Every morning in America, a lot of men stand in front of their bathroom mirror, lather up with shaving cream, and scrape their face clean with a razor. Probably a multi-blade cartridge razor. If they’re old-school, a safety razor. If they’re old-old-school, a straight razor. After that, they brush their teeth. Then they run a comb through their hair (if they have any). When they travel, they pack all their grooming tools in a Dopp kit. This is the standard, normal grooming routine of the 21st century man.

But almost none of it was completely normal before 1945.

It took two world wars to standardize and popularize these practices among men.

Yes, your daily shave and teeth brushing routine was forged in battle.

Below, we take a look at how total war in the 20th century shaped how men take care of their personal hygiene.

Before World War I, Many Men Didn’t Shave Themselves

You think shaving today is a hassle? At the turn of the twentieth century, shaving at home was a much bigger one. The dominant tool was the straight razor. While many 21st-century dudes romanticize the pleasures of putting a cutthroat to their face (we’re guilty of this!), shaving with a straight razor is kind of a pain in the ass. Straight razors are difficult to shave with and require a lot of upkeep. You’ve got to sharpen and strop them on the regular. What’s more, if you wanted hot water to lather up, you had to heat it on the stove. Because it was a chore to shave, many men either wore beards or relied on regular visits to the barber, who scraped off their whiskers while they sat in his chair.

That started to change in 1904, when King Camp Gillette was awarded U.S. Patent No. 775,134 for the safety razor. This device shielded the skin from the blade’s edge while still allowing a close shave. Shaving got a whole lot easier. But Gillette’s real genius wasn’t the razor itself but the business model behind it. He sold the handle cheaply and made money on the replacement blades. It’s the same model your printer company uses to gouge you on ink cartridges, except Gillette thought of it first.

Initial sales were modest — just 51 razors and 168 blades in 1903. But by 1915, Gillette was selling 450,000 razors and 70 million blades a year. During WWI, the British and American governments required soldiers to be clean-shaven in order to ensure a proper seal on gas masks so they didn’t inhale poison gas in the trenches.

To that end, the government included safety razors in standard-issue kits during World War I, giving the product a massive trial run with millions of young men. When soldiers returned home, many kept up the daily DIY shaving habit. By 1926, American men were buying over two million blades a day.

The Dopp Kit and the Standardization of the American Male Grooming Routine

While WWI made shaving a more regular practice among American men, it took WWII to make it, and other hygiene habits, near universal.

By World War II, the U.S. Army had contracted with a leather goods maker named Charles Doppelt to manufacture toiletry bags for American servicemen. Known as ‘Dopp kits’ (Doppelt, Dopp kit — get it?), the bags were issued to millions of recruits during the war. Inside, soldiers carried the essentials of their new military grooming routine: a safety razor, shaving soap or brushless cream, a comb, toothpaste, a toothbrush, a mirror, and a bar of soap.

Gillette also shifted their production to meet the needs of the fighting men. The company switched to bakelite (an early plastic) and light alloy razors to conserve strategic metals like brass and aluminum, and ramped up production to fill those Dopp kits. Intelligence agencies even produced special shaving sets for POWs. What appeared to be a standard razor and brush hid compasses, counterfeit German currency, and silk maps of enemy territory that soldiers could use to escape.

The troops even found creative secondary uses for their shaving cream. War correspondent Ernie Pyle reported that frontline troops at Anzio used it to treat sunburn and soothe fleabites, and thought it prevented trench foot if you massaged it into your feet once a day.

Besides shaving, daily toothbrushing was also mandated by the military. Before the war, most Americans didn’t brush their teeth every day. But the military required it to maintain overall dental hygiene and to prevent “trench mouth,” a debilitating infection involving bleeding gums and fever that had plagued troops in World War I. Soldiers were issued nylon-bristled brushes from DuPont.

When millions of veterans came home in 1945 and 1946, they brought their military-issued grooming habits with them. They were accustomed to being clean-shaven and fresh of breath and having easy access to the products that kept them that way.

While grooming practices have changed since then, the basics are still the same for most men. And those basics were established thanks to two world wars. So the next time you’re standing at your bathroom sink looking at your ugly mug while you shave or pack your Dopp kit for your next vacation, take a moment to think about the fact that the rituals you’re taking part in were forged in the trenches.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Remember the old hotel ice machines? The kind where you’d slide your bucket under the chute and hear the avalanche of cubes crashing into it? There was something so fun and strangely gratifying about that thing.

Or think about breaking an icicle off the edge of a roof. Such a gratifying feeling from such a small act.

My guest has written an ode to the outsized pleasures that arise from these kinds of everyday interactions with the physical world. His name is Ian Bogost, and his new book is The Small Stuff. Today on the show, Ian argues that a fulfilling life isn’t built solely by chasing the big components of happiness but also by embracing the small moments of gratification that are woven throughout ordinary life. We discuss how those moments can be found in tactile experiences like shifting a manual transmission, turning a well-made knob, or flipping through the pages of a real menu. We explore how these small opportunities for engagement — for contact, connection, and control— have been disappearing as the world becomes more digitized and automated and everything becomes a touchscreen. And Ian shares how opportunities for “sensory enchantment” can still be found in our increasingly dematerialized world.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Ian’s previous appearance on the AoM Podcast: Episode #247 — The Pleasure of Limits, the Uses of Boredom, and the Antidote to Excessive Irony
• Ian’s Atlantic article “The End of Manual Transmission”
• Andy Rooney compilation

Connect With Ian Bogost

• The Small Stuff website
• Ian’s website
• Ian’s faculty page

Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)

Listen to the episode on a separate page.

Download this episode.

Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.

Transcript Coming Soon

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

The comedian Sinbad had a bit where he talks about how much he hates standing in line behind people at McDonald’s. The fact that folks would be hemming and hawing about what to order left Sinbad shaking his head in frustration: “People act like they ain’t ever been to McDonald’s! They got the same menu! You know what they got!”

You’d think that by the time someone reached the front of a line at a restaurant, especially one that’s offered pretty much the same menu for decades, they’d be ready to shoot off their order. But instead, folks still seem to be caught flat-footed once they step up to the cashier.

Restaurants are hardly the only places where you see this phenomenon.

When you’re renting a car, you’ll often stand for ten minutes in a line, along which have been posted multiple signs indicating that you’ll need to show the counter rep a driver’s license, a credit card, and your return flight confirmation number to complete your rental. Yet, it’s only when people reach the desk that they start rooting around in their pockets and scrolling through their phones to retrieve what’s needed. They sometimes act surprised that they need to show the required information at all.

This kind of obliviousness is on display whenever I go to my local post office. They do passport applications there, but you need an appointment. It’s on the website, and there are signs everywhere that say “Passport by Appointment Only.” Yet without fail, there will be people who show up without an appointment to try to get their passport, only to be told they’re out of luck. They then get angry, cause a scene, slow things down for everyone standing in line to buy stamps, and generally spread bad vibes.

Everywhere you go, you can observe a lack of what might be called “social situational awareness.” People are looking down at their phones instead of what’s going on around them. And because technology takes care of so many details of our lives for us, we’re less vigilant about keeping track of them ourselves.

As a result, a lot of people are sleepwalking through their interactions with the world, which can cause delays and bottlenecks that muck things up. While every unnecessary delay is small, multiplied across hundreds of interactions, it becomes friction everyone has to bear.

The world would be a better place if we all committed to paying attention and knowing what we were doing.

Read any signage displayed behind the counter or on the wall while you wait in line for something. Consider what information you’ll need to have at the ready and what items you’ll need to have in your hand before you reach the front. Anticipate what will be required for the next step.

Pay attention to the interactions between other customers and service reps or cashiers to see if any friction points are causing holdups. If you notice something, figure out how to avoid running into that issue yourself.

If there’s a question about a protocol that you weren’t able to find out through prior research or from the signs, promptly ask the agent/cashier about it once it’s your turn. For example, different airports have different policies these days about whether things like laptops have to come out of your bag when you go through TSA. Listen for whether the agents are making announcements about that kind of thing as you approach the checkpoint, but if you haven’t heard anything, then as soon as you step up to the X-ray machine, ask the agent what the protocol is.

Cultivating your social situational awareness is a win-win-win for everyone.

The cashier or customer service rep gets an efficient interaction. You get what you need quickly. And other customers, passengers, and queue-standers can be on their way sooner.

And the art of paying attention doesn’t just apply to standing in line for a double quarter pounder with cheese. It’s about having the situational awareness that allows you to navigate the wider world more effectively. In my experience, the people who are “sharp,” or listo as they say in Spanish, have developed the skill of paying attention and creating mental models on the fly of how to handle themselves in whatever situation comes their way. If they can’t figure it out on their own, they’re quick to ask for clarification. It’s an element of agency.

Don’t be a clueless potato head. Be a high-agency man.

Pay attention; be prepared; don’t make the world wait on you.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

In The Safety Trap by security expert Spencer Coursen, he describes a case where a wealthy client of his kept the key fobs for his luxury vehicles near the front door. A thief was able to quietly enter this man’s home, grab a fob, and drive off with a car. 

The owner was in his bedroom the whole time, oblivious to the fact that he was getting robbed right underneath his nose. 

This rich guy called Spencer for a consult on installing a sophisticated security system to avoid another brazen theft. 

“Was the front door locked?” Spencer initially inquired regarding the theft. 

“Well, no . . .” responded the client.

“Why not try locking your doors first before we spend a lot of money on a security system?” Spencer asked.

While this “Well duh!”-inducing story probably makes you think “I’d never be so dumb,” chances are, you are sometimes that dumb. Dimes to donuts, you do sometimes leave your doors unlocked, even when you’re sleeping.

That’s because you haven’t routinized the locking of your doors. You just do it willy-nilly, making yourself re-remember to do it each night. And sometimes your memory fails you.

Spencer says that a surprising number of burglaries occur because the homeowner left a door or window unlocked. It’s a small mistake, but it can be a costly one.

Burglars are criminals of opportunity. The easier it will be to burglarize your home without getting caught, the more likely they are to commit the crime. If you make burgling your house a bit more difficult, you reduce the likelihood of your house getting hit.

There are lots of ways to make your home a less desirable target for criminals, including these 8 low-tech methods.  

But according to Spencer, one of the easiest, most bang-for-your-buck things you can do to improve your home security is simply performing a set security check before you turn in for the night. He calls this the “9 p.m. routine,” though you can do it at whatever time works for you. The important thing is to simply be consistent. 

It only takes five minutes and requires doing the following things: 

• Make sure all home doors are shut and locked.
• Make sure all home windows are shut and locked.
• Draw the blinds.
• Ensure outside lights are on (to make this easier, install a solar timetable light switch).
• If you park a car outside, double-check that the vehicle is locked and valuables are removed. (I’m always surprised by the number of people on my Nextdoor feed complaining that a gun was stolen from the glove compartment of their car. When asked if the car was locked, the answer is often no.)
• If you have a home security system, enable it.

Many of you are already doing your version of the 9 p.m. routine. Consider this some friendly encouragement to keep it up.

But as Spencer noted, many people don’t do something as basic as locking their doors and shutting their windows. If this is you, take this as your nudge to start your own nightly security check.

Your home is your sanctuary. Develop this simple habit that can keep it that way. 

For more tips on personal security, listen to our podcast with Spencer Coursen:

With our archives now 4,000+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in August 2022. 

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Left of Bang: How the Marine Corps’ Combat Hunter Program Can Save Your Life. I had Patrick Van Horne on the podcast way back in 2014 to discuss this book, which he co-authored with Jason Riley. Left of Bang lays out the Marine Corps’ Combat Hunter program, which was developed during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan to train Marines in staying “left of bang” — able to detect threats before they happen rather than responding after the attack. Full of accessible and potentially life-saving mental models, the book is really interesting and did a lot to shape my thinking and help me develop the skill of situational awareness. If you haven’t read it, pick up a copy.

Manhattan’s Fastest Bike Messenger. I love watching old videos about jobs that no longer exist or are on the decline. My latest find is this 1985 CBS Evening News segment in which Charles Kuralt profiles David Leopold, the best bike messenger in New York City. Back before email and e-filing, thousands of messengers tore through Manhattan traffic hand-delivering contracts, blueprints, and film reels, and at age 24, Leopold was the king of them all. Kuralt sets out to discover why he’s so good at what he does. Bike messengers still roam the streets of NYC today, but their numbers are significantly smaller than during their heyday decades back.

More Men Are Addicted to the ‘Crack Cocaine’ of the Stock Market. One thing I have a growing concern about when it comes to young men is the rise of online sports gambling. I did a really interesting episode of the podcast about it with Michael Lewis, who did a deep dive into the sports betting industry. Related to that trend is the increasing popularity of day trading via apps. This Wall Street Journal piece looks at the phenomenon of day trading addicts and the financial ruin it’s causing them. Guys are making risky option bets that can completely drain their savings in a day. One man profiled in the piece hid his trading from his Gamblers Anonymous group for years and ended up losing around $1 million from his portfolio’s peak. I’ve been having conversations with my 15-year-old son about staying away from this stuff and just sticking to boring index funds. 

Vintage Belt Buckles. I have a thick leather belt that lets you swap out the buckle. I wanted something with a little pizazz and stumbled upon this eBay shop that specializes in selling vintage belt buckles. They’ve got thousands of them in every category imaginable: railroad, rodeo, occupational, 70s hippie brass. I picked up a handsome brass buckle featuring the state seal of Oklahoma. It means business. Pairs real nice with bootcut jeans and cowboy boots. 

On our Dying Breed newsletter, we published Sunday Firesides: The Hills Will Find You Out and Should You Stay or Should You Go? How to Escape the Sunk Cost Trap.

DB’s Lonesome Dove Book Club also just came to a close. It was a huge success! We had over 800 people join us on the trail with the Hat Creek Cattle Company, and the engagement from members was plentiful and top-notch. I got so many new insights about the book from them, making this read of my favorite novel the most enjoyable one yet (besides the first time; you can never beat the first time). We’ll definitely do another book club in the future. Stay tuned.

Quote of the Week

Lost, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.

—Horace Mann

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

My wife Jane and I are celebrating our 15th anniversary this month. Hooray for us! It really feels like I’ve hit the jackpot, because my wife and I enjoy each other’s company more and more with every passing year. I don’t think there’s some big secret that has kept us blissfully happy this long — I tend to think that we genuinely just really like each other. 

A funny thing happens though after you’ve been married for 10 (or 15) years and you still seem happy: you’ll start to get folks asking for relationship tips or advice every once in a while. Honestly, I usually feel wholly unqualified to answer; people seem to want advice for the hard parts, but our marriage has not had many trials, and we don’t fight very often. 

I’ve often wondered why I don’t find marriage difficult, when the messaging around long-term relationships often says otherwise. Is there something we’re actually doing differently? Are our easy-going personalities suited to a higher baseline level of contentment? Are we just too passive and Midwestern to bring up problems and somehow it works for us? (There’s probably some truth to all of those!) 

A few years ago, however, I was forced to think through these questions a bit more when I was asked to officiate a dear friend’s wedding ceremony. Beyond just guiding the couple through exchanging vows, I wanted to give some solid advice! After thinking about it for a while, I realized there was indeed a specific framework that has helped my wife and I avoid the fights that seem more common among folks we know and even amongst couples in pop culture depictions of marriage. I don’t remember if we came by this idea naturally or encountered it somewhere else, but it’s really worked for us and might help you as well. 

Fight the Problem, Not Each Other 

It’s all too easy for any argument in a marriage — whether about work, kids, family, money, personality differences, whatever — to turn into a battle of you versus them. In this typical fight, there is a winner and loser, though it’s usually the case that you both lose to some degree and the original problem may or may not be resolved. 

Our culture and even our biology have wired us to approach conflict as an adversarial contest. When we encounter threats, even small ones, we interpret them as being a danger to our happiness and way of life. We get defensive, put on our armor, and prepare for battle. 

In this scenario, you and your partner are like two knights, fighting over a prized jewel. Only one of you can get it, so you duke it out until someone decisively wins or one of you simply becomes too tired to keep going. For some couples, this won’t look like actual fighting, but will be a war of silent looks and disdainful thoughts — which can be just as dangerous. 

I want to propose a different paradigm. 

Rather than framing your argument or issue as you versus them, think about it as you and your partner versus the problem. 

The baby is crying in the middle of the night and you’re mad at each other because you can’t agree on who should get up, which leads to an argument about who’s doing more diaper changes, what your overall sleep strategy should be, etc. Naturally, your exhaustion exacerbates the problem. Instead, what if you thought of it as you and your partner versus the fussy baby? It’s a funny image, I know, but it truly worked for us when our children were tiny — the silliness of the idea can work in your favor. How can you work together to solve this problem — to (metaphorically!) slay this baby dragon that’s standing in the way of the prized jewel of good sleep and happy parents? 

It works even when the problem doesn’t have a face. If your budget just isn’t coming together and the bank account seems a little low, it can easily turn couples against each other. Why are you spending so much? Why aren’t you working harder to get a promotion? Instead, think of it as you and your spouse versus that stupid bank account. How can you team up to save more money? How can one of you support the other for a season of putting in more hours on the job? 

Of course there are some issues that this framework can’t resolve. You and your spouse versus an affair won’t work the same. But for the recurring arguments that aren’t on an existential level, it can go a long way. 

You and your partner can create an almost playful mindset along the lines of, “The world is conspiring against us and trying to tear us apart; we have to figure out how to beat back the darkness, together.”

Stop thinking of problem areas in your relationship as you against your spouse, and start thinking: It’s us against the world.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

People are told their whole lives how important it is to find their purpose. But many find the search frustrating. They feel there’s one true calling or one grand goal they’re supposed to be pursuing, but they can’t seem to discern what it is.

My guest, Jordan Grumet, author of The Purpose Code, says that searching for what he calls your big P purpose can be fruitless and even harmful, and that a better path is to embrace a life of little p purposes. Today on the show, Jordan explains the difference between big P and little p purposes and argues that the former can lead to anxiety while embracing the latter can be the path to meaning, satisfaction, connection, and even the legacy you were looking for in the first place. We discuss how Jordan found his way to this philosophy after burning out as a doctor, practical ways to discover your own little p purposes, what he thinks we get wrong in making family our purpose, and what his work in hospice has taught him about living a life without regret.

Connect With Jordan Grumet

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

I’ve been lifting weights consistently for over 15 years now, and in that time I’ve learned that no matter how dialed-in my training is, every now and then I hit a stretch where the wheels fall off. I get busy with work and family stuff, sleep goes to pot, or maybe a kid gets sick. Or sometimes nothing is going on in my life, but when I go down to my garage gym and do my warm-up sets, I can tell it’s not going to be a good workout. Weight that should feel light feels like it’s bolted to the floor. I don’t have any pop.

As a younger lifter, I’d try to push through these times of feeling beat up and tired. It never went well. I’d miss lifts, feel even more beat up and tired, and just end up feeling frustrated and down.

What I do now when I hit one of those stretches is take a deload: a week where I still show up and train but where I dial the work down so my body and mind can recover.

The deload is a useful tool to have in your lifter’s toolbox, but a lot of guys don’t use it correctly. Some never take one and end up injured or burned out. Others take them too often and never make any progress. So today we’ll cover when and how frequently to take a deload, as well as what a deload does, how to structure it, and how to get back to your regular programming afterward.

What a Deload Does

Every workout produces two things at once.

First, fitness. These are the lasting adaptations you’re after, like bigger, stronger muscles and a nervous system that’s better at getting the most out of them.

Second, fatigue. This is a temporary hit to performance from beat-up tissue and a taxed neuromuscular system.

What you can actually lift on a given day is your fitness minus your fatigue.

When you train hard for weeks on end, fatigue builds up faster than it dissipates. Eventually the fatigue starts masking your fitness. You’ve gotten stronger over those weeks, but you can’t tell, because you’re lifting with a bunch of accumulated fatigue.

A deload gives your body and mind time to drain off some of that built-up fatigue so your fitness can shine through once again.

You’ve probably experienced the benefits of a deload without intentionally taking a deload. Maybe you trained consistently for months and reached a point where you felt like you weren’t making any progress adding weight to the bar. But then your family took a week-long vacation where you couldn’t train. All you did was eat, play, and relax with your kids. When you came home and got back to training, it felt like the barbell was just flying off the ground.

Your vacation gave your body time to get rid of some of its built-up fatigue, allowing you to express the accumulated fitness that was already there from your training.

When to Take a Deload

There’s a lot of competing philosophies out there about deloading:

Never deload. Some people think that with proper programming, you never need to take a deload. That’s probably true in theory, and maybe some guys are able to do that, but in my experience, deloads usually become necessary during the course of training, no matter how well the program is structured.

Schedule deloads. Some programs build deloads right into the training schedule. They often prescribe a light week every 4 to 8 weeks whether you feel like you need it or not. If you like structure like that, this is a fine way to do deloads.

Deload when you feel like you need it. The way I approach deloads is to take them when I feel like I need them. When I feel the need arise, I just tell my longtime coach, Matt Reynolds of Barbell Logic, to schedule a deload week for me.

This isn’t something I do willy-nilly, based on my mood in a given week. Instead, I look for these specific signs:

My performance drops, and stays low. One bad workout doesn’t mean you need a deload. You’ll have off days for random reasons. Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before, or maybe you had a stressful day of work. Sometimes you can feel flat for no particular reason; maybe it’s something in the atmosphere or the stars. If you have a single bad workout, shrug it off and try again next time.

But if you have a few bad workouts in a row where you have to drop the weight to get your reps, or you’re missing reps on multiple sets, it probably means it’s time for a deload. You’ve got too much built-up fatigue.

Everything aches. If I’m just feeling persistently beat up and achy in my joints and tendons, despite adequate recovery time between sessions, I take that as a sign that I could use a deload.

I dread training. Training is the part of my day that I most look forward to. So when I have a week of training where before every workout I think, “Ugh, I don’t want to train,” I pay attention. Loss of motivation has been a reliable sign that I’ve got too much fatigue built up and need a deload.

Life is kicking my butt. If I’m not feeling well or I just have a lot going on with work and family, I’ll sometimes take a deload. All of that stuff that happens outside of the gym contributes to your overall fatigue level, so trying to add intense workouts on top of that is just going to exacerbate your overall fatigue. Taking a deload when life is kicking my butt allows me to keep up the habit of training without taxing myself even more.

How to Take a Deload

Okay, you’ve decided a deload is in order. So how do you do it? Like a lot of things with fitness, there’s more than one avenue to take, and the one you choose depends a lot on your goals.

If you’re training for strength: back the weight off a little and cut the volume a lot. The standard prescription Reynolds uses with me on a deload is to reduce the weight on the bar by about 10% and cut the number of work sets roughly in half. So I’m keeping the intensity (weight) relatively high, but backing off on volume (number of sets).

So instead of doing 5 sets of 5 on bench at 265 lbs, I might do 1 set of 5 at 240 lbs and then just one more set for as many reps as possible.

You’re not dramatically backing off the weight because you’ve still got to keep your neuromuscular system primed even during your deload.

And according to Reynolds, despite the lightening up, a properly calibrated deload will still feel heavy, which surprises a lot of people. You look at the programmed weight that’s 10% less than you were doing last time and think, “This will be easy.” Then you get under the bar, and it feels just as heavy or even heavier than the weight you were lifting before your deload. Reynolds tells me he actually likes hearing a client say, “How is this still so heavy?” during a deload. You’ve built up fatigue, and it doesn’t instantly vanish the moment you reduce the weight. Don’t get discouraged mid-week of a deload and conclude it isn’t working. It is.

Also, a heads up: your deloads will get harder as you get stronger. Your reward for pulling bigger deadlifts is that even your light weeks involve weights that would’ve been max-effort lifts a few years back. I’ve called Reynolds to grumble about “deload” deadlift sets programmed in the mid-400s. Even though 450 pounds is lighter than my usual 500 I might do for a set of five, 450 pounds still feels really dang heavy.

If you’re training for size: cut the volume and back off the effort. Bodybuilding-style training generates a ton of localized muscle damage, and staying acclimated to maximal weights matters less. So cut your sets by a third to a half — if you normally do 4 sets per exercise, do 2 — and stop each set well shy of failure, leaving 3 or 4 reps in the tank instead of 1 or 2.

You usually don’t need to reduce the weight.

Or take the whole week off. Another way to deload is to just take a break from training completely for a week. I do that every now and then. I used to try to keep training while on vacation, but now I don’t and just use it as a chance to deload. If I have a particularly busy week of life, I’ll skip my usual lifting sessions and just try to get in a 30-minute walk.

If you’re worried that a week away from the iron will erase your gains, you can relax. Research on trained lifters shows you don’t lose meaningful muscle or strength even after two to three weeks of complete rest. One week of not training will hardly have any effect on you.

Whichever way you go, one week is the standard deload dose.

Getting Back to Your Regular Programming

When you come off a deload, the temptation is to storm back into the gym and test your newly un-buried strength on day one. Don’t. You’ll dig the fatigue hole right back out. Your first week back, run weights you were handling two or three weeks before the deload, then ramp up from there. Within a couple of weeks you should be at or near your best numbers again — and often past them.

One thing to prepare yourself for: your first workout back from a deload may feel a little stale. You might feel like you got no pop. After a week without heavy weight in your hands, the bar can feel a little foreign, and guys sometimes finish their first session thinking the deload was a bust. Give it one more workout. Reynolds says he can’t tell whether a deload worked until a client’s second session back, and my experience matches his. First workout, you feel flat. Second workout, the bar starts moving fast again.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Steve Kamb.

We all know “That Guy,” and we all have at least one in our group of friends.

He’s the one scalawag who is generally pleasant to hang out with except for one glaringly painful characteristic. Although there are different species of That Guy, some far more deplorable than others, they all have one thing in common: they often piss their friends off without knowing it.

Today, you’ll learn about the various forms of That Guy, how to react should you find one in your midst, and how to evolve in case you are That Guy.

The Poor Sport (Crybabial Sporticus)

Characteristics: The Poor Sport is dreadful to play against in any sporting event or competition. He complains incessantly about bad foul calls in pickup basketball, a weekend golf match among friends causes a temporary loss of arithmetic skills, and he will never accept blame for a loss, no matter the occasion. The cards are unlucky in a bad poker loss, the controller is faulty in a video game defeat, and the racquet is the reason for a poor tennis performance. In his own mind, he can do no wrong.

How to deal with That Guy: To start, don’t let him get away with cheating. If you know he counted incorrectly in golf, kindly remind him about the six shots it took him to get out of the bunker. If you defeat him in any competition, brace yourself for a torrent of expletives and excuses, but don’t fan the flames. Although you might want to defend your stellar performance or yell at him for being a crybaby, everybody around you already knows the truth: your friend is a sore loser.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Go ask a few people about their worst “bad beat” in poker. Exhausted of the complaining yet? This is what you sound like to your friends ALL THE TIME. First of all, stop cheating in golf — your life won’t change if you post a 79 or a 119, and your friends ARE keeping track of your score whether they admit it or not. Show a little sportsmanship and integrity. If you lose to your friends at Halo, pickup basketball, tennis, scrabble, bocce, cards, whatever — take it like a man, and accept defeat. Everybody loses at some point, and nobody wants to hear excuses. Get over it.

The Mooch (Dudicus Moochalum)

Characteristics: The Mooch never has any money, brings any food, or provides any shelter; he instead leeches off of those around him. Think Cosmo Kramer in real life. The cause is most likely an allergic reaction to ambition. The last beer in the case, the final ice cream bar in the freezer, and any leftovers in the fridge tend to disappear whenever he’s around. A Mooch’s wallet gets “accidentally” left at home quite frequently, and he is always a pain to track down for repayment of money borrowed.

How to deal with That Guy: The Mooch usually understands his unfortunate situation, but he’s often too lazy to do anything about it. If you’re feeling magnanimous, help him find a job; just be careful who you recommend him to because it’s your reputation that’s at stake. Now, until he finds employment, do what you can to keep him in line: keep track of how much money you’ve loaned him and consider charging 10% interest each week until the debt is repaid. Don’t be afraid to call him out when he eats the last Oreo either, because that’s just not cool.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Stop being lazy and get a job (and if you have a good job, quit mooching; the only thing worse than a poor mooch is a well-off cheapskate). Secondly, NEVER take the last one of something that isn’t yours unless you plan on replacing it. Try chipping in every once and awhile, too — show up unexpectedly with a case of beer or volunteer to buy the first round of drinks. I don’t care if you have to rob somebody first, always repay your financial debts to friends within 24 hours, no exceptions. Now, if you already have a job, and you’re still poor, find another way to contribute: are you a good cook? Do you have connections at a restaurant or movie theater? Do what you can to make up for your lack of funding — your friends will appreciate it.

Mr. Unreliable (Amigus Bail’Outicum)

I told the flake to pick me up at 7. Damnit!

Characteristics: It’s never known if Mr. Unreliable is actually going to show up, no matter how many promises have been made. He often signs up for an engagement before backing out at the last minute. “On time” to him usually means at least an hour late. Getting Mr. Unreliable to commit to something that requires an upfront financial deposit is like pulling teeth. Rather than saying no to an obligation, he’ll give a noncommittal answer that allows him to bail out at the last minute with a lame excuse via text message, thus avoiding confrontation.

How to deal with That Guy: Always expect Mr. Unreliable to not show up, and then be pleasantly surprised if he does! If you’re planning a trip with him, make sure to get some sort of financial commitment before putting up your own money — when he tries to back out this time, allow him to only do so if he can find a replacement. At that point, it’s no longer your responsibility. Not surprisingly, you should rely upon Mr. Unreliable as little as possible.

How to evolve if you are That Guy: Your friends don’t think you’ll show up to anything anymore, and eventually they’ll just stop calling. Change that perception by actually showing up to stuff consistently! What a novel idea, I know. Now, if you get invited to an event you don’t want to attend, be up front with your friends and tell them not to expect you. Lastly, start showing up on time. Arriving late consistently tells your friends that your time is more valuable than theirs. Show up at the right place at the right time.

The One-Upper (Betterum Than’Youicus)

Characteristics: Reeking of superiority and elitism, the One-Upper is a constant name-dropper of famous people and locations. During story time, the One-Upper must always ensure that he appears the strongest, best, had the toughest life growing up, drank the most beers, and/or met the coolest people. This is mostly due to a strong sense of insecurity, causing a need for constant affirmation and attention.

How to deal with That Guy: As tempting as it is to get into a pissing match with the One-Upper, the best course of action is to give him his small moment of glory, because he clearly needs it. As explained in Ben Franklin’s Virtuous Life Series, “People may talk about that guy’s exciting story the next day, but they’ll remember how much of a gentleman you are years later.” Be thankful you don’t base your self-worth on how much attention you can get. Go about your business, do great work, and the results will speak for themselves.

How to evolve if you’re That Guy: Nobody really cares how many famous people you know, how much you can bench, or how much better you are at something than everybody else. Start by letting other people have the spotlight every once and a while; continually one-upping your friends is a surefire way to piss everybody off. Instead, pick your battles and share stories when appropriate — not to brag, not to show off, but just to share a great story.

The Fibber (Fullofum Crapolakis)

Characteristics: The Fibber can stretch the truth like a penny-pincher can stretch a dollar. Known to tell dull stories that suddenly become way more exciting (and ultimately completely unbelievable), The Fibber is also known for creating inane excuses when trying to weasel out of any scenario. The Fibber is closely related to Mr. Unreliable and the Poor Sport for similar “lack of truth” qualities.

How to deal with That Guy: Take everything The Fibber says with a grain of salt and don’t bother wasting your time trying to trap him in a lie — he’ll simply get defensive and start weaving another web of lies. Just be thankful that you’re not a liar and take solace in the fact that people can rely on your word. Now, if the lies start to become disruptive to the group, pull the person aside and have a serious conversation about the lies in private rather than calling him out in public.

How to evolve if you’re That Guy: You know you’re lying, your friends know you’re lying, and that hole you’re digging for yourself is only getting deeper. Instead of creating new tall tales and more complex lies to cover for the old ones, just freaking tell the truth and wait until you actually have a good story to tell! Your conscience will thank you and so will your buddies.

Other Lesser Known Species of That Guy

Other than the five prominent species of That Guy listed above, there are actually quite a few others who might be lesser known but are no less abysmal:

The Flip Flopper (Fencium Sitterus). Having no opinion of his own, the Flip Flopper will alter his beliefs depending on who he’s talking to and who he’s trying to impress. He is generally classified as an invertebrate for lacking a backbone.

The Loud Mouth (Pieholus Gigantum). This chump cannot keep his mouth shut, whether it’s keeping a secret, talking during a movie, or putting down another friend when he’s not around. The Loud Mouth generally should not be trusted with any important information unless it needs to be shouted from the rooftops.

The “Takes It Too Far” Guy (Over The’Lineicus). This poor soul lives life to the extreme a little too often. He’s generally the one that always gets WAY too drunk at parties, takes jokes too far after they’ve become unfunny, and gets offended over things that nobody else would ever take personally. Tact is pretty much non-existent.

“The Garbage Man” (In’lovum with Jesses’girlikus). The Garbage Man has no problem attempting to date his friend’s ex-girlfriend, because he lacks the skills to move outside of the social circle and meet new people. The most despicable variation of this species will attempt to date his friend’s current girlfriend, which generally results in an ass-kicking.

Steve Kamb is the founder of Nerd Fitness and the author of How to Try Again. You can find him on Substack. 

Be sure to listen to our podcast with Steve about his latest book: 

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With our archives now 4,000+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in August 2010. 

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

The Friends of Eddie Coyle. This week I watched this 1973 crime film during my Zone 2 cardio, and man, it’s awesome. Robert Mitchum, in one of the best performances of his career, plays Eddie Coyle, an aging, small-time Boston gunrunner who’s facing prison time and has to decide whether to snitch on his associates to stay out. It’s based on the novel by George V. Higgins, who worked as a prosecutor in Boston and filled the book with dialogue that sounds like how actual criminals talk. Everything about the movie is well done: the story, the acting, the gritty and washed-out 1970s cinematography. Also, Dave Grusin’s funky soundtrack is top-notch. One of the most ’70s movies I’ve seen. 

Pentel Sharp Premium Mechanical Pencils. I like a good pencil. While Blackwings are my mainstay, I also appreciate a well-made mechanical pencil, and these fit the bill. They’re a dressed-up version of the classic Pentel Sharp drafting pencil that’s been around since 1970. They feel nice in your hand and lay down some smooth graphite. I’ve been using them lately to make notes in books as I read them; the fine 0.5mm lead works well for cramming comments into the margins. A pack of four runs about sixteen bucks.

Don’t bunt. Friend of AoM Michael Easter writes one of my favorite Substack newsletters, Two Percent. In this installment, he shares some advice from the legendary adman David Ogilvy: when you’ve got a job to do, don’t bunt. Swing big and “compete with immortals.” Easter then digs into the psychology of why we tend to bunt; we overestimate how much other people notice and judge us, and our brains treat the possibility of social rejection like a survival threat. A good kick in the pants if you’ve been hedging on something.

David Ogilvy was a fount of good advice, by the way; we’ve got a great write-up of all his rules for creative success here.

Rebel Yell by S.C. Gwynne. Back in 2019, I had S.C. Gwynne on the podcast to talk about his book Empire of the Summer Moon. It’s one of my favorite narrative history books, so I’ve been wanting to read more of Gwynne’s work. I finally got around to reading his big mamajama of a biography of Confederate General Stonewall Jackson called Rebel Yell. It’s an incredible story. Before the Civil War, Jackson was a socially awkward, intensely religious professor at the Virginia Military Institute whose students mocked him behind his back. When the Civil War started, he transformed into one of the most audacious and effective generals in history. He became a celebrity not only in the South, but also in the North. People around the world were comparing him to Napoleon. Gwynne does a great job of not only describing the fascinating character of Jackson, but also the ferocity and savageness of Civil War battles. If you liked Empire of the Summer Moon, you’ll like this one, too.

On our Dying Breed newsletter, we published How My Favorite Personality Test Changed How I See Myself and Others and Sunday Firesides: Keep Looking Over Your Shoulder.

Quote of the Week

People smile at the ‘enthusiasm of youth’ — that enthusiasm which they themselves secretly look back at with a sigh, perhaps unconscious that it is partly their own fault that they ever lost it. — Charles Kingsley

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.