatgirl's mom said...: You are right...we sure can point out what we don't love.
Thanks for the reminder
Kim; 7/22/09 10:09 AM

What would you do if you woke up one day and your life changed?

What used to be left was right.

What was up now was down.

What was right was now wrong.

How would you react?

How strong would you be?

I think about Jen's passion every day.

I think about the amount of strength she has to live her life although the most special part was taken tragically.

I think about her courage.

I think about how she is strong for the people around her. For her father, for the man she loves. How she is an inspiration to her sisters and her followers.

I read her blog and admire her more and more.

She is right, no one would care if she skipped the gym. No one would care if she ate Kit Kat after Kit Kat.

I would not judge. Jen's courage is amazing. Her journey is amazing, beyond the weight loss.

Yet, she does care. The beautiful girl looking in the mirror in Minneapolis cares.

And that is important. That is inspiring. That is fantastic.

Jen, I love your blog. I think you are a strong human being. I think you are beyond inspiring.

You have helped me know there is more to life than weight loss. So much more

I am also confident that there is one person who might not comment on your blog anymore, but is so amazingly proud of the person you have become.

Just like the girl who looks in the mirror day in and day out is. Keep winning the fight of life.

The Comment Part One: Weight Loss With Blinders On

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:13:00 +0000

I received this comment a few days ago:

Anonymous said...
Your blog is spot on.However, you have to give the real Jared credit, he lost a bunch of weight (though didn't put on the muscle you have put on) and has kept it off for more than a decade and he has turned himself into a brand and likely makes a good income for himself and his family. Not too shabby.It seems you are also trying to create a brand. You won't "sell out" to a corporation. It looks like you are trying to create a brand based on your personality which will eventually generate some income for you and your family. Again, not too shabby.How come we haven't seen any pics (perhaps I have missed them) since 8/21? I suspect the next set of pics is going to show a very lean and ripped muscular person (not that you aren't pretty close in your 8/21 picture) so that you can say you are one of the few to not only lose 200+ lbs but create a body builder physique at the same time (naturally).I think you have a business plan (brand defined by 200+ lb weight loss while working in a restaurant not eating in one, maintained for 24 months, very muscular but not muscle-bound build, done naturally and simply though not easily, straight talker but still humble, devoted family man, and not afraid to make people angry) and as a true capitalist, I respect that.Though I respect your lifestyle change and results more -- I have made acceptable progress in the last 6 months but have 3-4 months to go to fit into my goal clothes and I only have an outline for a maintenance plan -- still need to complete the mind shift that the habits I have now are basically what I need to do forever.Thanks for taking the time to write this blog.I look forward to the day when some TV show figures this out and has you and Jared on at the same time. Though I don't think Subway would allow that.
10/28/09 1:26 PM

I have read this over 100 times. At first I did not understand why it was anonymous.

It was very complimentary.

After reading it a few times, I loved the fact that it was anonymous, because so many people think this.

In fact, at one point I thought it as well.

Yet, it is very far from the truth.

When I weighed in at 198.8 pounds at my Weight Watchers meeting, I truly thought there would be balloons and confetti coming from the ceiling.

I was the "long shot", the 400 pound guy who lost over 220 pounds and changed his life.

I thought that the CEO of Weight Watchers would come out and shake my hand, and give me a key to the Weight Watchers city of Onederland.

I thought my leader would have called my family who would all be there, and they would have offered me a leader job.

I thought different news media outlets would be there to interview me about my weight loss.

Yet, all I got was a sweet comment from 87 year old Ethel, which was:

"Woot!"

When I left the meeting, I thought the clouds would part and there would be a beautiful rainbow.

I thought "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey would be blasting.

I thought that the birds would sing, and everything would make sense.

Yet, it was raining, no music was heard, and nothing made sense.

Honestly, after losing over 200 pounds, I felt like the world owed me something. I beat all the odds. I changed my life.

When I would see a success story on the Today Show, or one in Weight Watchers Magazine, it would frustrate me.

I mean, they lost 150 pounds, I lost 221.4 pounds!

What about me? I have sent you my story. Why are you over looking me?

That anonymous comment made me realize how foolish I am. I never got it. I never understood.

People who say that "Weight loss is a marathon not a race" do not understand weight loss.

Weight loss is neither.

You train for a marathon. You run a race. Then you cross the line, slow down and throw your hands in the air.

"Yes! I did it."

There is no finish line for weight loss. Once you hit your goal the journey has just begun. Once you hit the finish line, you realize you crossed the starting point.

I have a good job. I have a great family. I can do things now that I could never do. I do not want to be a full time weight loss blogger.

I just want to be normal.Something that I deserve.

I also love writing on this blog. I do believe that no one will be able to tell my story better than I would.

So whoever wrote that comment, I do say thank you.

You have sparked a new flame inside of me.

And you will learn a lot about me in the next few posts. What scares me, what inspires me, and why I will succeed.

Mega-Crazy-Fit-Her/Him-Blogoganza 2012 Part 1

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:03:00 +0000

Move over Roni and Blogher!

Are you ready for Mega-Crazy-Fit-Her/Him-Blogoganza 2012!

Well, since I never get asked to the Blogging Proms (Blogher and FitBloggin) I have decided to make up my own! Kind of like the USFL to the NFL. Well, actually, kind of like tag football to the NFL.

I am going to have my own conference. It will be a two day affair at the lovely TGI Friday's down the road from me. You do not need tickets, just make sure you order an appetizer when you come in. I hear the Pot Stickers are to die for!

Now, my conference is going to have a start studded cast of people speaking. Actually, I do not have anyone yet. But I am going to ask a few of your favorite bloggers to come out at talk about different topics.

Day 1-

Theantijared (The only one that I know will come out)-

Talk about how to turn off comments
How to make a 750 word post over an anonymous comment
Favorite apples
Jared vs. Tony
How to write a letter to Weight Watchers and blog about it over 75 times
The importance of double spacing

Since that will take up 30 minutes, I need to invite other speakers (This is the first round of invites, there will be more soon):

Invited so far to speak:

Jack Sh*t-
The importance of the * between the h and t
How to apologize to famous musical artists

Carlos-
How to use words like "F*ckt*attle" in a blog
Slurpees- Fact or Fiction

The Fabulous Fatties-
How to share a Twitter account
How to use the word FABULOUS in everything

Fat Daddy-
How to Rant!
Did I mention how to Rant!

Lyn-
Actually, I really do wish that FitBloggin and Blogher would ask you to speak. It is amazing how you put your life into such beautiful words. I just put you in because you are my friend (like everyone else on here) and I did not want to leave you out.

Diana-
Airports=Yuck!!!

Tricia-
How to buy a $2 Halloween outfit and be the toast of the town
Is it a good thing to be the "toast of the town" in Vegas?

Brandi-
TURBOKICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you ready!
Is Manhattan KS the same as Manhattan NY?

Now these are just a few people I am inviting to speak.

There will be more later this week, hence the part one. Lets make this a rootin tootin rockin fun time. Maybe I will even buy the first round of cheese fries.

Do you want to come? Tell me what you would talk about.

My life in pictures

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:51:00 +0000

Ahhhhem, where do I start. Oh yeah, my name is um, Tony, and I am um..........hold on. Let me get my notes out so I say exactly what I am feeling, although that cake looks tasty!

That is much better! My name is Tony Posnanski and I was over 400 pounds. I have been overweight my whole life doing diet after diet. I am not lazy, yet I was not very motivated. Living was hard, and it seems like food was the only enjoyment I have.
That is a shame I thought living was hard because I have a wonderful family, a great wife, and a beautiful baby boy.
Well, in February of 2008, I went to the doctor who told me I needed to make a change or I would not be on this Earth for very long. What do I do? I have dieted forever, why would this time be different?
Because I will not diet. I will change what I eat. I will be active, and I will become a better person.

So I said goodbye to being over 400 pounds in 2008.

And said hello to November 2009. Over 200 pounds lost, and the pictures to prove it.

5%

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:46:00 +0000

Well, tomorrow is Halloween. You know what that means.....

The end of 2009 weight goal dreams!

Well, it does not have to be.

Here is how it always went for me in the past

I would promise myself that I would not eat a lot of candy on Halloween.

I would make this promise, yet buy 10 pounds of Kit Kats to give out when only three kids came to my house.

After eating all the leftover Kit-Kats, I would make unfair deals with the neighborhood kids:

"I will eat your Twix and leave you the delicious Sweet Tarts!"
"Crunch Bars are gross! I will take those from you, and leave you that Double Bubble Gum!"

At the end, the "Fun Size" candies would amount to 6000 calories.

I would beat myself up, yet still have a Kit Kat wafer hanging out of my mouth.

Then I would try to get back on track. Never really did, but Thanksgiving was around the corner.

I remember going on the Internet and looking for great low calorie dishes to make for the festive holiday.

Every one of those dishes had green beans in it.

I would promise myself that this Thanksgiving would be different.

I would make that dish, and brag to everyone that I have Thanksgiving all figured out!

Then at the end of Thanksgiving, I still had a full bowl of green beans. Why you might ask...

The reason is that everyone else made classic items. Butter and Sugar galore!

I would say "only a bite", yet consume over 6000 calories.

I would try to get back on track, but Christmas/Hanukkah was around the corner.

I would try to tell myself that "Christmas/Hanukkah is about family and being around friends."

Yet, 6000 calories later, I was ready for January 1st with resolutions in hand, and 30 more pounds around the waist.

I would beat myself up for 60 days. Thinking I was weak, wondering why I could not do the "healthy lifestyle" thing.

Maybe I am the only one who has gone through this cycle.

Now, every day is the same for me. I learned about consistency.

But that is not everyone. So here is my advice, the advice I wish I would have listened to.

Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are three days. Basically , it is three days out of the final two months of the year.

That is 5% of the rest of the year.

Three days will not make anyone gain 30 pounds.

So enjoy those three days, guilt free! Eat what you want. Do not fool yourself with low calorie options. Eat the candy and your favorite items.

Concern yourselves with the other 57 days of 2009.

Weight Loss Advice

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:54:00 +0000

People who are successful with weight loss or fitness gurus love to give advice.

They want everyone to lose weight as well, so they just throw it out there.

Drink more water, it will make you feel full.
35 grams of fiber a day. Did you know most people only have around 8 grans a day?
Six small meals will help you feel full.

You have heard it all before. We all have.

Well, I was no different. When people would email me for advice, I would give the same generic information.

Yes, I lost 200 pounds by watching my Caaaaaarbs, and increased my Pro-teeeeiiiiinnnnn. Eggcellent! Hence the Egg!

Then something changed. I realized why I was different.

I heard a comment that someone made at a Weight Watchers meeting.
Then I heard it on the Today show from someone who lost over 150 pounds.
The last straw was when I was listening to Valerie Bertinelli getting interviewed and she said the same advice.

That piece of advice was:

"Remember, the first bite is the best. It will never be as good after that!"

That is when I realized that weight loss advice is stupid.

The whole reason I gained over 200 pounds is because the second bite is just as delicious as the third and fourth.
And then when I was done, I was looking in the refrigerator for more.

"God-Dammit!!! I know we have more Nutter Butters!

People hear that stuff and think "You know, they have a point. Why didn't I think of that!"

They are really thinking "Nah, it is still darn delicious!"

Maybe it is just me.

I mean, I hear people tell me:

"I can not believe I just ate a Big Mac!"

Where I hold one in my hand and say:

"Wow. These were much bigger in 1996. I better order two."

Sometimes I look at my wife and baby and wish I could be more mainstream. I lost over 200 pounds and transformed my body. I look different than most weight losers. I was over 400 pounds last February!

I wish I could believe that you could use the 35 Weight Watchers Points for anything.

If I did, they would have called or emailed me.

I wish I could believe that Jillian Michaels was inspiring.

If I did, then maybe I would have an email relationship with her.

I wish I lost my weight on a strict portion control diet.

If I did, then I could call Jared and get a sponsorship from Subway.

I changed the way I live my life.

I have maintained my weight for almost all of 2009. I did it by, and say it with me.....

Eating fruits, vegetables, and lean meats and working out with free weights

If I did not change the way I ate, and just lowered my calories while eating the same foods, I would be 303 pounds right now. I would be looking for anything to keep myself from getting back to 400+ pounds:

"What pill was that?"
"Challenge, oh I am so in!"
"I am going to get back on track tomorrow!"

I know this, I have done it for twenty years.

My portions would get larger and larger, and I would try anything to keep the weight off that I lost.

Yet, I have stayed the same.

Why, because I am different than I was.

I am okay with eliminating certain foods from my life. I do not remember them being delicious, but rather helping me not be able to live my life.

I still love working out. The foods I eat give me energy. Not make me feel bloated or sluggish.

I will never give generic weight loss advice. I have tried, and sounded like a goober every time.

I am not going to belittle you by telling you to move a little.

You should know that. I should have known that.

I am not going to tell you to eat less.

You should know that. I should have.

In fact, I am horrible with advice.

What I am brilliant with is waking up every day and maintaining.

Making sure I make choices I have known about for the last twenty years, yet now have the courage to practice.

Not fooling myself with a low calorie chocolate muffin that I will eat seven of.

So if you want advice, I am not the best person to ask.

Unless you look at my pictures on the right, they speak for themselves.

7/11

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:35:00 +0000

I live about thirty seconds away from a 7/11 convenience store.

When I was over 400 pounds I LOVED 7/11's! Slurpees galore!

They had Hostess Pies. Every flavor, which included chocolate.

As an overweight person, you have not lived until you have eaten a Hostess Chocolate Pie.

They had Little Debbie individual snacks.

They are a little bigger than the ones you buy in multi-packs, but it is a fantastic unhealthy snack at twenty five cents.

They had Cuban sandwiches. Oh yes, they will grill them upon request.

They had four microwaves with every microwavable snack known to man. Hamburgers, cheeseburgers, burritos galore. They also had a "King Size" Hot Pocket.

Pepperoni please!

They had all the candy bars. Yes, even the Heath Bar.

Mmmmm, Heath Bar.

They also had Taquitos. It was your favorite dish wrapped into a little corn tortilla.

Cheeseburger, Buffalo Wing, and Pesto Chicken.

They also had fresh pizza and wings.

I remember buying doughnuts, muffins and cookies as well. They were fresh daily.

Ahh, the 400 pound delight!

Well, the other day I was hungry, so I stopped at the one by my house.

I was shocked to see apples, oranges, pears and hard boiled eggs. They also had fresh fruit cups.

I bought an apple and mango. When I was checking out I told the clerk that I was happy to see the fresh fruit. He said...

"Huh! I have been here for six years. We always had fruit!"

Hmmmm, amazing the perspective I have after losing over 200 pounds.

My letter to Parenting Magazine

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:55:00 +0000

There I was sitting next to my wife while she was giving birth to our son.

There I was with a mask on in a room full of surgeons. I was already on pins and needles. This did not help.

During my wife's pregnancy I read a lot of books on parenting and childbirth. I have them all.

The funny thing is as many books as I read, I sat there not knowing anything, just praying for the best. You can not study for childbirth.

Our dream was to have a baby. That dream came true in October of 2008 when two lines showed up on a test.

I remember when I found out my wife was pregnant, I needed to be a better person. I was already a good guy, responsible, loving, and caring.

Now I wanted to be a great father. I had to find out how.

I asked all of my friends and family members what makes a great father. Everyone gave me different answers.

I am also very luck because I have a great father.

But I needed to find my own way.

My wife's pregnancy was rough. The baby was always healthy, but my wife pinched a nerve in her spine and was not able to be fully mobile for about six weeks.

During that time I took off work.

It was a job that I have put my heart and soul in for the last six years. It was hard for me to take time off, but it was harder for them. We have since parted ways, and I have no regrets.

So there I was on a June night in Florida. Next to my wife in the hospital, scared yet excited. Nervous yet overwhelmed with joy.

That is when something was different with me. I asked so many people what it takes to be a great father. I think I just had to go with passion and desire.

I want to be there for my son. I want to make an impact in his life. I want him to look at me as his hero. Just like I did to my Dad.

I hear about so many "deadbeat" Dads and fathers who do not want to take ownership for their children. It is all over the media.

Well, I wanted it. More than anything I have ever wanted.

I could not tell you if I am a good father. Hopefully my son will in a few years.

Around 9:40 PM in June I heard my son crying. So much emotion went through me.

That cry changed my life forever.

I was balling. I was trying to tell my wife the three words we have talked about for so many months.

And finally, after all the tears, I was able to say them....

"He has hair"

Side Note- I lost over 220 pounds in the last two years and maintained it for the last year.

Sincerely,

Tony Posnanski
AKA Theantijared (theantijared.blogspot.com)

Cookie Monster

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:30:00 +0000

I have been out of the diet loop for a while.

I used to know all of the hip new products coming out, and the cool trendy diets out there.

So it is odd that today is the first day I have heard of The Cookie Diet.

I did not read about it and I really do not know how it works. All I could think of was...

That sounds DEEEELICIOUS!!!!!!!

Growing up, there was always a cabbage diet or a grapefruit diet.
There was a diet where you could not have carbs and one where you could not have any fat.
There were diets that you could not eat anything after 3pm and ones that made you cry because all you could eat was ice.

But a cookie diet?

Well, that sounds fantastically shameful.

You are taking two words that are polar opposites and putting them together!

Kind of like that genius who put peanut butter and chocolate together. Mr. Reese I think.

Well, the cookie diet had me thinking a little today.

Maybe it was the cookie or the fact that I had to drive for over two hours to pick up a barrel of pickles.

Either way, here were my thoughts:

1. As a kid, is there no better treat than a bowl of Cookie Crisp for breakfast. I mean, it is a bowl of cookies. You look at your Dad when he gives this to you and think "Oh my God, he just gave me a bowl of cookies. He must be Willy Wonka!"
Yes, Cookie Crisp is a bowl of heaven!

2. I used to love chocolate chip cookie dough. The laziest person must have started this fad. He/she started to make cookies, and then said "Nope, don't have time to make cookies. I guess I will just eat the dough instead!"
By the way, that inventor was named Tony Posnanski.

3. How many chocolate chips can you put in a Chips Ahoy cookie. Every time I look at the package, they are always adding more chips. Why don't they just make a big chip with cookie crumbles around it.

4. Generic Oreo cookies are gross!!! I get generic products, but spend the extra ten cents and buy the real Oreo cookies.

Side note- I feel the same way about Pop Tarts.

5. How come Macadamia nuts are in cookies, but nothing else? Is there a salad that has them?

Then I got to think about diets that might be more exciting than the cookie diet:

The Fruity Pebbles Diet- Fruity Pebbles was the best cereal as a kid for me! Like a big bowl of Skittles!

The Cold Pizza Diet- Dipping the crust in Ranch dressing would be optional.

The Ben and Jerry's Diet- Any flavor would do!

The "Fun Size" diet- I think candy makers have it wrong. They make small candy and call it "Fun Size". They should take the King Size, double it, and then call that "Fun Size"

So after twenty years, I now see a cookie diet. Well, I will never try it.....

Nah, I got involved with the Apple Diet.

It seems to work.

"Fat Talk Free" week

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:47:00 +0000

I do not remember the exact day it happened.

I think it was around the Winter of 2003.

But I remember the emotion.
I remember the horror.
I remember the moment that changed my life.

I was in the bathroom. I did not feel very good. When it was time for me to wipe, I could not do it.

At first I thought I did not position myself correctly. So I got up and tried again.

No luck.

I remember shaking my arm. Maybe something was wrong with being unable to reach?

No luck again.

Then I tried real hard. I was sweating. I put a leg up on the bathtub. I turned and twisted as much as I could.

Then it hit me. I could not wipe myself any longer.

I remember standing there, with tears rolling down my face.

I was a failure.

Things creep up on you when you get big.

Booths at restaurants seem smaller.
Pants do not fit if you do not wear them every day.
You get mad at airlines and car manufacturers because they do not make seats big enough.

Yet it is you who is getting larger

I never told anyone I could not wipe myself anymore. There were ways I kept myself clean, but they were horrible. I could have bought a "tool" from the Causal Male XL, then people would know my secret.

Yeah, some secret!

Yet it changed the person I was.

I always felt like I smelled. I would carry around a bottle of cologne to cover the "smell".

I never wanted to be around people. I would tell my wife to leave me alone a lot. I would distance myself from everyone.

I hated myself.

I had pretty good self-esteem before that. I was over 300 pounds, and really did not care about my weight. People would tease, but I did not care.

Once that happened, my life stopped.

How could I be a great husband if I can not wipe myself?
How could I be a leader at work if I could not wipe myself?
How could I love myself if I could not wipe myself?

It consumed me. Yet, for years after, I would still eat like a maniac.

Then, in 2008, after a couple of months into my new lifestyle, at 353 pounds, I tried to wipe.

I was able to do so.

It was the second time I cried in a bathroom.

It never felt so good, and I realized I would never gain the weight again.

This post came about because I read about the word fat (which I have written about) and fat acceptance, and I guess this week is some sorority's "Fat Talk Free" week.

I get the fact that people need a better self image. They should not put themselves down. They should not call themselves "fat" when they weigh 135 pounds, and they should love the great qualities about themselves.

But when you read my blog, remember one thing....

When you are 420 pounds, size 60 pants, 5xl shirt, unable to wipe yourself, and called lazy at work, words like fat and overweight do not hurt.

What hurts is looking in the mirror and not doing something about it.

You

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 13:38:00 +0000

You!

Yeah, you!!

You are making me mad.

I do not know anything about you except for the 500 words you type every two days, yet you are a part of my life.

I know how you feel. I have felt like that for so many years.

First you make a weight-loss blog. I did not go looking for you. I found you stumbling on other websites. I started to read about your life.

You life is fascinating! You have parts that are just like me. In fact, I see a lot of you in me.

Every day I would wait for your updates. I started to get to know you. To root you on!

Lately, you have been disappointing me. Disappointing yourself!

Every week you say you are going to get back on track. This is going to be your week. October is going to be your month. 2009 is going to be your year.

Well......

Every day you make silly mistakes. I see you 5-20 positive comments that say everything will be okay.

I try to be positive, along with others, but it gets hard:

How many times can you leave your healthy lunch at home? I bet if you had apple pie you would not forget it. Plus, what part of town do you work at that everything is unhealthy, a carnival?

How many times are you going to be on Twitter at 6:30am to tell us it is going to be a great day? While you are looking for motivation from Mizfit, Roni, and theantijared, you should be making a plan on how you will be successful. Instead of tweeting at 6:30am, why not do it at 9:30pm to tell us what a great day you had?

How many weekends are you going to blow it? You do great all week only to tell us that this weekend was horrible. What gets me is when you type "I don't care, it was worth it". Although I replied that this week will be different, deep down I know it will not be. And I hate the fact that you are fooling yourself!

How many times do you have to be selfish. You have a wife/husband, kids/animals. You have family who loves you, yet you can not get it together. Are you waiting for the pizza diet? Are you waiting for another challenge that you will quit after three days?

How many holidays are you going to eat what you want? Spend time with your kids/husband/wife instead. Go for a walk for God's sake. Do you really need to eat everything in sight after doing so well during the week?

I do not want to care, but I do.

I see you week in and week out making the same mistakes.

I want to comment honestly, but then I sound like the jerk. I lose followers.

I am the bad guy!

Yet I do care. I want you to succeed. Not for me. It does not matter one way or the other, I will still do what I need to do to survive this lifestyle.

I want you to succeed for you. For your family. For your kids. I want you to know what it feels like to make sacrifices every day and go to sleep knowing you are a hero.

You keep telling yourself this is a lifelong journey.

Okay, well...you need to know the most important thing about a journey is starting.

Am I talking to you?

Well, probably.

Blizzard

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:50:00 +0000

When I was 420 pounds, I was at work when an employee asked me if I was married.

Before I could answer, I heard in a very loud voice, with many people around:

"Well, Porkchop ain't married to Jenny Craig, that is for sure!!"

Now, when you hear this, you get nervous.

You get nervous because it is funny.

After hearing 1000 fat jokes, if you think it is funny, then everyone around you will think it is funny.

Once someone makes a funny comment like that, you are in what is know as:

The Blizzard of Fat Jokes!

There is nothing you can do. No matter how many comments you make back, you will get hit.

You just have to stand there and take it.

It was rough, but I got used to it. I mean, I am short (5 foot 6), bald, and was overweight.

No matter what I said, an Uncle Fester comment was on the horizon.

Well, during one blizzard, someone made a comment that kind of changed the way I looked at myself. Someone said:

"It is a shame you are so fat. You are proportioned, like a fattybuilder. If you actually gave a sh*t, you would be a beast."

He was right, I was very proportioned.

I had a huge belly, but I also had huge arms and huge legs.
I had huge ankles and a huge neck.

Being proportioned gave me my love for working out.

I love the science of bodybuilding. Not the steroids or the meal replacement shakes or the stupid "Go Heavy or Go Home!!!!" motivation, but the principles behind the workouts.

I have tried so many workouts.
I have done the "P90X" stuff, but I did not like it.
I have done machines, but was not a fan of them either.

No, I am a free weight guy. I love free weights.

I love bench pressing, deadlifts and squating.

I do not wear work out gloves. I love to feel the weight in my hands. I love the feeling of pushing and pulling weight.

Squats are my favorite exercise. The beauty of being 420 pounds is you are going to have big legs. I mean, you are carrying that weight all the time anyway.

I do not wear a pad on my back when I squat. I love the feeling of 315 pounds and the courage to push it up.

While some look to Jillian Michaels, I look at Joe Weider. When some look at Tony Horton, I look at Arnold Schwarzenegger.

When I am at the gym, I look at some people who have huge arms but little legs. Or someone who has huge legs and little arms.

Then I look at my short bald self and smile. Being 5 foot 6 finally paid off. I am proportioned.

I am a little beast.

So luckily I have not been caught in a blizzard for some time.

Florida has its privileges.

Don't you wish.......

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:43:00 +0000

Don't you wish.....

A weight loss blogger who has not blogged in over six months would update their blog with "I know I have been gone, but I lost 50 pounds over the last six months!!"

You really could blame McDonald's for your weight gain

You could gain muscle without working out

Alli helped you lose weight instead of the fear that you that if you eat to much fat you will crap you pants

There were no holidays, or if there were holidays they had nothing to do with food

A diet pill really worked. I mean really worked!

Apples were fattening and pizza was low calorie

You would not open a magazine and see incredibly skinny models that make you feel like crap. Men and Women both!

The media would focus on great men instead of Dave and Jon who can't keep it in their pants

You would win the lottery

Doughnuts were banned from offices and anyone who brings them in would get a minimum five years in prison

You could post your weight as what you would weigh on the moon

Well, keep wishing on those!

Smart choices, courage, being happy with a .2 pound loss, confidence, some sort of fitness...

Make those a reality.

Buffalo, NY

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:12:00 +0000

In 2001, my wife Rebecca (girlfriend at the time) came up to me and said :

"I want to move back to Buffalo, NY."

Now, we lived in Charlotte at the time, where I grew up.

I have lived in many cities, but Charlotte is by far the most beautiful city I have lived in. The people are nice, the streets are clean, and the economy was booming!

My family lived in Charlotte. I had a great job in Charlotte. There was no reason to leave.

Rebecca wanted to move back to be close to her family. That was her home town. We only knew each other for a little over a year. We got along really well, just like today.

If you've never been to Buffalo, here is how you can get the experience:

Go to your freezer, stick your head in, then punch yourself 20 times in the face.

That's Buffalo!!

When Rebecca said she wanted to move back to Buffalo, without hesitation, I told her I would go with her.

She never asked me to move, but I knew she wanted to. It was important for her to be close to her family. She never had to ask me, because I would always sacrifice for her. Just like she would do for me.

We lived in Buffalo for about a year and a half.

Every day I would pray it would not snow. I do not think God had time for Buffalo.
I worked for much less than I deserved. My boss was a real Scooby Snack.
The city was filthy. No one just moves to Buffalo for a change. Most people who live there want to get out, like prison.
We struggled with money. There were tense times, yet we made it through.

Sacrifices have made my life better. It has made my relationship with my wife better.

It has made me better.

After losing over 200 pounds now, I know I could not have done it without my wife.

She is the one that would run errands so I could go to the gym. The one that would buy apples for me. The one that would tell me I should write a book.

Every day, I love my wife more and more. We have our moments, but we are both very good about picking out battles.

I do think the relationship I have with my wife has everything to do with weight loss. I am with my wife for life, just like my eating habits.

I do not mind sacrificing certain foods. I know the end result.

People think that weight loss will come to them. They will wake up, read a motivational quote on Twitter, and everything will come into play.

"Ohhhh, I get it now!"

Well, it is not like that. There are hard choices. Sometimes it is not popular with your friends.

It is easy to drink beer with the guys. It is hard to tell them no.
It is easy to eat your Wife's brownies. It is hard to tell her to give them away.
It is easy to watch TV. It is hard to go to the gym day in and day out.

This is a lifelong commitment, not something for a couple of weeks.

Anyone can lose six pounds in a week. Eat like crap five days, eat less the sixth, take off your shoes, get naked and jump on the scale on the seventh.

You are not fooling anyone!

It gets easier, but it is how much you put into it.

Just because you do well one day does not mean you can eat what you want the next two days.

Weight loss is funny. Just when you think you understand it, it hits you in the face.

Just like Buffalo.

Hmmmmmmm.....

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 01:27:00 +0000

Tonight I had a choice to blog or cook for my wife.

I will be back tomorrow

Awards

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 11:12:00 +0000

When I was a freshman in high school, I won the top thespian award.

It was a huge deal for me. I was really involved in drama. I was the lead in both plays at school.

I worked real hard to memorize my lines and I did a great job in the plays.

I received the award at an assembly at school. Both my parents and brother came to see me receive the award.

It was a shock that I won it. As an overweight kid, it felt good to succeed at something

Now, when I went up to get the award, I did not have to tell 10 things about myself and then give the award to ten other people....

Which is why I do not understand Blogger awards.

I do not get it. You get an award that someone designs on their website. At first you think:

"Wow! Someone really likes me. They love my writing!"

Then you realize they gave the award to ten other people. I mean there are millions of bloggers out there, you are one of ten.

Okay, you still feel special, but still, ten other people?

Then you have to do some work. You have to write a couple honest things about yourself.

Well, isn't that what a blog is? Honest things about yourself? Now I have to write more?

Then you have to give the award away to other people?

Wait, I just got this award, now I have to give it away?

Not fair!

Here is what gets me though. I do not understand why people give this reply:

"I know I am supposed to give this award out, but, I like so many blogs, I can not give it to only ten, so I am not giving it to anyone."

That is weak. If you actually do receive the award, you can not think of ten other bloggers?

Whose feelings are you going to hurt?

Listen, I am no ding-a-ling! I lost over 200 pounds. If I did not, my blog would not be popular. My sentences make no sense sometimes. I think people like my actions more than my words. In fact.....

I am sure of it.

There are some people who I love, yet their blog is not for me.

I love weight loss blogs.

Lyn, Carlos, Jack, Diana,Tony, Tony, Tony, Fat Daddy, Jen ,Mary, Sean and many others appeal to me because they talk about the struggles of weight loss.

There are some bloggers who write about cooking, fitness and parenting that their blog does not appeal to me.

Yet, I love the people who write the blog. How they support me and others.

It is not mean, just how I feel.

So maybe one day I will win an award for my blog. I still have a lot of work to do.

But I have written over 1000 honest things about myself already. Do not ask me to write ten more.

Get Jack to 1000 followers!

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:19:00 +0000

Something has been on my mind and I need to say it.....

If you are not following Jack Sh*t's blog, do so.

I have read a lot of weight loss blogs. There are so many great ones out there.

But, I have never seen someone put so much effort into each post. Someone who comments and cares about every one in this community.

He has 474 followers right now. He should have 1000.

Jack, you have called me your arch nemesis in the past. I have something to call you as well...

My friend

The Maintenance Man

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:40:00 +0000

I am a lifelong dieter.

I have done it for years. I know how to lose weight.

I know when my head is in the game. I know about those "special" days where you can start eating well. I know that if I do not eat well on January 1st, then my year is shot.

Now, if you are a lifelong dieter like me, there is one thing that scares you.

Maintenance. How are you going to keep the weight off?

2008 was a great year for weight loss for me. I lost over 200 pounds in less than a year. I followed a plan that worked for me and I learned how to work out.

Really work out.

But how was I going to keep it off?

It is fun to post your loss each week, and have so many people root you on. It motivates you every time!

But what do you do when the stage lights are off and the curtain comes down? When you eat "healthy" for life to maintain your loss? When life is your time limit.

Well....you live a great life.

2009 has been an amazing year for me. Yet, I have not really lost any weight this year.

I started the year around 200 pounds. I am probably around that weight right now.

Each week, I eat just to maintain that weight. I workout to get stronger.

Yet, every day I do it, I get more confident with myself.

I realize that this is something for life.

In 2008, this was a little harder.

I hated going to the gym at 420 pounds. Walking in with no socks and my untied Adidas shoes sucked. I knew people were looking at me, and I also hated only being there for 5-10 minutes.

Yet, when I would lose 8 pounds in a week, I knew it was worth it. I had my fans cheering me on.

I hated "depriving" myself of certain foods.

Yet, I realized I never deprived myself. I just altered the way I ate. I have always been a "weird" eater.

Now, it is for life.

I show people my before picture and they laugh.

"Who is that. That is not you. What do you think I am, stupid!"

It is true. I look nothing like my before picture. It is not like I look "thinner" or "better". I do not look anything like Tony Posnanski in early 2008.

I have veins in my arms and neck. I have muscle definition. I am a athlete.

That is why this blog is so important to me. I need it!

I have forgiven myself for getting to 420 pounds, but I will NEVER forget.

I will not forget the humiliation or struggles. How much I put my family through, and how much I put myself through.

That is also why I will continue to leave my comments off. I do not need to be the most popular, just honest with myself.

If you would like to to leave me a comment, good or bad, I have my email, Facebook and Twitter.

So I plug away at this everyday.

No more huge scale victories.
No more NSV's.
Thanksgiving will be easy for me, and so will every holiday.

Every day I will workout harder than the next. I am maintaining, which is not as scary as I thought.

The best part is it does not matter what I weigh now.

As long as I remember what it was like to be 420 pounds.

8 things that I need to get used to

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 23:02:00 +0000

1. The employees at my grocery store do not ask me if I need help with my groceries. They used to ask me all the time, but now I look like I do not need help. Hey, it would be nice if they asked!

2. I can fit in a restaurant booth. I still look at a booth and cringe. I need to realize I can fit into one comfortably now.

3. I can put on a seat belt in my car. I still drive without it on sometimes, then remember I can wear it, and put it on quickly.

4. I can tie my shoes. I still walk around with my shoelaces untied.

5. I do not need to go to a handicap stall to use the bathroom.

6. I have not chafed in over a year, not matter how hard I sweat.

7. People ask me for advice at the gym. I have to get used to that. A lot of times I just stare and walk away.

8. I will not gain this weight back

My letter to Prevention

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:14:00 +0000

Dear Prevention Magazine,

My name is Tony Posnanski.

I have written you about my 220 pound loss in January. You wrote back that in order to be considered to be featured, I would have to maintain the loss for at least six months.

Well, I have maintained my loss for ten months now (Pictures are on my blog at theantijared.blogspot.com). I have gotten stronger and more confident.

As someone who has struggled for so long, it is a weird feeling to know that this is something I can do for the rest of my life, not "Until Christmas".

Well, I have been asked how I lost the weight by so many people.

Today for the first time, I am going to give a glimpse of my success.

The Twix Bar
By Tony Posnanski

It is 2am.You are in a horrible mood

Work was rough for you today. Why do you even work there you ask? They have no respect for you. All they do is yell at you for no reason.

Your husband is in a bad mood. You tried to put him in a better mood, but that just made him more angry. You wish he was more supportive!

You can't sleep. This new diet is killing you. It doesn't matter though, tomorrow you will show a loss.

You snuck a peak on the scale today and it said you lost three pounds!! Yeah, three pounds!

Either way, you go to the fridge at 2am like you have for so many years. It is like a force of habit.

You open the freezer and you see a gold wrapper that you have not seen in a while. Tucked behind the frozen broccoli that you have devoured all week is a King Size Twix bar, all frozen and ready to be eaten.

No one will know or care that you ate it. Your husband is sleeping. He is not supportive of your journey anyway. He said he likes his women "curvy".

Work will not care. They think you are weak anyway.

The scale said you lost three pounds this morning. You do the quick "weight-loss" math that all dieters do.

Hmmmmmm, a Twix Bar divided into a three pound loss taken away a mile run and multiplied by not wearing shoes to the weigh in equals a 2.4 pound loss.

So you would still have a successful week. No one would know you ate the Twix, nor care. Except you!

What do you do?

That is why I am successful this time. I care. The most important person cares.

Weight loss is not about diets, it is about courage.

The courage to make the right decisions when no one is looking. To make these decisions day after day, week after week.

People do not realize it, but when you start making these types of decisions work gets better, your spouse looks at you different, and you start looking at yourself different.

You walk straighter, you pants fit better, and all of the sudden you are a new person.

These decisions are hard at first, actually seem impossible.

Once you start making the more and more, it gets easier. Life gets easier.

If you do not get this email that is okay. I am on this journey for life. I will send another one in a few months.

Sincerely,

Tony Posnanski aka theantijared

I absolutely hate the Biggest Loser

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:34:00 +0000

Warning- Biggest Loser Spoiler Ahead!!!!

I absolutely hate the Biggest Loser! I hate everything it stands for and what it is about.

I hate Jillian and Bob. I hate the fact that they yell and scream at the contestants to "push them harder".

"You can do this!!!!! Stop whining!!!!"
"I can't!"
"You are pissing me off. Do this!!!!"

I hate the fact that people think this is what losing weight is all about. Shreds, Camouflage, Boot Camps, and "In Your Face" confrontations.

That is not what fitness is about.

Fitness is about making smart decisions at the gym.

Fitness is about pushing YOURSELF, not having someone else push you.

Yet, that is what the "trainers" do. I see it at my gym as well.

At 420 pounds, I hated everything about me. How I thought I was weak, how I thought I needed someone like Jillian to help me lose weight.

I never played a sport in my life. I went to the gym for a short time in the past, but mainly used the machines.

During this journey, I never had a trainer.
Never had someone yell and scream at me.
Never had a life coach.

I made hard decisions. I resisted the Snickers bar in my freezer. I looked at the positive of being at the gym for only six minutes.

Every day I made a commitment to get better. I still do.

Where the "industry" told me to eat six small meals a day, I knew I would have to be different. I was not going to stop eating at 5pm.

Where the "industry" told me to use "muscle confusion" in my workouts, which I will never ever understand no matter how many times you explain it to me, I didn't.

Where the "industry" told me to try the "famous herb in some South American Village that miraculously works" I never did.

Where the "industry" told me I should not "deprive myself" of certain foods, I did. That is the best decision I ever made.

So the Biggest Loser sits there.

Millions watch.
Millions think that is the way to lose weight.
That you need someone to yell at you.
Where you need to be motivated by money?

There is no maybe about it anymore. I am different. I turned my life around. I eat like an athlete and workout like one, yet I never have been one. I turned this 420 pound man into a machine. I am a little selfish now, but will always be driven by unselfish reasons.

I will tell you one thing though.....

Jillian, Bob, or anyone else will not have to motivate me.

I do just fine on my own.

Motivational Quotes

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 13:43:00 +0000

I took a leadership class in high school.

We each took turns to give a"motivational quote" each day.

Well, when it was my turn, I had no idea what to put up.

I was thinking about it when I saw a Orkin commercial where the "pest eliminator" said

"Just remember! For every one cockroach you see, there are 1000 more you do not!"

Well, sounded good to me!

So I put that quote on the overhead projector the next day, and the reaction from the class was funny.

They looked at the quote as if it was profound. Like there was some hidden meaning.

I just wanted to get a stupid quote up.

Well, my teacher did not find the quote profound. After class, she took me aside and told me how disappointed she was:

"You know, leaders lead by example. I asked for a motivational quote, and you put up something stupid. You are not a leader."

Now, I am very respectful to authority. I always have been and always will be. But I did say something to Mrs. Windle that I should not have:

"Well, motivational quotes are stupid. I am not going to be motivated by someone else's words. I might not be a leader, but I am not a follower either."

Almost twenty years later, I still feel the same way.

I hate motivational quotes. I hate the fact that people try to say something so fantastic.

I hate the fact that people look for them so they can make it trough the day.

Dieters always look for motivational quotes. They feel the need to be inspired by others.

People need to inspire themselves

They want that "magic trigger". When they are having a bad day, they can look at a poster or Twitter and see some quote:

"Reach for the stars! You might get one, and they are low calorie!"

They see the quote and then think "Thank God I just read that! You are right, life is not about food.

Why didn't I think of that!"

A quote does nothing for me.

People inspire me. People motivate me.

Anyone can make a quote.

Were those people great mothers/fathers?
Did those people follow through with their goals.
Were these people as inspirational as their quotes?

I get inspired every day by looking in the mirror.

Actions speak louder than words.

Well, there is one quote that does inspire me:

"Medium"

-Hanes Corporation

I live by it every day!

Holidays

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:53:00 +0000

So I can understand people struggling with making poor eating decisions on Thanksgiving. It gets tough year after year.

Every year the best chefs in the family come out to make their "signature" dish.

The smell is intoxicating, so you taste a little, then eat a little, then eat it all.

I get it.

I understand people struggling on Christmas. The same thing happens. A honey ham, some delicious sides. It gets rough.

Halloween with all of those delicious "fun size" candies. Does it really count if it is "fun size"?

Valentine's Day- Going out to dinner, getting chocolates

New Year's Eve- Champagne, Finger Foods

Now here is what I do not get.....

Memorial Day? Labor Day? Fourth Of July? Arbor Day?

People make excuses to eat bad. It is like a justification.

It is okay, it is Columbus Day!

Every year there are the same holidays. Every year, the food is the same. There is really nothing special about it once you sit down and think about it.

Yet we struggle with it. Everyone else is eating mashed potatoes, I am going to as well.

Holidays were never the struggle for me. A holiday is just one day, and one day will not make you gain 200 pounds.

Nope, it was my mentality on those days. How confident I was that tomorrow would be different.

Then "tomorrow" I would eat the same. I would eat that way for weeks, and then months.

Now I tell people that there is nothing I have not eaten. Nothing about food is special to me.

People want to make food so special. Like a treat.

Seeing my son smile is a treat for me. Going an extra five minutes at the gym is a treat to me.
Having my new boss tell me to "slow down" because I move so fast is a treat for me.

Food is not a reward. I am not a dog. I am not working hard in life for a cookie.

So I will always enjoy holidays. To spend time with my family, to make memories.

But for the food.....

Food will not define me anymore.

Comments Off

tlp14221@aol.com (theantijared) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:25:00 +0000

I wrote in a post that "People do not change".

Very few people agreed with me, which I expected. Well, I am going to explain my philosophy.

To me, it would be very easy to tell people that I changed. That I eat differently and workout hard because I am a new man. I have a changed perspective on life. I think it would be easy to tell my wife that I changed and that is why I am a great father. It would be easy for me to tell you that I lost 200 pounds because I changed.

I could erase my past and blame it on laziness and selfishness.

Well, here is my issue.

When I look in the mirror, I see the same person. Someone who was always confident. Someone who is very humble. Someone who puts forth effort in everything he does.

I never changed.

Now comes the hard part. Now comes the big why?

Why did it take me so long to lose the weight?

This is something I need to understand about myself. I have to find that out. I have been dieting unsuccessfully for 20 years.

Now I know my limitations.

I know that extreme confidence will destroy a program.

Why am I writing about change. Well, I tried to change one aspect of my blog, and I could not do it.

Now, there is something different about my blog. I have turned off my comments.

There are a lot of different reasons why.

1. I would not understand why someone would comment on my blog, and then stop commenting all of the sudden. It would bother me.

2. I never understood why some crappy posts that took me 3 minutes to write would get 50 comments, yet a great post that I was proud of would get 7.

3. Comments would ruin a post. I have said this before, but when I put up the post"Normal 420 Pounder" it bothered me that the first comments were about me being honest on a post that was a complete farce.

4.I would skew my posts based on how many comments I would get. I would not write from the heart, but what you would like.

5. A lot of comments were not heart felt. It was kind of like "Hey, I am commenting on your blog, why don't you comment on mine". Or comments that had nothing to do with the post but about their weight loss journey.

"I love that you wrote about Rebecca! You know, I lost 40 pounds in 3 years, and once I met a woman in Target named Rebecca and she was great! Remember, 40 pounds in three years!"

Now, do not get me wrong, most have left me some amazing comments.

Those are the same people that also leave me awesome Facebook comments,Twitter Mentions and fantastic emails. Those mean more to me than a comment on my blog.

Here is the main reason I turned off my comments:

I tried to love it.

When Jack Sh*t called me his "Arch-Nemesis" because he loved leaving comments, well.........

I had to Google"Arch-Nemesis".The first word on the definition was "evil".

I am not evil.

No, in fact,I am a very caring person. One that worries if his son is okay all day long, and his wife is doing well. One that makes every decision based on his family and friends.

So I tried. I left some stupid comments on blogs:

"AWESOME!!"
"Way to go!"
"Nice blog design!"

I hated it. It is not me.

Do I have to leave a comment on Lyn's blog for her to know that she is my favorite weight-loss blogger? Where so many blogs are getting lost in Blogher Conventions, starting new blogsites, not writing about weight loss, and product giveaways, Lyn's blog is just a straight up awesome account of her life. Her victories and struggles.

Do I have to leave a comment on Jen's blog to let her know how courageous she is? How much admiration I have for her. How strong she is? How she is handling a situation better than 99.9% of the population?

Do I have to leave a comment for Sean to let him know how great it was to speak to him on the phone. How he lost 200 pounds the way I wish I could. How much admiration I have for him, and why he is a great success story.

No, I do not.

We live in a world of technology. I have Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and a email account.

If you love something I write, you will let me know. It will mean more because you will put forth the effort. I never reject a Facebook friend, and I try to reply to quick emails, not ones that ask for my whole workout regimen, which I am still trying to work on that email.

Also, if you disagree with something I say, it will mean more from a email. I will respect the opinion better than one from a anonymous commenter, or one who wants to get their blog name out my chastising me on my blog.

My decision is weird. In fact, I do not know another weight loss blogger who has done it.

Here is what I do promise. My blogs will be more honest, and better written. They will make you laugh and cry. You will love me some days and hate me on other days.

Either way, I hope you read it.