“I can’t answer that. If I answer that, I’ll get fined.” — Stephen Jackson, when asked if he wanted to be in Milwaukee

As we said more than a month ago, this year’s Rising Stars challenge will feature a draft from a pool of rookies and sophomores. And just like I predicted, Shaquille O’Neal and Charles Barkley are the GMs who will be picking the two teams. The pool of draft eligible players was released today, which means we finally have a chance to break down the most likely scenarios for the upcoming draft.

We’ll assume Barkley gets the first pick because he’s been on “Inside the NBA” longer and that the draft will proceed in a serpentine fashion.

1. Barkley — Blake Griffin: Not only is Griffin the best player available, he’s also one of the guys that Charles has definitely heard of.
2. Shaq — Ricky Rubio: The most fun name to say, for sure, so a definite O’Neal target.
3. Shaq — DeMarcus Cousins: Shaq has a soft spot for big guys who look kind of chubby.
4. Barkley — John Wall: Another guy who Charles Barkley probably knows.
5. Barkley — Greg Monroe: He’s tall, so OK.
6. Shaq — Gordon Hayward: A versatile scorer who Shaq thinks would look funny when he makes them dance.
7. Shaq — Kyrie Irving: Doesn’t fill a need for Team Shaq, but it will allow the GM to wiggle his eyebrows like he found an uncovered gem.
8. Barkley — Landry Fields: He starts for the Knicks, so he must be good, right?
9. Barkley — Evan Turner: “No seriously Kenny, he’s been better this year.”
   
10. Shaq — Kemba Walker: Shaq remembers he won a National Championship in college, so takes him because “I only care about winning.”
11. Shaq — Derrick Williams: Just so he can yell “RUBIOOOOO!” again.
12. Barkley — Brandon Knight: Charles doesn’t know much about him, but it says PG next to his name so whatever.
13. Barkley — Paul George: Big-time slip for the Pacers wingman, mostly because the two GMs accidentally skipped over his name
14. Shaq — Kawhi Leonard: The steal of the draft, and another prime eyebrow-wiggling moment for The Big Picker.
15. Shaq — Tristan Thompson: Once again, rather than analyzing the pick, Shaq just wiggles his eyebrows.
16. Barkley — MarShon Brooks: “Whoever that guy is.”
17. Barkley — Markieff Morris: Charles calls him “Markeith” but everyone knows who he’s talking about and kind of expected it, really.
18. Shaq — Tiago Splitter: He’s the non-famous foreign player, so this is destiny.

I’m not saying this is how the draft is going to shake out, but this is what the insiders are telling me. Stay tuned to this space for important updates as information changes.

It was only a week ago that Blake Griffin detonated an atomic bomb upon Kendrick Perkins’ goateed dome. It feels like much, much longer. Since then, we’ve had the Kevin Durant backlash, a t-shirt about the dunk and a season-ending injury to a valuable Clipper. It’s understandable that it seems like it happened way longer ago. A lot of stuff has gone down since then.

But people are still talking about it. Kendrick Perkins, for one. He’s still getting asked questions about it, so he’s answering. And among the things he’s talking about is how he doesn’t like LeBron James’ reaction. From Yahoo! Sports’ Marc J. Spears:

Several NBA players commented about the dunk on Twitter and in media interviews, but the only one that bothered Perkins was James.

Shortly after the dunk, James tweeted, “Dunk of the Year! @blakegriffin just dunked on Kendrick Perkins so hard!!! Wow! I guess I’m No. 2 now. Move over #6.” James was referring to his alley-oop dunk he threw down after jumping over Chicago Bulls guard John Lucas III a day earlier.

“You don’t see Kobe [Bryant] tweeting,” Perkins said. “You don’t see Michael Jordan tweeting. If you’re an elite player, plays like that don’t excite you. At the end of the day, the guys who are playing for the right reasons who are trying to win championships are not worrying about one play.

“They also are not tweeting about themselves talking about going down to No. 2. I just feel [James] is always looking for attention and he wants the world to like him.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict that this wins Kendrick Perkins a few fans. Nearly 10,000 NBA players tweeted about Blake Griffin’s dunk, but Kendrick Perkins singles out only LeBron James for scorn, then says he’s not playing for the right reasons and is desperate to be liked. The only way Perkins could be a bigger fan favorite is to be Kevin Durant.

It’s a very 1980′s mindset to call out one of a bunch of players as the one guy you’re mad at. This shows, pretty obviously, that Kendrick Perkins is not the biggest LeBron James fan on Earth. I’m of the opinion that this sort of thing is good for the league. A little enmity between the Thunder and Heat should they meet in the NBA Finals would be pretty great, so I wouldn’t mind this thinking permeating throughout the Oklahoma City locker room.

Even if this doesn’t start a full-scale blood feud betwixt these two teams, us fans are still going to be winners here. Reading this is sure to make LeBron want to dunk on Kendrick Perkins and Kendrick said, “If I was in the same position, in the same rotation, I’m going to jump again and again and again.”

The two teams meet March 25. I’m going to start prepping my LeBron dunk post tonight.

Does this count as an alley-oop or a tip dunk? Asking for a friend.

(via I Am a GM)

On today’s show, Skeets and Tas discuss Steve Nash’s birthday game-winner, why Brandon Jennings only took four shots last night, Redd’s return to Milwaukee, Paul Pierce passing Larry Bird on the Celtics’ all-time scoring list, whether Monta Ellis is an All-Star, Thunder X-factor Serge Ibaka, and the above-.500 TimberWolves! All that, plus we answer your mail, including questions about Chauncey Billups’ season-ending surgery, “The Stephen Curry Babyface All-Stars,” and tricks of the trade for live NBA virgins.

LINKS: TBJ Facebook | TBJ Store | TBJ F.A.Q.

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We’ve known for a while that Kevin Durant is down to drop a freestyle here and there, but a full-fledged rap song? That’s new. Have a listen to “Worried About Tomorrow,” an actual rap song by the Thunder star that features Privaledge, a rapper Durant’s been affiliated with for a minute.

I don’t hate it. The beat is fine, very laid-back which suits Durant pretty well. It falls in that prestigious category of professional athlete rap songs that aren’t terrible, which is pretty high praise unless we’re talking about a Wayman Tisdale record.

It’s kind of strange to hear Durant playing along with rap stereotypes (“pause,” cussin’, looking out for No. 1) when we know him as such a team-first, nice dude. But I guess that’s what happens when you step in the booth.

So yeah, Kevin Durant’s a rapper now, joining the likes of Kobe Bryant, Tony Parker and Joe Smith. I guess he really is an NBA superstar.

Lyrics after the jump.

(video via probeeCTS)

The esteemed Mr. Trey Kerby recently asked me to write a piece on Carmelo Anthony. And it makes sense. I’m a very melodramatic Knicks fan and Carmelo is the centerpiece of my favorite team. Clearly, this should have been easy for me.

But I spent about a week wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could say about Melo that hasn’t been said. He’s a fantastic scorer. His commitment to defense is questionable. He seems to mess with both the flow of the offense as well as other peoples’ confidence within the offense. He’s an insanely cool person. Attending the game where Gallo returned to the Garden and outplayed him was a panic-inducing knife twist of an experience that made me question almost everything about my life. I once was an actor in a commercial where I played an obsessive stalker-y fan of his and he accurately gauged that I was indeed an obsessive stalker-y fan of his and had his guard up around me the whole time. And that’s when he was still with the Nuggets. (Side note: I did another commercial as part of this series with Paul Pierce, who was a nice guy but scolded me for making fun of Smush Parker.)

Then the basketball gods intervened and Jeremy Lin happened. He fucking happened.

Trey asked me to divert my attention from Carmelo to Lin and I was more than happy to do so, because I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but at the time of this writing Jeremy Lin has had TWO good games in a row. In New York, that means he is the savior who has descended from Heaven to save the Knicks from anything ranging from D’Antoni’s horrific coaching, Toney Douglas’s downfall, or the existence of Jared Jeffries. He’s had two full games of impressive stat lines and moments where he’s demonstrated an ability to run an offense to a passable degree. And these two games have exposed how the minds of Knicks fans work. In the New York media/blogosphere, Jeremy Lin’s two good games in a row are miraculous game-changer turning points in our season on par with the following:

• The French agreeing to help the Colonials during the American Revolution.
• The Elves showing up last minute to help fight at Helm’s Deep in the movie version of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• Jay Z inexplicably rapping over Linkin Park songs and making otherwise rational people think for just a nanosecond that Linkin Park was catchy.

I’m able to step back from my Knicks fandom long enough to note our ridiculousness regarding our reaction to Lin, but I’m also a full-on fanboy buying into it. Lin’s two games in a row have made Knicks fans collectively forget that he has never played well at the professional level outside of this week, he’s physically unimpressive to a degree that one has to wonder how many games in a row he can play, and most remarkable of all, that he brings up Christianity within the first 10 seconds of every interview he’s ever done in a way that New Yorkers would usually distrust immediately.

My own devotion to the cult of Lin can best be captured via this transcript of a Facebook conversation I had with my buddy Michael Kayne at roughly 2:30 AM last night. He’s a fellow Knicks lifer. I signed on, saw his name in my chat box, and didn’t say hello. This is the entirety of our conversation, with caps lock retained for accuracy.

ME:
LIN
LION
LINSANITY
#LINNING

MICHAEL:
SHAOLIN
LIN DIESEL

ME:
LINAMENT

MICHAEL:
JUNIOR LINTS

ME:
NEXT OF LIN
SAUSAGE LIN-K

MICHAEL:
LINONA RYDER

ME:
RIN TIN LIN

MICHAEL:
ADVENTURES OF LINTIN

ME:
LINDERELLA

MICHAEL:
LIN AND JUICE

ME:
THE LIN DOCTORS

MICHAEL:
LORETTA LIN

ME:
YOU CAN HEAR A LIN DROP

MICHAEL:
SEVEN DEADLY LINS

Then, he signed off. As did I. And I went to bed smiling, knowing that somehow the Knicks won a game this year with both Amar’e and Carmelo out, and Tyson Chandler in foul trouble the whole time. Right now, I can legitimately say that if I saw Jeremy Lin walking down the streets of New York, I would start crying and screaming like he was The Beatles and I was a pre-teen female baby boomer

In writing this, I am taking the time to remind myself of a few things — first off, no wonder players want to play in New York. If you have two good games in your life at Madison Square Garden, you can become a national trending topic on Twitter. I would imagine that superstar level players see a kid like Lin get this kind of attention and know they are one trade away from a world of endless endorsement deals and non-stop sex with models and reality TV personalities.

But also, let’s not forget that just a few short weeks ago, a certain savior named Iman Shumpert arrived. He was able to get to the basket, but he didn’t even know how to finish a shot. Despite multiple shanked dunks, he was just able to get to the rim, which was such a blessing that there was quickly a feature written about him in the New York Times.  A few quiet weeks later, and how much have we heard about the Shump lately?

Let’s see what happens when Lin has two bad games in a row. As opposed to all of the love, hype, and adulation right now, I’m sure New Yorkers will be ready to curse the word Lin, or at least largely forget about him as they have other recent newbie saviors such as the aforementioned Shumpert and a certain Landry Fields. Those two went from being right in the thick of the New York hype machine to firmly in its crosshairs. I have to imagine that they get judged, criticized, and booed for mistakes on their home court far worse than any player of their experience and stature would in most other markets. In Lin’s case, a few bad games will mean endless bitching that he scored himself a guaranteed contract, constant articles about how the Knicks employ a glorified D-leaguer, a ton of “Shut the fuck up about God already”s yelled at HD TV screens, and a whole lot of very subtle racism. New York Knicks basketball –- bad enough that you’ll definitely get playing time, scrutinized enough that you will never be allowed to blossom as a player or young man!

The Lin experience also reiterates to me a fact that I’ve long known and long refused to admit: Knicks fans are perhaps the most annoying of all despicable New York sports fans. We’re as cocky as Yankee fans without the winning pedigree to make it as fun to hate us. We’re simultaneously as sad sack-y as Mets fans despite the fact that we now have marquee players and our home court is perhaps the greatest sports venue in America. We’re as obnoxious on the streets of New York as Rangers fans, as meathead-y as Giants fans, and have as much tacky and cultish devotion to our team as Jets fans.

On top of all that, we give our players no foundation to stand on. Win and they’ll hear the cheers out on Seventh Avenue. Lose and we’ll boo you and your mother out of the goddamn Garden. No middle ground. No patience.

So welcome, Jeremy Lin! As a Knicks fan, I’m glad to have you. You have turned things around and I trust there will be no speed bumps in this process of you saving basketball in the city most known for it. As a compassionate human being, I can only say enjoy being New York’s hero as long as you can, and for your sanity’s sake, I hope you keep on Linning.

Ballin: When Monta Ellis had 30 points at halftime, I knew I was going to have to stay up for the second half. Totally worth it, just to see Monta finish with 48. Too bad the Warriors lost, but still.

Not so much: Do we have a real answer for why Brandon Jennings only took four shots in 28 minutes? Because this nonsense surely isn’t the truth.

Happy birthday: Steve Nash turned 38 yesterday, then did this to celebrate.

Not a bad gift to yourself. Also pretty nice of Scott Skiles to give him Drew Gooden as the big man defender on the pick-and-roll, which is like asking for Nash to get to the basket.

College!: Huge fourth quarter for Jimmer Fredette last night. He went for 13 points on 5-6 shooting with three threes, plus an assist and two steals. Afterwards, he married two girls because of Mormonism jokes.

More history, kind of: Congratulations to Paul Pierce for becoming the second-leading scorer in Boston Celtics history.

Not quite Kobe moving to No. 5 all-time but still pretty cool. I assume there are several video tributes planned.

Too specific: David Lee became the first Warriors power forward to have a triple-double since Chris Webber in 1993. Good for David Lee, but that’s a really weird stat to have on hand. Are we supposed to be impressed that David Lee finally did something neither Brandan Wright nor Brian Cardinal could have achieved?

Miller time: Brad Miller for three!

Brad is shooting 100 percent for three on the season, FYI. Sure, he’s only 1-for-1 but I have to imagine that’ll hold up for the whole season.

Other things: Get out of here, Norris Cole … Shoutout to Nikola Pekovic … Did not expect Chris Bosh to dunk this, but he’s surprised me before — mostly when he did the Maxim photo shoot … It’s official — Chauncey Billups has a torn Achilles and is done for the season. See you soon, J.R. Smith … Carmelo Anthony is out 1-2 weeks with a strained groin, but that’s OK because the Knicks have Jeremy Lin … Ricky Rubio’s 14 assists were a career-high, but I’d guess he’ll top that some time in the next 15 seasons

This isn’t every basket from Monta Ellis’ 48-point explosion, but it’s pretty close. If you’re concerned that you’re missing out, just imagine a couple more twisty layups and some free throws to get the whole picture.

Or just consult Scotty Brooks, who’ll surely be seeing these highlights over and over in his sleep.

Way back in the beginning of January, Kobe Bryant said his New Year’s resolution was to stop cursing in interviews. ‘Twas a noble gesture for a dad with two growing daughters, especially since his late period cussing period was starting to win him back some fans.

It seems like he’s holding true to his word, giving this hilarious response to an email asking if he’s the reason Dwight Howard doesn’t want to sign an extension with the Lakers. From the New York Post:

“omg! I’m not getting mixed up in this kiddy drama spit, bro. too old for that spit,” Bryant responded via email.

Too old for “kiddy drama spit,” but apparently not too old to use the term “kiddy drama spit.” Real Catch-24 situation right there.

If Dwight Howard didn’t want to sign with the Lakers, I’m not sure how he’ll feel after seeing this response. Maybe this is Kobe trying to convince him that he wants him in Los Angeles while also trying to make it seem like he’s not on the downside of his career, kind of like a dad buying a really sweet pair of jeans to seem cool to his kids. Dwight seems in to wacky, childish things so maybe it’ll work.

Props to Kobe for doing his best to not swear — though, I guess, Peter Vescey could be doing a little editing for Kobe to make him look good but let’s just chill with the Kobspiracy theories and also the bad Kobe puns — but it came out hilarious. This is one of the most competitive professional athletes we’ve even seen and he’s typing “omg!” and “kiddy drama spit” like he’s a teenager who doesn’t want his mom to see him swearing in text messages. This is pilgrim hat funny.

(via EOB)

Just because Kendrick Perkins never went to college, doesn’t mean he didn’t learn the same Greek philosophy stuff you and I did taking Bernard Toussaint’s PHIL120 course on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8:30am. He totally knows all that stuff — Plato, Aristotle, Cicero — you know, the hits.

I mean, he must. How else to explain this crafty Socratic trick he pulled on some reporters? From the Los Angeles Times:

“Can you name me five players off the 2004 All-Star team?”

The reporter scratched his head.

“Can you name me who won the championship in 2004?”

Detroit, the reporter answered.

“My point exactly.”

Boom. That’s how you do it. That’s how you accomplish the rare triple feat of making a reporter feel silly, yourself look smart and proving your point with a simple line of questioning. Wonderful performance. Flawless victory.

Of course, if whoever this reporter is would have thought for a second about the 2004 season, he probably would have been able to name five players from the 2004 All-Star team like it’s no big deal. Shaq and Kobe were still together, Yao Ming still controlled the Chinese voting block, there were a bunch of Western Conference Hall of Fame forwards (Duncan, Garnett, Nowitzki), Allen Iverson and Tracy McGrady were relevant, and there were a host — A HOST! — of mid-2000s legends kicking around. Heck, Brad Miller was All-Starring it up back then, though I’ll admit I might be the only one who can come up with that one off the dome.

Nonetheless, pretty solid work by Kendrick Perkins. Not only did he prove his point that teamwork is important for championship teams, he also made sense of his extended goatee. He’s been showing his love for Greek facial hair culture for quite some time, but it’s only now that it’s become evident. Nice to finally get some resolution.

(via Detroit Bad Boys)

Being a fan of a particular sports team can be both rewarding and harrowing, and the team you root for will mostly dictate how much pleasure you derive from the experience. It hasn’t been a very fun time to be a New York Knicks fan over the last decade or so — they haven’t won a playoff series since 2000 — so there have been plenty of boos raining down from the rafters of Madison Square Garden.

One player who has been a recipient of more verbal abuse from fans than most Knicks is Jared Jeffries. They don’t boo him because he’s lazy or dumb, because he is neither of those things. They boo him because he has an unfortunate tendency to miss uncontested shots. He’s not quite the worst offensive player in the league — that would be Reggie Evans and I’ll fight you if argue otherwise — but he’s pretty awful at that end of the court. Among the 313 NBA players who have taken at least 50 field goal attempts this season, Jeffries’ .349 field goal percentage ranks 288th. If you’re not a stat nerd like I am, allow me to break that down for you: That’s not good.

And so, Jared Jeffries gets booed… a lot. Well, Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni has had enough!

“Indulge me for a second, anybody who boos Jared Jeffries has got to reexamine their life a little bit. I love our fans and I like Madison Square Garden, the arena, but here’s a guy who came back to us, minimum contract. He could’ve gone to a lot of other teams. He plays as hard as anybody could possibly ever play, with injuries, everything you ask him. He takes every charge, every dirty play, every rebound. He works every second.”

You hear that, Knicks fans, you big meanies? Coach Mike thinks you should order some copies of Chicken Soup for the Fan of a Perennially Losing Team’s Soul and Don’t Sweat the Blown Layups off Amazon and figure out a way to convert all that negative energy into something more constructive. Instead of booing Jeffries, try yelling “A-plus for effort, Jared!” or “You’ll catch the ball next time it’s passed to you in the post, Jared!”

In all seriousness, good for D’Antoni for sticking up for his guy. Jeffries certainly appreciates the support: “I’ll die for him. I’ll leave blood on the court… because he’s the best coach in the NBA.”

I can’t say I agree with Jeffries about the “best coach” part, but D’Antoni’s heart is obviously bigger than his playbook.

I’m not entirely certain that a backup guard with 23 games of experience needs a full-on documentary, but when it’s teaser is a tiny guy backed by The Weeknd you know the internet is going to love it. Really excited for Nate Robinson’s cameo, since every doc needs a little comic relief.

(via Ziller)

Not to turn this in to The Jeremy Lin Jones, but the guy is the biggest story in the NBA. In the past two games, he’s scored 53 points, which is two-thirds as much as he scored in an entire season for the Golden State Warriors. He’s led the Knicks to two straight wins, which is embarrassingly the second-longest win streak New York has enjoyed this year. Basically, he’s the best point guard in NBA history and that’s not even an exaggeration one bit.

And the crazy thing is, he’s been doing it without anywhere to live. From Ken Berger at CBS:

He had toiled in the D-League, been tossed aside by the Warriors and Rockets, and wasn’t sure he’d be long for this part of the basketball world, either. How unsure was he? Lin had been crashing at his brother’s place when coming home late from road games, as the Knicks did after a crushing loss in Boston Friday night. But there was no room at the inn – his brother had ample house guests, Lin said – so he slept on teammate Landry Fields’ couch the night before the best game of his life.

“I think I may just go move in with him,” Lin said.

That’s from a couple days ago, after Jeremy Lin had his first awesome game. He didn’t move in with Landry Fields, but that’s not stopping him from pursuing his good luck charm.

From an NBA TV interview after the Knicks’ win over the Jazz:

“Yeah, I am [moved out from Landry Field's place] but I’m negotiating a price with him right now. I’m gonna try to buy that [couch]. I think it has some kind of magical power or something.

I’m not there any more, but he’s a great teammate and he let me stay there for the night. So thank you to him.”

So, just to break things down, Jeremy Lin has had a great two game stretch for one of the NBA’s most famous franchises, during which he’s been sleeping at his brother’s house or on a teammate’s couch, which may or may not have magical powers. This literally sounds like a movie treatment.

Or at the very least, it’s the introduction to a Bravo reality show. I can’t believe “Thousandaire Housefinder” hasn’t already got the green light.

On today’s live episode of “The Fix,” Skeets and Tas discuss the Tebow-like “Jeremy Lin Show,” Jared Jeffries’ heart, a happy Tyson Chandler, the double-edged sword that is Kobe, Lou Williams’ heroics, checkerboard tattoo and bobblehead, that controversial call in Portland, and JaVale McGee’s epic “.GIF of the Night.” All that, plus a new round of Crossfire, which includes whether the Pacers or Sixers deserve “East Elite” status, NBA All-Star starter mistakes, and why Bosh should stop splashing around in fountains if he wants more people to like him.

LINKS: TBJ Facebook | TBJ Store | TBJ F.A.Q.

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It’s magnets, duh. How else are we supposed to believe that a guy who’s been bald the past few years suddenly has a full head of stubbly hair? It’s gotta be magnets.

Glad this is settled. Now to figure out why Joakim Noah’s sideburns won’t connect to his goatee.

Ballin: 28 points and 19 rebounds for DeMarcus Cousins, all on 11-20 shooting. Three blocks and a steal, as well. Plus, the Kings won on the same night as the Wizards, which has amazingly already happened twice this season.

Not so much: The Nets had 37 points at halftime, which is two more than the Bulls had in the first quarter.

History: Here’s Kobe Bryant passing Shaq for fifth all-time in scoring.

Congratulations. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

Guys who got MVP chants last night (an incomplete list): Jeremy Lin and Brian Scalabrine.

For this: This must have been why Scal got those chants.

I’m not proud of it, but I laughed at this. A lot.

Point guard problems: Derrick Rose left last night’s game after playing 11 minutes because he was suffering from back spasms. Not awesome. Chauncey Billups left last night’s game after playing 31 minutes because he probably tore his Achilles. Even less awesome.

Block or no block?: Kind of an important play right here.

Criminy that is impossible to call in real time. I think the refs probably botched it but you try making that non-reviewable call at full speed. No thanks.

One good thing: At least the Nets’ retro jerseys looked good.

Classic Wizards: Oh, JaVale.

Quite likely that this guy is having the funniest season of all-time.

Stop the presses: Reggie Evans made a 16-foot jumpshot last night. According to HoopData, he’s shooting 100 percent from 16-23 feet.

Other things: Danilo Gallinari has a chipped bone in his ankle, which is terrible for the Nuggets and my fantasy team … Old Man Knees strikes again! … I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but Carmelo Anthony is wearing a sleeve on every limb of his body … Pair this beautiful Kobe layup up side-by-side with that Dr. J one and you’ve got yourself a nice YouTube video … This Andre Iguodala shot was just silly

I take it all back. I underestimated Jeremy Lin.

Clearly he is this season’s Most Valuable Player and Most Improved Player, not to mention People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, Time’s Person of the Year and will soon receive the Nobel Peace Prize for averting riots in the Tri-State Area. He might even win Best Actor at the Academy Awards. At this point, nothing is off the table.

Meet me at the tattoo parlor at 1:30. We all have an appointment to get Jeremy Lin tattoos.

(via CJ Fogler)

How about that Super Bowl? It seems when the New York Giants and New England Patriots meet in the big game, it’s going to be dramatic. Unfortunately for the Pats, they’re 0-2 against Big Blue and, yeah, Eli Manning is on the same elite level as Tom Brady. I’m talking about the wrong sport, but you have to give props to champions. Hopefully, you’ll be getting the same type of props at the end of the regular NBA season too, right?

Read below for some help.

Waiver Wire Considerations

John Salmons, SG/SF, Sacramento Kings (36% owned in Yahoo! leagues)
Salmons has been having a disappointing season thus far, averaging only 7.9 PPG on 37.6 percent shooting for the season. However, he did average 14.0 (73 games in 2010-11) and 19.9 (30 games in 2009-10) in a little under a season-and-a-half with the Milwaukee Bucks previously. So what happened? It could be age (31 years old) showing a decline in skill or it could be a new team of youngsters that are going to shoot the ball. Yeah, we’ll go with the latter and the aforementioned hideous field goal percentage. This season, Salmons is averaging 8.5 shot attempts (12.3 last season) and about 29.5 minutes of play (35.0 last season). However, in his last two games, Salmons is averaging 12.5 shot attempts and almost 40 minutes on the court. He shot 13-for-25 in that brief span with 16.5 points and a trio of triples. Two games do not make an undeniable trend for improvement for Salmons, but given his track record and the playing time he’s getting, Salmons certainly deserves to at least be watched.

Jason Thompson, PF/C, Sacramento Kings (30%)
We stay in Sactown and look at the previously big man of the future before being supplanted by DeMarcus Cousins for that dubious title. In his last three games, Thompson has produced a double-double in each contest averaging 13.7 points and 13.0 rebounds. He was inserted into the starting line-up on January 18 and in nine games is averaging 10.9 points and 9.1 rebounds. Certainly with all of the big men going down this season, Thompson has a place on more than 30 percent of Yahoo! league teams. He’s a definite add in standard leagues if you need help at the five with boards and shooting percentage, as well as a nice showing in points.

Greivis Vasquez, PG/SG, New Orleans Hornets (23%)
What’s going on with Vasquez? In his last five games, including two starts for an injured Jarrett Jack, Vasquez has scored in double-digits (14.2 PPG) and even has a 12-assists performance in the mix (7.6 APG during this period). He’s also shot 52.9 percent from the field, produced a steal, a trey and averaged 30 minutes of burn during this time. Jack will eventually get back to being the starter, but Vasquez has earned more minutes in the rotation moving forward. He’s a short-term add in standard leagues and might even be available in a deep league. If so, grab him off the waiver wire while he’s hot.

Jordan Farmar, New Jersey Nets (18%)
In nine of Farmar’s last ten games, he’s scored in double-digits, averaging 13.7 PPG. He has also hit 17 three-pointers on 51.5 percent shooting from long-range. Farmar has been producing more with rookie sensation MarShon Brooks sitting on the sideline with a foot injury that will keep him sidelined a couple of more weeks. Farmar is an instant add in deep leagues and if you want a boost in threes and free throw percentage (21-for-22 in the last 10 games and 92.3 percent for the season) in standard leagues, pick up Farmar from the wire. At only 18 percent ownership in Yahoo! leagues, he’s a nice value add in the middle of the season.

Trevor Booker, PF, Washington Wizards (13%)
Booker is back to being a starter because of a calf injury to Andray Blatche, but Booker didn’t exacly have a great game back in the the starting lineup, scoring only four points and grabbing four rebounds. However, it was against the vastly improved Los Angeles Clippers. What Booker still did during the game is block, collecting two swats, which has been about his average the last six games (1.8). Also in that span of time, Booker has averaged 9.5 points, all of this in limited minutes. Theoretically, with more minutes there’s more production, so Booker is worth a speculative add if you were a Blatche owner or need some big man help. It should be noted that last season, in 14 games as a starter (30 minutes per game), Booker averaged 10.2 points on 55.9 percent shooting from the field and 7.6 rebounds.

Alonzo Gee, SG/SF, Clevland Cavaliers (10%)
Gee has never played 30 minutes or more during a game this season until the last two. He averaged 16.0 points on 50 percent shooting from the floor, 4.5 rebounds and two threes per game in this small sample size of production. In deep leagues, Gee should be owned as he’s a good young player that could be part of the franchise’s future plans to grow with Kyrie Irving. Gee at the very least has been outperforming Omri Casspi, who many were in Cleveland were excited about acquiring.

To Stash or Not to Stash

I’ve been asked about a few specific injured players in regards to picking them up from the waiver wire to stash them for the playoffs in H2H formats. Let’s take a look at the trio and where they are in their rehab to get back on the hardwood.

- Manu Ginobili (84% owned) is expected to return within a couple of weeks after suffering a broken left hand, his shooting hand. He’s been cleared to shoot and should get back on the court soon. Once he gets back, his minutes will be limited, especially since the youngsters have done a fine job filling in for Manu’s production. A conservative time to pick him up would be at the end of this week. If you want to gamble, pick him up now.

- Zach Randolph (62%) is currently out with a torn MCL in his right knee and is expected back until late February/early March with the latter looking more likely. The Grizzlies have a long term investment in Z-Bo and currently sit at 12-12, 1.5 games out of a playoff spot. Depending on where the Grizz are in a few weeks will dictate the strategy they will take in getting Randolph on the floor. So, with things still up in the air, I wouldn’t be a Z-Bo owner right now since he won’t be back for about a month. Conversely, don’t grab Z-Bo off the wire for at least two weeks. See where he and the team are then to reassess.

- Brook Lopez (58%) has been out the whole season with a stress fracture in his right foot and could return in about two weeks. He’s already doing drills, running, and shooting the ball. The Nets are taking their time and looks like they are going to make certain Lopez is 100 percent ready to play in a game. Of course, he’s also the main piece in any Dwight Howard trade, so the healthier he is, the better he should play, which would erase any doubt about his durability. At only 58 percent owned, many people are sleeping on Lopez’s potential, which probably has to do with the stigma of playing for the Nets. I’d pick him up at the end of the week to stash him. However, if any positive news comes out before then, I’d do at the same time as reading said news.

Fantasy Thoughts To Jump Off From

- As most NBA fans, I’ve been really impressed with Paul George since he entered the league. In the last two weeks, he’s been one of the best players in the NBA, at least fantasy-wise. George averaged 14.9 points on 50.0 FG% and 94.4 FT%, 2.2 3PTM, 6.1 rebounds, 2.0 assists, 1.8 steals and 1.0 blocks per game. The overall production is a fantasy hoops manager’s dream. If he keeps it up, he definitely moves up the list of two guards next season, maybe even into a top 10 spot.

- After very slow starts, two of the NYC areas top ballers have come back to where they should be in the past week. Amar’e Stoudemire had a lot of people wanting him traded, but in the past week has produced 20.5 points on 53.1 FG% and 82.4 FT%, 7.7 rebounds and 1.5 blocks in four games. Deron Williams, shooting abysmally at the beginning of the season, has turned things around averaging 23.3 points on 43.6 FG% (hey, it’s an improvement!) and 85 FT%, 10.3 assists, 2.0 3PTM, 4.0 rebounds and 1.3 steals. The reports of their fantasy demise were greatly exaggerated.

Number of Team Games in Week 7

Four Games: ATL, BOS, CHI, CLE, DEN, HOU, IND, LAC, LAL, MEM, MIA, MIL, MIN, NJN, NYK, OKC, ORL, PHI, PHO, POR, SAC, TOR, UTA, WAS
Three Games: CHA, DAL, DET, GSW, NOR, SAS

Follow me on Twitter (@dv140) and feel free to ask me any question about fantasy hoops. You can also e-mail me at dennis DOT velasco AT gmail DOT com.

If Bridgestone really wanted to play a totally silent NBA game, they should just sponsored a Pistons game in Detroit. The only thing there that could wake up a baby is Ben Wallace missing free throws.

(via I Am a GM)

The synergy between basketball and hip-hop has been there ever since Big Bank Hank of the Sugarhill Gang — the fat one with the weird hat — bragged about watching the Knicks playing basketball on his color TV in 1979. (Why it was so great watching the depressing late-’70s Knicks in standard def is beyond me, but this guy also thought it was a good idea to call Superman a fairy, so yeah.) Since then, every new month has brought with it a new spate of basketball references in rap lyrics, adding to the shared culture and history between the two mediums of artistic expression.

So in the first of what will hopefully be a recurring column on this site, I’m going to look at some of rap’s most high profile and/or noteworthy baller name-drops from the month of January 2012, break them down and grade them. And remember, when I shout out “Jackson! Tyson! Jordan!,” it is your civic responsibility to holler back “GAME SIX!!”

TYGA, “RACK CITY”: “I need my money pronto / Get it in the morning like Alonzo / Rondo, green got cheese like a nacho.”

Technically a holdover from late 2011, “Rack City” really broke out in the first weeks of 2012, and thus gets inclusion here for one of its more perplexing lyrics. The “morning like Alonzo” part of it is easily understood (though thoroughly meaningless), but the next line is a little harder to decipher. Is the Young Money young’n saying that Rajon Rondo, while wearing his Boston green, has cheese like a nacho? (Rondo is making a cool $10 mil this year, though that still ranks him as just the team’s fourth highest-paid player.) Is it that Rondo and the rest of his Green brethren are super rich? (Hard to argue with, I suppose.) Or is the “green” in reference to Rondo’s teammate Jeff Green, whose salary was voided this year due to his medical exemption? (Tyga released the song on December 2nd and thus could not have known this ahead of time.)

Of course, none of these explanations would in any way tie in with Alonzo Mourning, or the pressing need to be paid before lunchtime, none of them really make sense, and all of them bring up the mental image of nacho cheese. “Rondo, green got cheese like a croque-monsieur” would’ve been a lot more appetizing.

Grade: D+ (But if you’ve never watched the video, holy hell you must)

LIL WAYNE ON TYGA’S “FADED”: “Mama, there go that monster / Abracadabra, Magic Johnson.”

Tyga continues the hoops references on latest single “Faded,” crudely boasting (threatening?) “I’m Ben Wallace, dunk up in your basket,” but the best hoops drop comes from guest rapper Lil Wayne, who begins his verse “Mama there go that monster,” a reference guaranteed to make NBA on ABC fans misty-eyed for the halcyon days of Mark Jackson broadcasts. Unfortunately, as much good will as he gets with that little nugget — and it’s an impressively deep one, without so much as a “Mark Jackson” hashtag to explain the reference — he loses most of it right back with the worthless “Abracadabra, Magic Johnson” follow-up. Yes, Magic was also a basketball player, and “abracadabra” puns off Magic’s on-court wizardry and first name, but it still comes off as lazy and underdeveloped, an unfortunately recurring theme for Weezy guest spots of late.

As long as Wayne was referencing Mark Jackson’s days as a broadcaster, not player, why not do the same for No. 32? “Can’t understand a word you saying / Magic Johnson” would’ve been a lot more satisfying, I think.

Grade: C

ACTION BRONSON, “CONTEMPORARY MAN”: “Just a white man excelling in a black sport / Like a Pistol Pete.”

Appropriately for Bronson’s “Contemporary Man” — which belies its title with its sampling of numerous ’80s pop smashes (Phil Collins’ “Sussudio,” Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer,” John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane”) — Bronson does not go the obvious modern route when finding his kindred minority spirit in the NBA. It seems like these days, everyone and their mother is referencing Kevin Love, the first white superstar in 20 years (longer?) — Ludacris name-dropped him in “Furiously Dangerous,” Snoop rocked his jersey in Far*East Movement’s “If I Was You” video, Diddy even hung out with him at a Wolves shootaround — but Bronson reaches all the way back to Pete Maravich, the last white guy to win a scoring title (possibly for a long-ass time) back in 1977.

Appropriate for the rapper, appropriate for the song. An all-around good call.

Grade: B+

GAME ON SOULJA BOY’S “TOO FADED”: “I like my bitch authentic, no fake titties or ass / If she do, I Ricky Rubio that ho / I pass”

Grantland’s Amos Barshad already expressed his lack of surprise at (The) Game being the first rapper to name-drop Ricky Rubio, and his disappointment at the general banality of the reference. It’s hard to disagree with either point. No rapper in history has ever name-dropped more than Game (and few appear more diligent in their League Passing as Kobe and Kris Humphries also get shoutouts in the same guest verse alone), and as great a phrase as “I Ricky Rubio that ho” undoubtedly is, to just use the rookie sensation’s name as a synonym for the word “pass” does feel like kind of a wasted opportunity. Still, begrudging points to Jayceon for getting there first.

(Barshad also lists a number of phrases for future rappers to use that rhyme with Rubio, but his advice is unneeded. Just see the entire second half of Drake’s verse on Birdman’s “Money to Blow.”)

Grade: C+

DON TRIP, “ALLEN IVERSON”

No lyrics listed here, since none of Don Trip’s lyrics in “Allen Iverson” directly reference either A.I. or any other basketball figure, instead using vague lyrical sentiments that could be referring to life in the street, on the court or on the mic (“Show me a man that’s never suffered a scar / And I’ll show you a man that’s never given his all”). Rather, Iverson’s presence is felt through sampled clips of the man himself, first from his incredibly emotional “That’s not me” speech upon returning to the Sixers in 2010, and then from his “Who is you?” interview with Stephen A. Smith in 2005, played as breaks in between the song’s first two verses.

It’s an inspired use of the Iverson samples — though it’s unfortunate that you can still hear the sound of the NBA TV graphics appearing and disappearing during the “That’s not me” speech — and A.I.’s words positively drip with humanity over the song’s dramatic, almost “Rocky”-like Cool & Dre beat. It’s little bit disappointing, though, when Trip resorts to bringing back Iverson’s overplayed “We talkin’ ’bout practice” speech at the end, like a DJ thrilling a club with rare Jay-Z freestyles, then dropping “Izzo.” We know, we know.

Grade: B

DRAKE ON RICK ROSS’ “STAY SCHEMIN’”: “Kobe ’bout to lose 150 Ms / Kobe my nigga, I hate it had to be him / Bitch you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym”

Probably the basketball reference from the still-young 2012 that’s gotten the most attention, Drake takes a guest spot on Rick Ross’ “Rich Forever” mixtape to give his condolences to buddy Kobe Bryant about his impending divorce. The pity that Drake shows for Kobe is surprising, both because he seems to view Kobe as the obvious victim in this situation — not to dwell in the past, but ahem, 2003, Colorado — and because his sympathy is expressed purely for the monetary implications of the divorce, deeming Vanessa undeserving of her generous settlement (while Rick Ross apparently agrees enough to reiterate the sentiment immediately after).

Unsurprisingly, the lyric (especially the Rozay-repeated “Bitch you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym” line) has taken on a life of its own, so much so that Drizzy was asked about it in a recent interview. “That line came from a conversation about being this young and making this much money and the fear of losing it all,” Drake told Nah Right. “I just used his potential situation to address my own life. I never intended to offend Vanessa or anyone else. That line had everything to do with me and what goes on in my head as a 25 year old man with this much income flowing in. Kobe is and always will be a friend and an icon to me.”

No surprise that the guy who once claimed that “sports and music are so synonymous / Because we wanna be them, and they wanna be us” would relate to Kobe so deeply, and it’s certainly a perspective on the situation that not many are going to have, and a very memorable lyric to boot. Still, it’s hard not to see the lyric coming off as more than a little bit cold to the ex-Mrs. Bryant. She might not have been with him shooting in the gym, but she was with him through a lot of shit that 99 percent of spouses never have to go through. Maybe it merits her $150 million, maybe not — though reports have her “only” getting $75 mil anyway, along with some mansions — but it probably wouldn’t kill a female-friendly rapper such as Drake to show her a little understanding.

(By the way, should Drake really be so buddy-buddy with Kobe after what he did to Young Aubrey’s hometown Raptors six years ago? No loyalty among celebrities these days, honestly.)

Grade: B-

Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering if Kevin Garnett can shoot three-pointers? Me too.

Lucky for us, we’ve got the answer. From Mark Murphy of the Boston Herald:

“I can shoot 3’s,” Garnett said after hitting a bomb yesterday for the third straight game during the Celtics’ 98-80 win over the Memphis Grizzlies.

“Don’t get used to it, ya’ll,” said Garnett. “Listen. I can shoot 3’s. I’m 50 and I’m out here with one leg and a cane, some nights are better than others. I’m human and I mess up, but I can shoot 3’s. I don’t (do) 3’s because we have one of the all-time greatest 3-point shooters in Ray Allen. We have Paul Pierce, who has won the 3-point contest. We have other guys who can shoot 3’s.

“It’s not my role here. My job is to get those guys open, and if it’s thrown to me, dunk it or pass it, cool. But I can shoot 3’s.

“When I walk around the streets, ya’ll stop acting like your shocked that I can shoot 3’s. In Boston, everybody in the world, everybody in Minnesota, LA, Concord, Lexington, Burlington, I can shoot 3’s. Let that go.

“Ya’ll are acting all shocked, like you haven’t seen a black guy hit a 3 before. What the hell is going on with ya’ll? Doc (Rivers) grabbed me today — shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot. I hit the 3 and looked at him like, ‘Huh? That’s what you want? I can shoot 3’s.’ Do not get all, ‘Scal shoot.’ No, I do not want that. Don’t do that to me. I am here to do other things — not shoot 3’s.”

Got it? Kevin Garnett can shoot threes in a lot of different situations and he wants everyone to know about it.

It’s a little confusing, so I drew up a chart to help you keep things straight.

Once you see it mapped out like this, it’s pretty easy to keep things straight. Basically, as long as you don’t call him Brian Scalabrine, Kevin Garnett can shoot threes. Glad that’s cleared up.

That image right there — Jeremy Lin looking boss while holding a basketball in single teapot formation — is the splash page for Knicks.com. Yes, really. A guy who scored a fifth of his career points in his last game, who has gone for double-digits in two other games, and has played 39 total games and has zero starts is the reason you should buy tickets for tonight’s game against the Jazz. He is starting after all.

Only for the Knicks would a player who wasn’t on the roster on opening day be a reason to spend money to watch a game a month-and-a-half later. Only they would feature a player who is only playing because the coach tried everyone else he could think of at point guard before calling for a guy who could be fourth-string within two weeks. Just hilarious marketing by those Don Drapers over at Madison Square Garden. Way to strike while the iron is piping hot.

So if you’re a big Jeremy Lin fan, tonight’s the night. We all thought Baron Davis was the only guy who could save Mike D’Antoni’s job, but I guess we underestimated the guy getting nine minutes a game and who is now the Knicks’ website-appointed savior. Easy mistake to make.

On today’s live episode of “The Fix,” Skeets and Tas take you through their winners and losers of the NBA weekend. On the honor roll: the suddenly feisty Indiana Pacers, (2012 All-Star) Tony Parker, the #FreeSteveNash movement, and 76ers color commentator, Malik Rose, for referencing one of The Cosby Show’s greatest episodes. On the shit list: Kevin Love for stompin’ Scola, TBJ for passing on Luol Deng’s All-Star bid, and good ol’ Charles Barkley. All that, plus Tas’ eventful Super Bowl night, and Trey’s lin-credible “Nower Rankings.”

LINKS: TBJ Facebook | TBJ Store | TBJ F.A.Q.

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I don’t know about you, but it is weird for me to think of professional athletes driving cars. For whatever reason, it always feels like they’re chauffeured or in a plane. It just seems strange to me that a basketball player would be driving his car down the street. It seems so normal.

But they do drive, because they have to get places somehow. And if they’re driving, then they’re crashing occasionally. It happened to LaMarcus Aldridge this weekend thanks to a little Maybach Music. From the Oregonian:

It was one of those days where everything was going right. He had a great nap. Rick Ross was bumping on his stereo in his “baby” — a 2009 black Ferrari — and he was on his way to the Rose Garden, where he and the Trail Blazers play so well.

“I was feeling good, feeling great,” Aldridge said. “It felt like it was going to be one of those nights where I didn’t miss. I felt really rested, had good music going, just in a really good mood. It was like, it couldn’t be any better.”

Then disaster struck.

He was on Broadway, a couple of blocks away from the Rose Garden, when a 2003 Toyota in front of him moved into the left lane. It was like the lane had opened and he had a clear path to the hoop. So he drove.

But the driver of the Toyota changed his mind. He wanted back in the right lane, and veered in without signaling. The cars collided, with Aldridge’s Ferrari ending up beached on the curb, interlocked with the Toyota.

Oh man, wrecking your car is the worst. Between the time it takes to figure out insurance stuff, court proceedings and getting a new car, it’s such a hassle. Lucky for him he’s a multi-millionaire who probably already has another few fancy cars to choose from.

But still, wrecking a Ferrari is probably a pretty big bummer. Imagine how sad you were when you wrecked your 10-year-old Cutlass Supreme then multiply that by 100. Then factor in that he was listening to Rick Ross — and that there is a legitimate chance he was hearing a lyric about a black Ferrari that looks like the Batmobile — and this is not a great way to start the weekend.

Luckily no one was hurt, and the crash didn’t seem to bother LaMarcus, as he put up 29 points, nine rebounds and five assists just a few hours after seeing his baby get destroyed. I’m sure the cost and the safety concerns are prohibitive, but if the Trail Blazers could figure out a way to have their superstar total a luxury sports car before every game, they’d have an MVP candidate on their hands. It’s an idea so crazy it just might work.