The Beginnings of a Lifetime

Tong-tong-chiang!

2012-01-30T19:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

I know it's already the 8th day but hey, we've still got another week of celebrations, so, let the tong-tong-chiang continue!!

I must say that I haven't had my fair share of oranges, yet! I had like 3,4? Shameful, I tell you.

However, this year has been special! I had my first reunion dinner with the Ooi's!*firecrackers*

It was nerve-wrecking getting ready for the dinner. I bought myself a dress, weeks in advance but as the day got closer, I felt like it was too red, too big, too not me, too blahblahblah. And my mum wasn't any help in helping me to get dressed. All the other older dresses I have, she dismissed by pronouncing them too sexy! Can you believe that? I'm guessing you can.*sigh* And to make things worse, NO ONE in the family wore as much red as I did!

Le outfit.

And nothing on the day went right. I did my nails last minute and got them all smudged! The strap of my brand new bag broke and the tip of my heel came of, despite me just getting it done a month ago.*facepalm*

I guess, all that bad luck should have been a clear sign that things could only get better, because they did! I felt very at home with his family, despite my reservations. They welcomed me into their hearts, home and ang-pau lists!

Reunion dinner was real fun. The "kids" of the family had a separate table and very little alcohol. Then dinner was followed by catching up at one of the Ooi's place and birthday celebration for ah-kong(grandpa). There was also a musical performance by 2 of the cousins, in which, le boyfriend was roped in for the organ! It never amazes me to see him play because he just so talented!*PROUDNESS* I would upload the video, but I believe I might be burnt at the stake for that. So, I present you with pictorial evidence.

See, I was recording the whole performance!

Talented cousins. Oh, look! Grandma's looking!

Spent the night at the in-laws(first time in 7 years, SHAME ON ME!) and helped them prepare for prayers at night. Managed to squeeze in a few wishes at prayers as well.

All's well that ends well.=)

Here's to hoping for more beautiful Chinese New Year celebrations and thanking that big guy up above for all the beautiful family he's given me...=)

p.s. credits to the very beautiful Xiner Chan for the photos of the night!

2012-01-13T16:51:00.001+08:00

Love past & present.

2012-01-12T17:16:00.002+08:00

Listening to Adele means it's inevitable that you think of your past loves, no?

Well, that's how it is for me.

Her music is amazing, btw. I mean, it only makes sense that music that stems from such powerful emotions can only be as powerful, right?

I've been committed to one for almost 7 years now and I think if you've been reading my blog for awhile now, you must be quite familiar with our story. Every time I say the word 7, I stop and try to wrap my brain around it . 'Cos 7 is a pretty long time for someone to have loved imperfect me.

I've been foolish all my life-falling for the worst, most uncommitted people ever.

I've hurt myself, believing that they'd loved me at least a smidgen more than what was real.

I found obsessive love, which broke me down and drove me outta my mind.

Then i found simple, uncomplicated love.

I secretly tremble in fear every time I hear of a break p because it'd break my heart and almost kill me if this love ended.

I fear the uncertainties of life.

Even so, I thank God for every kind of love I've found.

They made me stronger and they help me believe that this time it could actually be the real deal.

Cheers to a New Year!

2012-01-05T19:16:00.003+08:00

Happy 2012!!!!!!!

5 days into a new year and I hope it's treating you better than the last! 2012's definitely been better than 2011, so far.

2011 has been a real whirlwind!

The year began with many fights and disagreements, which in itself were clear signs that the year was headed a bad way. Dad lost his wallet on the first day of the year! Talk about bad omens.

I was in Tokyo when the 2011 earthquake off the Pacific coast of Tohoku (東北地方太平洋沖地震) occurred. I was actually shopping like crazy at F21, Shinjuku when it happened and God, have I never felt more afraid and LONELY in my life before! That's also exactly the point I realised that everything else is so inconsequential. I'm still kinda raw about it actually. It was the scariest days of my life. All I wanted to do was come home. I was a real scared little pup. Looking back, I wish I'd reacted better. I wish I'd been stronger and braver. Sad it is that my last days in that beautiful country have been marred by such horrible memories. Nevertheless, in those few days, I learnt what it feels like to be loved and cherished by so many people who you never even thought would care about your existence. My host family the Suzuki's were a great source of strength and help. I crashed at their place the night after the earthquake and the kids insisted on bringing their futons down to sleep with me in the spare bedroom. I still do recall the tearful goodbyes at the Hachioji station.*sigh*

This was taken the day before I flew back to Malaysia.*Forgive my paleness.*

I'm looking forward to heading back to Tokyo again. Hopefully in a year or two, when we've saved enough. I never thought I'd say this but I really do miss that place!

However, it'd be very unfair to say that 2011 has been bad through and through.It just had too many things that didn't go exactly as I'd hoped it would. If there's one thing I've learnt from 2011 is that sometimes you just have to accept that things happens for reasons one doesn't understand yet and move on. Eventually, it'll all make sense. Eventually.

2011 has had it's highlights-I graduated with my diploma(finally!), our two friends from high school tied the knot, getting my driver's license(FINALLY!) and the birth of my closest friend's darling baby girl. We also managed to squeeze in some travelling this year-Genting Highlands(three times!January(Jason & I), May for Mother's Day as well as my dad's birthday and August with the Suzukis), Pulau Pangkor, Singapore & Malacca. Not to forget my trip to Hokkaido!

You know what, pictures speak a thousand more words, so, here you go, my year, almost chronologically:

January-Lunch at Siang. Blue-eyed me and crew-cut him.

January-女子会@阿久沢研. We baked all three from scratch!*proud moments*

February-Final year dissertation.*extremely proud moment*

February-Final Ikebana on display.

February-Farewell dinner with hostel mates.

February-Dinner with Dato' Mukhriz(see me peeking from behind him?)

February-Last dinner with labmates

February-Hokkaido

March-Farewell dinner with Ogiuchi Sensei & Yordmany

March- Flight home.

March-High school friends taking the plunge

March-The Graduation I never went to.*sobs*

August-Suzuki's come to KL

August-Getting acquainted with uni

September-The birth of Faith(that's her at 2months+, btw)

September-My birthday, at Pangkor.

October-Universal Studios Singapore

November-Meetup with girlfriends from primary school. Unfortunately I have just one pic.*sadface*

November-"Botched" free makeover by Kate.

December-United Buddy Bears come to KL! That's the Malaysian bear. (These fellas are gonna be here 'till February 15th, so go and visit them!)

December-Christmas Wonderland at Pavillion, KL

December-Malacca

Woah..only when I'm looking back at it now do I realise that the last year hasn't been so bad at all. I guess, it's been a year well spent, after all. I've been blessed in so many ways!

Here's to hoping for a better year for everyone and that the Mayan's predicted the end of the world off by about another 100 years!*cheers*

Love,

Suba.

p.s.maybe I'll post my resolutions sometime soon!

Christmas is in the air!

2011-12-08T20:12:00.001+08:00

Mum and I got into another one of our moods today. I was itching to get my hands on some pretty accessories and mum was just up for some adventure. We took off for The Curve at 1.30 p.m. in the rain! It takes about 45 minutes to get to Damansara from where we live...and plus the traffic and all, when we reached there it was almost 3!

Luckily, by the time we had lunch, the rain had stopped, and it looked like Christmas! That's my beautiful(very shy) mum, btw.

And these are the earrings I got. Love much?

I can't wait for Christmas! I don't celebrate it, but it's just one of those times of the year that's filled with much joyfulness in the air. Don't you think so? Blame the music and deco, I guess. It's just quite impossible not to feel joyful too~!

Another 17 days to Christmas,so, hurry up and get your shopping done. I am gonna take advantage of all the discounts around!;D

2011-12-05T16:38:00.001+08:00

"Be a man," people say it all the time. What does that even mean? Is it about strength? Is it about sacrifice? Is it about winning? Maybe it's simpler than that. You have to know when not to man up. Sometimes it takes a real man to set his ego aside, admit defeat and simply, start all over again.
-Grey's Anatomy, S08E04-

Where's the justice?

2011-12-01T17:07:00.001+08:00

*Warning! Angry rants ahead.*

So, it's the first day of December and we got quite a surprise this morning. Jason usually parks his car on the outside of the condo we rent, cos we don't quite have a lot to park at inside, and he usually checks on it in the morning before he walks to the LRT station to catch the train to work. Imagine his horror when he found his car had been broken into?!!! The driver's side mirror and the passenger's behind it were smashed to bits, money in the coin box and his jacket (that I bought from JAPAN!!!) were stolen!

Well, the first thing that ran through my mind when he called me to tell what had happened was, "Thank god not more damage was done to the car and he's safe!". But then, as you let it simmer in the back of your mind, you think, why the hell do we have to put up with such things? We not only have to pay for the damages to be repaired, but we have also lost a day's work and because of that we've also lost the peace of our minds. How can we park our car anywhere, anymore without worrying about it being broken into or worse, being stolen?

Just look at what's happening to us nowadays! You walk on the street, your bag gets snatched, we say, "Oh thank God he didn't drag your bag with you." You get mugged at the ATM, we say, "Thank God the mugger didn't stab you!". Someone gets raped, we say, "Thank God the rapist didn't kill you AS WELL!" IS THIS WHAT WE'VE BEEN REDUCED TO?We thank God for not being further damaged when we should not have been damaged AT ALL!

Have we really come to that stage where we're willing to lie down and tell these thieves to take all they want but just don't hurt us? And where is the justice for us? We work our asses and earn every bit of money we have, just to have it taken away by some lazy assholes who are too pumped up on drugs to even piss straight?!! If you stand up against these injustices, you get hurt or worse, KILLED! IS THIS REALLY WHAT WE'VE BEEN REDUCED TO?

I personally think that it's because we put up with these kinds of nonsense that these kinds of petty thefts and break-ins happen."Oh, this are is prone to these kinds of things. We're the ones who have to be careful." So, just because there are a few raging mad people out there, we have to lock ourselves in? Is there really no one who can stop all of this? Why can there be nations where you can literally walk naked in and not be raped, but here, we have to be afraid of being raped even if you're covered in a purdah?!

This morning's incident was clearly an amateur's work as a nearby car got broken into, as well, and guess what they took from that car? FOOD! And these amateurs are encouraged by the fact that they're doing this every night (piles of glass can be seen along the parking lots, evidence of daily pillages) and nobody is stopping them. Not even the police, who clearly know of these incidents!

I, myself, would like to fight back. An eye for an eye!! And this is coming from someone who believes in Gandhiji's peaceful ways. If I were a guy(actually the fact that I'm not one isn't even a factor right now), I'd like to find that perp who did this and bash his brains out. But since we're civilized and educated people, we don't do that. But then, WHERE IS THE JUSTICE FOR US? Where, in all of this shit, is our justice when we have to pay for the crimes perpetuated by dirtbags while they enjoy the comfort of our stuff?!!?

P.S/ Seriously, the thought of some asshole wearing the jacket that I bought, with so many loving thoughts for my boyfriend, is making my blood boil! I really hopes he pees bricks and breaks out in boils that'll scar him for life!!!! That and get run over by a truck!

P.P.S sorry for the very angry rant but i'm sure you've felt this way too before?

Thanks for the blessings.

2011-11-25T01:07:00.001+08:00

Looks like I'm one of those creatures who can only write while sleep is elusive. Actually I've had a tab open a new post since yesterday but haven't been able to come up with a single word to say. I even came up with a title yesterday! Even so, I couldn't come with any worth content, so, I abandoned a new post, once again.

Many of you in the USA are celebrating Thanksgiving today, eh? Well, I follow a few people from USA on Twitter and saw that some were just waking up to the parade after a night full of festivities. You know what I'd like? I'd like to really taste a stuffed turkey! An authentic stuffed turkey, not the kind we can get at Ayamas(though, that's a chicken. Ah, well, birds, all the same.).

So, what are you thankful for? Have you been thankful all year long or are you just counting your blessings? Someone kindly retweeted this quote today: Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

Many a times we just brush aside all the little blessings we have and go in pursuit of larger, much juicier and no doubt, much lucrative blessings. Nope, I'm not gonna sit here and preach to you that money and status are not of importance-ye' shall abandon all search of materialistic joys. Yes, materials are important, to a certain extent. To be able to enjoy the finer things in life, one must work hard and earn more but we tend to forget that life isn't just about earning more and more and increasing the zeros in your savings account. Nope, life isn't about being to literally sit down and smell roses as well(trust me, just smelling roses can get pretty monotonous after 5 minutes.).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, let's look around ourselves more often and try to appreciate the smallest blessings we have. Sleep in bed, check. Roof over head, double check. Food in tummy, check! Whatever little blessings we have, some might not even come close to having, so be grateful. Life isn't so bad, is it? Especially if you have a computer of your own and Internet connection to read what I'm saying! Life is pretty good for you then!

I ain't such a saint either. Up until maybe half a year ago, I was never really able to look around me and be satisfied. I was never satisfied and the sad truth I knew about myself is that I can never be satisfied long enough about anything. I always want more. Not such a bad thing, but it can get pretty tiresome beating one's self up. Bit life, in all it's mysterious ways has managed to tap me on the shoulder(well, it pretty much shook me up, literally) and said, " Like it or not, you've gotta learn to appreciate the smallest things in life and if you don't start looking at things more positively, it's gonna be gone before you even realized you had it."

It hasn't been an easy journey for me, this year. More downs than ups and even more battles with myself. I didn't realize all of the above in a single night. Neither did I turn over in a single night. However, the turn of events over the year has humbled me in so many ways. Many many ways that I'll need more than a single post to tell you all about it. But I will, in due time. So stay with me, 'aight?

To wrap this post up, I just wanna say Happy Thanksgiving to all those who are celebrating and to those who aren't, let this day just be one that prompts you to reflect on the past year(s) and work on the coming one. We're after all so close to a new year that it's time for epilogues.

Bonjour!

2011-11-23T00:43:00.001+08:00

Oh yea....I'm very much alive.

Got to editing my very much abandoned blog, as y'all can see.

Actually, I've been blogging(in the background) quite a lot...just that most of my posts have ended up as drafts.

I must say that Blogger has improved much and am looking forward to blogging more actively(and productively) from now on.

Gotta go but will blog soon.

Till then...

Oh, hello!

2011-09-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

Err....hi!
I know it's been ages!
I'm in the midst of my finals now, actually!
From the first day at Uni to finals already???
Yeah, time passes really fast.
Will update real soon!
In the meantime, missed y'all loads!=)

Right outta that door.

2011-04-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, I was in Tokyo when the 9.0-magnitude earthquake hit.
Yes, I'm back in Malaysia already.
No, I don't want to talk about how horrible it felt, for the thousandth time.

So, exactly 1 month and 3 days after coming back, what have I done?
I've gone and registered myself with JPA, I've applied for university and I've enrolled myself for driving lessons.
Oh, I've also done lots of eating and shopping and reading! I've finished two books and am on my 3rd.

I'm just sitting here, with my fingers crossed, praying and hoping desperately that my future university will grant me all the exemptions I need to complete my degree in 2 years.
*sigh*
Wish me luck so I can give y'all better news the next time 'round,kay?

2011-03-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by A million people I
I still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It’ll all be all right I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

The Astrology Matchmaker Test - Tickle Personality Tests > Results

2011-03-04T12:39:00.000+08:00

The Astrology Matchmaker Test - Tickle Personality Tests > Results:
"The Astrology MatchmakerRate: Re-take this test The Astrology Matchmaker Your tars are sending you straight into the arms of an AQUARIUS. As an air sign, your man is a great communicator and an independent thinker. On top of that, he's incredibly popular. You won't be able to resist his inviting personality and altruistic nature. Also ambitious and creative, he tends to be inflexible when it comes to his views. He might shy away from romantic relationships at first, but once you break through that barrier, he's yours! His sign is the water bearer, which means that he gives off a special energy that is received as a gift by others. Your ideal man is a people person, and he genuinely wants everyone to be happy. He's also a progressive intellectual with an analytical edge. So, not only will he provide interesting conversation, he'll make sure you're always smiling! In addition to possessing all of these redeeming qualities, your Aquarius is most commonly known for being the friendliest sign in the zodiac.
How to catch him:
Your Aquarian man places the intellect above physical stimulation. He needs to feel that the two of you have made a deep, meaningful connection before he'll enter a relationship. Passionate and exciting, he'll put you on a pedestal once you have had a meeting of the minds. Aquarius stands for truth, and your man will be honest to a fault. So be careful not to ask questions such as 'How do I look?' and 'Do these pants make me look fat?' when you're just looking for reassurance, because this man just might give you an answer you don't want to hear. But he's trustworthy and devoted (as long as you give him his space)."

Whimsical train rides.

2011-02-15T17:15:00.001+08:00

Long story short, I got tired of being stuck at lab on such a beautiful day, so I got on the next train and headed to Shibuya. I was hoping I'd catch some pictures of the snow there as well, but there was no proof of last night's snow storm. Then I decided to go to 109, for like the 2nd time in my life (omg..><). I was looking for something special to buy for myself but unfortunately nothing stood out except for the dress below.

I know I look stunning in it....T_T *cough* don't mind the self-flattery*cough* but it just cost too much!T_T it had lace detailing at the back and around the stomach. It even had a sewn in bra!!!T_T Oh well, when I grow up, I guess?

The white top really stole my heart as well. This was at f21. BUT! it was a size L and the only reason I could wear it properly was because I had it over another dress. Since I only have 2 off-shouldered pieces, I really wanted to get this but alas, I couldn't find any other. So, well, luck,eh?

On a totally unrelated topic, my legs are getting so much better! Notice the lack of scars? I should be able to flaunt me legs in no time!=D I've actually been using my face cream for them! That shows how much I love them and how badly I actually want them to get better. Haha. Totally pathetic, I tell you.

And this was the dress I had below it. It's nice but I realised that I have way too many of the same style and never actually wear 'em, so, didn't get it. Lol.

I have been such a good girl today, have't I? It's not like I didn't get anything at all for myself. Don't be fooled. I got myself some lingerie and a pretty lil' skirt from f21.

Oh, and I also discovered root beer at the Loft!=D

So well, ending this post in hopes that my legs get all scar-less and my tiny belly goes away. Hehe.

This has been a very self-indulgent post. Haha.

My view.

2011-02-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

I just finished the book. Yes, it's almost 1a.m. but I couldn't resist departing my views on it. Just because I want to. *coughs* Also because sleep is elusive*coughs*

I found the book both awe-inspiring and fearsome. Ms.Chua is definitely someone who has high standards and refuses to budge even a milimeter of her standards for anyone. For someone who looks so demure, she definitely is feisty.

My mother is a little of what you'd call a "Chinese mother" in many senses. And like Amy, my mum's battle strategy only worked on my eldest sister.

I understand Amys desire to bring her children up the exact way her mum did. I mean, I would too. However, like her mother, I agree that children are different and it takes a certain amount of tact to deal with different children effectively. For some, threatening to put them out of the house or no lunch would suffice to induce fear into them, for others, a threat's a mere challenge.

I do not speak from the perspective of a mother who has raised children of her own but from the perspective of a "rebellious" child.

My mother would (and still does) insist on mastering arithmetics. In her opinion, if you could do maths, you could possibly do anything. My sister would unfailingly and devotionally do her homework every night while I would fight my mother to tears! Reading Amy's book brought back memories of my mother trying her very best to make memorise my times table while all I wanted to do watch some TV. I was 8, for God's sake!

Oh,the fights we used to have!

I also used to enjoy being locked out of the house for being disobedient. You see, my mum never actually let us out of the house alone. Someone would kidnap us, she'd say. So when she actually got really mad at me and locked me out of the house and wouldn't let me in the house, it called for celebration and I played with the water hose. The only scary times were when my dog was outside with me, too. Since I was such a tiny one, I'd worry it'd eat me, which would lead to me pleading to be let in.

My mother demands the best of us. Up until today, she will never praise us in front of us. If we're lucky to catch snippets of her conversations with others, we'd find out how proud she actually was of us. Or else, you wouldn't know. She despised it when I'd dance or say I wanted to be involved in extra-curricular activities. I loved to dance-I just needed music and I'd lose myself. I was in the track team for 3 years during primary school. To her, no matter how good you may get at any of that, it could never feed you in the future. When it came to deciding if I should take up Bharatanatyam (a form of classical Indian dance) and Taekwondo (a form of Eastern martial arts), she chose the latter without asking me. Her defense? This is a scary world and you couldn't possibly dance a sexual predator off, could you? In fact, my sister was trained in the same form of martial arts too.

I used to hate going for classes. Every Sunday, when all my friends would either be sleeping in or watching Sunday morning cartoons, she'd make us wake up and go for Taekwondo classes. I despised it because of the every fact that I really wanted to dance and I could barely see without my glasses during classes which in the end ended up making me feel like a cripple. But she never gave in to my fake tummy aches or headaches. She'd fight me every step of the way. She even put us through classes despite our financial strains. That's how determined she is. I took classes for 5 whole years before I stopped.

We were never allowed to go to friend's houses. When all my friends used to gather at someone's to play, I'd make up excuses of familial obligations. We never went out to malls or movies with friends. The first time I did either was when I was almost 14. My sister? I think she was well over 20, the first time she could go out with friends. Boyfriends, of course, were not allowed. Neither were phone calls from friends exceeding 3 minutes nor phone calls from boys.

I know I never purposely fought her. I was child. I'd just remember feeling so frustrated esp since I was always full of energy. I fought her only because I felt suffocated. I loved her more than anything in the world, even then and never did I want to hurt her. What she didn't see was that she was hurting me too by constraining my every choice. I felt like a bouncy ball that was trapped in a box. I could still bounce but not without hitting the top.

I don't know when and why she stopped fighting me. I guess she just gave up on me. I remember, very clearly, her telling me that I probably would never amount to anything in life because of my pigheadedness. I do remember her insults and criticisms. I guess she tried to use insults to get me inspired. She'd compare me with my classmates even though she was the one who told us not to compare ourselves with other people. An A was not good enough if it was not above 95%. I could go on and on. When I finally realised, all that haranguing had stopped. And it worked for me.

I, like Amy's youngest daughter, didn't want her to be so intense about the things I was doing. If I was going to be committed to something, I wanted to have made the choice myself, not have it made for me. And when the pressure from her stopped, I immediately started finding outlets to pour myself into.

I think I turned out pretty fine, though. I am a recipient of the national scholarship award and an aspiring engineer (even if it isn't exactly my ideal profession). I am no average student and I stand out (like a sore thumb,sometimes) because of my ability to speak my mind. I am steadfast in what I believe and am not afraid to show it. I speak 4 languages fluently. And my vocabulary is wider than an average 23 year-old because she insisted on us looking up every word we didn't understand and memorising their usage and definitions. Above all that, I have the humility to know that though I may be one of the best, there are those better than me and one should never be comfortable with where one is. Strive and strive for the best always, is what she told me and what i keep close to heart. I do regret giving Taekwondo up. I did get to a pretty good stage, but I know for a fact I failed to rise higher because my heart just wasn't into it. But, I also found my strengths. In a way, her giving up on me was a blessing in disguise. It allowed me to discover myself in ways that couldn't be possible had she been molly-coddling me.

I guess, what I want to say is that, Ms.Chua, if you're reading this (which I don't think you are), I know that you know that you're not alone in your parenting style, but, I'd also like you to know that you're not the only one facing the resistance. I guess, when there are two kids, the elder ones tend to take the more submissive roles, letting their parents lead them down their paths. The younger ones, though, somehow need to be able to find their own paths. Of course, we need our parents around for support when we stumble and fall, but as long as we can still stand on our own two feet, we'd never give up looking for ourselves and striving for the best.

I'm proud to say that my mum and I are best of pals now. Yes, we have our fall outs once in awhile, yet we love each other more than anyone else in this world. She still thinks that modelling is for girls with no proper education and an utter waste of time while I think it is a form of art.Nevertheless, I am 23 and I am more than proud to be my mum's daughter. She has taught me to be confident of myself and to have self-respect. She taught me to never sell myself short and to always be the best of myself, no matter how painful or how hard it gets. She has taught me humility and kindness. She has taught me to be self-sacrificing and to step up to my responsibilities despite how inconveniencing they may be.

And all of this, I learnt from watching her.

Mum, I love you.

2011-02-14T21:55:00.001+08:00

Valentine-Kina Grannis

Love, it's a special day.
we should celebrate
and appreciate
that you and me found something pretty neat
and i know some say this day is arbitrary

but it's a good excuse to put our love to use
baby i know what to do, baby i will love you
i'll love you, i'll love you.

love, i don't need those things
i don't need no ring
i don't need anything
but you with me, cause in your company
i feel happy oh so happy and complete

and it's a good excuse to put our love to use
baby i know what to do, baby i will love you
i'll love you, i'll love you.

so wont you be my honey bee
giving me kisses all the time
be mine, be my valentine

so wont you be my honey bee
giving sweet kisses all the time
be mine, be my valentine

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/valentine_lyrics_kina_grannis.html
All about Kina Grannis: http://www.musictory.com/music/Kina+Grannis

Say, we've not talked in a while,eh?

2011-02-14T21:05:00.000+08:00

*now playing: I need a doctor-Eminem ft. Skylar grey & Dr.Dre*
How are you?
I'm fine. In fact, I'm bordering on great.
It's snowing outside. This time it's like major snowfall. There's about 5cm of snow in less than 4 hours? Haha. Yep, a white Valentine's Day, it is.

Happy Valentine's Day, btw.
Hope you aren't too depressed. If you're happy totally ecstatic on this blessed day, good for you. You deserve it. But if t's just another day for you, well, just another day is still another beautiful day in the history of your own life, so, you oughta make the best out of it, right? Trust me when I say that life's too short to be measured by teddy bears and roses.

Am currently reading Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm almost at the end. At this point, I'm glad my mum wasn't such a monster. Haha. Well, she's not totally a monster. I have mixed feelings about the book but that's a topic for another time.

On the home front, Malaysia isn't looking so great is it? Conflicting news all around. Just one thing I'd like to say. Take all the news around you with a pinch of salt. Never take anything as it is reported. Make your own educated judgments That's the only way you're gonna survive.

On the other hand, I just handed in the final draft of my final dissertation this morning. I know there's loads more to be done after this but I intend to take things a step at a time. Yes, that's just what I'll do.

Alright, since Jason demands my utmost attention, I'm gonna end this post here.
'till next time.
Take care loves.
Toodles.

Dear love,

2011-02-13T23:55:00.001+08:00

"You don’t just love me on my good days. On my pretty days, when I have makeup on and my hair looks decent. When I’m cheerful and witty and affectionate and feeling well. You love me when no one else possibly could. You love me when I’m pale and hollow, when I haven’t laughed for days and I’ve worn the same pajamas for a week. When I curl up in my little corner of the bed and try not to think about life. When I’m irritable and ugly and bitchy and I yell at you for stupid things. When my hair is greasy and I have bags under my eyes. Those are the times when with great patience and care, you brush my hair behind my ear, kiss my forehead, and tell me,’You’re beautiful and I love you.’" -Breanna-

Thank you for loving me.=)

2011-02-10T08:50:00.001+08:00

Love is a tricky business. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't be so enthralled with it. Lately I've come to a wonderful realization that makes me even more fascinated by it: I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern to it, except that it happens to all of us, of course. I can't plan for it. I can't predict how it'll end up. Because love is unpredictable and it's frustrating and it's tragic and it's beautiful.
-Taylor Swift-

Top 3 phrases in Japanese that'll make me wanna sock you in the face.

2011-02-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

No hard feelings, but, on my worst days, these phrases really make me wanna punch the daylight out of someone.

1.日本語って難しいね~{read: Nihongotte muzukashii ne}(means:Japanese is difficult,eh?)
-usually said when one accidentally utters the wrong phrase in Japanese and is accompanied with a sympathetic smile.
Well, I understand that you're trying to be empathetic and all, but seriously, I speak 4 languages, understand 6 and of these, 2 are self-taught. You really think you oughta be empathetic with me when you barely know 2? Yes, I do find myself in a little twist sometimes, but, honey, I guess you've never heard of the term, a slip of the tongue is not a slip of the mind.

2.どうしようもない。{read: dou shiyou mo nai}(means: There's really nothing that can be done about it. )
-usually said with a noncommittal shrug.
Well, the phrase speaks for itself. It's said in a manner that's supposed to comfort you; man proposes, God disposes kinda shiz. But, it's said in situations where its really clear that a lot can be done if only the person saying it would commit or help to get someone committed.

3.無理だ!{read: muri da} (means: impossible)
-usually said with much conviction!
3 words, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I FINISHED MY FINALS!!!!

2011-02-04T16:56:00.000+08:00

I finished my finals today! Yay!
And as I should, I celebrated by shopping!=D
Got this lovely dress from F21 and a cute bag. Lotsa lil' things in between, too...=p
Sue me for being such a girl.=P
Oh, and yours truly got spotted twice today by head hunters.Lol.

Gotta finish my thesis and I'm done for this sem!
God, can't wait to be over and done!

Happy Birthday, my love!

2011-02-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

Dear Jason, mi amor,

Happy 23rd birthday!! I can't wait to join the club in a few months! Haha...we're growing old, aren't we? But growing old with you has been so fun! I'm sorry I can't be with you for yet another birthday. It really sucks, I know. I promise that I'll be with you for the next one, okay?

I know your birthday last year was one of the worst-with your final exams and all. I hope that this one will be a much better one. And although 2011 didn't really kick-off that well, I hope that 23 will be a much much better age for you.

There are so many things I want to tell you, but my darned hormones are clouding my eyes and head so much that I can barely think! Haha.

I really mean it when I say that I'm proud of you and even prouder to be called your girl. Look back at the past year, and you yourself will agree with me, for sure. In a year, I've seen you laugh, I've seen you cry, I've seen you fall down and I've watched you rise above all expectations. I know that you have many dreams and many more hopes and I really, really wish, from the bottom of my heart, that they all do come true. And, if, God forbid, there are some that don't, I pray and hope that you may have the strength to deal with it.

I pray that God will always bless you.

I pray that He may keep you out of harm's way.

I pray that you may have a long,healthy and meaningful life.

And, though this is a selfish one, I pray that we may have many, many, many more birthdays together, with each other!

Always put forth your best foot in life and I'll always be one step behind to keep you going and catch you if you fall.

I love you and will always do.

p.s. I got you a lil' something for your birthday. Hope you like it.(The pics I took are sucky, so am attaching a URL..=P)

Yours, forever and always,

Subasni.

Counting down to graduation...

2011-01-24T20:17:00.000+08:00

I have exactly 43 days to my graduation.
My 3rd graduation ceremony if you do not count the one I had at kindergarten (yes,I'm shamelessly counting the one I had at high school).
This will be the second one without a proper robe,mind you. I'm gonna rock a saree this time though.*fingers crossed*
I have exactly 34 days to the deadline of my thesis.
7 days to my final exams.
I cannot wait to be a college student all over again once this is done.
Haha.
God save my soul.

P!nk, my hero!

2011-01-21T18:20:00.000+08:00

These are one of the songs that kept me adrift when I was 15,16...say what you want, Pink's music is inspiring like hell. They kept me sane in my crazy family. Still do.

Have you heard her new one, btw? It's called Fuckin' Perfect. Here, check it out too.

Just.....

2011-01-21T10:24:00.000+08:00

...listening to Taylor Swift's "If this was a movie"...
...trying to polish off the 1st Chapter of my thesis....
....daydreaming of graduating....
....I swear I am so close I can smell it....