Had an argument with the road… and the road won

I’ll keep this brief because I’m trying to keep the blood off my keyboard…

There’s an unwritten rule of the road in Asia: give way to anything bigger than you. It’s the compliment to the principal maxim ‘why go around it if you can go over it’? Lane markings are purely decorative. Trucks break for nobody. And I think I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen a turn signal put to use.

So as a motorcyclist you quickly learn to stay well away from anything with more than two wheels. That usually means riding on the shoulder of the road (which is actually the convention for motorcycles).

This isn’t a dig at the state of driver education in Thailand (that post is here). No one else was involved in my little accident (thankfully). I just mention it because that’s where I was where this little episode went down.

I’ve been bilking for some time now (like about a year), but most of that experience has been on the same, familiar roads in the immediate vicinity of my home. I figure if I’m going to ride across Asia I’d better start to venture a little further afield and get some experience navigating in less familiar territory.

Well, lucky I did. Because I’m learning already—the hard way (which is also the only way). And I’ve packaged my learning up into a neat little formula for The Journal of Rookie Motorcycling Mistakes:

shoulder + bend + lean + gravel = pain

Mucho daño.

I gotta say—that moment when you realize that things are about to get traumatic is an interesting one. A moment of disbelief. And then… Something strange happens to time. First it moves slowly. Then it seems to be missing. That happens about the time you register a total lost of traction with the ground. I guess another part of the brain kicks in at that point and sort of relieves you of command. It says ‘okay, I think you’ve done enough. I’ll take it from here’.

I’m no longer making decisions, just riding it out. Lucid. But without resistance. I don’t particular remember leaving my bike. But I know it wasn’t there while I was bouncing and spinning across the asphalt (or was it the world that was spinning?). Fortunately I was wearing a helmet (I usually don’t) otherwise my recollection might be very different.

My spidy-sense tells me that somewhere, off-retina, a car is pulling over and the driver, exiting. But this peripheral cognition is overshadowed by the awareness that large tracts of my skin feel like they were just polished with sand paper and I can’t think of much I would rather do than just lay here for a while.

I am however compos enough to figure out that the side of a road is not somewhere you want to be lying for any length of time, so I manage to get the top half of me upright and settle for sitting there instead.

The guy with the car door is standing nearby now interrogating me in Thai. I don’t understand the words, but logic dictates that he’s asking if I’m alright, and—remarkably, gratefully—I am. So I inform him of that fact. But I’m fairly preoccupied with dealing with the immediate repercussions of of sand-paper-skin (i.e. extreme discomfort). And he can figure this much out on his own.

I manage to hoist myself up on to the railing and slump there a while longer. Only now do I get another look at my bike—which is lying on its side about 15 metres away.

Soon another concerned party is on the scene. They give me water and call an ambulance. The driver of which—although I’ve suffered only minor, supericial injuries and there is no real emergency—still insists on putting my life in renewed danger by speeding to the local clinic at breakneck speed, spending more time operating the horn than the steering wheel. See what I mean about keeping it on the shoulder?

My wounds are dressed and I’m sent home to wait for my wife who was out when she got the news that her husband had a motorcycle accident on a road which apparently kills several each year.

I’m expecting something to the effect of “I told you so” (she did).

Instead she says:

It takes a long time to grow up and just a few seconds to die.

Word.

Lessons I learned on my date with the bitumen

• If you’re going to ride a motorcycle—Asia or not—do yourself a favor and wear shoes.
• Gravel’s good for neither riding on nor rolling around in. I don’t recommend either activity.
• Hitting the pavement is not as painful as you might think. It’s getting up again that hurts the most.
• Intensity is good (sometimes). It wakes you up and puts you back in your body.

Things I’m grateful for

• I’m grateful I was wearing a helmet today (I usually don’t)
• I’m grateful I got this experience just a few miles from home instead of in the middle of the Cambodian wilderness. It was a relatively gentle wake-up call that could have been much worse.
• I’m grateful this happened on a quiet, country road and not on the Bangkok express way.
• I’m grateful some helpful folks where on the scene and quick to come to my aid.
• I’m grateful—very grateful—there was nobody else on the bike.

I’ll spare you the gruesome pics of my skinned palms. All things considered, I was pretty lucky to get off with a few cuts and bruises. I’ll be a wiser rider from now on.

Photo by knockhill

Your turn. Tell me your tails of near misses.

It's never too late

At that moment, my desire to accept and love myself just as I am came to full fruition.  Not only am I good enough, I am magnificent.
Laurie Sutton

Today I’m thrilled (and more than a little proud) to introduce the first ever guest post at The Art of Audacity by my friend and fellow fear-smasher, Laurie Sutton.

Over the last six months, I’ve watched Laurie create some truly remarkable changes in her life. She’s let go of the insecurities that were holding her back, quit her job of 13 years and is now building her own (profitable) art-business full-time. She’s creating her life on purpose; and she’s a shining example of what’s possible when you really decide that you’re going to allow what you want into your life.

Be sure to check out her new blog at Water’s Edge Creative—and especially her gallery of stunning, hand-crafted jewelry.

This is her inspiring story…

There are two simple but profound questions that can change the trajectory of your life…

Question #1

What’s your definition of freedom?

For me, it’s being able to live life on my own terms, free of the need for lots of stuff and lots of money, free of debt and society’s expectations.  And along with that, I never wanted to be rich or famous or successful in any kind of conventional way… but I’ve always wanted to be wise.

To be free is to live my life uniquely, seeking wisdom and adventure in my own way.

Question #2

What’s stopping you?

Well… when faced with that question, I felt a heavy, dark, years-old weight around me that I desperately wanted to shed.  Self-judgment, doubt, fear of unworthiness, old destructive thought patterns, and long-suppressed dreams had me feeling like my own mind was the enemy.  The way out from under it all felt utterly impossible.  But the question itself let in the first tiny rays of light.  It was a beginning, and we all need a place to start on the path to liberation.

Six months ago, I made two courageous choices…

First, inspired by Karol Gajda’s What If? posts, I asked myself, “what if I sign up for Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit?” I had no idea how I’d get myself to Portland.  I had no clue how I’d come up with the money.  I knew my boss would be less than happy about giving me time off to go.  And scarier than any of that, I had no inkling of how my introverted 40-year-old self would be able to manage among all those awesome, forward thinking, mostly-younger-than-me rockstars. But I’d been thrilled and moved by the stories I’d been reading in the blogs, about people who were leaving the so-called “real world” to live according to their own Light.  I wanted a piece of that, with every particle of my being.

Second, I began working with a life coach. On the outside, my life was not awful.  I lived in a nice house, I had a decent job using my artistic skills, I have a family and friends who love me.  But inside, I was a friggin’ mess.  Mentally and emotionally, I felt surrounded by a wall of resistance four miles high. I needed an anchor, someone who would listen to my stories and pain and fear and not run away no matter what.  When Lach invited me to share, the dam burst open.  I often wonder if he had any clue what he was getting himself into, but he never once responded with anything but kindness and encouragement, and that gave me the courage to plow ahead.  Through Skype calls and dozens of novel-length emails, I began to find my way.

One of the things that inspires me most at The Art of Audacity is the idea of taking on a goal so big you have to grow into the person who can achieve it.  For me at the end of 2010, signing up for WDS was that catalyst.  That choice sent me on the ride of my life.

Through the long winter months, I began exploring all that resistance. To keep from feeling crushed by despair at the height of the wall, I began by removing one stone.  Among other things, I faced the lingering ill effects of a terrifying abusive relationship from four years past.  I discovered how all of my bad choices surrounding this relationship had caused me not to trust myself, and I recognized that restoring my self-trust was the golden key to inhabiting my freedom.

I learned the immeasurable value of paying attention to my thoughts and emotions and how they interrelate. I learned that it’s possible to change the quality of my thoughts, and more light began to trickle in.  Each week, I worked on removing another stone from that wall of resistance.  After awhile, it became two or three stones.  I began to have breakthroughs.  I was amazed that the process was not so much about resolving old issues as it was about seeing that those issues had no real power over me in the present. I’ll never forget waking up one morning, after a crazy dream about getting married to I guy I didn’t even know, and feeling ecstatic with joy to be free of my old relationship disasters.  I’m still not sure exactly what caused the shift, all I knew is that I was free.  Suddenly, relationships were not the scariest thing in my world.  And I began to feel my power.

After that, victories came my way left and right. The evidence began to pile up.  Whatever I decided to change in my life, I went at it with both trepidation and hope, and sailed thru with flying colors.  A pattern developed:  Feel the fear, worry that I couldn’t do it, step out and try it anyway, be amazed when it worked out great. I started making bigger choices… grow my longtime side project, Water’s Edge Jewelry… set a date to leave my old job, which was playing a major part in the wall of resistance… learn how to build a website… dance on YouTube… Lach’s enthusiasm for fear-smashing was contagious, and I began to experience firsthand how what once seemed impossible could become the next natural step.

As the winter crawled by and turned into spring, my thoughts and feelings about attending WDS changed.  I got my ticket, made reservations for my first stay in a hostel, received plane tickets as a birthday gift from my parents, put in my notice at work for May 27^th so getting time off wasn’t an issue… all things that I could not foresee back when I signed up. Once again, things worked out for the best in spite of my worries.

All those outer changes feel marvelous to me.  My dreams of living life on my own terms were coming true! But I have always been an introspective soul, and my inner world proved much more challenging than the outer.  Persistent feelings of uncertainty and inadequacy kept creeping in, even though it was obvious I could rock at whatever I wanted to.  On the plane to Portland, I still wondered how I’d manage at that stellar gathering.

What I found was a beautiful sense of belonging…

All of my hard work in learning to pay attention to my thoughts and emotions, to accept and allow instead of resisting, to trust myself and follow my passions, was amplified and echoed at WDS.  It wasn’t just the ambitious entrepreneurs and the socially adept who would stop at nothing to live their unique path of freedom.  In her beautiful presentation about being unapologetically yourself, Karen Walrond said:

When you compare yourself to others, you’re comparing your inside to their outside.

At that moment, my desire to accept and love myself just as I am came to full fruition.  Not only am I good enough, I am magnificent. I am the only one who can contribute my particular gifts to the world.  I am the only one who can walk my luminous path!

So here I am, transformed, and transforming.  I’ve learned that “impossible” is just a word. I’ve learned that it’s okay to need help, and to receive it.  And I want to emphasize something here:  Don’t ever compare your fears, or your dreams, to anyone else’s. If I can overcome the fear of inadequacy and unworthiness to blossom into freedom, anyone can.  The layers upon layers of self-judgement, doubt, and mistrust I carried for decades are just thoughts with emotions attached.  Embracing that was the key which unlocked my true potential.  I’ve claimed the freedom that was always mine.

What’s your definition of freedom?

What’s stopping you?

Take care of yourself.  Love and trust yourself.
And watch those doors begin to open!

Songkran Water Festival, Thailand

Eventually I had to admit to myself that I would never truly be happy if I didn’t at least try my best to make it happen—I had to take a stab at it. It wasn’t an epiphany, just an honest realization that if you’re not living you’re dying. Wes Nations

I’m not an avid reader of travel blogs. But for Wes Nations, I’m happy to make an exception. In 2010, Wes left his job to realize a life-long dream: a year of round-the-world, over-land travel.

The chronicle of this adventure—JohnnyVagabond.com—is one of the finest and most entertaining travel blogs you’re likely to find. His photography is masterful. His stories are funny, gripping and skillfully told. Plus he offers plenty of no-nonsense, practical advice and how-to for the aspiring round-the-world adventurer.

On top of which—and my real motivation for this interview—Wes has lived out one of my personal dreams: to ride a motorcycle across Vietnam.

How could I resist getting the low-down?

Around the world, low and slow. That’s a big dream that a lot of people would like to realize. What held you back all these years and what was it that finally got you to take the plunge?

Traveling the world had been a dream of mine for twenty years or more but I just never managed to do it. There was always an excuse: I had a job that was too good to leave, or I knew I’d just never be able to afford it, or I didn’t want to be from my family for that long, etc. As I reached my forties, I found myself getting depressed and couldn’t quite figure out why I was so unmotivated and unhappy. Eventually I had to admit to myself that I would never truly be happy if I didn’t at least try my best to make it happen—I had to take a stab at it. It wasn’t an epiphany, just an honest realization that if you’re not living you’re dying. A year and a half later, I was on a plane to Bangkok.

Most of the time we’re always working to some schedule or deadline or objective. We’re busying ourselves with work and responding to the events of our lives. It’s hard to imagine an entire year with nothing to do but follow your bliss and wander from place to place. Such a radical shift in lifestyle must change ones perspective markedly. What has it meant for world view and what have you discovered about yourself?

Wow, that’s a tough one. I think the main thing I’ve noticed about myself is how much time I waste actively distracting myself from doing anything meaningful. Video games, television, web surfing, reading trashy novels, and such are all habits I’ve developed over my life to keep me distracted and (I thought) happy.

On the road I don’t have access to much of that—thought I do enjoy a good book on a 12-hour bus ride—and I find that I watch the world with more interest. I learn more. I’ve traveled mostly in the developing world and you don’t see people engaged in such things—they’re too busy trying to make a living. They stay busy and work their asses off and I have to say that most are some of the happiest people I’ve ever met in my life.

Can solo travel be a lonely experience?

Certainly! I’m bit of a lone-wolf by nature, so it doesn’t affect me as much as some but there are definitely low spots where you wish a friend or lover was sharing the moment with you. But finding a conversation is generally pretty easy—just go to a tourist or expat bar and you’ll have your fill of friendly banter in no time. It’s pretty easy to meet people on the road and I sometimes end up traveling with them for awhile. I met an Australian in Laos and we became good friends—we ended up traveling together for 6 weeks and some of our adventures were real highlights of the trip.

Varanasi, India

Is traveling this way dangerous? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were in genuine danger or afraid for your life?

I don’t think it’s any more dangerous than traveling across your home town. Anything can happen, of course, but then I could slip in the tub tomorrow and brain myself—no sense worrying about it. I’ve only been really scared a couple of times, both in Vietnam. The first was my own fault, getting involved in a poker scam in Saigon (and I knew it was a scam but I wanted the story). I managed to get out of it before it got really ugly, but it put the fear of God in me. A couple of close calls on the motorcycle while making my way to Hanoi got my heart pounding but it goes with the territory there. A little common sense and being aware of your surroundings is really all you need out here.

In all you’ve seen on your travels, what experience has shocked you, challenged you or changed you the most?

I’ve never mentioned this but the one moment that truly drove home the fact that I was in a very different world occurred on my first visit to Varanasi, India. The city sits on the sacred Ganges and many people are cremated on the ghats by the shore, so that their ashes may be released into the Ganges, freeing them from the circle of rebirth. I was walking along the ghats with my girlfriend that first morning when we saw something lying on the steps by the river.

I knew instinctively what it was but didn’t want to admit it, and tried to lead us away from the scene, saying “it’s probably a monkey”. But she insisted and as we drew closer we saw that it was a dead baby, probably 6 months old and had been in the water for a very long time. Cremations are very expensive here and children who die are usually buried in the river—a rope is tied to a rock and around the body, then they’re are dropped in the river from a boat. Eventually, the ropes break. It’s an image that I’ll never get out of my head, no matter how hard I wish I could.

Favorite country / experience so far?

Laos, easily. There was no one thing I did that was life-changing, but there is something about the pace and peace of that beautiful land. Friendly people, good food, and sitting by the Mekong while sipping a cold Beer Lao all make for a relaxing, almost meditative experience. Their tourism slogan is “Stay Another Day” and it is a perfect fit.

Life on the river, Laos

Sounds like you live pretty moment to moment. How far do you plan ahead with travel and accommodation? Ever found yourself stuck or stranded by the elements?

I’m the world’s worst planner. After almost a year and a half, I have made a grand total of one advance reservation and that was for my first night in Bangkok. I tend to visit places in the off-season, so housing usually isn’t a problem. This attitude catches me sometimes: I had to spend an extra day in Nong Kwai, Laos because I didn’t book a boat ticket soon enough. It was a lovely town on a river and I was staying in a $4-per-night bungalow, so I didn’t really mind. Ironically, it also was home to the best Indian food that I’ve ever had, despite my having spent at least eight months in India so far.

I’m planning to ride a motorcycle from Hanoi to Saigon (and well beyond). Having done the journey yourself (albeit in reverse) what are your absolute must sees? And what areas are to be avoided? What was the most dangerous stretch?

Oh man, I’m envious—I’d ride that route again in a heartbeat. Be sure to get up in the mountains—Dalat is delightful and makes for a nice break from the heat of the plains. I think my favorite stretch was from Kon Tum in the Central Highlands east to Hoi Ann. The road is in better shape than most routes and it’s 200 kilometers of curves, mountains, coffee plantations and terraced rice fields. Lovely.

The worst was probably the run from Dalat to Kon Tum. Expect a couple of long hard days dodging potholes and wiping dust from your eyes. Also the run from Hue to Ninh Binh is a 500 kilometer, 2-day grudge ride. Vinh is roughly midway and a good place to stay the night.

Vintage Motorcycle, Hoi Ann, Vietnam

Sounds like your bike was falling apart every five minutes. How much should a biker know about motorcycle maintenance before attempting to get from one end of the country to the other?

Yeah, in my case it was almost comical. I had a header bolt that kept falling out and getting lost. I got to know the repair shops pretty well and eventually had to pull over every thirty minutes and tighten the bolt. That gets old fast on a 2,000 kilometer trip. I’d recommend checking to see if the bolts have lock washers—mine didn’t and with the rough roads, everything vibrated apart. My very first day, the kickstand fell off, the exhaust came loose twice and the horn vibrated off—all in four hours of riding. Tighten everything you can reach each morning.

Reading your Fighting the Fear post gave me pause for thought. Was that intensity typical of your experience riding in Vietnam? How much experience should someone have before attempting to ride there? Did you work out any strategies for negotiating the chaotic traffic?

That day was a bit of an anomaly, as I really enjoyed the ride most of the time. Which is not to say it should be taken lightly—traffic here is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It makes India seem tame. I’ve ridden bikes full-time for almost twenty years and I was just dumbfounded by the experience. People drive every which direction at anytime and having someone pull into traffic while texting on his phone is a regular occurrence. It’s definitely not the place to learn to ride. Ride defensively, go with the flow and keep to the right and you should be okay. Never ride at night and whatever you do, watch for the buses—they are aggressive and yield for no one.

International driving permits are not recognized in Vietnam. Did you take a local driving test or did you just take your chances?

No, I just rented the bike and went for it, which is what most seem to do. I never had a problem.

Family on a scooter in Hanoi, Vietnam

I’ve read several reports from bikers in Vietnam saying that the Vietnamese Police love making trouble for foreigners and the best policy is to avoid them at all costs. Did you ever have any trouble with the authorities?

Not once. I was never pulled over but I suspect that if you are a ten dollar tip will get you free. The only time I was hassled on a bike was in Cambodia – a cop was standing under a shade tree and waved me over for a friendly shakedown. I just waved back and kept riding because he was on foot.

What were the biggest challenges or frustrations you encountered on the road? Was there ever a time when things got royally screwed up?

Things always get screwed up—it’s the way the world works. I prefer independent travel but had to break down and join a two-day tour to see Halong Bay. It was a disaster, with us not getting the night on the boat we’d been promised or any of the kayaking side trips or… well… anything really.

In Cambodia, they over-sold the bus for a 3 hour trip and told us they were upgrading us to a taxi. The only problem was that they packed nine people into a Toyota Corolla—I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my life. The driver actually had someone riding between him and the door—to this day I’m not sure who was working the pedals. But it happens and you roll with it. Usually a lousy situation at least gives you a good story that you can tell for the rest of your life.

Kids in Pushkar, India

Obviously you have to be very selective about what you carry around with you. Beyond clothing, what are the absolute essentials that you could not be without?

Well, since I’m a travel blogger and designer I just couldn’t do what I do without my Mac laptop and my DSLR camera. They’re heavy and I worry about theft all of the time, but it’s the price I have to pay. My iPhone has been the real surprise of the trip: I buy a local SIM wherever I am and use it for email, Facebook, reading, social media, tracking my site’s stats, listening to music, and—occasionally—as a phone. Also: bring earplugs. Lots of them.

Blogging takes a lot of energy at the best of times and it can’t be any easier from the road. Judging by the standard of your content I would guess you put a lot of energy into it. Any practices or tech-tips you use to make it easier?

It’s a full-time job or more, honestly. I put in 50-60 hours a week on the site but I love what I’m doing, so I’m not complaining. For tech tips, I’d recommend using old posts as templates—copy the html from the last one and change the text/links in a text editor. It’s a lot faster than using the WordPress interface which has to upload and update all the time. For writing, keep notes of anecdotes and observations—they can sometimes be the seed of a new story or be added to flesh out something you’re struggling with. And be prepared to spend a lot of time promoting it via social media—I spend more time using Twitter and Facebook than I do writing.

Kids in Sapa, Vietnam

How easy is it to get online? Is there good mobile internet coverage across vietnam?

Vitenam is wired. Bless their hearts. I had full 3G coverage in some of the most out-of-the-way places and being able to use the Map function in my iPhone to find where I was saved me hours of frustration. I sat at a cafe in Mui Ne and downloaded a 600MB OS update via their wifi while I ate dinner—their ‘net coverage is better than the US, in my opinion.

I’ve been debating whether to take my $4.5k MacBook Pro along with me or get some disposable equivalent just for the trip. I’m a little nervous about what it might be subjected to. Any tips on caring for valuable gadgets on the road?

Buy a good laptop sleeve. I use the ones from Booq and it’s saved my Mac from spills at least twice. You just have to be prepared to carry it with you everywhere unless you’re really sure it’s safe to leave in the room. Having things pilfered from your room is much more likely than being robbed on the street. I carry a large duffel that I put my valuables in and lock when I want to go out at night. Someone can still cut into it, of course, but then it’s obvious what happened. They’d rather sneak a few bucks out of your wallet and hope you don’t notice.

Portrait of a man in Pushkar, India

After all these incredible experiences, do you think you’ll ever go back to your old life? Is continual travel a sustainable lifestyle option? What does the future hold?

No, I’m ruined for the old life. Put me in a cubical and I’ll be smoking a shotgun within a month. I’m committed to making this a career—so much so that I’m selling my beloved motorcycle when I return home this summer. It’s my Rubicon—I’m not coming back. This is a sustainable lifestyle and there are dozens of ways to do it.

All of them are a lot of work and offer little security, so it’s not for everyone but it is doable. I’m not self-sufficient yet but I’m getting closer every month. I’ve got a couple of other projects that I’m working on, an ebook and a second site, that I hope will supplement my income well. The key seems to be creating multiple streams of income—a little here and there can add up to a livable wage.

Future plans are to spend a month of two in my home town, Austin, catching up with friends and family and hopefully making a little quick cash. Next is Mexico and Central America. I’ll get around to planning that portion of the trip one of these days.

Owning It

If you’re like most everybody else on the planet, there’s a gap between who you know yourself to be inside, and who you’re allowing yourself to be in the world. Between who you really are and how you’re showing up.

What you know is that you’re passionate. You’re deep. You’re curious. You’re powerful. And you want more.

What you’re expressing often falls far short of the mark.

At the heart of the gap is a fear. It’s the fear of vulnerability. The fear to be open and engaged and real. You feel the potential, the impulse, the call. You feel the desire to be more than you’re currently being—but you’re hiding from it. You’re repressing it. Because acknowledging it feels scary and challenging. It feel like too much of a leap.

Who are you to have such ambition? Who are you to reach so high?

You think you’re not worthy. That you’re playing out of your league. You’re afraid of criticism or rejection. Afraid to be thought naive. Afraid you’ll look foolish when you inevitably fail.

The fear keeps you from fully inhabiting your truth. From living it, and from expressing it.

• You wont tell your lover that you’ve outgrown him.
• You wont tell your parents that they’ll just have to accept you the way you are.
• You wont tell your peers that you’re throwing it all away in the name of freedom.
• You wont write your book, or travel the world, or stand on that stage and rock the arena.

You put a bottle on your truth: the source of both your power and your vulnerability. Power because the emotion fuels your determination. Vulnerability because you’re forced to confront yourself: naked, essential and alive.

No masks. No pretense. No posturing.

Only you.

Truth is where the passion lives. Truth is your desire, your fear and your grief. The truth will challenge you before it sets you free.

The truth is you have goals and dreams that you’re afraid of sharing because you don’t believe you deserve them. You have goals and dreams that wither on your lips because you lack the conviction to declare them.

The truth is you’re offering only a fraction of what you’re capable. Only a fraction of what you have. You’re not stretching yourself. You’re not feeling your emotions deeply. You’re not being real.

• Do you really believe that you can quit your job and live the Internet lifestyle?
• Do you really believe that you can do what you love?
• Do you really believe that you can find your power, rock the stage or change the world?

Maybe you don’t.

Wanting something when you don’t believe you can have it is painful. So you resolve the dissonance by muting the desire. But that’s tantamount to denying yourself. Denying your truth. Denying your self-expression.

You shut down. You switch off. You hold back. You hold back who you really are and settle for a half-expressed shadow of yourself.

No one can hurt a shadow.

But eventually you get something worse than hurt. You get numb. You get stagnated. You start to forget what it’s like to have a purpose in your life. To be inspired. To be in love. You start to forget what it’s like to have something worth hurting for.

And you start to think that this is normal.

And it is.

But it’s not good enough for you.

Because you demand more from life. Because you demand that life demand more from you. It’s not about deathbed regrets. It’s not about success or failure. It’s not about beach side condos or four hour work weeks.

It’s about making it count for the sake of today. It’s about living as fully and as truthfully as you can. Being present in each moment. Knowing that you’re true to you. That you’re walking your path with trust and courage and authenticity; and that when you inhabit that truth fully and authentically that fear ceases to have any meaning because there’s nothing you need that is apart from you.

But you have to step up. You have to claim it.

Until you can own the idea how are you going to own the result? Until you can own the idea, how are you going to take the first step?

Own the desire. Be present with it. Not consumed by it, just present with it. Acknowledge its energy—the way it moves you. The way it wants to move you.

Now stop telling the story about why it can’t happen.

Doing anything remarkable, creating anything in your life begins not with an action…

Not even with a belief.

It begins with allowing yourself to want it.

So do that, okay?

Photo by neil365

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Availability is not guaranteed.

They see me rollin'

The Thai Transit Authority is the official body in Thailand vested with upholding the high standards of driver testing and certification that we’ve come to expect from Asian nations. Don’t be complacent. A foreign passport is no call for special treatment. You’ll be expected to demonstrate the same standards of motoring excellence that are typical here. The grace and precision displayed by everyday taxi drivers, bus drivers and common Bangkok motorists is the same vision of highly adept, skillful and orderly driving which is taken for granted in the Land of Smiles. Your testing instructors will expect no less from you.

But don’t worry if you’re a bit rusty. With a little preparation, a steely resolve, and a dash of chok-dee (good luck) you’ll be negotiating the fray in no time. This post will guide you through the challenges you’ll face as you prepare to acquire your Thai driver’s license as quickly as possible (read: not very quickly at all).

Note: if you already have a car / motorcycle license in your home country, just pick up an international driving permit before you leave and save yourself the rigmarole. For everybody else, onward!

The Three Trials of Verification

The actual technicalities of driving here are pretty straight forward and familiar. But you can’t just front up to the RTA with your passport and a bag of hope. On the contrary, there’s some pretty stringent documentation you need to produce before you’ll be eligible to go through the testing process. In particular you’ll need to gather the following artefacts from the corners of the empire in order to tender your application.

The quest of the visa

This quest is the most dangerous of the three, for it will take you to a far away land—typically Laos. The internet is slower. The Tuk Tuks are nosier and it’s impossible to understand how much anything actually costs. You pay in one currency, get change in another and the denominations go up to like 7 million. You’re not here to sight see. You need to head on over to the Thai Consulate and file the application for a non-immigrant visa. It comes in three flavors: business, education and other (family). That ordeal is outside the scope of this blog post. Just know that you’ll need the visa to nab the license.

The quest of the residency certificate

Once you’re safely back in the country as a bona-fide, non-immigrant, non-tourist, alien you’ll have to gather further evidence of your residency for the satisfaction of the RTA. To get the residency certificate you have to front up to immigration with your visa, passport photos, house registration papers and perhaps some kind of endorsement depending on your situation. After the usual rigmarole, you’ll be issued with a letter from immigration certifying that you meet the residency requirements. You take this letter to the nearest RTA office with your other papers to apply for your driver’s license. The letter is only good for 30 days, so post haste.

The quest of the medical certificate

This is straight forward and can be done at any local clinic. I’m not sure what the tests involve because my doctor didn’t bother to administer them. Guess that’s because I’m so robust and vital.

Thai Driving 101

Front up to your local RTA office with your portfolio of documentation and present for processing. Once your application is all in order you’ll have the opportunity to study some educational materials to prepare you for the challenges ahead.

There’s a kiosk thing at the RTA office which will teach you [some of] the road rules (they keep some secret for the real exam). You will also (if you’re lucky) be issued with a glossy booklet for learning the road signs and markings. That’s fortunate because most of the content in the kiosk is illegible. I had called in a few days earlier to see if I could get any take-away materials for learning the road rules. But apparently that’s not allowed. Fortunately, my MI6 training came in handy and I was able to nab these top secret training images using my top secret, miniature imaging device (a.k.a iPhone).

Here’s a few Thai road rules and procedures that you might not be aware of:

When a car and a commercial airliner meet at an intersection, who has right of way?

Give way to planes taxing of the expressway

Not sure about you, but where I come from, when a car has to give way to an airplane, one of you is doing it wrong.

How to signal your intent to turn in the even that your vehicle is completely unfit for the road

How to indicate in Thailand

The caption says:

Reduce Speed: A driver must stretch his right arm then move it up and down several times, usually it showed while the vehicle’s light signals is not available (sic).

I recommend rolling down your driver side window before attempting this maneuver.

How to overtake safely (showing polite consideration for your fellow motorists)

How to pass in Thailand

The instructions say:

1. Assure that overtaking is not prohibited and dangerous then warn the front vehicle by your horn.
2. Flick the front lights (height-low beams) (sic) to warn the front vehicle again.
3. Being sure that the oncoming traffic is open and check to be sure with the rearview mirror. When you go out into the right part of the road in order to overtake check that the traffic coming in the opposite direction is open clearly.

(Note: nowhere does it mention your mirrors or turn signal).

So if you’re driving in Thailand and encounter someone honking at you and flipping you off before leaving you in the dust. Don’t be offended. They’re just following the official passing procedure.

The Three Mortal Challenges of the RTA

Once all the paper work is in order, you’ll have to face three mortal challenges to prove your worthiness. They are:

• The Test of Foresight
• The Test of Wits
• The Test of Skill

The Test of Foresight

This test will stretch your physical constitution to the limit. You must have the eyes of an Eagle and the speed of a Cheetah. First—a dazzling array of colours will be set before you. A maiden with ivory cain will point amid this psychedelic kaleidoscope seemingly at random! Then, standing at a distance of not less than eight feet you must identify by name the indicated colour not once but thrice. You must name red, then green, then yellow; or yellow, then red, then green. Or some combination of the above. Let your intuition guide you. Do not name blue—it’s a trick! Good luck.

Next you must kneel at the feet of a second maiden and, placing your chin upon a steely alter, stare into the visor before you. Fix your eyes on the yellow stripe ahead—but do not be deceived! The colour you must name comes not from the front but from the side—by sneak attack! Let your vision become soft and broad like the vigilant gaze of an Arabian Oryx. Be on your guard—To the left! To the right! The colour will flash and you must name it red, yellow or green—be it as it may.

Now at last you will be seated, but do allow your wits to become dim for never before has your dexterity been more imperative. On the floor before you, you will find a mysterious panel adorned by two irregular pedals—one tall and slender, the other short and stout. A sentinel will direct you to depress the more slender of the two (the pedal that means ‘go’). Now, while keeping the pedal depressed, keep your attention trained keenly on the indicator at the opposite end of the room. After a random interval a panel will light green. But be warned! In this test—green means stop! Here’s where your lightning reflexes come into play. Immediately depress the opposite pedal. If the light turns red, you’re toast!

The Test of Wits

Here you’re issued with a magnetic card and shown into a room to sit the theoretical driving exam. You insert your card into one of the many computer terminals to begin the test. The exam is ostensibly (one presumes) designed to test a candidates knowledge of traffic rules, safe driving practices and other important motoring knowledge. However, on inspection one can only conclude the single highest priority of the Thai Traffic Authority is educating motorists on the inappropriateness of parking within 15 metres of a railway line. This is the single most represented concern in the sampling of questions that I was issued in 3 separate sittings of the test—I had to take the test twice since I was applying for both car and motorcycle licenses (apparently the traffic rules change depending on what you’re driving) and I also did a practice run before the real exam.

The exam brought to light two important revelations:

1. The Thai Traffic Authority and I have several differences of opinion as to how right of way should work intersections; and
2. That’s no barrier to my getting a license to drive in Thailand it’s ASEAN compadres.

The Test of Skill

So, after having conquered the three trials of verification, proven your flawless colour naming skills and bested the diabolical riddles of the theory test you’ve finally earned the right to don your trusty driving gloves and prove your worth as a fully capable member of the Thai motoring fraternity.

There’s just one more challenge you must face before you can join the ranks of respected motor vehicle operators across Thailand: the practical test.

You may well be feeling nervous at this point. After all there’s a lot at stake. This is the moment when your powers of observation, co-ordination and general command of a vehicle will be put under close scrutiny (sometimes as close as just six feet away).

The Good News is that you wont have to negotiate real traffic, observe traffic signals, perform hill starts, use your indicators or move the vehicle out of first gear. Those more advanced procedures are reserved for fully licensed drivers to work out on their own time. Also note that at no time will any instructor actually be seated in the vehicle with you while performing the tests (so be sure to keep your window wound down).

The most demanding part of the prac test for cars is a reverse parallel park. Be sure to get plenty of practice in before you show up, as you only get about 7 chances to get this right on the day.

The motorcycle practical is a little bit more demanding since you’ll have to ride in a straight line and also wiggle between some cones; just remember to show up sober and you should do just fine.

In summary, if you can operate a ride-own lawn mower, and order drive through at McDonnalds, there’s a reasonably good chance you’ll be eligible to drive in Thailand. Provided of course, that your papers are in order.

Photo by JanneM

Trust Yourself

We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents.

Self Reliance—sounds like some kind of course in wilderness survival where you skin your own rabbits and chop your own firewood. And if you’re reading this blog post somewhere on the prairie in 1841, perhaps that’s an appropriate interpretation (assuming they have rabbits on the prairie—I’m a little out of touch).

But in all likelihood that’s not where you are. You’re probably reading this from your home office, or corporate cubical, or iPhone. You’ve probably never killed a rabbit and think kindling is something you do curled up in bed with a hot beverage and a Tim Tam.

So much for romantic notions of a life of simple freedom. Does your involvement with modern civilization, with all this technological insulation mean you’re doomed to go through life as a servant? Do we bargain away our independence—our basic human freedoms—when we participate in society?

Well, no, actually. At least, it doesn’t have to be that way. The good news is, self reliance actually has nothing to do with either rabbits or firewood. It’s not the exclusive domain of recluse philosophers and the amish. It’s available to all (actually that’s exactly the point)—Yes dear reader, even you can become self reliant. And, you don’t even have to give up your iPhone.

(By the way if you are reading this on the prairie in 1841, please leave a comment about the rabbit situation).

See, it’s not about material self-sufficiency. It’s not about what’s going on in the world at all. It’s about what’s going on inside. It’s about your relationship with yourself. It’s about trusting your own judgement and intuition—your own genius; choosing consciously and deliberately and speaking your truth regardless of the popular opinion. It’s about not asking for permission and not deferring to the experts; because no one is an expert on how you should live your life.

But the majority of our experience conditions us against this. From childhood we’re trained to respect authority and do as we’re told. We learn to follow rules and structures that others have laid out. We learn that there are right and wrong answers, and that it’s someone else who decides what they are.

As children we are dependent, and in our dependance we learn compliance. And while we’re supposed to outgrow that dependancy as we enter adulthood, the reality is that at some level most people bring that handicap with them. They enter a world for which their schooling has prepared them not to create, not to invent, but to fit in. To follow. They don’t know themselves. And their relationship with the world is narrow and superficial.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

When I say “they”, what I really mean is, “us”. It’s we who are living in this bubble of preconditioned responses and unoriginal thinking. It’s we who are exercising but a fraction of our capacity to express ourselves in the world.

Yet we are the fortunate ones. The road of self actualization is still the lesser traveled, but it’s by far better worn than ever before. The examples are there. The knowledge is available for those who are seeking. The hard battles have already been fought. The danger is that we can now use the banner of non-conformity as yet another club for being one of the crowd. For hiding from our truly original impulses.

That voice is frightening to us.

It’s easy these days to talk about self reliance—to write essays on original thinking or blog posts about self expression.

It’s quite another thing to live an original life.

It’s easy to regurgitate the same old personal development cliches or pontificate on trite philosophical truisms that you read somewhere else.

It’s quite another to see outside the borders of your education.

It’s easy to carry the banner of non-conformity once the likes of Dyer or Emerson or Thoreau has given you permission.

It’s quite another to walk an entirely unbeaten path. To persevere when the only evidence that success is possible is your own inexplicable knowing.

It’s easy because it’s been done before.

I like to believe in my own self knowledge. But would I have discovered even this much without the wisdom and guidance of teachers like Wayne Dyer or Ralph Waldo Emerson? Could I have discovered my own self reliance, such as it is, on my own? Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t think I could have done it without the help.

But that’s okay.

That’s all part of the process. It’s all part of the natural evolution—the natural calling forth of potential. We’re always surrounded by opportunities to learn—to know ourselves better. They are staring us in the face at every moment. But we only hear what we’re ready to hear. When we’re ready for the message, then the teacher appears to help us receive it.

How to live an original life

A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages.

But how can you actually get there?

How can you learn to lead when all you’ve known is following? How can you find your truth when all the world is trying to tell you the “facts”?

The answer has to be, by turning inside. By connecting to the quiet wisdom within. The source of your strength, your genius, your purpose. All the guidance you will ever need is available there. But most of us need a push. So, here are the four essential tenets. Here’s what you need to know to find your self reliance:

1. You’re enough.

You’re intrinsically worthy and valuable. You don’t have to earn your worthiness. You don’t have to prove it to anybody. You don’t have to justify yourself in any way. You don’t need anyone’s validation or approval.

2. You’re naturally self actualizing.

The desire to be more is built right into you. It’s not a skill you have to learn. It’s not a badge you have to earn. The need for self expression is embedded deep within your being. It compels you forward. It compels you to discover yourself. To be expressed. To seek answers and to realize your potential. You couldn’t stop it if you tried (though we often do our darnedest). All you need to do is stop resisting your natural impulse to express.

3. Everything you need is available to you.

You have the answers within you. No one else can give them to you. Only you can know yourself. But know that you have within you everything you need to be a fully realized, consciously expressed being and to create what you want in your life. You have the intelligence. You have the creativity. You have the resourcefulness. You have the solutions—and even if you don’t have them yet you have the ability to find them. The opportunity that is available to every one of us is unprecedented in human history. You can create the life you want.

4. This is your life.

Right here. Right now. You’re writing your own story. There’s no predefined plot. There’s no genre. You’re not guaranteed any particular number of pages.

You can look around you and see how others are writing their own stories; you can decide which things you like and which you don’t. You can follow them along a little way to get your bearings.

But the story becomes your own when you truly decide to take responsibility for your life. Not because someone else told you that you should. But because you finally understand, it’s the only way to truly live. And you’ll know that you get it when the only path you’re on is the one that you’re beating yourself.

Rabbit stew, optional.

Photo by santimolina

#Trust30

The quotes in this article come from the essay Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson. In celebration of Emerson’s 208th birthday, The Domino Project is republishing this great, inspired work.

#Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. Accept the challenge to trust yourself.

Life at 15,000 Feet

I was the person guiltiest of selling myself short and I had myself boxed in to be a certain way before this whole project began. I was surprised to find out that I’ve got endurance, balls of steel and that I quite like getting dirty!
Celine Novenario

So, here’s the deal: If you’re living your best possible life you’re going to be challenging yourself on a pretty regular basis. And if you’re challenging yourself at any significant level you’re going to run into quite a few things that quite frankly will freak you out just a bit.

One of the things that’s pretty high on my freak-out list is hurling myself off a three foot wide platform at the top of the 233 meters-tall Macau Tower. It’s how I’ll be marking the commencement of my epic tour of Asia by motorcycle.

One of the best ways of mastering a freak-out experience? Talk to somebody who’s already done it.

Enter Celine Novenario of the 30 Before 30 Project: globetrotting, fear crushing party animal extraordinaire.

Not only has Celine braved the worlds highest bungee jump, she’s also skydived from 15,000 feet, bathed in the basin of an active volcano, taken burlesque and pole-dancing classes, swam with wale sharks, run a marathon, explored mayan ruins and generally crammed as many thrills, chills and as spills into her life as possible. And all before turning 30.

Let’s find out what makes her tick.

What was your main inspiration for the 30 before 30 project?
How long have you been at it?

A tarot card reader once told me that I will be able to do everything that I want to do because I am a planner, and clearly she got that right! I’ve always loved making lists. When I was 18, I remember writing down a list of 25 things I dreamt of accomplishing before the age of 25. It wasn’t a bucket list so much as a wish list, but something about putting it down on paper seemed to put the wheels into motion.

Things that seemed so far-fetched to me then, like being able to live in another country and traveling all over Europe, actually did happen before I turned 25. I’ve lost that journal so I can’t really recall what else was on that list. But one day, while I was waiting for a yoga class to start and having a mini quarterlife crisis in my head, I remembered that list and it all snowballed from there. That was in February 2010 and I’ve been on this mission ever since.

Was there any particular method, criteria or value that you used to choose your adventures?

On hindsight, I wish there had been but nope, this is definitely a project born more out of madness than method! I just made a list of all the trips and experiences I’ve been putting off, classes I’ve been meaning to take and challenges I’d been saving for “someday.” I calendared everything out to make sure I actually had time to do everything, but other than that there wasn’t a huge thought process behind it.

Several of your challenges involve partying, exotic dance and removing articles of clothing. Have you always been so outgoing and adventurous or was this a deliberate attempt to break away from shyness?

I’ve never been shy! I was born a ham and was a ballet dancer and cheerleader for most of my teens so there was no shyness to break away from. I did however grow up at a time and society that was quite conservative. The poledancing and burlesque is more of an effort to embrace my being a woman, which tended to get a little stifled in very polite circles.

Over the past few years, women have become more free to speak and embrace their sensual sides and I’m just partaking of that new freedom. Partying, meanwhile, figures in my list because I feel that I should get my fill while I’m still young and carefree. I do hope to grow up, settle down and have a family someday so I realize the party has to end at some point! I wanted to get the no-holds-barred partying out of the way so there are no what-ifs in the future.

Shopping

You said that your style is one of feigned innocence. Just how much feigning is required?

Haha not much feigning really. People take one look at me and just get that vibe! It’s up to me to prove them wrong, if I want to.

What lights your fire? And what is the secret to a life well lived?

Experiencing something new—whether it’s exploring a new city or just trying an amazing new restaurant—makes me so very happy!

The secret to a life well lived, I feel, is minimizing regret.

Which of your exploits has been:

The most fun?

Surfing. It was such an adventure to travel to a surf camp in Portugal solo. I lucked out by ending up in an amazing surf camp, making really cool friends, and finding out that I love being on that board, soaking up the sun and riding the waves. Can’t wait to have another go!

The most challenging?

Snowboarding. It takes a lot of skill and my usual technique of just going for it resulted in a lot of hard tumbles down the slopes + a cracked rib! It haunts me that I didn’t master this and look forward to actively pursuing it next winter.

The most skillfully demanding?

Aerial silks. There are so many steps to remember and a lot of upper body strength required. Also, you really have to have all your wits about you when you’re hanging up the air unharnessed and your life depends on how well you’ve tied yourself into a few pieces of silk!

The most scary?

The first few seconds of freefall from my bungee jump were the scariest of my life! When I skydived, I did a tandem jump, and there was something reassuring about having another person who knew exactly what he was doing attached to me. When you bungeejump, it’s all you—standing on the edge, jumping off the edge and plummeting down. Takes balls of steel!

The most rewarding?

Swimming with whale sharks. It still blows my mind that I was in the water, swimming alongside these beautiful gentle giants that are the size of a bus! It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

The most transformative?

Running and finishing the New York Marathon. When I added this to my list, I thought I would have to walk 25 of those 26.2 miles since I hadn’t run a single mile before getting accepted. In the process of training for the marathon, I became a runner. I fished two 10k races and three half marathons, and I was actually able to run 26.2 miles to complete the New York marathon. The goal’s been crossed off but I continue to run to this day and it’s given me the confidence to take on more challenges. You learn not to sell yourself short when you find out just how much you’re actually capable of.

Celine at the New York Marathon

Bungee jumping the Macau Tower is an awesome achievement. What was it like up on that ledge, the moment before you took the jump? How did you prepare yourself? What did you do to overcome the fear and push yourself over the edge? Please be as detailed as you like

I had imagined it so many times in my mind before the moment actually came. I thought it would be completely petrifying to stand there on the edge of the tower, look down at the ground 233-meters away and actually leap off the edge. The thought made me wanna crawl back to Mommy.

But when the moment actually came, I kept my mind blank. I chose to focus on the beautiful scenery surrounding me: the aquamarine Pearl River to my right, the opulent casinos across. I never looked down. When the time came, I just stretched my arms out, focused on the countdown and let go. The first few seconds of freefall were bloody scary and I screamed my head off like I never have before. But after a few more seconds, I snapped out of it and just enjoyed the incredible rush of sailing down at such a fantastic speed. Just describing it makes me feel all giddy inside. I have a feeling I’m gonna want to have another go!

The Macau Tower Bungee

What is your relationship with fear?

Fear is my buddy. You know how you have friends who just love to push your buttons but you love them for it? That’s how I treat fear. What I’ve found it that the more I push at fear, the less I find there is to actually be fearful of. It’s such a liberating revelation.

One item on your list seems to stand apart from the others both in character and in the way you have treated it on your blog. Where does the desire to forgive come from? What makes it so hard?

I hope you don’t mind if I don’t answer this in too much detail as I’ve been tossing the topic in my head around for the last year and am still working on it. I have never been one to hold grudges and really have never had enemies. But I went through a very painful experience a few years ago and it changed me quite a bit. The desire to forgive came from wanting to go back to the person that I was, who was infinitely optimistic and devoid of ill feelings. But as the project comes to a close, this item is causing a lot of internal debate. We’ll see what happens!

Who are your heros? What are the qualities you see in them that you want to emulate?

There are a lot of people that I admire: Paula Radcliffe as a tenacious runner, Bono for his humanitarian work & general awesomeness, my mother for being my ultimate role model, etc. But I don’t know that I have actual heroes because people will always fall short in some way so it’s best not to put them on pedestals.

What have you discovered about yourself by challenging yourself in this way?

I discovered that there’s so much more to me than I previously thought. I was the person guiltiest of selling myself short and I had myself boxed in to be a certain way before this whole project began. I was surprised to find out that I’ve got endurance, balls of steel and that I quite like getting dirty!

Learning The Art of Arial Silks

How has this changed you as a person?

Oh wow, I can’t even count the ways! The most significant: I’m not the person who talks about doing things. I’m the person who just goes and does them.

Your deepest regret?

I can’t say that I have one. Good things came out of even the most painful events of my life, and I wouldn’t be the person I am if I hadn’t gone through it all so no regrets.

One book that has changed your life?

It’s so cliche but The Alchemist really changed my life. The pursuit of one’s personal legend and the belief that when you want something, the universe conspires for you to get it—that stuff’s golden!

What’s the single most important thing you must do before you die?

Become a mother.

You’re quite the globetrotter. Any choice tips on life or travel hacking?

I used to put off doing things because I didn’t know who’d want to do all these things with me. From my experience with this little project, I learned that if you just book that ticket, they will come. And even if they don’t, traveling by yourself can be a pretty cool adventure in itself.

If you found the love of your life, would you stay with him / her if it meant never being able to travel again?

The number one thing I look for is someone who’s well-traveled because it is something I am so passionate about. So I can’t even imagine how the love of my life would somehow come with that restriction … As much as I can’t imagine it, never say never right? Maybe there are pleasures to having firm roots that I have yet to discover.

What do you want to tell the person who’s reading this interview from their corporate cubicle?

I am a corporate cubicle-dweller myself and it really isn’t a life sentence. If your job gives you the means to live life the way you want to, then it’s not something to be hated. I used to think that I wanted a job that I was so passionate about that it would be my life. Now I know that I want a job that allows me to really live. I guess my message to the corporate cubicle dweller is: I know it’s cozy in there but there’s a bigger, better world outside that cubicle. Don’t live to work; work to be able to really live!

I'm Alive

A very exuberant Celine is celebrating her 30th birthday this Saturday. Let’s show her some love.

5000 miles to Mumbai

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When I wrote down the goal “ride a motorcycle across Asia”, I really had no idea what that meant. I had no conception of how far it would be, what it would involve or even why exactly I wanted to do it in the first place. I had my inspirations: a long-ago reading of Zen And The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, The Top Gear: Vietnam special, and a reference Tim Ferriss made to riding a bike across China like it was no big deal. A nice fantasy, but not much more.

The most appealing thing about it was that it was completely outside of my current intellectual schema. The kind of thing I would never have seriously contemplated if not for my policy of being deliberately ridiculous. Which is exactly what makes it such an excellent goal.

Another quality of excellent goals is that they are rooted in emotions and passions. Important because they not only fuel the goal, they give it meaning. In this case, it was all about freedom. I just loved the idea of exploring exotic, unknown landscapes with wind in my hair. No cares, no responsibilities, no deadlines. Just the bike and the open road.

But though I had declared it as something I intended to do, there was still an air of unreality about it. It wasn’t a right now goal, it was a someday goal. Something to work towards. Something that would seem more feasible at some nonspecific, future date after I had already worked it all out. Something I could do once I was already “free”. I wanted to play around with the safer goals first. Goals that seemed more accessible.

But something very interesting happens when you start to take deliberate steps in the direction of your calling: things that used to seem ridiculous and impossible, suddenly become a lot more realistic. And things that used to intimidate you begin to look like the next natural step. And when you begin to draw an outline around a big, nebulous, impossible thing, suddenly it’s no longer nebulous or impossible. With a little bit of imagination it might actually be doable.

All you need then, is a kick in the pants.

Enter Ric Elias, and possibly the most profoundly understated 5 minutes of TED I’ve ever witnessed: in this captivating talk about the day he though he was going to die; and the three things he learned about himself in the minutes before his plane dropped from the sky and dove into the Hudson River. Here’s one of them.

It all changes in an instant.
I no longer want to put off anything in life.

You have to think…

How many days have I wasted replaying yesterday’s faults or staying somewhere I don’t want to be because I’ve made it into my identity?

How many days have I wasted deferring life because it just didn’t seem like the right time to start living?

How many days have I wasted complaining about setbacks or hiding from insecurities instead of deciding who I want to become?

Too many.

One day you’re going to look back on your life and wish you’d taken more risks, had more adventures, expressed yourself more fully and loved more openly. One day you’ll look back and realize how what a gift it all is. One day you’re going to realize that every moment is an opportunity to be awed, be grateful and be inspired to ring every drop of life you can from your time here.

How ’bout today?

In Defense of My Recklessness

Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can…

So…

That’s my justification for the foolishness I’m about to embark upon.

This is like no other challenge I’ve done up to this point. It will involve a lot of some planning and preparation. Preparation I’m only just beginning to do.

Frankly I don’t really know what I’m getting myself into here. I don’t know how long this will take. I don’t have much of a concrete understanding of how far 5,000 miles really is (the furthest I’ve ridden a bike thus far is about 10 miles). I don’t know what kind of problems or challenges I’m likely to run into along the way.

All I really know is this is way outside my comfort zone and that accomplishing it is going to give me a new perspective on life and on what I’m capable of achieving.

I’m sure many a more seasoned adventurer would say I’m a complete nutter a little naive for jumping into something like this without more experience. Just today I was reading Johnny Vagabond’s white-knuckled biking experiences in Vietnam which give me more than a little pause for thought. But I’m doing it this way deliberately…

I’m not going to set-sail completely unprepared, but I wanted to announce this challenge before I get too deep into planning it all out, because otherwise you’d miss out on the journey. You’d miss out on the revelations and setbacks and seeing the process unfold. Where’s the excitement in that?

The risk is that this might turn out to be an epic failure. Then again, that’s really what makes it worth doing.

So, I take inspiration from these shining examples of spontaneous adventure:

• Torre was spontaneous when she decided to sail across the Pacific Ocean with a mysterious man she just met in a bar, despite having a mortal fear of water.
• Earl was spontaneous when he decided not to come back from his three month SE Asian holiday and instead to wander the planet for 12 years and counting.
• Colin spontaneously packs up his life and moves to a new (essentially random) country every four moths.

I figure if they can do that, I can ride a bike across a few little time zones.

The Challenge

The image above gives an indicative (read: subject to change at any moment because I haven’t done all the research) outline of the itinerary. I’ll copy it here again so you don’t have to scroll all the way up.

5000 miles to Mumbai

Roughly…

• Fly to Hong Kong (I’ll be using a plane for this bit)
• Bungee jump from the Macau Tower—highest bungee in the world (this is to make the rest of the trip appear less scary)
• Bus it from Hong Kong to Hanoi, Vietnam
• Buy a motorcycle in Hanoi
• Ride said motorcycle to Ho Chi Minh City
• Continue on to Phnom Penh, Cambodia and through to Bangkok
• At this point, things get a little bit less certain. Unfortunately, traversing Burma on a motorcycle is logistically impossible, forcing one to look for alternative routes between Thailand and India. Mostly likely case at this point is to ship the bike to Bangladesh or Nepal and continue on to India. Or simply sell it in Thailand and pick up a different bike in India.
• Continue to New Delhi
• See the Taj Mahal
• Ride to Mumbai
• Sell the bike
• Fly back to Bangkok
• Be home in time for Dinner

Total overland distance approximately 7,642 kilometers (4,748 miles)

The Obstacles

Remember when I said there was some preparation to do? Here’s what I mean:

• Never ridden a bike bigger than 125 cc
• No experience buying and selling motorcycles
• Tend not to do well when negotiating with Indians
• Don’t currently hold a motorcycle license
• Know sweet F/A about motorcycle maintenance
• Unfamiliar with various governmental regulations pertaining to the transit of vehicles across national borders
• Never done any kind of extended road trip
• Don’t speak any of the local languages (except Thai, poorly)
• Only have carrying capacity for the bare essentials
• No idea what to expect

There’s a high probability this plan might completely fall apart. But as I’ve no experience I don’t know what that probability is. I’ll also have to contend with the chaotic, Asian traffic and a litany of dangers, including (According to the Australian travel advisory):

• Bandits
• Land mines
• Terrorists
• Bombings
• Kidnapping
• Political unrest
• Mechanical breakdown
• Vietnamese mafia
• Torrential tropical downpours
• Delhi Belly; and
• Cannibals

(I may have made one of those up)

Participate

If you’re hanging out in South East Asia and want to hook-up, tweet-up, ride the road, or shelter me, please…

• Use the hashtag #mumbai5000 to discuss this challenge on Twitter
• Ask a question on the Art of Audacity Facebook Page (or here)
• Send me love letters

Spanks! And let’s get this show on the road.

What does your tweet cloud say about you?

You know something?

Life is amazing and people are awesome.

I think it’s too easy to forget those simple facts.

And since I had an especially awesome week, I thought I’d make an extra special effort to show appreciation for the folks who helped make it so worth getting up for.

I was listening to a fascinating interview with AJ Jacobs the other day (thanks to Matthew Kimberly for turning me on to The New Man podcast). If the name rings a bell, you might recall his article on Outsourcing Your Life which Tim Ferriss reprinted in The Four Hour Workweek). It’s a fascinating (and rather hilarious) experiment in outsourcing amped up to absurdity. And that’s only one of many extreme lifestyle experiments that AJ has performed in the same of science (or is that frivolity?)

In one especially bizarre experiment, AJ is spent an entire year living and obeying the rules of the Christian Bible to the letter.

You can get the summarized version in the below TED talk (it’s good).

Long story short, this is a rather impractical thing to do. But one positive thing that did come out of the experience (which AJ Explains in the New Man interview) is the daily practice of gratitude—taking the time to give thanks for things you might otherwise take for granted.

I figured I’d apply that concept to blogging. So starting today I’m challenging myself to be more conscious about:

1. what I’m doing each day to create an ever more exciting, fulfilling life
2. what already awesome right here and now

Let’s begin, shall we…

A Symposium of Awesome Tweeps

Tia Singh (@TiaSparkles)

Amazin’, blazin’, loud, proud font of positive, life-affirming energy. I love her courage, her openness and her proclivity for rocking my world. They don’t call her Sparkles for nuttin’. Check out The Power of Belief.

Mark Powers (@MarkPowers)

(“Danger” is his middle name)—just met this super talented, savvy and cool-as-Kryptonite dude this week. He’s blazing a trail for artists and musicians who want to make their lives and their work remarkable. If you’re struggling with what you can do to be more awesome this week, just quit trying already.

Lauren Rains (@LaurRains)

Madcap adventurer and seizer of days who just gave me the most grueling psychological evaluation of my career and taught me a thing or two about myself in the process (keep an eye out for it). Looking forward to watching her run rampant over the west coast during her upcoming U.S. Road Trip.

Annie (@beesplz)

This fabulously talented, quirky, multipotentialite and future trailblazer is launching her bodacious art blog this week. It’s full of verve and features some fantastic time-lapse composition videos—show her some love.

Bernardo Mendez (@yourgreatlifetv)

Human dynamo and all round terrific guy; Bernardo just shines with positive, uplifting energy. I so appreciate the way he goes out of his own to support and champion others. The real deal. He’s also got stellar video presence—if you don’t already know Your Great Life TV, it’s definitely one to check out.

Jonathan Mead (@jonathanmead)

Jonathan needs no introduction; actually he gave me one: he pretty much introduced me to the blogosphere and continues to connect me with great people and opportunities. So appreciate his continued support. Check out: How To Create Your Own Private Cartel.

What Will They Think of Next??

One more astonishing TED talk on a new experimental technology for constructing materials such as batteries, hydrogen fuels and solar cells using non-toxic viruses which are genetically engineered for purpose. They’re actually taking the organic self-replicating intelligence of the virus and using it to manipulate inorganic substances at the nanolevel.

It never cease to be amazed by the inventiveness of human beings or the intricate workings of nature. A scientific revolution is not just a technological advance; it’s a fundamental change in our world view. And when our world view changes at such a fundamental level, for all intents and purposes, the world itself is changed. Everything has new meaning and impossibilities dissolve.

What’s even more thrilling is that these revolutions are occurring ever more rapidly. We keep discovering ever deeper truths of nature. Things which seem fixed and concrete at one level suddenly become abstract and malleable at another. Are we just discovering what’s already here? or do we actually invent it as we go along? It seems that we’re trending towards an ever more adaptable, transformable universe.

A Big, Exciting Announcement

…is coming. Better subscribe now to avoid disappointment (look down, and to the right)

Tweet could image made with TweetStats and Wordle.

Booyah

On Friday I published a pretty personal post about my biggest failures in life. It was a response to Emilie Wapnick’s Failure Celebration Week initiative.

The idea is to celebrate failure rather than shaming it, or simply reframing it as ‘feedback’, which too often feels like a halfhearted attempt at consolation. It may help to ease the disappointment but doesn’t necessarily encourage us to get back on the horse and eagerly go charging at the next impossible challenge.

I didn’t realise until later that I really glossed over that point in the original post; and, judging by the responses—this came over as a bit of a sob story. Not sure if it inspired courage so much as condolences. Not what I intended at all.

The point—the one I didn’t make the first time—is that failure (or anything else really) is a function of your focus on life. When you cherry pick the worst possible aspect of everything, pile it all together, highlight the low points, and put it under a microscope it comes off seeming like a pretty dismal situation. And no wonder.

Yet don’t we all do that to ourselves sometimes? When you’re stuck in depressing thoughts it’s difficult to see anything but. When you label yourself as a failure—you feel like one. It doesn’t matter what successes you’ve had or how much you’ve grown. You’re not acknowledging those things. You’re just looking at the low points. And that’s a distorted view of reality.

For every valley, there’s a peak.

Allow me to demonstrate…

So—I’m curious. Did this change your perspective on my story? Did it change your perspective on your own story? Are there things you’ve failed at that maybe weren’t failures after all? Are there times you hid from failure but wished you hadn’t? Here’s your opportunity to come clean.

So here’s the challenge again: have you fucked up pursuit of your best life? Good for you. ‘Cause, if you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to fail big, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to win big.

And that’s just… sad, really.

Photo by leg0fenris