Such is quite definitely the case with Mermaids. Jangly things that we land creatures like for rhythms and sparkle can actually cross the pain threshold for them — bits such as tambourines, bells, triangles, cymbals and the like. I didn't know that when I made my recording of "A Year and a Day". It was chock-full of sparkly bits.

But then I met a Mermaid.

You need not believe it. But they're out there. They've hoodwinked our doctors into thinking they're land creatures with a neurological disorder, so they can hang out among us, observe, and report on our fitness to join Civilized Peoples. (We're not there yet.) They may fool the docs, but every good sailor and singer of sea songs — we knows one when we meets one, by gum!

Especially for Mermaids

Therefore, I have created a second version of the recording, minus the jangly jarring bits, for my Mermaid friend (she knows who she is) and any other merfolk out there. Partly in hopes of being reported as fit to join Civilized Peoples, but mainly because she's a good kid sailing a tough course.

I have put the track exclusively on Bandcamp. You can listen to it there, or right here:

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CD BABY * AMAZON * iTUNES * BANDCAMP

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MORE ORIGINAL SEA SHANTIES & MARITIME FOLK MUSIC IN THE WORKS!
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Sessions will be short: 2-3 songs max. I'll be premiering some brand new songs, never before performed. I'll post an Event on my Facebook page ahead of each session. Here's the plan:

JULY

• 07 - OLD & NEW NIGHT: Featuring some old old, new old, and brand new never before performed sea songs.
  
  
• 14 - MANDOLIN NIGHT: Watch as I attempt to play a few songs on an instrument traditionally played by sailors, but which I don't really know how to play! Another brand new, never before performed song will have its online premiere.
  
  
• 21 - EDWARD LEAR NIGHT: Two nonsense poems for children by the 19th century English poet, set to music by me. Both have a seafaring theme. Bring the kids or grandkids!
  
  
• 28 - AMERICANA NIGHT: Old and new songs for salt and freshwater mariners, with an American flavor of banjo.

AUGUST

• 04 - BAND NIGHT: a couple of my New Old Sea Songs played with backing tracks. Hear what my band might sound like if I had one!
  
  
• 11 - SHANTY NIGHT: original songs with a classic sea shanty format. Featuring my ode to the King of the Deep, and a salty retelling of the Noah's Ark story with some strictly 21-st century lunacy woven in.
  
  
• 21 - IRISH NIGHT: a couple of originals with a touch o' the Emerald Isle. Online premier of a poignant sailor's lament about lost love, and the popular tale of the cruelest pirate of Irish alternative history.
  
  
• 25 - RUSSIA NIGHT: Last but not least as the summer winds down: a salty salute to the people of the city I've called home for almost 1/4 century, plus an original Russian translation of the classic English shanty "Nelson's Blood".

Being as how my social circle is not huge, I'd very much appreciate you passing the link to this post around to folks you know. Hope to see you on one or more Salty Summer Sunday Soireé!

It's not really an island in the geographical sense. But it certainly is in the minds of a significant portion of the populace. In fact, in the minds of most of the members of a certain elephantine political party, it's a walled island - or will be as soon as they can skim a few billion in taxpayer money. But I digress.

The fact is, the island of my birth is today beset by snakes — snakes of a singularly malevolent character. So I'm dedicating this post to St. Patrick. It collects various St. Patrick's Day goodies I have created over several years all in one place, and it introduces a brand new St. Paddy's Day song. If you, like me, would like the Good Saint to stage a repeat performance and drive the snakes away from the Red, White, and Blue Isle, you've come to the right place! Stream the songs. Play the videos. Share this page and encourage others to do likewise. Think of it as a 21st century censer, and all those streams and plays as fragrant, Guinness-scented puffs of incense drifting into the ether in the direction of good Saint Patrick and beseeching him -

ENCORE! ENCORE!

All right, me buckos, let us get with the program!

NEW SINGLE for St. Paddy's 2019!

The song idea came into my head back in 2013 after a Facebook post in which I wrote "It may be warming globally, but it's FREEZING locally!" Saint Patrick's Day that year dawned at around -20 Celsius in Saint Petersburg. No end to winter in sight, global warming notwithstanding. 2019 is shaping up no better and it's GETTING OLD!

I found this a slightly raunchy comic tune, sung with a horrible pseudo Chicago-Irish accent, lurking in my back catalog of recorded but unreleased songs. I dusted it off, mastered it, and got it ready to launch in St. Paddy's honor for his saint's day 2019, to encourage him to do an encore on the island where the descendants of so many of his countrymen live today.

P.S. Especially for my American compatriots who may have some misgivings about the word "FECK!" used extensively in this song. It doesn't mean what your prurient mind is thinking it means, and it is not considered a no-no word in Ireland. Just so you know.

Streaming audio track:

FREE DIGITAL DOWNLOAD — ALL DAY ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
GET IT ON BANDCAMP

LYRICS VIDEO

There be PIRATES too!

In hopes that the Good Saint might give a thought (and a boot) to the pirates that today beset us as well as the snakes, I offer up a ballad I wrote about Ireland's cruelest pirate. The inspiration comes straight out of alternative history.

This dastardly marauder was an orange-haired pirate who was proud of his big "shillelagh", who abused women, who wreaked havoc among travelers from many nations, and who sank perfectly sound ships for fun and profit, aided and abetted by a corrupt and soulless congr... er... sorry... I mean crew. His preferred weapon was a big blackthorn shillelagh, with which he terrorized the high seas until one fateful day when he met a man whose shillelagh was bigger than his.

Children, learn a life lesson - the lesson of Shillelagh O'Toole!

DO PLAY THE VIDEO!

All hail Saint Patrick! Full speed ahead!

 Not Irish? No excuse!

If you're thinking that all your streams and plays will never reach good Saint Paddy because you're not Irish, or you have no Irish blood - BLARNEY! On St. Patrick's day, "folk the whole world over are Irish for a day"! So come on - don something green, join the party, invite your family and friends and let's send some good vibes heavenward - bedad!

STREAMING AUDIO

You don't need that first drop of Irish blood in you to enjoy this one all year round. Even if you're pure County Cork you're sure to get a tickle. More than a few drops of good Irish beer is a recommended accompaniment for all and sundry... assumin' they be of legal age, o'course, Officer!

FREE DIGITAL DOWNLOAD — ALL DAY ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
GET IT ON BANDCAMP

VIDEO

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It takes hundreds of plays on streaming services like Spotify to equal the income from just 1 digital download. Even if you prefer streaming, downloads are a great way to support an artist whose music you enjoy.

WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT MY WORK

CD BABY * AMAZON * iTUNES * BANDCAMP

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Salty Sailor Carols

	What if those old carols had been composed by salty old sea dogs in days of yore? This medley re-imagines 6 classic Christmas carols as old-time sailors might have sung them (except that these are probably less rude!) For example, you'll find bit's like... Away in a Merchantman No Rest, Ye Scurvy Sailormen What Ship Be That? Oh Little Town of Port Royal
Download is open on Bandcamp thru Jan. 9, 2019 - $0.00 or more, your option. GET IT NOW

Heave Me Hearties All

If you are in the mood for something a little less tame with a little more sea salt in it, this original Christmas shanty could be just the ticket relieving that bloated feeling induced by the inane pap the retailers are loosing indiscriminately at this time of year. Fair Warning for Sensitive Natures This song contains salty lines such as... We've got a carpenter on board But he ain't nothin' like Our Lord Pickled in gin, he ain't no good Lyin' in the scuppers sawin' wood And... Whenever we get some time ashore You'll find us drunk with a cozy whore Stuff you will NOT hear playing in Walmart or Starbuck's.

Download is open on Bandcamp thru Jan. 9, 2019 - $0.00 or more, your option. GET IT NOW

Do you know?

It takes hundreds of plays on streaming services like Spotify to equal the income from just 1 digital download. Even if you prefer streaming, downloads are a great way to support an artist whose music you enjoy.

WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT MY WORK

CD BABY * AMAZON * iTUNES * BANDCAMP

Don't want a download? No problem!

MORE ORIGINAL SEA SHANTIES & MARITIME FOLK MUSIC IN THE WORKS!
Be the first to hear it as a member of my "SCURVY CREW!"

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Friday (05 Oct.)
13:00  Ha’penny Pier 45-50 min.
16:00 Crown Post 2-3 songs, part of a multi-artist event

Saturday (06 Oct.)
11:15 Shanty Train - advance tickets required
14:30 Pier Hotel “Angel” Annexe  
21:00 Alma Inn  - 15/20 min. maybe more. Another multi-artist event.

Sunday (07 Oct.)
12:00 Hanover - 45-50 min.
14:30 Sailing Barge Victor - 90 min. cruise. Advance tickets required.

Lots of great musicians and fun activities and events at this festival. Among other things I'm looking forward to revisiting the local "chippy" for some local-catch fish and chips. It's a short walk uptown from the main pier area, but well worth it. No seating, but you can take your food into most of the nearby old town pubs if you buy a drink. With to-die-for English bitter on tap, of course you will!

The quilted maple top seemed just a bit ostentatious to me. It reminded me of some Baroque furniture I've seen in The Hermitage. Consequently, I whimsically named it "The Empress Katherine II" after she whose winter palace The Hermitage was.

Then I decided, what the heck, if the thing's gonna look gaudy, why not just "go for baroque" and add some decoration. I knew about inlaystickers.com and went their site to see what I could find. I found some faux-abalone inlay stickers with a dolphin motif that I thought I could work with, even though they were for ukulele. I mucked about in Photoshop and came up with a design that I think is just fine for Empress Kate. Hey, sea shanties are a sort of show-biz, right?

Here are the before and after pics.

Do you know?

It takes hundreds of plays on streaming services like Spotify to equal the income from just 1 digital download. Even if you prefer streaming, downloads are a great way to support an artist whose music you enjoy.

WAYS YOU CAN SUPPORT MY WORK

CD BABY * AMAZON * iTUNES * BANDCAMP

Don't want a download? No problem!

MORE ORIGINAL SEA SHANTIES & MARITIME FOLK MUSIC IN THE WORKS!
Be the first to hear it as a member of my "SCURVY CREW!"

Friday 29 June:
13:30 ÅSS Paviljongen http://www.paviljongen.ax/
16:00 Park in Town
20:00 Albin

Saturday 30 June:
12:00 Inner Yard in Town
14:00 Restaurang Nautical  http://www.nautical.ax/
14:30 s/v Albanus (ship)
15:00 Mayor's Reception Gustaf Eriksson villan  (1 short song)
19:30 Restaurang Nautical again, then as soon as I can get there...
          Sing-along Concert, Badhuspaviljongen - (1 song)

Sunday 1 July:
13:00 Maritime Museum
14:00 ÅSS Paviljongen http://www.paviljongen.ax/
17:30 “Leave her Johnny” - Closing concert at Badhuspaviljongen - (1 song)

"So, Robert - are your EXCITED about this?" - I hear you ask. Well, my friend...

Listen to "Down Down Down" streaming from Bandcamp.com

"They'll storm the gates of Hell itself, to the tune of a single drum" - Gordon Lightfoot, "Protocol" (1976)

"There's a power av virtue in keepin' things separate" - Long Jack (Captains Courageous by Rudyard Kipling)

There's a lot to be said for the idea of musicians keeping focused on music and not mucking about with politics. But sometimes the political class mucks things up so badly for so many that you simply can't avoid it. Yesterday was one such occasion, when I joined the other members of the Men Overboard maritime folk music trio in an impromptu performance at the Queen's Birthday Party event at the British consulate at Saint Petersburg. Check out my photo album (public on Facebook) - the ladies sporting hats were truly a sight to behold!

Diplomacy chucked over the rail

It was the last official event before the consulate closes, thanks to the dismal failure of the Fearless Leaders of both countries who have exhibited all the maturity level of five year olds. I apologize for disparaging five year olds. I've known a few who would probably do better at "leadership" - a "quality" they tried to foist on us in the Boy Scouts and which I've come to regard as highly overrated. But I digress.

It was a sad occasion for many, for many reasons. My two bandmates are retired career foreign service officers who have had close ties to the consulate for over 20 years. Peter Dyson's little choir of carol singers has been a fixture of the annual Christmas party. It was at that event in 2013 that I met him. Thanks to Peter, I discovered a previously unsuspected talent for composing original maritime folk songs, which has led to many interesting and fun travels and adventures, two more of which loom on my horizon: the Baltic Shanty Festival (June 29-July1 at Mariehamn, Åland Islands), which I'm playing as a solo performer, and the Harwich International Sea Shanty Festival (October 5-7 at Harwich, Essex, England) performing with the trio.

And it's time for us to leave her

For the "QBP" we chose a traditional English sea shanty that sailors were wont to sing at the end of a voyage:

Oh leave her, Johnny, leave her with a grin
Leave her, Johnny, leave her
For there's many a worser we've sailed in
And it's time for us to leave her

Oh it's leave her, Johnny, leave her
Leave her, Johnny, leave her
For the voyage is done
And the winds don't blow
And it's time for us to leave her

It seemed an appropriate choice for the circumstances.

Hulled but still afloat

While professional diplomacy may be scuttled to Davy Jones for the time being by the large-scale fools among us, we the smaller-scale fools who practice the musical arts will continue to look for opportunities to surmount the barriers manufactured to keep people apart and afraid of each other, and bring people together through music. Even if only for an hour or two, anything we can do to mitigate the damage to our mutual humanity is worth doing. We know music works for this. We know that the failure of the big bugs means that it's up to us now, to do what we can, until the painted ponies come back around once more.

• Be cheap enough I could potentially stand it's loss if the worst happens
• Sound OK plugged or unplugged
• Be comfortable to play with my smallish hands
• Not require a trip to Moscow to find in stock

The Quest begins

YouTube was a great research tool. As I identified brands and models that met the above and a few other nice-to-haves, I looked for demos, and kept links in a Google Sheet. Frustratingly, the guitars I was most interested in were either available only in Moscow shops, or from internet stores with no return policy. Unless there's obvious shipping damage, you keep it. For a guitarist, that's kind of analogous to a woman having to buy a bra or a pair of heels online and just hope for the best.

It was pure accident that in a "related video" thumbnail on YouTube I saw the face of Sasha Dmitrienko, a musician I know in Moscow, who was reviewing a guitar. I ran the video and discovered he was in a really nice looking acoustic guitar shop... but of course in Moscow (sigh!) But I followed the link to their site and - lo and behold! - they also had a shop here in Saint Petersburg!

A gold nugget in the mud

The typical music store here is trying to be many things to many people. They cram so much merchandise into their space there's barely room to move around. Like a sub-miniature Guitar Center store. There's no place you can sit with an acoustic guitar, much less 2 or 3 that you want to compare. And just over there is invariably some guy with an electric guitar evaluating the max volume level of an amp with his favorite grunge metal tune. If you do manage to get hold of an acoustic, the strings are old enough to be on a pension. If you want to try it with new strings, they won't change them, even if you offer to pay for them. They'd rather lose a $500+ sale. (I know of 2 shops that did.)

So I was pretty amazed when I discovered gitaraclub.ru. Even though they were in the process of moving the local shop into a new space, the showroom was a joy after those other places. Check out the sofa!

The Gitaraclub showroom sofa!

The friendly and helpful guys (and patient with my bad Russian!) assisted me to try 7 or 8 guitars that fell into my price range. In that range, frankly, I was not expecting much. But then I'm gettin' old and was still thinking in terms of lower-priced guitars 25-30 years ago. It seems things have improved.

But the really great thing about this shop is that they understand that every acoustic guitar, regardless of price, needs to be examined and adjusted because it contains organic materials that are affected by travel. The shop has a master guitar tech who goes over every instrument they sell, and sets it up to be the best it can be given its price point. That is incredibly valuable, and it's a shame how rare it has become everywhere these days.

Old dog learns new tricks

I soon discovered that the shop had quite a few Ovation brand guitars. Those feature wood tops fixed on a composite "bowl". I first encountered them in the 1970s and was underwhelmed, especially with the plugged in sound. I swore long ago I would never own one. However, they have always been known for durability on the road, so I thought I'd better at least try a few. I did, and hey - they've come a long way, baby! I finally narrowed things down to 2 guitars... one of them an Ovation. Wonders never cease. Never say "never".

A Tale of the Unexpected

I called my wife who was shopping nearby. I've learned over 25 years that she has an annoying tendency to be right about things, and hers is an audience viewpoint rather than a musician viewpoint. I wanted to see which one she fancied before finally choosing.

I had 15 minutes to wait, so I perused the racks again and noticed another Ovation that they hadn't shown me. When I took it out of the rack, my first impulse was to put it right back. The top was maple, a hardwood rather than the generally more resonant spruce I have always favored. And it was "quilted" maple - a look many people like, but which feels a bit ostentatious to me. There was also glitzy abalone inlay around the sound hole. (I prefer my abalone left on the sea bottom!) In short, I just didn't like that critter's looks!

But since I had time to kill, I sat down with it (on that amazing sofa!) and strummed an E chord to check the tuning - and was taken aback. The whole body resonated - I could feel it in my gut and chest. I've only ever experienced that on fine high-end all solid wood guitars (owned by somebody else). Was this really happening with a hardwood top on a composite body? I went into my try-out routine.

It happens sometimes. One individual guitar has "mojo"- a certain "something" that others, even the same make and model, even more expensive, just don't have. I began to realize I'd stumbled upon such a guitar. Loud or soft... the response and presence were balanced and smooth, both finger-style and flat-picked. Many less expensive guitars are noticeably better at one or the other. This one was fine with both. It also sounded quite fine plugged into an acoustic amp. No excessive bass boom, minimal coloring by the transducer. I was starting to get excited by everything except its looks, and I still wasn't quite believing it.

The moment you realize "I can't believe I'm liking this thing!!"

Feminine intuition clinches it

Well, the spousal unit showed up, listened to my short-listed guitars (now 3), and picked that "quilty" one right away. She said it looked fine, and that I shouldn't be an old sitck-in-the-mud (or words to that effect). But then, she grew up with regular visits to The Hermitage museum, and this top looks kind of like a lot of the old Baroque furniture in there, but no matter. She didn't give me time to argue or dither, just told the guys to ring up that one. Right as usual.

So it came home and I've been working out on it. The more I play it the more I realize I wasn't just wishfully imagining things. I set out hoping only to find a guitar I could tolerate for live performances. I certainly wasn't expecting to find something for it's price that I like this much. What's more, I find it's voice works well with my original maritime folk music. So it might just be that I have found "my sound". And I didn't break the bank. Or have to go to Moscow.

What? You're still here? Wow. OK, so how do you like the look of this beastie? Leave a comment!