The Aspie Good Life

Weird Pain Regulation

2012-09-11T03:14:00.002-07:00

Commented to my partner on the weekend just gone about weird pain regulation. He seems to be a lot more pain sensitive than me. Currently I have the flu, and I do feel sick, but I don't think to the degree that other people feel it.

Something there about the nervous system regulation and people with Autism/Aspergers ... there are studies done on it like here for those inclined to read further.

I have got the aches and chills, so I am signing off :D
nite!

The Autistic Family Table

2011-05-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

It can be a huge challenge to feed three people on the spectrum (myself included), and NT Dad just gets whatever the family is eating. There are families who prefer to eat gluten/casein free diets ... I have absolutely to admit that I did try those!!! I still have my recipe books ... I remember making a GF pizza, and my husband wasn't too keen on the idea of GF pizza base, so I ordered him some takeaway pizzas, and made the kids a GF pizza.
The kids told me that they didn't want the GF pizza, they said it was (something very impolite) and refused to eat it, and told me they wanted their father's pizza from the store.
Fast forward something like 8 years later, I have converted them to home made pizza out of choice, necessity at times, and definitely as a health preference. I haven't gone back to the gluten free base, but I have compromised and endeavour to make most things that we eat from scratch.
I became food additive and trans-fat neurotic a few years back. Is it easy to make stuff from scratch? Not altogether, it takes planning, and definitely there are some useful tools that make life infinitely easier. With websites like Taste, Best Recipes, and All Recipes - you can all but do away with a collection of recipe books, because they're pretty much infinitely packed with everything you can think of (mind you I maintain quite a collection of recipe books). You can also find plenty of gluten and casein free recipes too.
I have got one youngster that hates fish, and pretty much anything that looks like salad, and for fruit will only touch apples. The other one (now a teenager) has got a humungous appetite, but his protein variety is limited to fish, home made rissoles, burgers, sausages, chops - which is fine really, but you can throw out any variation of pasta bake, mixed together food, casserole or otherwise, and especially things like spaghetti bolognese ... (yuck, its made with mince). He told me he wasn't too fussed on meatloaf either. He wants to know why people bother to make mince. It is a cheap source of protein, and for an ultra low fat variety, I prefer turkey mince. But he won't touch things like shepherd's pie, lasagna or anything like that. When we have a casserole, or anything he won't eat - I keep some frozen fish fillets in the freezer on standby to steam so that at least he will eat something. Ahhhh ... the challenge.

Knowing when to slow down

2010-11-30T01:48:00.000-08:00

I have been at a totally frantic pace for the last month, or even longer ... the days have slurred together into one big blur, and I can't remember specific days ... my brain is tired.
We had a huge 15th Wedding Anniversary celebration on the weekend, which was completely amazing. But then there was a family get together on the Saturday night, and then another get together on the Sunday. I feel like I have become a virtual whirlwhind, and I need to slow down - right down. My head is just dizzying.
It is so necessary to take a mind vacation! When everything is going crazy, especially at this seasonal time of year with all of the Christmas celebrations, and end of year parties - it is especially important to take time out to relax. So tonight - for me it is a no-brainer. I wanted to have a no-brainer last night, but I got asked to reinstall the operating system on my husband's computer, and I turned it into a dual boot Linux system. I got to focus, but I don't know what to focus on, there is just so much!!! I have even much neglected my writing, so sorry !!!
nite all

Patience, Persistence, Endurance

2010-10-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

I have been putting together a resource book for parents of children in a special education unit. I hope to give them some hope - I am hoping to do some serious community engagement with these parents.

Sometimes as a parent, life just gets really rough. I got spammed today by somebody telling me that she was interested in my writing. LOL she has been banned off Twitter for spamming. Sigh. Only took a quick Google search to weed that one out.

Yesterday at the movie club with the kids, I had them for about ten minutes, then they got up and said they had enough - one after the other they got up and said that they were bored and wanted to do something else.

So my movie club is a struggle. It is really about my son - helping him, but I was hoping to give the kids some social skills too.

I have been in a real slump of a mood these past couple of days. I really miss my father in law, who was into the local cine-club. He and his mates all used to get together and really enjoy life making movies.

I know that you didn't come here to listen to me whine and bang on about how hard life is - you already know that.

If you are a parent with a child with Autism, do me a favour - go into your son or daughter's room while he or she is asleep, and look at how wonderful he or she is. Stroke his or her cheek gently. This little miracle needs you to keep on going and be his or her champion.

It takes real inner strength, and endurance. Life isn't about a high speed sprint - it is about an endurance test. My inner strength comes from trust in Jesus. You may think that is corny - but honestly - my trust in God my creator, and in the work that He did in His precious Son on the Cross, and the gift He offers of relationship with Him has held me back from literally at one stage driving off a cliff.

There has always been that small, still voice in the darkness, the light that burns consistently in the darkness of my mind. The light will and has overcome the darkness.

I don't hate myself anymore - that in and of itself is a miracle. Eighteen months ago - I hated and loathed myself. I know that other people don't like me, and have issues with me, but I am ok with that - because I only live before the audience of one - my Creator.

One day I will answer to Him for my life, and the gifts he gave me and how I used them.

I know that the days are hard, laborious, and that hope at times feels futile. Don't ever give in to the urge of destroying yourself. You are precious. Your life here is a gift - you have purpose and a destiny carved out for you. Whether you are looking at yourself in the mirror, and then going to the cupboard and the fridge and binging, then purging, or taking laxatives, or taking substances that will slowly kill you, or are contemplating hurting yourself - cry out for help - please - call your local suicide prevention line!

Don't give up hope, ever!!! You are a wonderful, beautiful, masterpiece of creation. I have seen that God has masterfully made each of us a complete masterful work of art. You were created, you weren't mass produced or manufactured. God can align the fractures and splinters in your life to look like the cuts on a beautiful diamond.

There is a popular song that says something that every scar is a battle that has been lost - no - it isn't. A scar is something that you have healed from. There are beautiful scars too - like the two incision marks I have on my stomach from my two caesareans.

God has a plan for people with Autism. He can equip them, strengthen them, and give them destinies of victory and blessing.

Don't give up - be patient, persistent, and endure. Nothing in life that is worthwhile is ever instantaneous!!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me - He is my inner strength. I am self sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.

Don't chuck in your life. You are too precious for that, and loved also. Don't deny the beauty and marvel of the creation that you are.

Does Autism Come Bundled with Allergy Problems?

2010-10-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

I have spent a good part of the last ten years abusing my body with chemical junk. Additives, sugar, hydrogenated trans fats ... yuck yuck yuck ... it has left me obese and grouse - thankfully I am undoing a lot of that patterned behaviour of self abuse.

A side effect of all that exposure to chemical additives in my food however has resulted in my being sensitised to a lot of different things - particularly along the lines of body products.

I bought a night cream just recently - and thought how lovely it smelled - and smoothed it all over myself before I went to sleep. The next day my husband came home and asked me what the heck I had done to my face!!! It was all red and it had started to blister and peel - so I have stopped using that product.

The ingredient list reads like a commercial chemical laboratory. So, I went to the health food store today and purchased an all organic, chemical free, not tested on animals night cream. It has all kinds of things like grape seed oil, jojoba oil, shea butter and rosehip oil. I thought why not give it a try - what can it hurt??

So, I figure I have pretty much now decided to join the natural revolution. This summer I am going to be planting myself a vegetable garden & take much delight in knowing that I can grow my own vegies without chemical additives.

I also bought myself a natural health book. And I have also signed up to study naturopathy.

This chemical sensitivity and allergy thing isn't a joke - it is very real - and can be quite frightening. My brother cannot work in his trade properly because he is allergic to the chemicals that they use.

I remember a really awful incident where my brother went and got himself a burger from a large chain takeaway store, and after he ate the burger his neck swelled up and he couldn't breathe!!!

I know that many years ago when I started work after leaving school, and studying part time, I was doing fibreglassing - I ended up being sick in my air filtration mask, and with rashes all up my arms from the chemicals. I ended up having to leave due to ill health from the chemicals.

I used to think that I got bad dandruff - turns out I actually have psoriasis on my scalp. My son has psoriasis on his scalp too.

I can't use a lot of cleaning chemicals, because they make me wheeze, and I noticed that when the floral carnival was on in town, my youngest son's eyes ended up red and inflamed from all the pollens flying around, and he was also wheezing.

I tried a deodorant recently, and it stung and burned like crazy - I had to wash it off.

I remember a lady I met a number of months ago saying that she had a clean diet and that it helped her greatly.

Come to think of it - my cats now can only eat a Bones and Raw Food Diet (Barf Diet). With the dry food or the canned food they ended up spewing it up all over the place, or having really smelly and loose stools, and excessive thirst.

Seems a little more than coincidental that since I put them on a BARF diet they have stopped all the bad gastric symptoms and are much happier within themselves.

And since reducing pretty much down to almost no processed food whatsoever - my liver has perfect function.

Interesting ...

The Home Spa Session: Tips to revitalise and invigorate you

2010-10-27T03:56:00.000-07:00

Enhance your wellbeing and vitality with a simple and affordable home spa treatment session.

In the 21^st century, people are working more hours than ever before. Stress and working excessive amounts of overtime are factors that can contribute to coronary heart disease. There are studies that support this.

Taking care of yourself to improve your health and increase your sense of wellbeing will help to reduce your stress. The option of a DIY home spa treatment provides an opportunity to unwind, decrease your stress levels, all without leaving your home, or going to any significant expense. This is particularly favourable option, because when you are at home, in your own time – a DIY home spa treatment fits in with your lifestyle, and if you are busy and can’t get away to a spa retreat (either because of time or expense) then you will find this opportunity hard to refuse.

The trickiest part is finding the time. Once you have found the time – and it is vital to schedule me-time into your day to day life – by having a few tools, treatments and some know how, you can get right into the DIY at home spa experience.

Focus on Indulgence of all of Your Senses through a Tranquil Spa Sanctuary

A really good at home spa experience will be a delight to all of your senses – touch, smell, taste, hearing, and sight. By incorporating a soothing environment to your at home spa venue, it will help you maximize the pleasure of your experience.

A spa is generally associated with water – so creating an atmosphere in your bathroom is a good start. Make sure you have fresh, fluffy towels. If you line-dry your towels, you can fluff them up a little by putting them into your dryer for five minutes on warm. Soft fluffy towels are one of life’s greatest pleasures, especially if they are slightly warm to the touch.

For a relaxing scent – if you don’t prefer candles, a reed diffuser is inexpensive and convenient. It takes about 2 days for the scent to fully ripen, so keep this in mind when timing your spa. Otherwise, for instant olfactory pleasure, you can’t beat the aromatherapy candle. For safety it is wise to use a holder for the candle, and keep well away from small children and pets.

A sound machine that plays soothing sounds is a great option to use over and over, otherwise you can’t go past the MP3 player dock, or the CD player. You can pick up tranquil soundtracks from your local library. Either play these directly on your CD player or load them onto your MP3 player. Make sure you keep either device well away from water.

Detox with Green Tea

Hydrate yourself with some water, and then make yourself a wonderful detox indulgence – a cup of green tea. The health benefits of green tea are endless. This is a good way to start off your DIY home spa experience.

Moisten Your Skin with a Steam Facial

After you have had time to wind down with your cup of tea, take ten minutes to give yourself a steam facial. Boil 4 cups of water. Add some dried herbs such as chamomile, and leave to cool slightly, as you don’t need to burn your face. When the temperature of the steam is tolerable, put the water into a bowl, and put a towel over your face and the bowl, and allow the steam to circulate in your little steam tent for about ten or fifteen minutes.

Sooth Stressed Hair with Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Before you have your steam facial, get a couple of teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil, and apply it throughout your hair. Wrap a warm towel over your head and leave for about twenty minutes. When you hop into the shower next, simply shampoo it out to remove the residue.

Treat Your Body with a Natural Exfoliating Treatment

Next it is time to get into the shower for an excellent body exfoliation treatment and to rinse the olive oil out of your hair with shampoo. For the body exfoliating treatment get yourself a handful of sea salt and add a teaspoon of honey to it for an excellent salt scrub. Rub all over yourself, and then rinse off in the shower. Alternatively, you can use brown sugar, as it is less abrasive and more suitable for sensitive skin.

For a Wonderful All Over Moisturising and Soothing Body Treatment

Get a handful of regular rolled oats, and either put them in a muslin cloth, or a handkerchief, and run yourself a bath. Drop the oat-filled muslin cloth into the bath and then enjoy a luxurious soak in the tub that will soothe and moisturize your skin after an exfoliation treatment.

Don’t Forget to Treat Your Feet

Using a pumice is a great way to shape up dried out heels, and remove dead skin. Use the pumice on your feet while you are in the bath. Once you are out of the bath, rub some vitamin E cream over your feet to soothe them. A foot cream containing peppermint is also a good way to soothe and revitalize tired and aching feet. Palmers have a great foot balm – it is rich, moisturizing, soothing, and smells great.

Moisturise Your Body with Oils

Either jojoba oil or sweet almond oil are wonderful to apply on your body, while you are still damp. Don’t dry off until you have applied the oil, being slightly damp will aid in the oil being absorbed into your skin. Once the oil has absorbed, then towel dry yourself, and your skin will feel amazingly soft and supple.

Add a Dash of Glamour to Finish off Your Spa Treatment

To finish off your spa treatment, a quick manicure will never go astray. File your fingernails and toenails to the desired length, and then apply a good quality hand cream. Once your hands have absorbed the hand cream, ensure that there is no residue left on your nails beds, and then apply a quick couple of coasts of your favourite polish.

You Have Just Soothed Away Your Stresses in Around an Hour

This at home spa treatment would have probably taken around about an hour. Considering that the most important person that you need to take care of is yourself – that is a very minor investment of your time. Self-care is so important, when you feel better in yourself, you are better able to take care of all the other things you need to do.

Go and take some time out to self-care without guilt and increase your wellbeing.

Source:

Wilde, L. 2005, The Busy Woman’s Home Spa Book, London: Ryland Peters and Small

Home Haircut Tips and Advice for People with Autism

2010-10-26T03:36:00.000-07:00

My hubby and I decided to save ourselves some money by buying a set of hair clippers, and went down to the mall to the Shaver Shop. They were selling some hair clippers for $10 with another purchase. I purchased a bikini line clipper for $20, and in total we spent $30.

Don't get me wrong, trying to save money by cutting the kids' hair is not stress free - they keep wriggling, and the younger one kept dropping various expletives and told me he couldn't bear the clippers' power cord near him, kept telling me how much pain he was in, and kept fussing around and screaming that he was itchy.

Whenever the hairdresser cuts their hair, they are perfectly behaved. I figure they probably know me pretty well, so they feel comfortable enough to lose composure with me, but not the hair dresser.

To cut hair - invest in some clippers, that is a given, or at least a good pair of scissors. To minimise the pain - ensure you have a good cape, or an old sheet. I would also recommend mixing a small amount of conditioner with some water into a plastic spray bottle that you have purchased from the dollar store to spray over the child's hair to minimise the tugging and fussing that occurs when their hair is knotty and not too nice. A wide tooth comb would also be useful to help remove knots, and then a fine comb to assist in cutting the hair.

I also borrowed a book from the library called Cutting Your Family's Hair by Gloria Handel. Another good book with some excellent techniques is Scissors and Comb Haircutting: A Cut-by-Cut Guide for Home Haircutters.

I don't promise that your results will be perfect - but with practice you are likely to improve; and there is always the option of the number one step to cut it all off.

Try to go slowly and patiently - this will minimise the risk of cutting off too much. You are better off cutting a little at a time rather than going right into it. Once it is cut - that is it, you can't put it back, and you have to wait for it to grow back - which takes a few weeks.

With a child with Autism or Aspergers, you do have somewhat of a battle, depending on what kind of day that they have had at school. I cut my kid's hair after they had been out having fun with their disability support worker.

A little bit of bribery goes a long way also - to my younger one - I promised him an ice block after he was finished - I know this is not the most ideal thing to do, but when one is faced with a desperate situation and the hair does need to get cut - use your best judgment for your own child's situation.

My two children do object very much to having their hair cut - they would prefer nothing more than to leave it alone totally. For the sake of hygiene though, and to minimise maintenance, I prefer to keep their hair short. They don't like having their hair combed, so the shorter style tends to lend itself to not having to be much of a fussy hair cut to groom and style.

After the ordeal, both of mine head straight into the shower. Cutting each one's hair took me about 15 minutes, so that gave the first one long enough to wash his hair out and get all the hair off him (still had hair all over him even with a cape because he fidgeted so much). He is a reliable hair washer, so I pretty much leave him to his own hair, but my younger one doesn't tend to rinse his hair out properly, so I have to go and assist him.

He doesn't like it much having me wash his hair either. It has always been a fairly big battle to keep their hair reasonably neat and tidy. Nits are my worst enemy, but that is another post altogether.

I remember the occupational therapist saying to me that a lot of her young autistic clients would have their hair grown really long, and then their parents would have to clipper it all off to almost bald, such was the ordeal of having their hair cut.

She said that it was not the most ideal situation however, as it leaves the child looking quite severe - my sister-in-law, a teacher, told me that children who have their hair shaved really short get picked on at school because they look like they have had nits, and get victimised. Some children however like this style, as it suits them, and for those who are confident with their style and individuality - be flexible in allowing a child to have a say in what style they want their hair in.

I had the situation recently where my eldest son decided he wanted to cut his hair because his fringe was growing into his eyes and annoying him, so he cut his hair off in the taxi. When he came home, I had to clipper it all off, and it took a good number of weeks to grow it back.

So probably keeping hair clean as you can, often as you can, and groomed as best you can will see you through. Sometimes the at home hair cut is less stressful than having to take a child out to the mall. Sometimes you have the option of a hairdresser who comes to your home, so look at your options.

I would advise the least stressful option, and the one that you can best afford.

Hair cutting is one of those things of living with autism that can be quite tricky - because of the sensory integration dysfunction - but you make the best of a situation with the tools and resources and comfort level that you have.

If you or your child do experience significant distress when it comes to having your hair cut, groomed or washed, it may be a good option to seek the advice of an occupational therapist who can recommend some effective techniques to minimise discomfort.

I am off to go and de-stress, after having done some hair cutting this evening, LOL.

Birth Control for Teenagers with Autism

2010-10-22T05:16:00.000-07:00

Are you a parent of a teenager with Autism, and having to consider giving your child access to birth control? Give your child birth control, but also educate him or her about the responsibility of becoming sexually active.

Birth control for autistic teens is highly advisable for a number of reasons, but relationship education is absolutely essential. Whilst an autistic teenager is physically maturing at the same rate as his or her chronologically aged peers, he or she is not socially or emotionally developed to the same maturity level until a later chronological age, and never fully adept at communication and socialization due to the permanency of these deficits. The frontal lobe of a human is not developed until he or she is an adult. Research and studies indicate that all teenagers’ brains are still developing until adulthood.

If that fact is considered, and if you add the social and emotional impairments that are associated with a diagnosis of autism – then a parent or guardian has a responsibility to protect that child from getting into a situation that will cause adverse effects in that teen’s (with a diagnosis of Autism) young life – the negative potential effects of becoming sexually involved with somebody and not understanding the necessity of birth control to prevent unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Learning Life Skills for Young People with Autism

A youth with Autism should be given the best possible start in life – he or she has already struggled through childhood, and schooling, and during the teenage years faces all of the struggles of the changes to their bodies during puberty. Change is difficult enough to face for a person with Autism, who finds that a predictable schedule and permanency of routines helps that person with Autism maintain a reasonable quality of life.

While a teenager is still developing, he or she is still developing his or her independence and skills of self determination. These skills take time to develop and practice. School and socialisation, maybe taking up a part time job, having to think about what college to apply for, and the changes due to puberty are enough for any young person to have to deal with. For a person with Autism, stability and some constancy of routine during a period of such change is essential.

Relationships for People with Autism and Their Significant Others

As well as learning the regular school curriculum, high school students with Autism are also having to learn the social curriculum. Developing relationships with others takes time to learn, and practice. A lot of teenagers learn to develop relationships with significant others during these years. A lot of these partnerships are short term, some may be a little longer. For a person with Autism, the break up of this relationship may cause significant upset.

Relationships between people with Autism and typically developing people can be fraught with difficulty, as the typically developing person may end up having to compensate for the person with Autism’s lack of natural relating skills. Consequently the relationship may be extremely strained and will come to an end. For the person with Autism who has become attached to the other person, and having to face the end of that partnership – the loss could be potentially very distressing. The person with Autism may have come to rely heavily on the other person to help him or her get through and navigate the perils of daily existence as a person with Autism.

It takes a lot of maturity to be able to handle the consequences of sex. Sex is good, and is a wonderful thing, but it is something that needs to be fully comprehended before somebody decides to become sexually involved with another person.

Relationship Education is Essential for People with Autism

Before becoming sexually involved with another person, a person with Autism needs to first learn about how to act in a relationship. Being in a relationships involves both parties giving, a relationship should not be one sided.

Before a successful sexual relationship can be initiated, each party has to give to one another outside of the bedroom. Dr Kevin Leman has written a book entitled Sex Begins in the Kitchen, to illustrate how important it is for each member of a couple to be considerate of each other before initiating a sexual relationship.

A teenager with Autism needs to be respected in this situation – the provision of birth control is a delicate subject, and needs to be handled responsibly. A teen with Autism needs to be educated about how to handle relationships, and why birth control is a necessity, until he or she decides that they want to become permanently involved in a monogamous relationship with a person and to maybe have children.

An Informed Decision When Not to Use Birth Control

Children should be welcome into the world. Parents with Autism can be loving responsible and caring parents, and also loving and considerate partners to their significant others. If a person with Autism decides with his or her partner to bring a child into the world, then it should be a decision that is thoroughly considered, and definitely not before he or she is mature enough to handle the responsibility.

The other aspect of sex education, and educating about birth control, and also relationships education, is that it teaches safety and respect for both the person with Autism, and his or her sexual partner. Using birth control and understanding why it is necessary is essential to preserve a person’s body against unwanted sexually transmitted diseases.

Don’t Let a Teenager with Autism Contribute to the S.T.I. Statistics

The statistics for sexually transmitted infections worldwide are truly hideous. If a teenager with Autism can be properly prepared, with education, understanding and wait until he or she has matured to the extent (typically not the teenage years but at least until early adulthood) where he or she can make an informed and independent decision to have sexual intercourse without protection from S.T.I.s and unplanned pregnancy – then he or she needn’t be a contribution to those statistics.

Give a Youth with Autism a Good Start in Life

Protect a teenager with Autism, and allow that individual to mature into a healthy, independent, informed and educated person who can make wise decisions about his or her sexual relationships. It will help that person make it through to adulthood without permanent reminders that he or she was not truly ready to have unprotected intercourse.

Reduce Your Tax Bill Through Work Related Expense Deduction

2010-10-21T17:04:00.001-07:00

If you are self employed, or a wage or salary earner in Australia – you will end up paying tax. You can significantly reduce your tax bill, however, by being aware of what you can deduct in the way of work related expenses, and save yourself potentially hundreds of dollars in the tax that you need to pay – which means more money in your pocket, and not into the Australian Taxation Office’s coffers. It is also quite legitimate.

The ATO themselves also comment that through claiming work related expenses you “do not pay more tax than you need to.”

Generally, anything that you incur that directly relates to your employment, that you incurred the cost for is a work related expense. To claim that work related expense - you cannot have been reimbursed for it by your employer. There are also some exceptions to what you can claim as a work related expense also – such as day to day clothing that is not considered occupation specific, travel to and from work, and study for a course not directly related to your employment.

Record Keeping and Substantiation Requirements

You will need to keep records of your expenses. These records include documents such as receipts, logbooks, and expense diaries. Documents for expenses need to include details such as the nature of the goods or services supplied, the name of the supplier, the cost of the goods/services supplied and the currency in which it was paid, and the date of the provision, and also the date that the document was issued. Logbooks are ideal for keeping records of car related expenses, and expense diaries assist in recording home office expenses such as electricity and gas, and in certain circumstances occupancy related costs.

The ATO accepts a number of types of documents, including such things as warranties, BPAY receipt numbers, PAYG summaries, invoices and statements.

You will need to keep these records for at five years after the date that you lodge your tax return, so that if you are called for a compliance audit, you can substantiate these expenses via all the documents that you have kept. If you are called upon for an audit you have certain rights under the Taxpayers Charter, such as being given a reasonable amount of time to gather your documentary evidence, and have an appointment for a desk audit at a mutually agreeable time, and to also have your tax agent or accountant present.

Various Work Related Expenses and Available Expenses Calculators

Various work related expenses cover: work related study, vehicle expenses, purchasing of publications, uniform and occupation specific clothing purchase and laundering expenses, overtime meals, home office expenses, giving gifts and donations to eligible donation recipients, and investment related expenses, such as rental property expenses and capital allowances.

The ATO provides a number of calculators for the individual in assisting to work out various expenses. They also indicate whether or not you are able to claim for a specific type of expense when making these calculations. There is a study related expenses calculator, a work related car expenses calculator, and also a home office running expenses calculator. There is also a uniform and occupation specific clothing expenses calculator.

Seeking Further Clarification or Explanation

Many Australians who are individual wage earners, salary earners or self employed find that lodging an online tax return is convenient and there is also a fast turn around. Being aware of deductions is important so that you don’t need to pay more tax than you need to.

Compliance with taxation law is a personal responsibility in Australia (for both individuals and businesses), and the ATO does do random desk audits to ensure compliance with taxation laws. Whilst there are provisions if you do make a mistake and seek to rectify your mistake – prevention is better than having to fix up a mistake.

The ATO therefore encourages individuals to either contact them directly, or to seek advice about taxation from a qualified professional to seek advice.

Either way, submitting a tax return that you have done yourself, and where you have been able to make legitimate claims for work related expenses – you may be potentially able to reduce your tax liability for hundreds of dollars that you may have otherwise been aware of. Awareness of legitimate work related deductions, and claiming them against your tax liability will equal more money in your pocket.

Sources:

Bowers, H. Vinton, R. Vidler, R., 2009, Office Tax Procedures: Process Business Tax Requirements, Frenchs Forest, NSW, Australia: Pearson.

Commonwealth of Australia, “Deductions Essentials (Individuals)”, Australian Taxation Office, sourced 22^nd October 2010.

The Benefits of Working with An Exercise Physiologist

2010-10-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

For many people who end up in the exercise physiologist’s office it can be with a sense of hesitation, and coupled with the fact that he or she has attempted a long list of “failures” in the weight loss and self care department, a sense of fear and dread may very well walk right in the door with them.

To that person, success is not really within their vision at that point in time, and that is what is key to the success of Michael Usher – he is able to get success on the horizon for that person – one step at a time. Small stroke of genius then that his health and wellness company is called Vision Health and Fitness. Michael relaxes back in his chair in a makeshift office – the studio is undergoing a refit – and contemplates the role he plays in getting people from being near to having a heart attack to well on the way to being vibrant and full of life. That is not just a compliment to him – for many people it is a reality – working with Michael Usher, an exercise physiologist – has literally saved their lives, when combined with the support of that person’s GP, and a dietician to supervise his or her eating plan.

“Many people come in here just on the referral from their general practitioner,” Michael explains that most of his clientele are people who are deemed to have chronic diseases, including obesity, asthma, type II diabetes and get placed on a primary health care plan – which is done by their general practitioners, and includes supervision by an exercise physiologist and a dietician.

Michael explains that a key to a person becoming well is to unearth the reason why that person walks in the door in the very first place: “that is key now to our wellness coaching. The person may come in the door and say that they are just here because the GP (general practitioner) referred him or her, but generally they are not here because they are being forced to – it goes deeper for a lot of people.”

Michael explains that through talking to the person, he unearths with them, the real reason as to why he or she finally got up the courage to walk through the door of his office.

Michael explains now that through wellness coaching, he works with a person to get them to see their own motivations and reasons for becoming well.

“We (the exercise physiologists at Vision) sit down with the person, and with a little guidance from us, that person sets the goals of their own program. For example – they may come in here once a week and work with me, and go for a walk three times a week. They then come back to us and review how they went for the week.”

Michael explains that through guidance and coaching, the locus of control is put back onto that person – he or she really becomes responsible for his or her own health. This, with the added benefit that you have a coach guiding you through all the stages of your motivations for wanting to become well, and having to go and keep a regular appointment all works together synergistically for ensuring that person’s ongoing success.

Another key benefit in ensuring that the person keeps coming and remaining accountable is that there is the novelty and fun value added into the program.

“With a typical gym program that is set – a person has that set for a number of weeks, and boredom can set in. When you are working with an exercise physiologist, you are still working on the same goals, but there is the key of added variety, so within the time where you are working on those goals, you can mix it up a little and stop the boredom from setting in.”

Michael explains also that he works with that person, or a small group of people whilst they are working, and can help them to push themselves that little bit harder.

“When people are going to a gym unsupervised they may not be pushing themselves to the limit,” he explains. Whilst you are working with an exercise physiologist you can expect to be challenged.

“The body quickly learns to adapt to a particular program, and becomes very efficient,” Michael says that when you are working with an exercise physiologist that he or she can observe how your body is responding, and then reassess and adapt the program to a higher level of challenge.

So, its fun, it is social, it is constantly challenging, and it is effective. The other benefit too, particularly for people with special health conditions, is that it is safe. Exercise physiologists are highly trained professionals who understand the limits of the human body, perform thorough health assessments prior to developing a program for a person, and tailor a program for that person’s ability at that point in time. An exercise physiologist will also help that person progress from a state of poor health to the point where are more energetic, vibrant, and are feeling less of the negative side effects of their chronic health conditions.

The only real problem that exists in the field of exercise physiology is that not enough people are aware of them, and only end up working with them after being referred by his or her general health practitioner. Sadly though, it is a reality that chronic disease is becoming all too common in this day – an increase of sitting in front of a screen, not enough time to cook healthy meals, and exercise not particularly high on the priority list because other things have to be done first.

The irony is, however, that if people do take the time to exercise, and to eat well – they will end up having more energy to do those other things on the priority list and spending less money on health care in the long term.

Exercise physiologists are professionals who care lots about people’s health and wellbeing, and help people with chronic disease become well again. They don’t just train people with chronic diseases, however – Michael works with a range of people – people coming in after having had surgery such as hip replacements, and also elite athletes.

Working under the supervision of an exercise physiologist is for the huge majority of Michael’s clients an incredibly satisfying, enjoyable and beneficial investment in their health. The retention rate of people who walk in through the doors of Vision Health and Fitness, and that keep coming back in the long term is testimony to that. Once people start seeing the results – and they do come quickly – and are encouraged by a dedicated, considerate and caring team of professionals, they just keep on coming back.

Michael has a litany of testimonials to attest to the benefits of working with an exercise physiologist such as himself. They aren’t just random people – but real people who have lived and breathed the struggles with obesity, heart conditions, arthritis, or having to do rehabilitation after surgery. They may not become elite athletes, but they are learning to self-care, and enjoy life, and get back that spark of confidence that life is worth living, and that they are indeed worthwhile as a human being, so that they are investing in one of their greatest assets - their health and wellbeing. And Michael is helping them along the way.

**on a note here - I am one of the people that Michael has helped to turn my life around!!!** I didn't just write this article for a bit of bollocks - I really totally have been helped by Michael. Talk to your primary health care practitioner about seeing an exercise professional if you are considering to do so. I did and it has changed my life.

Skin Cancer treatment and prevention tips

2010-10-15T04:41:00.000-07:00

Got a referral today for the surgeon - I have to have a potential skin cancer cut off my face. I am not looking forward to this, but I am going to get it over and done with.

The spot has been growing slowly over a few years - it is now over the diameter where it is now considered important to get rid of it, and a cause for concern. Once its cut out though, all should be good.

Just thought I would share with you the importance of regular health checks - for both men and women. Make sure when you get your annual health check that it includes a full skin check.

Skin cancer can be treated, if gotten early.

If you are concerned about any spot - use the ABCD mole check to have a look over yourself. Keep an eye out on anything that has changed in particular. If it won't heal or keeps bleeding etc. Even if you have the slightest concern - it is better to go and see the doctor for reassurance. Skin cancer can be treated best when it is caught early.

Of course, skin cancer prevention is always the best path to take in avoiding skin cancer. Use a good sunscreen with a high SPF factor, go out with a broad-brimmed hat, and a long sleeved shirt. If you are going to the beach, I recommend using a rash vest for extra sun protection. Also wear sunglasses that will protect your eyes from UV rays.

You may think that you don't need to protect yourself from sun exposure because you work indoors, and rarely go outside, but it is quite possible to get melanomas on the soles of the feet, on the genitals and on areas that are generally not exposed to the sun. So prevent skin cancer or get it treated early via your health checks. Make sure you put on sunscreen every day, over your arms, face, neck - anywhere that will be exposed to the sun. It is possible even to get sun damage while you are driving on a commute. Better to be safe than sorry.

For further information about skin cancer and its treatment ask your health care practitioner. In Australia you can also contact the Cancer Council Australia for further information.

Don't forget to protect the kids too!!

Having "sense" means saving dollars!

2010-10-14T03:13:00.000-07:00

A while back I posted that I had decided to fix our lawnmower instead of buying a new one. Well - I saved myself $161.00 by doing so today! The lawnmower cost us $39 to fix, whereas buying a new cheapie from the local discount department store was $200. So I was economical with our financial resources, and saved our already owned lawnmower from going to the landfill.

The other thing I did today was to order a new bowl and feed tube for my food processor. It is a brilliant little device - it has saved me countless hours of food preparation and has been so faithful. The motor in it still runs like a charm. I bought it on sale when I was pregnant with baby number two, so it is about 11 years old.

Unfortunately the plastic bowl on it cracked - probably from many years of use - and being in and out of the dishwasher. Plastic does tend to end up getting brittle after a while, so 11 years for a plastic bowl is a good innings, for the really heavy load of work that it has done.

So - considering that the food processor cost me about $150, that I had bought it on sale, and it had been reduced in the post Christmas sales by about 60 percent - and that was over a decade ago, I looked at an equivalent replacement, and to buy a new one I was looking at at least about $400.00.

So, I enquired about replacing the parts to the bowl that I needed - all up, including postage - the parts are being imported from France where it is made - it cost me no more than $26.00. How crazy is that. I bought a brilliant French food processor at a bargain price, it is great quality, and to replace the parts was dirt cheap!

Doing your research, getting a good quality product at a good price, and keeping it in good repair will pay you lots of dividends!!! The same is true of your car, and your computer - make sure that you maintain those, and they will give you good service.

This pretty much extends even to your body!!! I have only had two sedatives in the whole lot of the past 14 months - because I have been eating lots better, not drinking 12 cups of coffee a day like I was, drinking heaps and heaps of soda pop, eating lots more fruit and vegies, and cutting back on sugar and processed foods.

My son wanted chicken and chips for tea - he even suggested to me that "Mum we should have broccoli with that to make it a more rounded meal," from a ten year old who was raised going virtually every other day driving in a takeaway store drive through, wow, it blew me away!!! The chicken is a fresh roast chicken that I have stuck in the oven, along with my own home made chips. I peel them, chop them up and put some gourmet vegetable stock, some olive oil and the cut up chips into a tupperware season serve, shake them up, then bake it all together for about one and a half hours at 180 degrees celsius. Nice. Then we shall have steamed up broccoli with that.

I even buy plain old fresh meat for the cats now, instead of dry cat food. My brown cat was having serious allergies to the dried food, and puking it up all the time. The cat's back end products weren't particularly pleasant either.

I swapped to unprocessed kangaroo meat and since then the two moggies (Australian slang for cats) have been really quite healthy, and don't have any more digestive complaints. So I am saving money there by giving them better food. Using a lot less kitty litter too, because they aren't as thirsty as they used to be.

*I am not saying that dry food is bad for your cat - check with your vet as to the recommendations that they have for an appropriate diet for your cat or dog. Fresh roo meat was recommended to me by the breeder of my two burmese fur babies. There are certainly some very high quality dry foods available for cats.

I also spend a lot more on preventative health than what I used to - I go and see an exercise physiologist once a week, and this costs me a reasonable amount, but I utilise my health cover to help cover it. To me it is worth it, because I am much more mentally resilient and not as exhausted all the time.

Do I still have chocolate?? Yes, but I buy the very best I can afford - I buy an expensive Swiss dark chocolate with roast almonds. I don't tend to read fashion magazines anymore either - I tend to buy more health magazines, because I find great little health tweaks in there that help me keep on the straight and narrow, and if I get back on the bandwagon they are also a source of inspiration to keep going with my healthy lifestyle.

Better quality, consistently maintained - seems to save money for a whole lot of things!! It takes an attitude of looking at yourself as though you are worthwhile - I know because I don't hate myself anymore and think that I am worthwhile as a human being, I take better care of myself - I am learning to take better care of my things too, not just to throw them away and get another cheap and nasty whatever when something breaks down.

You are worthwhile. I don't know if anybody has told you that lately, and I know that I have been writing today about saving money - but it really comes down to being a wise and resourceful person who has healthy self respect. If you have healthy self respect and love yourself and take care of yourself, that is not a bad thing. If you don't take care of yourself, who will? I had to learn to take up my responsibility, and I have to say that my life, although at times it can be very exhausting and stressful - I am loving my life, more now than I ever have.

Discover how wonderful you are. I learned that I was wonderful through my faith, and learning about God's love for me. You may have a different thing that will show you how valuable you are - but know that the world would be not the way it should be, if you weren't here. You are here for a reason. Cherish your life, and your uniqueness.

The Importance of Being Healthy - Mood Management

2010-10-13T03:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, it was three years to the day that my father passed away, and also my father-in-law's birthday, and he passed away about 10 months before my own father did.

So for all intents and purposes - it was a pretty shoddy day, and I would usually have been lolling about and feeling bad about life in general.

Not so, not even today - sure I was sad, and the weather around here has been windy, cold and rainy.

What is the difference? Just the small choices that I make with respect to the food that I put in my body, and also in moving around more. I also have a stronger and more positive social network (well I really only have a couple of close friends, but lots of friendly acquaintances).

I am rewarding myself differently now too - now it isn't about oh go and get some chocolate because you did a good job, its how about I go and pick up a health magazine for some inspiration, or go to the library and load myself up with books!

I am enjoying life now, yes, I still get sad, I still get mad ... but the debilitating depressions are slowly becoming a distant memory as my body gets healthier from within, and people are starting to complement me on my shrinking waist.

I think one of the key things is that I don't hate myself anymore, so I am not trying to kill myself slowly with junk food binges.

The other thing too, is that I have a team of health professionals supporting me - it has made a world of difference. It just took a little bit of courage for me to reach out and say can you help me, please - I can't do this alone. And now, I am benefiting from admitting that I don't have to journey alone.

How to fix a DVD burner/writer that won't playback DVDs

2010-10-13T03:29:00.000-07:00

Building a new PC can be a rewarding and fruitful experience, and can save you a lot of money if you know how to put one together. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it is quite straightforward and trouble free. You put it altogether, install all the software and then you can sit back and admire your handiwork.

Sometimes, though the occasional ‘teething problem’ will occur in one of the components of your new system, which may not be immediately apparent. For example – you are able to install the operating system, you can open and look at the contents of a CD, and play some music. So you can get into thinking that the optical drive – in this case a DVD writer is working fine.

It may be your own computer, or one you have built for a relative or friend, and sooner or later the problem will become obvious to you – the dang thing won’t playback your favourite DVDs.

You were, or your friend was looking forward to trying out the movie playback on a brand new PC, and that because you saved some money from building it yourself – you were able to splash out on a lovely big LED backlit widescreen monitor, and some really awesome audio system. You put in your favourite movie, and voila – nothing happens.

Then you try another DVD – same thing! Nothing happens. Now – you have to troubleshoot it. In determining the problem there are a number of sequential steps you need to take. This will help you get quickly back to being able to watch your favourite blockbuster at home on your new PC before you know it.

Try using a different media player other than Windows Media Player, or make sure that your Windows Media Player Codecs are up to date. You can also try using an open source media player like VLC media player. There are other ones available from a good website like Cnet Download.

Check that all the cabling has been wired properly. Open the box, look at all the cables from the DVD player to the motherboard. Are they secured? Have they been accidentally knocked out of place or come loose? Check the power cables too.

Try playing some audio – can it do that? This information will help you if you need to contact technical support.

Check for a driver update. In Windows under device manager, go to the optical drive and check the status of the DVD writer. You may need to update the drivers. First uninstall them, then using the model number and brand of the drive, you can either use Google to find a driver, go to the website of the manufacturer, or use the Windows option to go online and download the latest drivers. You may be able to find the necessary drivers from Drivers.com – be aware though that to access certain features of this website you may have to pay. It does have a limited service free membership option however.

You can try updating the firmware. To do this you can go to the manufacturers site, and look in their support section for updated firmware. This may fix the problem.

If you are using a Windows operating system, go to the Microsoft support site for information about known problems, and available fixes. You can also check for Windows compatibility issues on the Microsoft Support Site.

Go to technical support forums, and to a site like Tom’s Hardware to find out information about possible solutions to your problem.

You may need to download a Codec pack. You can get Codec packs such as K-Lite Codec Pack for free, and then run that to update all your decoders for DVD playback and other media file playback.

So if you have tried all the above, and nothing is to avail – call the technical support line for the manufacturer of the device – find the number for your area, and get put through to a technical support officer. Tell them you have done all of the above, and more than likely be told that there may be a problem with the drive itself. Depending on how old the drive is – check your warranty, and you may be entitled to claim a replacement drive. If it is determined that you have done all the above, and the drive still doesn’t play back DVDS – either send it back to the store you bought it from, get a replacement from the manufacturer, or take it to a well recommended technician to give you a second opinion.

Taking it back to the store – you may be told that the store technicians will check the drive to verify that it is not working. Then if that is the case you may be entitled to a statutory refund (check your legal rights for your area). Make sure you keep all the receipts and the packaging for your drive.

Once you have obtained a new drive then go and reinstall it in your PC. If that does not work then you may need to call in a professional technician to get your DVD drive up and working, so that you soon be able to watch movies.

If you have followed the above steps yourself, at least you have made a reasonable attempt at repairing it and determining that it isn’t working. You will have saved yourself some money even if you end up getting a second opinion because you will have already gone through these steps so that you will be able to tell the technician what you have done.

Once it’s back in and working – enjoy your new PC, or upgrade, and widescreen monitor and the great experience of your favourite blockbuster movie!

Setting up, installing and troubleshooting a home computer network

2010-10-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

Within the last ten years, there has been a progressive uptake of home networks. With the widespread availability and increasing ease of use of networking components and competitively priced internet services in just about every area – home networks are no longer being reserved for the fanatical group of gamers at the weekly LAN party, but are increasingly becoming a part of most modern households across a variety of demographics.

If you have never had anything to do with setting up a home network, before you go out and spend money and bring home a whole lot of components and start to try to set them up into a functional and secure network – there are some considerations you will need to explore.

You will need to consider how much your budget allows for, and what sort of requirements you have for your network. You may also want to allow for future upgrades of your network. You will also need to consider the type of internet service you have available in your area, and how to access it.

In some instances – internet service providers (ISPs) will provide a home networking gateway that will serve all the purposes that you may require and depending on what sort of computer you already have, and what sort of network adapter it has – you may require little else but a cable.

Generally though, if an ISP is going to send you a home networking gateway, you may either have to pay for it upfront, or pay in instalments, or they may sign you up for a contract where you have to remain with their service for a minimum amount of time (variable between different ISPs).

After researching the ISPs available in your area, then it is time to match a particular type of internet connection to your budget and requirements. If you require an extremely low cost, portable, use anywhere solution where you have a laptop computer – a USB broadband modem with a prepaid plan (similar to a prepaid cell phone subscriber plan) is a very modest investment, and is exceptionally good value for what it does. It is also a good backup should your home internet service go down.

You may have cable internet available in your area, or you may have ADSL in your area, or you may have satellite available. Depending on what is offered in your area – this will be the deciding factor in what kind of modem you buy. A modem is the interface between your computer and the internet – it stands for modulator/demodulator. In the ancient days of dial up, and now also with broadband services that use the telephone network service, a modem changes the analogue signals from the server’s modem back to digital signals which your modem interprets, and then sends this information in a digital form to your computer.

Generally the kind of broadband service in your area will dictate what type of modem is available in the local stores. Generally it is recommended that you purchase from a local store if available so that you can easily take the modem (or other networking devices) back to the store if there is a problem.

Here are some tips that will help you in the planning of your network, oce you have arranged what sort of internet service you have available:

- what sort of modem do you wish to purchase? Do you want one that also includes a built in router, do you want to be able to set up a wireless network, or do you want to also include a print server or a VOIP (voice over internet protocol) service? All these components can be purchased separately. For ease of setup though (but at a significant expense) you can buy a home networking gateway that includes all these features. Generally though, your network will be up and running in a matter of minutes, and you will be able to have an extremely functional network with a minimum of fuss.

- How many computers do you have now, and will you be purchasing more in the future? If you only have one computer now – all you need purchase is a modem. It only requires a single connection between the computer and the modem for you to access the internet. Setup is simple and inexpensive.

- Do you plan on purchasing more computers in the near future, or will other people be coming over to share your internet service? If this is the case, you can purchase a router with an inbuilt modem. Depending on how much money you have, you have the option of also having the device include a wireless networking capability. If you are not intending to use wireless networking for now, then leave it. You can always purchase a wireless router at a later stage.

Once you have planned your network, and done some research, and decided what kind of functionality you have in your network, it will pay for you to go and either visit the library and borrow some books on home networking such as Home Networks – The Missing Manual, or The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Networking. It may even be worth your while to purchase these books. They are extremely useful, straightforward, and avoid the use of jargon.

Once you have purchased all your components, at this stage you will need to do a visual map of your home network. This is basically a plan – showing which computers will be connected via cabling (fast and secure); which computers will be connected via a wireless network, and if there are additional features such as VOIP or a networked printer.

Depending what sort of residence you are in and whether you are able (or permitted to) may also affect what computers are connected via cabling or via wireless network. Wireless networking is excellent, because you don’t need to have holes drilled in the floor and going under the house between the router and the computer, although cabling is fast and secure. Wireless network security and speed is improving all the time, but you do need to have your computers including a wireless network adapter.

Other than computers, printers and networked backup hard drives, you can now get networked media servers, hook up your computer game consoles, and access a new television service via your internet connection – IPTV. You can also get a phone service via the internet via VOIP.

Home networks are extremely useful as more technologies are being released and introduced, and the price is becoming much more affordable. The beauty of having some networking knowledge is that you can set it up for yourself without too much trouble, and take advantage of all that new internet technologies have to offer.

Once you have laid out your network, you will need to install the devices, cable them all up and load the setup software onto your computers. Generally this is fairly straightforward. You may come across some minor issues which can be easily resolved. If you have a friend with internet access, if you currently do not have access while you are setting up your home network, ask to use your friend’s internet to go to technical support sites, and there you can find answers to set up questions for your networking device.

Sometimes you may set up a network, and it may work for a certain amount of time, and then you may experience problems where you get disconnected and the network fails. If you have tried everything such as - going to the device’s company support website, and downloaded new drivers, made sure your computer is working fine, done everything to set it up a couple of times, contacted your internet service provider, and also gone to technical support forums – yet despite your best efforts the networking device will not work it is more than likely that the device is faulty.

Ensure that you keep all receipts and packaging for the networking devices you have purchased, to ensure you can get a refund. Before you purchase another device, have a look at product reviews and recommendations online and in computer magazines for the particular networking device you are intending to purchase. If you come across an article where people have repeatedly had the same problems with that device, avoid buying it.

If you come across different networking issues that you need to resolve, firstly refer to your issue using Google to look it up, and you will be presented with a number of relevant answers. Research as much as you can on the internet, read relevant books, and also investigate articles in magazines.

The more informed you are, the more you will be able to do with your network, and not have to rely on technical support. However if all else fails, and you have exhausted all avenues, you may have to call in a networking technician. When you do call for a technician, try to find one that has come with a good recommendation. While he or she is there, rectifying your networking issue, ask as much as you can.

If you have the time and the money, investigate doing an adult community education or technical certificate with some networking competencies. A little networking knowledge goes a long way. Once you have set up your network, you will be able to enjoy it and know that you have flexible, upgradeable and functional resource that will serve you well now, and into the future.

Being determined - but also knowing when to slow it up (er maybe even give it up!)

2010-10-11T05:57:00.001-07:00

Well, that router I was attempting (like after about 7 attempts and 20 hours of frustration on the thing) to install for my friend ended up being a lemon.

I had scoured through pages and pages of online support documentation, technical support forums - only to discover that other people have had the same problems with that particular model. It would go great for a while, then the internet connection would go dead.

I applied all the firmware updates, load tested it, and it still chucked it in while I was streaming some crazy dude of youtube.

I rang technical support - but the wait time was nine minutes, and they would have only gone through all the settings again and recommended a firmware upgrade. I knew it was a bodgy one, because they aren's supposed to just jump offline at random like that!!!

Heck even my old reliable is still kicking after something like four years later. I upgraded the antenna on it a while back, and it works like a charm. I can even go and sit out the backyard and park somewhere with a chai and enjoy surfing away - reliably.

But alas, I apologised to my friend profusely for recommending he purchase that particular one, and suggested we go and get his money back. So after 20 hours of frustration ... I finally kicked the boot in, so to speak. Went and swapped it over for a whiz bang all in one wireless modem router that has a three year warranty.

And I got his DVD configuration finally working, so now he just has to pop in a movie and it plays like a charm ...

Now I am off to do a registry cleanup of the hubby's computer sometime ... oh the joys of computers.

So - its all good - when you honestly know that you have done your absolute best, and you still can't get the thing to work - don't give in to that old stubborn nature. It isn't that you have failed, you have tried persistently, learned about something else, and were able to make a sound judgment that it is time to wipe the slate clean and start again. Seems to be the nature of a lot of things.

I guess long term relationships are like that. Every day is a new day, a chance to start over. Get angry, sure, but don't let the sun go down on that anger - to do that is toxic. Don't stew over something that really isn't worth it in the major scheme of things. You lost a pen? A USB drive? It will probably turn up again - don't risk a major argument over it. It is more important to try to maintain a home and relationships that are peaceful, rather than get upset over small things that can be replaced.

LOL I accidentally ran over my sunglasses. I am annoyed about that - there was a stage a few years back where I would have gone off my rocker. They are expensive prescription ones. It will involve an amount of expense to replace them, but I know that I will get another pair in time. That is all good.

I had an epiphany this week too - that a pauper mentality says that "I can't afford (insert whatever desired object is in here)," but a princess's mentality is that she says "I can trust my Heavenly Father to provide that for me if it is in His will," and with that thought in mind, I know that if I abide in Jesus, that my desires will line up with what His will is for my life, and He will give me the desires of my heart.

Isn't that lovely? I don't really need to stress about it then, just focus on living a life that pleases the Lord, and by seeking Him first and having a wonderful and loving relationship with my Heavenly Father - the Creator of the whole big place. Now if He is looking after me, I don't need to worry. With that thought, I bid you all adieu for this evening.

Night all.

Autistic and Relentless - DIY home computer network blues ...

2010-10-10T03:14:00.000-07:00

I did most of the TAFE competencies of a Certificate in Information Technology about five years ago. Recently I got asked by a friend to build a computer and install a network. It is a computer using the latest versions of Windows (Windows 7) and the router is a new generation one with DHCP enabled. I had the dang thing working, but it just keeps dropping out.

The DVD Rom drive is having teething problems too - it can't have its region set - so it won't play anything.

I love the old saying - if it ain't broke then don't fix it ... LOL ... trouble is ... with computers everybody (including myself) sees the joys of an upgrade.

I was using my USB modem the other day - its speed isn't so great around here, because I am not in an urban area. It is ok, it works, but the speed of it is more akin to good old fashioned dial up. In my home Wi-Fi network, I can have a heap of things logged on at once, media streaming, people playing games. Its all good - and it is fast.

Trouble is - I have fallen into the old "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality with my network. It does the job for me, I am quite happy with it - it is reliable (ok so it didn't stream my ABC Australia documentary to my Playstation 3 very well, but hey - you get that), so I am kind of in the mindset that I don't want to touch it.

Touche Lori - got to go and install a brand new network over at a mate's place and fix it up so his brand new PC (all going well there - it didn't get fried, but the DVD Rom doesn't work real flash), and his Windows XP system - check it out - a Packard Bell (now I haven't seen one of those for a long time!) all work on this network. They have also bought a new printer with wireless capability (hmmm tempted to chuck out my humdinger that won't work very well with my Mac). So its a sweet lot of goodies he has.

I had everything up and working beautifully - but I kept getting phone calls that the router would disconnect from the internet all the time.

I set it up today - and I even had my own PC logged on to his wireless network - it was working like a dream. One PC was media streaming, I was updating some software on the other one, and then bada bing bada boom the router logged off, just as my mate had said it did.

I had spent 4 or 5 hours over there today, I had spent about 4 or 5 hours over there yesterday in the morning, then another 3 or 4 hours last night, then a number of hours a week before that!!! Talk about d'oh!

Every time I had set up the network, and it was working really well, and then it all logged off the internet after I had left.

Well, I am of the belief that I hate to disappoint when somebody asked me to do something. I believe I have got to follow it through to the finish. Pity that we have to sleep, and that my friends have to have a life (um yes Lori ... you have to go to bed at some stage, and your friends have to have dinner then go to bed and sleep ready for work tomorrow). So generally it becomes fairly plain when your friend's say just try tomorrow.

So I agreed I would go over there, call up tech support and find out what the whack is going on with this router!!!

I don't install networks on a frequent basis, so this new configuration is giving me a lot of headaches (literally). I remember the last time I had a computer built for somebody their old dial up modem had a conflict with the sound card - man what a pest that was to fix.

And so they keep bringing out new technologies and upgrading standards of protocols and all those fun things that one must learn in order to keep up with the pace of change when building computers and networks for friends.

Um ... I think I will leave upgrading my own home network alone for now ... I am kind of IP addressed and DHCP'd out ... :-)

The Courage to Go On

2010-10-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

An associate of mine has had a heart attack. We were working on a project together, that would benefit children in a school - give them something to do during the break times, so that they could master new skills, improve their social relating, and build their self esteem, and foster greater harmony amongst the student population.

When the students are happy - the teachers can teach better, the job isn't so hard, and people aren't so harried. Having special needs kids myself - I know how tough it is.

My teenager beat me up the other day out of frustration - it is frustrating to teach kids with special needs, it is hard to be parent of kids with special needs - but sometimes we might be the only person in that kid's life who tells them that they are worthwhile.

I am looking forward to some respite tonight - the boys are now back at school, after a hectic school holidays, and hopefully my brain will have some time to recover - or something like that.

When you have a disability yourself, and you have kids with a disability/special needs/learning disorder/medical condition - or if you teach or work directly with these kids - you are going to need to take care of yourself.

If you don't take care of yourself - a big health wake up call will undoubtedly be your body's way of telling you to slow down, get some more sleep, exercise and eat properly.

I was going to grab myself a packet of chips just before ... I thought to myself is this really going to benefit my body in the long run, or am I just going to be a slave to the emotional eating?

I chucked the chips back in the cupboard (they're snack stuff for the kids for school) and then I grabbed some muesli, some yoghurt, some passionfruit pulp and some frozen berries. Why did I bother? Because I am worth it, and I have a duty to myself and my kids to look after and nurture my body.

I am heading off to a training session this afternoon with my hubby - an active date at the gym LOL. Who would have thought little old couch potato me would ever crave the gym? LOL

Take care of yourself, nurture yourself, and find inner strength - I have found my inner strength in Jesus. I just want to share that my believe has very literally saved my life - it wasn't until after I listened to a sermon on taking care of my body by Joyce Meyer that I started down the track to physical wellness.

Do it for yourself, if nobody else.

Having a life and love it, despite having a disability

2010-10-05T01:58:00.000-07:00

I have a tremendous acquaintance whom I had the pleasure of meeting whilst I was participating in a series of community engagement workshop specifically related to improving the quality of life for people with a disability.

Tom* is a testimony to the ability to rise up against life's challenges and prove that having a disability is no barrier to living a full and wonderful life.

Tom is a volunteer - but not just any volunteer - he has been doing this for a period of over 12 years. He has around 38 or more certificates of appreciation, and has volunteered at the Commonwealth Games whilst it was in Melbourne.

Tom is there to lend a hand to anyone whilst he is volunteering. He is a member of the volunteer crew at the local hospital, and shows people around to where they need to go whilst they are on the very large hospital campus.

He is bright, cheery and nothing short of inspiring. He is ready to lend a hand to just about any cause, and he does so with verve and enthusiasm.

Tom the man is a sweet, gentle yet well humoured middle aged man. He is always ready to strike up a cheery conversation and to share with anyone about his collection of over two thousand pens.

He is a passionate advocate and spokesperson for people with disabilities, and shares of various times when he has stood up for even a stranger who was in a vulnerable situation, and advocated for him or her.

Tom is amazing - it is truly inspirational to be within his orbit. He hasn't let his disability stop him - he is highly capable, and takes every opportunity to learn and develop his skills.

It is people like Tom who bring to our attention that the world would be a sorry, sodden place, without such gems like him. People like Tom help us to remember that sometimes the most important things are about not about how much money we earn, what kind of status we have or what kind of house we have. It is in talking to Tom that I am reminded of the joy and the glee of life, whatever it may entail for myself, and for every person on this planet.

Twelve months ago, he had a serious bout of pneumonia, and was in intensive care. He came out of it, and decided to turn his health and fitness around, and he proudly (and well deserving to be proud) shares that he has lost around 60 pounds, and is feeling fit and better than ever.

Tom has the joy of life in him, and he inspires everyone who enters his presence - and as he goes off again to another place where he volunteers, you can't help but smile in appreciation.
(*Name changed for privacy reasons)

How to manage stress through good health and relaxation techniques

2010-10-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

Modern life – it is hectic. There are early rises, long commutes, traffic delays, dealing with people who have a one-sided perspective, bills to pay, trying to stretch the household budget, buying the necessities of life, trying to take care of a family, or yourself, and their schedules, your own schedule. Perhaps there is also the need to take care of an elderly relative, or a child with a disability. There are gifts to buy, birthdays to remember, and trying to keep up with neglected friendships.

No matter which way a person tries to deal with all these things, it is a fact that inherently tied to living in this day and age entails a whole lot of stress. Finding down time and quiet time is next to impossible. Those gorgeous travel magazines with their beautiful island spa havens are ever beckoning – but when will you find the time, let alone the money?

There are however, a number of different things that you can slip almost effortlessly into the daily grind of life that will help ease your frazzled mind and soothe an exhausted body.

The first thing that needs to be taken care of is yourself – in particular your body. If you are kind to your body, your brain will be much more likely to stay in a healthy state, and you will be less likely to be victim to anxiety and depression. The most important three ways of taking care of the body are to (1) get some exercise; (2) eat a healthy diet with lots of variety of different foods – especially foods close to their natural state and (3) to get enough sleep.

Sleep allows the body to regenerate the brain. Proper food nourishes the brain and body, and exercise helps to oxygenate the brain and body, and alleviate the build up of stress hormones. It is difficult to work on all three things at once – so pick one thing and work up towards including all three.

Sleep is particularly important – so trying to get enough sleep will assist in helping reduce your appetite for sugary foods, as the brain craves more energy when it hasn’t had a chance to regenerate overnight. Sleep is the body’s and the brain’s time to heal. If you have too much difficulty getting to sleep, consult your primary health care practitioner, who will be able to assist you. Likewise for healthy diet and getting exercise – see your primary health care practitioner who can clear you before you embark on an exercise program, and if you need dietary advice they are a good place to start.

You needn’t go to much expense to learn how to eat good food and there is no need to go and shell out for a gym membership if you don’t wish to. The local library you will find can be an excellent place to start where you can borrow health magazines, excellent books on healthy cooking and eating, and books, DVDs and videos on exercise.

If you look around too in your local community, there may be walking groups, or you may be able to get a free pass for the local gym – try before you buy.

Work on sleep, diet and exercise primarily – so these will keep you healthy and help maintain immunity against diseases. There are also a number of simple, quick and effective (and frugal) means to relax on a day to day basis, whilst you are madly trying to save up for that island spa retreat holiday.

If you are having trouble getting to sleep, it helps to write it down, then once it is written down, you will find it is then easily gone from your mind.

If you are at work, or in a stressful situation, find some place to sit for no more than a couple of minutes, and perform a quick breathing exercise. You can find a couple of quick and straightforward breathing exercises here: http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/breathing-exercises.

Have you tried aromatherapy? Essential oils are therapeutic goods, so it is advisable to speak to a naturopath or aromatherapist who is able to provide you with blends that are safe for your use and applicable for your particular condition (for example some essential oils cannot be used during pregnancy). Different blends can induce different therapeutic effects on the body – such as peppermint and lavender, which is effective in relieving headaches. Seek professional advice before using these oils, so that you can do so safely and effectively.

Cooking meals in a particular way can help to buy you some time – for example – using a slow cooker means you don’t have to stand over the stove and supervise the meal; it is ready for you at the end of the day. Likewise with casseroles – a bit of preparation, put it into the oven, and set the timer. Then you may be able to afford yourself some opportunity to escape. If you have children who are smaller, it is wise to ensure that somebody is there to supervise them so that they do not go near the oven and to be safeguarded. If you don’t have a partner, enlist a friend to watch the small people in your family. Then you can return the favour at a later time for him or her.

Once you have allotted yourself some time – escape into your own home spa retreat. There are a myriad of different and inexpensive home recipes you can make to indulge the senses and soothe the mind. Try here for some excellent home spa ideas – and they won’t cost you a whole lot either, so you can indulge without the guilt: http://www.spaindex.com/HomeSpa/HomeSpa.htm.

If you don’t fancy making your own home spa recipes, pick up some body treatments from the dollar store. You can often find quality things such as bubble bath, hot sugar body scrubs, hair treatments and other treats such as wooden back scrubbers for a fraction of the cost of the regular stores. Have a look at their catalogues, or pay a trip to the dollar store every now and again, and purchase a couple of inexpensive home spa treatments. You may be quite surprised and delighted at the bargains you can pick up at the dollar store.

A soothing massage also works a treat to ease daily stress. Some health funds cover therapeutic massage, making it more affordable – if you have a health cover package, enquire if this option is available to you. Failing that – you could enlist your partner or a friend to give you a free shoulder massage. You can sometimes purchase inexpensive battery operated vibrating massagers from the electrical goods store. The other option you may have available in your local mall are the two dollar (or similar) shiatsu massage recliner chairs. For a wonderful massage at a bargain price, take your MP3 player along, listen to some soothing music and relax back while the recliner chair does its work, and doesn’t put a dent in your spending plan.

Another way to soothe yourself is to surround yourself with nature. If you can, put some sort of plant life near you while you work, or in your home. If brightens the space, and brings nature nearer to you. Every opportunity you have to get out of a built environment and into the local park and take a stroll, take advantage of that. When you can, take trips to local national parks, and enjoy the breathtaking scenery. There is something incredibly soothing being surrounded by nature.

Water is also a very soothing element. Either taking a long soak, going for a swim, taking a quick shower, or installing a water feature in your garden, or a miniature indoor water fountain will prove a delight to the senses and calming to the nerves.

Another extremely important way of not adding to the already excessive stress of modern life is learning to let go. These include letting go of past mistakes – after all you are only human – be gentle with yourself. Learn from your mistakes, but let go and move on.

Also important is to let go of offenses in relationships – including at work, family relationships and with friends. The other person may have moved on a long time ago, and forgotten the offense, while you still may be nursing the hurt. Nursing the hurt and bitterness is bad for your health. It increases stress hormones in your body, and causes damage to your health. If you are having trouble letting go and moving on, then get some professional counseling to assist you in doing this. If it is a situation at work, your workplace may have an employee assistance scheme where a counselor will help you work through your issues.

Forgiveness is incredibly healing to your mind and your body. It does not mean that you have to let the person do the same thing to you again, or that you condone their behaviour, but it does mean that you can move on, and develop a healthy boundary that can prevent you being in a similar situation in the future.

Learn more about the health benefits of forgiving here: http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/forgiveness.htm

The other way that you can help to relax and de-stress is to reflect on things that you are grateful for, and for things that you have done as successes. It helps to keep a gratitude journal and a success journal, so you can go back over these when stressful times are peaking. Looking back over these helps you put issues into perspective.

Another way to de-stress is to find and enjoy a hobby. Spending time in something that you are good at enjoy is a tremendous way to soothe a stressed out mind. It gives a feeling of accomplishment and pleasure.

Spending time with people who are genuinely interested in your wellbeing. You can quickly work out who your friends are when you are stressed out. Some people are fair-weather friends, only associating with you when it is convenient for them, and or only ever call when they want something of you. Knowing that you are appreciated and that a person just wants to meet up with you for a coffee and a chat, for just the sake of your companionship is reassuring.

Conversely, don’t burden all your issues onto the one person. Friendships are for enjoyment as well, not just seeing each other through the hard times. If things are really getting too hard to bear, and day to day life starts seeming hopeless and you are experiencing increased stress and anxiety, it may pay to go and visit your doctor, or to enlist the help of a professional councilor.

Stress is an inevitable part of modern life, and to attempt to get away from it all together is exceedingly difficult, if not impossible. But by adopting a healthy lifestyle with good nutrition, plenty of rest, exercise, counseling therapy where needed, and an inventory of stress management techniques – stress can be managed, and certainly minimized. You can cope with daily life, and learn to cope well and relax when you need to.

Oh the futility of the human existence without its Creator ...

2010-10-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

Who really wants to just go through the motions of the everyday experience?

Atheism just doesn't cut it for me ... how a person could look at all the complexity, beauty and fearsome things that are here on planet earth ... and all the undiscovered depths of the sea, and the telescopes that we have sent up into space to look at the vastness of space ...

How could one deny the existence of such an amazingly creative and skilful artisan. The very fact that we have life breathed into us and how a foetus survives against such incredible odds to be brought out into the world from such a microscopic scale and then scream his first breath ...

And to think that the Creator sent His only son to redeem us whilst we had turned our backs on the wondrous and merciful, and kind, and beautiful, and just amazing Individual - I am.

He sent His only precious Son, He is and was there from the foundation of the world, and through whom all things were created, and He came here in the form of a small, helpless human being, yet still God - dependent on a woman for His survival, entrusted to the care of a human, and then as His Father watched over Him as he grew in His humanity, and then he ended up being betrayed and slaughtered for all of our sakes.

I choose you Lord, only because You first chose me. You came to redeem me out of the drudgery and slop of the human existence, and out of the quagmire of my disgrace, and only through You am I able to make it through the day; without You there is nothing. For indeed I will write on my hand ... belonging to the Lord. Thankyou, Almighty God, my Father, Daddy, My Lord, My Amazing Saviour Jesus, thankyou for your mercy, grace and unending love. Thankyou that you called us to victory through You. Jesus may your light shine upon this world. Bring it forth ever brighter. My prayer is that every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that You are the Son of the Most High, Ruler of All Nations, King and Merciful Saviour. May Your will be done on this earth, now and until the end of time.

Thankyou for sending The Comforter, My Holy Wonderful Friend, Who provides wisdom and strength and carries me through when the things are so tough I don't feel like I will make it.

I will make it though, because You have given me wings to fly. Through Your redeeming mercy I have come to a place of wonder and awe ... oh to step into Your presence I so desire.

Amen. Do the heavens declare that it is You, only You.

How MMORPGS affect the way people relate to each other

2010-10-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

For thousands of years, humans have been interacting in groups – forming communities who band together in a face to face context – in order to maximize the survival chances of the collective community against the formidable forces of mother nature.

Humans have learned to develop agriculture in order to produce food for the group; humans have learned to specialize in particular provision of a service and or the creation of a product that would benefit all the members of the community. The people within those communities that developed over the centuries have formed relationships where bonds became closer between people. Families were formed out of the basis of those bonds. But it has all happened since the dawn of humanity’s history in the communication style of the face-to-face variety.

Enter the modern age – communication 21^st century style: social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook, and different online communities such as Delphi. Everyone is interacting – though not in the traditional old way of standing right in front of the other person. These days, there is a lot of interaction is done between long lost school friends, and aunts and uncles and cousins across the other side of the world because of these new technologies – which is great – but!

The existence of such virtual support groups as WoW-Widows, where folks claim that they lack any sort of interaction from their partners who play World of Warcraft and other Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGS)– lays foundation to the idea that MMORPGS, and virtual interaction through sites such as My Space, Twitter and Facebook have had some sort of negative affect on at least some part of the human race.

Groups still form in online communities – for example – there is in World of Warcraft - bands of individuals forming together in guilds, whereby they perform various tasks together such as participate in raids, and rewards are distributed amongst the members of the guild. There is privilege to be had, and promotion within groups – such as being appointed as a guild commander, and being asked to run raids. Privileges such as these include being able to access extra goodies from the guild bank – so it pays to be able to interact well online, and rally together the guild members into a team that is successful.

Communicating and relating online isn’t always so straightforward however – and certainly has its challenges to overcome. Take for example the scenario whereby a player who is hearing impaired joins a guild (World of Warcraft for example). He (or she) may have developed an excellent avatar, with impressive statistics and abilities. The player will be accepted into a guild, but upon his (or her) performance during a raid whereby all the other players use a program such as Ventrilo to communicate to each other verbally to play out their various roles and raid strategies in real time – the player with the hearing impairment gets cast aside because the other players have to type to communicate with him, and you can’t play intensively and type a message at the same time. So communication with that player during the raid is effectively cut off. During the next guild leaders meeting, they may discuss at length having to remove that player from the guild due to his (or her) poor performance during a raid.

So because of a lack of an adaptive communication device, other players who are not willing to cut the player with the hearing impairment some slack and assist him (or her) to maximize enjoyment of the game, and a general attitude of win at all cost – a player is thrown out of a guild in an inherently discriminatory and not particularly nice way.

In this way, the MMORPG has pushed the divide between a person with an impairment and people without an impairment that affects their communication even further apart. This is one of the unfortunate ways that has been an effect of how people relate to each other now while participating in a MMORPG.

What about the families whose members are not eating together anymore, because either Dad or Mum say its raid time, and then dinner gets placed down on the computer desk, and the rest of the family goes and sits down on their own, contemplating what is happening to the family dynamic.

There is also the consideration of the new 21^st century version of harassment: cyber bullying. There are policies and procedures being developed in schools, and teachers are going to professional development seminars to learn how to manage the new ways that children are being targeted as victims of bullying.

In the case of a child named Caleb – he at one time was an avid fan and player of the game World of Warcraft. His father keeps trying to convince him to come and play with him, but Caleb refuses. Why does Caleb keep refusing? He refuses because he was repeatedly targeted by a group of players who kept killing his online avatar and “tea-bagging” him (a rather crude virtual way of causing offence whereby the avatar squats over the body of the slaughtered victim). Now he just doesn’t want to play, and his account is left in limbo.

The WoW-widows online support group offers a community of support for people whose partners they consider “addicted” to playing a MMORPG, and they believe that the addiction has had a negative affect on the way that the person and his or her partner now relate.

There have been stories passed around the virtual world of the case where some parents had forgotten to feed their baby and it passed away, because they had been playing a MMORPG for several days straight without a break. There are also the tales of people who don’t bother to get up to go the men’s but use an assistive device to relieve themselves such as an old PET bottle.

Certainly these are extreme examples, but there may be some degree of truth in the fact that for some people, playing a MMORPG has had a negative affect on his or her relationships with friends, family or partners. The MMORPG does tend to be structured in a way that there are always more goals to achieve, more game expansions coming out, higher levels to reach, and more rewards for the keen player.

The extremely keen player who has gone beyond the realm of keen and into addict can be somewhat of a blurry one. Certainly playing a MMORPG in and of itself is not a cause for concern, but if a person is spending all his or her time in a virtual environment, without the interaction of real fellow human beings, he or she may experience some negative consequences as a result of that.

The negative consequences experiences are all as individual as the player and his or her relationships with others are. Some players may be so highly addicted that no longer do they associated or relate to anyone outside of the virtual world, and lose touch with the development of their face to face social skills.

Partners who were formally happy to be with that player may get irate when wishing to spend time with the player, and the player consistently says that they can’t because it is raid night, or “just wait five more minutes because I am in a dungeon,” but that five minutes never comes. Eventually the partner may walk out on that person, or find some other partner to relate to.

Human beings have for so long been relational creatures; for a person to digress from that and isolate oneself into a virtual community with no contact with the outside may have some particularly negative effects. A lack of human touch and contact may leave one unknowingly aware of the negative affects on his or her health – take for example the premature babies, who only thrive and recover when they are held and touched. Gentle touch is reassuring to a person, and helps build immunity and the production of hormones that lead to positive emotion (for example oxytocin – a hormone which encourages bonding between couples or a mother and her newborn)

Humans by nature need to have face-to-face contact with each other and physical contact. Without either of these happening somewhere, sometime all over the world, the human race would die out for lack of people procreating.

So with that consideration – a player of a MMORPG needs to consider that he or she will at some stage need some human contact; or that his or her partner and children and friends will want to associate and have face to face contact with him or her. MMORPGS are certainly a fun and exciting pastime for a great number of people – but when one plays in a MMORPG, and knowing when one needs to log off and sign out of their account, and go relate face to face with their partner, friends and relatives is all in a matter of perspective and balance. Keep the perspective and balance healthy – enjoy interacting in a virtual context, but continue to relate the old fashioned way – face-to-face.

Laugh it up ... fuzzball

2010-10-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh .... Star Wars ... Han Solo and his companion Wookiee.

Han's statement to his companion to "laugh it up," came to my mind as I was sitting down earlier this evening at the local cafe extraordinaire for a rather extravagant indulgence.

My husband and eldest son were skimping on the items they bought - a plate of chips to share between them, a post mix-drink for the teenager, and a regular cappuccino for the love of my life.

I disgusted my husband when I ordered not one but two drinks ... and a slice of lemon and lime cheesecake (mmmmm sublime). Oh yes what about all this talk of health, Lori? Hmmmm yes well I go by the 80/20 rule - 80 percent of the time - make the stuff at home. The other 20 percent of the time well why not go and enjoy that 20 percent. And I did give two thirds of the cheesecake slice to hubby to consume - so let up hey (LOL)

I politely told my husband that if I was going to be economical, I would have gone to McCafe and used my 2 for 1 cappuccino voucher. (Hang on there - they do have lovely coffee - but there are loads of little kids tearing around and I wanted an atmosphere that was a little more sublime).

My most favourite place for an extravagant coffee and cake in the whole world is Angel Cafe - a local cafe with a sublime atmosphere - low lit and decorated in smooth, subdued tones and subtle mood lighting. Big problem - I took my son there, and my husband, who both decided that they were going to argue with me about my decision to be extravagant.

And so, off my hubby goes to the toilet to probably get some time out, after giving me a dressing down about ordering two drinks (oh really! I don't want to decide between two of my favourites so why can't I just have both!!!) whilst he and my son only ordered one each. Then my son started going rambling on about being economical and something about how ice does something in the drink or some such other thing.

Across from our table, there is a man, probably in his mid 30s, and dressed in the local university's alumni association jacket. He was a sole diner - not much of a meal really - a small bowl of chips and a pot of tea. And he leered at my son and I and snickered.

I really did think he was going to choke on his scrimpy meal and pot of tea, he was snickering so hard, and I don't know if he was trying to hide it, but oh man, what a lousy job. He might as well have just launched into a full scale belly laugh.

And so my friends is the joy of dining with a teenage son with Autism, and a wonderful husband (who I think at times may have some fanatical traits himself - but I will keep that just between you and I and the gatepost).

And then he got up and trudged out, and left the three of us there, discussing what a single man was doing in an elegant cafe, eating such a scrimpy meal. My husband concluded that he must have been there for the scenery (um please explain dear?) "the waitresses, Lori - the waitresses." Oh yes, I must admit the waitresses at Angel are very attractive and well groomed.

So did I enjoy my two drinks and 1/3 of a cheesecake? Oh yes indeed. Is it interesting being somebody's else's Saturday evening entertainment? Whatever gets you going man, whatever gets you going.

But guys - I mean really - if I am going to be economical I am going to drive the car in the other direction, or walk even, to McCafe and use the old two for one voucher. Great coffee, but loads of little kids and its loud.

If I want the mood and the experience, and to really lap it up with an indulgence, then by gosh I am going to go down to Angel for some atmosphere and class. And enjoy the best iced coffees and chai lattes in town.

.... so long as you're not doing it every week Lori ... otherwise it just becomes commonplace, and not something to be savoured. And when I do go there, why not do it in style?

*signing off and going to feed my family some barbecued hotdogs and some home-made hot dog burger buns (see I can be economical and cook things from scratch still!!!)*

Please don't think you have to go it alone - parenting a child with Autism

2010-09-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

While a parent is going through the motions of trying to understand why his or her child is the way that he or she is, there is a flurry of emotions ... like a rollercoaster at times. Regret, guilt, anger, depression, grief - mostly negative. Memories of holding your perfectly formed newborn child get hazier by the day while you are running backwards and forwards between therapy appointments, early childhood developmental specialists and clinics, dieticians, early intervention kindergarten, primary care physician appointments ...

The normal day to day issues of parenting are a huge challenge in and of themselves - let alone when you add the diagnosis of a special needs child to the mix.

I spent days in tears, staring out the window, and driving around roundabouts in circles - literally - while crying that I wanted there to be nothing wrong with my beautiful, wonderful son.

On top of that, my youngest son was undergoing testing for medical problems related to his kidneys, for which he had been hospitalised for.

I remember feeling like a complete idiot when going to the early education kindergarten sometimes - the teachers would rouse at me for sending a sandwich that my son didn't like - and sending it in plastic wrap (no wonder I refuse to use the stuff now, I detest it that much). Apparently a cold cut sandwich with some salad on it was an inferior choice.

I was reading all kinds of books on how to feed my toddler and baby healthy food - but apparently my son had kicked up such a stink that they didn't want me to send a salad sandwich.

I got into trouble for not cutting his nails often enough (do you think I could get near him to cut them!!!) and even getting my son's hair washed was a nightmare. Toilet training was yet another huge hurdle to deal with.

Although the teachers are well meaning, and cared very much about their small students, I don't think that unless you spend 24 hours, seven days a week, trying to manage a toddler and a baby (and my own disability as it turned out to be diagnosed a lot later) who were exhibiting developmental delays and strange and challenging behaviours, that you really truly understand how much of a struggle it is.

The biggest mistake I made was to think that I could do it all - alone. I tried my hardest to be a super- mother. I tried going back to work (a massive experience in repeated failures over the years) and ended up burned out and exhausted and depressed, and so forlorn to the point where I was admitted into hospital.

Please don't ever think that you have to try and do it all by yourself - it will wear thin eventually.

One of the loveliest and kindest and most sensible things that the treating psychiatrist told me at the time I was in hospital with a major depressive episode - was that I didn't have to think that I should do it all by myself. He said that it takes a village to raise a child (especially a special needs child). Hilary Clinton really nailed it on the head when she said that.

Part of my exhaustion was due to a sense that I had to be a perfectionist - to have it all, and do it all, thankyou very much. I was full of a sense of self-importance and pride, thinking that I was the only person who understood my children, and that I was the only one capable of giving them the care that they needed. Please don't think that I am trying to replace a mother and father as the most important caregivers that a child (especially one with special needs) has, and forming bonds with parents certainly is very important in a child developing a basic sense of trust in others to supply his or her needs and be taught about the fundamentals of love and affection from the very earliest days of that child's life and onwards.

However, there comes a time, when mothers and fathers (adoptive and foster parents and grandparents-as parents, and guardians too) will need a break from their caring role.

Please don't try to do it all yourself - look what is available in your area. Some organisations have volunteers who will come and visit you and provide mentoring and support. You will probably be able to access respite packages in your local area too.

Talk to your primary health care physician, and he or she can direct you to support services in your area. Find the services that are a best fit for you and your child - and don't feel guilty about getting the service and assistance.

Whatever you do, realise that you have to care for yourself before you can care for your child, and you can do this by enlisting help where you need it, and don't think that you have to go it alone. For your long term health and wellbeing, help is a God send.

*Don't got it alone*

In the quest to save money - don't be cheap

2010-09-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Many buyers think that they may be buying a bargain when purchasing a bargain from an online auction site such as Ebay.

For the most part, by far the majority of purchases are made from reputable sellers selling authentic and good quality merchandise.

However - a purchaser may be unaware that what they are purchasing can be made by bootleggers, and can and does look close to the original.

On closer inspection though - if you compare the original to the fake or bootleg merchandise - you may be quite surprised to discover that even though you have parted with say for example - $20 less than the price that you might have been able to purchase it from a local retailer - that what in fact you have bought is an inferior and substandard product.

Take for example - Nintendo DS games - not able to be copied right? Wrong: have a look at this - A guide to fake DS games sold on Ebay.

The same goes for pirated films, and backyard movie piracy distribution networks - they are downloading shoddy copies, burning them, and then selling them to the unsuspecting buyer. Then the unsuspecting buyer comes home, either inserts the DS cartridge into their DS, or the movie into their DVD player - and the DS game seizes up and crashes the DS, and the movie's sound and picture are really bad quality, and voila - one might as well have just thrown their hard earned money into the bin.

Please do some research before you purchase really cheap merchandise. Not only will you possibly be purchasing a really inferior and pirated copy, but the game developers, movie makers, and local stores are not getting the revenue that they need to continue selling the real thing.

Consider other ways of legitimately purchased the real product by either trading in your old games, going to the large discount stores where they are having a sale, or to the smaller boutique game stores when they are having a sale, or purchasing second hand games from a licensed second hand dealer. Or you have the option of renting your games - try sites such as Rentagame, Get Gaming, or the local video store. For movies try Redbox, Blockbuster (Blockbuster also hire out games and consoles), Bigpond Movies, Netflix etc.

Don't get diddled! And if you have bought one, and try to resell it on Ebay - beware that you may get caught, and get into some serious trouble.

Buyer beware.