The resistance ,

2011-05-29T04:57:00.004+08:00

A week in Selayang,

I made a conclusion before having the story,
why those sadness keep bugging me until I denied that I'm happy.
The tears being close to me like love watching me suffering from the pains. ;'(

Hello. Let me just put those sad stories into the box and throw them away. Thank you dear soulmate and bestfriends that let me share the pain inside. You guys like the best friends that willing to lean your shoulder for me to cry on.

and Hello. I cried out like I never cried before, I touched. I can't handle it because I don't want to leave them.
Today, the memories will be keep in my heart because it just too special for me. Eventho I just wanna scream and let the God know that I'm begging youuu to turn bck the unreturn time ! because I forgot something. My bad. ;(
sayang, thank you so much. Words can never describe how much I Love You.
and I have a new hair cut !

2011-05-21T21:14:00.004+08:00

Today is saturday 21st may 2011

Assalamualaikum and hello beautiful creatures,
first of all I was touched by the news of sadness today.
May Allah bless and give the best for them.

we have to realize that every sadness that comes to us may make us nearer to the happiness. This is so true because it's happened to me like loads of time, but how if when we live in happiness for all times? where is the sadness ?

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY ON 19TH MAY 2011
heyyy, I'm nineteen.
what's the best being nineteen?
I gain more and more love from them ♥
I thank my mother for having me last 19 years and she was happy so, standing as a matured nineteen years old lady today, I will give her happiness till the end of my life. Thank you ma and I love you more than anyone else because who next after ALLAH ? MY MOTHER :)

so, on 18th may thank you to my senior, Izzarul for the treat with movie FIVE FAST
and Thank you dear Nazlia for skyping and this <3

but honestly I was touched by you and I really cry on my birthday. Don't said like that anymoreeee !
then, Thank youu sayang for that night even you LAMBAT :') It's okay I tak demand banyak sangat pun asal you ingat cukup. *ayat macho
and thank youuu for a tons of wishes, I really do appreciate it :)
and last, Thank you girlfriends AZA MIZA and MIRA.
Thanks for the dayyy watched INSIDIOUS where there's only a few ppl in the hall and we were 4 in the center and having our movie soooo damn enjoyable.
Thumbs up for the movie :) and thank youuuu for belanja I haha

2011-05-18T22:01:00.000+08:00

Just a simple post.

deep breathe. I feel down. heart feeling sucks.
get away please.

2011-05-18T05:08:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum :')

oh bak kata Maria Elena, tak jawab dosa, jawab sayaaaang <3

okay, what about today ? I mean last night. because of feeling boring, I made up my mind at least to go out to feel the fresh air. * not that fresh lah kan.
went to buy stuff and came back home and start painting :)
I'll upload the paint after it get done. wee
talking about painting, hey the paint splashing out to my face and yeah my dad's too. HAHA. I was scolded by him, and yeah I get free mask for skin tanning. cool ? dah lah cat hitam hahaha

next, before I go to my dreams land, I just wanna say that could anyone please stop the time now and I mean right now cause I don't want to get olderrrrr. ;')

p/s : hey, sweeet gay yang perasan mcm jacob pergi tido lah. :D

2011-05-17T02:23:00.003+08:00

Hello and assalamualaikummm,
although today is not so a good day or should I spell the word B O R I N G ?
but as a positive thinker, it was calm day lying in my bed and do normal stuff.
lying in my bed in my home, wasn't that heaven ?
Today, I just wanna shout to you that I love you dear Allah :)
you gimme the taste of life that full of mysteries. I know I'm not as resistance as my blogspot but I know I will be stronger each day because of you, Allah.

and last I love you S :')
p/s : my hair are long enuff for the new transformation . <3

2011-05-16T04:04:00.003+08:00

Dear blogie,
I know you're resistance enuff to listen to my creepy stories.
I hope you're stronger than me dear blogie.
help me blogie !

I've fallen. fallen for the first and long love that I lost.
I don't want to but I just CAN'T denying the facts.
I try hard too deny over and over again until my heart was hurt.
pity my heart, but I'm moving forward ignoring this and that, ignoring the other stories that seems so heartless. and I'm hurt. I'm telling you this, I'm hurt and I don't want this. Listen enuff, I heard your explanations but it differ than what I see.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH but I don't want this to happen because my heart say it'll not happening. BECAUSE . . .

I don't know the real truth from you,
I just can't trust you anymore,
you're the first one who hurt me
and you're the first one I love,
you seem lost in your life. you want more.

but
I can't leave you and I don't want us to be far apart.
I need you to be here by my side as my closest one even not as hmm.
but I don't mind because I love you and I don't expect anything and hopes nothing on you because I knew you and you knew me.
but seriously, I hate that I love you.

hey heart, can you just give some space for the other to come in ? can you ?
I just don't want you to suffer the pain because it is not worth it.
I know you love him, but you have to know love not exactly to make one you love become yours.
Just be thankful, he's here from the old time and now comforting you.
Thank you, but I just want you to know that you're the first. :')

2011-05-16T03:39:00.003+08:00

A verrryyyy goood to have you with me, ridsect .

okay actually this post is somehow to show that I'm a lil freak that afraid of a small lil monster, LIPAS.

WARNING : JUST KEEP ME AWAY FROM THIS MONSTER

phewwww, as you knew this is my greatest weakness. not to mention screaming all day long but it will be extra funny when I will mumble up and crying. crying out loud and jumping to the highest places I could and starting to shout calling for my mumma.
Oh, that's is so not cool because it's making me tense up and my world just suck with you, lil Coc- roooaach ! eww
Thank god, I've no heart attack because err I bet you know what I feel.

Talking bout this monster,
when I was having dinner with S at somewhere in Kmpg Baru.
well, S went to the toilet and left me alone eating and enjoying the movie.
BUT suddenly this lil monster came from far I just can smell his 'perfumeee'.
Straight looking at my right, there he is. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww that lil monster just running around and lucky S come fast and I was pale and weirdly looking at him and said ' lililipaaassss' , and haa he was laughing. SELEKEH.
I decided to change to another table. yesss, feel a lil bit better but still looking at the back just wondering where that monster was.

end.

another one was, this lil pest are encouragingly breed their new generation and my room is their strategic habitat since I've the balcony where it is the transit for them to come into my room. ANNOYING LIL MONSTER ! well, I just can't survive this where I become totally tense up and dizzy and not comfort at all and mess up and I DON'T HAVE MOOOOD AT ALL YESTERDAY BECAUSE OF THIS MR L . LOSER. I just can't make it into words how I felt and what had happened last night because it's like killing me softly. HAHA sounds terrible. for me not you. Okay done, I just can't think about yesterday because it was sucks.

and. you know what ? I HATE LIPAS !
don't you ever try to suprise me with that F monster if you don't want to see me lying in hospital bed. Thank you and your co-operation are really appreciated.

I'm being too emotional here because I hate em. bye

2011-05-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

hello dear may readers,

welcome bck to my empty blogie.
okay lets have some stories here,

sem 2 was awsome but 4 moths made me suffered. I'm not homesick but I just miss my home family and friends! struggle enuff to achieve the best for this sem! I really want the best, insyaallah pray for me yeah. oh what was new things I learned in sem 2? I was part of theater,man :)
it was the best experiences I had in sem 2. no doubt. not to mention it was tiring and sucks when its come to certain things but it was cool. hehe.
meeting new ppl, working with a good team and a bunch of errr irritating ppl, dealing with strangers,organizing event that had not be fully suported by HEP, finding our own collections, did some sellings,promoting the theater with the hopes it'll be the best show, selling tickets and be part of the character as Galis instead of being pgrh, choi sumpah it was a hard things to do bcse I'm not good enuff at acting and having a full burden was worth it because of the team spirit was awsome. not to deny it, i dnt knw n it was not the best but we had gave the best. Im proud of them bscause it was the first time for us to organize this kind of event.
ANDING DIDAK crew : sara shukri aizat ain mira aying chemah teah nad yeefarn kerol aiman mus zul siti shoba didi and wana . thanks alot :)

next? my final? I want the best pleaseeee hmm

2011-03-30T12:33:00.002+08:00

deep breathe.

those extreme days passed and now there's alot of thing to tell you dear bloggie and it was a wonderful and challenging time I ever had in Bintulu. Oh yess of course it was fun FUN FUN :) It was ABCD plan

but, I need to go for english class now and my lappy losak loh. hmmp update later.

2011-03-13T13:01:00.002+08:00

I used to be resistant to stress .
but until this point, the stress really STRESS me up.
but for only a few days being stress are just enuff for me to drop my tears and scream out loud.

everywhere you are, whatever you are doing , you do meet this Mr Stress.
in my situation, it's getting more stressful when I don't have my family that would comfort me and my besties to chill me up. TON OF WORKS need to be settle down in a short period and survive here alone and here comes the exams/interviews/presentation/teater herghhhh for the first time I do feel the stressness haha.

but I don't ever allowed Mr S to date me. I rejecting him again and again and yesss I made it, I solve the works as much as I could in one day and haaaaaa legaaaa lil bit :)

I'M NOT HOMESICK ! I do love staying here but I WANT TO GO BACK AND HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME AT HOME :)
COME ON MAY, PLEASE COME AS FAST AS YOU COULD.

2011-03-05T03:46:00.002+08:00

" sisa penyakit yang dahulunya tidak diobati "
This post might be a little depressed tho I am not that depress with my situation now,
What is happening to me now ? even I can't answer it. I suffer the pain, I don't know why but I feel the pain and it's really painful. I used to deny if it's only a small thing to me but now, I can't denying because I cannot stand it anymore. SAKETTTTT !
could anyone please be with me, I don't expect you to cure me but I want you to talk to me making me releasing the burden I suffered. Day by days, I pray for it to heal but it seems to be worst. I feel more and more painful. It's struck me making me crying everynite before sleep. how I wish I could just shoutttt out to you how painful it is.

I'm writing this not for the seek of attention but I really dying thinking of the pain and no one could understand how its feel. and for me, I couldn't tell you exactly how I feel. I am sorry to torture your mind while reading this but please pray for my better health because next week I'll be having a tough week with tons of assignmnents, Test 2 and presentations.

I am sorry for Blok H, Odonata :( it's not that I don't wanna join you guys for this Uniputra but seriously I can't. If I could, I will be there tomorrow.
In every nights that my tears falling from my face, there was one day that I feel too sad because I was too sick and nobody around me. yess I am so far away but I need you guys to be there talking to me. I don't request for anything just to hear your voices.
I'm sorry for the interuptions and bothering you. :(
but however a billions of thanks to Imran. You such a very good friend and your cares are really appreciated.
Thanks to Fad and Nazlia for being there comforting me when I was down.
Even you guys were busy with works but you were there for me, thank you sayang. Thanks to Putera cause you were there too nagging and making me forget the pain. :) awwwww thanks awak.
Thanks mama cause you did called me almost everyday to ask bout my condition even there's nothing much better than yesterday.
Thanks to Zek, I love you so much brother. seriously, just now I need someone to talk to just stopping me from crying in pain and you're the right person. I don't even knw that you are too caring and HAWT :D but yess you're the one that make me smile tonight :)

and I feel like crying whenever I think bout you, YOU are the one that I asked to be with but you were not there. Not even bother bout me. disappeared. silent. When I really need you, when I cried, I wanna you to hear the tears but you were not there. and even now, you are not here with me. Thanks alot for that and don't be sorry if I made my mind .

Ya Allah, please I am begging you. Give me he strength to gte over this pain and gimme a better health and bless them Ya Allah :)

2011-02-17T22:49:00.003+08:00

Test One
IntegratedFarmingSystem.AgricultureChemistry.
Mathematics.OralInteraction.
BukuSkrapHubunganEtnik.PresentationPertanian&Manusia.

Test end means RESULTS coming out.
Sumpah takut sebab I put a high hopes to get DEKAN for this semester.
Pray hard for me, Ya Allah please please please help me :'(

2011-02-16T03:34:00.002+08:00

Recent updates about me :)

*I've done with. .
my Test One
IntegratedFarmingSystem.AgricluturalChemistry.Mathemathics2.
Pentomen blok H
yeah, say it out loud 'WE WON FIRST PLACE !'
4x400 for Uniputra
ommeegeee, this is so unbelievable! I need stamina.

*Last monday on 14 of february, I bravely went to the clinic and weigh myself.
guess? 53KG ! what the fish. arghhh I need exercises!

*I feel I'm far far away from everyone of you.
I do feel that I'm missing everyone that used to be close to me.
Even some are still in contact but I feel they are gone. :(
I MISS MY FAMILY AND BESTFRIENDS AND YOU, S.

& last, I'm healthier and full of spirit to go thru this 3 months to finish up my second sem and left the wonderful and inspired memories of second semester.
Best results and laughing moments rather than feeling sad.

I do fall in love ! with me, myself. :)

that's all for now. Catch ya later with something more interesting come up in my mind.Assalamualaikum, tak jawab dosa. Jawab sayanggggg. off to sleep.

Man's love

2011-02-16T02:56:00.002+08:00

MAN'S LOVE
Saying I LOVE YOU to a thousands women doesn't make anything special, doesn't ?
above my observation, how man could fall in love with more than one woman? eventhough, yes as we know in Islam, man could marry 4 women if he can complete the responsibilities to 4 of them like our own Rasulullah who was perfectly responsible.
What's come to my mind right now is How does they say they love the other one when they have another one. get what I mean ? Man is so unpredictable and their love is terribly unbelievable until they show us the true meaning of love to him for us or we called it as sacrifices. In my opinion, to accept Man's love is hard. WHY? it is because my heart have the maximum protection which protect the heart from being break of hurt by one creature called Man. For me, When they say they love the other one when they have another one, in one thought is they are PLAYBOYS but sometimes, they really meant it. Maybe they did a wrong decision before and do realize the one they love is not her but the other one. WHY ? why Man use to make a wrong decision ? because they aren't alert and doesn't know what actually they want in their life. Maybe at first they fall in love with the woman because they are preeeeettyyyy :) but that's rubbish because when comes to 6 - 8 months they getting bored with the one they falling in love with because of the beauty. pathetic. or Maybe they usually make a wrong decision because Man have one type of a kind-hearted heart which I do mean they could feel pity and care to one that like them or women have the power to melt the man ? :D whatever it is, I dislike a man who doesn't KNOW what they looking for in their life. However, I do respect a man with high dignity that hold the words of loves only for the one they feel with full of their heart that SHE'S THE ONE. A man who are cool in falling in love with the right person and making the relationship more cheerful and interesting. I do love man who are not flirty which is when there are a bunch of hawt pretty ladies in front of them, It doesn't mean anything to them because they have the one that's own their heart. HIGH RESPECT. :)Man's love could be so true and you need to believe them when once they say they love you after having a HARD TIME and superb challenges getting to know you. Yes they do love you. Once again for me, to show that you love me is to show me that you love yourself and improve yourself for your own good in the future. Saying love every second doesn't make senses that they will love you but sacrifices would show their loves to you. It is MORE THAN WORDS.Ladies, Please don't be too pathetic to have their loves. Just wait for the best that Allah will give for you. Don't fight among ladies because of a man. it doesn't worth it. :)

so, for me what I can conclude is Man's love is so unbelievable without the sacrifices and means because saying I LOVE YOU is not the word I want to hear from you, It is not easy to show me how you feel.It is MORE THAN WORDS.

2011-01-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

blurrpp. long time no see. my schedules are pack.
now my fingers are ready to play with the words on my lappy's keypad .

1. Hey, I can get rid of my MR LAZINESS now !
the best news is I can wake up earlier than before. punctual. and do things in the appropriate time. I can manage my time well.
I hope it will last longer and oh maybe until future ? :)

2. Focus in class and understand the misunderstanding. HAHA
eventhou it's tough but try to be focus and listen to every single things they mumbling in front. Alhamdulillah, I have a row of gooood lecturers. thumbs up !

3. I can be a SAVER !
That's would be another resolution that I'm achieving. Yess, I made it. tau tak susah nak saving untuk seorang kaki shopping ? :) I did it. yaww

4. Hamster ?
geli tau dulu tapi berminat so pinjam Imran punya. Seminggu pinjam. sumpah best. dr takut menjerit teriak macam nak mampus sekarang dah boleh baring baring dengan si gemok ni. hehe nak pinjam lagi seminggu boleh, imran ?

2011-01-11T13:53:00.001+08:00

I knw I'm cool enuff to tell you the truth :) but although it's hard to let you go but I have to for the seek of everyone's good. I'm letting you away from me.

NO MORE YOU. perhaps. I feel bad. sorry !

2011-01-11T13:34:00.002+08:00

Oh, about the numbering status. I did asked two person to do it :) by using this number. my personal fav number :) 12.

Thanks to Pipi and Lentik,

Fiona Nazari
You're creative, pretty and slim -.- haha I miss those things we did together. Ingat ingat balik cam bodoh pun ada especially when it comes to our pictures HAHA We're not as close as we used to be but you know I know we will still be in each of our hearts. Thats what matters. I love you ♥

Mohamad Sharizan Mohd Kamal
X tau la clh mne kau cekih no ni.kih3.aku knal kau since blk kte gbung blkon mse mnggu klegrasi sme2.aku hngat kow grng gle.sbb mse blkon tserlah kgrangannye.wakaka.tp yg pling best time sjk sme2 la ngan 999 skli.kih3.trbaek lah.nnti sem dpn kte krah tnge2 mrk pule srh dpt no 1 ye.kau mmg gle tp sweet+sporting+gelak kuat+gle lagi skali=gitinggekugilali(setelah digbngkn).nice to know org gle mcm kau.kih3

atleast now I knw how ppl do describe me. and for some lil thing it's just making me smiling :')

2011-01-11T13:20:00.002+08:00

Once I said, It is a total pack for monday and tuesday classes. AND IT'S REAL PACK !
when it's come to assignments on these two days. It's just killing me softly but it's sokay hardworks mean we gain for something better for the next day. oh yeahh :')

2011-01-06T16:27:00.008+08:00

Today, oh yes today 6th january 2011 which it was about 5 days yawww I'm here starting the next journey of my life, we have a very quite evening and we thinking of nothing to be done unless listening to music, watching youtubes, facebooking and oh yes, cam whoringgg yaww :)

but we starting it like ermmm like normally passport pictures. HAHA

but when it's come to the mood HAHA, mira gilaaaaa :D

and what's next ? we're laughing because it's like sooo stupid and it's for making fun in the beautiful sleeeepy evening.

That's for my so called beautiful sleeeeepy evening with my rental roomate, Nur Amirah HAHA. chill ya, Nak ready for the next class at 7pm. ADDMATHS oh :')

Have a big laughs while you can cause live your life while you can.
ASSALAMUALAIKUM ! hehe

2011-01-04T19:01:00.008+08:00

since you'll like never reach this blog, so I can talk more bout you. haha when you were a lil boy you were just as naughty as a monkey. kacau sana kacau sini. yang terpenting, buli aku. tapi nak jugak geng dengan aku. aku tahu aku geng paling best kan kan :) yelah, macam rapat kan dengan kau. cuma tak share story story penting je lagi. belum masa lagi. haha orang kata muka kau hensem, biase je. jangan nak perasan. tapi orang cakap lagi aku copy paste kau cuma versi perempuan. so aku ni kira hensem jugak lah kan :) tapi bila tengok mane ade sama lah sampai ehemehem pun suka tengok kau sebab boleh nampak aku dekat muka kau. tipu betul -.-' kau ni bebal. kaki gaduh. dengan semua orang kau nak gaduh. degil tahap dewa. so memang degil la. macam nak seypak je muka kau. yang tak berubah dari kecik mestila suka kacau aku. takpe, aku tau kau sayang aku. banyak kot aku tengok perangai bangang kau dah takda. improvement. kau dah banyak berubah to the better. ofcourse la, you're big enuff to have a matured life kan. aku suka gila masa kita satu sekolah rendah dan kau kononnye popular sebab olahragawan yang hensem. mula lah ramai kakak kakak nak mengambil aku adik angkut sume sebab nak tahu pasal kau. wtf! ingat aku nak layan. haha then aku suka tengok kau lari. penuh semangat pastu tengok sebelah dah hilang. tengok tengok dekat atas pentas dah dapat no. 1 ! ceh, kira aku tumpah popularity kau lah kiranyee.
apa lagii eh cite sekolah rendah, lupe dah. banyak sangat! oh ingat tak masa rumah ptg ptg kan mesti gelap sebab sume orang tido then time tu kite dressup ala ala koboi dengan topi dan senapang di tangan then merantau satu rumah. cari bende pun tak tau. last last, posing amek gambar tapi mana tah gamba tu sume. bangang gambar dengan ikan lah. bendera malaysia lah ! hahaha bangang betul. then malam puasa bukan nak reti gi terawih. buat bising pula main kereta control. haha :D Then, zaman persekolah menengah dah tak rapat sangat sebab kau sekolah Ideal Hights and aku ST mary. lagipun kau dah masuk U aku still terkedek kedek form 5. haha
tapi sekarang, hehe tetap macam dulu. kau dah 21, babiii :) kau dah nak tua maknanya aku pun dah nak besar ! kurang aja. haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BROTHER
you'll always be mine. my super gangster :)

2011-01-04T17:49:00.002+08:00

What's hot here? ommmmiigoddd :) I felt like shoutin' when first I just realized that I arrived Bintulu. At first with no heart at all but full of hopes and dreams I unpacked everything and cleaned the room ALONE. but who cares about being one or alone cause I'm a lone ranger and seems like close to the one that cool ONLY :) I don't give a damn or either being like get a friends just because I was walking or doing things alone. eh, actually there no word in my dictionary about being alone. I think it's kinda cool to be one. single. because works become more faster. walking more faster. not too much noisy mumbling and stuff like wtf :). I do hate you preceptions strangers and even the way you talked back bout my friend. please behave and mind every words that come on from you fucking mouth, kan sia sia je kena penampa dengan aku. :) and Mira please, come back here as soon as you could hehe because I just realized that I need you, yes only you laa to be here :)

oh, finish the crap there. bout the class ? pretty pleasure first day :)Everything going so smoothy awww and we had started the class with Dr John's class then Dr Osman's agriculture chemistry class. That's awsome cause I love the way he tought cool and imformative and double the understanding. hehe oh yeahh, my timetable is like packed ! penuhhhnye esp on monday yaww. haha but who cares, not me cause it's just a timetable. what we get from the classes are the most important one. hehe

done with classes, yeay I did something new and I made it yippi. I waking up at 6 everyday oh even it's just only for this 2 days but Insyaallah I'll carry on till the end, oh and I've my balance diet too with a good budget for 2011. coolio. haha oh even I started read quran after subuh too. even revising and study back the topics learnt. hehe impressive ? hope it'll last longer till the end ! amin

oh till then, see you on the next post.
Hey I'm happy inside right now even you saw the pain outside.
YOU'RE TOO BLIND ! I'M SO HAPPYYY RIGHT NOW AND FOREVER !
love, beeha
assalamualaikum.

2011-01-01T15:05:00.002+08:00

one on one on oneone :)
get what I mean ? 1.1.11

Tak sangka kan times fly so fast, macam baru je jadi mengganggur 6 bulan then masuk U jadi junior. Baru je macam final. Baru je jumpa kwn kwn baru. Baru je mcm lps raya. baru je start cuti sem dan stuck dekat bintulu untuk 10 hari. Semuanya macam baru sahaja. tapi hari ini dah pun 2011. dua ribu sebelas. ini pun bermakna umur dah berganda menjadi 19. oh, sembilan belas ! tu lah, masa sangat lah berharga. sangat sangat berharga di mana kita tak mampu untuk berada di hari semalam jika hari ini kita sudah bangkit dari tidur :)

sejak tahun 2007 iaitu bersamaan saya berada di tingkatan 3 :) bermula la tahun tahun yang mengajar erti kehidupan sebenar dan seterusnya mematangkan diri saya malah cara saya berfikir. walaupun berada dalam keseronokan tapi perit menanggung kepayahan siapa yang tahu, kenal orang itu. kenal orang ini. buatkan diri kita lebih terbuka dengan persekitaran mereka. ada yang baik. ada yang buruk perangainya. kita lihat. bukan jadikan ikutan. yang baik baru jadikan ikutan. yang buruk jadikan tauladan. baru aku tahu, kuat jugak aku ni menjaga diri daripada perkara yang tak patut tu. Allah maha besar, Dia nak tunjuk je dekat aku tapi bukan nak aku hanyut. Alhamdulillah. kawan ? kita boleh tahu mana yang kaca mana yang permata. yang permata simpan baik baik. kawan dunia akhirat tu :) yang kaca ? kawan lah tapi berpada pada kerana kalau kaca itu pecah, terluka lah diri :) dahulunya terlalu jauh dengan keluarga, tapi kini semakin utuh. erat sangat. bagaikan sudah memahami diri masing masing. namun, pemergian tokki memilukan hati tapi Allah lagi sayangkan dia. betul tak ? tahap komunikasi antara kami semakin baik. Alhamdulillah. dulu pun okay tapi tidak lah se okay ni. masing masing dah matang. mampu berfikir baik buruknya. dulu budak sekolah lagi. itu ini dikongkong. sekarang tidak lagi, tapi nasihat bertubi tubi cuma perlu dengar dan jaga diri. orang sekarang tak boleh di percayai. awas. dahulunya belajar di sekolah. setiap pagi pergi sekolah belajar jumpa kawan kawan tapi sekarang di Universiti pula, haih cepatnya kan kawan kawan pun dah berubah corak. bukan macam dulu. persaingan untuk hari mendatang sangat lah kuat . jangan leka dengan nafsu dunia sahaja, umur semakin membesar angkanya. jadi amal ibadat pun makin besar, insyaallah. dahulunya tidak berhijab tapi kini alhamdulillah sudah mampu mengekalkannya dalam keseronokan selama setahun. Minta minta Allah jauhkan daripada godaan dunia. Jika dahulunya ibadat tu on off je kata omputih, tapi insyaallah akan dikekalkan kerana apa pun kita lakukan di dunia ini, jangan lupa Allah. sebab dia yang cipta kita. dia yang bagi kita segalanya. dia yang sayangkan kita. jadi sayangkan dia lebih dari sayangkan boyfriend anda. sayang boyfriend tak dapat apa apa, gaduh baik bagi teddy bear. tapi sayang kan Allah, kita dapat apa kita sepatutnya tidak mampu untuk merasakannya. kuatkan iman, itu je cerita dia. diri sendiri kena tekad dalam apa pun kita lakukan. bukanlah apa, sebagai jati diri. siapa kata kaum hawa tu lemah? tidak kaum hawa lah paling kuat mental dan fizikal. lelaki memang kuat. tapi mereka tak sekuat kita. ego itu kena ada. baru lah orang respect. jangan lah jadi perempuan murah, maruah kita kan kita kena lah jaga. lelaki tu tak kan jaga, jaga sendiri tau. untuk bakal bakal husband kita je. jangan lah bagi dekat orang asing. dia lepas break dengan kau, dia ada yang lain. rasa yang lain pula. buruk betul perangai lelaki. cerita dia, jaga diri sahaja wahai wanita kerana dirimu begitu berharga. azam tahun baru kena ada. kena capai. azam tahun lepas alhamdulillah, bukan semua tapi adalah sikit sikit. jadi untuk tahun ni kena lagi hebat. tahun ni kena merubah perlahan lahan. pertengahan tahun nanti tengoklah siapa saya sebenarnya. tak nak tunjuk lah. kita slow slow. belajar hidup sikit sikit. nanti dah penuh ilmu di dada. senyum je tengok cermin nanti. hahaha

banyak sangat bersastera ni, selamat tahun baru sayang sayang sekalian. Ingat ini tahun baru, tahun lama simpan jadi kenangan. tahun baru ni, ambil sebagai cabaran.

assalamualaikum,
*tak jawab dosa, jawab sayang.

2010-12-30T06:54:00.003+08:00

I do inspire by her , Maria Elena one who own this blog . check it out peliks.blogspot.com :)
by the time you watch her and heard she talking, haha gilegile but best babe :')

so, I seriously wanna have a high confident like her in talking. I do talk alot but with one that I comfort with and even at the right places, but when comes to the crowd of friends I could be triple silencer :) and improvise my englishh yeah even we're living in manglish country ( malay + english ).

I need to care alot bout me, my entire body inside and outside . that's is sooo important yeah.
what's I mean by inside are to have a very good health and a fit body even cleanCLEANclean face :') everything have to be GOOOOD ! and the outside are even not-too-fasionable but I really need a nice and cool outfit for some sort of fashion and yeah a style with the hijab :) but do wear hijab not for fashion but iniatially for the seek of Islam and Allah. Then you'll be bless. amin.

Next, brainteeeserr. oh yeah, education is the main branch in life. Don't make it as your boyfren but make study as a soul babyy.
nothing more cool and important than a Study. concern bout your study first before thinking of having a partner in your life. that's a concept I used to use. being there so far away in Sarawak make a chances for me to proof to my daddy and mummy that I went there for Study not to enjoy my life without thinking of study. however, dear fren, we still can enjoy every lil things even in study. Have a highest hope or target to achieve. as what Cikgu Umi used to said, Aim Higher ! because the hardwork will come when you have a higher responsible to achieve. in study, YOUR PARENTS are the main subject to burn the spirit. So, write bigger in your note book your parents' hopes ! trust me and I'm trusting myself again here that study comes second after family. For the next and becoming sems, the higher target would be 4.0 pointer. see, it's easy to say it but yeah, It's hard to get that Mr 4.0 flat . :) but whatever ppl can do, WHY NOT YOU ? yeahhh. The fire is burningggg phewwwh :D

Respecting people in life is a must to maintain a good friendship. Hello, FRIENDSHIP is the most powerful strength. WHY ? cause it's heal the worst parts of yours. They chill us more. They holding tight the friendship and hoping they and us to be around everytime in need :).

Know yourself the most and where you came from. remember to REMEMBER ALLAH the most. whatever we do, do it because of Him because He made you and one day you will say bye bye to this cruel world and Hi Hi to the heaven but if you choose to be in hell, stop dreaming bout it. It's triple billion cruel and hell to be in the hell. so as you work on the resposibilities in this earth, dont forget your responsibilities to Allah. Remember, everything good comes from Allah and everything bad comes from us, human. weak human being.

bestfriends vs boyfriend ? both are truly needed. No doubt. but for me, seems like I dont ready yet to be entitle as in a relationship with si polan and even I dont meet the right one, hey MR RIGHT where are you hiding man ! haha come to me but not now, later okay. as I made my way of life, I have a lots of bestfriends . hey, bestfriend with the S. haha proudly speaking, my bff are the true friend where I can depend on them. such a useful lil angels. haha :) I love youuuuu, bestfriends but to have a boyfriend ? Mr Right, come slowly okay. not to rush because I need more time for myself and when I'm ready enuff and packed myself perfectly, by the time you come haha I could feel it. hey baby, if you're my Mr Right. Insya-Allah you'll my future husband yelaa my next boyfriend is my future husband. WHY ? to enjoying your teens' life, you just need a scandals. HELLO with the S tau . HA-HA *evil laugh ! but to have a perfect life between two of us, when I accept you to be mine, my boyfriend you are yess veryy lucky, man because you'll be the first one to have me and list in my becoming b :) isn't sweeeeet ? so, stop asking me WHY? why I don't have a boyfriend and close with others' bf :) sorrry kak yer. hahaha that's fun of life. but sayang tetap sayang walaupun scandal haha. Don't deny that cause I believe if we patience in waiting, Insya-Allah, Allah will give you the best. what my life say, TAKE IT EASYYY, man!

make time moreee with yourself, hey YOURSELF okay :) spend more time with you. haha even do shopping alone sometimes, eat alone, stay alone but not toooo alone cause it'll making you suffer the loneliness haha . Then spend the time with your FAMILY. that's common right ? but it's IMPORTANT. :) appreciate them while they're still alive. make moree memories with them because once they're gone. you'll regreted it. :'( and last make time with your FRIENDS to chillex :) haha cause the stress point comes from us, ourselves but the solutions always be with friends who we can talk to and sharing is sooo much caring :) stick to that! yawww
so, TIME IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING. even more valuable than gold ! because you can't go back in past but they still stay as a memoriessss . so, time is the first thing to be success upon high desciplines :)

2010 will be leaving us very soooon and yet 2011 will happily meet us. so let's welcome the year, NEWYEAR! for the best. Improvise ourself and make it better and the best, Insya-Allah. Like I always mention, always be out of the box ! :)
make a gooood start for yourself and make a more and more highest dreams and aims to achieve ! by the way, dont forget to save. Economic issues is the everyday talk ! save save and start saving by doing the 2011 budget :)

that's all from me, a few days to keep away the memories of 2010 which every years comes and teach me everything useful :') learn the life and live the life where you are the one who create your entire life.

lots of flying lovess,
beeha

assalamualaikum.

2010-12-30T06:39:00.002+08:00

hello and assalamualaikum ,

see we might be open-minded oh for certain people and it's including me .
but in certain cases please do respect our privacy and even our gender, boys .
It's not the things to joke on around, it's disgusting . DISGUSTING BABY !
don't you hear me. it's ewwww for the girl like me to see it . you just make a wrong move dear boy . and it's straight away change my preception towards youuuu !
oh, mann I really hate those kind of thing . Do joke me something else then it'll be okayyy. such a phathetic loser !

STOP THE VIOLENCE TOWARDS MIND OR EVEN HEART TO A CREATURE CALLED WOMEN

thank you and I lost my respect towards you.

2010-12-26T00:52:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT TINGGAL TOKKI :(

Tokki pergi dengan penuh barakah, Insyaallah semoga dirahmati Allah.
innalillah. Al - Fatihah