2. Tell them you're not interested.

3. Just say Goodbye.

4. Tell them to go away.

5. Speak a language different from the telemarketer

6. Don't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number.

7. Tell them to stop calling this number.

8. Answer and then hangup

9. Ask them to 'please repeat' every 30 seconds.

10. Belch on the phone.

11. Say 'no thank you'

12. Answer the phone and stage a domestic dispute.

13. Ask them personal questions.

14. Tell them you would like to send them a personal check but you need their home number to call them back.

15. Ask them what you need to do in order to make more than them.

16. Try to upsell them on a product of yours

example: 'ok ok ok, I hear what you're saying but listen to this... I have the most comfortable chair in the world do you like foof chairs?'

17. Pretend as if the call was a call back for a voice audition and act excited let them know which song you are going to sing for them and then start singning.

18. Tell the telemarketer that they have a sexy voice and that you are looking for new talent, and then ask them if they would be interested in auditioning. What industry? Must you really ask?

19. Repeat everything that the telemarketer has said to you

20. Interrupt them every 1 minute by asking questions

21. Tell them that you need to think about and that you'll call them back at home once they've settled down

22. Answer the phone and leave it on speaker phone, and walk away while talking.

23. Answer the phone and act as crass as possible.

24. Answer the phone and try your best to get free stuff, tell them you want the hook up without the 'hook'

25. Act as if you are serious danger and ask them for advice

26. Sound as if you are having a bad day and tell them that you just need someone to talk to

27. Speak in reverse (pig latin)

28. Agree with everything and just as they are going to close the deal act as if you are breaking up or can't hear them

29. Just laugh the whole time on the phone until they hang up

30. Using any method, annoy them so much until they say, 'have a good day sir/ ma'am'

31. Pant really loud into the phone

32. Play loud music into the phone

33. Tell how much of a fan you are of Kris Kross, and if they ask who, then start singing the 'Jump!'chorus

34. Speak to them in pimp language (I have no clue what is pimp language, but a buddy of mine is good at sounding like a pimp)

35. Pretend to be a broken answering machine, that just repeats the message.

36. Act as if you owe them money and start talking frantically and saying, 'Please don't hurt me, i'll pay you as soon as tomorrow, meet me on Main street around 9pm and I promise you no tricks'

37. Act as if they owe you money and start talking with a serious tone, 'I'm glad you called finally called, now where is my money?'

38. Re-enact an a skit from 'Crank Yankers'

39. Read the bill of rights on the phone

40. Read the constitution over the phone

41. Read a recipe over the phone

42. Speak your mind over the phone

43. Try your best to get them to flip out over the phone

44. Tell them you have that stuff for sale that they've always wanted, but this time it's gonna cost them. If they ask what stuff, tell them 'you know the stuff i'm talking about'

45. Ask them if this conversation is being recorded (they have to say yes by law if so), if they answer no, then hang up. If they answer yes, then tell them the deal can't go down this way, if they ask what you're talking about keep it going. 'repeat this type of deal can't go down like this, you tryin to get me busted?'

46. Ask for relationship advice

47. Try to recruit them to be a phone sex operator

48. Make car noises over the phone

49. Tell them that you won the lottery but can't find your ticket and if they stay on the phone while you look that you'll give them half.

50. Answer the phone and don't say a word, let them finish their sales pitch, ask them to repeat it please, once they complete the sales pitch ask them to repeat it one last time. Once they finish the sales pitch, tell them, 'I just saved one family a very peaceful dinner, good bye!'

51. Tell them that you have some hot products that you need to sell pronto, and ask if they would be interested.

52. Turn your answering machine into a marketing machine

53. Answer the phone by rapping some lyrics and ask them to be in your video

54. Answer the phone and ask them to hold for the person of the house and then answer the phone yourself using the same voice. Once they begin their pitch ask them to hold for another member of the house. Keep it going until they hangup.

55. Answer the phone upset and tell them that you already made the payment and to leave you alone

56. Read them information from the 'Do not call' website: Donotcall.gov

57. Tell them that they have to convince you why you shouldn't add your number to the 'Do Not Call List,' and if they can convince you not to, then you will buy what they're selling. (of course you don't ever want to buy what they are selling)

58. Tell them that the radiation from the phone will cause problems with the plates in your head

59. Ask them to explain the difference from what they are selling and their competitors

60. Speak really bad broken english to them

61. Tell them the difference between roses and daisies. (Just pick a bad and very boring topic)

62. Tell them the pot on the stove top is boiling over so they need to be as quick as possible. Once they get started then tell them to speed it up.

63. Ask them if it's a scam

64. Tell them that you fell for their scam once already and that you will not fall for it again

65. Answer the phone and ask them to speak after the beep. Then just as they get started, beep, and once they get rolling again, beep again.

66. Answer the phone and sit it next to your laptop as you type away

67. Read them a news article and ask for their opinions

68. Ask them if they use or have used what they are selling

69. Offer to give them Sales tips

70. Market your website by giving them your domain name

71. Tell them you want to help them start a new business

72. Recruit them to leave the telemarketing business behind.

73. Ask them if they work from home, if they say no, then tell them you have a great opportunity for them if they are interested (sell them an affiliate program or product)

74. Pretend to be attacked by birds (A buddy of mine did this and it was the funniest thing in the world)

75. Pretend to be accident prone and tell them that you just cut off your finger and need assistance. Ask them what to do.

76. Play an instrument over the phone and ask their opinion

77. Tell them that they have 10-15 seconds to tell you what they're selling. At the end of 10-15 seconds if they are still talking then hang up.

78. Ask them where their office is and tell them they have a package coming.

79. Ask them to speak as sexy as possible to you in order to keep you excited about what they are selling

80. Answer the phone while in the shower

81. Answer the phone and share a list of music bands that you enjoy and tell them why

82. Answer the phone using quotes from famous movies

83. Pretend to be a bland and boring person. Talk very slowly and mono-tone.

84. Act very annoyed over the phone

85. Act very innocent over the phone and pretend to be very interested. Ask the person to hold because you have another telemarketer on the other line.

86. Make the telemarketer win you over by telling them that you just received a better offer from another telemarketer

87. Read this post to them and tell them to stop annoying you

88. Read the spam law and ask them the difference between receiving unwanted calls and unwanted emails

89. Answer the phone and hold it next to the faucet as the water is running

90. Ask them to hold and give the phone to someone else

91. Tell them that you're the mistress or the 'other guy' and that the wife or husband just got home so you have to go

92. Ask them if they have  found religion

93. Threaten to report them to the authorities if they keep harassing you.

94. Tell them all of the things in your life that are currently going wrong

95. Tell them that you are just a burglar and that the '_____ family' is not in right now

96. Speak funny to them. 'What is it meow? How can i woof you?'

97. Speak to them in third person

98. Ask them to sing to you their sales pitch

99. Ask them if they like cats or dogs, then say 'Doh, wrong answer'

100. Put them on hold and leave the speaker phone on

101. Tell them you are in the middle of a crisis and are unsure as to what makeup (if you are a man) or mustache (if you  are a woman) to put on

This is a freebie for you all, if you are like me then you hate receiving calls from these telemarketers at all hours of the day. This is my effort to battle these annoyances.

Thinking Telemarketing

Smart Calling: Eliminate the Fear, Failure, and Rejection From Cold Calling List Price: $21.95 Sale Price: $12.26

The Complete Guide to Telemarketing Management List Price: $39.95 Sale Price: $35.96

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22. Because the corporate movie rental giant that shut down small mom and pop movie stores became cocky and sloppy

21. Blockbuster online is not as user friendly as Netflix

20. Netflix is the Godfather of online rentals and makes offers customers can't refuse

19. 10 out of 20 movies from Blockbuster online were scratched and or dented

18. 3 out of 20 movies from Netflix were scratched and or dented

17. Blockbuster focuses on highlighting how and why they are better than Netflix. A duck doesn't have to say it's a duck to be seen as a duck.

16. Blockbuster promotes Netflix in their commercials in attempts to persuade viewers that they truly have more to offer, nothing like free advertising

15. Blockbuster is more expensive than Netflix (cost of plan, cost of late "restocking" fee, & Gas)

14. Blockbuster needs Netflix to survive in the online rental industry. Netflix has and controls the resources and necessities that Blockbuster needs for online

13. Blockbuster was late to the party and caught with their pants down

12. 'This is blockbuster, you currently owe $495 for the following late movies...' Charging customers late fees daily for movie rentals not returned on time.

11. Being sued for illegal (original) late fee structure... very sneaky... Blockbuster loses the trust of loyal customers

10. 'No Late Fees... ever,' a few months later... 'You are being charged a restocking fee for the movie being late'

09. Because local is better, and Netflix delivers on time

08. Netflix is just the perfect convenient alternative, and delivers on time

07. Blockbuster Online Support has no real answers that help, instead they read you answers from the frequently asked questions and talk you around in circles in hopes that you will go away.

06. Threatening to cancel your membership means nothing to Blockbuster online

05. Blockbuster can't make their minds up about what to offer customers, All-Access or By mail?

04. Then, unlimited in-store movie exchanges... Now, limited in-store movie exchanges a month

03. Netflix counters Blockbusters' in-store exchange and still delivers faster with 'On demand' online download option

02. Blockbuster is currently in the process of closing their brick and mortar stores because the cost to debt ratio is killing them.

01. Blockbuster again loses it's loyal customers, online and in-store to Netflix due to the current plan change set to take place August 31 for current customers.

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Think Customer Service

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Source: ENT

09. Oh, did i mention that a transaction made without my final authorization cost me a good bit of change.

The First Incident: I set out to buy a couple thousand shares of GRA @ .75, this was set to roll out. Well, I had both GRA (Grace W.R. & Company) and XYB ( now XYBRQ known as XYBERNAUT Corporation) set to go to my plan. GRA was set to roll out first (this was authorized and added to the plan) not XYB. Needless to say some pinhead at Sharebuilder processed XYB instead (not authorized to go out). GRA is now trading at $20 a share and a few months ago it was trading at nearly $30, a $60k profit.

When asked what the hell did they do, the pinhead turned it all around on me and blamed me for making the transaction and got all bent out of shape. I was prepared to purchase my plane ticket to visit him at his office but he wouldn't give me too much of that info nor would his supervisor.

08. They hook you in with the $4 trade garbage, and then force you to pay $15.95 to sell your dieing stocks

07. If you set a limit to sell your stock be prepared to make a few bucks less then what you are expecting to make. When asked again 'WHAT THE HELL?' I got a basic out the book response of how stocks work, this i already knew but i did make sure to thank the guy for refreshing my memory of how stocks worked and for costing me $100.

06. They are not as fast at processing orders as their competitors. An order placed Monday will process Tuesday at 12pm if you're lucky. Usually by then the price of your stock has already gone up a few points if you are buying the stock on sale that fluctuates. NOT THE FASTEST GUN IN THE WEST, that's for sure.

05. Be prepared to pay up if you are attempting to switch your portfolio to another broker, that's if they are willing to work with you to do so.

04. They will call you until your phone dies about offers that you are not interested in... Yes, until your phone literally dies

03. The site tends to go bonkers every once and a while and you will not be able to sign into your account. Pages seem to go missing in mid click.

02. If you ask for a manager, make sure it's a manager and not the same pinhead disguising his voice. This is true and has happened twice.

01. Because the $4 a trade is a joke and there are other brokers that are more willing to meet your needs with FASTER processing times.

What are your experiences with Sharebuilder? What are some good brokers to consider?

I have one of my portfolios that is beginning to get some good attention at Sharebuilder and I'm seriously looking for another brokerage firm to move it to.

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Search engine optimization is very important to any site and with all of the plugins available to you there is no reason why anyone should left in the dark. Optimizing your blog site for traffic is essential to your success as a blogger and generally will allow your more time to focus more on your articles and other methods of marketing your blog.

8 SEO Plugins Your Blog Site Needs

1. All In One SEO Pack

The name says it all, everything you need for your blog site to automatically include search engine optimization.

more info here

2. Optimal Title v3.0 -

This plugin replaces the WP structure of adding your blog title before your post title (The Beef Jerky Blog > 'Post title here'). For more optimization you would use this plugin in order to reverse your blog title to appear after your post title ('Post title here' > The Beef Jerky Blog).

more info here

3. Search Meter -

This plugin allows you to record what people are looking for on your site and whether or not your visitors are finding what they are searching for. This can be very helpful as you will be able to see exactly what your visitors are seeking when they come to your site. This plugin will also help you further understand what your visitors are expecting from your site.

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4. Google Sitemap Generator v2 -

This plugin does exactly what the name states. This plugin creates a Google friendly XML sitemap that will increase your chances of getting your site indexed and ranked.

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5. Crawl Page Generator -

This plugin generates a crawl page for search engines to browse through your site and index your pages.

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6. Add Meta Tags -

This plugin adds XHTML META tags to your WordPress blog. Its design is based on the assumption that the WordPress categories are used as tags, so it requires no user configuration in order to work. On the other hand, the latest versions include all those features a SEO-concerned publisher would need in order to have total control over those meta tags.

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7. Premalink Redirct -

A WordPress plugin that replies a 301 permanent redirect, if requested URI is different from entry’s (or archive’s) permalink. It is used to ensure that there is only one URL associated with each blog entry.

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8. Feedburner FeedSmith -

This plugin allows you to replace the default WordPress feed feature with your Feed Burner feed. Do not worry about readers being forgotten about once you install this plugin. It redirects your feed readers to your Feed Burner feed so you can track your subscribers.

more info here

For the weekend take some time and make sure that your blog site is optimized for search engine traffic.

What do you think about these plugins? Helpful not helpful? Did I forget any?

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