Sorry we’ve been gone so long, but … we were gonna quit. We like you guys too much. Well, you and the sound of our own voices. We really like talking, and if we record it, then we can feed our raging narcissism by listening to ourselves over and over and over and over and over and over and over and … you get the point.

Do you have any tattoos? Piercings? scarification? non-medical implants of any kind? Yes? Listen to this episode. If you don’t … I dunno … listen anyway. Does anybody read these? Seriously. Let me know if you even ever see this. I could say some really messed up ish right here, and nobody would know. I could also be sharing the most amazing recipes in the world, but if nobody is around to read them, they’re lost forever.

You want me to give you a recipe? Go to http://www.theaudiobuffet.com and click the Talk Back link at the top of the page, and tell me what kind of food you like. I’ll put a recipe in this section of the next episode. Trust me – I’m from the Internet.

Just a quick episodette (is that a word?) this week. Life was … busy, so you don’t get a full episode. We’re sorry. BUT the good new is you get to listen to Stay Crunchy by the one and only Ronald Jenkees!

It only lasted for 19 months, but the Pony Express left a lasting mark on how we think of the “Wild West” in the American 19th Century.

Which apps you decide to download to your phone say a lot about you. Which do we recommend? Listen and find out.

Are we too dependent on technology? … Ok, spoiler: yes. Yes we are. I was going to spell “dependent” with an “-ant.” The automatic spell checked saved me again. *grumble* Just listen to the episode.

Well, we promised a lighter-hearted episode, so here you go. Geez, did you see the duckling? It doesn’t get any more lighthearted than that guy!

The Trans-Pacific Partnership is a secret international document that will change how the world works in a lot of ways. In this episode, Chris and Jeremy discuss the chapter on Intellectual Property.

We’ve got big stuff coming up next week, folks! Please bear with us as we do our due diligence to this research, so we can bring you the most accurate information we can. See you next Wednesday.

What is a monopoly? Are they bad? Who gets stuck playing as the iron?

Chris and Jeremy take on a few common popular myths:

1. There’s a chemical added to public pools that will turn blue if you pee.

2. There are alligators in the sewers of New York City.

3. You could wake up, but be unable to move or communicate during surgery.

4. Mr. Rogers was a Viet Nam sniper, and wore his trademark cardigan to cover his extensive tattoos.

One of these is true. Can you guess which?

What is laughter? Why do we do it? Are we the only creatures that laugh? Got any good jokes? How about a whoopie cushion?

You gotta love a good fart joke.

This week, we start talking about conspiracies – not the whole wrap-your-head-in-tin-foil-and-live-in-a-cave type of conspiracy though. What we’re interested in (for now) is more of an introduction. Think of this as the syllabus for our Conspiracy 101 class.

This week’s song: “The World is a Very Scary Place” by The Gothic Archies.

… oh Facebook. You silly thing, you.

Welcome back, Jeremy, PLUS … A Special Announcement!

Special guest! Chris’ wife Marybeth weighs in on GMOs. Are they kinda good or kinda gross?

Beer! … and a baby! Wait … it’s not what you think.

This episode had a bunch of silliness. Oh but we do have fun, don’t we?

Do you need a little help with your conversation skills? If so, this isn’t going to help. It WILL however make for some really great stories if you ask some of these questions to complete strangers. Once you’ve reached safety and you’re sure they’re no longer chasing you, be sure to send your stories to theaudiobuffet@gmail.com

We’re taking a brief break from Beerducation this episode to spend some extra time talking about our favorite scientist and inventor: Nikola Tesla.

Outtakes from episode 17

There’s so much money being flushed down the toilet! But if you don’t want to give up your entertainment vices and still need to save some scratch, we’ve got a few solutions for you.

Special thanks to Season and Snare for letting us use their song “I Never Wanted.” Check them out at http://www.SeasonAndSnare.com

Chris has a new side project coming out soon! Gaming fans rejoice.

Special thanks to Saving Throw for letting us use their song parody “Just Give Me a d6” you guys are a ton of fun!

Oh you know … just being silly.

My mind is kind of blown right now. I just realized that we’re releasing episode 15 on 4/15/15. Does the number 15 have any universal significance? Does anyone read these descriptions? go to http://www.theaudiobuffet.com and let me know you’re out there. FIRST TO MENTION MY RANT WINS A PRIZE!

More craziness – This time from episode 14!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Cliched phrases are a dime a dozen. We found a couple fish in a barrel and shot them, but it’s no use crying over spilled milk. That horse is already dead; stop beating it.

Here’s a short one for you this week. Enjoy!

What are some commonly-acted-upon superstitions? Let us know your thoughts! Go to http://www.theaudiobuffet.com … OR … email theaudiobuffet@gmail.com to let us know what you think.

Just getting silly … again. Talking about games and whatnot.

(Yeah, the 3x “hot” was intentional.)

We all played games as kids. Some of those games seemed instinctual – no one needed to tell you the rules; you just KNEW. In this episode, Jeremy and Chris take a look at a few of those essential childhood games.

Apparently in a past life Jeremy was a black female factory worker in the 1960’s Southside Chicago. Yeah, I was just as surprised as you are. Right when you think you know somebody….

Last week, we talked about a few of the movie sequels that actually HELPED the movie franchises to which they belong. This week, we’re doing it again! That’s right, it’s a sequel to our sequels episode! How’s that for meta?

Really though … everybody should be having this much fun.

You can probably list of a whole litany of sequels to movies that are … well … just total and complete crap. They’re so bad, they almost ruin the original. *cough* Lost World *cough*

What about the sequels that DON’T suck though? In this episode, Chris and Jeremy tackle just a few of the few, the proud, the non-sucky.

Just us being silly while recording episode 09.

Beerducation listener mail! After that, the guys discuss the perception and reality of Dungeons and Dragons.

So much silliness while recording episode 8. Here’s some of it.

What exactly is the future of libraries? Are they doomed to go extinct? The guys tackle these questions after a new installment of Beer-ducation.

Oh so very much silliness. We really do have too much fun making this show.

The guys talk about beer first, and then the apocalypse. Perfect pairing, right?

Today we’re starting something new:
Every Saturday following a new episode, we’ll be posting the outtakes from that week’s episode. Let us know what you think!

– Chris & Jeremy
http://www.theaudiobuffet.com