the apprentice's journal

social engineering

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:43:00 +0000

For the past few days, I've been reading about social engineering as it relates to popular behavior. Social engineering usually pertains to subjects in political science - to affect and influence popular beliefs by way of law enforcement. Most societies at this point prohibit explicit attempts to change public beliefs, but attempts will still be made through more subtle techniques (such as embedding policies into economic policy).

Can we influence social online behavior by enforcing incentives and disincentives through game mechanics?

!

Going to try, I swear

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:41:00 +0000

Andy just started writing in his blog again. I've fallen off the face of the planet - how do the bloggers do it?

Partly, it's because of the fact that I find it really difficult to find time to write something insightful, as opposed to linking anything else that I find insightful to show to you guys. That's what RSS sharing is for, right?

Andy pointed me to something called Tumblr which is supposedly a way to combine all of the different mediums into one - post links, pictures, twitter, blog posts, RSS posts, all-in-one page.

I'll try it.

This page will still remain as my game design-focused blog (whenever I get to it), but there are times when I just want to share something with others and want to comment briefly on it without writing a long take/POV on any particular subject.

All of the posts on this page will also show up on my tumblr feed, but for those of you who just want to hear how my design life is going, tread lightly. I promise I'll update soon.

goty

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:33:00 +0000

Left4Dead: My 2008 Game of the Year (so many great games this year!)

meaningful coop + counterstrike + zombies + dynamic encounters = memorable war stories

...it's the game I've been dreaming of making!

It's the only game I've bought for two systems in a long time.

Oh, Canada~

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 02:27:00 +0000

Been in Canada twice in a week already! Currently waiting for the plane to hop back to San Francisco.

Magy invited me up to Simon Fraser University and the Masters of Digital Media Program to give two talks to her students. It was my first time giving a talk about being in the industry, and it was definitely a lot of fun for me--hopefully, it was a lot of fun for her students.

Vancouver is a beautiful city! I'd definitely like to go back soon and visit more of the city when I'm not thinking about a talk and being busy. It has a very nice city vibe without having the grittiness of some of the old towns on the east coast.

games overload

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:03:00 +0000

Yikes! So many games coming out! And so many of them are coop/multiplayer - yay!

Feels reminscent of the video games crash...

Dead Space
Left 4 Dead (COOP/MP)
Fallout 3
Chrono Trigger DS
LittleBigPlanet (COOP/MP)
Mirror's Edge
WoW: Wrath of Lich King (COOP/MP)
Prince of Persia 4
Gears of War 2 (COOP/MP)
Call of Duty 5 (COOP/MP)

How can I afford all of these games!?

new places

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:39:00 +0000

Many of you know, but I've been so distant to so many people as of late! I owe many of you all a huge update with me!

I accepted an offer about a month ago with 2K Marin. Out of the blue, they called me with an opening for a position that was pretty much made for me. I interviewed, thinking how hugely unqualified I was, considering how little real experience I've had in the industry so far. They somehow really liked me, and felt like I could do the work they were asking this person to do, so they made me the offer. It was a huge and unexpected change, especially since I had just started doing substantial work at Crystal Dynamics, but the call to the role was just so specific that I really felt like it was something that I had to try for my career.

There were basically three reasons I took the offer:
1. I want to work on an FPS, my first love that hooked me into games
2. I needed to try it out early in my career (FPSes seem to be a very difficult industry to break into)
3. Factor X that I can't talk about. (I hate being in unannounced projects!)

It definitely sucks that I had to leave the team at Crystal--I've never been so sad to leave a place before. Everyone at the company has been so pivotal to my growth as a designer. Team T* is amazing, and I wish I could just split myself into two and work on both projects simultaneously. I owe Tim, Jason, Noah, and Sean a lot for being so understanding about my career endeavors. I hope I do great work in my new place and am able to work with you all soon.

Currently Playing Changes: +Disgaea, -Patapon, -GTA4, -Battlefield: Bad Company, +World of Goo, +Castle Crashers

eswc comes to me!

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:25:00 +0000

ESWC is in San Jose today, collaborating with NVision 2008.

Pretty brilliant move, I say. Free media coverage in front of major PR representatives of the big tech/media corporations.

http://www.nvision2008.com/

fear of making a decision

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 22:29:00 +0000

I just started playing Fallout 1 last night in order to prepare for the big release this fall, and I spent about an hour pouring over the first character creation start screen and I never actually got around to really starting the game.

If games are all about making meaningful choices, is there a point at which the choices become too meaningful? Or even the perception that the choices are too meaningful?

I'm having trouble trusting the designers to have made enough of a sustainable and robust system where I could really create any character I wanted to. If I chose to create a weak character with strong wits and high diplomacy, would I still be able to have fun and finish the game? What if I made a brute character with absolutely no intelligence? What if I wanted to create a spy? Am I having trouble trusting them because I've yet to see the world? I'm being forced to make a decision about who my character is without having any context as to what I'm getting myself into.

Or maybe that is the point!

what was on the front of my dorm room door throughout college

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:16:00 +0000

I just had to.

girls are good at math too

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:49:00 +0000

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20080724-the-vanishing-gender-gap-in-math.html

Some statistical evidence to show the closing gap between genders in the mathematical sciences. In all honesty, most of the students in the math major @ Penn State were female, and many of them actually pursued higher education in some form of math. In fact, if I remember correctly, almost 75% of the classes for Math Education were female, which is a good sign for having more young females students to gain interest in it.

Now, I'm just waiting for some statistical evidence to say that the gender gap in the computer sciences is closing...

the jump mechanic

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:08:00 +0000

As we're defining the way our main character moves throughout the world, one of the key mechanics that we're trying to figure out early in pre-production is the way our avatar jumps in the world. I've been thinking a lot about the jump mechanic lately. It's kind of crazy how games have involved jumping throughout the years and the way it has evolved. At first glance, it seems pretty unnatural that we've based so many games off of this humanistic movement--jumps in the human world are no more interesting than running/swimming/eating/etc really is. Yet, jumping has become so natural in gaming such that even something as ludicrous as the double jump is common knowledge for the average gamer--so much to say that we've created an entire genre based off of it.

JoeQ asks prospective design employees to design a jump mechanic during his interviews--this is such a great question! I kind of wish that I got this question during my interview! :) Anyways, the next few topics for me will be based around the jump mechanic, but I will break them apart for your readership sanity's sake!

Why jump?

In designing a jump mechanic for your game, I think it's first important to understand what the role of jump means for your world. Jumps have been used in all sorts of ways in games, but the most notable for me is the following:

exploration/navigation challenge (reaching higher ground)

Probably the most common usage of jump--also the most humanistic of all of the usages of jump. Games typically use jumps as a means for exploration, access to new areas, ability to reach a higher level, but some games take it to the next level and create navigation puzzles out of them.

Most notables: Mario64, Lara Croft, Ratchet & Clank, Metroid, Megaman

combat mechanic as an attack

The most famous jump probably known to all gamer audience; not much to say about this one. Jumps that are used as the main attack on enemies--paved the way for future jump mechanics.

It's kind of a weird thought to say that jumping on someone's head is the way to kill something--I can't even imagine what people would say if someone pitched an idea like that today (if it had never existed before).

Most notable: Mario, Sonic, Shinobi, Legend of Zelda 2

dodges/physical avoidance

Games that are more combat focused use jumps particularly for dodging out of harms way. This is commonly used in games with a lot of projectile-based enemies, and requires the player to have a higher level of skill (and a good reaction time ^^).

Most Notables: Megaman, Contra, Castlevania, Metroid, Unreal Tourn, Quake, Donkey Kong

sheer fun/constant interactivity

One of the things that sometimes we as designers overlook is the fact that some interactions are just inherently fun, regardless of whether the mechanic has little to no gameplay value. I'm not saying that the jump mechanic in World of Warcraft was unnecessary, but I don't think that the game would have been broken without it. That being said, the first thing I do when entering any virtual world is jump, and use it as a means of entertaining myself, communicating with others, and even doing abstract things like expressing joy and excitement to other players.

Most Notables: World of Warcraft

combat mechanic as an advantage

Not to be confused with combat mechanics as an attack, this describes the usage of movement that players choose to do to gain advantage over their competitors. It could also probably be grouped with dodging, but it's not a mechanic that is necessary for gameplay, but there's just something to be said when people in the competitive circuits have described this as "Halo Jumping."

Most Notables: Quake, UT, Halo, Counterstrike

I know I've missed notable games, and probably even other usage of jumps, so please feel free to add to this! At first glance, I never expected jumps to be such a complicated little guy, but I find this exploration to be so fascinating. In the next part of this, I wanted to talk more about the pure mechanics of jump that make each of the actions above possible--and what design choices that people have made in the past that best support the experience for the player.

Added to Currently Playing: Battlefield: Bad Company, The World Ends With You
Finished: Final Fantasy: Crisis Core

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 01:33:00 +0000

YES THAT IS ME!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 17:14:00 +0000

http://www.square-enix.co.jp/ctds/

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tying up loose ends

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Fri, 16 May 2008 22:12:00 +0000

I'm graduating from the Entertainment Technology Center this weekend, and it's hard to believe that it's already been two years since the start of my intense study and focus in games.

It's definitely great seeing all of my classmates that are graduating with me, as well as faculty, mentors, peers, alumni, and friends. As I look upon the faces that are around me, I realize how many people that I've met on these grounds are going to be important to the industry. They are truly talented people, and it's a privilege to be associated with them.

I've definitely learned a lot over the last couple of years, and for me, the most important thing I learned at graduate school is genuineness. The perception that my peers have of me can only be changed so much if there is a lack of authenticity in intentions. It's what makes a person able to be self-reflective, self-improving, and express passion.

I've made mistakes while I was in graduate school--design mishaps, communication errors, poor leadership, etc. It's my challenge to be self-reflective over those things and figure out how to carve the future.

Carrying it over to the professional world will be a challenge, but I remind myself all the time that it's those relationships with my peers that I should strive to protect.

Congratulations ETC Class of 2008!

amendment i

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:21:00 +0000

An amendment to the "k.i.t" post two weeks ago:

A lot ~~few~~ of my coworkers are leaving for various reasons...

...to the point where I think anyone who is "sick" is out interviewing...

Pat already makes fun of me for becoming a jaded developer. lol.
Lesson: Make peace (or friends! even better) with everyone you work with. Easier said than done.

typeracer

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:14:00 +0000

You know you're a sucker for competitive online multiplayer games when something like this comes across your desk:

http://play.typeracer.com/

Thanks to my mother for making me play hours and hours of Mario Teaches Typing. Now if I can only raise that 90 wpm to 100+.

k.i.t.

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:30:00 +0000

A few of my coworkers are leaving for various reasons, some leaving for a break, some leaving for other companies. It's made me realize that I don't know them all too well, and I feel like I've made a bit of a mistake. I've been here for about 11 months now, and I haven't spent any time or effort to really get to know them.

Another learning point: I should make it a goal to get to know every person on every team I am on. Each person has so much to offer, especially to someone as rookie as myself--I learn more about myself, my job, and about working with others. And keeping a good reputation will ultimately open up many opportunities in the future.

I feel sorry that I haven't put in the kind of effort to get to know them that I should have, but I feel very lucky to have worked with all of them. I owe them very much for trusting me and helping me grow as a designer. My hats off to you guys with your future endeavors!

adjusting to change

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:56:00 +0000

Seems like the bay area has been in a lot of disarray lately. It all seems really coincidental, probably all fiscally related, or maybe just bad karma, but a few bay area companies are going through some transitions: Stormfront closing, another studio closing, and I've also had to experience some change at my own company as well. I will just refer to my friend/mentor Jason's post. Seems like we were cosmically aligned to have the same things happened to both of us in different places on the same day.

I'll tell ya one thing though--I haven't been in the games industry for a year yet, and I feel like I've experienced all of it. I know that's not true, but I'm learning a lot.

That all being said, the past two weeks have been really good. I'm learning a lot about myself, the people around me, and a slightly better glimpse of my personal/professional goals.

I will resume to more regular posts again once I get a good footing on my current journey.

what does favorite mean to you?

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:35:00 +0000

Some of you may have noticed that I've added a new column to the right of the dividing css line: "Top 10." It's a question often asked, often answered, and often avoided. Warren Spector recently added his own top ten to his page, and it got me thinking about what my top ten was, and what that actually meant to me.

I've decided this: my top games are those that have given me the best experience, including all external forces such as time in life, location, relationship to others, happiness with quality of life, etc.

This sounds stupid to include all of these unrelated weightings to something that's already subjective as it is, but I can't deny the fact that the word "favorite" is so personal and requires one to become ever so subjective.

One caveat though. I am not saying that my favorite games are the best games for everyone. Sure, maybe sometime, I'll make a top 10 list of games that I think are best designed, but that's not what I said. So, here it is, MY top 10:

Chrono Trigger: SNES: Combat system - spacial/timer/combo attacks. This game also tricked me so many times. (I'm the one who usually hates cut scenes and clicks through text as fast as possible.) After seeing the first cut scene and seeing how my interactions actually affected the cut scene, I paid attention to every cut scene after that and was careful with every action I took. There were also a few times that I thought I was supposed to do something and learned later from a friend that I had done something differently. It made my jaw drop, and I played it again.
Counterstrike: PC: The game that I spent the most time playing. The competition.
Diablo: PC: My friends and I farmed for stuff and min-maxed the crap out of this game. Entering, finishing, and making new rooms one after another.
Half-Life: PC: I was blown away by architectural/spacial narratives instead of pure story.
Megaman II: NES: Trying to beat this game in as many different combinations as possible. Comparing with my brother and boasting that I could beat a level with something different.
NHL '94: Sega Genesis: My brother and I fought more in this game than in any other context ever. So well balanced, so little randomness, so much based in skill, and awesome one-timers.
Star Wars Galaxies: PC: Staying up until 7AM planning a guild raid into our enemy guild. Hating on the imperials when I thought everyone should be rebel; it made my blood boil to see them--then deciding that the rebel alliance was dumb and becoming imperial.
Super Mario 64: N64: For proving me wrong that 3D Mario was impossible. Retraversable islands with the possibility of seeing future earnable stars while earning a different one.
Ultima Online: PC: Quite possibly the most fun I had exploiting and griefing people with friends. >:)
Zelda: A Link to the Past: SNES: the most perfectly balanced game for my skill level at the time. Dying when I was trying so hard, but never becoming frustrated because I was so determined I was going to make it. Finishing every boss battle with 1/2-1 heart container left. Making my heart rate rise while trying to feign death. Foreshadowing later moments in the level design. This game made me think about DDA (dynamic difficulty adjustment) before I even knew what DDA was.

Hmm, what have I learned from this? I love games that enable me to A) allow me to experience something interesting with a friend in game, B) share amazing moments in games with others (talking about them outside of playing the game), C) trick me in some unthinkable way, D) allow me to be the competitive/min-maxer gamer that I am. ;)

What about you?

prototyping to explore > prototyping to prove

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:41:00 +0000

My lead said something during a design meeting that struck me in a good way. We're currently in the stages of reevaluating the game concept and paring it down to a more concise form to something that's more doable and produce-able. He said that early in stages of development, when there was no engine and barely enough tools to actualize ideas, the prototyping time was used to prove that something could be done rather than prototyping to explore what the best method/design for a specific concept is. Moving forward, the time spent for prototyping should also include allocation for exploring concepts in different ways to look for the best and most fun solution, rather than spending time just proving that something can work.

metacritic vs. grades

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 19:50:00 +0000

I feel like it's been a while since I've posted, but I'm going to use the generic cop-out line and blame it on Game Developers' Conference. It's a bit sad that I don't get as excited about GDC as I used to, but the great thing is being able to see and catch up with all of your colleagues and past co-workers. I also love match-making: not in the romantic sense (I will never delve into that realm!), but connecting people with similar vision/ideas/personalities.

Anyways, getting back to the actual topic of this entry, "metacritic vs. grades." It was hard for me to understand why a publisher would propose a game that is between 80-90 metacritic, or why the target would be even less than 100. It's definitely my naivety on game development; yes, there's obviously constraints that you'd have to consider, causing one to be realistic about expectations, but I just couldn't fathom why anyone wouldn't just want to aim high.

Sometimes, it's a bit embarrassing being around developer veterans--my only real experience in making a product and getting results have really only ever existed in academia, so I do come short of understanding why anyone would propose creating something that's less than excellent.

I think my only real applicable understanding of metacritic scores relate to that of grades that you get in school--or at least the feedback that you get from your audience (in this case, your faculty/peers). Students are really lucky. We get constantly pushed to make our best, and because we are (relatively) in control of our own destiny, we aim to, and most of the time, expect 100.

Mark Bolas (USC faculty) once told me that he pushes his students to make really think outside of the box. He said that people can generally agree when things are good/above average (80s). Once you stretch out of the norm, many people who see the concept will think it's a 0, and others will think it's genius. It's sure easy for students when there's not that much you could lose with a high risk, high reward situation. Maybe a terrible grade, but that's not so bad... right? :)

Once you enter money and other people (time) in the equation, everything gets really hairy. I guess the take is generally "under commit, over deliver." It'll definitely take some time for me to get used to that concept.

I'd still like to expect and believe that every project that I'm working on will be 90+. Designer's pipedream?

interviewing

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:59:00 +0000

I was surprised when my team asked me to participate in interviewing candidates for our design team. For one, I'm just an intern. That, and I don't think I'm qualified to bring judgment to whether I feel someone is a good designer or not. Regardless, my lead wanted to give me the experience of interviewing someone, and it honestly made me feel very included on the team, and another reason why my company makes an effort to not make us feel like just an intern--but that topic alone is for some other future post.

The only interviewing I had done before interviewing for the games industry was academic/school entrance reviews and interviewing, so I was a bit nervous about how to interview, so I did my research and did the following things:

Company Knowledge: I spent about 30-45 minutes on each company, and read about their company history, about some of the people on the team (if there is info), game videos on some of their past games, and if I hadn't already, played through their most recent/current titles that they released.
Google: I googled my interviewers. They're going to google you, so cover your bases too. For example, someone knew that I worked for the CPL and asked about what it was like working with the pro-gamers. Another asked me about dancing. Another asked me about what made de_dust so great (I wrote a paper on competitive gaming & level design). Oh, and by the way, I googled myself to make sure that whatever was showing up was accurate. :)
Practice: There's plenty of standard questions out there that interviewers ask. I asked some of my colleagues who've gone through the process before and asked them what those common ones were. I was lucky to have a friend's colleague do a practice interview with me, and she gave me feedback on my resume and interview.
Resume: I went through my resume 100 times. Okay, maybe that's exaggeration, but I sent it out to as many people as I could to get feedback on semantics, clarity, and content. I also asked people outside of my discipline for feedback on sheer readability and design(?).
Questions for you: Of course, it's hard to have any idea what the interviewers are going to ask you, but there are some general things that you should just have in your pocket. Have an opinion on 1) state of the games industry, 2) current popular games, 3) different design philosophies, 4) your own taste in games. One of my colleagues at work, has his token question he asks all the interviewees. "What are you playing right now?" I was pretty surprised by the number of people that don't fully answer it. Not only is this your chance to tell people that you're still connected to the gaming world, but it's your chance to talk design on something you didn't design with everyone.
Questions for them: As per suggestion, having a list of questions for the interviewers was helpful for me. To be honest, I even wrote them down on a notepad that I brought into all of my interviews. Ask them what they're playing. What do they think of it? What kind of game are they working on? I tried to pry some game information out of my interviews, but alas, I will have to wait until public demo. :(

The interviews were nerve-wracking, but at the same time, it was really great getting to know the interviewers. Students, in particular, have a huge boon because so many people are willing to help us. So, take advantage of that: talk about what you're working on in school, and what makes you really excited about the industry and the company you're interviewing for.

I never really knew how important the interview process really was until I started sitting in on these interviews with candidates. Or how much first impressions do matter, and regardless of how objective we can try to be, we can really judge someone within a few minutes of meeting a candidate. Some of the things that I learned or re-learned post-employed are:

If you worked on a game, please bring it with you. If not published, please try to bring a demo version.
If you are a student and have none of those, paper prototypes, level editor work are gold.
Be consistent in your interviews. For some reason, sometimes our team would interview in different sessions and then feel like we've interviewed two different people. Part of that will be improving about our interviewing technique as well, but don't be afraid to repeat the same things in your interviews.

Really, the thing that matters most for our team is how well would they fit in the team in general. Work productivity seems to go up about 200% (Yes, that's scientific! :P) when someone is easy to work with and meshes well with the team.

The genie sums it all up: beeeeee yourself. :)

the first leg

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 05:54:00 +0000

I guess in order for me to talk about my life as a game designer, I should talk about how the conception really began. Many people ask me, "How did you get into games?" I guess it's quite obvious for many people--"I've known ever since I was very little that I wanted to make games." That wasn't really the case for me. For a little while, I used to tell people that "I'm not really sure. I just kind of... stumbled gracefully into it." I think that it's true to some extent, but there was definitely some inherent goal that I wanted to achieve in games.

I think you could say that I grew up a gamer. I spent most of my time around games--but not necessarily playing them. Youngest of three children and each birthed five years from one another, I was usually the one watching the older two play the game, IF there was a two-player mode at all. Occasionally, we'd find a way to sit together at the keyboard of the Commodore64 and all play together, bumping elbows and yelling at each other, "Wait for me!" However, I was mystified by the playing habits & style of my siblings, and I preferred to sit and watch them play.

It wasn't really until college that I fell deeply into games again. I played hardcore games pretty hardcore, attempting to keep myself afloat in the field of the elite. I was good, but not good enough. Eventually, I retired my competitive cap, and played hardcore games pretty casually. I watched more competitive matches then, and started to talk more analytically about the maps that we were playing on. I found the level designs of these maps so intricate. Every little intricacy: from placement of the barrels, position of the baked-in lighting, height of the corners, material of the door, were all there to give the players a greater depth to the playing experience. Someone knew more about what I wanted in my game than I even knew to begin with. I was especially intrigued.

One person's influence: It's always amazing to know how much one person can affect your life. During all of the sleepless nights of game playing, studying my way through CS & Math, envisioning myself as a future Computer Vision scholar, I met a professor, Magy Seif El-Nasr, through her game course in the information sciences department. I took it on a whim really, to be with some friends, for some fresh perspective, and for a healthy break from the computer vision. I talked to her often about my experience playing games, and questioned why games were the way they were, and how much academic study there was when creating these games. I became more and more enthralled by games, and became even more confused that there hadn't been much academic approach to studying these games. Following that semester, I stopped my computer vision studies, and worked with Magy on a senior thesis about competitive gaming map design.

Learning: In order to find out more about the competitive gaming field, outside of the perspective of the gamer, I put myself in the hands of the CPL (Cyberathelete Professional League). Observing the gamers, talking with the level designer's work, discussing competition rules, my inquisitive nature was being fed from left and right. I was so curious about the spectatorship of video games, the bonds that the players formed during the game experience, and the importance of level design and architecture. I learned so much about other game studies that were going on around the world. From MDA to ludology to serious games, I was learning about the maturation of an industry known to be so immature.

I spent a lot of time thinking about my future. At this point, I thought about how sane I actually was to pursue games as a legitimate career. I mean, I liked games, I liked what they brought to people, but it never even occurred to me that it was even an option. I always had a lingering feeling and obligation to humanity to "save the world." My parents always thought I would be the doctor in the family. When I told them that I didn't want to be a doctor and that I wanted to go to school for computers, they told me that a "Ph.D" kind of doctor would be acceptable instead. I was pretty accepting of that compromise, and I spent the greater portion of my undergrad preparing for a career that I thought would ultimately "help people." Going into games and entertainment was a huge blow to my own selfish ego, and I often thought, "What am I doing to save the world?"

Passion: I don't have much wisdom, but I'm pretty sure that passion is a key element and gives worth to anything you pursue. I convinced myself that the negative stigma of games didn't matter, even though I had no idea what I was so passionate about. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I've cared about the same thing all along--a way to allow and encourage people to connect with one another. For my brothers and I, in particular, it was games. Without games, I don't believe that my brothers and I would have much of a relationship. It gave us a medium to spark conversation to get to know one another regardless of age, experience, or gender. It sounds super cheesy and "save-the-worldish" of me, but hey, I hope I can bring people together, and for now, I hope I can do it with games.

P.S. Thanks, Magy.

Finally...

noreply@blogger.com (mech) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:35:00 +0000

After much deliberation, and encouragement from mentors, fellow co-workers, and friends, I've finally decided to start this blog. Much of the blog will be devoted to writing about my experience as a learning designer, with a focus on advice for new designers and/or people who are wanting to break into the games industry as a designer.

Why now? I thought sincerely about my goals for doing this. Am I doing this for internet glory? Am I doing this for ventilation? Claim to fame? There are plenty of other blogs out there from designers with years and years of experience. What could I possibly have to offer as a beginner in the design world? Well, I can't guarantee that I can offer you anything, but I will say that I'm doing this mainly for myself.

Here are my goals for doing this:

Start shaping up my writing skills: as a growing designer and pursuing professor, it is with utmost importance that I learn to communicate with my coworkers with clarity, and work on professionalism as I prepare for my life as a future teacher.
Documentation: So much of what I'd like to do with my life is encouraging others to pursue what they want to do and their dreams, advice on how they can achieve it, what they should do to prepare, and what the common pitfalls are. Documenting my progress, my failures, and the trying experiences will help me better prepare others.
Learning from others: Letting myself become vulnerable to the vast web of other professionals and designers who've experienced many, many years over myself, I hope that I can learn from everyone's comments, criticisms, and diatribes.

Even though my experience has been very unique thus far, maybe I can provide insight to others who are walking on a similar path, and who knows, maybe there'll be something that you can take away from my experiences, good and bad.

-M