The Baby Memoirs

First.

2013-01-24T12:23:00.003-08:00

Today has been one of those days...

You know the kind, when the hours seem to drag on and you run out of things to do.

When you wake up extremely early to take on the day only to figure out the day has nothing in store for you.

This month has been one of those months...

The first month of the year. The beginning of a new semester. Tax season. New resolutions. Goals.

I'm really looking forward to this year. Forward. Because that's where we're headed right?

At least no matter what kind of day or month it is, I get to spend it with this guy.

Happy belated New Years to you and yours.

Untitled.

2012-12-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

So the past few weeks have been insane.

I've probably touched my computer twice in the past month.
Between the last days of crunching for finals, I also switched from part-time to full-time at my job. Hello ten to twelve hour days, goodbye to my already nonexistent social life and time with my boys.

I have missed scouring my favorite blogs, pinterest and etsy.
I feel like my days are somehow longer but the time is shorter.

I didn't even get around to doing Christmas cards to send out this year. I wanted to take a day to dress Nikolas up and take him to do the pictures myself with my awesome camera, that might I add, I have barely gotten to play with. I feel really guilty/sad about not having Christmas cards. There's always next year though right?

Besides all of that though, the days that I have been home have been awesome. Nikolas is such a chatter box. I can almost have a conversation with him. He's totally nuts about the Christmas tree and always asks us to turn the lights on for him. He gets the whole idea of presents and I think he will have a blast opening them.
I mean the kid is getting a brand new Mercedes and a tablet for Christmas...

The tablet I have nothing to do with, that was all dad's idea so that he would leave the iPad alone. I'm not sure how I feel about a two year old having a tablet yet. I mean he does pull up YouTube and activate the voice command so that he can say 'puppy'. I still think there is a thing as too much technology. That warrants a lot of arguments around these parts so more on that later.

On a cheerier note, I'll have both Christmas Eve and day off, paid. Score!

We will be all over the place on Christmas Eve. Christmas day we will enjoy a nice and relaxed morning at our home before heading out for brunch at a close family friend's home.

I'm really excited for the New Year, and slightly worried because it will probably be the busiest year of my entire life. I have never had to juggle a full time job, a child and full time school. Not only that but working around my husbands crazy EMT schedule will be really tough. So slightly freaking out, partly excited. Who am I kidding, I AM FREAKING OUT!

So happy holidays to all, stay safe and enjoy every minute of being with your families.

Parenting and Patience.

2012-11-12T11:06:00.001-08:00

The past few days Nikolas has been quite the little tyrant.
I feel like the only word coming out of my mouth is 'no'.

He demands everything and pitches the biggest tantrum when he doesn't get it. Arms flailing, legs kicking and everything.
He is also learning how to completely ignore us when we call for him. Seriously, when I call his name when he's doing something he shouldn't be, he just acts like he can't hear me and goes about his business. When I sit him down and try to talk to him, he completely refuses to look at me!

It's like he woke up and thought to himself, "Today I'm going to do absolutely everything I'm not supposed to".

Kids are a lot smarter then we think they are. They figure us out before we even do. They revel in our reactions, good or bad.
Besides a few little spurts here and there, he has always been a really laid back kid.
He's never been one for tantrums or not listening. When we're out in public everyone always praises on how good he is.

I think he's finally coming around to the 'terrible twos'. It's been a wake up call for us. He's getting very bold and assertive, and we know he is just trying to establish his independence, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've been researching on effective ways to discipline a toddler and I have a few things I'm going to be trying out in the next few days.
I find the hardest part to be consistent because, I myself tend to take a more relaxed approach to parenting.

Being a parent is so interesting because even when you've prepared yourself as much as you could, even when you thought that you read every book there was, you can't prepare for these kind of things when it actually happens. Kind of like pregnancy.

I've always had an idea for what I wanted to shape Nikolas into. What I have started to realize is that although I can guide him and set an example for him, I can't mold him into what I want to. He has his own personality and an entire world to explore. He will learn through his choices and through our examples and I want to always try to set the best examples.

I've never been a very patient person, and he is teaching me to be patient. To take a deep breath and see life through his little eyes. To see everything as an exploration and adventure. I teach him and he teaches me.

Please excuse the bruise under his eye. My little daredevil literally ran into a table during an intense game of 'I'm gonna get you'. Don't worry, he was tough and didn't even cry. He just looked at me and said and I quote, "Ouchies".

Little People.

2012-11-09T07:53:00.000-08:00

Today has been a day of reminiscing.
Everyone around me is having little babies and I am really excited and happy and slightly jealous?

I miss having a little newborn.
There's nothing quite like it in the entire world.
That little newborn smell.

With that being said, at this point I would rather reminisce then have another child. I've always thought I wanted at least three children. I think I only want Nikolas because I can't imagine having to share my love with another child. That sounds selfish but it's the truth.

I also know deep down that if I were to have another one, I would love that little baby just as much.

I'm a walking contradiction, I know.

I mean look at that little squishy newborn face.

I totally know that they should always sleep on their backs but he was just too darn cute to move. He was having tummy time and then he literally just laid his head down and passed out. Being a little baby is just so exhausting.

& Although newborns are like the best thing EVER, so is watching them grow. Watching their little personalities take shape. My absolute favorite memory of Nikolas is the time when he laughed for the first time. That deep belly laugh where they think whatever you're doing is like, the coolest, most funniest thing ever. It can seriously warm even the coldest heart. Baby laughs are a mixture of fairy dust and clouds, and love and and and...

To all the new mommies, Congratulations. Enjoy and hold on to every second. It goes by quicker then you could ever imagine.

Fall Festivities.

2012-11-03T15:43:00.001-07:00

Fall is finally upon us and we've thankfully got a break from our usual hot and humid weather. Fall is probably my favorite time of year, I love everything from making hot chocolate to all the warm neutral colors that start being displayed in everyone's homes.
This year, Nikolas is finally getting to enjoy everything the Holidays have to offer. He is a totally outdoorsy type of kid, a polar opposite from his hermit mother, and with this weather he couldn't be more excited about going outside.
We've already done so many fun things, from picking pumpkins to spending the day at our local Fall Festival. I think it's safe to say that he's absolutely loving this time of year too.
I can't believe he's already 19 months old. I feel like every day he wakes up a little taller, a little smarter and totally spunkier. Not that I'm biased or anything, but he is probably the coolest kid ever.
He is also a total handful. I know every mom likes to think their kid is borderline genius but he really is very smart and incredibly tech savvy. He knows how to work an iPad and an iPhone better then most adults and he learned everything just by watching us! It's really crazy to watch him pull up his favorite shows. We've been challenging him lately by hiding his favorite apps in different folders, which he finds in record time. I'm not sure if I should be really excited or scared!
On a totally different note, I've already started Christmas shopping. Too soon?
This year I plan on having an outrageous Christmas and I'm so excited that Nikolas will get to really take part in all the festivities.
Anyway, I plan on having a lot of changes happen to this blog in the next few months. Different Layout, lots of construction. Hopefully, by January (if I ever stop procrastinating), I would like to finally have hooked up with BlogHer. Crossing my fingers, and getting my blogging priorities straight.
And now, for some awesome pictures!

He never sat down long enough for me to get a really good picture. He was all about running in between pumpkins.

& Last, his Halloween costume which he was not thrilled about at all. Don't let that face fool you. Not only was he not happy about it, but this is the only full picture I have of him wearing his costume because he refused to look at the camera or stay still. Oh, little boys.

It's the little things.

2012-09-05T16:14:00.001-07:00

It's the little things that count when you're a mommy. We all have such a fast paced life that sometimes we just need to take a step back and enjoy the little moments that make getting through every day worth it.

It's his little dimpled smile every time he looks at me.

It's the way he says, "mama".

It's the way he cuddles his little butt up to me when he sneaks into my bed in the middle of the night.

It's the way he hold my face to give me a big kiss.

It's his little laugh.

It's the sound of his little feet running around the house.

It's the way he says, "ouchie" when he wants a kiss to make it all better.

It's the way he gets into everything he shouldn't and when I ask him what he's doing he looks at me like I'm crazy because he's totally entitled to explore cabinets.

It's the way he stills smells like a baby.

It's the little curls that form on his hair as it gets longer.

It's the sight of him in footie pajamas.

It's the way he brings me a water from the fridge that he opened all by himself.

It is everything about him.

It is him.

Terrible 2's at 1.

2012-08-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've had a few things I've wanted to blog about lately but we are in the process of moving so my time is very limited, at least until next week.
Something I really wanted to post about was discipline. Every parent has a different method.
I consider myself pretty easy going when it comes down to how I discipline Nikolas. I have a strict, no hitting, no yelling policy because I feel like when children get spanked or yelled at it makes them insecure, and for the most part they don't really understand why you, the parent, is hurting them physically or emotionally. Especially not this young.
I know plenty of people who completely disagree, and that is totally okay with me, because at the end of the day, I'm the mother of my child.
Anyway, I've also never really had to put my foot down with Nikolas until recently. He's always been a really good baby. He never really got into anything, which surprised even me because my mom has a bazillion baubles and such around the house. I never really had to do much as far as correcting his behavior.
I'm not sure where he picked it up from, but he started hitting. ALL THE TIME. At first I thought that maybe he was just testing the waters and seeing what my reaction would be. Then it became something that he would do anytime he wanted my attention, heck, he was doing it any time period. That's not even the worst. He thought it was hilarious!
I was stumped.
My mom suggested that I hit his hand hard when he hit me. I think that is insane. How would I be able to teach him not to do it when I'm doing it to him? I scoured blogs and Google to try to find a sensible solution.
Then it hit me, DUH, time-outs!
Which has really improved our problem. It's not perfect yet, but it is definitely a work in progress.
I read a few versions of how other parents do time-outs and this is what works best for us:

1. When he hits, or does anything he's not supposed to for that matter, I get down to his level, look him in the eyes and firmly warn him that if he does said thing again that he will get a time-out.
2. If he doesn't do it great! If he does, I put him in time-out, which happens to be in his "Pack N' Play" (he hated that thing even before time-outs) and I re-state why he is in time-out.
3. He usually protests and screams and throws a mini hulk tantrum but he calms down in under a minute. I know, I've timed it. Then I let him sit in there for another minute. So in all he's in there for about two minutes.
4. My favorite part, I take him out, give him a ton of kisses and hugs and re-state that he should not do whatever it is he did to land himself in time-out and that mommy loves him.

It's at the point now where all I have to do is give him a warning and he pretty much knows to cut it out. He only really pushes it when he's tired and cranky or he's just being a dare devil.
For now this is working really well for us and I hope it continues because if not I'll be back scouring my favorite mommy blogs for more advice.

How do you discipline your babes?

Seize the Day.

2012-07-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it can be really hard to deal with your own struggles while still feeling like an awesome mom.
This week has been to say the least, incredibly draining. I misplaced my phone. I've been having some family issues. I'm stressed about moving, or rather the lack of.
On top of that, my husband has had a really busy week between work and studying for tests so most of the home duties have been on me. Which I would usually just breeze through but I've been an emotional wreck. In turn, it makes me feel like I'm not being the greatest mom I could be.
One of the hardest things EVER about being a mom is dealing with mommy guilt. This week has been prime for those feelings. It can be something as little as being so stressed out that you let your kid watch TV just so you can sit down and take a breather. At that moment you're all like, "No big deal! I deserve to sit and relax for a few minutes!" but then at some point in that day your child decides not to listen when you say no to something and the first thought in your head is? "I-just-damaged-my-child-beyond-repair-because-I-let-him watch-some-senseless-show-on-TV-because-it-kept-him-still-for-like-10-minutes-and-now-he's-already-turning-into-a-rebel-and-oh-my-gosh-how-could-I-have-done-that-I-fail-as-a-mother." Too much for one breath? You bet.
How ridiculous is that really though?
Every single day us moms worry and guilt ourselves over the silliest little things.
It gets even worst when you've had an emotionally charged week, but then you remember.
This little boy loves me unconditionally. This little boy tried to soothe me, his own mother, while I was too busy crying about something silly. This little boy ran up to me while I was stuck in my own wallowing thoughts and gave me a kiss on my cheek and tried to say all better because that's what mommy does with him when he's upset.
Sometimes as adults we break down and we act like children. We cry instead of pulling ourselves together. Sometimes our kids are the ones soothing us. They are the ones showing you love and kindness and compassion. They remind us that we all fall down sometimes in life and scrape our knees, but life moves on. Wounds heal and we forget they were ever there in the first place. They teach us that it's okay to smile after you cry.
They are a reflection of us.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and tomorrow is a chance to start fresh. Such a small little person with such a big heart. Thank you, Nikolas.

Time Flies.

2012-07-17T19:41:00.003-07:00

So I'm not so great at committing. It's been over a year since I signed in. So instead of promising myself that I'm going to update it every day or every week, I'll just update when my heart desires.

Nikolas is now 1 year and 4 months old. I cannot believe how much time really does fly. When people would tell me to cherish every single minute of every single day I thought they were exaggerating. Having kids is such a weird experience. If it weren't for the pictures or videos from when he was born, I don't think I would really 'remember' him that way. When I close my eyes all I see is my adorable, almost a year and a half, smiling little nugget. He's brings so much laughter and joy into my life. He's walking and trying to talk and run and a million other things and I feel like I'm just getting older and life is passing me by. It's the oddest but most amazing experience.
I decided to update to do a little re-cap on the past year and it has been quite the year!

This was one of the first pictures that daddy took when he was only a few hours old. He was so alert and curious. I remember the first time I held him, his eyes locked on to me and I felt the most incredible sensation. It was like there were fireworks going off in my brain. At the same time I felt this carnal need to protect him. It was probably hormones, but every time someone would hold him I would sit there like an eagle staring them down thinking to myself, "Give me my baby back." I'm pretty sure I even cried a few times. It's so silly thinking back on it now but it felt so instinctive.

He was two months and some change when I caught this gem on camera. When he started smiling I would feel like Alex Mac when she would turn into that silver goop stuff. It was heart warming and awe inspiring. All from a little ten pound baby. Just because of a little smile or coo here and there. I remember thinking, if this is how I feel over a little smile, what will happen when he actually starts hugging me and kissing me and saying he loves me? Well, it's safe to say that I've probably spontaneously combusted a few dozen times since. It's almost too much for one heart to take.

I LOVE this picture. I LOVE that gummy smile. I LOVE the big strong arms holding him. I LOVE everything this picture stands for.

The older he gets, the more expressive his eyes are. The more they shine. The more he exuberates this light from within him. He's such a happy kid. He's so loving and has this kindness to him that I can't even explain. He's fun and gentle and rough all at the same time. He's such a boy. My boy.

He was SO happy at his first birthday party. He loved having a bunch of people fawning over him. At the same time he clung to me and his daddy the entire time! It was an awesome experience seeing him so curious over his toys and cake and everything else that comes with a birthday.

It's mind boggling how quickly they grow. One day everything they need depends on you holding them, carrying them, feeding them. The next they are walking and talking and playing by themselves. It's really that quick. A blink of an eye would be an understatement.

Nikolas Alexander, you are amazing. You are a breath of fresh air. You always smell like the best cotton candy in the world. Your laugh warms the coldest hearts. I am so proud to be your mother.

& to think, this was you...

Mind boggling, I tell you.

Fresh Start.

2011-07-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's been almost four months since my world has been turned completely upside down. Four months since my whole reason for living changed drastically. Four months since I found true happiness.
Being a mother is the most exquisite adventure anyone can ever be blessed to have.
When Nikolas was first born, I wasn't sure what my life would be like. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I would be a good mother or if I would like being a mother. It took me a while to settle in but I finally feel comfortable with where I am. My son is the most amazing little person. It's so bizarre how quickly they learn new things. Last month he was barely smiling at people. Today, he laughs, interacts and expresses himself with squeals of delight and kicks of joy. It's only been 30 days since he started really socializing. It absolutely stumps me that something so little and fragile is at the same time so strong and intelligent. The first 2 months with him was stressful. He was jaundiced so he was taken off breast milk. Then he was put back on it. Then taken off again, and so on. We discovered he was also lactose intolerant (not to men. After realizing it was my breast milk that he couldn't properly digest we went through a non stop formula switching fiasco. Finally we found something that worked for him and it's been smooth sailing since.
And now, without further interruptions, I would like you all to meet my babe; Nikolas Alexander!

P.S- By the end of my pregnancy I had totally given up on this blog, if you couldn't tell. I had these huge plans and ideas to take this blog in a really awesome direction, giving readers a view on what it's like to raise a baby at a young age. I wanted to have this as some sort of diary, a memoir, so that I could look back on it years from now. I'm returning to finish what I started :)

Introducing little Nikolas!

2011-04-11T14:18:00.000-07:00

I cannot for the life of me believe that the last time I updated I still had 55 days to go. My baby is already going to be a month old! I know, I'm terrible. So much for documenting every little detail of my pregnancy. Truth be told towards the end all I cared about was eating and sleeping much like a hibernating bear. Heres the deets though, I gave birth to my little pumpkin on March 16th, 2011 at 2:45am via Cesarian. Yes he was a bit early. No he was not the giant 8-10lb monster we all thought he would be. My little prince was only 6lbs 15oz. He was absolutely perfect and stole my heart from the second I heard his little cry.
The night he was born started off like any other night. I was laying in bed watching TV stuffing my face before going to sleep when I started having some intense back pains. I told my husband about it and he of course immediately starting freaking out. As they got worst I decided to just go ahead and head off to the hospital but before I left I took a quick shower. On our way to the hospital I thought that I may have overreacted a little and that this was just probably some silly pain that had nothing to do with the baby. When I got to the hospital they hooked me up to their tons of monitors and I kept asking them if they were going to admit me but they were all so vague about it. They had an ultrasound tech come and see how the baby was positioned and of course he was breech.
All of a sudden they starting prepping me for a C-Section and at 2:45am you were born!
I know, I'm so great with going into details but you know, being home with an 'almost' one month old has a way of making sure that you do whatever you need to do quickly and I really wanted to at least update this.
Anyway, being at home with a newborn can be so exhausting on some days. Especially days like today where he does everything he can to not sleep so he's super cranky and when I finally do get him to sleep he decides to wake up within an hour. Oh the joys of parenting.
Other days, he's a perfect angel and the day goes by so smoothly.
I do want to eat his little piggy toes every day though.
Basically, I love being a mother and I never thought I could really love someone so much. Cliche, but true. He's my entire universe and I can't even imagine my life without him. He's the greatest blessing in my life.
& now, mommy duty calls!

55 Days.

2011-01-30T11:24:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that in 55 days I'll be holding my little one. This upcoming Saturday is my baby shower and I can't wait, it makes everything just that much more real... Not that the jabs to the ribs aren't.
Tomorrow I have another 3D Ultrasound since the last one he didn't really cooperate. It's not his fault he was trying to sleep and we were bothering him :P
I've been feeling very 'blah' lately. I think I'm totally over being so huge and more then that, I'm over being told how huge I am. People can be so inconsiderate.
I'm super nervous about when the baby is actually born. As selfish as it sounds, right now he's only mine and I don't want to share him with the world. Maybe just his daddy. Other then that, I feel like it's going to be a super pain in the ass with everyone else. Mostly because I don't want unsolicited advice or to hear any ones opinions unless I ask which I know will not be the case. I also don't want to hear any snide remarks about my parenting style or anything of such matters. But alas, the world is full of people who think that just because they had a kid or two that you MUST hear them out and you're ignorant if you don't follow along with whatever their saying. Jeez, I sound bitter.
I'm still praying and hoping that a C-Section is not in my future. I hope I have a smooth delivery. I don't even really want an epidural even though I am meeting with an Anesthesiologist just in case. You never know how pain tolerant you're going to be until you're going through it.
I realize how uncommited I've been to this blog, totally not what I was going for but hey, life goes on. Hopefully as time goes on and the baby is actually here I'll have more to write about besides the usual, 'I'm huge', 'I'm over this', etc.
Until next time!

Tic Toc.

2010-12-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

The fear or labor and delivery is starting to sink in and not in a exciting and accepting sort of way. More of a scared shitless. Only about 3 months to go and I'm starting to freak out a little. My biggest concern is not having a C- Section. I refuse. Well unless of course it's absolutely needed.
But I'm really crossing my fingers that it won't be. I would like to do this au natural.
On a brighter note, his kicks only get more and more intense. I love feeling him. When he starts kicking if I put my hand wherever it is he's kicking I can feel him. It's like someone is knocking from the inside. Very cool.
My belly is also huge. I didn't think it would get this round and big so quickly. When I look down I can't see anything but a big ole' belly. How am I supposed to take care of my lady bits!?
Ridiculous I tell you. I've felt wonderful for the past few weeks but I have a bad feeling it's coming to an end all too soon. I'm already starting to feel a little nausea again and my feet are starting to look all swollen but that's not even the worst part. Every night I wake up a million and one times with crazy cramping and pain in my legs. I constantly have to switch sides. It's ridiculous and it hurts.
I also salivate at the thought of being able to sleep on my tummy again comfortably.
I feel like when Nikolas gets here I'm going to have such a rude wake up call. I sleep 12-13 hours every single day and then I nap 2-3 hours. Is that even remotely healthy?
I've also been told by my husband and mother that when I walk I look like a waddling penguin. Who wants to look like waddling penguin? Not me but apparently the more I try to fix it the more ridiculous I look so I guess it's just one of those like pregnancy quirks.
I realize this post is a little all over the place but it's only because I'm writing whatever comes to mind as I wait for my dear husband to get home from work.
Which happens to be at around 2:30 AM. All thanks to his new lovely work schedule.
Anywho, I think I've reached a max on rambling thoughts so until next time, (which will probably be after Christmas/New Years).

101 more days until I get to hold my sweet, sweet baby. I cannot possibly express how much I can't wait for that moment. It's hard to wrap my head around that I'm a mommy. But it's a wonderful thought.

Ciao!

Baby Nikolas.

2010-11-17T14:48:00.000-08:00

I think I have my little boy figured out. Number one, he hates when I lay on my right side. Number two, water with lemon gets him moving like crazy and number three, he starts his day and wakes up right when I decide to get some shut eye.
Feeling him move is the most amazing and weird feeling in the world. I used to worry that he wasn't moving enough but that problem has most definitely fixed itself. He's always moving! Sometimes it even catches me off guard and scares the crap out of me. Like I'll just be sitting there and all of a sudden he'll kick and totally gets me by surprise. His daddy has also been able to feel him moving. Just last night Nikolas had been really still and then I had his daddy put my hand on my belly where he was and he started moving like crazy. I also think he moves a lot when he hears his daddy's voice. I can barely even wait to see him. I imagine what he looks like every single day. I think about holding him and kissing his little face. Ahhhh, I can't wait!
December 30th I'm going to have a 3D/4D ultrasound and I'm very excited about it. I can bring up to 8 people with me and they'll make a DVD of the session and a whole bunch of other awesome things.
I also have the baby shower date set which will be February 5th although I haven't mentioned it to anyone yet besides my husband and aunt of course because she will be throwing it.
I already have my registry completely done and I feel like I should have waited or like I'm doing everything too quickly. I don't know, I guess it's just because the baby shower is still some time away.
Even though it feels like time is going by slow at the same time it's going too quickly. I'm already almost 22 weeks! 18 weeks to go.

-Now I shall go try to take a little nap since my boy seems to have settled down a bit. Until next time!

It's a Boy!

2010-10-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to announce that at 8:25 am, I found out I was carrying a little dude!
I have no words to explain how ridiculously excited I am, this is so awesome. I know it might be a little early but the registry is done at Babys R Us already. I can't wait for my baby shower. I can't wait to hold little Nikolas. He was such a kicker this morning. Wouldn't stay still for more then a second but he most definitely wasn't shy! He has his little legs open so visibility was easy. He looks so different from his last ultrasound. He actually looks like a baby! Cute little baby face and chubby belly.
I am so anxious for the next few weeks to fly by. I wish I could just fast forward. I also wish I just won the lottery so I could run out and buy a million things. AHHH.
Overall today was awesome. It's really great to know what you are carrying so you can stop referring your little baby to 'it'. Now I can rub my belly proudly and call him by his name, Jellyfish...er... I mean Nikolas.

-The lack of posts is totally due to the lack of news or anything to write about. I got over my cold after a WEEK! Can you believe it? A whole miserable week. I have come to the conclusion that I will probably only post once a week or whenever news arise. So check back once a week!

Jinx, you owe me a soda.

2010-10-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

So I did jinx myself. I've spent the past four days coughing up a lung. My body has been aching and the sinus headaches continuous. On the bright side, my throat doesn't hurt as bad as it did since yesterday. Still a little sore, but overall a little better. I also had a doctors appointment yesterday where my doctor decided he wanted to officially figure out how far along I was because everyone was telling him something different. The nurses were going by my last period which is totally irregular and made my due date a ridiculous February something. I was going by my free ultrasound I had gotten where they told me I was due April 8th. But my good doctor wanted a for sure type of answer so he did a quick ultrasound and measured my little baby at 17 weeks and 4 days. Talk about exciting!
Which means... drum rolls please!
I GET TO FIND OUT THE SEX OF MY BABY NEXT WEEK!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I'm so excited. It's all I think about. I wish the 27th would just get here already. I'm so anxious, nervous, happy and a million other things. I'm crossing my fingers that the week just flies by. When the 27th comes it's seriously going to be like my birthday, Christmas and wedding day combined.
I can start buying things accordingly! I can start the nursery! I can do anything!
Best of all I can start calling my baby by it's name and not he/she (which changes every other day) or jellyfish. Which is adorable yes, but being able to call my little baby by it's name will be so much more special.

-And now I'm off to do the happy dance until next Wednesday. I can barely wait!

Cough Cough.

2010-10-15T18:43:00.001-07:00

So the past three days have been terrible. I have this super annoying sore throat that doesn't want to leave me alone. During the day when I get moving about, I barely notice it but nights are a totally different story. Falling asleep is almost impossible and I wake up several times a night. It feels like someone took sand paper and sanded down the walls of my throat. When I wake up in the morning, I am completely hoarse. I can barely swallow and the soreness is like a punch in the stomach.
Basically I've been miserable. It has sucked to the millionth power. The weird part is that it's only my throat. My body overall feels fine. I hope I didn't just jinx myself.
On a lighter note, someone I know told me they felt their baby moving at around fifteen weeks and today I hit fifteen weeks exactly! So I'm pretty excited. Also it feels good to know that I'm almost half way through my pregnancy. I can't wait to meet my little baby.
Also, my mom has gone a little OCD shopping for baby clothes. She's all obsessed with buying tons of baby clothes. It's kind of cute to see her so excited. Even though she walked in the other day with a pink jumpsuit swearing up and down that it was a girl. Hope she kept the receipt just in case!

-Does anyone know of any good home remedies for sore throats?

Battles of the Sexes.

2010-10-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

I always wanted a boy first. I wanted to shower my little boy with race cars, legos, bionics etc. I wanted him to be Tonka tough. A boy first so that when I had a little girl she had a protector. Someone to look up to. After my ultrasound I had this strange feeling that it was a boy. Except I wasn't excited as I thought. Secretly I had been fantasizing about all things pink and frilly. I even prematurely made a registry based on the fact that it was a girl. I know, sounds ridiculous. I have no idea why I became so set on a girl. I'm going to blame it on hormones.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited either way. I'll love a little boy just as much as a little girl. I think little dudes are absolutely adorable. I just feel like I'm on a teeter totter with the sex of this baby. One day I'm all like "HECK YES! BOYS!" and the next I'm crossing my fingers for a little lady. I can imagine a little boy outside with his daddy learning how to toss a football just as much as I can imagine myself sitting on the floor with a little girl playing with dolls and makeup and watching Beauty and the Beast.
I can see myself dressing a little boy with cute little Vans slip-ons and a striped hoodie and then I see myself dressing up a little girl in a summer dress with bows in her hair. I am a serious case of indecision.
But at the end of the day, my decision doesn't matter because my little baby already has a set destiny and I can't wait to be a part of it. All I can hope for is for a healthy, happy child.
So for now, I'm just going to sit back and wait.
I can't wait to meet my baby boy/little lady.

-I realize how nutty I sound in this post. It's the hormones I tell you!

Lazy Days.

2010-10-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'll admit it. I've been uber lazy about posting new posts lately. I swore to myself that I would post at the very least every two days and I have no excuse. I know I don't but what can I say, I'm a pro at procrastinating . It's not like I do much during the day but I still manage to do a million little things that prevent me from being on the computer for too long.
Anyway, today marks an important milestone. I am officially 14 weeks. It seems like time is flying by ridiculously fast.
Wasn't I just 4 weeks yesterday? At the same time I feel like time has gone so slow. I've known I was pregnant since I was 4 weeks and 10 weeks later, it kind of feels like I still have an eternity to go. I wish I could feel a little kick or two already! I know, I know, I should be cherishing these weeks because in about four to five more months I'll miss this easy stage of pregnancy.
I do consider myself lucky though. I haven't had many dramatic symptoms. No nausea, no pains, nothing. My boobs don't even hurt! Which makes me super happy because sore boobs = bad mood.
I have another doctors appointment on Tuesday and I'm so not excited about it. Blood work and total loss of decency (which I hear I should get used to) but then the following one I get to see my baby again, which makes me ridiculously excited.
Overall the past few days have been boring to say the least. Nothing new or interesting to write about. I'm once again on a chili binge and that about covers anything exciting.
Lately, I've been thinking about going on a babymoon to take advantage of these pain free few weeks.
All I have to do now is convince the husband :)

-I will be making an extra special effort to return to my regular posting schedule. I want to look back in a year or so and read all these little tidbits of information. Well, now I bid you all au'revoir!

You're Real.

2010-10-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

So this past Thursday I had my second ultrasound. This time it was way more then just a little gestational sac. It was my little baby! The second he came into view I had a rush of so many feelings. I was excited, happy, overwhelmed, nervous and so many other feelings. I realized the very moment I saw the little flutters of his heartbeat that he was real. I know that sounds odd but up until then, I obviously knew I was pregnant but I didn't one hundred percent believe it.
Another surprising discovery that I made was this oddly strong gut instinct that it was a boy. Hence my "he" references. Now I could definitely be wrong but it came over me so strong that for now, I'm going to stand by it. Anyway, seeing my little baby move and jump made me ecstatic. It was also surreal to watch him move so much and not feel anything. I can't wait to feel little kicks. I could have seriously watched him on that ultrasound for days on end. It was so amazing.
How incredible to see that something is thriving inside of you. Up until my ultrasound I had been doing my best to eat well, etc. but now I feel like I have to make sure that everything I eat is decently healthy because I want to make sure he's getting the best of everything. It's so crazy that just seeing the ultrasound makes such a difference.
Now I wasn't planning on doing this but I'm really excited to share my favorite snapshot from the Ultrasound so here goes.

When the ultrasound started I think he was asleep because he was all curled up into a little ball. Then all of a sudden he jumped and they got this snapshot of his looking right out as if saying "Excuse me, can I have some privacy?". It was adorable and made my heart skip a beat.

-Sorry about not posting for 3 days, after Thursday I've kind of been in a happy daze. I hope you guys enjoyed the ultrasound picture!

Food is my Best Friend.

2010-09-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

I swear my head is going to turn into a cup of chili one of these days. All I think about eating and do eat is Wendy's Chili.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner = Chili.

At the very beginning of my pregnancy I was super addicted to Zesty Nachos from Denny's. You couldn't even mention food without me talking a million miles an hour about how delicious and perfect their Nachos were. Somewhere between 6-8 weeks I found this deep disgust and hate for Denny's which in return led to my love of all things Chili. I feel like a nutcase when I wake up in the middle of the night after having a dream of swimming in Chili. Pregnancy makes some of us so wacky!

Another craving I've been having is Brazilian food but not just any Brazilian food. I want restaurant Brazilian food. Sure my mom can probably cook me up some but it just wouldn't be the same in my mind. With that being said, I'm making my husband drive down to Miami on Saturday in honor of my preggy cravings. Well it's not all for me, he's never really been to the good parts of Miami so him and I are going to spend the day at Bayside, and then make our way to what I hear is a fabulous Brazilian Restaurant called Camilas.

When I first mentioned driving down to Miami he basically flat out said no. I just wanted to make a trip, eat and drive back home. Which is quite a drive mind you. He still stood his ground so I mentioned Bayside and alas the bargaining began. We could go to Miami if I agreed to spend the day at Bayside so he could get to know everything. Well considering I love Bayside it wasn't a hard bargain. And that girls, is how you compromise ;)

So until Saturday I will be sitting here anxiously and hungry for some Brazilian food.

-Ciao!

Friends.

2010-09-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

A night or two ago I realized just how different my life is, and will be.
I went out with friends and just being out made me realize so many different things. I don't think I fit with the group of people I used to hang out with anymore. I'm not sure if it's because I lead such a different life or just because I've changed and grew up, just a tiny bit. It was so odd sitting there listening to conversations about the most recent party or who is dating who all while sipping Sprite while Margaritas and Beers were passed around. It was a bitter-sweet realization to know that my life will always be so different from those around me especially after this baby is born. I don't party or hang out until 3 am anymore, but that's my choice and it's something I've learned to embrace. I don't really care if Jill is cheating on Jack or if she slept with Will and Bill. I much rather stay at home and cook dinner for my husband who works his ass off everyday to support this growing family, because family is what it's about to me. It's the foundation of what my Husband and I are trying to build so that when this baby comes into this world it will have all the love and care that it needs and I will sacrifice anything for that.

-The past couple of days, pregnancy has also been a total pain. I'm not sure if it's because my immune system is so weak but I've felt like a train wreck. Crossing my fingers it doesn't last long.

Pregnancy Perks.

2010-09-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

Today I finally received my order of clothes from Destination Maternity. For those of you who have never heard of it and are pregnant, it's definitely worth checking out.
Anyway, with the clothes I was surprised to find a little gift bag that contained a ton of coupons and best of all a $20 Shutterfly gift card for new moms. Super excited over here!
Now I've never used Shutterfly but I hear from family that it's really cool. You can upload pictures and create organized albums (which I'm excited about because I loooove chronologically organizing pictures) and you can create birth announcements, photo books, mugs and all that jazz. So I know this gift card will come in handy.
Now I'm not one to do this but I fell in love with this top from Destination Maternity so I just have to share it with all of you because it's beyond adorable and very comfy. I'll include the link to it at the end of this post.
Also in my little gift bag there was a really neat John Frieda sampler. I've always been one to get way too overexcited about beauty samplers so this was a real treat and it smells like heaven.

-I just wanted to share my little bit of good news for the day :) I guess pregnancy does have its perks!
Destination Maternity Link: Destination Maternity Top

Random Ranting.

2010-09-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

I find myself to be a very boring person. I'd much rather hang out on the couch all day munching on snacks and watching movies then getting all pretty to go somewhere. Maybe it's just due to the million pounds I've put on since I've been pregnant. I know how important exercise is when you're pregnant but it's been the last thing on my list. I can't find ANY motivation whatsoever. Has anyone ever been like that?
My other little problem seems to be that my belly seems to be way too big to be 16 weeks. Everyone tells me. Have you any idea how annoying it is to hear people say, "Wow, you must be carrying twins in there!". It makes me want to tear all my hair out. But those are still yet miniscule problems.
The most ridiculously frustrating problem I'm currently having is that I can't see anything 'down there'. I know TMI, but what do I do!? It's a nightmare enough on it's own when I have a hard time shaving my legs and seem to miss a bunch of those little spots and now I have no idea what's going on in the jungle.
I'm going to be blunt here and just say, fuck my life.

-My apologies for the crazy pregnant woman rant. It's just been a very frustrating day in regards to feeling beautiful. Thank you pregnancy!

Hibernation.

2010-09-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

Not that I was ever a morning person but 2pm? That's a little ridiculous.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I get up to pee about 20 times per night. Or maybe it's because I can only come close to sleeping when the sun is about to rise. Oh the joys of pregnancy, but that's not even the best part. Even after waking up at 2pm I can STILL manage to squeeze in a nap by 5.

My body has baffled me.

I'm usually one of those ants in the pants type of people. Napping was long forgotten by Kindergarden. This probably sounds silly, me going on and on about how much I'm sleeping but it's truly amazed me.

-No worries, I get up long enough to munch on something and take my vitamins like a good girl :)