THE B-MOVIE CATECHISM

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 15 May 2013 23:09:00 +0000

THE B-LIST: 5 MOVIES YOU WOULDN’T SUSPECT WERE ADAPTED FROM BOOKS

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:47:00 +0000

For Aleteia this past weekend, I watched the latest film version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s required reading, The Great Gatsby. You know, it’s always interesting watching a movie based on a novel, if for no other reason than to see how a director meets the challenges of bringing certain passages to the screen. And it’s not a problem just for A-listers like Baz Luhrmann, B-movie directors have a hard time of it as well. What’s that you say, you didn’t know bad movies also occasionally started out as books? It’s true, and to prove it, here’s a handful of celluloid hack jobs that once started out as hardbacks.

Carnosaur

Oh yes, believe it or not, the screenplay for Roger Corman’s quicky cash-in on Jurassic Park (so quick it actually managed to come out first) was adapted from the 1984 novel Carnosaur written by John Brosnan under the pseudonym of Harry Adam Knight. Troll around the internet and you’ll be amazed to find a few fans who appreciate Brosnan’s Carnosaur more than they do Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park. However, I think it’s safe to say you’d be hard pressed to find the same for the movies.

Howling IV: The Original Nightmare

Now most people are aware that Joe Dante’s classic 1981 werewolf flick The Howling was based on a book, but what only the people who actually read Gary Brandner’s 1977 novel realize is that Dante’s final screenplay bears no resemblence whatsoever to the source material except for the idea of werewolves running around somewhere in California. It wasn’t until the 1988 direct-to-video sequel that Brandner’s original storyline finally appeared onscreen. Although gorehounds fondly remember the movie for the scene in which a man melts into a puddle of goo and reforms as a werewolf, most fans of the Bradner’s book probably feel the movie wasn’t worth the wait.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Probably the most successful of the Scream knock-offs, the Kevin Williamson penned I Know What You Did Last Summer was actually an adaptation of the 1973 Young Adult novel of the same name written by prolific YA author Lois Duncan. Just like many an ashamed actor, it seems the Young Adult genre has a few slashers in its past.

Slugs

They Slime... They ooze... They kill... and they did it in Shaun Hutson’s 1982 novel six years before Juan Piquer Simón’s cult classic hit the big screen. Slugs was just one of many killer animal books to hit the spinner racks back in the 70s/80s, a fun mini-genre that included such gems as Guy N. Smith’s killer crab series and James Herbert’s mutant rats saga, both of which also saw low budget film adaptations.

Night of the Lepus

And finally, as hard as it may be to imagine, the story which inspired everyone’s favorite 1972 flick featuring Dr. McCoy battling a horde of giant-sized hares first appeared in Russell Braddon’s 1964 novel, The Year Of The Angry Rabbit. As silly as the movie is, the book was sillier, going so far as to include an Australian prime minister hell bent on taking over the entire world using behemoth bunnies.

There’s many more such treasures, but that should be enough to have you searching the shelves of your local used book store for something to take with you to the beach this summer. I suppose some of you might opt for a classic like The Great Gatsby instead, but hey, some people are just weird that way.

Of course, who says you have to choose one way or the other? Why not have both? If you haven’t lined up your summer reading just yet, why not check out a few sites where you can find a little bit of everything for all tastes. Tucked among the tomes on The Happy Catholic Bookshelf, you’ll find everything from books on church architecture to the weird worlds of Philip K. Dick. For those with kids, The Catholic Book Blogger has a number of suggestions. And if you just want some old fashioned genre goodness, the Christian Science Fiction & Fantasy Blog Tour offers a monthly discussion on some of the more interesting book selections out there.

Or you could just do what I do most of the time and wait for the movie to come out. That works too.

THE B-LIST: FOUR MOVIE MOMS WORTH MENTIONING

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Sun, 12 May 2013 20:22:00 +0000

It’s Mother’s Day, so there’s going to be lots of lists out there covering the best and worst moms the movies have to offer. For the more mainstream choices, Steven D. Greydanus’ top ten moms over at Catholic Digest is as good a place as any to start. But given the kinds of stuff we watch around these parts, we thought there might just be a few movie moms deserving of honors who’ll probably get overlooked by those other lists, ladies like…

Diane Freeling from Poltergeist

Sure, she’s got a bad habit or two left over from the late 60s, but when all is said and done, there’s a reason Mrs. Freleng is in the foreground in this image. Amidst all the madness going on in their household, Diane is the glue that holds the Freleng clan together. She knows when to be sensitive and hold a funeral for a dead bird and she knows when to get tough and demand her husband be a man. Plus, she’s quick to jump into another dimension if that’s what her children need from her.

Maureen Robinson from Lost In Space

The simple fact that she patiently managed to keep everyone from murdering Dr. Smith for all those years should be enough to qualify Mrs. Robinson for sainthood, but throw in the fact that she was also a biochemist, expert gardener, and expert tracker (How many times did those freakin’ kids run off, anyway?), and there’s no doubt that Maureen was the real deal when it came to motherhood.

Amanda Grayson from Star Trek

There are few more admired figures in science fiction than Mr. Spock, but like many a successful man, there’s a good mother behind him. Amanda was the one who was always there for Spock during all those tortuous years in which classmates bullied the boy for his mixed heritage and his father expressed little more than disappointment in his progress. And her love for her son never wavered once, even despite the fact that his training prevented him from ever telling her that he loved her back. But a mother knows.

Gorgo from Gorgo

Sure, the overprotective single mother is something of a cliché, but it’s not so without its reasons. And who could be a better example of how far a mother will go to protect her child than Gorgo? Nobody takes her baby unless they want their city flattened when she comes to take him back. And you can tell it’s an act of love rather than one of vengeance because once she finds her little boy, the destruction stops and they simply go home. And I’ll bet the kid probably got time out for wandering to far from home to begin with. Gorgo seems like the type not to shy away from discipline.

That’s our quick list. Let us know of any others that come to mind.

Until nest time, Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there. May Saint Monica intercede for you, so that you may continue to draw your children to God and forever remain close to them, even the prodigal sons and daughters who have sadly gone astray. Amen.

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Thu, 09 May 2013 02:19:00 +0000

THE B-LIST: QUESTIONABLE MUSICAL MOMENTS #14 – MARVEL HEROES THEME SONGS

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Mon, 06 May 2013 20:13:00 +0000

Just like half the population of the world (I’m not sure that’s an exaggeration), I went to see Iron Man 3 this past week. You can find out what I thought over at Aleteia. You know, it’s hard to believe ol’ shell head and his fellow Avengers are among the biggest box office draws in the world right now, especially when you consider the quality of the first efforts to bring The Marvel Super Heroes to life back in the 1960s. Anybody remember these intros for the big four…

Yeah, so definitely not up there with the original 1960s Spider-Man theme, but then again, what is? Still, if you consider that each piece is only about 20 seconds long, you have to admit they pack a lot of information in there. Take Iron Man for instance…

Tony Stark makes you feel
He’s a cool exec with a heart of steel.

As Iron Man, all jets ablaze,
He’s fighting and smiting with repulsor rays!

Amazing armor! That’s Iron Man!
A blazing power! That’s Iron Man!

In twenty seconds and six lines you get the basic concept of the character. Not too shabby. It makes me wonder if there’s a way to do that for Christianity. Not the music part, mind you, we get enough bad tunes at mass as it is (oh what, like I’m the first person to ever say it). But is there a way to communicate the fundamentals of the faith in a sound byte?

Well, there’s always the words spoken at the presentation of the Eucharist during mass…

Behold the Lamb of God, behold him who takes away the sins of the world. Blessed are those called to the supper of the Lamb.

Or maybe the ubiquitous John 3:16…

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.

I don’t know. Any ideas out there on how to explain Christianity in only a handful of words? How about if you’re trying to include an explanation of the Church as well? Let me know what you think. Music optional.

WEEKLY NEWSREEL

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Mon, 06 May 2013 14:33:00 +0000

Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea, welcome to another edition of the Newsreel. This week, we have a trio of stories with a surprisingly common thread. What is it? Read, and see. And with that tease, it’s off to press…

DATELINE: SRI LANKA – Scientists working in Southern Asia have apparently discovered a new species of tarantula the size of a human face. Fortunately, none of the tarantulas found in Sri Lanka have proven to have bites deadly to humans. Unfortunately, the enormous arachnids have been known to enter dwellings due to massive deforestation in the area. Consequently, the benefits of a non-fatal bite seem somewhat diminished by the potentiality of heart attacks caused by finding a Giant Spider As Big As Your Freakin’ Face sitting in your living room!

DATELINE: BOULDER – Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, scientists at The University of Colorado-Boulder have potentially solved a question once thought unanswerable (or is it just that nobody ever cared to ask), why do so many people find things like fart jokes and people getting kicked in the crotch funny? Studies have now determined that the average person only enjoys inappropriate/gross-out humor when the incongruous subject matter (an action or event violating moral or social norms) results in a benign outcome (no permanent damage to anyone). Most people, it would seem, have a crude streak, but they’re not monsters. Culture, it appears, also plays a part. "It's hard to find a comedy that's funny cross-culturally, because the ways that violations can be benign differ from culture to culture," says study co-author Peter McGraw. "The comedy that is funny cross-culturally tends to involve a lot of physical humor.” So heads up, aspiring filmmakers, if you want to make them laugh in China (and they’re the ones funding your films these days), avoid Woody Allen style dialog and have your actors punch each other in the cajones instead.

DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD – And finally, after years of being considered a Hollywood myth, it now appears possible to demonstrate that cars actually can explode when shot with a single bullet just like you see in the movies. It turns out that this reaction is somewhat akin to the explosions which occasionally occur at flour and sugar factories when heated metal shavings float through the air and come in contact with inert gases. Obviously, the perfect storm of ingredients required for such an explosion means that such events won’t happen as frequently as they do in the movies, but they can still happen. Looks like Roger Corman might have been on to something after all.

So what do these three stories have in common? Not much, really. Well, except maybe that they illustrate scientists doing what scientists should. Science. In none of these stories is there any indication of researchers making any Dawkins-esque leaps of fancy that their discoveries have anything to say about religion, or the fact that they can pick up a test tube somehow disproves the existence of God. These studies simply tell us something about the physical world we live in, which is all we really want them to do anyway. Or as G. K. Chesterton put it, “In these days we are accused of attacking science because we want it to be scientific. Surely there is not any undue disrespect to our doctor in saying that he is our doctor, not our priest… I want my private physician to tell me whether this or that food will kill me. It is for my private philosopher to tell me whether I ought to be killed.”

So kudos to these scientists for doing their job and leaving religion to the experts. The more scientists like them, the more we’ll get results like this…

Scottish nutritionists have developed pizzas said to contain 30% of an adult's guideline daily amount of vitamins and minerals. That means if you eat their pizza for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you’ll get all the nutrients you need. Pizza all day long, now that’s science we can all get behind.

And with that, we leave you until next time, closing the Newsreel, as is our custom, with the immortal words of the great Les Nessman. Good evening, and may the good news be yours.

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Thu, 02 May 2013 01:36:00 +0000

SHORT FEATURE: CARMAGEDDON GONE YAKETY

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 04:20:00 +0000

So, over at Aleteia this weekend I spent some time with Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain. Ultimately there were a few things which kept me from completely liking it, but I have to give the film its due. Bay has finally made a movie with some honest to goodness real ideas in it. Weird, I know. I’m willing to bet that when you think of Michael Bay, the first thing that probably comes to mind is something more along the lines of this…

Okay, so that was… pointless… stupid… silly? Yeah, all of those. But it makes me laugh every time I watch it, and as Proverbs 17:22 points out, “a joyful heart is the health of the body.”

Plus, as Father James Martin notes in an interview with Our Sunday Visitor, with all the bad stuff going on these days, now is a pretty good time to hold onto our sense of humor and joy. “First, it’s important to have a sense of humility and poverty of spirit. Second, humor helps us get along with people. Humor is a natural social element that is an essential part of human interaction. Third, to gain some perspective. The saints used humor as a tool in their quest for humility and also as a way of gaining some perspective on their place in the universe. And finally, as Archbishop Timothy Dolan has said, ‘Happiness attracts.’ Why would anyone want to join a group of miserable people? It also communicates our belief in the Resurrection. We’re living in Easter time now — Christ has risen. The disciples ran with joy to see the risen Lord. They didn’t mope around.”

So find something to make you smile today. It probably won’t be a Michael Bay film, but I’m sure there’s something else out there.

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:24:00 +0000

THE B-LIST – THE TOP 6 WORST PLACES TO BE BURIED

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:06:00 +0000

While recently reading through the Catechism in one year as a part of the Year of Faith (Day 185 to be precise), I ran across a quote from St. Monica regarding the handling of her mortal remains after her approaching death. “Put this body anywhere!” she said, “Don't trouble yourselves about it! I simply ask you to remember me at the Lord's altar wherever you are.” The good lady said this because she understood, as the Catechism explains, that “the Eucharistic sacrifice is also offered for the faithful departed who ‘have died in Christ but are not yet wholly purified,’ so that they may be able to enter into the light and peace of Christ.” So, saint or no saint, Monica was taking the possibility of time in purgatory seriously and wanted to make she was covered in case of that outcome.

Still, I have to wonder if she would have been quite so nonchalant about her body’s resting place if she had seen some of the movies I have. Here are some of the worst places in cinema history to be buried.

1. Buffalora Cemetery from Cemetery Man (1994)

Sure, we Christians believe in a bodily resurrection, but we prefer to wait until Jesus comes back around before we get to it. At Buffalora, you’re barely in the ground before you’re back up and looking for a quick snack… of human flesh!

2. The pet cemetery from Pet Sematary (1989)

Pretty much the same situation as Buffalora, except you have the added olfactory displeasure of waking up next to a bunch of dead cats.

3. Morningside Cemetery from Phantasm (1979)

Still, being a zombie isn’t the worst thing you could come back as. If you have the misfortune to be laid to rest at Morningside, there’s a strong possibility the Tall Man will dig you up and compress your body into that of a mindless inter-dimensional dwarf. Then he’ll dress you up like a Jawa.

4. Cuesta Verde Estates from Poltergeist (1982)

While being dug up is no fun, getting to stay in the ground is no picnic in a horror film either. There’s always the chance some land developer will decide to build a subdivision on top of you, requiring your ghost to cause a little ruckus to get them to leave.

5. Midian from Nightbreed (1990)

And if it’s not the humans moving in, it’s the monsters. The main problem with having a bunch of mutants build a city underneath your gravesite is that the local backwoods militia won’t like it, and they always seem to have a few rocket launchers sitting around.

6. The unnamed cemetery from Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Now you’d think the problem here would be the aliens running around trying to resurrect the dead for their own evil purposes, but that’s not really it. The problem is all the cheap cardboard tombstones. We pay you guys thousands of dollars for a site and a marker and that’s all we can expect? Put a little effort into it, why don’t you?

Oh well, it’s all temporary after all.

SHORT FEATURE - THE APOCALYPSE

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 05:37:00 +0000

It was double duty time over at Aleteia again this past weekend as I watched Oblivion, the post-apocalyptic epic starring Tom Cruise, and HBO’s Girls, a show full of stupid people doing stupid things.

It got me to thinking, wouldn’t it be great if there was a movie featuring both the apocalypse AND stupid people. Well, I guess Seth Rogen thought the same thing, because This Is The End comes out in June. But then I thought, wouldn’t it be great if there was one I could watch right now. Well, guess what, somebody already took care of that as well. Feel free to take a look, but be warned, there will be blood.

That doesn’t seem quite fair does it? Who knew a single thought could get you into so much trouble? Well, maybe Jesus did. Remember, he’s the guy who said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Thankfully he didn’t follow that up with, “And when that happens, their heads will explode!” That’s because, instead of setting up a sudden death scenario, Jesus was reminding us that God’s laws aren’t just about external compliance. They’re meant to be internalized, effecting a transformation of the inner person. And fortunately, he gives us time to work on that change instead of immediately having our heads pop whenever we have a bad thought. I, for one, appreciate that.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 04:57:00 +0000

Unfortunately, work has kept me from heavy blogging this week, but I did manage to take in two movies for Aleteia over the weekend. First I saw 42, the Jackie Robinson biopic with very little actual Jackie Robinson in it (still liked it though), and then I watched To The Wonder, which is Terrence Malick at his most Malicky.

But enough of all that drama, how about something more along the lines of what’s usually found around these parts, like say a thriller. For that, look no further than Romish Graffiti where Scott W. has some things to say about The Tall Man, a movie that knows what’s better for your children than you do.

They just don’t make’em like they used to, do they? Maybe that’s why Paul D. Miller over at Schaeffer's Ghost is reminiscing about Raiders of the Lost Ark and its depiction of the all consuming fire that is God.

Of course, some people don’t want to make them like they used to, and that doesn’t sit too well with Micah Murphy. At Truth & Charity, Micah explains why he’s had about enough of revisionist fantasy novels where the bad guys from earlier works are reimagined as poor put-upon innocents, compelling him to ask the question, “Who Hijacked My Fantasy Genre?”

And finally, as you may remember, a couple of weeks back we had a pretty good debate going on here at the B-Movie Catechism about ethics and zombies. One question we never asked, though, is “why isn't Jesus a zombie?” Louis Sullivan takes some time to answer that at Busted Halo.

Anyway, that should keep you busy until I get back into the swing of things here. See you then.

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 13:15:00 +0000

STILL VOICES

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 03:44:00 +0000

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 04:32:00 +0000

THE B-LIST: QUESTIONABLE MUSICAL MOMENTS #13 – EVIL DEAD THE MUSICAL

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 05:54:00 +0000

Believe it or not, my assignment this week over at Aleteia was to review the new Evil Dead movie. Hey, it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it, right? Now what some people forget is this is not the first time Sam Raimi’s cult classic has been reimagined. But that’s understandable, I suppose, because about the only way to see the previous reboot was to take a stroll down to your local community theater…

Ah, poor Annie. Oh well, not everyone is called to be in a relationship after all. The Catechism points out that “single men and women [can] embrace the gift of celibacy while living alone, with a family or with others who are single,” and that by doing so, “they are able to devote time and energy in service of others, and may serve in their parish community or in the Church in a number of different ways.” So buck up Annie, not everybody has to have a man. In your case, I’d seriously consider the celibate lifestyle. The male population would be most grateful.

IMITATING MARY (IS MY HOMEGIRL)

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 18:43:00 +0000

HOW I REACT WHEN THE CHOIR BREAKS OUT THE MARACAS

Like many of you I’m sure, one of my favorite new blogs is Mary Is My Homegirl, so I know you’ll understand that when I ran across this GIF I just had to give it a try. If you haven’t already, be sure to head over to Mary Is My Homegirl where this kind of thing is done much better on a daily basis.

SHORT FEATURE–CARGO

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:55:00 +0000

Just in case anybody out there is having Walking Dead withdrawals now that season 3 is over with, here’s a sweet (no, seriously) little zombie short to tide you over.

“In children we have a great charge committed to us. Let us bestow great care upon them, and do everything that the Evil One may not rob us of them.” - St. John Chrysostom

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 18:14:00 +0000

And the quality exegesis you’ve come to expect from The B-Movie Catechism continues.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 04:30:00 +0000

Over at Aleteia this last week, I got to spend some more quality time with The Rock, this time as he suits up to take on the evil forces of Cobra in G.I. Joe Retaliation. Sure, it sounds bad, but I was the lucky one. While I got to watch the weekend’s box office winner, Jennilee Miller over at Schaeffer’s Ghost chose the opposite route and sat through the unmitigated bomb that was The Host. Strangely, amidst the near universal hatred of the movie (an incredible 11% at Rotten Tomatoes, that’s career ruining numbers folks), Ms. Miller still managed to find in the story an oddly compelling argument for upholding pro-life beliefs.

Speaking of strange, for those who watched the History Channel’s epic miniseries, The Bible, Entertainment Weekly notes that some weird things happened on set during the filming. And as long as we’re on the subject of television, why not stop by Romish Graffiti where Scott W. continues his trek through the wilds of Netflix streaming with a look at the short lived series The Chicago Code, then head on over to Acts of the Apostasy where LarryD laments how same sex marriage is ruining his beloved Doctor Who.

In other somewhat television related news, over at The American Catholic Donald R. McClarey continues his survey of onscreen portrayals of Pontius Pilate with one we just had to mention, famed TV star Telly Savalas. You know, I admit the man may have played a cool cop on Kojac, but in the movies he was just plain vicious. Not only did he order the death of Christ (The Greatest Story Ever Told) and kill the wife of James Bond (On Her Majesty's Secret Service), but he finally just up and appeared as Satan himself (Lisa and the Devil). Who loves you, baby? Not Telly if he was in a movie.

But enough of all that silliness, how about some porn? Well, sort of. Okay, truth be told, none at all. Really, it’s just Patrick Archbold spending some time at Creative Minority Report wondering if the existence of porn actually causes Hollywood to produce cleaner mainstream movies.

And finally, there’s no religious content involved, but there’s no way I could not mention that MANOS: The Hands of Fate video game app is finally available for Android devices. I’ve just side loaded it to my Kindle Fire, so if you don’t hear from me for awhile, you’ll know why.

THE WALKING DEAD: WHEN IS IT OKAY TO BLOW YOUR OWN BRAINS OUT?

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 05:33:00 +0000

Okay, so the chances of a real zombie apocalypse happening are pretty slim, but if it did it would raise some interesting questions for Christians. For instance, on tonight’s season finale of The Walking Dead, one of the characters who has been with the show since episode one finally gets bitten, and instead of making someone else kill them after they turn, asks for a gun so they can put a bullet through their own head.

In a non-zombie filled world, and assuming there are no mental issues involved, blowing your own brains out would be a clear case of suicide. And as the Catechism points out, this is clearly not allowed because “suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God. If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.”

But what about once you add zombies to the equation? In the world of The Walking Dead, unless you manage to chop off the compromised limb within a minute or so, a zombie bite is a guaranteed death sentence. And in the case of tonight’s episode, the character in question was bitten in the neck, so amputation was not an option. That means without a doubt this character was going to die, turn into a zombie, and immediately attack any living person in the room. So, under those circumstances, was it moral or immoral for this character to take their own life?

Alas, as much as I’ve searched, I can’t find anything addressing zombie apocalypse ethics in the Catechism, and I don’t suppose we’re going to a bishop’s ruling on this question anytime soon. That being the case, I’ll go ahead and take a shot at it (so to speak) myself. According to the Catechism, “The object, the intention, and the circumstances make up the "sources," or constitutive elements, of the morality of human acts. The object chosen is a good toward which the will deliberately directs itself… In contrast to the object, the intention resides in the acting subject. Because it lies at the voluntary source of an action and determines it by its end, intention is an element essential to the moral evaluation of an action… [however] a good intention (for example, that of helping one's neighbor) does not make behavior that is intrinsically disordered, such as lying and calumny, good or just. The end does not justify the means… The circumstances, including the consequences, are secondary elements of a moral act. They contribute to increasing or diminishing the moral goodness or evil of human acts (for example, the amount of a theft). They can also diminish or increase the agent's responsibility (such as acting out of a fear of death). Circumstances of themselves cannot change the moral quality of acts themselves; they can make neither good nor right an action that is in itself evil.”

So let’s see. If I’m reading things correctly, in this situation the intention is to protect others, which is inarguably a good thing, however, the moral object (the end towards which the chosen act is inherently directed) would be the extinguishing of one’s own life, which is a grave sin. I’d say the circumstances obviously diminish the culpability of the person pulling the trigger, but are they enough to make the action a moral one? Before we make a decision, let’s throw in one more wrinkle. The Catechism has this to say about defense. “Legitimate defense can be not only a right but a grave duty for one who is responsible for the lives of others. The defense of the common good requires that an unjust aggressor be rendered unable to cause harm.” Given that, perhaps the first question to answer is, since returning as a zombie would obviously endanger others, could shooting yourself in the head actually be considered a legitimate act of defense of others, or would it still be considered suicide (and therefore immoral) because there’s always the possibility someone else could finish off your zombified corpse before it harms anybody?

Well, I’m not the Pope, but in this case, I think that personally I would rather err on the side of mercy and say that if someone in that particular circumstance felt it necessary to take their own life for the safety of the group, God would probably go easy on them. He tends to do that after all.

So, anybody got any ideas on this one?

PULP CATHOLICISM

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:14:00 +0000

SHORT FEATURE: EXTINCT PINK

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 13:32:00 +0000

So this week for Aleteia I reviewed The Croods, a movie I felt managed to pull a last minute save and extract itself from the near-omnipresent “children know best” theme found in most other animated features these days. Be warned, however, premier Catholic movie critic Steven D. Greydanus had very much the opposite reaction. But regardless of which side you choose, if there’s one thing we can all agree was missing from The Croods, it would probably be dinosaurs. Oh sure, I realize that since The Croods are an even more modern stone age age family than The Flinstones, they’ve got to be historically accurate and can’t have cavemen running around with sauropods. But still, weren’t cartoons much more fun when the facts didn’t matter…

Of course, there are some folks out there who believe the occasional mentions of dragons, leviathans, and behemoths in the bible indicate the possibility of dinosaur-like creatures running around in ancient times. The majority of modern theologians, however, tend to accept the current scientific theory that dinosaurs predated the appearance of humans and that those creatures in the bible were something else entirely.

Which leads to an interesting question for Christians, assuming current theories are correct, why did God bother creating dinosaurs to begin with? The short answer is, we just don’t know. From a pragmatic standpoint, it could just be simply that in order for a world to develop where humans could exist, maybe something like the dinosaurs were necessary to help get the place ready. Heck, there’s still things floating around today that we haven’t discovered yet, but they’re part of an ecosystem somewhere. So there’s that idea.

But since God works on any number of levels simultaneously, Michelle Arnold, apologist for Catholic Answers, postulates some possible philosophical reasons behind the existence of dinosaurs, notions such as:

“Dinosaurs teach that there is such a thing as universal death, which is one of St. Thomas Aquinas's five arguments for the existence of God.”

“Dinosaurs teach the possibility of life after death. There may be no dinosaurs currently inhabiting our world, but, in a certain sense, they live on today -- in our imaginations, in our scientific studies, in our hope that we may one day see such extraordinary creatures in the next life.”

“The existence of dinosaurs forces believers to more deeply understand their religion and thus more deeply understand God's hand at work in the world. Questions of the creation of the universe are thrown into a new light and we are forced to re-assess the merit of apparently simple understandings of divine revelation through the Church and the Bible.”
“The existence of dinosaurs forces unbelievers to re-assess their rejection of God that may be based at least partly upon the fact that they have not seen him with their own eyes. The fact that there are created beings that we know existed only because of the remnants of their lives that have been uncovered point to the existence of a God who can be known through the use of reason if one is willing to look at the "fossil record" of creation.”

So we’ve got lots of ideas, but in the end, the real reason for dinosaurs is just another one of those mysteries we probably won’t get the answer to while we’re in this world. And that’s fine. After all, the Catechism reminds us that there are “insurmountable limits that man, being a creature, must freely recognize and respect with trust.” And when those instances pop up, “Man is [to be] dependent on his Creator, and subject to the laws of creation and to the moral norms that govern the use of freedom.”

And as for my desire to see men (or pink panthers for that matter) square off against dinosaurs, well, we’ll always have Jurassic Park won’t we?

CUTAWAYS: THE THREE AMIGOS

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 05:26:00 +0000

Day 162 of reading through the Catechism in one year as a part of the Year of Faith has rolled around, and this little nugget popped up. “God speaks to man through the visible creation. The material cosmos is so presented to man's intelligence that he can read there traces of its Creator. Light and darkness, wind and fire, water and earth, the tree and its fruit speak of God and symbolize both his greatness and his nearness.” Of course, I understand that the Catechism is speaking about hearing and seeing God in nature much in the same way you recognize an artist’s hand in a painting. But still, wouldn’t it be neat if we really could hear what nature was saying…

Hmm, probably better to just skip all that and keep reading the traces like God intended in the first place.

GREAT, ANOTHER TWIT

noreply@blogger.com (EegahInc) — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 03:23:00 +0000

Because what the world needs now is one more person on Twitter, I’ve decided to sign up and bore people with random movie quotes, instantaneous rants about whatever I’m watching, and other unnecessary things. Feel free to add me to your already cluttered Twitter feed. You can sign up in the sidebar. Actually I decided to go ahead and join up after Pope Francis followed Benedict VXI’s lead and started to send out tweets. It’s just kind of neat to look at my phone and see the occasional inspirational quote from His Holiness. So, that’s one more begrudging step I take into the modern era. Still not going to buy a Blu-Ray player though, not gonna do it.

Speaking of twits.