The Babies Fantastic

To My Little Linc

2012-09-30T11:40:00.002-07:00

To my sweet baby boy as you are turning 9 months old:

Time has gone by so fast. I wish I could just live every step of your baby-ness over one more time.

I never thought I would have a son. There isn't a valid reason for it. With all of the baby girls in my family, it seemed luck-wise like we just wouldn't have a boy. Now that I have you, I know that there is really no difference between girls and boys as babies, necessarily. Well, besides the obvious. You and your sister have very different personalities, but none of them seem tied to what sex you are.

You have always been so relaxed and happy. I went through so many feelings when I was pregnant with you; feeling like I was losing a special bond with your sister and worrying my attention for her would be split too much. But we have all adapted beautifully. Your birth was so lovely. You were such a calm and easy newborn. You worried me with your torticollis and plagiocephaly, but your dad and I diligently repositioned you and we were overjoyed when we found out after months of work, you didn't need a baby helmet. But you still would have been killer cute with a baby helmet.

I love your fluffy hair. It is so fine and soft, and now it has a little bit of curl. I love your little ears, and your little point on your left ear. I just want to nibble them all of the time. I love your wrist-less arms and your rolls. I love your neck and your belly and your baby butt. I love your sweet little voice. You're so adorable as you now crawl around the floor and follow your big sister. I love to watch her kiss you so hard that she smooshes your face. I've been overwhelmed with joy watching how much you naturally have always loved each other. It kills me when you make each other laugh. My heart melts at how you always smile so big at me when I smile at you.

I'm sad you are almost over your baby phase and that you are quickly approaching toddler-hood. But I also very much look forward to watching how you grow. You are much more fearless than your sister was. You are also so quick and strong. Your dad and I are always on the lookout for things on the floor that you will inevitably put in your mouth. You're crawling all over the house now.

I love you, my precious baby boy.

Life with two kids is hard

2012-08-31T22:35:00.001-07:00

It is.

As far as my life and responsibilities go, I feel like I am just barely holding it all together. This has been a period of my life that has also been very enlightening. I've always taken pride in my ability to prioritize with maximum efficiency and accuracy. However, I have been exposed to just how much time i spend obsessively cleaning for no real benefit. Ava destroys everything within 30 minutes, and Lincoln is freshly mobile. I'm lucky to walk through the house without twisting my ankle from stepping on some crap on the floor.

So, I am going to try really hard to just let it go. Let it go! As long as it isn't hurting anyone or anything, just let it be. And maybe replacing that glass tabletop that attracts grassy fingerprints 10 times a day will help, as well. We rarely entertain. No one will know any better if there is dust of the stove hood, or the baseboards are fuzzy, or if there is Dora yogurt smeared on the LCD.

It's a funny position I am in, being the "breadwinner."

I hate that phrase. I just imagine the working member of the family walking in the front door with a satin sash that says "Winner of Bread 2012" and pumping the loaf above their head. What does that make my husband? He is up to his ears in baby crap and cooking and cleaning and listening to screaming and crying all day, while still trying to learn new and interesting things. That is much more than "bread" winning. At least the end result is that my family "wins" and is happy.

In my position, very little relies on my strengths and abilities at this point in my career. It's a lot of luck, and being at the right place at the right time. I am not responsible for tiny human beings being valuable contributors to society. That is something money can't really buy. I can barely manage to get grown adults to be contributing members of a workplace team. No one is more of a "winner" than the other -- and if there is one, it certainly is not me. We are simply playing to our strengths given our current situation. Isn't that all anyone can do? Isn't that all that makes sense?

I am just glad things have been as stable as they have been. I am such a worrier, though. Every night my dreams are full of CRAZY things. I often can't fall back asleep at 3am while thinking about something I didn't have time to think about earlier in the day. It's not debilitating (and I do things to even myself out, like my exercise). But it is a far cry from stresses I remember from previous life phases. One very faint, barely-audible cry.

I am truly happy, though. I have more than I ever thought i would. I hate it when people get overly-thankful or appreciative, having Oprah moments. But I really can't look at all I have without realizing how great it all is. It really is.

More photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/theredfantastic/

Good stuff

2012-05-13T07:36:00.003-07:00

Lincoln is growing fast, seemingly overnight many times. His 4-month stats:

26.5" long

18 lbs 2 oz

17" head circumference

He is in size 3 diapers and 12 months in clothing. He is only behind his sister at the same stage in weight -- she was half a pound heavier at the same age, but she was the same length and had an additional half inch on her head.

He loves to grab things and put them in his mouth. And so it begins! He can now roll from front-to-back and back-to-front and has much better head control. His torticollis (neck strength imbalance) is gone.

He will also NOT NEED A CRANIAL HELMET!!!!!! I am so excited about this, I could dance. Our repositioning efforts has brought his cranial vault asymmetry down to 7mm, and his asymmetry index is now low enough that he is in the middle of the mild range for plagiocephaly, meaning treatment would be suggested only cosmetically if we wanted. The insurance already approved it based on his old measurements, but I think we are going to pass. We have an appointment in a month to see how the progress is then, but even based on today's measurements, I don't think I would do it. I just love kissing his little head too much to do that for so little benefit.

It's amazing though… at SCOPe orthotics (which is great by the way!) they have a book where they show the outline of the top of kids heads before and after treatment. Lincoln's lines from when he first came in to now without a helmet look like the success cases in the book WITH helmets! I guess it is a testament to how malleable their little skulls are, and how if you catch it early enough anything is possible with repositioning. The therapist at SCOPe was telling us "you guys are doing awesome!" as she was evaluating the scans and seemed very happy, even though they were losing a helmet sale ;) I owe a lot to our pediatrician, who has been giving us very sound advice and reassurance through all of this. I seriously love her, she is the best.

Ava is doing well, and is scaring us with her brainpower. She is putting together pretty complex puzzles like a pro. She regularly announces that she is a Jedi, or an artist. Sometimes a Jedi-artist. She enjoys painting still, but now likes to put her fingers in it and then touch everything else. She is definitely hitting some hard spots I have heard about all 3-year-olds. Sometimes she just doesn't know how to communicate what she wants (or doesn't know what she wants?) and it can be really frustrating. And loud. Daddy Fantastic handles it well and I look to him for tips on how to deal, since he does the most of it. Her favorite book right now is a version of this one and she is so cute reading it with us. She looks at my face for a clue on if the combination is right and the anticipation on her face is so funny. When I say "NOOO!" she crinkles up her nose and says "NOOOO, THAT'S STILLY."

My weight loss progress has slowed down to a crawl, but I don't really care that much for now. I remember with Ava around 6 months it just flew off without any effort because she was eating so much I could barely keep up. Work is feeding us well, so I blame that. I feel like I LOOK close to my pre-pregnancy weight, even though I am 19 lbs heavier. I took my first level 2 Bar Method class on Saturday and boy, did it kick my butt! I haven't worked out that hard in ages and I am sure adding one of those a week will get me to where I want to be quickly.

Work is going pretty well for me right now. It's sort of a rollercoaster overall but having my work friends to talk to about it all makes it pretty bearable. So does coming home to my gorgeous family!

Already losing my touch

2012-04-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

DaddyFantastic is now better at soothing Lincoln than I am, for the most part.

I've been back to work for 2 weeks. It has been about like I expected it to be, based on being in a very similar situation last time I returned from maternity leave. Things are starting to make SOME sense a this point, so that is good. I am trying to take it all in stride, and not take anything too personally.

I took Lincoln to Cranial Technologies based on a lot of internet research I did on Lincoln's head issue (plagiocephaly). It was a nice experience, and it was a free consultation. Based on their measurements, Lincoln has what they would categorize as a "moderate-to-severe" case of it. They did recommend a helmet and contacted my insurance. Not surprisingly, my HMO does not cover it as Cranial Technologies is out-of-network. The cost without insurance is $3800, and there was a high chance that he would need a second one once he outgrew the first, bringing the grand total to $7600.

I saw my pediatrician again after this. She has a son who went through a lot of very serious medical problems at a very young newborn age, who had a case of plagiocephaly worse than Linc's. She said he got rid of it with very aggressive repositioning and no helmet. She is not against helmets, but she felt her son had been through so much with his surgeries that she couldn't bear any more medical interventions. She wants to see Linc again at 4 months and then treat him if necessary. 4 months is really the minimum age for starting treatment according to most.

The provider that is in-network is SCOPe orthotics, makers of the STARband. They have an office at the children's hospital where they do a TON of this, so we have a consultation there on Wednesday.

It seems anecdotally, people have the best results with Cranial Tech for this condition. However, the only BAD experiences I have read about with SCOPe were from locations with orthotists with very little experience fitting cranial helmets. That's presumably not a problem at the location we will be visiting, but I have a list of questions I got from one of the plagiocephaly online groups I found that should give me a better sense of things. My doctor said if we feel weird about it at all, she would help us try to get the insurance to cover the one from Cranial Tech.

So, I feel good about things. The STARband takes a bit longer than a DOC band (from Cranial Technologies) in many cases, but not a whole lot in the younger babies. The younger the child is, the easier they are to treat, since their heads are growing so fast and are so easily shapable. In either brand helmet, we should be looking at a relatively short treatment time, if we need it (which I am pretty sure we will).

DaddyFantastic is doing a phenomenal job. Lincoln seems to be adjusting really well, and doesn't seem to be having any issues with me being gone. Which is sort of sad, but I am happy he is happy. I don't want him to be miserable without me, or anything.

That's about all that has been happening around here. The week before I went back to work, we made a jaunt to Las Vegas because my sister went into preterm labor, but it stopped and she is fine now. We are all hoping she has no more incidents for the rest of her pregnancy! Our niece/cousin Clara also just turned 2, so a big shout-out goes to little Clary.

2012-03-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

I can't think of anything too specific to report, so I will just think of things from the top of my head.

Ava seems so much older all of the sudden. She is really into pretend play with anything and everything she can find. She is also a complete parrot, she can and will repeat anything anyone says. She seems to also have a pretty good long-term memory now, at least it is better than it used to be and it goes pretty far back.

Linc is just getting bigger and bigger. He seems to be filling out quite a bit and is gaining some chunk to his arms and legs. For many weeks now he has been having a nightly fussy period that lasts a few hours, starting at 6:30pm (it was 5:30 before the time change). White noise and movement seem to help a lot. Right now he is in the swing asleep with an iPhone playing a white noise app in his ear. Haha.

His head is evening out a bit, but it's still uneven overall. It's encouraging the shape has changed in just the few weeks we have been repositioning him, so I am optimistic.

I am down to 25 lbs left to lose (of a total gain of 65) to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. I treated myself to some nicer workout clothes, which has been motivating me to keep working out a lot. I was wearing ratty old thin stuff I wore when I was pregnant, and don't fit into my old workout gear yet. I looked back in this blog and saw that after Ava, I was down to my original weight within 4 months, which is crazy (but I gained 50 with her). It's not going to be like that this time, but that is okay. I feel great right now.

Some pictures as of late:

2 Months, 3 years

2012-03-03T20:36:00.002-08:00

Lincoln is now 2 months old, and Ava is 3 years old!

We had a wonderful visit with DaddyFantastic's parents last week. Ava trapped her grandma many times in her room, demanding she play with her quite a bit. Her grandma always did so! She had a good time. We also had a small party for Ava at our house, which was really great. She had a very good time. For some reason she furiously crammed a cracker in her mouth as we were singing to her, then when it was time to blow out the candles she was spraying crumbs trying to blow. It was hilarious.

Lincoln had his checkup and vaccinations on Thursday. His stats:

14 lbs 7 oz

24'' long

16'' head

He is exactly the same size as Ava was at the same age, except 1 lb 3 oz heavier. He is in 6-9 month clothing.

Since I only have milk supply on one side, Linc is on his right side more often than not. It turns out it is making his head mold a little unevenly. I am curious if Ava had the same thing happen, as I only had supply on the same side with her as well. She had tons of hair to hide any skull deformations, though. Anyhow, I brought up the slight unevenness to the doctor and she agreed she sees some and advised up to try to get him to his other side as much as possible for the next 2 months. He also favors the same side and turns that way when you put him down, his neck muscles are a bit tight when you try to turn him the opposite way. She said if that doesn't correct itself that physical therapy may be needed to get his neck strength evened out.

If by 4 months the shape of his skull has not improved, the doctor mentioned a cranial molding helmet may be needed. This freaked me out a bit, but hopefully it doesn't turn into that. She did not go into detail what he needs to have wrong exactly for that to be necessary, but I am just hoping we don't have to go there. It's not a huge deal if he does, but it's more of a deal than I care to have to encounter.

Lincoln is smiling a ton, really likes people to talk to him and likes to coo in response.

Only 3 weeks of maternity leave are left for me. I am anxious about returning back to work, specifically returning to what will be a lot of the same people but a new company and a new role. I had to do the same thing returning to work after having Ava, funnily enough. It was extra stressful. I don't look back on those work days fondly, to be honest. I hope it is a bit different this time.

We have a friend visiting us this coming week, which we are really looking forward to. We don't have any specific plans beyond that, except for some more doctor and dentist appointments to get out of the way before I will have a more difficult time getting out and doing all of that stuff. I will miss these days at home. It has been a priceless experience being here with my kids and my husband and having just them to focus on.

Overdue updates

2012-02-12T18:15:00.000-08:00

Linc is 6 weeks old! I have no clue what his stats are, but he is now completely filling out 3-6 month sized clothes. I am guessing he is around 13 lbs. We will know more on March 1st, his next checkup.

Ava will be 3 on the 24th. It's hard to believe! DaddyFantastic's parents are coming to visit that week and we are excited to see them. It will be their first time meeting Lincoln.

I survived a nasty bout of mastitis and another cold. Linc got the cold too, but he didn't seem to suffer too much.

Ava has zero interest in potty training and it is extremely frustrating. We are working on motivating her and giving her incentives, but she is just taking a lot longer than I would like on this milestone. She refuses to go #2 on the potty (and knows when she needs to go) and has absolutely no control over her bladder and doesn't appear to understand the urge to go #1. Many suggest a weekend "bootcamp" where you throw out diapers and just force them into it, but that goes against my parenting style completely and I can't bring myself to do it. Maybe if she is still in diapers at 3.5, I will revisit that.

We drove to 29 Palms to meet with friends and celebrate my 29th birthday. It went very well, we all had a great time.

We drove to Vegas to visit my sister and my mom, and it also went off without a hitch. The drive takes 6 hours with two 30-minute pit stops, which was all that was necessary with the baby (much to my surprise). It was Lincoln's first time meeting his Gamma and Ava had a blast as always playing with her cousin Clara.

However, I don't see any long road trips in our future. Being home feels very nice.

I have lost 5.6 pounds over the last 4 weeks and hope to keep that up. I feel like I am getting into much better shape thanks to Bar Method, and I am able to do a lot more in class. I couldn't do a plank (without dropping to my knees and having to hold it there) at all when I went back and now I can hold one on my toes for 40 seconds. Other abdominal exercises are still pretty difficult, but I know the strength will return soon. My stomach is also starting to flatten out, finally. I still have a long way to go, but it has not been long thus far and I am happy with how everything is going.

3 weeks old

2012-01-21T20:01:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe our little Linc is 3 weeks old!

He has remained a pretty chill little dude. He is definitely growing. Most of his newborn outfits don't fit anymore, so I think he has gained considerable length. He also looks thicker. Newborn diapers definitely don't fit well anymore, thankfully we didn't stock up on that size and have been using 1s mostly anyway. They hold more pee, which he makes A LOT of.

He grunts a lot every so often, I assume it is while trying to make a bowel movement. It's comical. He also makes very cute little noises exhaling while sleeping. Not always, but I do hear it often.

He LOVES baths. It makes my heart hurt watching him, he is just so sweet and I am trying to hold on to these memories of him being this small.

The only night I haven't slept since we got home was during the first week when my cold kept me up. He sleeps for 2-4 hour stretches and I barely have to wake up to nurse him. I love cosleeping! I mean yes, I do semi-wake-up probably 40 times a night every time he makes a sound, or to make sure he is breathing and he is in a safe position. But it's all a blur and I feel rested when I wake up for good. Ava actually DID NOT sleep at night on average the first half of her life (and we coslept) and it did keep me up, so I am definitely getting some good karma behavior this time around from Linc. It is not just the sleeping situation.

I am feeling a lot better. I started WeightWatchers last week and lost 2 lbs my first week. They have calculation options for nursing mothers so I am definitely getting enough calories while still cutting enough to lose weight at a safe pace. DaddyFantastic has been making great healthy recipes and I really don't feel like I am on a "diet."

I also went back to Bar Method. I was so happy to be back that I went 5 days in a row, which is something I had never done before! I was SO sore, especially on day 2… and day 3 was the worst, it was almost too much soreness to get through the workout. By day 4 I was feeling much better and day 5 was awesome. I would have gone again today, but we had plans. I feel self-conscious with my extra 35 lbs I am carrying around and my deflated-balloon lumpy tummy, but it gets easier each day to be okay with that for the time being. I also do see little changes every few days or so, and know I am doing all I can to try to get back to the shape I am used to being in. The great thing is I FEEL like I did before I got pregnant, and that is what matters.

Ava is being Ava. I can't say I have noticed much more change from her lately. She does seem to constantly test her boundaries and is getting very bad about defying us on purpose, which is very hard to deal with. Unfortunately she chooses to test those boundaries with things related to Linc (touching him in a way that is annoying him or may hurt him and not stopping when we say to stop, for example) and I have ZERO tolerance for that and usually end up reacting more harshly than I otherwise would. I am hoping it passes. She still loves being a big sister, though. Our pediatrician said this week she will probably realize Lincoln is here for good, but honestly I really do think she knows that and has known that.

Plumping up!

2012-01-11T17:59:00.000-08:00

We had to go in for a weight check on Tuesday and the results were:

11 oz gained in 7 days
Weight: 8 lbs 9 oz

I was doubting myself but I am so glad he is gaining "like a Ritchie," as his pediatrician said.

She also noted it is "scary" how much he looks like DaddyFantastic. Indeed, he does.

Adjusting

2012-01-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

(More on Flickr)

Lincoln is now 1 week and 2 days old. It seems like it has been longer in some ways. A lot like when Ava was born, it's kind of hard to imagine life before him.

He had a pediatrician follow-up this past Tuesday, which went well. We went to the pediatrician we have been going to with Ava for the past almost 3 years. We really like her and I decided it is worth the 30 minute drive into the city. She was not concerned at all about his jaundice levels and we found out he already gained 1/2 an inch in height and gained back 2 ounces (my milk came in the day before). We have another follow-up to check his weight this Tuesday. It will be interesting to see how he turns out. He looks pretty lanky right now, and might continue to stay that way. Big change from our Michelin Man baby Ava.

It has been a trying week for us all. I caught a cold Wednesday and have been getting progressively more ill day by day. So far, today has been the worst. I have also had classic "baby blues" symptoms, crying a lot and getting very overwhelmed very easily. I think the cold is exacerbating everything even more for me. I forgot how demanding newborns are. The sheer volume of diaper changes. The constant nursing. I guess it isn't that bad when looked at objectively, but it's just such a huge change from what we are used to with our almost 3-year-old.

Ava has definitely been showing us she is adjusting, too. She is extremely demanding lately, and seems to always on the verge of throwing a fit about anything and everything. DaddyFantastic has been concentrating on her and anything else I need while I concentrate on Linc, which is great. They have been playing a lot and having a lot of fun. I couldn't do this alone. We're so lucky we ended up not having to send him to work while I am on leave. I am pretty sure I would have not survived this week alone.

I feel much better these past few days about my body. The swelling/edema is finally going down and I look 4 months pregnant instead of 7. Still puffy with a huge tummy, but less of both.

Overall I would say we are doing well, though. I am enjoying this very chilled-out phase Lincoln is in right now. I remember Ava was like this until about 3 weeks, when colic struck and we were beyond miserable for quite a while. I expect the same this time, but hopefully I am wrong.

He melts my heart, he is so handsome.

Lincoln's birth story

2012-01-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

This story has been brought to you by typing with one hand while nursing, and Coke Zero smuggled into my hospital room.

I chose to be induced into labor for one major reason: insurance. If admitted after the 31st, birth would need to be paid out-of-pocket and (possibly?) reimbursed later. I am not even in my new company's system to sign up for benefits yet, and have no idea about the gritty details of the plans I can put in place retroactively to cover me from January 1. I *think* no matter what, the law makes it so I would have to be reimbursed. I'm not positive and have no one knowledgable to help me on that, just my Googling. And I am no lawyer.

Of course, I physically was done, as well. Pubic symphisis pain was making me immobile and I was repeatedly throwing out my back on top of that. I had been in prodromal labor for 4 weeks already. Everything I was doing to help labor come faster (mostly walking) made it impossible for me to keep walking because of the pain. I also started to get really bad swelling all over.

Here was my last pregnant picture, December 29th at 40 weeks before I went in for the induction.

I was very emotional leading up to that. I felt nervous about it, since personally I know very few people who have anything but horror stories (failure, emergency c-section) about being induced. Ava was technically induced. I didn't have a single contraction on my own after my water broke, and pitocin was used through the whole thing. That gave me some confidence, but not a lot. Basically, bobbling heads of Ricki Lake and other natural birth advocates were dancing in my head and all I could think was how stupid some people must think I was being for doing it. I was incredibly aware of the risks I was facing, but a decision had to be made. I also had a feeling that even if I waited, I'd need to be induced anyway because of broken water and GBS, or just for going to 42 weeks.

I was also having intense feelings about Ava. She was my only baby and I started to feel really sad she was losing that title. I loved our family of 3 already and just the huge change that was about to be made had me very anxious and emotional. How could I love a baby as much as I already loved Ava? I know a lot of moms feel this and it is not abnormal, but even feeling this way at all made me feel guilty about my hesitation accepting the change that was about to happen.

My sister came out with my niece from Las Vegas to help me with Ava on the 27th.

December 29th
Before DaddyFantastic and I headed to the hospital, we all went for ice cream and I said goodbye to Ava as we left from there. She was very upset, but told me she loved me. I was a mess. It was extremely foggy on the drive to the hospital, which also made me nervous.

We arrived around 6:30pm, and they got me into a room and processed tons of info and consent forms. The nurses were very nice and tried to loosen me up with chit-chat.

Cervidil was inserted at 8:05pm. This is meant to ripen the cervix, not cause contractions as it did in my case (and has in some others). They were 10 minutes apart, pretty regular and somewhat painful. Instead of leaving it in overnight, they ended up pulling it at 11:50pm when contractions got to about 5 minutes apart. They don't want to use cervidil for contractions since they can't control it like they can on pitocin.

December 30th
I continued to contract all night, getting to them coming every 4 minutes with intensity building slowly over the course of the night. This process added 12 hours of labor with really very little cervical change. However, the morning of the 30th was overbooked and it was a good thing for me that we did that (instead of coming in at 7am the 30th as originally planned). If I just went in for pitocin in the morning, it would have been cancelled and my OB was not on call again until the 4th. Coming in the night before for Cervidil, I was already there and couldn't be kicked out.

They started pitocin at 7:45 am, while I was 2-3 cm dilated, 50% effaced and -2 station with a very posterior cervix. My nurse was new to L&D and had one hell of a time getting to it, and usually had to have her supervisor to re-check. They turned the pitocin up about 4 times and I was still not in so much pain that I felt I needed an epidural. At 9:30 they told me if I wanted one eventually, I better get it now as the anesthesiologist was about to do back-to-back c-sections and may not be back until noon, and I knew if it was like last time it was about to really hurt soon. I decided to get it. The anesthesiologist was great and it was done perfectly.

At 9:40 am my OB broke my water. I was 4 cm dilated at 11:45am, and my OB said he expected it to be quick from here.

At 12:45 pm the baby's heart rate was dropping during contractions, and they thought maybe he was engaged and I was ready (as that's usually a sign of that stage). I was only 4.5 cm but 80% effaced and at -1 station and I switched positions. The baby's heart rate returned to normal.

At 2:15 pm I was fully dilated with a small lip of cervix left on top. I couldn't believe I progressed that fast. They were preparing to get the doctor and told me I'd be pushing soon. They put me on oxygen to help out the baby's heart rate a bit.

The doctor was in surgery and did not come to us until 3:45pm. It felt like an ETERNITY. I was trying to hold in the baby by that point, I felt like it was coming no matter what. The head was right there to the touch when the doctor got in. In only 4 pushes, it was over!

Lincoln was born at 3:58pm on December 30th, 2011 and was 8 lbs 5 oz, 21" long, 14.5" head and 13.5" chest.

The doctor was very cautious to watch for hemorrhaging, which occurred with Ava about 1 hour after her birth. He ordered blood on hand just in case. I was checked to make sure my uterus was hard very often all night. They left my heparin lock on until midnight, just incase. Everyone was on the lookout, and that was great.

Ava, Jaren and Clara came up briefly to say hello. Ava was very excited!

DaddyFantastic left to be with Ava for the night to give her some sense of normalcy.

December 31st

Just as he was in the womb, he loves to be up at night and just be a sleepyhead all day. The first night didn't contain much sleep for us, but I was fine with that. He ate and ate and ate. I spent most of the morning with him, and did lots of paperwork in anticipation of going home at 4pm (24 hours later.) Everyone seemed to think we'd be able to do that. The pediatrician we had gave us one stipulation: his bilirubin level at 4pm had to be 5 or below. This is because it would be 2.5 more days until any office could see us if he did get really jaundiced really fast, and our only option was going to be the ER and he wanted us to be safe.

Of course, as I gleefully handed him over for the quick test on this skin and looked at all of our packed bags and anticipated going home, he blew the test at 7.4. I couldn't do anything but cry. We had a lot of crap over jaundice with Ava too, even though she had a level that was not at all dangerous like Lincoln. I was angry and knew us staying there would do nothing to help his situation, just keep me away from my family longer. Ava was really let down having to go home again without us and I felt really terrible for her.

She did get to hold her brother though, which she described as "quite nice" at the time. She cracks me up!

I ate my dinner and cried through it, feeling sorry for myself. I eventually got over it and just focused on trying to feed him as much and humanly possible.

January 1st
The nurses laughed at my nursing log, as there really were no breaks longer than 20 minutes or so for most of the night. Someone took Lincoln's blood around 5am for the bilirubin levels, and didn't use the weird skin light thing they used the night before. I thought it must have been ordered. When the (same) pediatrician came in during the morning, I told him that when he was about to use the light gun tool and he got really agitated and demanded why. I said I didn't know and assumed he'd ordered it. He kept asking me questions and I basically said I don't know, and it's not my problem -- ask someone who is working on it. He made some calls and I guess a nurse misinterpreted him and then asked the pediatrician on call last night if she should order the blood draw and the one on call said "sure."

Anyway, it ended up being a HUGE blessing in disguise that the blood draw was done, as the gun ended up being over a full point in inaccuracy. Since his risk level has dropped quite a lot from last night based on the blood reading, we were able to finally go home! The pediatrician then did the typical bonehead stuff, suggesting we supplement with formula for it and also suggesting it for his weight drop. He is not accounting for any of the IV fluid weight he had artificially gained at birth and is not giving me a much leeway to get my milk in before making such suggestions. Same exact crap they did with Ava. No wonder so many people get sabotaged into not being able to breastfeed with such misinformation being doled out on a daily basis.

I can feel my milk must be coming in soon, but for now I just have lots of colostrum. I am hoping I am in business by tomorrow!

We all took a 2-hour nap in our mega family bed. It was wonderful. Lincoln loves being in the house and looking around and snoozing.

He is wonderful! Such a little charmer.

More pictures are on flickr.

No Christmas baby

2011-12-26T17:42:00.000-08:00

Hooray, I made it through Christmas without delivering! While I have known plenty of people with Christmas birthdays, it seems like probably the last day anyone would choose to have as their birthday. Everyone's attention is elsewhere and it is the biggest holiday of the year. Of course, he will be born in the "holiday" time frame no matter what really, but as long as it was not ON Christmas was all I cared about.

Ava had a great time, some pictures/videos are here.

The plan of who would be available to take care of Ava from this point forward has changed about 4 times now, but long story short: when I ended up with a hole where no one would be here late notice/unexpectedly, my sister volunteered to come out. She will be here with my niece tomorrow morning. Ava is very excited to play with her cousin Clara, someone she asks about each day since she last saw her over Halloween.

Everything is ready, the house is clean...now we just wait. Hopefully not too much longer, as my pain level rises considerably with each passing day. My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday morning. I am betting I will make it through then.

Tomorrow (27th) would be an ideal date. Ava was born on the 24th (Feb.), DaddyFantastic the 25th (Sept.), I was born on the 26th (Jan.) and it would be neat if Lincoln would follow the pattern! But he probably won't :)

39 weeks tomorrow

2011-12-21T11:25:00.000-08:00

Today I had my first check. Only 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, -1 station. I believe I was the same the day I went into labor with Ava and know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I was thinking I had made more progress than that with all of the cramping I have had. And also expected to be more dilated due to this being my second pregnancy. Oh well!

38.5 weeks

2011-12-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

I have a job again! Can't go into details yet once again, but all that matters is that I have health insurance. We could still use extra money to get our debt paid down, so if DaddyFantastic gets a good opportunity, he will take it.

I had an ultrasound today and the baby is measuring normally, so no "big baby" scares around here.

I am excited Christmas is only a week away! We managed to put all of the presents under the tree and Ava isn't touching them and understands she has to wait. I am shocked she has that much control at her age ;)

Poo.

2011-12-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

I am GBS positive again. Not surprised.

I have gained 65 lbs this pregnancy, even though I have worked out religiously the entire time (minus a few weeks) and generally watched what I ate, in comparison to eating with wild abandon and sitting on my butt with Ava and gaining 50. I am sure my husband's cooking did nothing to help matters, but I have eaten what he has served in moderate portions and have not overdone it. I hope a lot of it is water retention. My doctor commented today that I am looking very swollen and kept poking at my ankles.

Fundal height is measuring too big, so I have an ultrasound on Monday to "estimate" the baby's size. he said it usually isn't very accurate (knew this). I asked if the results of the ultrasound would lead him to push for an earlier induction and he said no. So, what exactly is the point of this again?

I am in a really bad mood.

37.5 weeks

2011-12-11T17:33:00.001-08:00

Are we done yet?

That's pretty much what runs through my mind every....2 minutes? I wish I was joking. It's very hard to be patient. Every time I get another dose of false labor in the middle of the night, or get any slight sign that maybe something is happening, I get up my hopes a little bit.

But at the same time, I am nervous! I am not nearly as terrified as the first time around, but I'm definitely not relaxed about how things may or may not go down once it is show time. I didn't feel anxious about it until just recently. I guess it had to become more real to get to me.

I keep thinking about how I had to be induced after my water broke with Ava at 41 weeks and how statistically, this one will likely NOT be making any kind of appearance until the 40 week mark, minimum. But I have the slightest little glimmer of hope he will choose some time sooner than that. Maybe 39 weeks? I'd be so down with that.

I might be checked at my next appointment on Wednesday, although not sure that will happen. DaddyFantastic has an interview (YAY) at the same time as my appointment, so I will have a little "helper" to worry about.

Why we will not be circumcising our baby boy

2011-12-06T17:50:00.001-08:00

I remember when I was pregnant with Ava, and before we knew if she was a boy or a girl, both myself and DaddyFantastic figured if it was a boy, we would circumcise.

Why? I didn't really think of it from that point of view, but rather "why wouldn't I?" It seemed like the "normal" thing to do. People would say that leaving the foreskin caused hygienic issues. People would talk about how the kids they knew who were intact were teased in the locker room in school.

So from a cultural and fear-based perspective, it seemed like the thing to do.

Then I spoke with a family member about it, who was the first I had known to argue against it. She had seen it performed many times and told me how horrific it was to watch and how the baby boys suffered. I always thought it was a quick and painless procedure, and knew nothing about it.

Then we watched the episode about circumcision on one of our favorite shows, Penn & Teller's Bulls**t. I was floored after watching it. We both completely changed our minds about the procedure and had no idea that there were so many hidden agendas behind the push for the procedure in our culture. And of course, the thing that completely sent us over the edge was watching the actual procedure done on video.

I recently found a much more academic presentation on the subject (with no smart-ass stuff or cussing like Penn & Teller always bring) that taught me even more about the issue, but also covered the main points that we saw on Penn & Teller. I encourage everyone to watch it:

I'm posting about this in order to explain our point-of-view about the issue and reflect what we have researched and made our decisions upon to family members and friends who wonder why we would choose to leave our son intact. I am not posting this to make anyone we know feel guilty for circumcising their sons. While on moral grounds I personally feel very strongly about it -- and think that if more people were truly aware of the function of the foreskin and the history behind the agenda for circumcision, they wouldn't have chosen to do it -- I don't look down upon anyone who has chosen to do it to their sons. But I do know that even as someone who tries to learn as much as I can about everything, I was completely ignorant about the issue until I was coaxed by others to open my mind about it and learn more. I am so glad I did while I still had time to make the decision.

36 weeks 3 days

2011-11-30T19:01:00.001-08:00

We are finally nearing the end!

I have had a lot of random sharp pains when I move the wrong way, which is somewhat concerning, yet probably completely normal. I am having a ton of braxton hicks contractions, which aren't nearly as "painless" as last time. I often feel like I am in false labor, like before I had Ava. I also feel the same pelvic pressure I felt the week before I had Ava, but I'm not betting on that meaning anything will happen soon. I have an appointment on Wednesday where I will be tested for my favorite, group B strep (which I had last time and caused a lot of intervention in the birth process). I just hope this time I don't have it, but chances are I could.

We took the hospital tour yesterday. This hospital is so much nicer than the one I had Ava at, and all rooms are private. Children are allowed in labor & delivery, and they are also welcome during the rest of the stay during visiting hours (7am-8pm). This is a HUGE relief, as I have been worried about what would happen if our help with Ava we have lined up would somehow be unavailable (not likely, but people have their own lives and emergencies come up, you never know). However, I do not know why all of the people I have called there provided contradictory info, and why they haven't reflected this on their website. Apparently last year with H1N1, it was much more locked down, but now it's pretty lax.

I am done working. I won't go into details about the job situation on here, but the relevant fact is I am no longer employed. I am covered on my insurance until the 31st and after that, it's all very bad for us financially. I don't qualify for any aid programs (but I am going to call about Healthy Families, as on the surface it looks like at least the baby and Ava might qualify for that if we are only getting my disability checks). I have been working closely with an insurance specialist and she has been really great. I am a type-A type of person and this kind of event happening to me is making me nearly have a heart attack. They are doing a great job of at least explaining the expected results for me for each of the different scenarios I may face.

DaddyFantastic is also looking for work now. He applied to a local company for a position that is a perfect fit, updated his resume on Monster and also sent his updated resume to the temp agency that got him his last job he was at for 2 years. He was also told at his last job that he was welcome back, so if we get to a point where that is one of our only options, he may be doing that. The cost of my insurance and the baby's insurance is going to be about $1500/month through January-February. After that, I can probably qualify for a private plan that the entire family can go on that will cost more like $900/month (until I can find a job or Phil has a job with group coverage that is more reasonable). Thankfully, in January/February Ava and DF can go on a high-deductible plan that is very cheap, so as long as they continue to be healthy, that should be relatively easy. While I am not going to disclose the intimate details of our finances, obviously a women supporting her entire family of 4 on state disability checks who has a mortgage to pay cannot fathomably afford these monthly rates. It's going to have to go on a credit card, or we need extra income.

Our goal is to find DF a job where we can eventually trade off shifts and avoid child care. This is what we did the first year of Ava's life, and we are prepared to do it again indefinitely. When I do have a new job, the extra income DF brings in will still be extremely valuable as we have the huge debt to pay off from having to replace our home's entire main sewer line a few months ago. We also could use more buildup of our savings cushion in case anything like this happens again. While him being a stay-at-home-dad was awesome, we had a feeling it was "too good to be true." It simply can't be done in most situations. In ours, if my situation changed (which it did), all bets were off and we are back to having both members work like the majority of everyone else. Maybe someday we can get back to that, but I'm not betting on it being any time soon.

I must be admitted into the hospital by the 31st, or I will have to pay for the stay out-of-pocket until my uber-expensive conversion plan is executed, which I have been warned probably won't be until the end of February (even though it would be applicable to all events January 1st and later). I didn't ask what would happen if I just didn't pay for it and sent the bills to the insurance once the plan is up, so maybe that is an option? I don't know. I have been warned that going to well-baby visits will probably be a big hassle and I will probably just have to pay for everything out-of pocket or ignore the bills and file to be reimbursed until I finally have the conversion plan executed. Not the biggest deal, but like I said: for a type-A like me, this is just really freaking irritating. I need everything done correctly and finally at the time of service or I start losing my mind. I hate things hanging in limbo. I especially hate health insurance companies.

As for what I will do when leave is over, I am optimistic I will find something. Professionally, I know wonderful people here that have my back and will do their best to help me out. I've started looking on my own, but no one wants to hire a woman who is 9 months pregnant. Imagine that ;)

It also feels like everyone I know is going through rough times right now. Either with the health of someone in their family, or finances. Everything just feels like a real bummer right now and it definitely has taken a lot of energy to try to feel positive in the midst of it all. I just hope it improves for everyone. I, for one, will be thrilled when 2011 is over.

34 weeks 5 days

2011-11-22T09:29:00.001-08:00

I had an OB appointment today. The baby is measuring right on (by fundal height) and it was easy for the OB to tell with just lightly touching my belly that he is head down. The baby has been going nuts at night while we are on the couch. I think he tried to drop kick his dad last night! I can feel little knees and sometimes his butt. It is funny. The heartbeat is great. I haven't had any GBS pop up from my urine samples this time, so maybe I am home free there... we shall see.

My OB said I can go 14 days past due before induction (good god, please don't let me get to that point!), which is good. Better than my last one who pushed to induce at 41 weeks (my water broke the night before the scheduled induction). He's only on call December 30th and January 4th, so unless I get induced either of those days or spontaneously go into labor those days, I probably won't be seeing him at game time. Which is how it works. Some random guy with a big santa beard delivered Ava!

I still have my awful armpit rash, and my OB said unless I can't sleep at night from the itching, he is inclined to avoid any systemic antifungals and we should wait until after the baby is born. I knew that was going to be the answer. Most days they don't itch too badly, so I guess I'll live. 3 months of this crap. UGH.

Hopefully by next week I will have some news on the job stuff that I can't talk about.

Ava and Yo Gabba Gabba

2011-11-21T14:05:00.001-08:00

We attended our 3rd annual Yo Gabba Gabba Live yesterday.

The first time, Ava was barely old enough to comprehend what was happening to her. The second time, she was much more engaged.

This time, she was in need of a nap. However, she was definitely at the peak of her ability to enjoy the show age-wise, for sure. Sometimes she would react, and other times she was just standing there with a blank stare and her mouth open.

I posted some very bad quality videos of some of the scenes and her reactions at Vimeo. This is about as excited as I got her on video:

Being pregnant and over-emotional, I was on the verge of (happiness) tears for about half of it.

Ava is so sweet lately. She still has her tantrum moments. In fact, I would say she is usually in one of two states: a silly, loving and playful state or a complete emotional meltdown state.

I love her in the mornings. When we wake up, she gives me kisses on my eyes, nose, cheeks, chin, mouth and ears. And then she will tickle my nose and says "I tickle-tickle you, mama!" She also won't talk to or acknowledge baby brother unless I peel off my shirt and bare my stomach. She now always blows raspberries on my belly and then screams into my belly button saying "HELLO BABY BRUDDER! WAKE UP!" She is very excited about Christmas and I can't wait until we go get the Christmas tree and decorate it. She memorized the YGG song about it and sings it all of the time.

We had a pretty huge break-though almost 2 weeks ago, as well. Ava had been nursing her entire life. I didn't openly share this fact because our society is factually ignorant about how it works, and I try to avoid confrontation with ignorant people, in general. Anyway, Ava has forgotten how to latch properly and it got to the point for me where I physically could not stand it anymore, so we transitioned to cuddles only. Her last session was about 12 days ago.

I am so proud of her for giving me a break. Nursing is immensely important to her and always has been. There is a profound emotional attachment we have that she materializes in our nursing relationship. She has grown so fast to be able to separate the act of nursing from us being close, and I am so very proud of her. I do expect her to regress once the baby is born. We will see if we are truly "done" at that point, and until that point - I am hesitant to announce any official "weaning." I do feel horrible about making the choice for her, as I was planning on it being completely led by her (and yes, children DO wean themselves, between the ages of 2-4 typically). But nursing became traumatic for both of us (me yelling about how awful it felt and her feeling bad about it) and it was clear that we had to stop. Like I said -- at least for now. From what I have read, even when children her age do regress after a new baby, it is usually short lived and all they want to do is establish their position. Then they get bored and want to go back to doing their normal things.

Homage to Fat Ava

2011-11-16T12:55:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine reminded me of a picture of Ava we have of when she was very, very chunky. I had to go back very far in Flickr to find it, so I thought to save time in the future (and hopefully to compare rolls with Lincoln), I made a Best Of set, of Ava at her rolliest.

Enjoy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theredfantastic/sets/72157628018211473/with/3836689119/

33.5 Weeks

2011-11-12T14:35:00.001-08:00

It's been a busy past few weeks!

The baby shower was great and Ava had a really great time with Halloween. Pictures of the shower are here, and pictures of Halloween are here.

I stopped going to Bar Method last week. It was just too much for me anymore, and when I talked to my nurse practitioner at my OB's office about it, she told me it sounds like it is time to give it a rest. I tried a prenatal yoga class at a local studio. It was challenging and I felt really sore the next few days. However, it was wayyyy too out there spiritually and I definitely am not cut out for repeated practice at that place. So I have a few workout DVDs for pregnancy that I am going to try to keep doing at home.

Things are pretty stressful with my work situation right now, but I won't be able to really talk about what is happening until next month. But thankfully, it is getting close to when I can take off for disability anyway. I plan to start maternity leave at 36 weeks. (I have 2 weeks paid vacation, so I would be starting disability pay at 38 weeks). I was looking at past posts, and apparently I intended on working until my due date last pregnancy… but from what I can tell, I stopped at 39 weeks. That's still pretty insane to me. I have felt ready to stop working for weeks now this time! Haha.

We had family photos done a few weeks ago, which turned out pretty well.

More can be seen here.

We have the yearly tradition of seeing Yo Gabba Gabba Live coming up next weekend. Ava will be over the moon about it this time, for sure. She has been extra-obsessed with a few episodes as of late.

Ava has been learning how to ride her new (used, picked up for $10!) trike, which has been funny to watch. She will "get" how to pedal for about 4 seconds then totally space and start pedaling the wrong way, or just pedaling a tiny bit forward and then backward, over and over again. She will get there eventually.

We have been chipping away at some small reorganization projects around the house. We have always had a big lack of cabinet storage space in the kitchen, so yesterday we bought a pantry closet to put in the kitchen. It ended up being too small and looking odd since it was so small, so we transferred the big white cabinet in Ava's room that was full of Lincoln's clothes to the kitchen, and used the new smaller cabinet for Lincoln's stuff. It worked out well, even though I'm still getting used to the big white cabinet and how it looks in the kitchen. At least now we can open cabinets without crap falling out all over the place. It's much, much better.

31 weeks

2011-10-26T17:02:00.001-07:00

I will be 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow! Pretty amazing to think we could see our son anywhere from 6-10 weeks from now!

I had a brief reprieve from typical pregnancy woes over the last few weeks, thanks to a nasty skin infection I contracted in BOTH of my armpits. Definitely on the top of my list of worst things i have ever had to deal with on my body. Holy CRAP. Constant itching, horrifying looking, very painful, would NOT go away. It must be a mix of bacterial and fungal because it didn't start clearing up after almost a week of putting on some prescribed anti-fungal cream, and actually got WORSE. Now another week later: after starting oral antibiotics, making sure to use a VERY SMALL amount of fungal ointment to keep the area not-so-moist and then liberally sprinkling both pits with athlete's foot powder, does it seem to be getting any better. It still looks hideous, but at least I am not crying over it or trying to scratch my pit skin off. So, so gross. I even stopped going to my exercise class because sweating really riles up my symptoms more. Getting them wet again and having to re-prep them with all of the crap I put on them just makes it so much worse.

I decided I will definitely go to class on Saturday, as the founder of the method is coming and I have been dying to take her class and meet her. But after that, I may never return until the baby is out of my body. We will see. Right now pelvic pain is really getting bad. it feels like it is going to break apart every time I turn over in bed. Which I do about 20 times a night, by the way.

But we did get to see our little fellow. He is quite a looker, if I do say so myself. And I totally respect your right to disagree, as before I had kids I thought everyone's 3D ultrasound pictures were creeptastic.

(Those are his feet that his chin is resting on)

(Someone is going to look like their dad!)

(Glad you're happy in there, kiddo.)

I am getting pretty excited.

Ava has been keeping things interesting and is going through some sort of phase. She is much more prone to throwing tantrums and has been a lot more difficult to deal with in general. I made the mistake of taking her to a wedding, which she proceeded to make absolutely miserable for me. DaddyFantastic claims that it was probably no big deal, but she started screaming for snacks during the procession; screamed when the bride started her vows and I had to take her away and miss the rest of the ceremony. Then she proceeded to yell through all of the toasts at the reception, and throw a screaming fit when I tried to get her to quiet down during the dinner prayer. NEVER AGAIN. Never again will I be that person. That stupid, naive person who thought their kid could handle an event like that.

She did end up looking cute, though.

And this one I am posting to remind myself of how bloated my face is getting this time around.

Ugh.

Thankfully, the baby shower is this weekend. Will post pics of that and Halloween next week!

27 weeks!

2011-10-02T21:12:00.000-07:00

(Yes, that is a fake smile)

The third trimester is just around the corner!

I really feel like it has all gone by so fast, at least in comparison to when I was pregnant with Ava. I think most people feel their second pregnancies are like this. Every little cramp and sensation isn't scary, and going through the process once just seems to make me feel a lot more at ease and prepared this time around. Then, of course, I don't have the kind of free time I had when pregnant with Ava to sit and ponder everything possible related to pregnancy and childbirth.

Childbirth itself was really at the forefront of my mind the first time around. I spent so much time reading about it and thinking about it, and also practicing self-hypnosis. But since absolutely everything in my birth plan went wrong and I still ended up with a vaginal birth and a healthy baby and really no regrets or ill effects myself, I don't see this as a "do-over" chance. I feel good knowing exactly what it fells like to roll into the hospital and what happens and what they do. I had so much negative imagery of the hospital the first time around with all of the movies and books I had read villainizing hospitals. I am glad that in my experience with Ava, it was not like that.

I ended up being unable to switch medical groups because of a contract negotiation issue between my insurance and the medical group. Of course, it took well over 20 phone calls to both to get to the bottom of it. I decided I was ready to give up trying to be the liaison between my insurance and the medical group and executed plan B. I saw my nurse practitioner (she sees me every other visit, swapping with my OB) and told her about the issues I had with my OB. She was extremely kind and sympathetic and took care of switching me to another doctor in the practice right away. I am glad that is taken care of, and the new one should be better. He has stellar reviews everywhere online. Unsurprisingly, the one I had and didn't like had really bad ones. I guess I am not going crazy and maybe it isn't just me.

I am having a bit of the feeling a senior in high school gets at the end of the school year, when it comes to work. There is a lot of transition going on and a lot of unknowns, and in the back of my mind I keep thinking "just 3 more months, just 3 more months" to get through the anxiety of it all. But I can't stop daydreaming of how awesome it is going to be on maternity leave and to be away from it all and not have to care.

Physically, I have been up and down. Especially with exercise. Some days, I feel so exhausted and weak and really struggle through my Bar Method class. Other days, I feel really good throughout the class and can do almost everything I used to before I was pregnant. It is very strange. I would say there are more bad days than good days, but I think fighting through the bad ones give me the good ones. At least I keep telling myself that. A new studio opened up very close to where I live, which is very exciting. Now I am going to start going in the mornings before work, which I loved doing when I lived near the one in Point Loma.

I have been getting major nesting urges! I washed all of the clothes we have received so far and folded them and sorted them by size already.

We got a huge load from JJ and her family (with LOTS of super cute shoes!), which is going to be so very helpful. It is all such cute stuff, too! I agree with JJ -- the stuff about boy's clothes being so hard to find and "not cute" is so wrong. There are tons of cute things out there. We also have received a lot of cute stuff from our parents, as well. Just like Ava, this little one will have no issue with having enough clothing.

My sister and her husband and our niece are coming out over Halloween. Little Clara is going to be a sheep and Ava is going to be Little Bo Peep. I would post pictures of her costume, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. I will reveal them later! My sister and my friend Erika are also throwing me a baby shower while my sister is visiting. I didn't have a shower event with Ava and they really wanted to do it, so I figured it would be fun. I am looking forward to it!

DaddyFantastic is going to be attending an at-home-dads conference soon! He has a friend where it is being held, so he will be visiting him and will also go to the conference. I have been trying to fill the time with events that will keep me and Ava busy in his absence. I know we will both miss him a lot! So far we have a night at Legoland planned (thanks to their $25 Brick-or-Treat nights special). I am already dreading that though, as Ava REFUSES to go in her stroller and wants me to carry her everywhere. I really can't do that much anymore, so hopefully we come to some sort of compromise, or I just wheel her around screaming in a stroller. Fun times. Today I carried her around the Wild Animal Park in the 90+ degree weather. JOY.

We are getting a 4D ultrasound of the baby in a few weeks. I am very excited! He will be the same age as Ava was when we had hers.

And so I can keep referring to him as "he," I might as well announce it here: his name is Lincoln. Phil suggested it and it has grown on me. I like "Link" as a nickname.

25 Weeks Tomorrow

2011-09-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

(Picture from one week ago)

Things are still going well, overall. But there has been quite a lot of drama that is almost resolved that is pregnancy related.

Down Syndrome Scare

First, there was the anatomy scan. It went well, in spite of Ava TURNING OFF the ultrasound machine, which took several minutes to boot back up again. We got confirmation that we are having a boy!

I was so happy and excited. Then I checked my voicemail after a meeting at work, and it was my doctor who left me a message that said the following:

"Hi it's Dr [REDACTED]. We're looking at your ultrasound result, and overall the baby looks good. You to have little cyst on the baby's brain and a little spot on the heart. They are considered two soft markers and I saw that you have not done your second blood draw [for quad screening]. So give me a call back. I wanna make sure that you have your 2nd blood draw done. And I want you to follow up with the perinatology department just to happen take a second look at the baby. Give us a call back and ask to speak to my nurse Linda, alright? Thanks. Bye."

Of course my reaction was "WHHHHAAAATT?!"

Cyst on the brain? Spot on the heart? What does a cyst on the brain mean? It sounds bad! What is it called? A spot on the heart? What does THAT mean? Is there a hole in the heart? Soft markers? Soft markers for what?

I was in tears immediately and called back about 10 minutes after the message. Of course, Linda was at lunch and the doctor was not available. It took them 4 hours to call me back. 4 HOURS. I cannot tell you how horrible those 4 hours were. I didn't even know what to look up in order to educate myself a bit more about what any of this meant. DaddyFantastic worked on it too, and came up with that it must be a choroid plexus cyst on the brain, and an echogenic intracardiac focus on the heart. Once the nurse called back, she did confirm that was what they found.

I just could not believe they left such vague, scary-sounding information on MY VOICEMAIL. And then took 4 HOURS to call me back about it. I was furious and planned to confront my OB about how awful that was of her to do that at my next appointment. (More on that later.)

I did go to the perinatologist and by then the cyst was gone (normal behavior for those, sometimes they take longer to disappear) and the EIF was still present. These two "markers" in and of themselves do not cause any harm - they just mean that in HIGH RISK women there is a greater chance for trisomy problems, like 18 and 21. The more i read about it online from more recent journals, the more I became angry anyone said anything about it at all. It seems absolutely insane that they alarm low risk women over these harmless (and now thought to possibly be normal in the development of many babies) "markers." I am not at high risk. Both of my blood draws for AFP/quad screening came back with phenomenal results, much better than average for someone in my age group.

The net result was that my previous risk of Down Syndrome was moved from 1:22,000 to 1:2,200 by the perinatologist. I was asked if I wanted an amniocentesis (chance of fetal death 1:400). Of course, I said no. Once I went home, I saw that the average risk for Down Syndrome for someone my age is 1:1288.

WHY ON EARTH WOULDN'T THEY ALSO MENTION THIS?! Why on earth would I want an amniocentesis if my risk for DS is STILL twice as unlikely for someone my age?!

Anyway, that was that.

My OB has a problem with my weight and remembers nothing we talk about

At my next appointment with my OB, I was prepared to gently rip her a new one for scaring the living crap out of me in such a horribly insensitive, vague and unprofessional manner. She managed to piss me off with other things to the point where I was trying my hardest not to cry, and couldn't muster up the courage to say anything at all. (Typical for me.)

The month previous, I gained nothing at all. I weighed myself at home before the appointment, and saw that compared to the previous day I had gained 8 POUNDS. I have had weird things like this happen before. It must be some combination of temporary weight gain from water retention and other digestive stuff.

(Keep in mind I am 6'1'' and 8 lbs is hard to even see if it is fat on me.)

I have never had an OB say anything about my weight. My old OB never said a word, in spite of me gaining 50 total with Ava. I thought surely no one would say anything this time, since I gained nothing the month before and I could just explain that I weighed the same the day before, and I must need to use the bathroom or unbloat or something.

First, the OB started grilling me about my diet and exercise. I told her I eat well, relatively healthily overall. I also said I go to bar method 3-4 times a week.

The previous appointment, we had a pretty in-depth discussion about this. She said she had always wanted to try it and asked me more about it. I explained how the owner of the franchises down here was also pregnant and was an expert at the modifications and that the overall program is considered to be strength and stretching exercises. I asked her if I could have a note for the class to have, saying it was okay for me to continue. (They must require this for legal reasons.) She wrote it without hesitation.

She must have not taken any notes and completely forgot about this. She asked me "is it safe?"

Is it safe?! YOU wrote me a note passing me for it a few weeks ago!

I didn't say anything and just replied with "yes."

Then, she brought up my weight. "Watch your weight, mmkay?" I looked at her with a blank stare. She replied, "Your weight. You gained 8 lbs since last month, so watch it, mmkay?"

RAAGGGGEEEEEEE

I was so upset that I couldn't even say anything else. I was not overweight to begin with. I have friends who were overweight or obese before getting pregnant, gained at the rate I have been anyway and STILL had their OBs say nothing. What is the point? As long as there's no indication it is causing other problems, why say anything at all? I told her I eat well and I exercise HARD every week. Why would she be so snotty about "watching" my weight?

It was the final straw. I talked to some friends in my area and got glowing recommendations for a new OB and it also occurred to me that if I switched OBs, I could deliver at the hospital 2 miles from my house (as opposed to the 16 I'd need to drive to get to the one I am with now). I was not able to just switch, and had to write a request to the new medical group about why I wanted to switch. It took some weeks and dozens of phone calls and lots of hours of being on hold, but I think it is safe to say the switch is almost final. I was told it was approved and it should reflect on my insurance as of October 1st. I am very happy about this.

I wish I could say everything else in life was going well to offset the drama, but unfortunately, it hasn't been.

Plumbing disaster

A few weeks after we moved in to our home, we experienced a major plumbing backup. I could go into the details of all of the other backups that have happened since then (I think we are at 8 now), but I won't. We didn't know we had a warranty that would would cover plumbers coming out for that problem and wasted $900. Then we started using the home warranty service and they have the crappiest plumbing contractors who took THE ENTIRE DAY to come out for an emergency issue. We had the system video snaked eventually (for free, thanks to me complaining about one of the snotty plumbers we paid for who blamed US for the problem. WE JUST MOVED IN, DUDE.) and the prognosis was there was something wrong, but they couldn't see anything due to a huge blockage just outside of the house. So they shot high-pressure water through the pipes (another $500). This revealed that the main line coming to the house, which is made of cast iron, was completely broken off. So there is mud and crap just piling up and blocking everything. They did also see further out in the main line, there were major breaks in the pipe where roots were growing in. These were blown out with the water pressure. We were assured we should be fine for a while and we could take out time getting an estimate for the breakage close to the house. The home warranty and homeowner's insurance will not cover any plumbing issues. They would cover any water damage to the actual house if there was an issue that did that, but the plumbing itself is apparently our problem. I had no idea.

3 DAYS LATER we had another complete backup. We looked in the clean-out valve outside and it was FULL with water, indicating there was a new problem, further away out in the main line. They came out again and unclogged it. The manager who did our video snaking came back out and took another look. Now where the roots were in the pipe, there is mud falling out into the gaps and causing more clogs.

So overall, it's going to be a waste of time to keep having a plumber come out every week to snake the results as we just need to replace the main line. Thousands of dollars. We have no choice. I just want to flush my toilets without hearing the dreaded "GLUG GLUG" and then breaking down crying again. They're going to start Thursday. The city is responsible for everything 10 feet in the property line and to the street, so they will take care of that part at no cost. (This is a MAJOR perk. No other areas in San Diego do this. It would cost us several thousands more if this was not the case, so I am very grateful.)

Ahhh, the joys of homeownership.

Clutch going out

The day before this, I discovered I could no longer really engage my clutch on my car, especially in 1st and reverse. Over $1000 to replace.

A new way of life

We were able to get a new line of credit with 0% interest for 21 months to put the plumbing and car on. We could drain our entire savings account to pay for all of it, but that would leave me with no cash once I go on maternity leave and the state disability payments take a long time to come in. I need to be able to pay the mortgage in cash. The monthly cost to pay off the new debt in time is so high that we are once again going to have to adjust the way we live and what we buy. Many (most) people live like this, but once you are accustomed to not stressing over it too much, it feels VERY stressful. I know we will adjust, though.

Let's not even go into how worried I am about maternity leave and the additional cost of another child.

Ava makes it all light-hearted

As always, it is hard to remember we have a care in the world sometimes with Ava around. She is so funny.

Her new obsession is Peppa Pig. She calls us "mommy pig" and "daddy pig." Grandma and grandpa are "grandpa pig" and "grandma pig." We all take it as a term of endearment.

She starts signing as soon as she wakes up in the morning.

She loves to go and play at the park, or play in her back yard with the sand box.

She loves to take all of her stuffed animals (30-40 of them) and organize them in front of the TV or on the couch.

She loves to wrap up her stuffed animals and pretend like she is tucking them in to sleep.

She loves to color and blow bubbles.

She loves bubble baths and drinking the water. (Gross)

She hates bugs.

She calls hairs she finds "crabs." She HATES "crabs."

She LOVES to go to the zoo.

I will try to update more often..but no promises.