The Antithesys Show & The Pirate Show

Alas, The Pirate Show is No More...

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 10:27:00 -0800

Well, what took about 9 Months to record, edit, post, compile and what-have-you took only 10 Minutes to take down. It would have only taken 10 seconds, but stupid blogger doesn't have a "delete all" or "delete selected posts" function. So I had the pleasure of deleting all posts one by one. The Pirate Show (officially known as "Eric V and the Pirates") is now a memory.... and a gaping hole on my blog. We have the shows archived on CD-R, and I'll be burning them down to 1 DVD-R to consolidate everything. If you are seriously interested in obtaining the entire Pirate Show Series, let me know and we'll work something out.

At this point, I am unsure of my podcasting future.... not that there are many of you who give a tiny rat's butt one way or the other. After podcasting on a show with 3 other people who can carry the conversation and fill the voids in silence, it makes it exponentially harder to motivate myself to record on my own. Nevertheless, I will figure something out and post the results.

Until then, I will leave you with the wisdom that came to fruition during the life of Eric V and The Pirates:

Points of Wisdom:

Old cliches are so outdated. It's time they get an Extreme Makeover: Cliche Edition. Some of the new cliches should include such gems as:

· When the fish is in the bucket, you know it.
· The gravy’s always lumpier when YOU make it.
· It’s a taco, not a hat. Just eat your food and quit trying to wear it. You’re embarrassing us and everyone is looking at you. Yes, you have to eat…

What if, instead of the Super Bowl, someone got confused and it was supposed to be the Superb Owl... and now, instead of a really awesome bird of prey that can turn its head like 358 degrees, we ended up with a football game that can't turn its head in any direction...

All I'm saying is, if you can't have your cake and eat it too, what's the point of spending the money to just stare at it? Either eat the cake or don't buy it.

If you have the Guinness Book of World Records's tallest man living in your country and you find yourself employing him to use his giant arms to reach down into the stomachs of dolphins who have swallowed plastic pieces from the sides of the tank they are in just so they won't die, you are not properly utilizing your resources. At least make the man pick fruit from tall trees, I mean, come on.

If I was a baker, I'd create a food I would call "Stocking Stuffing." It would be much like the stuffing you put into a turkey at Thanksgiving, but with this stuffing you would fill children's Christmas stockings. Then, on Christmas morning, when the children run downstairs and reach their arms deep inside of their stockings, they would be shocked to pull out handfuls of delicious, edible "Stocking Stuffing."

Sure, when someone involved in Voodoo dismembers a person and hides the body parts in various kitchen appliances it's considered questionable. But when a normal person does it, it's considered sick and wrong. Society and their double standards...

Regardless of the large, round opening at the top giving you the impression that it could be used as such, the trashcan is not a toilet. Be advised.

You can't just go changing the sizes of school buses at random. I was driving to work today and saw a mid-sized school bus. How can you do that to us? There are countless jokes that rely specifically on the shortness of a particular bus. When you throw this newfangled mid-sized bus into the mix, the future result could be catastrophic. "Yeah, well you go to school on the short bus..." Now, when you say "short bus," do you mean the new mid-sized bus? It throws everything off. To be grammatically correct, it now has to read "Yeah, well you ride the shortest bus to school." Man, this new mid-sized school bus sucks.

The point of the fair is for you to scope out the mullets and to eat anything that is deep fried. Do not try to make it any more complex than that.

The show "My Two Dads" was just a concept... You don't really have to carry that out into reality...

I always see flags and t-shirts that say "Don't Tread On Me." What are the flags and t-shirts complaining about? You don't see any doormats or carpet carrying that slogan and they get walked on all day. I think the flags and t-shirts need to shut up, or at least come up with an original slogan.... like "Don't Burn Me," or "Don't Wash Me," or "Don't Wipe With Me..."

When someone starts rubbing their fingers together and says "Do you hear that? That's the world's smallest violin, and it's playing for you..." I like the idea of having the world's smallest bat, and pulling it out and beating them with it.

Sure I feel threatened by you... you're holding a knife. I, on the other hand, am holding a spatula. Do you fear the spatula? Should you fear the spatula? No. And that is why I will defeat you... because no one lends credit to the deadly spatula.

If the sign says "deer crossing," I'm not yielding for any creature other than a deer... be warned.

If I had a gun for every time someone made a stupid comment, there would be a lot more dead stupid people.

Regardless of who you are or what you do, if you've got necrotizing fasciitis... you've got the funky leg rot.

Parents don't honestly believe that when their kid makes a face it will freeze that way, they just tell them to stop because they're jealous.

If at first you don't succeed...quit. Unless of course you have a great job, cool car, hot spouse, sweet house... only then is it worth try, trying again.

Tis better to give than to receive a beating from a drunken pirate...

Pirates had beards for a reason. They weren't just chin ornaments...

As the old saying goes; if you slide on the Slip-N-Slide with your pants down, you're going to get the grass rash.

A wise man can sit and ponder the most complex problems of our generation and be at peace. A moron can grab a yellow highlighter, color his body until completely covered and proclaim: "Look! I have jaundice!"

What kind of message is that "Whack-A-Mole" game sending out? Next time i'm in the yard and i see a mole pop his head up, i'm going to look for the nearest mallet so i can bop it over the head with the expectation of winning a prize.

You can lead a pirate to water, but if you try to make him drink, he'll probably kill you.

Antithesys Show #5

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Sun, 12 Feb 2006 22:23:00 -0800

Back again with yet another podcast! Out to prove any naysayers wrong, I put out another session within mere weeks of the previous post. On the deck this week, I give somewhat of a continuation to the previous podcast.

Intro Music: R L Burnside - It's Bad You Know
Outro Music: POD - Goodbye For Now

Point of Wisdom: If at first you don't succeed... change your name to Wolf Blitzer and try again. Wolf... who names their child Wolf?

Antithesys Show #4

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 07:08:00 -0800

I love ya.... sweet Jesus!!! After a busy holiday season and many delays, the Antithesys Show is back on the web for your listening enjoyment. After taking a 5 month hiatus, there were many things to talk about and many ideas that had been brewing.

This episode features an in depth discussion of how 3 successful local pastors fell victim to the attacks of the enemy. In this podcast I discuss what happened, how it happened, and how it all could have been prevented. I even backed it up with truth!

I hope this is the beginning of a more regular schedule of podcasts, but as you will hear me say in this episode, "unfortunately there's not a pill for podcast regularity..."

Intro Music: Gorillaz - Dirty Harry (mixed in with a clip from Anchorman and my robot announcer, Mike)
Outro Music: John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body

Point of Wisdom: There's an old saying claiming that "The proof is in the pudding..." Well, even if that's true, are we just supposed to dig around in the pudding until we find this alleged proof? And if so, once we find this proof, won't it be all pudding covered and gross? Yeah, some proof. Let's call off the guys from CSI and tell them we've found the proof. Nice...

Sorry For the Delays...

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 21:02:00 -0800

For any of those of you who may care, I'm sorry for the delays in getting any new content put out there for you to listen to. I'm going to try to sit down and put some material together soon. I've had a rough time with my computer for quite awhile now. All my intro music I had painstakingly edited for the show was wiped from the harddrive (along with several other important audio files), so I'm back to the starting line. Again, sorry for the delays. I also have plans in the works to get in on another podcast. I'll give you details as they become available. I'm wanting the show to be called "Eric V and the Pirate" but that's just a working title...

More later.

Antithesys Show #3 Excerpt

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 15:41:00 -0700

In case you don't have enough time to listen to the whole show, or to find out if it's worth wasting your time over... check out my show #3 excerpt.

Speaking in tongues... is it truly the gift that we think it is?

How do you know what you're truly saying if you and no one around you can interpret it?

Are you really speaking blessings, or are you cursing yourself and God?

Ethan

Antithesys Show #3

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 15:31:00 -0700

Finally the Antithesys Show has come back to the internet!!!

If you listened to show #2, this will be a continuation on a similar topic.

In this show, I finally get to use my marketing degree and my "Outstanding Senior Achievement in Marketing - 2002" Award. Listen as I explain what "System Business" is all about...

Intro Music: Modest Mouse - Float On
Outro Music: All Star United - Smash Hit

Antithesys Show Excerpt

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 15:20:00 -0700

Sorry it has taken me so long to put out anything new (for those of you who care)...

I prayed for some direction and God gave it to me.

This is just an excerpt that I was working on for a show that I really couldn't find a home for. It was too good to waste, so I'm putting it out there on its own for you to enjoy.

Put it in your mouth and chew it. It's delicious!

Ethan

Antithesys Show #2

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:36:00 -0700

As previously stated:

The Antithesys Show is alive and kicking... exposing the "Religious System" for what it truly is.

For those of you who are curious as to what this "Religious System" is that I speak of, Show #2 should give you more of the insight you seek.

Show Notes:

Intro Music: Hoobastank - Crawling In the Dark
Outro Music: Out of Eden - More Than You Know

Show Email:

Antithesys101@yahoo.com

For a similar type of PodCast that actually has a message, check out The Morning Commute

My Odeo Channel (odeo/10fab2071a237566)

If you want to set a program like iPodder or iTunes to automatically download my show when a new one is available, copy this feed link into the program and enjoy:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/TheAntithesysShow

Ethan

Antithesys Show #1

antithesys101@yahoo.com (Ethan G) — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 14:02:00 -0700

Readers and listeners alike:

The Antithesys Show is on the air... taking down the Religious System one PodCast at a time.

Click on the name of the show title to listen or to download the episode. You can also fill your system demolishing cravings by checking out the following websites:

http://www.themorningcommute.com
http://www.podchurch.net
http://www.withoutwalls.net

The Religious System isn't giving you the truth. It's time to stand up and do something about it!