The Aquitaine

Sunday Funnies

2009-05-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

Starting off with a reminder: the Miss USA contestant who gave the oft-pilloried opinion that marriage should be strictly between one man and one woman (the outrage!) holds the exact same position as Obama as he has stated on more than one occasion. Let's spread the outrage wealth shall we?

A Flu By Any Other Name

2009-04-27T08:44:00.000-07:00

The "swine" flu news continues to be troubling as possible new cases are being investigated in Northern California and Michigan, among other places. While much of the world works to contain this potential pandemic, some of us are focused on the much larger issue. What should we name the virus?:

[Israeli] Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

Scientists are unsure where the new swine flu virus originally emerged, though it was identifed [sic] first in the United States. They say there is nothing about the virus that makes it "Mexican" and worry such a label would be stigmatizing.

I can't make this stuff up.

Of course, the debate is purely academic. In the end we all know that this will be found to be the fault of George Bush and/or capitalism. Might as well let the name reflect that reality. Maybe the Ayn Randemic Bush-Cheney Flu? Yeah, I know. I'm working on it. I'll take your suggestions in the comments.

How Obama Celebrated Earth Day

2009-04-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

By reading a speech (big surprise) in Des Moines, Iowa.

Des Moines, Iowa? You ask. Isn't that far from Washington? Why yes it is. It is entirely too far to walk and even on an earth-friendly bicycle that's going to take some time. You could go by Prius or Smart Car but the POTUS is on a kinda tight schedule, as I understand it.

Sooo, that basically leaves you with teleporting or taking a jet.

Choosing to reserve his teleporting ability (I'm told he can do anything) for a crisis or a sale at J. Crew, Obama took the jet. So, this Earth Day, President Obama consumed 9,116 gallons of fuel to talk to the good people of Des Moines about alternative energy. I like it. I only wish I could have matched him gallon for gallon but I had to settle for setting fire to plastics, cutting down trees and grilling panda burgers (hat tip: Facebook).

More Hunger in the News

2009-04-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Mia Farrow is going on a hunger strike to show her solidarity for the starving people of Darfur. Of course, this is a hunger strike done Hollywood style so its mostly smoke and mirrors. There will be no actual starvation. It will be only slightly more intense than your average starlet's typical diet:

How long do you think you can hold on for?

I am going to try for three weeks. Given my weight that may not come to pass. I am going to get my blood tested after two weeks and if there is organ damage, I will have to stop. But my goal is three weeks. I won't be able to go to the doctor at that point, someone is going to have to come to the house and give me a blood test.

Oh, sure. That's exactly like Darfur with the house calls and the multitude of blood tests and the starvation ending in the event of organ damage. I'm so, so very glad that these people do not share my political perspective. I don't know how I would be able to reconcile being aligned with such idiocy and self-absorption. Of course, if that were my political perspective I wouldn't have to reconcile anything. I could just feel my way out of the dilemma.

At whom is this hunger strike aimed? At the Sudanese government which is perpetuating this horror and which expelled 13 aid agencies from the region in March? No. Of course not. Farrow says:

I hope that people will call upon our government to make Darfur a priority and to finally bring about peace in Darfur, and, of course to readmit the humanitarians.

She also notes that:

We felt that as much as we adore President Obama he was very slow to appoint an envoy to Sudan.

Maybe he's still looking for one of his political persuasion that hasn't taken a pass on their patriotic duty of paying taxes? They appear to be in short supply.

Really?

2009-04-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

This is the family that Family Circle magazine wants me to save from starvation with my cash donation:

What am I missing?

The article says things like: "nonfat milk all around" and "the federal WIC program...provides money for nutritious staples like eggs, beans, fruits and vegetables..." and "Their health insurance costs are climbing...". That last statement is the only one that doesn't surprise me given their obvious risk factors. Something doesn't add up here.

Spare me the argument about fast food being the least expensive option. You can get a salad and grilled chicken and low fat milk at any fast food restaurant. Not to mention that beans and frozen veggies are extremely nutritious, filling, inexpensive and, as far as I'm concerned, delicious.

I have a cousin that literally did starve to death in her infancy as recently as 20 years ago. I did not know her. I only know her story but it haunts me and this article offends that part of my conscience. My baby cousin had never had anything more nourishing than rice water in her short life.* That's hunger. A morbidly obese family is the opposite of hunger.

But that's what passes for need in our country now. And a reluctance to pay for that need will get you labeled "greedy" or "heartless" or a "right wing extremist". And no amount of protesting will stop them from taking your money, in the form of taxes, at the point of a gun and turning that money over, in the form of food stamps and WIC, to all your super-fat, starving brethren.

Here's a tip I'd like to pass along to these parents: being sick to your stomach over the state of our country is proving to be a very effective diet. Look into it.

*This story brought to you by communism.

Go Green. And Red.

2009-04-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

April 22 is the day that was chosen to celebrate the existence of a tyrannical political movement that promises to deliver people from archaic forms of poverty and instead enslaves them to a new kind of global poverty by, among other things, depriving them of technology. We call this day, ~~Earth Day~~ um, I mean ~~Lenin's Birthday and it is the day Nikita Krushchev chose to celebrate communism~~ erm, no its ~~Earth Day~~. Oh, gosh. I guess its all of the above. So, Happy Lenin's Birthday/Communism Day/Earth Day.

Whether you choose to celebrate placing the yoke of poverty and government corruption on the backs of the people, or the man who perfected the use of the gulag, or junk science, or, as is likely, all three - have a wonderful day. This really is your time. Never has the world been more open to the idea of enslaving a man to his neighbor's need. And, while we have seen plenty of junk science in our history, never have we seen it turned into a religion AND a tremendously lucrative dupe at the same time. Kudos to you.

So, if this is your high holy day, enjoy your spendy reusable shopping bags and organic cleaning products. Enjoy your expensive fair trade coffees and your locally grown produce. Unless your locally grown produce comes from the central valley of California in which case...epic fail. Your produce wastes literal tons of water every year leading to water shortages for the entire state. I wonder what you'd get to eat locally if it weren't for the water subsidies. It probably wouldn't be strawberries. I hear those need water.

Enjoy your tiny, absurdly unsafe cars that no one can hear coming and most of all, enjoy the entitlement to self-aggrandizing and self-righteous douchery that the Green business keeps marketing and that you keep buying. You've earned it. I won't mention that at the core of this grass roots movement beats the heart of the purest sort of capitalism because I don't want to ruin the day for you. That would be like telling a kid on Christmas morning that there is no Santa.

We'll be sitting out the festivities here choosing instead to observe "Industrial Revolution Day". If you'd like to join me in this celebration of human achievement there's not much to it. I'll drive around in my car. Cook on my stove. Watch my television. Use my computer. Pretty much do everything I usually do, most of which was made possible by both Industry and industry. In fact, you may be observing Industrial Revolution Day without even knowing it. Or is that without wanting to admit it? Either way, cheers!

Tin Foil Hat Time

2009-04-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Usually when I say, "Tin Foil Hat Time", I'm about to discuss some recent event that causes paranoia even when that paranoia might not be fully justified (it might be fully justified, it just hasn't become clear either way). This time I'm telling my conservative readers and friends to put on their tin foil hat and leave it there until further notice. And, if they can, they should try to make it look like a beret and pretend to be French. That's going to involve a lot of moping around and not working very hard and complaining about Americans while living under the protection of our military strength but I know you can do this.

If they don't they are at risk of being labeled a "Rightwing Extremist" by the new administration's Department of Homeland Security according to a report leaked last week. A rightwing extremist is defined thusly in the new DHS report:

Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.

Let's pretend for a minute that it isn't absurdly political to define the right as adherents to "hate-oriented" movements. Okay, minute's up.

Let's take another look at the list:

"rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority" - check.
"opposition to abortion" - check.

Looks like I'm in trouble even though I fail to see how favoring local government makes a person an extremist? And what if you oppose illegal immigration? Does that make you an extremist? Is it extreme to wish that people would adhere to laws and to desire that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent of said laws when they violate them?

Chillingly, the report also warns that the government needs to be particularly mindful of war veterans who have challenges mainstreaming into society after returning home. That's right, veterans are the new terrorists. Veterans and me. So, for those of you who know me and aren't rightwing extremists you may want to reconsider waving to me at the grocery store or stopping to chat if we run into each other at the library.

And to those of you that already pretend you don't see me, I know you do. How can you not see a person wearing this:

Outed

2009-04-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been found out by Janeane Garofalo:

"Let's be very honest about what this is about. This is not about bashing Democrats. It's not about taxes. They have no idea what the Boston Tea party was about. They don't know their history at all. It's about hating a black man in the White House," she said on MSNBC's "The Countdown" with Keith Olbermann Thursday evening. "This is racism straight up and is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks. There is no way around that."

Yup, that's me. Racist redneck who don't be knowin' no hist'ry. Just hating the blacks and anyone else who isn't a person of pallor.

And this is the spin that the left has been putting on the Tea Parties since their inception just to bring to fruition what all of us on the right predicted would happen when we voiced our opposition to Obama. That any opposition would earn you the title of racist. Of course, we were called racist for saying that would happen.

I don't think it needs to be said but here goes: I'm not racist. I hate some white people. Case in point: Janeane Garofalo. Politics aside I could hate her just for that spelling of Janeane. Furthermore, the list of white people I hate is long. Very. Very. Long. I could have a whole blog that was nothing but a list of white people whom I hate. Each blog post could list 15 - 20 names. I could post everyday and never run out of material. Unlike Janeane Garofalo who ran out of material years ago and yet continues to torture us with her smart-but-sad-girl-who-is-almost-marginally-cute-behind-these-glasses schtick.

Let's pretend, for a moment, that she and Keith Olbermann have fully functioning genitalia (we know they don't because drones never do) and had a child together. Done? Okay. Sorry about that mental image but I've actually done you a huge favor because no matter what happens to you today it couldn't ever be as horrible as that possibility. So go have a great day!

Tax Day Tea Party

2009-04-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

This evening I had the privilege of attending a Tax Day Tea Party. I'm typically pretty scornful of these hippie-dippie "protestaculars" and I'm not alone:

“The message of the tea parties is obvious: no more spending, no more taxes, no more debt, no more bailouts,” said Sally Zelikovsky, organizer of the San Francisco event.

“When conservatives take to the streets in the most liberal city in America, in uncharacteristic fashion — and let’s be honest, it’s just not in our DNA to protest — it signifies that people have had enough.”

There were cops everywhere which made me laugh, as if a bunch of conservatives were going to get crazy and start trouble. But when the rag-tag bunch of counter-protesters showed up to protest the existence of, wait for it, borders, I realized they weren't there for us.

And yes, I said borders. No, not the bookstore. But borders as in the division between nations. They also seem to have taken a strong position against soap. The riot police were on hand just in case but the no-borders group were shouted down when the no-more-taxes crowd started chanting, "Get. A. Job! Get. A. Job!"

I was very happy to bump into a few familiar faces as you'll see in the pictures. I actually took so many pictures that someone asked if I was with the press. Here are just a few (click to enlarge):

Here's one of my fellow Ayn Rand admirers, Pat, spreading the word.

A few more good looking guys with signs. The signs held by Rick and Eric were courtesy of another protester who had too many signs to hold at one time.

Here I am with my big cup of unfair trade, capitalist pig-dog coffee.

We saw these adorable girls and then realized that we know them from our Park Day!

Pirates are Mad as Hell and They're Not Going to Take it Anymore

2009-04-13T07:33:00.001-07:00

In the continuing story of the hijacked cargo ship, the Maersk Alabama, we find ourselves in the happy position of cheering the rescue of the ship's captain at the completely acceptable cost of the lives of three pirates. Pirating, as a trade, comes with a fair amount of danger and risk. That's what the wooden legs and eye patches are all about.

But the killing of the thieving, murderous, kidnapping pirates might not have been such a good idea, we're learning:

Adm. Gortney also said that the rescue ending in the pirates' deaths could ramp up hostilities in the growing wave of pirate attacks off the coast of Somalia, in which crews and pirates have seldom been harmed. "This could escalate violence in this part of the world, no question about it," he said.

I guess the machine guns toted by the pirates on the Alabama were just for counter weight while they shinnied up the sides of the ship? And when they pointed it at the head of the captain that was just pirate kabuki? And the "growing wave" probably would not have led to an escalation in violence in and of itself, right?

And here's a sentence that had me running to flush the hot coffee from my sinus passage:

Underscoring that point, angry pirates on Monday vowed retaliation.

The angry pirates are going to go all Martha Ray on us now. Arrrr, whar be the solidarity?

"From now on, if we capture foreign ships and their respective countries try to attack us, we will kill [the hostages]," Jamac Habeb, a 30-year-old pirate, told the Associated Press from one of Somalia's piracy hubs, Eyl. "[U.S. forces have] become our No. 1 enemy."

Lesson: don't piss off a pirate. Give them what they want and move along, nobody gets hurt. Think of it has spreading the wealth. Or a tax on wealthy business owners.

We could only hope that a huge and forceful U.S. military could be their worst enemy. But that was a different time and different president. This president is more likely to spend time figuring out what we're going to call the pirates since "pirate" carries such a negative connotation. I like "thieving bullet receptacle" but I've been asked not to send anymore suggestions.

Money Where Your Mouth Is

2009-04-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading an article in an old issue of National Review that mentioned the way in which people spend "free" money. For instance, those of us who have health insurance and are considering various elective services don't ask, "How much will this cost?" but "Does my insurance cover this?" Would I still require an appointment with a dermatologist to address my, um, nasolabial (not what you think) predicament if I had to pay for it outright rather than check to see if my insurance company would do so? Well, I would because I'm vain like that but would you?

Its a very similar attitude when it comes to spending "free" money from the government. Its a problem that they have in countries that have adopted socialized medicine. People seek medical services for things that don't require such because, after all, its freeeee! So free that I think we can expect these systems to be bankrupt in short order. (And free in the sense that in France about 18% of your income is taken to fund the health care program. Its only free if you don't contribute anything to it. Which, as people eventually realize, is the way to go.) The sense that the service costs you nothing contributes to the system being drained by people milking it rather than economizing like they would with their own money.

I see it all the time, actually. In some states, including the state of California, homeschool families can enroll in public charter schools and receive a stipend from the government to use for educational purposes. This is a significant chunk of money, around $1200.00 per student per year. I know many, many families who elect to take this money. Very few of the families that I know actually need the stipend. Most own their own homes, drive newer cars, take expensive vacations and enjoy the advantages of having a stable job for which they are well-compensated.

And many of them are liberal. Which is why it stuns me to hear their attitude toward the money. At the end of the school year there tends to be a bit of a scramble to spend all of the money left in their public coffer so it doesn't "go to waste". So they start buying crazy things that they never would have bought if the money had come from their own bank account. And this doesn't even address the kinds of things that get purchased using this money throughout the year.

What if the money didn't get used. Would it really "go to waste"? Would it just disappear? Of course not. It would go back to the government and get used elsewhere. Maybe to fund some of the other outrageously costly programs that the liberals love so much and are always complaining don't get enough funding. Want to save the wetlands? Buy meals for the homeless? Save a spotted, yellow-billed something-or-other? Fund AIDS research? Improve inner city schools? Then back away from the expensive papers and art supplies that you're buying just to use up your stipend.

Or just admit that when people are given things they didn't work for, they don't exercise the same caution with those things that they would if they were incurring their true cost.

To Buy

2009-04-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

"I have little patience with any man, white or black, with education, who goes through the country whining and crying because nobody will give him a job of work. A man with education should be able to create a job for himself, but in doing so he may have to begin at the very bottom"

If that doesn't sound familiar you can blame a liberal. Not only does this message of self-sufficiency not jive with their world view but they really don't like the man who said it, Booker T. Washington. His conservatism and Republican Party affiliation caused him to be maligned or ignored by most university academics in favor of the radical Communist, W.E.B. Du Bois.

I just finished a great article about Washington that was in National Review (its not available online). It reviewed a new biography of Washington that is going on my reading list:

Take the Long View

2009-04-05T08:25:00.001-07:00

I grew up during the 1970s and 1980s under what felt like the near constant threat of nuclear annihilation.

I can remember feeling sick for weeks after watching the made-for-TV movie, The Day After, which, for my younger readers, was not about one girl's struggle to obtain pharmaceutical grade abortifacients when she oversleeps after a particularly wild night. No, Dears. When I was a your age we didn't have abortion pills or TVs in our cars. In 1983, The Day After, was a movie that depicted the fall-out of a nuclear attack on the United States. My parents, in their infinite hippie-ness, thought it was a good idea for their high strung, insomnia plagued 12-year old to watch this movie in order to impress upon her how important a nukes-free world was.

In 1984, German pop singer, Nena launched her U.S. release of Neunundneunzig Luftballons known here as 99 Luftballoons. The U.S. version depicted nuclear world decimation caused by overreaction to a mass of red toy balloons being released into the sky. It was hugely popular because it had a good beat and we could dance to it.

In 1985, Sting released his love song to pacifism, Russians. It was "great bosh"*. "I hope the Russians love their children too," Sting intoned, because only love would save us from nuclear holocaust. Love being a relative newcomer to humanity, I guess, and not yet available in all of the preceding wars of the world's history. The song was impossible to dance to, but it managed to be popular nonetheless. I think it had something to do with the singer being a super-hottie (back then we called them "Total Babes") with amazing guns (back then we called them biceps).

In 1987 the miniseries, Amerika, premiered. It depicted an America under Soviet domination. Seems funny now (well, it does to me) but it wasn't so funny then. Well, maybe a little bit funny. I especially enjoy the idea of the U.S. being occupied by a United Nations peacekeeping force made up of various Eastern Bloc military units while I stand around saying, "I told you so."

How did I make it through this era in that culture of death? One man and three little letters: Ronald Reagan and SDI. My father explained it like this (I paraphrase): "If the Soviets ever launched a nuclear weapon at the U.S. the idea is that we could shoot it down before it got here." He didn't seem convinced but I liked the sound of it. I still do.

So when President Obama calls for "an international effort to lock down nuclear weapons materials within four years," just hours after North Korea launches a two stage ballistic missile I can't help but long for the President of my youth. Even when Obama "vowed to pursue the missile shield as long as Iran pursued its nuclear ambitions. [And then] drop the effort if Iran is deemed no longer a threat" I don't feel comforted. The President of my youth understood that there will always be a North Korea or an Iran. There will be less of them if the chances for success are reduced by the mere existence of the ability to thwart their power grab.

But, naturally, such talk of disarmament is well-received in Europe where socialism-induced sloth and dependence has already eroded the intellect of the populace. They have largely forgotten how dependent they are upon the protection of America's nuclear umbrella. Fortunately for them, their leaders haven't:

Three of Great Britain's retired top military officers have declared their country's nuclear deterrent to be "completely useless." They suggest dropping the British submarine-based missiles, relying instead on the U.S. Such a step would effectively complete Europe's status as America's biggest military dependent.

Now, with the KGB beefing up again in the former Soviet Union Obama's plan to disarm America and divert those monies into his plans for a costly and sure-to-be grossly inefficient national health care system among other socialist schemes should cause Europeans to feel a bit nervous . They should be wondering how they will continue to pay for their costly and grossly inefficient national health care systems if they also have to funnel money into national defense. They won't. As Bandow points out in his article, Europe lacks the will to defend itself. They don't care which regime pays for their subsistence as long as they don't have to do anything.

In a recent exchange with a resident of the UK I was plunged into an icy cold bath of horror when they argued that the socialism was just fine and I should jump in because they felt, "well taken care of", by their government. No irony noted. The very thing that struck terror in my heart was, for her, the selling point. And it seems to work. And for that reason, I despair.

This month, I will be attending at least one rally protesting our move toward dependence and apathy. I don't think it will help but I have been chastised about going quietly and I took it to heart. I am constantly reminding my brothers-and-sisters-in-arms that while this battle is lost the future looks brighter. Not only are we breeding more than the Left (thanks in no small part to the rejection of birth control by many Christian religions) but at the rate that the liberals and their supporters are aborting themselves it will only take one or two generation to reclaim America. Take the long view.

*‘Charles,’ said Cordelia, ‘Modern Art is all bosh, isn’t it?’
‘Great bosh.’--Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

Hat tip: The Ringmistress

The Newspapers Will Go Quietly

2009-03-30T08:14:00.001-07:00

Most of them already have. Compare these two pages:

I love how the NYT makes Wagoner's ouster sound so friendly and amiable. As if CEO's willingly walk away from their jobs at the behest of the Federal Government everyday.

Chrysler is next. They are being told to join with Fiat...or else.

And So It Begins

2009-03-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

The Federal Government (big F, big G) now runs GM:

The White House confirmed Wagoner was leaving at the government's behest after The Associated Press reported his immediate departure, without giving a reason.

The name of the new puppet CEO is TBA.

General Motors issued a vague statement Sunday night that did not officially confirm Wagoner's departure.

"We are anticipating an announcement soon from the Administration regarding the restructuring of the U.S. auto industry. We continue to work closely with members of the Task Force and it would not be appropriate for us to speculate on the content of any announcement," the company said.

The Task Force consisting of:

The Obama administration calls its task force “a cabinet-level group that includes the secretaries of Transportation, Commerce, Labor and Energy. It will also include the chairman of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, the director of the Office of Management and Budget, the EPA administrator, and the director of the White House Office of Energy and Climate Change. The Task Force will be led by Treasury Secretary [Tim] Geithner and [National Economic Council] Director Larry Summers.”

And one big as$ carrot in the form of bail-out money. And an even bigger stick should the carrot thing not work.

Why Yes

2009-03-28T18:56:00.001-07:00

Yes, I will be turning on all of my lights at 8:30pm tonight. And running lots of appliances.

If you want some great examples of how sanctamonious and self-congratulatory and generally d0#chey people can be read the comments here.

Instead I will be celebrating Human Achievement Hour.

I know my Sisters-In-Arms in our self-declared war against the cult of Ecomania are joining me tonight. I salute you, Ladies.

Articulate Can Mean So Many Things

2009-03-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

...in our post-modern anything-goes world. For instance, the word 'articulate' can mean what it means in the dictionary or it can mean that we like someone and thus randomly assign positive traits to them even if they don't really deserve it.

Case in point, this Obama sentence as diagrammed by a blogger:

Pop Quiz

2009-03-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

Who said the following:

"They chant the slogan of change but no change is seen in practice. We haven't seen any change,"

"If you are right that change has come, where is that change? What is the sign of that change? Make it clear for us what has changed."

A) Rabid right-wing Obama hater
B) Someone making a retail purchase with cash and is waiting for their change
C) Me (slight variation on A)
D) Iranian leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

If you guess D, go to the head of the class.

Never thought I'd agree with that guy on something.

These words were spoken in response to a slobbering message to the Iranian people from Obama. It was a pathetically pandering oral greeting card that smacked of a groveling wish to be liked and filled the room with a painful awkwardness. I continue to shudder at what passes for diplomacy and international relations savvy these last 60 days.

What did he get for the trouble? In addition to the above jabs at the changeyness Obama, and America, got this:

Khamenei, wearing a black turban and dark robes, said America was hated around the world for its arrogance, as the crowd chanted "Death to America."

I guess you can't learn everything you need to know in Kindergarten. Sometimes you can't make people like you just by being nicer to them. I just wish I didn't have to sit around and wonder how long its going to take the Obama administration to understand that.

What's the Problem? Its Not Like They're Going to Get the Joke.

2009-03-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

What happens when Obama doesn't have the teleprompter running?

Very nice. Can you imagine if George Bush (pick one) had said this. Katy bar the door. Keith Olbermann would be 15 shades of foundation with red under it and he would be calling for his execution.

And for those people still sticking it to Sarah Palin (let it gooooo) you'll be super tickled that Obama took this swipe at her Downs Syndrome child. Good one, Guys! *golf claps*

Well, at least it will detract from the AIG snafu.

Water, Water, Everywhere...

2009-03-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

Here's something to consider when us Northern Cal types have to start rationing water this summer. From Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics:

One of the factors in California's periodic water crises...is that California farmers' use of water is subsidized so heavily that its price to farmers is less than one percent of what the same amount of water costs people living in Los Angeles or San Francisco. The net result is that agriculture, which accounts for about 10 percent of the states' output, consumes three-quarters of its water. Another consequence of subsidize water is that farmers grow crops requiring great amounts of water, such as rice and cotton, in California's very dry climate, where such crops would never be grown if farmers had to pay the real costs of the water they use. Inspiring as it may be to some that California's arid lands have been enabled to produce vast amounts of fruits and vegetables with the aid of subsidized water, those same fruits and vegetables could be produced more cheaply elsewhere with water supplied free of charge from the clouds.

...the government of India provides "almost free electricity and water" to farmers according to The Economist...encouraging farmers to plant too much "water guzzling rice," with the result that water tables in the Punjab "are dropping fast."...

Where do the environmentalists/locavores stand on this one? I don't wonder. But, when you're out buying your locally grown produce ask yourself if it makes sense to be able to buy an avocado, native to American tropics, that was grown in California? Did it really save the planet if the water level in the Delta dropped in order to sufficiently water the trees to bring fruit?

I found this from an avocado grower in Temecula:

We need a lot of water to be able to produce avocados and the drought is forcing us to rethink our plans for the future. Last year we had a mandatory 30% reduction in our water supply. As a result, the trees are looking quite sorry for themselves, despite the fact that our water usage was higher than allowed for the last month and we had to pay a stinging penalty to the water company...So the rising cost of water will probably prevent us from continuing to grow avocados.

And that's exactly what should happen. She continues:

There is a base level of water required to keep avocado trees alive, but they don't produce fruit at this level. Water given over and above this amount results in fruit. If we don't give the trees that extra amount of water, the grove becomes effectively a rather expensive landscape.

Years ago when the avocado groves were first planted in California, water was available and there were tax incentives to grow food. The tax incentives no longer exist and water is becoming scarce.

I can't be the only one that sees how absurd this all is. The state should pay an incentive to grow a crop that wastes scarce resources? The conclusion:

California is a great place to grow food because of all the sun we get, but unless we can save more of the fresh water falling from the sky and get it piped here, farmers will gradually stop producing food.

Sweetie, do you contradict yourself a wee bit here? California is a great place to grow food because there is an abundance of sun. Got it. But what about the scarcity of fresh water? How does that not figure into the equation of stuff you need to grow things? You know: Sun + Water = Great growing conditions. Your formula is: Sun + X = Great growing conditions. Then you tell the government to solve for X at its own expense and at the expense of the ecosystem we supposedly cherish above and beyond our own persons.

*Bangs head on desk repeatedly to make it stop*

A Coffee Table Book about Coffee Tables

2009-03-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

That's starting to sound like an even better idea now that I've seen this:

Seriously, the dude has been in office a little over a month. And it hasn't been the best month. And I'm pretty sure they didn't get this written and edited and published and shipped to Costco in the last week. In fact, the release date was February 16, 2009. At that point, President Obama had been in office about 3 weeks and probably still hadn't figured out how to use all the remotes for the TVs in the master suite.

And, let's be honest, his time in the Senate wasn't marked by any kind of brilliant or amazing work. Nothing that would warrant a glossy coffee table book of this nature. But that's how it works now. You don't have to do anything to be special and the recipient of wild adulation. Have great hair, look good in a suit, flash a little bajingo, excel at reading speeches off a teleprompter, carry a tiny dog. Instant celebrity.

And let's not argue that just getting elected is worthy of coffee table book status. Just ask Chester Alan Arthur.

So what is in the book since the list of accomplishments is only going to take up about a column or two? Well, here's Obama getting out of an SUV lookin' fly GQ-style (and an inexplicable photo of John McCain). There's also a quote referring to Obama's street cred by invoking his familiarity with Jay-Z.

Yes, President Obama, we get it...you won. You can stop saying it now. You can stop having your evil minions at the Times remind us of it too. Sheesh.

Its the Thoughtlessness That Counts

2009-03-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

As if presenting the Prime Minister of Britain with the impossibly underwhelming gift of a set of DVDs weren't bad enough, today's international gifting snafu also included a translation error:

GENEVA — The United States and Russia tried to mend their frayed relationship by having their top diplomats sit down to dinner here on Friday. Before the appetizer was served, the diplomatic first date had gotten off to an awkward start because of a gag gift gone awry.

Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton, in greeting Sergey V. Lavrov, the Russian foreign minister, presented him with a red plastic button emblazoned with the English word “reset” and the Russian word “peregruzka.”

Yes, a gag gift presented to Russia from the United States in front of the world. It hearkens back to a former era. Surely you all remember from your history studies that at the signing of the Treaty of Amiens, Joseph Bonaparte presented the Marquess Cornwallis with a giant but torn whoopie cushion that read, "Je ne pète pas dans votre direction générale!"* Yes, gag gifting between nations is a time honored tradition and not at all embarrassing for our country.

And the fun doesn't stop there:

“We worked hard to get the right Russian word,” Mrs. Clinton said, handing the button to Mr. Lavrov. “Do you think we got it?”

Can you guess?

“You got it wrong,” he replied, explaining that the Americans had come up with the Russian word for overcharged.

Excellent.

“We won’t let you do that to us,” [Clinton] said quickly, with a full-throated laugh.

Yes, but good job implying that they want to. Sneaky, overcharging Russian bastards. This is a great day for diplomacy, America. Be proud.

*Loose translation: I do not fart in your general direction.

It's the Thought that Counts

2009-03-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Continuing with the previous theme comes this article:

President Obama gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of 25 classic American films to mark his historic visit to the White House, British media reported on Friday.
Brown, the first European leader to visit Obama since his Jan. 20 inauguration, was presented with a "special collector's box" of DVDs during his two-day visit to Washington.

Brown, who is not known to be a movie buff, gave the president and his children several uniquely historical gifts.
The first of which is a pen holder fashioned from the oak timber of HMS Gannet, a Navy vessel that served on anti-slavery missions off Africa.
Another treasure given to Obama is a framed commissioning paper for HMS Resolute, a Royal Navy ship that came to symbolize British-American goodwill when it was rescued by the U.S. from icebergs and given to Queen Victoria. It is the sister ship of the HMS Gannet.

And please be sure to pick up one of our official White House, "Suck it, UK!", bumper stickers on your way out.

Obama Busts a Move...Scratch That...Moves a Bust

2009-03-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

Here's what conservatives are talking about today.

First, that thing you're wearing. Take it off. No really. We HATE it. Its on all the message boards. You're welcome.

We're also talking about Obama saying, "Thank, but no thanks," to the British government's gift of a bust of Winston Churchill.

The valuable bronze by Sir Jacob Epstein had been loaned by the British government to George W. Bush...and had gazed with weary wisdom over the Oval Office ever since...[until] President Obama declined the British offer to extend its loan...

Hmm. Kinda rude. Maybe its this?

The London Telegraph attempted an explanation: "Churchill has less happy connotations for Mr. Obama than those American politicians who celebrate his wartime leadership. It was during Churchill's second premiership that Britain suppressed Kenya's Mau Mau rebellion. Among Kenyans allegedly tortured by the colonial regime included one Hussein Onyango Obama, the President's grandfather."

Maybe its that. Or maybe he read that Churchill believed that, "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." Nah. Its probably the torture thing. Well, generations old personal grudges based on allegations certainly DO have a place in international relations. I think we can all agree to that. But how does that explain Obama's treatment of British Prime Minister Gordon Brown during his visit this week?

...on this side of the Atlantic the whole business looked pretty demeaning. The morning papers and TV last night featured plenty of comment focused on the White House's very odd and, frankly, exceptionally rude treatment of a British PM. Squeezing in a meeting, denying him a full press conference with flags etc.

Sheesh, what did Gordon Brown do? Beat one of Obama's cousins in a game of snooker?

All kidding aside, I'm very concerned about what this potential realignment of US loyalty signifies. Which of the promised or hinted at paradigm shifts is this?

Roller Coaster

2009-03-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

First, I got all excited when I read this:

It took longer than it should have, but the State Department finally decided late last week to drop out of the horror show that is the United Nations

But then it went on:

...conference on racism.

That left me feeling a little:

Oh well, its something.