The Archive of Scribbles

Hiatal Concerns

2013-10-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

Well I guess the only regular thing you can count on me for is irregularity.

A lot of major upsets in my life since I last posted. Can't believe that was way back in June.

But I have scraped together the pieces and are putting them back together again.

Hopefully I can get back to this blog. Or start another one?

That's one of the pieces I'll need to figure out.

Teej out again, for now.

FreeWriting: The Package

2013-05-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

Work sucks 😞 It's an inescapable fact of life. I'd say my work sucks worse than yours, and I say that with confidence. Hard to match working 17 hours a day with no downtime and no respect for my job, plus no off days, not even weekends. There is no way they can pay me enough to continue to do this shit.

So, here I am. Escaping into a world I make by myself. Hey, it means more fiction for you when you're bored somewhere. I wish I had the time to be bored.

Before we start, I should note that I used a prompt to write this, and I will be updating almost-maybe-not-really-i-don't-know-definitely daily. And the next part will be on this very same post. Helps the latecomers get up to speed.

EDIT (28/5/2013): Added more today!

29/5: Added parts 2 and 3!

31/5 : Added more!
4/6 : Wow late update. Added more today!
25/6 : Wow, two weeks.I am so glad I didn't commit to saying daily for realsies up there. Anyhoo, did some edits, caught some typos, added one or two sentences. Functionally similar. Oh, and added a few things after the line: My phone rang again...

This is the prompt:

And this is the story.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Exposure and Underexposure

2013-04-22T08:54:00.000+08:00

After work I lay down with my trusty iPad and started watching videos. One thing led to another and before you know it I'd watched the entire first season (and fan film) of Fallout: Nuka Break. It's an awesome show. It's got references to weapons and abilities and items in the Fallout game (in fact, the whole series is about a guy trying to get one of those in game items; a soda called Nuka Cola). It's got special effects, cool action, an engaging story and all the trappings one would expect from a studio with a much larger budget.

Afterwards I got to thinking, man, hasn't technology progressed so fast since I was a kid? Last time just having a computer meant you were much cooler than anybody else, but now what matters is what you do with it. Play games, do work, watch porn, you name it. And anybody with any creativity can publish their works for everyone to admire.
Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Post Call

2013-04-22T08:23:00.000+08:00

Soooo I'm post call today. Having breakfast. Probably gotta go back to work soon (yes, that's my life).

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Just How Many Frikken Dragons Are There Anyway?

2012-08-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

See that? That is exactly how far I have gotten into the latest book in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, A Dance with Dragons. And already it has kneed me in the crotch.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Mental Lethargy

2012-03-06T15:26:00.002+08:00

Juggling between doctoring and life has my mind blocked out to EVERYTHING, leaving me miserable.

All Hallows Read 2011

2011-10-29T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hey there everybody. I know, I know: Halloween is just around the corner, and I should have posted this list a hell of a long time ago so that y'all can get these books and read them. But the way I see it All Hallows Read is supposed to promote reading not just for Halloween, but all year long. So here goes: these are some books you can pick up to get into the spirit of Halloween.

Coraline - Neil Gaiman

First up, two Neil Gaiman books. Why yes, I am a fan! This one is the ultra creepy nightmare fuel inducing trauma causing Coraline, which has been made into an admittedly not that less creepy film version. This particular edition has some crazy illustrations that I really did not need to see in it, thus making the book a great gift to any kid you want to traumatise for life.

The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman

The second Neil Gaiman book on this list is The Graveyard Book. Basically, Neil Gaiman has said that his favorite book as a kid was The Jungle Book, and was kind of disappointed kids nowadays only know the Disney version and not the original version he read. So he set out to write a similar book to both help show kids what they're missing, and as a shout-out to Rudyard Kipling. So while Mowgli was abandoned in the jungle to be raised by wolves, Nobody Owens was abandoned in a graveyard to be raised by ghosts. This is awesome stuff.

Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk

Okay Haunted isn't actually scary. Nope, not scary at all. The feeling you'd most likely experience reading this is probably nausea and disgust. I'll say no more lest I spoil things. To be honest I get why a book that causes disgust would be associated with fear; they're both related. They're caused by things that are shocking, that are beyond what we know, and things that we reject in our normal everyday life. But to me that seems kind of cheap. It's like having a crush on a hot girl but fucking her less attractive cousin instead. It's still worth a read, though.

American Psycho - Bret Easton Ellis

Scary? American Psycho? Well, yes. Reading this, you get the sense that nothing is real. The characters have no sense of time, place, and person. They don't know whether something has or has not happened. And neither do you. Since the story is told from the main titular character's point of view, you get a sense of what it's like inside a psycho's head; or maybe just somebody who wishes he was a psycho. Uh, what?

Anything by H.P Lovecraft

I'll admit to being a Lovecraft fan. I absolutely love stuff from the Cthulhu Mythos, and everything else Lovecraft has written. There's something not entirely explainable hidden behind every story that gets to me, and once I'm done with a story I'll start to wonder why exactly it was that I felt not so safe sitting in my room. Very highly recommended.

House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski

House of Leaves is the most discussed book on this list. Some are arguing that it isn't horror at all. Some are arguing about the meaning behind all the lists and bibliographic references in the book, and even more are arguing that the book is the house. Whatever it is, the events and descriptions described in this book (house?) ~~especially with regards to the minotaur~~, are brick-shittingly scary. And the moment the book's formatting goes crazy (you'll know it when you see it), the shit really hits the fan. Seriously, get this one, if nothing else.

World War Z: An Oral History of The Zombie War - Max Brooks

To be honest I'm not scared at all by zombies. Especially the slow ones. Oh no, I'll have to shuffle along faster if I want to escape! And what about the fast ones? Now there's a threat, but not really anything to shiver under your blanket about. Still, if you love zombie stories this is worth a read.

Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King

I actually wanted to post IT, since it was the first book I read that scared me shitless, but for the life of me I can't find it. This is not IT, but rather a collection of Stephen King's short stories but hey this works too. There are a few stories in here that are genuinely scary, and quite a lot that aren't, but the recommendation stands: find a Stephen King horror novel. You'll be glad you did (or not).

I guess that's it. I hope I'll have more material to post for next year's All Hallows Read. So what do you think, scary enough, too lighweight? Have suggestions of your own? Let me know in the comments below! Until then goodnight out there...whatever you are.

Confessions

2011-10-16T23:03:00.001+08:00

I fell asleep at the wheel.

Vapidity and Nothingness : I am not entirely sure what vapidity means

2011-10-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

Ooooh, look, Vapidity means "jejunity: the quality of being vapid and unsophisticated" (source.) and Vapid means "lacking liveliness, dull" (source.) in turn. Yay!

Wait, don't go! Post is not over!

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

LILA MUST DIE! (Apologies to any readers named Lila)

2011-10-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

So...I suppose you guys have noticed that I haven't been updating too much lately. I promised two things, didn't I-no, three! I promised to blog regularly, even if it is just dumb updates on my boring life that nobody cared about, I promised to continue my Philosophising, and I promised fiction. I didn't deliver on all counts, and I sincerely apologise.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Blogger for iOS!

2011-10-03T10:25:00.001+08:00

I should actually be doing this on the iPad and not the iPod, eh wot?

Okay Emo Post.

2011-08-18T11:15:00.000+08:00

I guess I shouldn't be writing this.

Lately me and Farra have been going out a lot. Our last date was last night, and the date before that was the night before. I'm not complaining; the only complaint I have is that we're not together for every waking second. I really miss her when she's not there. Am I being incredibly needy and clingy? Yes, I suppose. I'm sorry, I just love her so.

But here's the thing. The more I love her the more I grow insecure. The more I see her as completely perfect, the absolute one for me, the more I feel like I'm not worthy. It's as if at any moment she'll see what a horrible choice she's made in loving me and will immediately seek out somebody who's more worth her time. I don't want that, yet what can I do? I'm really afraid of losing her. Even when there's no immediate threat. I don't want to lose her.

Ah, I'm rambling. This is stupid. Okay I'mma shut up now.

Good Night, Sweet Prince

2011-08-18T11:05:00.001+08:00

Find more artists like Black Robot at Myspace Music

Okay fair warning: My mind is kinda all over the place and my heart is...well, in Setia Alam. So sorry if this doesn't come across as entirely coherent.

Okay as most of my friends know I drive a red BMW all over the place. What most of my friends probably don't know is that I now used to drive a red BMW.


The vehicle in question.

So I say used to drive now because it's been sold. Yes, the iconic signature vehicle of the Teejmeister has been sold off. Yesterday, in fact. The car is no longer in the lot.


Not pictured: Sadness.

Okay I get that it's an old car, and it requires almost as much attention as a dying man in ICU to even run properly, but you'll forgive the car-shaped hole in my heart and for some reason Farra's 'The Parking Lot Is Empty' bumrushing my head. It wasn't my first car, but it was the one I'd driven the longest. All throughout CUCMS too.

And through more than a few parking lots. Which are empty.

Ah, the faint nostalgia. A lot of fond memories in the car. Most of them, I'm not at liberty to say.

View from one side of the memories...

View from the other.

My dear sweetie also had to choke back sobs of grief at the news that some dude had purchased the rights to dear old Bubub (her pet name for the car). And speaking of my baby, while clearing out the car I realised just how much of the stuff inside is her stuff. If leaving stuff in a man's personal space is marking her territory, then it's no wonder she's the only chick who's ever been in there.

So sweet :-) She made these for the car.

Ahem. So about the car. It's a BMW, red, handles okay, lacks acceleration, it's a...318? I dunno, man, details.


'Nuff said.

Ah well it's been fun. So now I'm driving my sister's Myvi around, it handles slightly less but accelerates like a mutha. That's a temporary set-up until I get my new car. Hopefully we can make more memories inside it.

View from the HUD.

And there you have it. A pretty crappy euology, but aside from the memories associated with it, it's a pretty crappy car. Only thing that sold it was it was an antique, of sorts. New owner's going to modify it, pimp it right the fuck up. Good luck with that. Just take care of it and I'll be happy.

EDIT: I totally forgot to mention. Farra has always expressed a desire to drive Bubub for as long as I can remember, but I never let her due to her not having a license. Well she got hers recently, and I went full 180 on my stance on her driving; I wanted her to drive, really badly. But we kept putting it off, until the night before when we had a short date. On the way back, I handed her the keys and let her drive. It was an exhilarating experience, and a really touching and sweet moment; that the car's last moment was with the girl I loved. I regret not having a clear picture of her in the driver's seat. Well, the new car's first experience shall be of her driving. That, I hope, can come true.

MY BOOK CAME IN THE MAIL, I CAME TOO

2011-07-26T17:48:00.000+08:00

ALL CAPS POST WARNING!!!!!

COME HOME FROM GYM, FIND AMAZON BOX

GET OVEREXCITED, RIP OPEN PACKAGING

FIND COPY OF A DANCE WITH DRAGONS

FREAK THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD ARRIVE THIS EARLY

PINCH SELF TO SEE IF DREAMING

NOT DREAMING

HOLLER BATTLECRY IN DINING ROOM, MAID FREAKS THE FUCK OUT, CALLS POLICE

REASSURE COPS I'M NOT NUTS, JUST OVEREXCITED

SNAP THIS PICTURE

ZOMGWTFOHGODFAPFAPFAPFAP

IMMEDIATELY START READING

p/s: I apologise for that, but I was seriously that excited.

I Haven't Abandoned My Blog, What Are You Talking About? Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

2011-07-26T10:54:00.000+08:00

Hey. So I realise I haven't done much writing here. No poems, no philosophy, not even a drug fuelled rant about how God and the pigeons are one, trust the pigeons. Literally a blank! Like, like, well, a blank!

Yes, yes, make fun of my lack of vocabulary.

I have, in the past, ignored my blog due to a busy schedule. I now also ignore my blog due to a busy schedule, but instead of being busy trying to cram more knowledge in my noggin for an upcoming examination, I am now busy trying to have as much fun as possible.

Strange? Yes. Confused? Good. Keep calm and carry on.


Love this poster by the way.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

I Haven't Abandoned My Blog, What Are You Talking About?

2011-06-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

Okay so it may look like I've gotten really really lazy with the updates but I've actually been really busy with other stuff. Now I'm sort of not supposed to be busy with other stuff but I kinda am, with, uh, other stuff. So this is my first post in, like, forever.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Testing Out

2011-06-03T13:23:00.001+08:00

Okay new design. I like this one so I guess it's going to stay for a while. Also testing the 'Delayed' Post function. This should be published on...June 3rd, 2011, at exactly 1.23 pm. I hope I can make new posts in the interim...? Well, let's see.

Okay That Worked Well

2011-06-03T00:28:00.000+08:00

I guess it should. This is the interim post I talked-sorry, will talk about in the delayed time post.

Major props to Lasantha Bandara for her beautiful looking blog design.

Here, have a link.

http://www.premiumbloggertemplates.com/2010/11/aparatus-premium-blogger-template.html

Short Rant: I, Pirate, Would Like To Lodge a Formal Complaint.

2011-05-07T13:26:00.000+08:00

Short one today. Yes I know I haven't been here a while and I don't intend to stay for too long, but this got to me good.

As you guys owning iOS devices know, 'jailbreaking' your device liberates it from Apple's Big Brother-like control, allowing you to install pirated versions of apps. Yes, I realise there's more to it than that, but I have a hard time believing Malaysians care beyond 'I CAN HAS FREE APPZ DURR HURR.' I find it easier to believe there are Malaysians out there who read, even if it is limited to just the signboards on the highway.

It is perhaps obvious here this is a vitriolic post. Sorry.

Anyway. Whilst browsing the app store for some appz, (durr hurr) I found one I was interested in. I won't say which app, but suffice to say you can use it to buy stuff. Hopefully that's general enough. So there I was, checking out the screenshots and the description, then I went to the reviews. That's where my animosity comes from.

Quite a few of them had rated the app one star out of five, with SOME words in ALL CAPS as if a tiny MARIACHI was dancing ON THEIR capslock key. I did want to see what was wrong with it, so I read the review. As it turns out, the reviewer was criticising the app maker disallowing the use of paypal to make your purchase if your device was jailbroken. The reviewer went on to emphasize, in ALL CAPS, how jailbreaking was LEGAL.

First off, yes, jailbreaking has been ruled by the US Supreme Court to be legal. I was surprised to find that out, but apparently our friend here is right. Fair enough. But what would you be doing with a jailbroken device in the first place? Of course, so you can play all seventeen versions of Angry Birds without having to pay a single cent. Like I said, jailbreaking allows a lot of things but I doubt anybody knows or even cares. So how about all those apps, or IPA files you have on that device? Obviously the developer never meant to release it as a free IPA file (or why bother charging 0.99 USD for it on the app store in the first place), so all those twenty eight Angry Birds apps you have are basically stolen property. Whoops! So the truth is, you are a pirate.

That's not all bad. A lot of my games are pirated, but since Steam and other online delivery game stores, I find myself with more original versions of games. And hey, if I enjoy it enough, I'll go out and buy the original game and even DLC too (such was the case with Dragon Age). Still, whenever I hear something I don't particularly like about a game (The DRM on Assassin's Creed 2, or the mediocre reviews of New Vegas) I immediately flick the 'Fuck This Shit' switch in my brain and torrent the mutha. I'm not saying being a pirate is all bad - well, okay, it is, but what you do with your money is no concern of mine and is not what I'm here for.

No, it's you complaining that the company doesn't support pirates.

Admit it. The only reason you went all Scofield on your iPhone is to play all thirty two versions of Angry Birds for free. So once you do that, you actually give up the right to complain about shit. It's not like you're paying for the fucking app. Fuck, the app I'm talking about? It's free. FREE. EFF-ARR-EE-EE. It costs as much as air does these days, or your mom back when she was a hundred years younger and a hundred kilos lighter. The devs made a perfectly good working app, and made it available for FREE, even to those who don't pirate shit, and you who never paid for anything ever just waltz up here and complain that you're not being paid attention to.

The nerve.

I could go on-I have, actually, but I cut it out. There is no point in this; I just wanted to express amazement at the sheer SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT that rules the Malaysian hivemind. I thought I knew how far it went, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Well, amazement expressed. Rant over.

POEM: El Dorado

2011-04-12T21:03:00.001+08:00

To be completely honest with you all I have no idea what this is. A poem? A description? A story? I don't know. I tried making it into a poem but...well, this is the result. All I knew was I had to write it down before the feeling left. It could do with some editing, but maybe later; when I'm not too busy. Constructive criticism very much appreciated, if you have time to spare.

Dedicated to Farra.

Read the poem itself after the break.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Diary Rant: Until It's Gone

2011-03-14T21:05:00.000+08:00

I used to think my hand phone was, while useful, expendable. Nobody contacted me unless they wanted something. Useful in the events of needing instant communication, but that was it. I didn't find myself saying 'Oh, I couldn't live without my phone' like some people are fond of gushing. I needed it, true, but I could certainly live without it, and sometimes wished I did.

But then I had a girlfriend.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Filosophy Friday: Let’s Read ‘Philosophy: A Very Short Introduction’ by Edward Craig, Part 2

2011-03-11T22:39:00.001+08:00

Hey everybody and welcome to this week’s edition of Filosophy Friday. This is the second part of a series where I explore a book in my possession, ‘Philosophy: A Very Short Introduction’ by Edward Craig as a kind of beginner’s primer to the wide subject of philosophy. If you missed the first one, you can find it in the handy dandy sidebar to your left, where it says ‘Filosophy Friday Archive’.
First off I’d like to apologise for posting so darned late, when it’s almost Saturday already, but time and tide waits for no man, as they say, so I kinda found myself only free at this very moment. I’d also like to try some new features to speed up the blogging process, so I’m kinda alt-tabbing between the blogging and the feature testing and whatnot. Once again, I apologise.

Okay, so reading back on the first post, I was struck by what a mess it was. Me and Farra both like things to be neat and orderly, so you can imagine how horrified I was to read it in retrospect and find out that the ideas presented in the post were a mess. So now, I’d like to try a different tack; read the chapter first, let it simmer, then type out a short summary. Hopefully this way I get it all organised and stuff and shit.

Today we’ll be looking at Chapter 2 of the book, entitled; “What Should I do? Plato’s Crito”. If you remember in the first chapter, the author presented three essential philosophical questions: What Should I Do, How Do We Know, and What Is There, or What Is the Nature of Things? He will explore each of these by presenting us with a particular philosophical view that attempts to answer each of these, which provides a nice entry into the very wide subject of philosophy.

Now, on with the show.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Filosophy Friday: Let’s Read ‘Philosophy: A Very Short Introduction’ by Edward Craig, Part 1

2011-03-04T16:27:00.001+08:00

For the next few weeks (if I’m going chapter by chapter, eight) I’ll be going through this book my dad picked up at the UM bookstore, called Philosophy: A Very Short Introduction by Edward Craig. It’s a very good introduction to philosophy, and one that you can spend days wracking your head over even if it is, as the author claims, just a roadmap to the study of philosophy. It explores a few concepts, points us in the general direction of a few good philosophers and their works, and hopefully armed with this knowledge we can ourselves have a working knowledge of philosophy with which we can hold a fruitful discussion.

I am not going to reproduce the text of the book, not only due to copyright issues but also because it’ll be a hell of a job. It’s not so thick, in fact it’s thin enough to fit in a pocket, but it’s still too much work for a side project. While typing this out I still found it was quite a job, so luckily I didn’t try it. Also I think it’s better for me to try and decipher and discuss the various points highlighted by the author. Any quotes from the author will be marked with quote marks ‘like this’. It’s also important for me to highlight that I’m expanding and adding to what the author says, and any parts which are unclear or deserve a specific example I can call to my mind will be expounded upon. Philosophy, after all, isn’t a subject to be memorised and accepted at face value, but one to be criticised and discussed, so I will do just that.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Regarding Podcasts

2011-03-03T22:49:00.001+08:00

Hey everybody. I was supposed to update yesterday but I kinda had a lot of things on my mind. But I’m not here to speak of that, I’ve decided. Too dull and depressing. I’ve decided to let everyone know what I’m listening to on my iPod: podcasts.

Turn the Page (more, after the Jump).

Worst Start To The Week

2011-02-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hey y'all. I kinda get why I didn't update so often previously; takes a lot of time and dedication to do so. Well I should be able to multitask. I'm a doctor after all.

Speaking of which, I have never felt more inadequate as a doctor before today. We had ward rounds today and Dr Sabri simply walked out on us since we didn't cover the patients we were supposed to. Two of them were mine (in fact he walked out after I said I hadn't clerked the patient yet). It was kinda a stroke of bad luck; he always did the rounds in one order, and I clerked fully half the patients I was supposed to (six, which makes me look really fucking stupid) in that order but then he went the other way, towards the beds I hadn't clerked yet...disaster ensued.

I'm really hoping there are no lasting consequences to this. The last thing I need is the rest of the lecturers bearing down on me again. I'm trying my best, but it just isn't enough. I'm at the stage where I'm supposed to know the things I don't, if that makes sense. I have to already know certain things which I took for granted back when I didn't take my studies seriously, and now I should be learning new things on top of catching up. It's hard, and sometimes I wish some slack could be cut my way. Though to be honest, it's entirely my fault. I should have done this, should have done that. Shouldn't have done this, shouldn't have done that. I'm twenty four years old. And already I have regrets I wish with all my heart I could undo. Is it surprising I have grey hair already?

If it's any consolation to myself, I love fiction. I love making shit up like Dedushka Igor did in the past post. This writing business is something I enjoy, not because I want to shove ideas in front of an audience (I have the Filosophy Friday column for that) but because...well, it's fun. It's fun to imagine people doing things. Things I wish I could do, yanno? Like hang gliding, or jet skiing, or hiding a corpse. Ah, it's great to imagine.

But once I'm done I'm back in reality, back to the regrets, back to the realisation that I am still nowhere near the vicinity of 'As good as I should be'. And that kinda sucks, but we all need a reality check. We had the spinning top in Inception, mine is just...looking at the mirror. Okay, depressing. Let's stop before somebody (me) gets hurt.