The Babbling Mummy

Why Are My Eyes Melting, Mummy?

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 22:11:00 +0000

Our Little S has grown so much since starting Year 1 in September, and that’s not just his height. During his year in Reception, it was a mission to get him to read or do homework. We agreed not to force it with him. Instead we let him go at his own pace.

This year however, he has a sudden thirst for knowledge. He matter of factly told us that he had to learn to read so he can read his Lego books and the websites he likes to look at. He’s flying through the Oxford Reading Tree books at school. We still let him choose when to read and at the moment he’s really keen. He wants to do everything in his own time, thank you very much!

S has matured, as much as a 6 year old can be mature. He notices things that we don’t, and sometimes his insight and wisdom shocks us. I think it’s because he sees everything logically, and because he shuts people out, he has more time to take in everything he sees and learn from it.

As he’s grown older, I’ve noticed his autistic traits a lot more. They are somehow becoming more defined, as if he’s honing and improving them as he grows, if that makes sense? W and I have noticed that he is struggling with his emotions lately, in particular sadness and crying.

Anyone who knows S, knows that he’s always happy. He cried when he was a baby of course, and when he was a toddler, but rarely cries ‘for real’. He pretends to cry if Miss B whacks him with something, or if someone gets in the way of the TV, but doesn’t often really cry.

Lately, for many reasons, he has been crying more often.

If I ask him if he’s crying and why, he shakes his head and bangs himself against me, insisting that it isn’t crying. He won’t even let us say the word any more.

‘My eyes are melting. They keep doing it. Water comes out of my eyes and makes me wet. I don’t know why my eyes melt. They do it every day.’ At the same time he shakes his head and makes noises in the way he often does.

I’ve asked him how he feels ‘when water comes out of his eyes’ and he can’t tell me. I ask him if he’s feeling sad and he says no. We have to try and figure out what’s wrong with him with the few details he’s given us, if we’re not there to see the cause of upset.

It’s been really upsetting me to see S like this. I know it’s just crying, and it doesn’t last long, but to see him struggle with these emotions makes me feel useless. I’m his Mummy and I’m there to comfort him, but I can’t. If the act of crying hurts him, then how can crying help him like it should? That release we all need from time to time to help us get rid of pent up feelings and frustrations?

I’m planning to seek advice from our local Autism Family Support and see if they have any ideas of how to handle this. I’d love to hear from anyone else who’s had experience with this problem, with an autistic child or not. How do you help your child to cope with their emotions?

The 2012 Return…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 21:47:00 +0000

Ok, so I’m back on the blogging wagon. For how long, who knows? The need has returned so I’m giving into it.

A lot has been happening over the past 4 months or so since I last blogged. Time has been racing by and I can’t keep up with it. Little S is 6 now and not so little. Baby B is 3 and a half and definitely not a baby any more, even if she is still my baby. So I’ve decided to call her Miss B on the blog from now on.

In a nutshell, the end of 2011 saw me complete my Entry to Working as a Teaching Assistant course at Level 2, Little S started Year 1 and Miss B started Nursery. I was also diagnosed with Osteoarthritis in my hands, so typing has become an issue. It’s in the early stages but was very painful over the Autumn. I have it controlled now with painkillers when I need them, and luckily I’ve had little pain over the past 2 months. It’s times like this that I wish I’d insured my hands!

So I hope to update the blog in a bit more detail very soon. In the meantime I’m still on Facebook as much as ever, and I hope to frequent Twitter a bit more again. I hope to see you all there…

Birthday Preparations

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:21:00 +0000

Birthday arrangements always start early in our house. The party, the family gathering and most importantly (to the kids anyway!), the presents! Little S has been talking about his 6th birthday since B’s birthday in August. It’s only 5 weeks away, we know because S has insisted on a countdown. Unfortunately he thinks weeks means days and regularly asks if it’s his birthday.

It’s taken us this long to learn what Little S likes and what’s best to get him for his birthday. I remember buying lots of toys when he was 1 and 2, only for them to go unplayed with because he didn’t like the noises, or he lacked the imagination to play with them. He asks for a lot of things after seeing them on TV or the internet, whether he really wants them or not is another matter. He doesn’t do Ben 10 or Star Wars figures, trains or cars like a lot of boys his age. His real passion is for anything he can build, especially if he can follow the instructions and make things himself. If it has a motor then even better.

So on the list this year is Lego, Knex, Magnetix and Playmobil (not in keeping with the building theme but he still likes it!). We have already found some second hand Lego and Lego books with bricks on offer. We are trying to be really frugal and buy second hand if we can, as well as a few new things. There are Facebook for sale groups popping up all over the place and it’s amazing the stuff people sell. Some of it hardly used and perfectly ok to give as presents.

Part of the preparations also means giving away something the children don’t play with any more. We are extremely lucky that the children have a good choice of toys to play with at home. They have both got really good at clearing out their toys, books, games and puzzles before birthdays and Christmas. I do find it quite sad when they grow out of something they used to love, like with Baby B and In The Night Garden, but they grow up so quickly that it’s inevitable.

S is having a bowling party like last year for his close friends. It will be Tom and Jerry themed again, but the cake has to be Lego! We are also going to Legoland again, as this time S will be old enough to get his 6yr+ driving licence. S is becoming more and more specific with what he wants every year! The hard bit is trying to compromise with him, as what he wants and what he gets are two different things. Maybe there is too much choice out there?

I Don’t Need A Reason!

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 22:49:00 +0000

So a little while ago, I decided I wasn’t going to blog any more. I thought about it, and thought about it, and decided, yes that was it. I told a bloggy friend that’s what I’m going to do and I thought that was that. I was ok with it.

It wasn’t until later that night when I was trying to get to sleep that I started to think about it. I actually formed about 10 blog posts in my head. I suddenly got the urge back! I realised that I spend so much time thinking that I should explain myself, that I should tell everyone why I haven’t blogged.

Well I don’t need a reason. I’m just going to blog when I want to. I’ve never been worried about stats and stuff. If I go a month without blogging then so be it. It’s not the end of the world and it’s not hurting anyone.

So what’s been going on in the Babbling household?

Well my little Baby B has been poorly. Not seriously by a long shot. I thank whoever is looking over us every day that our children are always relatively healthy and happy. But she’s not well and we’ve been really worried. It’s totally treatable but it’s just taken a long time to get to the point where the Doctors will do something about it.

She is starting nursery in a few weeks and we’ve been worried that she won’t be able to go. She is so grown up now, and so desperate to go. I’m sure she will go as planned, as long as something is happening to get her better. We bought her first school shoes today. She really is turning into our little lady and the least she deserves is to go to big school!

Little S has been a cause for concern too, although we have had good news. He has been signed off of Speech Therapy. The only letters we have to work on are ‘L’ and ‘V’. A bit difficult when you have no front teeth but he’s given it a good go.

We have another appointment with the Eye Hospital because his last one was a bit inconclusive. We also have starting back at school to contend with. He has been so happy at home, it’s going to hard to send him back again.

So that’s what has happened. My beautiful children have taken over my life and I don’t care. I’m their Mum and that is what I’m there for. I haven’t written about it because my time with them is worth more than words to me.

I hope my blog understands.

Achievements

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:13:00 +0000

So it’s been an odd few weeks since Cybermummy, in fact it feels like that was ages ago. I’m not really going to talk much about it. I had a good time, don’t get me wrong, but I reckon everyone must be pretty bored of the talk now. There were a few lovely people who made it really good, thank you, you know who you are xxx

The following weekend I went away with my good friend R to Longleat Center Parcs, for a spa weekend. It was absolutely amazing (but then it didn’t involve a scary bus ride through London with a maniac bus driver, as per the previous weekend). We did a Twilight Spa on Friday evening, including a go at the Fish Spa, which I think everyone should try at least once. The following day we had a whole day in the spa. I had a couple more treatments and just relaxed as much as I could.

I think it’s been a while since I really relaxed. No TV, internet, and even though I love them dearly, no children. It allowed me to take a step back. As I was sat in one of the gardens on my own, looking at nothing but trees and the sky, I realised the things in my life that are important. I made myself think of nothing but the moment I was in and it felt fantastic.

Of course I missed the children like mad, and was glad to get back to them on Sunday, even if it felt like a big crash back to reality. They greeted me with their cheeky smiles and cuddles, and tales of their time with Daddy (sweets, more sweets and McDonalds anyone?).

We had a very cold Sports Day a couple of weeks ago. I was there all day helping out and watching Little S and my friend’s children. This year he was able to run the races by himself. He ran alongside the crowd, beaming at everyone, rather than trying to win his first race. He won the beanbag on the head race though, only because he was the only child who realised that holding it on his head was better than balancing it!

He had even made an ‘S’ sticker in class that morning, ‘so that everyone knows who I am, Mummy’. He also insisted on wearing his hat, despite the clouds and cold wind. We were so proud of him, not only because he did all the races by himself, but for trying really hard too.

So my achievement has been having the guts to go to Cybermummy, and Little S got through Sports Day on his own. He also had an amazing school report this week which I will be writing about soon. A great couple of weeks for us all round.

I’ll see you at Cybermummy…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 22:38:00 +0000

So I’m going to Cybermummy 2011, thanks to Lego Duplo who have made me an ‘Expert’(not sure that I am, but we love Lego full stop!). I first of all have to thank them for sponsoring me, and especially the fabulous Kerry Lister who does their PR. I never would have thought of going if it weren’t for their kind generosity.

I know there is a meet and greet going around, but I hope it’s ok to deviate slightly from the format. I’m just going to give you some Cybermummy/blogging/personal facts about me. Some boring, some (hopefully) interesting…

I didn’t go to Cybermummy last year.
I’ve had a blogging hiatus, on and off over the last year, mostly because I’ve been trying to get rid of this damned depression and anxiety.
I’ve seen some lovely photos of people on Twitter recently. I used to be great at remembering names and faces but constant baby brain has put pay to that. Therefore, please don’t be offended if I don’t recognise you.
I’m wearing comfy, slightly new clothes. They’re only new because I’ve lost a bit of weight, yay! My Mum altered my top for the evening, because every top I buy gapes in the boob area. My boobs aren’t really small, but I wish they were still big and milk filled (tmi).
I’ve had a nightmare sorting out trains to London, due to station closures and Underground improvements for the Olympics. My Dad helped me sort it out, so hopefully I’ll turn up on time!
There are around 400 bloggers going to Cybermummy. That’s 400 different people, with 400 different reasons for going. I’ve realised that everyone is different, and the Cybermummy experience is different for everyone.
I’m really nervous about going. I have issues with social situations so it comes as no surprise, but I still want to make the most of it, and use it as a way of testing my ability to face up to my fears.
I love to have a laugh though and drink a little…or a lot!
I’m looking forward to meeting some of the lovely people I chat to online.
I’m wondering if I’m travelling light enough, and I bet I’ll be carrying the equivalent of a week’s shopping on the way back.
I’m staying at the Travelodge.
I know there are lots of goings on in the evening, but I’m undecided about what I’ll do. I’ve had some lovely offers after confessing to being worried about a night in my hotel room and I’m really grateful. If I don’t go out, it’s because I’m knackered or overwhelmed. My morning train is really early, so I may just want my bed!
W is looking after the children all weekend, and next weekend because I’m off to Centre Parcs with my friend R. He rocks for doing this.
You’ll be happy to know that if I do drink, I won’t pole dance, although I can’t promise anything.
I’m very jealous of the bloggers going to watch Glee.
I love eating out, so I’m REALLY looking forward to lunch and dinner that day.
I am blonde, and my fringe is a little too long.
I will probably have spots by Saturday.
It’s my birthday on Friday (not blogging related but nice to know).
I’ve given far too many facts and you’re all getting bored.

I hope to see you all there, and I hope everyone has a great time. Please say hello, I’d love to meet you.

When it all gets a bit much…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 22:59:00 +0000

…just have a party with your friends. I mean the friends who are your best. The ones who have seen you happy, sad, angry or drunk as hell, swinging around a clothes line pole thinking you’re an expert pole dancer*.

Things have been a struggle lately. A real struggle. It’s taken all my power and energy to not go back to the doctor. I knew this could happen, and I’m not surprised. I’m not going to give in yet though.

So I invited my friends over to help celebrate my birthday this week (this Friday if you’re interested). I ummed and ahhed about cancelling it but decided to go ahead. I’m so glad I did. All but a couple of my closest friends were there. And I realised, they were there for me. Not in an arrogant way, but in an ‘omg, I didn’t realise how true these friends are’ kind of way. It really helped to lift my mood.

As did the shenanigans that went on. Drinking, swearing, rudeness, puking, Singstar, laughing, glass smashing and even head butting ensued, making the night absolutely hilarious and unforgettable. There was also a lot of cheese talk for some reason…

So if things are getting you down, surround yourself with friends. And wine (in non breakable glasses, preferably). It worked for me.

*Someone else was pouring my drinks when that happened. And it was a long time ago. Yes, that old chestnut…

Lego Creations

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 16:18:00 +0000

Little S spends a lot of time on his own making stuff out of Lego. I don’t know if it’s an Autism thing or a boy thing, but he loves it. He usually combines his love of Lego with his love of consoles, by making Lego Nintendo Wii’s, DS’s, PSP’s, Gameboys, etc, etc. He has spent hours watching a Youtube clip of some bloke making a Wii out of Lego. I’m sure he must be responsible for about a 1000 of his views!

We’ve started taking pictures of his creations now so he can look back on them. Here are some he’s made recently.

We bought this base board at Legoland on Sunday (he loves it there and has requested a visit on his birthday too!). This is a Lego Wii Remote holder. The black part is a screen of some kind. I think the wires you can see charges the remote.

This is some sort of Nunchuk trolley, so you can pull your Nunchuk along the floor.

I think S is acting out because of our no gun rule, because he loves making this – a gun that holds the Wii Remote.

I’d love to start a blog for Little S when he’s older to showcase his creations. He loves explaining what everything is (although you can’t often understand it all!) and taking photos of them. It definitely helps him to learn how to express himself to others.

After going to Legoland, he has decided he wants this and has added it to his birthday list.

It costs from about £175 online so I think he’s going to have to save a bit of pocket money first!! Oh, and be 10 years old!

The Eye Test Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 22:21:00 +0000

So remember the other week when Little S had his eye test (and B stole from Argos!)? Well on Saturday he had his follow up test. This time he had a different Optician (I’m sure I’m meant to say Optometrist or something) as the previous one had left.

We got there early so S could have the drops in his eyes. They take half an hour to work so we did a bit of shopping. On the way round Little S started complaining that he couldn’t see properly. By the time we got back to the Opticians, his pupils were enormous and I didn’t know what was going on.

After waiting for ages S finally had his appointment. Apparently the effects of the drops are normal but no one prepared us for it. Even though I had explained that S is autistic and things need to be explained in a certain way so he knows what’s going on.

The whole examination was a rush, because they had booked someone else into his appointment as well. The Optician was told that morning and the staff just told her to deal with it! Thank you Boots Opticians! So they made a 5 year old boy wait for his appointment (over an adult, plus we had booked the appointment first!). He was bored, tired, and upset that he couldn’t see. He did not want to cooperate and I was livid.

The Optician wasn’t getting anywhere with him so she has now referred S to the Eye Hospital. Something she would have done in the first place, in her opinion. The tests they do have confirmed that he has astigmatism of –1, which I’m told is bad for his age (my eyes are –2 and –1.75 I think). All I know is he can’t read anything lower than the top line.

I now know that it’s easier to fix his eyes up until the age of 8 and that he will probably need glasses and maybe eye patches to correct his sight. So now we have to wait 6 weeks or so for his next appointment. He’ll see about 3 different people who can look at his eyes and do a really thorough assessment. He’ll need the drops again but at least I can prepare him for it this time.

He was so brave though, even though it upset him. We have talked a lot about his eye test and what will happen the next time (I found a leaflet to download at the Eye Hospital website). He knows he might need glasses and he’s happy about that! I wish I was. It just seems like something else for him to contend with. At least if we’re catching it early, it may be easier to correct. Let’s just hope the next eye test is more successful!

So I took my driving test last week…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sun, 29 May 2011 20:04:00 +0000

I first started learning how to drive when I was about 18 or 19. I even got as far as doing my Theory Test and passed it first time. Unfortunately, my instructor wasn’t the best, and I ended up stopping lessons completely. Fast forward 10 odd years and I’ve got 2 children who are desperate to go places in the holidays, and a hard working husband who has to go shopping in the evenings when he’d rather be sat at home with his feet up.

So last year I decided to start driving lessons. A work friend’s husband is a driving instructor so I started lessons with him and passed my Theory Test (it had changed a lot since I last took it!) in October. I booked my test for March but unfortunately my instructor was taken seriously ill and I had to cancel. He’s still not well but a lot better than he was. Luckily, his wife put me in touch with another excellent instructor who helped me to pass my test last week!

The test was nowhere near as bad as I thought. You have to read a number plate at 20 metres, then answer 2 questions about vehicle safety. Then you drive as instructed before doing a reverse manoeuvre. After that is 10 minutes of independent driving, where you have to follow a route given to you by the examiner. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember the whole route, as long as you drive safely.

I only got 3 minor faults out of a possible 15! According to my instructor, that is exceptional don’t you know?! I stalled, went too fast and too slow. I was pretty impressed when I was told I’d passed, especially as I don’t think I could have been more scared!

Later in the day I drove on my own, which was possibly more scary than the actual test itself. I didn’t bother with P plates, so of course everyone assumed I was a reasonably experienced driver. Well it made a nice change not to have other drivers overtaking or avoiding me like they did when I had the L Plates.

I took the family out yesterday, forgetting about the Bank Holiday/half term traffic. How I got onto one roundabout I don’t know. I somehow managed to weave my way through the motorway bound traffic and get to the other side, my heart beating so fast I’m sure I should have keeled over.

Then there was the moment I started trying to move forwards in traffic and actually rolled backwards, to the delight of the driver behind me who beeped, just to let everyone know how inexperienced I am. By the time we got to McDonalds I was in tears and swore never to drive again. Even so, I did manage to drive over to my friends on my own for some celebratory drinks last night (of course I didn’t drive back, W picked the car up this morning).

Somebody, please tell me this driving lark gets easier in time!

The Eye Test and the Thief!

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:42:00 +0000

On Saturday we took Little S for his first eye test. I have never been particularly worried about his eyesight, but the Optometrist had said previously she would see him at age 5 so I thought he could come with me to my next appointment.

I had already prepared S for his eye test and he seemed quite happy to go. He was certain he would need glasses! I told him I was sure he wouldn’t need them at all…now why did I do that?!

Once we were about 5 minutes into the test it became clear that S couldn’t really see anything from the 2nd line down on the monitor. The Optometrist showed him letters and pictures close up and far away, so she knew he could read all his letters. S behaved so well, even though I could tell he was getting frustrated because he couldn’t see everything.

So it turns out that he has astigmatism, like me. He is also short sighted, like me. Cheers Mum!

They are going to see him again in a couple of weeks, and this time they want to put drops in his eyes to relax them, so they can’t get an accurate reading of his eyes. Apparently, children’s eyes are always focussing in and out, so it can be difficult to see exactly what prescription they need.

So it could turn out that he doesn’t need glasses yet, but given that W and I both wear glasses, it looks likely that he will. I’ll let you know how he gets on.

After S’ eye test we did a bit of shopping around town, but it was getting on for 5.30 so we didn’t have long. We went into Argos to have a look for some children’s cups (we still have mostly cups with teats which, the children don’t use any more). S and B looked at the toys, asked for some, got upset when we said no – the usual. W bought more batteries for the never ending pile of electronic toys.

We left and walked back to the car. It wasn’t until we were halfway there that I noticed that Baby B had a Lego Minifigure in her hand. I had carried her most of the way too! I could see W looking at me as if to say, ‘Oh come on, we’ve come this far, it’s only a Minifigure’. I couldn’t do it though. I explained to B about stealing, in basic 2 year old terms, and took her back to Argos.

The staff didn’t seem too bothered when I explained to them what happened. Baby B seemed ok with it all, even though she really wanted the Lego. Little S spent the rest of the day telling B she was a thief! ASBO at the age of 2 anyone?!

Autism Family Support

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sat, 14 May 2011 23:08:00 +0000

Approximately a year after registering with our local Autism Family Support, we made an appointment to see them to talk about Little S. I can remember kind of going on auto pilot after diagnosis; registering with this and that but not really taking much notice of what I was doing.

We got a pack through with lots of information, most of which I didn’t read. I think I had information overload at that point! We’ve been getting through the past year on our own and I think we’ve been doing quite well, but recently we’ve felt we just need a bit more support.

W got some time of work and the support worker came to our house. I so wish we’d made the appointment sooner. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who knows exactly what we’re going through, and who has a wealth of information we can tap into. She told us about courses and books to read, but also gave us tips on how to cope with different behaviours.

She didn’t question whether S was autistic or not (he was at school so she didn’t get to see him) or pass judgement on anything we do. In fact she was pleased with the progress so far. It was a really emotional couple of hours for me. Lots of things she said clicked into place for both of us.

I’ve enquired about the National Autistic Society’s EarlyBird Plus course, which gives you a chance to meet other families, learn more about autism and gives you the opportunity to take somebody from school along with you. It’s free to go too.

There is a waiting list though so we probably won’t be able to go until next year. It’s also on a day I work in the morning, typical! I’m hoping W will be able to arrange time off work and that the school will agree to send someone along.

She is also going to give us details of the Dr who advises the school on the best way to help Little S get the best out of school. We’re hoping that if we deal with him direct that we might get more feedback.

When S is 8, he can attend youth clubs for children with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism. They have gaming days, which I know S will love. I’m really looking forward to him finding others who share the same interests as him. At the moment I’m imagining a room full of Lego and consoles, but I’m sure it’s not like that at all!

There are just so many little things we have to face all the time. It’s hard to know if we’re being told the right things, or if S is getting all the support he needs. Having this extra support will be invaluable to us and Little S. I’m also warming to the idea of meeting other families, having avoided it so far! I’m hoping I’ll be pleasantly surprised…

If you’ve had any experience of the EarlyBird Plus course, then do let me know how it went. Or if you’ve found anything useful that might help us. I’d really appreciate it.

Housework – an even split?

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Tue, 03 May 2011 13:00:00 +0000

I often find myself wondering how I end up doing so much cleaning. It’s almost constant. I never seem to get to a point where the house is clean enough for me to just sit down and forget about it.

Now I should probably tell you that I have been described as having OCD when it comes to housework, so I’m aware that my standards are probably a bit too high. Even so, I’ve been making a concerted effort to just let things go when it comes to the tidiness and cleanliness of the house.

Unfortunately, the other 3 members of the house don’t need to make any effort to do the same. It just seems to come naturally to them. Here are some of the housework related traits in the Babbling household…

Selective Washing Up
When I wash up I wash everything, and I go round all the sides of the kitchen, clearing them off, wiping them down. It is generally my job to wash up so that’s how I do it. Selective Washing Up is when you go in the kitchen, wash up, but leave various items, such as the jars that need washing out before recycling. Or the pan with the stubborn food ~~burnt~~ stuck to the bottom. You also fail to notice the huge splatter of bolognaise sauce on the wall behind the hob.

Selective Tidying Up
This is much the same as Selective Washing Up, and usually occurs in the children’s bedroom. Rather than putting the books away neatly, they are often piled up ON TOP of the bookcase or on the floor. A little pile of clothes ‘that have been worn but are still clean’ forms on the floor. The pile of stuff Little S has hidden under his covers remain there until you notice it whilst hoisting his sleeping body onto the top bunk later that night. In the dark. Also, the toys aren’t put in the right boxes so you can’t find that brick or My Little Pony hairbrush when you need it.

‘She’ll know if it’s dirty or not, I’ll just leave it on the floor’
Quite often, W will wear a few jumpers at once. I have no idea why. The children like to dress themselves in several different outfits a day and Baby B in particular likes a new pair of pjs on every night. I usually find said items of clothing when I’ve just put a wash load on. I’ve often been told to ‘smell it’ to see if it needs washing. This is usually met with a few swear words, or a swift kick up the backside (of course I’m talking about my husband here!).

Half a job Harry
This is a phrase coined by my good friend P. Why finish a job when you can leave it and be called Half a job Harry? I think this one is fairly self explanatory!

‘I am man/boy therefore I must wee up the wall’
This one is also self explanatory. Those expensive toilet cleaning wipes (for EASIER cleaning) go unused *sigh*

‘It’s wet and sticky so it must be better off smeared on the walls’
This applies to the children of course. We can’t end a meal time without some of it getting on the floor, wall, patio doors or sofa (sadly, we don’t have a dining room). I often walk up the stairs and notice sticky handprints on the wall or banister. Baby wipes are really handy in these instances.

Now my lovely husband doesn’t read my blog, so he can’t defend himself. Because I love him, I’ve decided to do it for him. This is what he would say about me…

Will never wash or hoover the car
Would rather die of thirst than put the kettle on
Can’t do anything involving getting dirty or breaking a nail
Won’t get up in the morning unless she absolutely HAS to
Can’t lay carpet, or fill in, or generally fix things like I’ve (Hubs) been doing all week
Is an expert at putting together flatpack (he really would say this, honestly)

So I suppose it’s kind of a fair split in our house. W and I both have our jobs that we do and we share a lot of it. It does annoy me that he’s probably only cleaned the bathroom less than 10 times in the 7 years we’ve lived here! Now that the children are getting older, they are definitely capable of helping out too.

Am I the only one this obsessive about having a tidy house, or is that impossible whilst you have small children? Is there a way to stop males pissing up the wall? All hints and tips gratefully received!

Spring Sort Out

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 22:13:00 +0000

Firstly, Happy Easter all! W has the week off, which is the first in a long time. It’s been so lovely having him here with the children. We’re even going to Alton Towers on Tuesday, CHILD FREE!!

One of the jobs on our list this week, is to sort out our attic. We have 5 years worth of children’s stuff up there and I’m pretty sure the attic will cave in if we leave it up there much longer. We haven’t been keeping it in the hope of the patter of more tiny feet, but rather for my little sis, who I want to see use our precious ‘baby stuff’ when she has a baby.

Here are the clothes…

There’s about 20 bags there! How did we go through so much?! A lot of it was donated generously by friends with older children, and some of it we bought ourselves. Pretty much all of it is worn, which I’m glad of. I don’t think I could live with myself if most of it was unworn!

We also have all the big baby things – highchair, travel system, etc. It’s amazing how much you use when you have babies, and how much you get that you NEVER use. It was pretty pointless having a baby monitor in our tiny 2 bed house, or a bottle warmer and bottles for totally breastfed babies.

Whilst sorting through the tiny clothes, I did get a pang of broodiness…then I vividly remembered the sleepless nights and endless nappies, which put those feelings to bed straight away. I love my children at the ages of 5 and 2, and I don’t think I can go through the baby stage again! It’s bad enough that we’re potty training again…

We’ve decided to keep a few toys for our grandchildren to use one day. I have some original boxed Toy Story toys for S and B, just in case they want to go on Antiques Roadshow in the future! We have all our old photos, including our wedding album, that I can’t wait to look at again. There is a box of things that W’s Nan left us when she died and some old school books. All the memories we can’t quite bring ourselves to throw away, but remain unseen for years on end.

We have all of Lady S’ old Barbies and Polly Pocket, including a pregnant Barbie with detachable stomach (really can’t wait to explain that one to the children!) which we have been saving for Baby B. I’m pretty sure we also have a few old games consoles and useless computer junk. I think after this sort out we could probably move one of the children up there…Little S could definitely do with his own space!

Plans for the rest of the week are decorating and laying carpet. How grown up are we?! I never thought my weeks off would entail DIY and spring cleaning – how dull…

I hope your Easter break is more exciting than mine!

Brilliant Baby B!

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 22:06:00 +0000

Baby B is now 2 years and 8 months. I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by. In September she will be starting at the school nursery. Due to changes with the school intakes in our area, she will miss preschool completely. It’s strange because Little S had a full year at preschool before nursery, so it feels like she’s missing out a lot.

She is so keen to go now. She keeps telling me that she’s going to nursery in September with Little S (she doesn’t get that S will be in Year 1 by then), but can’t take her doo-doo (dummy) or wear nappies (a WHOLE other story)! We’ve half-heartedly been trying to wean her off the dummy with little success. I’m not actually that fussed about the dummy. Little S weaned himself off it by the time he was 3. If it gives her some comfort then that’s fine by me, but it does make it difficult to understand what she’s saying sometimes. Maybe a move to sleep time only is what’s needed?

Our little princess is coming on leaps and bounds with everything. She chatters non stop. She sits and reads us her books, having memorised all the important ones. She can almost count to 20. She throws a mean strop and has perfected her evil look already!

But by far she is the greatest asset to Little S’ life. She seems to have taught him so much. She’s like a mini version of me, helping him out and playing with him. Even though B is so young, it’s almost as if she’s aware that he’s autistic. She comforts him when he’s sad and knows when to leave him alone. In return he cuddles her and checks she’s ok, just like a big brother should. She has really brought out that loving emotion in him. That’s not to say that they don’t fight though, because believe me they do!

At one point I did wonder if B and S would ever be close, but I needn’t have worried. They are the perfect combination.

New Me, New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 21:46:00 +0000

Well it’s not exactly new, it’s still me, just with a bit more confidence and positivity…I think, haha!

I asked the lovely Liz at Violet Posy (who is so patient and put up with my ~~demands~~ requests!) to design a new header and badge for this blog, and my review blog. Look up and you’ll see what she came up with. I love it! I hope you do too. For me it signifies a fresh start. It sounds really corny but I lost my way with my blog last year, and now I’ve sorted my life out, I’m starting to sort my blog out too.

I’ve had a few new blog followers recently (always happy about that!) so hello to you all and welcome. Do say hello if you have the time…

I’m lucky enough to be going to Cybermummy this year, thanks to Lego Duplo who are sponsoring me, and putting me up in a hotel for the night. I didn’t realise until today how early it all starts, so my train is at 6.22 in the morning! I’ll be knackered by the end of the day!

I’m really looking forward to meeting lots of people, and seeing some of the friends I’ve made through blogging. I’m also REALLY nervous but I’m coping with it. At least I am going this year…
I’m planning on writing lots of posts on Baby B, who isn’t a baby any more. I feel she’s missed out on blog space a bit. I’ve written about Little S and his autism so much, but B is just as important, of course. She has also helped S a lot in the 2 and a half years she’s been in our lives, so she deserves a bit of attention.

Of course Little S will feature too. He’s still getting into lots of mischief so I’m sure he’ll give me plenty to write about.

If you’re still reading then join me on Facebook or Twitter to keep up to date with all the latest blog happenings. You can also visit The Babbling Mummy Reviews to see what we think of the products we get to try through blogging.

I just realised that I’ve been blogging for nearly 2 and a half years! Well here’s to the next few years of blogging!

Losing Teeth

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 20:27:00 +0000

I didn’t think I’d have to deal with the loss of baby teeth until Little S was much older. So I’m still a bit shocked that he has lost 2 teeth in the space of a few weeks! My little boy is suddenly a much bigger boy.

It all happened when S came downstairs whilst I was doing the washing up, asking me to ‘look at something’. I was getting cross because it was his bedtime and he’d been up and down all evening, but eventually he got me to look in his mouth and see one very wobbly bottom tooth.

I loved having wobbly teeth as a child; I would wobble and twist them until they fell out. But the sight of my own child with a wobbly tooth was enough to turn my stomach. I was panicking, thinking that the only reason his tooth could be ready to come out at such a young age was because they were all going rotten. W was upstairs getting Baby B to sleep so naturally, I turned to my Facebook friends for advice.

Luckily, my lovely friends reassured me that yes, it does bleed sometimes; no, it shouldn’t have a root, and no, he’s not too young, so the feelings of panic started to ease. In the midst of my own worrying though, Little S started to get upset about his gap. I explained it all to him, and after watching the Dentist episode of Peppa Pig a few times, he was happy and desperate to go to bed and wait for the Tooth Fairy.

It is honestly the quickest I’ve ever seen him get into bed. I found a black muslin jewellery bag for him to put his tooth in and under the pillow it went. He was asleep so quickly, I started to think that we should promise a visit from the Tooth Fairy every night…would get expensive though.

My first ridiculous thought was to give £5 for his first tooth, but the general Facebook advice was to go a lot lower. We settled on £2 for the first tooth and £1 for subsequent teeth. As my best friend H pointed out, that’s only £21 for the Tooth Fairy to fork out over the next few years.

Of course S was up bright and early the following day to see what he had. We also realised that the next tooth along was wobbly too. A week or so later, it fell out one morning. I put it in a ‘safe place’ (there really is no such place in our house) but by the evening it had mysteriously disappeared.

So of course I had to speak to the Tooth Fairy to negotiate a £1 for a missing tooth.

When did lying to my children get so easy?!

There has been no more wobbly teeth since, no matter how hard S tries. I even found the missing tooth in his bedroom a few days later. At the moment I’m not entirely sure what to do with them. Keep them? Make a necklace?! I have found articles about milk teeth containing stem cells that could be used for research and to treat diseases in the future. You can even have baby teeth stored for this purpose, in case your child ever needs treatment. I think at the moment, a trinket box is good for me until I decide.

I’d love to hear ways of keeping your children’s lost teeth, or do you just throw them out?

A long two months…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:59:00 +0000

*I’m sorry for the disclaimer, but in my experience, Googling anything to do with health can bring up all sorts of stuff, with lots of people claiming to be an expert when they have no qualifications to be. Everything in this post is personal to me and my circumstances. If you are going through anything similar then I urge you to speak to your doctor. I am not a health professional and this blog post is not advice, it is just my story*

I’ve thought about writing this post for about a month now. Every time I sit down to do it, I procrastinate on Facebook or Twitter. I suppose it’s taken a long time to get to the point where I’m happy to write it all down.

Just before Christmas, I started Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to help with my anxiety and depression. I was very sceptical at first and didn’t think it would work. I had got to the point where I thought that this was it for the rest of my life.

I’m not going to go into too much detail, as it is all very personal to me. But through the therapy I have found that different points and experiences in my life have contributed to where I am now. There are triggers I never even realised existed. It has made me feel really emotional, and to have to question all my life rules and beliefs about myself and others around me is the hardest thing I’ve had to do.

About 2 months ago, I decided to stop taking my anti depressants. I wanted it to be ‘me’ going through the CBT, not the medicated ‘me’. I agreed with my doctor that it would be a gradual process, which would result in me stopping the following month.

I never knew how dependant I was on them, and how much they have changed me. The first few weeks were awful. I was anxious, angry, aggressive, tired, emotional, depressed…every negative emotion floated up to the surface of my mind and stayed there. As well as mental withdrawal, I suffered physical withdrawal. Some days I couldn’t get out of bed. Other days I couldn’t really move. Just putting the washing on made me feel nauseous.

The children have seen a side to Mummy that I hope and pray they never have to see again. I was constantly on edge and snappy. My tolerance levels were low. After 2 weeks I spoke to my doctor who was really supportive and understanding. I made the decision to persevere. I would fight it and get rid of the medication for good.

Now, about 4 weeks down the line, I’m starting to get back to normal. The withdrawal is still there, but it’s manageable. I’ve never had this with the tablets I’ve taken before, but I know for certain that I never, ever want to go through it again. For me, anti depressants are no longer an option.

I have looked over the last year and it is so apparent to me now how different I am on medication. I haven’t really been interested in anything. I was happier just lounging around or sleeping. I had no energy, no zest and no drive. I let myself go. I drank too much, ate too much. In the evening I’d try to sit and blog but I just couldn’t be bothered.

My friends and family have been so, so amazing. I know they have tried to point the personality change out, ever so kindly, but I haven’t listened.

Since I’ve stopped the medication I have so much more energy. I’m back to being on the go and getting things done. I love blogging again. I’m so much more patient and calm about everything, especially with the children. I have the energy to play with them, and to enjoy it too!

I believe in fate, so this has all happened for a reason. It’s made me realise what I’ve got, and what I was starting to lose. It’s made me determined to beat the anxiety and the depression. The CBT is really helping me to boost my confidence, and we are working towards recognising when things are going down hill (even though I’m going to try my hardest not to be there again, I’m not naive enough to think it’ll never happen again), so I can get through the lows without medication.

This hasn’t been easy on my friends or family, and they all deserve huge medals for putting up with me and my ever changing mood this past few months. I think they know how grateful I am…but I want to say it here anyway. Thank you…

***

Coming soon…a new look header for my blog, thanks to the lovely Liz at Violet Posy…updates on the blog stars, Little S and Baby B…New Years resolutions progress report…The Babbling Mummy going to Cybermummy thanks to Lego Duplo…plus fun and reviews over at The Babbling Mummy Reviews…

We hate homework!!

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 22:45:00 +0000

Ok so ‘hate’ may be too strong a word but unfortunately it’s true. Little S has started getting homework every week. It gets set on a Friday and has to be handed in by the following Wednesday.

I know that doesn’t sound unreasonable really, but to my mind, a five year old shouldn’t be doing homework. Firstly, it’s not really homework for the child, it’s homework for the parents. Yet another way to single out the working parents from the non working, the arty crafty parents from the ‘can’t make anything from a toilet roll tube’ parents. There is nothing wrong with being any of these people, but it does make life hard if you’re in the latter categories.

Plus, what does it actually teach your child? That it’s best for someone else to do your work for you?

The first piece of homework was to create your own superhero. S didn’t want to make anything, he just wanted to draw a picture. So he drew a picture of Super Mr Fix It Man, based on his own superhero, Daddy. He even drew a super hammer and screwdriver. I thought it was pretty excellent.

As I walked into the school cloakroom on Wednesday, I could see all the marvellous creations being handed in. All superbly crafted using aforementioned toilet roll tubes, coloured paper and probably a bit of help from Mummy and Daddy.

Ok, ok, so maybe I’m being a bit harsh. Five year olds do need help with these kind of things. Five year old autistic children need a little more help…and goading…and bribery to get them to do something they really do not want to do.

This week S has to write a superhero story. He has only just started to write his name independently and correctly. He can write a few other words but would rather not write at all. W tried his hardest today to help him create a comic, but it was like banging his head against a brick wall.

To be honest, I think it’s putting unnecessary pressure on S. A lot of children in his class are still only 4, and getting through a whole school day is tiring enough for most of them. It puts pressure on us too. The last thing we want to be doing at the weekend is forcing S to do homework. We want to go out, have fun, relax. We want him to learn at his own pace.

W is going into school on Wednesday for a superhero morning, and he is going to speak to his teachers about it.

I’d be interested to hear what others think. Is homework a good idea? Is 5 too young. Am I being a lazy, terrible parent?!

Fighting for the Salad

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 00:17:00 +0000

Happy New Year all…and I hope you’re all having a good one so far. W and I spent NYE playing a marathon game of Yahtzee and drinking champagne (which, I hasten to add I got ID’d for in Tesco…I was so pleased!). We don’t tend to go in for NYE too much…it’s very overrated.

I don’t tend to make New Year’s resolutions either. Well I do make those half hearted resolutions that I’m going to do this or that but they never really last. This year though, I have made promises to myself, in the hope of fooling myself into thinking they’re not specifically New Year’s resolutions…no I’m not convinced either!

I’m starting a regime of good diet and exercise. I want to lose x stones by my birthday in June. No, I’m not going to say how many, but I will tell you when I get there! After watching 2 wasted months of Weight Watchers membership go by I’ve decided to really go for it this time.

Recently, my children have discovered that they love salad (plus S has found he loves cabbage, and has even resorted to eating it raw!), and were fighting over a bowl of it yesterday. This is whilst I quickly devoured some vegetable rice and quite a bit of an Iceland Indian platter. Add to that lots of cake, biscuits, chocolates and wine and I’ve had a pretty gluttonous Christmas. I’m going to lead by my children’s example and eat healthily again.

I also have to admit to not following my Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) closely enough over the Christmas weeks, and with an appointment on Thursday, I’ve decided to throw myself into that too. I also want to talk to my doctor about stopping my anti depressants. I don’t feel that it’s ‘the real me’ doing the CBT, but rather ‘the fake me’, if you see what I mean? I’m hoping that she’ll agree with me. I’ve had enough of taking them.

Another big thing I want to achieve this year is passing my driving test. I think I’m nearly there and can’t wait for the independence. Just being able to take the kids out all over the place would be amazing. I have my next lesson on Saturday and I’m just waiting for my instructor to tell me to go ahead and book it! In a strange way, I can’t wait.

So those are my not-New Year resolutions…lets just see if I’ll keep to them?

It’s about time I blogged…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 23:15:00 +0000

Hello! It’s me, Clare. I haven’t blogged in a while, my dear blog, and I’m sorry. I have my reasons. Like Chandler in Friends, I’d like to say they’re threefold, but they probably aren’t. Any chance I get to quote Friends I do

I think I know why I haven’t blogged. I got bored. I like a change now and then. I want a complete new look.

I think 2010 has been a funny old year for blogging. I haven’t blogged as much as I did in 2009. I wrote 154 posts in 2009, compared to 31 in 2010. What’s that all about?!

I found that a lot came out in 2010. Plain bitchiness and competitiveness. I found myself unfollowed and blocked on Twitter. I have an inkling why, and at first I cried about it. I cried. I hadn’t done anything against anyone but I was excluded, much like when I was a teenager.

Am I a teenager? No, I’m an adult. I don’t care about why people don’t like me. I used to, I admit, but now I simply don’t care. It’s their problem.

I used to blog about what mattered to me, but then I found myself wondering what others want me to blog about.

A month or so ago I started counselling for my mental health problems. It’s been hugely liberating so far and I intend to write about it. It’s self indulgent and maybe a bit depressing, but if that’s how my life is then that’s how I intend to blog.

Little S has been a huge focus point in my life at the moment too. It’s been an incredibly difficult time since September when he started Reception. All I want to do in the evening is play some games and chat with friends or W. It’s relaxing and it keeps my mind off of daily life.

I’ve spent chunks of time away from the PC and it’s been wonderful. Gone are the days when I have the PC on all day. I play with the kids and help them learn. I have a whole post on autonomous learning planned in my head. It’s so exciting!

Both of the children have shown such an eagerness to learn recently and I fully intend to embrace that. I want to learn for myself too. I can’t remember why the moon comes out at night or how the solar system is made up. The children want to know and I want to help them find out why.

So I think I’ve decided on my blog’s direction for 2011. It’s me and my family and what we’re interested in. And I simply can’t wait!

Merry Christmas to all my readers. Thanks for following me so far and I hope you continue; I could certainly do with the support…

xxx

School Worries

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 23:43:00 +0000

It’s been so hectic here lately. My mind is so full of everything and I’m finding it hard to empty it. At the forefront of all our minds are Little S’s recent troubles at school.

It’s been bubbling away under the surface recently. We have become more aware of the problems S faces every day. I find myself imagining his future. I wonder if he’ll have a good job, friends, a wife and family. I know lots of mothers probably wonder that, but with S being autistic, even though it’s not severe, I wonder if it’s a possible future or not.

Ever since S started at Reception he hasn’t been happy. There was an incident a while ago when he came home and told me he’d been hit over the head with hammers by 2 boys in his class. I couldn’t get out of him names but that’s not unusual. He only ever mentions a few names of children he knows.

When I questioned one of his teachers I was told that they weren’t real hammers. Well, duh! It wasn’t provoked and the children in question were dealt with severely, but at the back of my mind I was concerned that I wasn’t informed straight away.

To this day S talks about it as if it happened yesterday.

We had a long period of time where S was dry at night. This has changed since the start of the school year. He says to us that he has no friends, that children don’t like him and they hit him. He tells us that other children make him sad.

He complains constantly that he feels sick. Even to the point where I took him to the doctors, only to be told there was nothing physically wrong.

My friend’s son (older than S) told her of an incident in the big playground with S and 3 much older boys. He stepped in to defend S and for that I’m eternally grateful. But he shouldn’t have had to.

There have been 3 incidents of his show and tell toys going missing. S told me that his toy car was kicked into the hedge by another boy and it has never been found. At the time I told one of his teachers that he would no longer be doing show and tell because of his stuff going missing.

At the same time, just before half term, I told them that I wanted the bullying sorted. I was assured that they were taking things seriously and were keeping a close eye on him and his peers in the playground.

After something that happened on Monday (his whole class was taken to the big playground outside of break time and he was initially too scared to go out) and something else on Tuesday, I decided that S wouldn’t be going to school on Wednesday. I did however go to school with the intention of talking to the head or deputy head. I explained what was happening to S. I can still see the relief on his face. In fact, as we were going out of the front door he asked, ‘are you sure we have to go to school, Mummy?’

I told him that I was going to sort out the problems he’d been having once and for all. He seemed to completely understand. I wish I’d done it sooner.

There was no one available to speak to so I informed the school that he wouldn’t be coming back until I did speak to someone. The deputy head rang later that morning and she was brilliant. We arranged an appointment for that afternoon.

It seems that other children in S’s year have been having problems in the big playground, not just S. They had arranged an assembly for the older years on Friday to talk about bullying. They are also thinking of bringing the Reception children back into the foundation stage playground.

I did say that that shouldn’t have to happen. I told them that I want the bullying problem addressed and want to know the outcome of the assembly.

It’s not just that S is being bullied either. It’s the fact that he can’t always read social situations. I can see how he’s a target but this is something that all the teachers should be aware of. Even the slightest accidental shove can make S upset. I often find myself explaining the actions of his friends to him, when he doesn’t quite understand.

I basically ended up pouring my heart out to the teacher. I shared our concerns that the process of getting S the extra help he needs has been too slow. Unfortunately budget cuts have meant the Educational Psychologist team have been cut in half so there’s a delay in them meeting with the school. Fan-bloody-tastic!

I think I got everything off my chest and I feel that something is being done now. While we were chatting, S went off into the Nursery garden to build a castle. Since then, he has seemed happier about school.

At the moment I’m not complacent though. On Wednesday I will take him to school expecting an update. His teacher has agreed to do a diary for me of things he’s enjoying (I know there are parts of school he loves) and the SENCO is chasing up the SEN side of things.

I just really hope this is a turning point.

My first post about poo…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 22:42:00 +0000

Now I don’t think you can truly call yourself a mummy blogger unless you’ve blogged about poo. All the greats have done it, like the fabulous More Than Just A Mother and Maternal Tales. I did one a while back (post, not poo, although I do poo…anyway…) about my beloved Twigs and his house training but have yet to talk about children’s poo. So I thought today’s events, and indeed those of the past few weeks were worthy of a post.

You see Baby B has decided to start potty training. After a hellish time potty training S, we decided to let B do it at her own pace and we had no intention of forcing it too early.

Her bestest friend A is about 6 mths older than B, and he is already potty trained and is even dry at night. Of course she wants to do everything he does, so will quite happily use the potty at his house. She has even used the potty a few times at ours and seems to be getting there in her own time.

When it comes to poos however, it seems the stranger the place, or the furthest it’s away from the potty or toilet, the better. We have found random poos all over the house and she has done it at friend’s houses too. They’re no ordinary poos either. B is very petite, but her poos are, quite frankly, ginormous.

This morning, while at my friend J’s house (her son is B’s boyfriend A), we thought the children were playing nicely upstairs. Until I heard A say, ‘Eww that’s dirty!’

I ran upstairs to find a huge poo on a chair. Plus some on the floor. PLUS, they had decided to squish DVDs into it too. Lovely.

Then this afternoon, B and I fell asleep under the blanket. It wasn’t until after my friend came over that I picked the blanket up and found poo smeared all over it. Now this could have been S, who has a habit of using anything but toilet paper to wipe his bum. The hand towel being his toilet paper of choice.

So we seem to have poo everywhere. I have found it smeared on the wall, on B’s hands or clothes, on S’s hands or clothes, smeared on me…it goes on.

I look forward to the day when both of my children are out of nappies and use the toilet properly. Until then, you’ll find me rushing around the house with antibac spray, cleaning up the nuggets my lovely children leave me.

Give me strength!

Little S is 5!…and other news…

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 22:10:00 +0000

I’ve kind of been a bit out of sorts lately. Nothing to worry about, just feeling a bit tired and crappy. The weather is changing, lots of my friends and their children have been ill. I haven’t felt like writing much this past week; I much prefer my nice new duvet and sleep :)

One important event on Friday was S’s 5th birthday. Being the all important little man he is, he didn’t just have 1 day of celebrations. Oh no. He had 3!

Friday was a school day. S told us that he wanted to wait until Daddy was home from work before he opened his presents, which I thought was very grown up of him. W finished early to be in on present opening time, then we went to McDonalds for a birthday tea. Where I ate a days Weight Watchers points in one go. Ooops!

On Saturday S had his swimming lesson…did I tell you he’d started lessons? Anyway, he’s been doing them at our local swimming club for the past term and is doing really well with one to one help. He can now get in and out of the pool himself and is gaining more confidence in the water.

In the afternoon the family came over for some present opening and cakes. S and myself spent a lot of time building his new Police Lego. Well I say S, really it was me! I love building Lego :)

Sunday was the big day. S had a bowling party at the local leisure centre. We invited 9 of his friends and it went so well. There was only one minor bowling ball related injury but all the children enjoyed it. S even got a strike!

S was desperate for a Tom and Jerry themed party as it’s his favourite cartoon at the moment, so HE found some party ware on the web! I bought some hats and blowers and the bowling alley allowed me to tape a Tom and Jerry banner on the wall. He even had a T&J birthday cake and little cakes.

Later that day S told W and I how much he loves us and how he really liked his birthday. I have to admit to shedding a tear, we were both so moved. It’s not something we hear from him very often, without prompting.

So S was thoroughly spoilt and it was a lovely weekend in the midst of a bad few weeks, which has seen my Gran being very poorly with Septicaemia. She is a lot better now luckily, and she is celebrating her 90th birthday today. There is still a chance that her leg may have to be amputated but we’re hoping that won’t happen. We’re going to visit her on Saturday and I can’t wait to see her.

My Twitter/Facebook followers will also have seen that I’ve passed my driving theory test. I’m nearly on my way to driving about without supervision. Now that is a scary thought!

Autism: Is there a cure?

noreply@blogger.com (The Babbling Mummy) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 21:33:00 +0000

I have never really asked myself this before. I just assumed there wasn’t. That a life without autism was not an option for Little S.

We have been having problems recently with getting Little S to settle in his new class. At first, it started off great and he loved it. Now he tells me every morning that he’s sick and his tummy hurts. He cries on the way to school and won’t let go of me when I try to leave. I’ve even had to cancel B’s music class because I can’t get there in time.

I have tried talking to him about it and he says that other children are horrible to him and that they push him off the computer. S is quite sensitive, so someone knocking into him can seem intentional to him. He is also very into the computer and would quite happily spend all day on there.

He has lots of friends, even if he doesn’t realise it. He has a wonderful new TA to help him and lovely teachers who insist that S is happy once at school.

I’m kind of at the end of my tether with it all. I’m torn. S is not stupid and I know he knows what to say to get out of doing something. I get on well with the teachers and I believe them when he says he’s happy. So why are we going through this every morning?

It’s because of this, the feeling of hopelessness that W and I get when we can’t solve a problem for S, that I’ve been wondering about cures.

I don’t Google autism a lot. It may seem narrow minded of me to say, but we have seen every specialist, read every leaflet, taken lots of advice, and I’d like to think that W and I are the experts on handling S and keeping him happy.

So when I googled, ‘autism cures’, I wasn’t surprised at the overwhelming feelings I got when seeing what could be done to ‘cure’ autism. There’s everything from stem cell treatment to changing diet to homeopathy and chiropractic treatment.

There’s arguments for and against cures but seemingly, no right answer.

I began to think about it differently. I asked myself if I actually wanted S to be cured.

The answer is, um, NO!

Without autism, S wouldn’t be himself. He wouldn’t be the boy we love. He has come such a long way. About 18mths ago, S couldn’t speak well or concentrate. 2 years ago we couldn’t read him a story at night without him pushing the book away.

So focussing on the positives…he can now:

Speak well.
JUMP! Not just up and down but over things too
Read several words. He is getting really good at his keywords from school.
Type and copy words on the computer.
Talk nicely to and play with Baby B.
Approach and speak to other children.
BUILD! If you want something built out of Lego then S is your boy.
Work the computer…better than Daddy (not quite as good as me yet!).
Nearly write his name.
Starting to learn how to swim…he needs one on one attention which I’m hoping our local swimming club can give him. He loves the water now after hating it last year on holiday.

There is so much more he can do. I think the things he can do far outweigh what he can’t do. We’ve worked on this as a family, reading to him, encouraging him, singing (much to his annoyance!), talking to him constantly and helping him to communicate.

For us that’s all he needs. Not a cure, but guidance. Just like any other child. He needs our love and support.

I’ve decided to arrange to see the school and tackle what’s happening with him now. I worry too much about being an oversensitive Mum who’s always down the school, but I have to do this. I want him to be happy and I am the person who can make that happen. I’m not quite sure how, but I’m going to give it a go!

I’ll keep you posted…